The first night home for Mikayla was the hardest. Her phone rang most of the night, but she instructed Manigo to inform everyone who called that she was not home, or she wasn't taking calls. She sat in the middle of her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, and cried most of the night. She cried for herself, mostly, but she also cried for this baby. She had no idea who's baby this was. What was she going to tell him or her when they got old enough to ask questions? How was she going to do this all by herself? She had so many questions and doubts running through her head. Finally, sometime long after midnight, she decided to stop crying. She had made many mistakes in her life, but this is one topped them all. Wait, a baby was a baby, not a mistake. She would never make this baby suffer because of her stupidity. She could do this. She didn't need any help, financially or otherwise. She was strong, and she WOULD do this. It wasn't as if she were some poor teenaged unwed mother with limited options. She was an adult who had made some bad decisions. At that moment, she vowed never to cry for herself again... even though her heart was breaking because she knew her boys could never know about this baby. It's not like any of the prospective daddies were exactly great father material. Not that she was a prime candidate for mom of the year, but still... First there was Kevin... very married... not very likely to be excited by the news that he may have gotten her pregnant. Then there was Howie... yeah, he'd be THRILLED to find out, considering he brushed her off like a piece of lint after their encounter in the elevator. Nick... she laughed when she thought about Nick... way too young and soooo not ready to settle down with a kid. And AJ... she closed her eyes and sighed when she thought of AJ. Mr. Badass. Party guy to the end. Slight drinking problem. Not exactly stable, either. No, she could never tell them. This would be her baby, and hers alone.

The next day, she went for her first appointment with the doctor. Since she wasn't sure exactly how far along she was, they did an ultrasound. As she lay on the table, watching the doctor's face as he checked the baby, she wished somebody was there with her... Brian. She missed him so much. He would be the one who would love seeing this.

"Well, it looks like you're about 7 weeks pregnant, Mikayla. You know, you could have gotten pregnant anytime within a few days after you missed that pill." the doctor said. Mikayla thought back to the days after the night of hard drinking... There was no way to know which boy was the father.

"Would you like to see the baby?" the doctor asked, smiling.

She nodded, and the doctor turned the monitor around so she could see the tiny little embryo. When she saw the teeny, tiny flickering in the center of the baby, she asked what it was.

"That's the heartbeat," the doctor said, smiling. Mikayla's hand covered her mouth, and she felt the tears begin to roll down the sides of her face as she watched the tiny little heartbeat. But this time, the tears were happy ones.

*****************************************

AJ looked at Mikayla's departure as a personal rejection and it affected him deeply. He missed her so much, he couldn't stand it. He had been trying to get up the courage to explain how he felt about her, but she left so suddenly, he never got the chance. He tried calling her day and night, but she was never in. He knew she was screening her calls. He just couldn't understand why she left so quickly, and then wouldn't take calls from any of them. The more he thought about it, the more it hurt. It was a hurt that he just couldn't shake.

Kevin was angry. Angry that she left without so much as a goodbye. Angry that she wouldn't return his calls. Angry that she had gotten him so attached to her, then dropped him like a bad habit. He never mentioned her anymore, and he would snap at anyone who did. On the outside he looked fine, but inside, he was seething. He vowed that after their tour was over, he was going to find her and let her know exactly how pissed he was.

Nick took Mikayla's departure in stride. He knew her personality, and that she would eventually get tired of being around them 24/7. He did get a little concerned when she was never home, and wouldn't return his calls. He wondered if he had done something that made her angry with him. But then he thought better of it, realizing that she had never been able to stay angry with him that long. He figured she had just had enough of them for awhile and needed a break. He didn't blame her at all. They were all sort of posessive of her, and she was probably just feeling suffocated.

Howie could care less that she was gone. After their encounter in the elevator, he was through with her. She was far too aggressive and demanding for his taste. He liked his women quiet and submissive, and she wasn't his cup of tea at all. He just couldn't understand why the others were so upset by her sudden exit from their lives. Good riddance...

Brian was worried. Mikayla had promised to call, but she never did. It was as if she had just given them all the brush off, and he was sure something was terribly wrong. Was she sick? Was she in trouble? There was something going on, and he had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knew exactly what it was.

***************************************

Five months later, the tour was ending in Orlando. Mikayla had been hearing about the concert on the radio, and she wanted to be there so badly. She missed them terribly, and she longed to see her boys one more time. Her hand fell softly to her rounded belly as she felt the baby move. She smiled sadly. There was no way she could go to that concert, and she knew it. She couldn't see them again, but she would always have a part of them... or one of them. Probably the best part, anyway.

Manigo brought the phone to Mikayla, who was sitting out by the pool, sunning herself.

