So why is the world an easy place to live in?
D: ….urr….it’s not that I think the world is easy…but that people make their own shit!..No, the thing is that it’s not an easy world but the problems of the world are man made. So, if you step aside from all the man made bollocks in actual fact what you are left with is essentially a very beautiful and pretty damn easy thing to get on with. Even those things like avalanches and floods are kind beautiful if you watch them from a distance.

Yep definitely from a distance!
D: But what a way to go though. You know you’re just skiing and minding your own business and then all of a sudden you get tons of snow which lands on your head. Obviously before you break your neck and all the other bones in your body, and possibly die of suffocation and hypothermia...just before then..what a way to go..

Ok, so we have gathered that you think the world is an easy place to live in as long as you don’t make your own shit, but in terms of your band, do you play hard to get or are you easy like a Sunday Morning?
D:I am hard to get, but not through choice. I’m just absolutely lousy at pulling. The crew will back me up on this one.
Glenn:Dav can be given it on a plate, but he still doesn’t do anything..!!!
D:I’m not hard to get if someone will actually make an effort.
Jo:That’s such bollocks!!
D:Okay, what it is is that I’m backwards at coming forwards. I’m just not very good at it really. (at pulling we're presuming)
J:You just set your standards too high
D:No I don’t! I don’t have any standards!!!
J:That’s rubbish
D:No!..Oh..I’m just shy. That’s what it is.No one believes you if you are shy and you do this job – being on stage and yelling at people. They always believe that you have to be incredibly confident and outgoing, which one is in situ but then off stage is a completely different matter.

You all have to answer.
G:Well we're both taken
J:I’m more of a taker, than playing hard to get. I choose what I want and then go after them, Violently.
J:Selective easy!

Why did you put ‘Junkies and Whores’ and ‘You Make Me Want To Drink Bleach’ on both of your albums?
D:We also put 'A Stain To Never Fade’ on both of them aswell, simply because the first album wasn’t really an album it was a collection of demos really and they were all recorded really quickly, very cheaply and not with a view to being actually released. So when we actually signed a record deal - with our first album 'Better Ways To Self Destruct' we were unsigned... (What about Fierce Panda??, eh?).With that album everything was done off our own back, and off our own finances and things like that. So, when we finally got ourselves a bit of money and a record label to do it with. We wanted to re-record and re- release those songs and give them the attention they deserved. The first album was very limited edition. Having said that they have reprinted it which kinda defeats the object really.

You’ve covered Depeche Mode’s ‘Enjoy The Silence’. What inspired you to do that?
D:It’s a really good song. A brilliant tune. Their version of it whist being great can be done in a number of ways. We decided that instead of doing it in their electro way we would make it into more of a guitar rock tune. But, basically just because it is a really good song. We aren’t massive Depeche Mode fans or anything.

Who would you most like to cover one of you songs?
D:Phil Collins, he could do a cover of ‘Bleach’.
J:Do you want Eric Clapton aswell?
D:Yeah, he could play the guitar…and..umm..Elton John.
G:I’d really like Barry White to do a cover of ‘You and Me’.

Actually that could work. Maybe...Talking of maybes, have you read the review of ‘Junkies and Whores’ in NME this week? What do you think of it and do you want us to go kick their arses for you?!
D:yeah, I think it’s great. It’s brilliant. The thing is that if we were in a band that had our entire career based on the fact that NME had been writing about us and telling everyone to go out and buy our records and go to our gigs then it would be a very damaging thing, but as it is they have never had a good word to say about us anyway so it’s just another bad review from them. It doesn’t change a damn thing, because we are doing it our way and not their way and we don’t need them to like us. It means absolutely nothing to us. In fact it’s better if they hate you. In the last couple of years I’ve found that I can’t spend more than five minutes reading it. There’s nothing in there.
(As opposed to hOOchy* which is jam packed full of loads of interesting stuff!!)

You have a song called ‘A Stain To Never Fade’. What type of stain does this refer to, and have you tried Ace – the gentle bleach?
D:The stain is an obvious bit of figurative speech and refers to something in your mind that you can’t get rid of, i.e. it’s the old can’t get over someone…..and no I haven’t tried Ace Bleach, although, I’ve heard it’s very good in tea!

It’s great. It actually works. Unbelievable.
J:I find that Vanish works.

Yeah, but isn’t that just for carpets?
D:2001 worked on some wine stains. We spilled some wine at our house and we got the 2007, or whatever it’s called, squirted it on there and cleaned it off. But then there was this patch of carpet which looked so much cleaner than the rest of it!

What do you hope people will take away with themselves after they have seen you? (apart from a T-Shirt or two).
D:A warm, rosy glow
D:A T-Shirt would be good. Or free badges

Yeah, why haven’t we got any free badges this time? We lost our other ones after about a week
D:The badges we had been furnished with before weren’t very goo so we decided not to do it this time because they are just rubbish anyway.
J:You are in a similar position if you have badges given out at the gig or not. Either way you end up with no badges.
D:On an abstract level I think I’d like people take away..
G:....badges!!
D:I’d like people to have something to think about after the gig. Enjoy it at the time….jump up and down….you know enjoy the vibe…but I’d like to think that the kinda show that we do is the kinda thing that maybe might sort of feature in the moments between sleep and wake.
J:It does move. It haunts me every night.
G:Always when I wake up I wake up in a sweat….Yeah, sorry about that!!
D:Yeah, we are going to have to stop sharing a room. I’ve been seeing a Psychologist for that..but..
G:Rather you see them than see me to be honest. They’re in the bunk opposite.
D:(makes panting noise). Its what I always hear…and that always comes after the question ‘Tell us about your mother!’...sorry, we digress and regress and digress..go on regress (directed at us). Ok, you are stark naked now. What is going through your mind?

Ummm.......?
D:Ok, there are some cows floating down a stream...What picture have you got in you head?

hOOchy* #1: The cows are brown....
hOOchy* #2: Mine are black and white with their feet in the air
This debate about the images in our minds seemed to go on for a while, but we won’t bore you with the details. Not that it it is boring…! But anyway...

Moving on…..How sleazy are Easyworld? For example have you ever bought top shelf porn?
D:We haven’t. Well I haven’t.
G:Haven’t you? I have, in France. Didn’t you in one of those London Terminals for a bet?
D:Oh yeah! We heard that French porn was particularly hardcore so we bought this porn and it had monkeys in it. It was half porn and half wildlife. Documentary material. Very, very disturbing. With porn it all depends on whether you consider the exposure of porn to be part of a liberated society or whether you think that it is demeaning or degrading.
G:It depends on whether they are taking advantage of their subjects.
D:I think that it is mostly funny, and that most of the people who do it are okay. It’s also a bit of a laugh, but there will always be knock on problems. You could similarly argue that if dirty old men have enough porn then they won’t go around raping people.

And Channel 5 wouldn't survive without it
D:Exactly

Okay, last question. If your house was on fire, and you only had enough time to save one item what would it be and why?
D:The fire extinguisher!…..No…urmm…I would grab a drink from the fridge and let it burn down.I’d just sit back and look at it and go well that’s fucked then! I think that seeing you house burn down is one of the most beautiful sights. It would be all my life possessions gone.

Easy does it!