Beginnings

"Carmen was a wonderful man, dear." (Yeah, no shit.)

"At least he went quickly." (Not as quickly as you're about to go)

"How ARE you?" (I'm ready to go dance the Irish jig on a table naked ... and how are YOU?)

And, if one more person took her hand, stared holes into her face, and said "If there's anything I can do ..." she'd actually vomit on the offending person.

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"Kids."

"Yeah Mom" Fiona answered, the rest of her children gathering around her as the wake began its fourth hour.

"I'm going to go lie down. I've had enough."

"Go ahead Mom. We'll handle things down here." Morgan replied, the others nodding in agreement.

"Thanks kids. You know how much I love you, right?"

"Of course we do. We love you too." her son pulled her into a tight embrace, which she returned, before lavishing the same attention on Morgan and Fiona. She was glad that they had each other for support. It made it easier.

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She made her way up the stairs, turning to look down at her children, their children, smiling lovingly at them. They all turned out beautifully and she couldn't have asked for better kids. She was proud in the adults they'd become, adults that she and her beloved Carmen had raised.

Siobhan entered the bedroom that she shared with Carmen, the memories that the room held wrapping around her, bringing a smile to her heart. She'd flipped on the light in the master bathroom, deciding that a nice hot bath would be just what she needed and she leaned down to regulate the water and start the tub filling. She added some vanilla bubble bath, Carmen's favorite, pilling her hair on top of her head and disrobing before submerging herself in the warm water which enveloped her in a firm embrace. She cried then, till the water tirned cold and her skin got all "pruny." Wiping her tears, she drained the tub and wrapped herself in Carmen's plush terry cloth robe, the scent of his aftershave still lingering for her pleasure.

She padded back into the bedroom, over to the secretary desk, where she pulled out a few sheaves of her personal stationery, cream paper with gilded edges, removing her trademark purple-ink fountain pen from its resting place, and she began to write ...

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After she finished, she went to the closet to dress, and removed Carmen's favorite of her nightgowns, a deep purple satin, floor-length gown, with spaghetti straps 'God, he loved to see me in anything with spaghetti straps' she thought to herself, smiling. She went into the bathroom, brushing her hair until it cascaded down her back, gleaming in its rich luster; and, she carefully applied her makeup.

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"That's the last of them."

"Thank GOD!"

"Morgan! That's not nice." Fiona gently chided, before giggling to her baby sister. "Well, ok, they WERE all a bit much."

Joining in with Fiona, Morgan responded, "Just a little. I'm glad they're gone. I can see why Mom wanted to go relax."

"Speaking of which, I'm going to check on her. It's not like her to stay away as long as she did."

"Give her a kiss for me if she's sleeping."

"Sure, Mor. I'll be right back."

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Siobhan fanned the gown out around her as she laid back onto the bed, on Carmen's side, specifically; the scent of him strong on the pillows. She closed her eyes, breathing deep, and she sighed a contented smile.

"Oh, My Love, I can't wait until the day we're together again."

And, by the time Fiona had gotten up the stairs to knock once, Siobhan Evangeline O'Reardon Carvalho had quietly willed herself to die.

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"Mom?" Fiona called out, after quietly knocking twice on the door.

"Mom?" she whispered, so as not to wake her, as she opened the door a crack and peeked her head inside.

"Mom." Something about her Mother didn't look quite right and Fiona went to her then, gently shaking her, trying to rouse her from sleep.

"Mom! Ma! Wake up!" Crying now, she screamed for her brother and sister, yelling for them to come quick.

When they got to the room, they found Fiona thrown across Siobhan's chest, sobbing ... and they knew. In her hands, Siobhan had held a long-dried long-stemmed red rose, the rose Carmen had given to her the day he proposed.

Morgan noticed the letter on the nightstand and her hands shook as she picked it up, removing the contents from the envelope.

With a broken voice, she began to read aloud:

"My beautiful chidren,

If this all goes according to my plan, then I'll be gone when you've found this.

Please forgive my selfishness in leaving you now. Of all times.

I know your grief is strong in the loss of your beloved father. For me, he was more than my husband, he was everything to me; and, when he died, I died. From the night of our first date, until the day he was taken, we'd never spent a day or a night apart.

This is difficult for me to explain to all of you. The reasons why I've left you. It's not any of your faults. Your father and I couldn't ask for more loving, more wonderful children. We are so proud of the people you've become; and, my job is done. I've taught you everything you need to know to lead happy, fulfilling lives.

That's not right. There is one more piece of advice that I have to give to each of you; and, that advice is this: Don't settle for anything less than a love you would willing give up your life for.

I love you all so much! Forgive me.

Mom"

epilogue