Dear Journal

Written By: Me (Brittany)

Entry #1 - Entry #2

- Entry #1 -

Dear Journal,

Well, this is my first entry ever. One of probably many more. I think this is weird. Ya know? I feel like I'm talking to myself here. Even when I address it as 'Dear Journal' You're not real. You're a piece of paper. Or many pieces of paper bounded together. I guess I'm writing in here because I'm hoping it'll help clear my mind. Especially with all the stuff I do a day writing in here or in you will be my way of clearing my head. My time to be alone with my thoughts...on paper.

Anyways, even though I know you don't care I'll start off with the basics about myself. My name is Joshua Scott Chasez. Known to the world as JC Chasez. To my parents and childhood friends from before I became famous on the Mickey Mouse Club as Josh. Actually the Mickey Mouse Club is when people started calling me JC because there was already another Josh on the show. I'm currently 25 years old. My birthday is August 8. I was born in 1976. To my parents. Karen and Roy Chasez. I am the oldest of 3 kids. I have a younger sister Heather who is 23 and a younger brother Tyler who is 19.

I grew up in Bowie, Maryland. Around the age of 13 or 14 I moved down to Orlando, Florida with my Mom. My dad stayed behind to take care of my brother and sister. We moved because I got a call saying that I made the Mickey Mouse Club. I was excited to say the least. I only auditioned because my friend dared me too. I remember how nervous I was right before I auditioned. I would pretend that I didn't care at all if I made it or not, but secretly I wished I would make it.

I remember the night I found out I got the call saying I made the show. It was around 10 at night and everyone in my house was getting ready to go to bed when the phone rang. I ran down the stairs in my underwear. I heard 'You got the gig man' I went 'Ahhhhhh' Threw the phone down and ran down the street in my underwear. It was February, there was snow on the ground, and I ran all the way to my best friend Casey's house in a t-shirt, my underwear, and bare feet. I knocked on the door and woke him: 'Dude!! I'm gonna be on TV!' I was 13 at the time. That's probably my favorite childhood memory.

So I did the show. After 2 years a few new kids came onto the show. I was then 15 and the youngest person on our set were actually 2 people. Justin Randall Timberlake and Britney Spears. They were both 10 at the time. Justin was from Memphis, Tennessee. They were both really cool. Despite the age difference me and Justin became best friends. Justin and Britney dated. Then after 2 more years the show got cancelled. I had been on it for 4 years and Justin and Britney had been on for 2. I was then 17. Justin and Britney were 12.

All the kids from the Mickey Mouse Club all went to the same high school. Or at least we did before the show got cancelled. It was called Dr. Phillips High School. There I met a kid named Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr. He at the time when the Mickey Mouse Club got cancelled was 16 years old. He was cool. We became friends when I first got on the Mickey Mouse Club. Joey wasn't in the Mickey Mouse Club, but he was or at least would later be part of a group called The Big Guys. Joey had moved to Florida when he was 13. He moved there with his whole family from Brooklyn, New York.

Well, for now that's all I have time to write. I will continue about my life in my next entry. It's nice to be able to share most of my life story without being interrupted or being asked questions. I don't feel like I have to tell you. But it's refreshing to just say what I want to say and have no one criticize me or anything.

Ok, well now I really gotta stop writing. I'll write more later!

Josh (a.k.a. JC)

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Dear Journal

- Entry #2 -

Dear Journal,

Ok. Hey well I got cut short last time I wrote in here. Which was yesterday. So now I'm gonna write some more. Although you're a piece of paper so why the hell would you care? Alright I guess I'll continue writing from where I left off about my past and how I got where I am today, and about my life, and all that good stuff. Can ya feel my excitement?

Ok. So I became friends with Joey. Or at least friends with him in school. I never hung out with him out of school. I lost touch with him after the Mickey Mouse Club got cancelled.

