GET YOURSELVES UP TO THE HAYLOFT!
(International Speech Version).

International Speech Contest Winner!

• First Place! Founder's Area E-4 Contest; Spring 2002.
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I was but a small boy, growimg up on the Farmlands of West Pennsylvania in the Autumn of 1793. One day, I was out playing with my best friend--Thaddeus Googlesmith. Thad and I were chasing each other around the Googlesmith Barn, round, and around, and around; when we ran smack dab into our fathers. Both of them were carrying muskets, as though they were expecting trouble at anytime. Mr. Googlesmith looked down at us with a stern look (all 6'6" of him) and said:

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GOOGLESMITH: "Get yourselves up to the hayloft! And don't come down until I tell ya it's safe to do so!"

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Who was going to argue with him? Thad and I scurried on into the barn, climbed up the ladder to the hayloft. Then we peeked out the window of the hayloft just to see what the heck was going on, anywho? And we saw our fathers being joined by other angry farmers carrying muskets as well. You see, all of these farmers had something in common. They all made whiskey with their surplus crops they couldn't get to market, for one reason or another, and they made a a great deal of money in that venture of their's. But, when our newly formed US Government wanted its take of the profits, the farmers refused to pay Whiskey Taxes in accordance with the Whiskey Tax Law passed in 1791. And so now, things were finally coming to a head! as Thad and I peered out the window of the hayloft, towards the horizon, we could see a band US Marshals armed to the teeth, and riding their horses in our direction. And we knew trouble was brewing!

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Fellow Toastmasters and honored guests, thus began one of the worst uprisings ever recorded in the Annnals of American History--the one that would put our newly formed Government, with its Newly Written Constitution, to its ultimate test!

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Now Thad and I ducked below the window sill so that we could hear what was going on, without being seen. And we listened, as the leader of the US Marshals, and one of the ringleaders of the rebellious farmers began to exchange hostile words with each other.

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US MARSHALL: "We are Federal US Marshals! We are placing you all under arrest for violating the Whiskey Tax Law of 1791, and refusal to pay Whiskey Taxes. Throw down your weapons, and surrender, and no one will be hurt."

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FARMER RINGLEADER: You aren't arresting anyone here today, and we will never surrender; and you're tresspassing, Now git, before we give ya what fer with these muskets! Take one more step and......"

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And a violent gunfight broke out between the US Marshals, and the rebellious farmers. And the gun battle went on for days, while Thad and I remained safely hidden up in the hayloft, with plenty of water rations . Later, Thad and I peeked out the window of the hayloft again, only to see that our beautiful farmlands had quickly turned into a battlefield for the worst uprising since Daniel Shay's Rebellion a few years earlier. And news of the uprising quickly reached our Nation's Capitol, where The President, George Washington was addressing a very large Army of Militia Soldiers.

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GEORGE WASHINGTON: "Men, we have ourselves a situation out there in Western Pennsylvania. Our New Constitution of America, WILL NEVER WORK, if we can't enfore the laws of this Constitution in all of our 13 States. Well, the ultimate test has come, men; as to whether or not we can do it. And, our testing ground is right out there in Western Pensylvania. Whether or not we pass this test, depends on whether or not we can put down this Whiskey Rebellion in short order."

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And so, that day, George Washington, the very first President of The United States, dispatched a very large army of 1000 Militia Soldiers to West Pennsylvania, to crush The Whiskey Rebellion of 1793. And that is exactly what they did! And as Thad and I peered out the window one last time, we saw hundreds, upon hundreds of militia men descending down upon the farmers from all directions; and after that, we couldn't bare to watch any longer, seeing how badly out numbered the farmers were. And as the Militia chased our fathers around the Googlesmith Barn, round and around, and aroud; Soon came the silent cease of gunfire, telling Thad and I that The Whiskey Rebellion was over. Our fathers a were taken into custody, along with the other ringleaders of the rebellion, but they were later they were pardoned by President Washington himself. I guess you might say, that the Father of Our Country had a heart, knowing how they all had to endure "Taxation without Representation" in earlier years. But The Whiskey Rebellion was indeed that ultimate testing ground which determined whether or not could enforce the laws of our new Constitution, and it was a test America passed with Flying Colors!

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Mr. Toastmaster.

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