"It's Miss Karina," he said, assuring her it wasn't someone she was avoiding. He couldn't understand why she was avoiding those boys. They were the ones who got his Mistress into this mess, and he was ready and willing to make them pay. But, that wasn't his business, and he never said anything to Mikayla about it.

"Hey, doll," Mikayla said cheerily into the receiver. Karina was her only female friend, and they were as close as sisters. Karina understood her, and there was never any competition between them.

"You do realize we're going to see the Backstreet Boys tonight, right?" Karina asked, trying to be serious.

"Umm no. I can't go, babe. You know I can't," Mikayla answered laughing. Karina knew the situation, but she couldn't understand why Mikayla wouldn't tell them.

"Yep. You're going. No arguments, either, Missy. We're going to see them, and that's that. You don't have to let them see you, God knows why you don't want them to, but we're going. I'll be there at 6 to get you. I've already got our tickets. They're great seats, and you won't have to worry about them seeing that gigantic belly of yours."

"Bite me, Karina," Mikayla laughed. As she hung up, she thought about it. She probably could go to the show unnoticed as long as she didn't sit too close to the stage. She smiled and called for Manigo to help her out of the lounge chair.

Later that night, Mikayla and Karina made their entrance into the arena. Mikayla looked radiant. Her skin was actually tanned for once, and her pregnancy had given her a glow of happiness that she had been missing her entire life. They made their way to their seats, which were beside the stage, only about four rows back. Mikayla looked over at Karina as they were walking closer and closer to the stage, and she gave her a nasty look.

"I thought you said I wouldn't be noticed," she hissed.

"I lied," Karina said, smiling an evil smirk. Mikayla turned and started back up the stairs, but Karina grabbed her arm.

"Mikayla, sit down. They'll never notice you. There are 20,000 people here. You're one person," Karina said, trying to calm her down. Mikayla sighed and went to her seat. The lights soon went down and her boys took the stage. They looked so incredible. She was glad she came.

About halfway through the show, Kevin glanced over to the seats to his right, and he had to do a double take. It was HER. He was so shocked, he almost forgot the words to the song he was singing. She looked so different. So... alive. So happy. Mikayla saw Kevin looking at her, and she smiled slightly. He didn't return her smile. All she saw was contempt in his eyes. She made sure Karina was standing beside her, so there was no way he could see her pregnant tummy.

He didn't mention anything to the other guys about her presence until the very end of the show. He casually walked over to AJ during the final song and leaned in close.

"She's here," he said in a low voice. AJ's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he scanned the crowd. Mikayla could see that Kevin had apparently told him she was there, and she got a panicky feeling inside.

"We've gotta go, Karina," she said, pulling Karina toward the aisle. They made their way out to the car, and Karina took her home.

"Bye, sweetie," Karina said, kissing Mikayla on the cheek.

Mikayla hadn't said a word the entire ride home. "Girl, why don't you just TELL them? You're crazy, you know that? If I was going to have one of their babies, I'd at least give them the opportunity to decide if they wanted anything to do with it or not. I mean, if they don't, that's fine. You're already prepared to raise it on your own, but what if they do? You're going to deny the father of this baby the opportunity to decide, Mikayla. That's crazy. It's crazy and it's wrong."

"I don't judge you, Karina. Don't judge me," Mikayla said angrily, stepping out of the car and slamming the door.

Later that night, AJ pulled into Mikayla's driveway. He sat in the car for several minutes, trying to get the nerve to go to the door. He knew he wouldn't ever get past the big guy, but he had to try. He walked slowly up the front stairs, and knocked on the door. Manigo opened the door and stared at AJ with open hostility. He would love nothing better than to crush this little tattooed freak under his fist.

"I need to see Mikayla," AJ said, his voice shaky.

"No," said Manigo. "She doesn't want to see you."

"MIKAYLA!!" AJ yelled. He had to see her. "MIKAYLA!!!" He yelled louder. Manigo started to close the door, but Mikayla's voice stopped him.

"No, Manigo. Let him in," she said quietly.

She was standing at the top of the stairs in her long white cotton nightgown. She was so nervous, she could feel her hands shaking as she held the rail. Her heart was racing as AJ entered the foyer. He walked slowly up the stairs. When he reached the top, he put his hands on her shoulders. She looked away, but he turned her face back toward him. She looked into his eyes, which, for once, weren't covered with sunglasses. He kissed her gently, pulling her close to him. He abruptly stopped and jumped back when he felt her swollen stomach press against him. His mouth fell open, but he couldn't speak. He slowly ran his hand over her belly, then shook his head, as if to try to make sense of this. He dropped to his knees and pressed his cheek against her stomach. She put her hand on his head, as the tears began to roll down her cheeks again.

It's over, she thought. But somewhere, deep inside, she knew that it was just beginning.