Chapter 8

Aj looked as if someone had punched him in the stomach. A pained expression clouded his face. "So, you're going to die?" He couldn't believe what she was telling him.

"I have acute lymphocytic leukemia. I was in remission for years, and I thought I beat it but...it came back. I am taking chemotherapy for it, but the disease keeps spreading through my body." She paused before adding, "There is more..."

Aj walked over to the table and sat down. She followed suit and sat in the chair closest to him, holding his hands. " I have kept this deep inside for the last two years, and now...well time is running out and you have to know."

He sat there looking defeated, "I'm listening..."

"You may not rememeber the time we had together but..I do. I have a reminder of that moment every day of my life." She began, "Alex...you have a daughter."

He sat there with a stunned look on his face. "What? We have sex, what 2 years ago? And you're just telling me that I am a father now? What sort of game are you playing here Topaz?"

The tears began to fall down her face again, " I am not playing games with you. I knew that I could never tell you about Kayla back then. You're a Backstreet Boy, you have your career, you're not ready to be a father. How could I just destroy everything you worked so hard for?"

He stood up and walked out of the restaraunt. Topaz ran after him. He was standing on the veranda outside, when she walked up behind him.

"Alex...I had to tell you about this before I left LA. You had to know." She sobbed, inside her heart was breaking. She knew she had hurt him, but there was nothing she could do to take it all back now.

"So is that why you came here Topaz? To fuck up my life? To make me fall for you, so you could tell me all this shit and then die someday? How am I supposed to feel? You tell me that I am a father to a daughter I never even knew about...what do you expect me to do now?"

"I..I don't know what to expect."

His head hurt. How could this be happening to him? He had a daughter. A child he never knew existed until now. "What about my daughter? Does she have any idea who her father is?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Topaz smiled through the tears, "Yes. She's seen countless pictures and articles of you, I have all your cds and she loves your music. She's beautiful Alex, she looks just like you."

Boy how his life had taken a drastic turn in the last few days. It was almost too much for him to swallow. I am a father, he thought to himself. He couldn't bear to look at Topaz, it hurt too much. "I need to be alone, Topaz. I'll drop you off at the motel, but don't try to contact me for a while." He looked down at his feet, speaking barely in a whisper.

"Alright." She sighed, the tears were still coming down and she didn't bother trying to wipe them away. This was killing her, but she knew that she had done the right thing. They walked in silence to where he parked the car, and got in. No words were spoken the whole ride to the motel.

Once inside his motel room, Aj began throwing things across the room. First a shoe, then a pillow, suddenly the room was a huge mess. He didn't care. All he knew was that he loved Topaz, and it hurt. He had a daughter out there somewhere he'd never seen, and it saddened him to think about it. What am I going to do now? He thought aloud. What am I going to do now?

*********

In her own motel room, Topaz laid face down on her bed sobbing into her pillow. She couldn't bare to think of what the future now held for her and Aj, and it scared her. In three days, she would be leaving. Heading back home to have surgery. A surgery that could possibly kill her. She didn't want to think about that. Suddenly she felt very tired. She closed her eyes and drifted into a restless sleep.

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