Wonderland 3

prologue

Since being in Wonderland with my Hatter he had helped me grow. He could see my inner self and make me see it as well. He did this through himself and the other four he had introduced and brought to me at times . It was like whenever I was seeking answers I would go exploring in Wonderland and the one of them I needed the most would appear through him. I couldn't explain something I did not fully understand. I didn't understand how exactly he did it. But I knew I was better for being with these people he had created for me. It was like I was with him, but with them at the same time whenever I encountered one of them. Each one was a part of my Hatter and now a part of me. I loved each one of them. They all had a part of my heart now.

One night as I lay in my Hatters arms, he ask me to tell him what I truly thought of each of them. I felt he knew that already for it often seemed he could read my mind at times. But he said he wanted to hear me explain my feelings to him in words, not thoughts. So I tried. These were my thoughts about each one as I tried to explain my feelings in words to my Hatter as he listened. All together they showed him my feelings of love for him.

The Hatter / my One - all of my life's seasons

The Wise One - my Winters of life.

He was the first after my Hatter that I had encountered when I came back to Wonderland. He had made quite an impression on me. Everything from his height that towered over me to his green eyes made me stop in my tracks when I first saw him. There was also an inner intenseness and at the same time a peace about him that made me want to both please and obey him without having to question or worry about what was asked of me . He was one of the five I still lacked confidence with and I found myself worrying that I might not be able to live up to what he wanted or expected.
But I sensed he was one I could learn from and know he would steer me in the right direction if I became lost along the way. He was the one who first touched me physically and emotionally in a way I had never experienced before. My Wise One had become my teacher; my mentor; my muse. Intelligent and wise he could always help me find answers. Yet he was one of the five I had not fully experienced yet. I knew we would soon become lovers as well and I marveled at the thought of what it would be like; but at the same time I hoped I would not disappoint him. His world of greenery showed steady and timeless growth of self - like his trees and vines that grow year after year. They usually survive the Winters of life.. I hoped I could reach that point where I could feel that maturity and inner confidence he had.

The Youthful One - my Springs.

AAWWW my Youthful one. He is like the energy and freshness of a new relationship. When you first fall in love. You can't help but smile and feel good all the time. You love every moment you spend with them and are always ready for more. The anticipation and the first beginnings of making love. Experiences you only will have once and will always remember. Memories you will want to visit again and again. The Springs of life.

This one was the second person I had made love with . My Hatter being the first. The Youthful one had been the first of the others. I always looked forward to time I could spend with him in his world of young living creatures and beautiful growing things. They would always make me smile and feel pleasure when sadness or confusion tried to creep and set in.

The Soulful One- my Falls.

The Soulful one can see my inner self. Looking through the dark cave of reaching even the darkest sides of myself that I often push aside or hide. I always felt safe in his strong arms - but at the same time I never knew for sure what to expect from him. He is the surprises of life!
It was through him I came to think and do things I thought not possible before. Sometimes a little of the bad along with the good makes life a lot more interesting. Gives us a drive; a push needed. When I met him the attraction to him was strong and confusing at the same time. Like when you want something you know you don't need, but want it anyway. Or when you want something but look for someone or something else to do it for you. It usually works out when you finally are honest with yourself and feelings. Doing something about it yourself instead of just waiting for someone else to.

It was through my Soulful One I learned to truly make love to my Hatter. Love is giving as well as taking. Learning when to wait and when to act. Both have wants and desires. Seeking those out can be fun, moving, and passionate; even when we are fearful or hesitate about what our lover thinks or wants. Be open and honest - trusting your feelings and his to guide you -even when the times seem damp and darker through our Falls of life.

the Heavenly One-my Summers

Think back when you were a child. The freshness and purity of emotions be they good or bad. The taking a deep breath of a fresh summer morning air. When I am with the Heavenly One it is like I feel the warmth of the sun all around me. The sun heals and comforts. Any coldness or pain is taken away.

My Heavenly One is like the pure love in life. My comforter and confidant. I had touched this with my Hatter. But the Heavenly One is the other one of the five I had not fully experienced completely yet. I wondered when I would become a lover to this one. I felt it would be pure ecstasy. Like letting the warmth of the Summers sun take you completely over. Becoming one with it. I knew there was something special in store with this one. I waited with eager anticipation for the right time to find out what it would be.