Justin and I wrote to each other and called each other once in a while just to see what's up and stuff. Justin stayed in Florida and at first I went back home to Maryland and then eventually I moved to Los Angeles and I would sing on demos for people and back up. See when I did the Mickey Mouse Club, I found my passion in life. I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. So I lived in LA for a few months and eventually I got a phone call that would change my life forever.

I was 19. Summer was almost over and I got a call from Justin. I hadn't talked to the kid in like a few months so I was just like ok. Well it turns out Justin and some other guys were starting a vocal group and he wanted me to go down and join the group. So of course I went back down to Florida and there I met up with Justin and this guy Chris.

Now Chris was 24 and he acted like he was younger than me. Maybe younger than Justin's age of 14. So we sang together and we knew something was missing.

One night we were out at a club and we saw Joey. So we all went up to talk to him about starting a group and he decided to join us. It was funny though cause I knew him from school and Chris knew him from working at Universal Studios. Oh I forgot to tell ya how Chris and Justin met. Basically Chris knew Justin because they'd been to a lot of the same auditions for groups and eventually called Justin up.

So there was now me, Chris, Justin, and Joey. We needed a bass singer. There was this one guy who was in the group named Jason but he quit cause he didn't think we were ever going to make it.

Justin called his vocal coach back in Tennessee and asked him if he knew of anyone who could sing bass and might be interested in joining our little group. He gave us the name of this kid James Lance Bass. So Justin called James and the poor kid thought it was a joke and it was the night of his homecoming. Luckily James decided to fly down from Clinton, Mississippi the next day with his mom to check this thing out.

So when we first sang together we KNEW that was the final group. Our voices just blended together so well. So James moved down to Florida and we all started practicing in this old warehouse during the day and then at night we would go to bars and clubs and force our acapella down peoples throats while they were trying to eat.

Eventually we started to do schools and the people really liked us. The whole time we were still trying to get a record deal. Oh yeah and James became known to us as Lance and also to the rest of the world (eventually). Ok, So eventually we got a record deal with RCA records and our manager was Lou Pearlman (damn bastard! more on that later). We went over to Europe to record our first CD. By then I was 20, Justin was 15, Lance was 17, Joey was 19, and Chris was 25. The first song we recorded was 'I Want You Back' Have you heard of it?

We became a HUGE hit over is Europe and eventually we came home to release our debut CD over here in the U.S. It was weird at first. Over in Europe we'd get mobbed by fans and people ALWAYS asking us for our autographs. But when we came home we were nobodies and no one ever asked for an autograph. We weren't famous. We were just us.

We released our first song I Want You Back and it did pretty good. Then we release Tearing Up My Heart and we just BLEW UP!! We were everywhere. By then I was 21, Justin 16, Lance 18, Joey 20, Chris 26. Yep that's when everything began. We sold altogether NOW 10 million albums. I think. So we started making appearances, performing, photo shoots, everything. We were every where. We went on with Janet Jackson (damn she hot) for her Velvet Rope Tour as an opening act.

People would boo us when we first got on stage but by the end of our 5 or 6 song set we had them man. Next we went on to do our own tour called the "Ain't No Stopping Us Now Tour." THAT was fun. That's something I'll never forget. It was like we never knew what to expect each day and it was all so new. So many fans and stuff. It was just like WOAH!

A year and a half later when we were working on our 2nd album we found out that Lou had been stealing or taking money from us. So we ended up in court because of that and also so we could get away from RCA and go over to JIVE Records so we could have more creative control on our music and not be told what we have to do.

That whole court thing was hard on us man. There were days when the guys and I just wanted to call it quits and give up. Oh yeah. There's something else I forgot to mention. The guys they're like my brothers. Seriously. They are my best friends and I love them like they're my brothers. We're all so different yet we are all best friends. So anyways we didn't quit or give up and in the end we won.

We signed with JIVE and got creative control over our music. I produced a lot of the tracks off that album and wrote or co-wrote songs on the album along with Justin. See I love the studio. I love producing, writing, singing, and playing (with instruments, I play keyboard, guitar, and a little drums even though we dance)music. The studio is like my home. If I could I would just live in there for days, weeks, or even months at a time.

