Band Geeks New Years Resolutions

• I WILL NOT wear my Dinkles to school
• I WILL expand my listening repertoire beyond "John Phillip Sousa's Greatest Hits."
• I WILL NOT dress the lunch line.
• I WILL venture outside the band room at least once per day.
• I WILL NOT put shakos on email smiley faces.
• I WILL buy some shirts that aren't from old band performances, competitons, or groups.
• I WILL NOT conduct along with my car stereo.
• I WILL convince at least one person that duct tape is magic.
• I WILL NOT attempt to teach cheerleaders to spin flags.
• I WILL carry a port at all times.
• I WILL NOT drum hemiolas on my desk during math class.
• I WILL stop practicing when my fincers feel as though they will fall off.
• I WILL NOT quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail more than oce a week.
• I WILL remember to eat when band and finals occure simultaneously.
• I WILL NOT amuse myself at percussionists' expense.
• I WILL take only one band class per semester.
• I WILL NOT kill the sophomore saxophonists who can't play anything but "Tequila" and "Peter Gunn."
• I WILL refer to athletic teams with respect, never as the 'pre-show entertainment'.
• I WILL NOT hide in a uniform closet to avoid pep assemblies.
• I WILL return the bandroom keys to the director when he asks for them.
• I WILL NOT bevlieve that a baton, podium, or any other inanitmate object is a living object who deserves respect.
• I WILL figure out where all my black socks went.
• I WILL NOT make a snowman in a band uniform.
• I WILL remember to remove my nail polish before every performance.
• I WILL NOT make in-jokes in the pressence of non-band members.
• I WILL invent a device to keep woodwind instrumetns warm and in-tune during cold weather.
• I WILL NOT complain when we have to reheardse indoors during a rainstorm.
• I WILL cut back to one caffeinated beverage per day.
• I WILL NOT replace the director's score with something inappropriate, silly, and/or confusing before a concert.
• I WILL go to bed before 4:00 AM each evening.
• I WILL NOT cringe visibly when songs on the radio are out of tune.
• I WILL acknowledge that piccolo polayers are people, too.
• I WILL NOT complain when my arms get sore from carrying around a clarinet all day.
• I WILL understand that nutty bars, grahm crackers with chocolate frosthing, gummy worms, and Mountain Dew do not constitute a balanced meal.
• I WILL NOT use cheerleaders as scientific test subjects.
• I WILL thank a band booster before every show.
• I WILL NOT repaint the sign on the football stadium so ti says 'band field.'
• I WILL fold my uniform correctly when putting it away for the winter.
• I WILL NOT use William Fussel warm-up books as bonfire fodder.
• I WILL remember my instruments birthday.
• I WILL NOT refer to my section leader and/or any other puhsy upperclassman as "Spawn of Satan."
• I WILL wear SPF 15 or above lip balm when playing in the sun all day.
• I WILL NOT allow underclassman to be in charge of the VCR on long bus trips.
• I WILL drive in a safe and courteous manner at all times, even when I'm going to be late to rehearsal.
• I WILL NOT run over the football team with the marimba.
• I WILL remain awake during theory lectures.
• I WILL NOT refer to the band director as "that old bald guy who can't sing."
• I WILL remember to eat at least once a day, even when my schedule is hectic.
• I WILL NOT shine my Dinkles with magic marker.
• I WILL get a social life (whatever that is)