Thankfully, us girls here at hOOchy* towers haven’t quite become accustomed to the finer things in life just yet. We’re much happier with a bottle of £3 wine and a big plate of chips covered in tomato ketchup and mayonnaise, than we would ever be with a glass of champers and some posh nibbley things. Quite handy really seeing as The Park's lack of backstage area led to us being squeezed into a room with few crates of beer and a plate full of hard and curly cheese sandwiches, not to mention three other bands. Usually we would NEVER complain to be in the situation... never, (especially when one of these bands were Lapsus Linguae - who are yummier than any cheese sandwich), but on this occasion, to say it was intimidating is an understatement. But we’re not one to shy away from 15 blokes, so we steamed ahead with the interview. Unfortunately, we seemed to have lost half of it. So all the sensible, interesting and professional questions we came up with have gone, but we did manage to salvage a few other parts.
NME have said you are the 7th best band in Britain at the moment. Which bands would you like to see ahead of you at number 1-6?
Well, British Sea Power would deffinately have to be number one. They’re amazing and deserve everything they get. Who was number one anyway? Not that it matters, we dont agree with what NME says most of the time. I wipe my arse with NME.
Yep. NME should be everyone favourite alternative to Andrex.
We were reading this thing in the paper about Pete Waterman and he was saying how Ash are just a pop group and have cashed in on Westlife's success. We think this is complete crap. They're not a pop group at all. How would you describe them? What genre would you consider them to be under?
They’re just a pop band. Don’t like them.
Ok, fair enough, (you nasty boys, wait till we get our hands on you afterwards – you’ll be sorry!!).
So if Ash don't tickle your fancy, what bands do you like?
British Sea Power. Mark Bolan and The Cure.
How about Miss Black America? Do you like them?
No.
What about The Pattern
Yeah they're alright.
They're one of our new favourite band at the moment.
Actually,thinking about it, I think they're bollocks!
Well really, this is a famiily website.
We'll it’s like this at the moment. There seems to be a wave of retro fucking nonsense at the moment. Like old time rock and roll, but they are all doing something that has already been sold. A band like The Vines is fucking nonsense because they sound like Nirvana. They have so ripped off 'Negative Creep'. With a band like us though the only reason why you hear about us in NME is because people actually like us. Have you heard of the band Nirvana?!!!
Er...yeah!
(Have we heard of Nirvana? Are these people serious? Honestly what do these people take us for! Why do we bother? Jeez why does everyone think that we are so naive?)
Well we still like The Vines
God, they’re shit, and they advertise Mc Donalds.
What do you think about Ms Dynamite winning the Mercury Music prize?
My mum likes Ms Dynamite, so I like her too!
Moving on. What’s the most rock and roll thing that you have ever done then? We've heard stories about you hanging out the door of your tourbus whilst it was travelling down the motorway at 70mph
Yeah funninly enough I don't remember much about that. I once threw a TV out of a hotel window.
What a cliché, do they honestly expect us to believe this?
What would you describe as your biggest gig disaster?
I crapped myself in Manchester once
And I think we'll leave it there.
We at hOOchy* are self confessed eighties kids, and proud of it too, goddamnit. After all, Growing up in the eighties was grade A class! We had the delights of the Cabbage patch kids, Polly Pocket, Sylvanian Families, My Little Pony, Splinter from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!..."Heroes in a half shell...TURTLE POWER!" (...cough...cough...) to name just a few! Not to mention the fashions - long lycra cycling shorts under your skirt. Oh the memories.
Anyway, that being so we thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to design some questions with an eighties theme in mind...cos we’re clever like that. Oh yes we are! Linking it in with the name of the band ‘n all! All they had to do was say which one they prefered. Geniuses!
So....
How eighties are The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster?
ROUND ONE:
Pokemon or Action Men?
Action Men
Thundercats or Tweenies?
Thundercats
Harry Potter or Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur?
You what. I don’t know anything about either of them!
So, where do you live? in a cave or something? Honestly! We’ll pretend we didn’t hear that.
Monsters Inc or Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Jemstone?
The first one
Amstrad or Nintedo 64?
Is that a computer game? I dunno. Amstrad - i think!
Mad Balls or Power Rangers?
Mad Balls...ha...ha
It's not supposed to be funny. This is deadly serious.
Etch a Sketch or Pee Wee Herman?
What’s an Etch a Sketch?
The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster were officially the most deprived children in history.
After much explanation, we come to the conclusion that Etch a Sketch was the best thing since discovering how you could have the power of greyskull.
Pillow Palls or Maxi Dolls?
What are Pillow Palls? I bet you've made half these things up.
No, of course not. You were just deprived.
Mc Flurry or Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake
Wahey. At last. An answer, and it’s eighties. Although strawberry shortcake was a game in the eighties and not a cake, apparently. (Well, there an interesting piece of information for you there and you don’t get that in the NME!)
Wet N Wild or Furby?
Wet N Wild
Gosh you really are eighties. So, eighties in fact that we have devised some more eighties questions cos we know how much you love it.
You might be eighties, but this will really test your knowledge! Lets step it up a gear and take it to the next level!
ROUND TWO:
Kylie or Jason?
Jason. He takes smack you know.
How nice for him
Fraggle Rock or Roland Rat
Thats a tricky one. Fraggle Rock.
He-Man or the Incredible Hulk?
God, these ones are hard! The incredible hulk. I think!
Shell Suits or Tye Dye T-Shirts?
Why the hell are you asking these questions?
Woah, easy tiger! It's to find out how 80's you are.
Knight Rider or Baywatch?
Knight Rider
Good choice.
MC Hammer or New Kids On The Block?
New Kids on the Block. They were the first band that I ever saw live.
...and you're not embarrassed to admit this?!
Do you know the profound meaning of Wax On, Wax Off?
Yes (does a really convincing demonstration!)
Oh this is a hard one. Can you name all four members of the A team?
Hannibal, BA Baracus, Murdock and Faceman
Game...Set...Eighties Matchbox B-line disaster!!
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The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster are one of the niceset bands ever, but are also one of the most un-bloke like bands. They don't know what a Nintendo 64 is. They prefer Jason to Kylie and Knight Rider to Baywatch! Wow! They really are stuck in the eighties!!
The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster's Website
