He was always the one we could turn to when common sense out of the madness of the world was needed. He was the listener; the quiet one. The one we could always count on when we required strength with a sensitivity and hope with honesty. So on this day when I found myself seeking refuge from crazed fans who had been following me hoping to get access to them by getting to me it was only natural I sought him out.

*********************

Working with them as one of their personal managers of their overflowing mounds of paperwork and office procedures needed on the road did have its advantages. I got to travel with them and see first hand all the excitement and joys that this life they had built for themselves through music and the fans. I was ever beaming with pride at how well each of them had weathered the bad times with the good. And how they seemed like brothers with each other and made me feel as a sister to them.

Now that their popularity had reached an international level we never imagined. It was harder and harder to take care of the simplest tasks for them without causing a commotion. Lots of times I did what I could to help them since I could usually go out without anyone knowing my connection. Or sometimes I would go with them to take care of any secretarial or whatever issues that might come up which needed details scrutinized which they would often neglect because of like of time. I made sure loose ends were taken care of and followed through on.

Recently though that had even changed. Some reporter had found out I was a cousin to Brian and Kevin from their home state. They had snapped my picture and plastered it in some teen magazine. Now I was having some over zealous fans following me whenever I tried to accomplish some personal mission for the guys. Like big brothers should, they had began to worry for me and made me take a bodyguard type person with me when ever I went out by myself. Except for this day.

This day I was in a hurry and had snuck out with out my escort or any of the guys with me. I only needed to run a few errands and it had been so long since I had a chance to do anything by myself. That was the one thing I had disliked about all this. I was a person who always enjoyed some solitude time for myself. Now that was gone. I was beginning to experience first hand how all this could wear thin and take its tow on the guys. At times it can grow old and make you feel smothered.

But on this day I once again felt the freedom of self. And for a few minutes at least it was glorious to have once again. Then it happened. Some fans recognized me and started following me. So I began a game of hide and seek. I should have had more sense. Fans can be very adept at finding their prey. How many times had I seen how fans without meaning to can hurt anything and anyone in their way . I thought I had found a haven in a phone booth where I pretended to talk with someone trying to hide my face best I could with my jackets collar. But I was trapped since the fans seemed to have planted them selves near my car and obviously were not planing on leaving till I sought out my ride home.

Thats when I used my cell phone to call him. Howie was the first one I thought of and sought out. He was there and as usual he came through for me. He had a bodyguard get out and distract the fans. He had disguised himself and coming me from behind me he grabbed me and pulled in the tinted windowed car. Scaring me in the process that some crazed fan was trying to kidnap me to get meet a BSB or something. He had muffled my mouth with his hand and I was seething at first until I thought how he had come out and done this on his own. He could have easily just sent someone else to get me. But he had cared enough to do it himself.

As we rode back to the hotel I thought I had begun to no longer feel scared. But for some reason my heart was still racing and I felt an unusual feeling of a need to stay close to him. He too seemed to be feeling the same way. Staying close by my side and holding me close as if I might break if he let go of me. I liked the feeling of it. The strength I felt in his grip on me. I felt completely safe with him. Safer then I had felt in a while.

When we got inside my room my eyes must have been telling him to stay. For he came in and sat down in the padded chair by the bed without saying a word. Watching my ever move as I went about the room trying to get myself back together. My stomach still felt funny and I almost felt light headed. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. Then it hit me. Like an ocean wave had knocked me down it hit me. I was overwhelmed with emotions and teared up. It was then I noticed my hands were shaking as I tried to take a deep breath and calm myself. Not wanting Howie to see me this way. I asked him to leave me alone a while and I would be fine. Luckily he had no intentions of leaving me alone.

The tears began falling and I couldn't stop them. That was when he reached out for me, pulling me to him. I let him. He sat me in his lap and held me tight stroking the back of my hair and neck. Kissing me on the forehead and whispering to me how scared he had been when he got that phone call. My voice had sounded strange. Not at all like my usually calm self.

I looked into his eyes. This time I did not see the eyes of a concerned brother. Instead his kisses began to go to my neck. Sensual lingering ones. Kisses of a lover who was concerned and was trying to comfort. I began seeking that comfort in him.

The kisses went to my mouth now where his lips felt full and soft against mime. His tongue began trying to explore my mouth as I opened it to him and exploring his in return. His hands began to explore my body slipping his hand under my top, rubbing over my back . While his other hand went under the front of my top. I sighed as his fingers began to circle each of my nipples making them hard and tingling for more. I tugged at my top till I had it off and then helped him take off his shirt. As I undone each button down his shirt his large brown eyes melted into mine making me realize just how much I had wanted this for a very long time. He began telling me he felt the same for me, but had not acted on it afraid of what my cousins reaction to it would be. I had a strong feeling of anyone in the group Howie would be the one they would choose for me. I assured him we had nothing to worry about.

Now he began taking each of my nipples in his mouth sucking and nibbling, making my back arch to bring them closer to his mouth. I began to feel his hardness against my thigh. Just as I was going to get up to finish undressing he took matters in his hands by ripping my panties off me . His fingers began to rub in my folds. Finding my most sensitive spot with no trouble he began a rhythm of rubbing that starting me begging him not to stop and wanting him inside me. The burning pleasure grabbed me as I arched back and came in waves . As if gasping for air I was finding it hard to breathe.

Now that he had me wet and ready for him I reached down and undid his pants. He lifted up just enough for me to pull them down so they could drop to the floor. Now I was feeling the muscles of his thighs against my legs and hips. He sighed saying how warm and soft I felt as his hardness began to seek it's way inside me. This time my sighs turned to gasps as he filled me completely. My tightness stretching for him to fit. He put his hands on my waist helping me develop an up and down motion with him as I felt him going in and almost completely out of me with each movement. The burning waves hit me again this time with his deep throated moans letting me know he was coming with me. We came with a passion that had waited too long and the room disappeared in my head till the point I could only feel and see him nothing else.

I grasped the strength of his arms and reveled in the feel of the hair on his muscled legs tickling my hips and back of my thighs as our rhythm slowed. I began to fully realize how I loved the feel and smell of him. The way he knew what I wanted without having to say it. And the way he listened to my body telling him what it needed. He truly wanted to please me in every way and it made me want to do my best to please him.

He pulled me close to his chest now. Pressing my breasts against his chest. Wrapping his arms around my back and hugging me in a warm closeness I had never felt before. I laid my head on his shoulder as he leaned down and kissed my lips once again. Slow kisses of a lover who listens. A lover for life.