Rhiannon stared at the wall, not wanting AJ to know she was awake. It would be too hard to explain why she was upset. It didn't work.

"Hey," AJ said softly. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Rhiannon said, stifling her sniffles.

"Ok," he said, not pressing the issue. He hugged her tighter. "But you know you can tell me anything."

Rhiannon nodded. How could she explain to AJ why she was so upset? There was no good way to tell him. She tried to control her breathing, but she shuddered and cried in spite of herself.

"Shhh," AJ said, as he turned her over and kissed her forehead. He wiped her tears away and hugged her close. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder, her body wracked with silent sobs. AJ's hands gently rubbed her back. He didn't know what else to do.

"Please tell me what's wrong. Let me help," he whispered, feeling his own eyes welling up with tears. He never could stand it when people cried around him. He was too sensitive, and he always ended up joining in the sob-fest.

"I was just thinking about... just stuff. My past. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I haven't cried over him in years," she said, wiping her tears away and trying to regain her composure.

"Over who?" AJ asked, feeling the tears run down the sides of his face onto the pillow.

"Ethan. He was my husband," Rhiannon said quietly. AJ nodded, but he was shocked. He had no idea she had been married. Where was her husband?

"Tell me about him," AJ said. "If you want to, that is."

"Maybe it'll help," she said, smiling sadly. "Ethan... God, where do I start? I knew him my whole life. I was his tag-along when I was little. That's what he called me. He was eight years older than I was, and I thought he hung the moon. I was his little shadow from the time I could walk. His mother was our housekeeper, and when he got old enough, he worked for my father around the house doing handy man work. You know, fixing things, helping in the fields when daddy needed him to, that kind of thing. Daddy never had any boys, and Ethan was like a son to him. When I was 14, he asked my father for my hand. He waited for me, even though every girl in town wanted him. He was the sweetest, most gentle man in the world. He worked so hard to make me happy. We never argued, and he never, ever raised his hand to me. You have to understand, back in those days, men weren't always kind to their wives. But Ethan was alway wonderful. He told me every day how much he cherished me. Can you believe that? He cherished me. I mean, can you imagine being cherished? Anyway, he was tall with long, lean muscles, and shiny black hair... just beautiful. He had the most amazing green eyes I've ever seen."

"Sounds like Kevin," AJ said, smiling a little.

"I know. That's what drew me to Kevin at first. He does bear a striking resemblance to Ethan. But their personalities are completely different," Rhiannon laughed.

"What happened to Ethan?"

"He killed himself," Rhiannon said sadly.

"I'm sorry," AJ whispered. "That must have been awful for you."

"It was the worst day of my life. He was my love. I thought the day I buried my children that I would never see another day worse than that, but I was so wrong. Ethan and I were supposed to grow old together. But it wasn't meant to be."

"You had children?" AJ asked quietly.

"Yes. I had three children. Alexander, Rebecca, and Annaliese. They all died."

"God, Rhiannon, I'm so sorry."

"But I survived," she said, smiling sadly. "I survived..."

"How do you deal with that kind of loss?"

"You just do. Everyone leaves at some point. You just have to realize that. Once you realize that nothing is permanent, you can kind of harden your heart. You're prepared, you know? For the day that the one you love isn't there anymore."

AJ hugged her tightly. "I swear I'll never leave you. I know I'm not him, and I could never replace him, but, if you want me, I'm yours."

Rhiannon smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. She knew what he was saying wouldn't ever come to pass, but it was nice to hear it.

*****************************

Kevin made love to Kathleen quickly the first time. His thrusts were hard, urgent. He needed to be close to her... inside her. He needed to feel her warmth. Her body moved against him in response to his thrusts, and she felt tingly and warm all over. As they both reached their climax, Kevin buried his face in her long, dark hair and breathed deeply.

"God, I love you," he said breathlessly. "I love you so much."

"I... love you, too," she said. Kevin looked up and stared at her for a minute, then a smile came over his beautiful face.

"Do you really?"

"You know I do," she said. Her smile was sad. She knew she would have to tell him the truth... just not right now. His eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed for a moment. Damn it. He could tell something was bothering her. She had to think of something else. Nick's words came back to her... it's like trying to tell me not to think about something... She started thinking about sailing... Kevin smiled a little and shook his head.

"Make love to me again," she said softly, wanting to feel him inside her body again. Kevin laughed.

"What do you think I am? A machine?" he asked, kissing her on the nose.

"Yep. A big, gorgeous machine. Make love to me, Kevin," she said, smiling.

Kevin kissed her deeply, his tongue probing between her teeth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, then ran her hands down his well-muscled back. He entered her again, his hardness overwhelming her. She arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist. He made love to her this time... slowly, savoring the feelings and the emotions he was feeling. He loved her... so much.

Later, as they lay together, intertwined in the sheets, Kathleen played with Kevin's long hair.

"Don't you ever cut this off," she said absentmindedly.

"Ok," he said, laughing. "So you like the long hair?"

"Oh yeah. Love the long hair," she said kissing the top of his head. He snuggled against her, holding her around the waist.

"I don't ever wanna move from this spot," he murmured.

"Me either. Let's just stay naked in bed forever."

"Sounds good to me," he laughed, kissing her neck.

"Kevin," she said, turning serious, "what would you do if something happened to me?"

"What kind of question is that?" he laughed. "That's such a woman thing to ask. What would you do if I died? What would you do if I was horribly disfigured in an accident? Why do women always ask questions like that?"

"Never mind," Kathleen muttered.

"Kathleen," he said, looking into her eyes, amused, "if anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably curl up in a cave somewhere and die. I don't wanna think about that, though. I don't even wanna consider the possibility that anything could ever happen to you, ok?"

"Ok," she said, yawning.

"Sleepy?"

"Exhausted. Nick kept me up most of the night last night, then he whined most of the day today. Is this what having a baby is like?" Kathleen asked, snuggling into Kevin's embrace.

"I'm sorry I stuck you with Nick detail. But I really appreciate it. I've looked after him until now. I know he's a pain in the ass."

"No, I really don't mind," she said, smiling up at him. "He is a pain in the ass, but I do like him a lot. He's funny, and he's sweet. And... don't tell him this... but I kind of like petting him."

Kevin laughed. "I knew it! You've got a crush on Nick!"

"I do not!" Kathleen said, indignantly. "I just like the way his hair feels. It's soft. And I like to baby him. I can see why you guys have been doing it for so long."

"I know what you mean," Kevin said. "Just don't leave me for Nick."

"Never," she replied, kissing his cheek. "Now I've got to get some sleep, but I guess I should go take care of Nick, shouldn't I?"

"Nah. He's a big boy. He can take care of himself. If he gets too sick during the night, Rhiannon and AJ are there. Oh, by the way, you're sleeping with me tonight."

Kathleen smiled. She had never actually slept in Kevin's arms all night before. She cuddled up close and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat was so slow... she had almost forgotten what he was. But this brought it all crashing back...

"I love you," Kevin whispered. "Don't ever leave me."

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