They say it’s not good enough.
Didn’t try hard enough.
Failed again.
They say I’m not good enough.
Didn’t do well enough.
Failed again.
They say I’ll never make it,
Never reach my goal,
Never make my dream come true.
They say
“You think you can?
Well, won’t you be surprised
When you find out what we say is true...
You’ll never do.”
And though I know it’s wrong,
A part of me starts to believe them...
“It’s all your fault.”
“You’ll never make it.”
“You’re too stupid.”
“You’re too fat...”
“I’m embarrassed to have you for a daughter.”
“I’m sorry Momma,
I’m sorry Daddy.
I’ve failed again.
I know I’m not what you want me to be.
I know I’ll never be good enough.
I know there is no hope...
I’ve disappointed you,
And I’m sorry.”
But what can I do?
It’s a part of me.
I’ve failed again
And will fail many times before I’m through.
I can’t be good enough for you.
I only do what I can do...
So I pack my fears away and hide them in a closet.
Pretend that everything’s okay
While all my dreams and hopes are stuffed behind a shoe.
There, only the pain shows through.
This is what I do.
Stuff everything down and pack it inside.
This, at all costs, this I must hide.
The fear and the pain and the hopes and dreams, too
Are all there
Stuffed inside
Hidden under a shoe...
Yes, this is what I do.
There comes a time when the closet door won’t shut.
What’s hidden inside just won’t stay put.
And this is when I cut...
I cut out the fear and I cut out the pain.
I push it outside; I can handle it there.
I flush out the anger and cover the stain.
And after it all I am even more scared...
But I find, that for now, there is room to spare.
I pushed everything out but I don’t despair.
For, now I can put more in there.
When the fear comes back
Along with the pain,
I can lock it away,
Safely
Closeted
Again.
