We'd hunted down their mini-bus in the carpark and after we had controlled out squeels of excitement for fear of wrinkles and downed a few Southern Comforts we decided to be brave and approach The Glitterati. hOOchy* don't do brave What with us being a bit pathetic, the only way we could work up the courage to knock on their mini-bus was to hide behind some nice young man we had found roaming in the carpark and get him to do it for us. Score.

Their tour manager says we have 5 minutes....yeah right!

How arty are the glitterati? We've decided to test your art capabilities and get you to draw a picture for us while we interview you.
John:I'm pretty artistic.
Paul: No, you're autistic! I'm actually not very confident in our abilities.
Jamie: I'm pretty shocking. We should do that thing where you fold the paper over and we each draw a seperate bit.
Paul: Wow, we get coloured crayons as well!

What's your favourite honeymoon destination?
John: Out of all the ones i've been to?
Paul: Can i just choose any? Hawaii i think
Nic: I like Peterborough!
John: Miami is quite nice but i wouldnt go back there for a honeymoon
Paul: You're never going to get married so don't worry about it, John.
Billy: Florida.

Do you have any weird nicknames for eachother?
Paul: We call Jamie Wolf because he looks like that guy who used to be on Gladiators. It's his hair. I wrote it on his arse!
Jamie: Oh, come on, thats never stuck.Im thinking of calling Paul Napoleon cos he's small and a dictator.
Paul: Im small but i'm taller than you (Jamie) so if im Napoleon you'd be Umpa-Lumpa!
Nic: Thats a great name that!

How much do the glitterati have in common with a glitter critter.....it's a vibrator!
John: I think we have a LOT in common with it! We bring pleasure to millions.
Paul: Well, hundreds....or at least tens!
Billy: Maybe you could elaborate on what a glitter critter does?
Paul: Is it like one of those things where you put it in and like wench off with it in?!

What with hOOchy* being a respectable website we'll spare you the rest and leave it there!

Do you have any obsessive groupies yet
Nic: Theres someone who calls us up all the time from about 7 different numbers. Unfortunately we don't get that a lot.
John: We've got a couple of obsessive fans up in Leeds but i tell my parents not to come to my gigs anymore.

If you were forced to eat another human being, which body part would you choose to eat
Paul: Arse. Definitely the arse. If it was a woman i'd eat the flabby bit of her arms....the bingo wings
Jamie: I'd probably eat the stomach cos then you'd get what they've eaten as well.
John: Thigh.
Paul: That depends if they've got a hairy leg on them.

You have a song called back in power but do you want Tony Blair to be back in power after the next election?
John: We don't get involved in politics.
Paul: I don't give a fuck to be honest. I'm the least interested in politics. I think they're generally one big party now with the same policies. Years ago it used to be so different between the right wing and left wing but now they're the same. I think now it becomes more of a personality contest like Fame Academy or X-Factor where the person who gets in is probably the one with the most charisma and it's nothing to do with what the policies are. The consertative guy Michael Howard, or what ever his name is, is never going to get in even if he has the best policies in the world because he looks creepy a little bit like a peadophile. Theres no way on earth he will get in.

Whats been your most memorable moment?
John: Playing at Wembley Arena for me.
Paul: Probably doing the album in LA with a guy we've always respected.
Nic: Or Leeds festival.
John: Leeds was better than Reading.
Paul: Yeah, we had only just got up at when we played at Reading and we had issues. Physical issues. I think theres been quite a lot of different highlights so far, all the bigger shows and sometimes just some of the ones we did on the tour cos when we did our headline tour in october that was the first time we had ever done it, until then we had been supporting loads and loadsa bands so it was quite cool to go out and do our thing and see who actualy liked us and stuff like that.

They say that all that glitters is not gold but how much bling do The Glitterati have.
Paul: I have a few bracelets but they're not really classed as bling.
Jamie: I've got these on my wrist...
Paul: Eugh, nice sweaty wrist there!
Jamie: ..., and this round my neck and look, these are a bit bling...
Nic: I've got some rings on my right hand..
Paul: I've got this ring which changes colour. I think the colour it is now is the best it can be...im serious. I think it's a heat thing i dont know, but it is the best mood it can be on. The nicest one is when it goes blue but apparently thats a really bad mood. There is a really shitty grey colour it goes but thats a bad mood aswell. It's good now cos im getting all the good questions...Is bling mainly gold or is it anything shiny? We've got loads of shiny shit but no gold.

Talking of bling , how superficial would you say you are? Do you really want all those things that you sing about in the song 'Back In Power', or do you think that being happy is more important.
Paul: I think we've had all the things we sing about in 'Back In Power'. I dont think we're superficial, i think we'll take anything we can get along the way, every band does it's just that not every band admits to it. We've played with some bands who are supposed to be emo sensitive politically sensitive bands who are probably worse than us. We cant say who they were though.
John: We are not at liberty to divulge that information. Theres not been any band we've gone out of our way to stay in touch with apart from King Adora.
Paul: We toured with them 2 years ago and they were lovely to us and treated us really well, up until then we hadn't really done any touring. They were kind of like how we would want to treat a band who we take out on tour.

At this point we are rudely interupted by their tour manager who tries to get rid of us but Paul tells him to leave us alone...aw!

If you had to choose between sex, drugs and rock and roll, which would you choose?
Billy: Sometimes i could do without the sex and drugs
Paul: I would choose rock and roll definitely. I think everyone thinks they should say sex because....but.....no, actually now thinking about it i would choose the sex but rock and roll would be close behind. I don't care less for drugs really, im like take it or leave it but sex and rock and roll would be...well, sex you would probably need to live but i would be absolutely mortified if we couldn't ever play again.
Jamie: I agree.
Paul: No, you don't agree you're all fucking..... Jamie and Nic would be drugs, John would be rock and roll and Billy would definitly not be the sex!
John: I don't care less about rock and roll, i'll have sex!
Nic: Im going to give up the rock and roll and become an artist i think...

So apart from Nic, none of you are that arty then?!
John: What happened to the legs?!
Paul: I didn't match them up very well did i. I was trying to do fishnet tights.