Second Chances

Four jaws were practically hitting the floor as Brian finished his story. They were all in the living area of Nick and Brian’s suite at the Waldorf Astoria.

“Rok, shit, I wouldn’t believe any of this if I hadn’t seen both of them with my own eyes,” Nick stated, glancing at Jennifer who was standing near the window looking down at the street below.

“Guys, I’m sorry for laying this all on you at once. It’s just with the security here, and our own bodyguards, I figured this would be the safest place to bring them.” Brian explained, guiltily.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin said. “You did the right thing.”

“This explains why you have been acting kinda weird lately.” Howie added.

Brian nodded his head tiredly.

“Well, fuck,” Aj chimed in. “And I thought I had problems.”

Brian smiled weakly at the attempt to lighten the mood.

“How can we help?” Nick asked.

“Just act like nothing’s changed. Go to the TEEN PEOPLE interview we had today. I don’t want to raise any suspicions. But, I have to stay here with them. Make up some excuse for why I can’t be there. Say I’m sick. Anything. I don’t care.” Brian said. “And, Nick, would you mind sharing a room with AJ for now? I need to use your room, so that Jenn can rest in mine.”

“You bet, buddy.”

“Is there anything else we can do?” Howie inquired.

“No. I don’t think it would be a good idea if you were anymore involved in this than you are now,” Jennifer replied, sitting down on the couch.

“She’s right,” Brian agreed. “Just go get ready for the interview. We’ll be okay here.”

The fellas left to do as he asked.

At least, I hope we are. Brian thought to himself.

****************

Jennifer was trying to push aside her exhaustion so that she could think, when she heard a radio switch on from somewhere in the back of the suite.

She stood up and moved swiftly down the hall toward the bedrooms.

Brian was in one of those rooms putting plastic trash bags underneath the bed linens to keep the mattress from being stained by Jenn’s blood. Jenn was in the bathroom trying her best to clean herself up-----something she’d insisted upon doing on her own. Jennifer could hear the water running behind the closed door.

She came face-to-face with Brian in the hallway as he, too, heard the radio. She tried not to think about the way she’d seen him, sitting in the car, his eyes filled with tears, holding desperately to Jenn’s hand as he kissed her. She tried, and failed.

Jennifer looked into the room where the radio played. “It’s just a clock radio.”

Brian was staring at the floor, a slight frown wrinkling his forehead. “That song…”

The melody of the slow pop ballad was hauntingly familiar despite the fact that Jennifer couldn’t remember the title.

Brian looked up at her. “We danced to this song at the party at the Hard Rock. Do you remember?”

She did. Foggily. As if remembering a dream. And it had to be a dream----neither of them had gone to the party.

Brian laughed. “It’s a residual memory,” he said. “We’re remembering things that happened the first time around. Wow, I’ve never had one this vivid.”

He was right. It was vivid. Although it was misty, she saw the events played out as if she were living a movie. “I saw you from across the lobby,” Jennifer recalled, “and followed you into the dining room. I was determined to find out who you were .….” She broke off, shaking her head in confusion. “But we’d already met, at the concert.”

“No, we hadn’t met before,” Brian told her. “Not the first time. You just came up to me, introduced yourself, and asked me to dance.”

“You said yes. I was thrilled.”

Brian pulled her into his arms and began to dance with her, as if they were there, right now, at the party.

“You were very charming,” Brian remembered, tilting her head to look at him. “I think we talked until midnight. I told you my entire life story---about growing up in Kentucky and how I ended up in the group-----and it wasn’t until I got back to the hotel that I realized you’d told me next to nothing about yourself.”

“I wanted to kiss you while we were dancing, but we were surrounded by reporters and photographers, so I asked you to have dinner with me the next night instead.”

“I agreed to meet you at Tequilas, the Mexican restaurant on the corner of 7th and 14th.” Brian smiled down at her.

They’d long since stopped dancing, but he still held her in his arms. “You called me Jenn.”

He nodded, his smile fading. “I know.”

“You said I needed a nickname.”

“You said you didn’t care what I called you…”

Jennifer smiled. “So you started calling me Gertrude----until I retracted my statement.” She touched his lips gently with her thumb, tracing them. “All I could think about all night long was how badly I wanted to kiss you.”

“All I could think about was how much I wanted you to tell me about yourself. I liked you a lot. Right from the start. But I wanted you to talk to me. I tried, but you sidestepped all my questions.”

“I knew you wanted something more from me,” she said quietly, “but I don’t----I didn’t----feel comfortable talking about myself, about my past.”

“I would’ve settled for you telling me how you felt.”

“I felt happy. You made me smile, made me feel so warm. And hot. God, I’ve never wanted a man the way I wanted you---the way I still want you. I had this feeling that you were going to walk away from me,” Jennifer whispered. “But I still couldn’t give you what you needed.”

“You gave me what I needed last night.” Brian reached up to touch her barrette. “Was it really that hard to talk to me?”

“No.” She closed her eyes, loving the sensation of his fingers in her hair. “Yes.”

He laughed, and feeling a burst of that now familiar warmth and heat, she reached up to pull his head down to hers. But he stopped her.

“You didn’t want to talk about your parents’ death, but you’ve never let yourself move forward away from it,” Brian pointed out. “Even now. You’re still tied to what happened three years ago.” His eyes were so serious as he gazed down at her. “After all this time their lives are still more important to you than your own.”

Jennifer didn’t speak. What could she possibly say?

The sound of the bathroom door opening made her step back, away from him. She hadn’t liked watching Jenn with Brian in the car. The least she could do was spare her future self a similar sight.

Brian moved toward his room. “I better finish fixing the sheets.”

“I’ll do it,” Jennifer said, turning off the radio. “I’d like a chance to talk to her. Privately. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

Jenn appeared in the hallway, holding on to the frame of the door, propelling herself forward by hopping on her good leg. She was unable to keep from watching Brian as he quietly came down the hall and moved past her.

Jennifer could read so much in the darkness of the other woman’s eyes. Did her own feelings and hunger for Brian show so clearly in her own eyes?

“I’ll be in the living room if you need me,” Brian turned back to say.

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