chapter 7

MAY 2001

The first leg of the tour ended, and it was time to take a well deserved break. All the guys were exhausted, and they needed a vacation. Kevin was hungry. He hadn't fed in two days, and he was getting very weak. He had left Rhiannon a few days earlier. He had gone into hysterics when one of his victims had accidentally died. He had actually killed someone. Somebody who didn't really deserve to die. Rhiannon had tried to comfort him, but he had pushed her away. He screamed at her and told her he hated her. He had cursed her for making him into a monster. He had called her a monster, slapped her face, and told her he wished she were dead. After he left, he knew he had been wrong. He had asked for the gift, and Rhiannon had warned him he would regret it. He should have just let himself die. She had just given him what he asked for. But he didn't know what he was asking for at the time. Kevin missed her so much. He wanted so badly to go to her house and let her hold him... to stroke him like she always did when he was upset. He knew she probably hated him now. He had been so cruel to her. He had said such terrible things to her. He had seen the hurt in her eyes, and it was eating away at him. Kevin sat in the living room of AJ's house, watching a movie. The glare from the television was hurting his eyes, but he couldn't divert his attention. He had to think of something besides Rhiannon, or he would go crazy. He couldn't sit still anymore. He had to do something, but he didn't know what. His conscience wouldn't let him hunt, therefore feeding was out. But then again, he knew if he didn't he would lose all of his strength and he might not get it back. He stood up and walked around the room, looking at the pictures on AJ's mantle. He grabbed AJ's cigarette out of the ashtray and took a long draw. Shit. What was he doing? He didn't even smoke. But he had to do something with his hands or he was afraid he might start destroying things.

"Look at you. You're a mess. You're pale. You're weak. You're pacing around like an animal. You're stealing my smokes. Kev, be straight with me, man. Are you doin' drugs?" AJ asked, his brow furrowing with concern.

"Drugs? Hell no. I wish it were that simple," Kevin laughed bitterly, flopping down on the sofa. He grabbed AJ's sunglasses off the coffee table and put them on. The light was beginning to hurt his eyes even more.

"Tell me," AJ said gently. "What's been bothering you? You're not yourself anymore. We never see you anymore. Where's Rhiannon. Does this have anything to do with her?"

"AJ, just stop asking questions, ok? You don't want to know my problems. My problems are so far out there, you'd never be able to understand them."

"Try me."

"No," Kevin said, the flat tone of his voice adding a note of finality to his answer.

"Kev," AJ pleaded.

"No."

"Ok. If you won't tell me the truth, you know I'm going to assume the worst. I'm going to assume you're smoking crack and shooting heroin," AJ said, a slight smile on his face. "I'm going to assume you're selling your body on the streetcorner and in truckstops to desperate losers to get money to pay for it."

"You're funny. Really funny. If I was smoking crack or shooting heroin, don't you think I'd have the money to pay for it?" Kevin said irritably.

"Well, I guess so. But I told you I was going to assume the worst. Lemme see your arms."

"AJ," Kevin said, pulling the sunglasses down and looking into AJ's eyes, "don't fuck with me, ok? I'm not in the mood. I'm only going to tell you this once. Stop asking questions. You don't want to know my problem, ok? It's one of those things that you're just gonna have to take my word on. You DON'T wanna know. Now drop the subject before you really start to piss me off."

AJ nodded. He was worried. Very worried. He had never seen Kevin so disheveled. Kevin, who was always the picture of organization and control, was falling apart.

Kevin stared at AJ. He could feel the blood flowing through AJ's veins. Young blood. Hot. Throbbing. He could hear it. Pulsing. Flowing. Kevin felt the spasms of pain beginning to form in his stomach. He closed his eyes to block out the sight of AJ's tanned skin, that protruding vein on the side of AJ's neck. But it didn't help. He could FEEL AJ. He could feel the warmth his body was giving off. It was driving Kevin crazy. It was all he could do to control himself. His concentration was intrerruped by Brian.

"Hey guys," Brian said, walking in the front door. "What's up?"

"Nothing," AJ said. "Kevin's smoking crack and shooting heroin. He may even be doing speedballs. Who the fuck knows? But other than that, everything's perfect."

"Shut up, AJ," Kevin growled.

"Sorry," AJ replied, rolling his eyes. "But you're a freak, therefore I'm leaving." AJ got up, shot Kevin a nasty look, and walked out of the room. Brian and Kevin were left all alone for the first time in months.

"Cuz, what's wrong with you?" Brian asked softly. "You look terrible."

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Kevin screamed. He opened his eyes and looked at Brian. A feeling of barely controlled rage was overtaking his body. He was losing it. He knew if he didn't get out of the room immediately, he would massacre his cousin. Kevin stomped out of the house and got into his car. He drove as fast as he could... back to Rhiannon. He couldn't stand it any longer. He needed her to comfort him. He couldn't breathe, and he knew he was panicking again. He hadn't done that since the first night she made him. He felt he would die without her. He ran into the house.

"Rhiannon!" he yelled, searching all the rooms. She was nowhere to be found. Stephen walked into the kitchen, lavender tinted sunglasses covering his gorgeous eyes.

"What's wrong, Kentucky?" he asked, smiling. "You look like shit."

"Where's Rhiannon?" Kevin asked breathlessly.

"She's out. You need to feed, country boy. You're weak." There was actually a bit of concern on Stephen's face when he spoke to Kevin.

Kevin sat down at the kitchen table and covered his face with his hands. He couldn't stand this. The feeling of desperation was overwhelming him. He had to find her. She was the other part of him, and without her, he wasn't complete.

"Kevin," Stephen said, placing his hand on Kevin's shoulder, "come with me. We'll find her. I know how attached you are to her. Personally, I can't understand it, but I can see it. And we'll find you something to perk you up while we're out."

Kevin nodded slowly. He was too tired to protest. Stephen drove his new convertible Porsche around the city. They pulled up to a red light, and Kevin noticed a young hooker pacing back and forth under a street light. Stephen noticed her, too, and smiled. Dinner was served...

An hour later, Kevin was feeling much better. The hooker's blood was coursing through his veins, giving him a warm, slightly tipsy feeling. He glanced in the mirror. His skin now had color in it, and his eyes weren't dead anymore. He reclined the seat and let Stephen chauffer him around. They pulled into the parking lot of Le Chat Noir, and Kevin saw Rhiannon's car parked right up front. He smiled. When he and Stephen entered, the eyes of just about every woman in the place were on them. Two beautiful men... Kevin found Rhiannon at their regular booth in the back of the club. She had on dark sunglasses and wore no smile on her face. When she saw him, she took a deep breath, preparing for another barrage of horrible insults. But the barrage didn't come. Kevin held out his hand to her. She slid out of the booth, and he took her in his arms, holding her tight.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear. "I am so, so sorry."

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