Pop. Dont’cha just love it? No, go on, admit it, you do... Oh yes you do, there’s no fooling us. We've seen you singing along in your bedroom to SClub7 when you think no ones looking. Don’t worry, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, we all do it!! Admitably, its usually after a couple of pints, but still!
Everyone loves pop, ‘cos as Alex Kane said, it gives us something to laugh at. The dances, the out of time miming, the clothes, the fake smiles, the fake tans and the complete lack of talent to do anything but have a big cheesy grin on your face 24 hours a day. It’s absolutely fantastic.
But nowadays pop isn't so much about having a good voice, the ability to dance non stop to that funky funky beat, or even about being an inspiration to thousands of children. Pop nowadays is more competitive than ever and almost every group has now resorted to the notion that sex sells. Yes, welcome to the 21st century, where sex sells quicker than a Glastonbury ticket. Gone are the days of vertically challenged, overweight singers. Gone are the days of someone with a permanent bad hair day getting to number one, and more importantly, gone are the days of actually needing talent. If your female, resemble a tooth pick, have recently discovered the advantages of having blonde hair, and can squeeze into a dress the size of a postage stamp, then roll out the red carpet, we have a star in our mists.
Equal rights, seems to have completely skipped over the pop industry. Its okay to have boys as ugly as sin in a pop group, (Hear’Say and Steps anyone?), but imagine the stick a girl would get if she too resembled the back end of a bus. The group wouldn't get anywhere, and without doubt, would be more top of the flops, than top of the pops.
Remember that Scottish girl Claire from Popstars? No, of course you don't, cos she was fat and female and wasn't even given a chance to go any further than the first round. But you all remember Rik Waller from Pop Idol. He was fat and male which meant he was given a chance and consequently made it into the final 10. Okay, so he still isn't bigger than Robbie Williams, (well not in terms of star status anyway!), but he was still given a chance. Claire what’s-her-name wasn't, and that’s not fair. Mel C was completely slated by the press when she put on a couple of pound, but its perfectly acceptable for Paul from SClub7 to eat one too many pies, no one has batted an eyelid at the fact he's turned into Mr. Blobby overnight. But imagine if Rachel SClub had. Think of the headlines. The SClub party would’ve come to a stand still pretty darn sharpish!
Now, let me just say this isn't a feminist rant ‘cos for starters I’m not a feminist. I'm all for the whole burning your bra thing, but I think maybe they should have burnt their knickers as well, cos at least then feminists wouldn't get them into a twist every time an equal rights debate is raised. This is a rant about using sex to sell records. Right? Sorted. Glad we got that one cleared up.
Anyway...sex sells. We all know that. But why is it only the female sex sells? Why is it boy bands can be ugly? Why is it mixed pop groups have more females members than males? Why is it female singers all have to be skinny and blonde and male singers can look like the ugly one out of Westlife? Why is it that when Atomic Kitten had short dark hair no one had heard of them, but as soon as that bottle of bleach comes out and the hair extensions go on, do they achieve superstar status? Does Kylie really stand a chance of getting to number one without wearing hot pants? No. And does she need to wear them? No. Okay, by wearing them she generates a lot of publicity, but is a pervy old man going to buy her latest album just cos he likes her arse? No. Did Holly Vallance really have to make it look like she was naked in her last video to be able to have a hit? Probably yes. And can Hear'Say only claw their way back up the charts by having Myleene and Suzanne wear see-thru tops over push-up bras on ‘This Morning’? Most definitely yes. . It can't be very nice to know that you have to flash the nation before you'll get a hit. Someone force-feed these girls a big plate of greasy chips and give them something sensible to wear before they catch their death!!
Pop music appeals to young girls, not men. So why make these female singers into sex symbols? Why can’t we just have someone with a poodle perm at number one anymore? I’m fed up of seeing Barbie clones on television. Where have all the real people gone? (Apart from onto Channel 5!). If the times really have changed for good, and we can never again expect to see someone over a size 8 being a star, or someone who actually wears some clothes having a hit without being labelled as 'frumpy', then that’s just sad.
I bet Victoria Beckham now wishes she’d hitched her skirt up a couple more inches when promoting her last single, maybe then she would have got that number 1 songs she so desperately wanted. Sad but true.
