What made you want to form a band?
School. Morrissey. Staring at girls in Luton Airport the last year we went on a family holiday. Jonathan Aitken talking about the "simple sword of truth". Being 13 and watching Gladiators on a Saturday night and wondering why it wasn’t important anymore. James Pickles and the idea that a twelve year old girl can "ask for it". The first Suede record. Going busking with Nick on Felixstowe seafront on Easter bank holiday and some little shits stealing our coppers. Fairgrounds. Chip shops. Sunshine. Girls.

What do you hope people take away with themselves after seeing you?
Energy. Ideas. The quiet certainty that mankind got to the moon by pulling on its own shoelaces, and that everything in the world depends on you.

What do you think you can give the music industry that no one else can?
Three meaningless deaths, a loveless marriage, a rape, and a nervous breakdown in the local Spa in the space of a four minute disco-pop single ('Strung Out On Nowhere' – out sometime in May, kids)

What would you say if a boyband wanted to cover one of your tracks?
"Fuck me, we’re saved. We can pay off NatWest, our parents, the loan company, everything... we can cover the insurance on the car, quit buying petrol by credit card fraud, stop stealing beer... Christ, we can even get curry sauce with our chips from now on, maybe even some mushy peas..."

Do you think it is possible to die of boredom?
I’m sure most people you pass on the street died of boredom years ago. They’re easy to spot because they spend all their time on this game of deceiving themselves into believing they’re still flippin’ mental, me – just nuts!, accusing anyone who still takes life as seriously as a child does of being dull.

Whats the first things you do when you wake up?
"Stumble out of bed. Get ready for the struggle. Say "this can’t be me, must be my double"" – Leonard Cohen

If you were on blind date what question would you ask?
I’ve always thought there was something rather smug and patronising about Cilla’s Liverpool Lass routine, whereas Jill Dando’s contribution to the crime-based TV standard Crimewatch seemed applaudable. Have you ever wished a tragic death on an inane TV celebrity – if so, who and why? That’s to number three...

How do you manage to stay fit and sane whilst on tour?
Chips, pizza, burgers, tangy cheese Doritos, cornettos, drink ourselves stupid, then buy half the fridge at the services after the gig and throw up beside the A14. Me and barney stay sane by inventing sexual positions based on other people’s misfortune.

Finally, The Dawn Parade and Miss Black America in a fist fight....who woud win?
It would depend on how many people were watching. If there was any kind of a crowd, Seymour would have to make a heroic sacrifice of himself for the good of his friends, while ensuring he didn’t really get hurt much, and I’d have to get up on Barney’s shoulders and start yelling about Gandhi and Christ and eyes for eyes making worlds blind… If there was nobody about, we’d paste the stoner pansy big girls’ leopard print blouses.