Road Doc
Chapter 41
Theresa sat watching her best friend sleep. Suzy had emotionally fallen apart as soon as she’d seen AJ and Theresa. Theresa had finally broken down and given her a mild tranquilizer and she was now resting, curled up and covered up on a long cushioned bench on AJ’s bus as they rolled down the highway on their way to Denver.
AJ had fallen apart too, but his emotional distress he kept inside, not wanting to upset Suzy any more than she already was. As soon as Suzy had fallen asleep, AJ had gone to the back of the bus, and closed the partition. Theresa was certain he was back there finally releasing all of the emotions he’d been bottling up. It was obvious to her that AJ had strong feelings for Suzy, and she believed that they were good for one another.
Theresa smoothed Suzy’s hair, pulled her blanket up and kissed her on the forehead. She went to the back of the bus and knocked softly on the partition before opening it. AJ sat sprawled out on his large bed, staring at an unopened bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his hands.
“You okay?” Theresa asked, knowing full well that he wasn’t.
AJ nodded and closed his eyes, rubbing his temple and then pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. Theresa sat down next to him and sat, saying nothing.
“You know” he said after awhile. “I’ve never felt anything as terrible as I did when I thought she was on that plane.”
“I know” Theresa said, putting her hand on his arm.
“And I’ve never felt anything as...I don’t know...as good, but good isn’t the right word....I just felt so relieved when I saw her on the elevator”
“You really like her, don’t you?”
AJ nodded.
“She makes me feel like I’m something special, but at the same time like I’m just a normal guy” he said, starting to pick at the label on the bottle of Jack. “I don’t feel like I have to pretend around her....I don’t have to try to impress her. It’s like she really knows me....not the Backstreet Boy AJ McLean, but me, Alex.”
“That’s good, AJ. I’m really glad she makes you feel that way”
“I mean, I’ve never met a chick....I mean a woman like her before. I could belch and fart in front of most other women and they just giggle like a bimbo and ask how many cars I own or something stupid like that. But with Suzy...she’d just laugh and call me a nasty little fucker.....”
“That sounds like the voice of experience there.” Theresa said, laughing a little.
AJ chuckled and continued to peel the label from his bottle.
“Don’t let her give you any shit about stuff like that. If she ever calls you a nasty little fucker for belching or farting, remind her that you know someone who has been around her after she’s eaten guacamole”
They both laughed and then were quiet again.
“Whats up with this?” Theresa said, tapping the top of the bottle in AJ’s hands.
AJ shrugged and looked away.
“AJ, promise me something”
“What?” AJ asked, looking directly into Theresa’s eyes.
“Promise me you won’t hurt her.” Theresa said, taking the bottle from his hand and
setting it in the trash can by the bed.
“How can you say that?” AJ asked, obviously hurt by her words. “You know how I feel about her.”
“I know AJ. I’m just very protective of her, that’s all. She’s been through a lot in her life, things that you can’t even begin to imagine. Her step-father was a terrible alcoholic and the things he did to her...”
“What, you think I’m going to do something bad to her? I’m not the type of guy to hurt women on purpose...” his words trailed off as he remembered what he had done to
Theresa.
Theresa didn’t say anything, as she was thinking the same thing he was.
“Did you tell her? Did you tell her what I did to you?” he asked quietly.
“No, AJ, I didn’t.”
AJ rolled over on his stomach, his arms hanging off the side of the bed. He fingered the bottle in the trash.
“AJ, you know better than anyone in the world that I am a very forgiving person. I just want you to know that I’m not so forgiving when it comes to people hurting my friends.”
Theresa got up and left without saying any more. She hadn’t wanted to accuse AJ of anything, hadn’t wanted to make him think she thought he was going to do something sinister. She knew that he was emotionally upset over what had nearly happened to Suzy, and she knew that the temptation to drink away that emotion was strong for him right now. She had simply wanted to give him a reason not to drink, that reason being Suzy and the horrible things she had endured as a child growing up with an alcoholic
step-father.
AJ laid on the bed, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts. His emotions were overwhelming him and he felt as if he were on the edge of losing control. He was so in love with Suzy that it scared the shit out of him. He felt a need, a staggering need to have her with him. At the same time he was terrified of hurting her. Theresa’s words had planted a seed of doubt in his mind, and now he wasn’t sure if he was capable of having a woman in his life without hurting her. He had hurt every woman he’d ever cared for. He had fucked up every relationship he’d ever had. He always found a way to turn away every person who ever cared for him.
As he laid there thinking all of those thoughts, his heart began to sink. He slowly made up his mind that Suzy would more than likely be no different than all those in his past. With a deep sigh and a sense of defeat in his heart, he took the bottle from the trash, opened it and took a long, slow drink.
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