So by this time I was 23. Yep that's when things got even crazier when the guys and I thought it could never happen. We released our first single off the album called "Bye Bye Bye" People went CRAZY over it. Like you wouldn't believe. WOW!! So then we released our 2nd album 'No Strings Attached' I will never forget how excited me and the guys were when we found out our album sold 1.1 million copies in the first day and 2.4 million copies in the first week. 2.4 million man. Wow. We now hold the record for the most albums sold in one week and one day.

We were getting onto a plane when our phones rang and that's when we found out how many albums we sold. We stated running around giving EVERYONE in sight hugs and we just basically went nuts. That was one of the best days of my life.

So then we started our 2nd tour the "No Strings Attached Tour" We played stadiums and arenas. STADIUMS. I never ever thought we would be that big. But little did I know we would just get bigger.

So we continued doing our usual appearances, photo shoots, interviews, and everything else. In January we went to work on our 3rd album. I was then 24. That album took us so long to do. Justin and I ended up writing 11 out of 13 of the tracks and producing them. Lance and Joey were also working on filming a movie, Justin spent time with his girlfriend, and Chris just did his clothing line (yes he has his own clothing line). And me well I just worked on producing for other people.

Our first single off that album was "Pop" which was a big hit. On July 24, our 3rd album "Celebrity" (no we don't think of ourselves like that. We're making FUN of ourselves). Celebrity sold 1 million copies in the first day and 1.8 or 1.9 million in the first week. We now hold for #1 and #2 record for most albums sold in a week.

A few days later I turned 25. We were in the middle of an ALL STADIUM tour!! We had 81 traveling semi's w/ us. The biggest tour in the history of pop music and stuff. So then we got to perform with Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. He's the coolest. I was seriously star struck when I met him. I officially know how all our fans feel when they meet their favorite celebrities.

So all that leads up to where I am today. On a vacation. My first vacation in like 2 years. The guys and I have all gone somewhere for vacation. Joey's on vacation with his baby daughter Brianna and girlfriend, Chris is working on FuMan Skeeto (his clothing line), Lance is filming another movie, Justin is off vacations with his girlfriend, family, friends, and me, well I decided to go to a place I have missed more than anything. HOME. I missed being home and not having to worry about doing stuff. So the date is now the 28 of September the year 2001 and I am home.

So there's my story on how I got into the "World's Biggest Band" NSYNC. For now I will go watch TV or perhaps I will go visit an old friend of mine who I haven't spoken to in a long time. Since she broke my heart when I was 20. I think I'll go visit Nikki. I'll tell ya how well that goes over when ever I get around to writing in here again.

Josh (aka JC)

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Dear Journal

- Entry #3 -

Dear Journal,

Hey!!! I haven't written in here for like 3 days. I've been spending ALL my spare time with Nikki. So I need to tell you how things went. Also exactly what happened between me and Nikki 5 years ago.

Alright. This whole thing started back in the days of the Mickey Mouse Club. Nikki was also on the show with me. When we were 15 we started dating. We dated for about 5 years. Of course like any other couple we had a few break ups here and there. Over the normal dumb things or just plain wanting to see other people and explore our options.

When I was 20 and we went over to Europe for the first time is when everything went down. While I was over there of course I was lonely but I never cheated on her in any way, shape, or form. When I came back I could tell something was wrong with Nikki. After awhile she finally told me what was wrong. It was the last thing in the world I would have ever expected.

I found out that she couldn't deal with me being away all the time and she cheated on me. She apologized over and over the whole time in tears. I forgave her because in the back of my mind I knew something like that would probably happen.

Even though I forgave her my heart never did. It felt like my heart had been ripped out again and again when she told me. I had loved her more than anything else in the world. So because of trust issues we eventually broke up. Ever since then I've had dead end relationships because if the one person I thought I could trust with my life cheated on me why should I trust anyone else? I have never really been able to trust anyone else since then.

Basically I hadn't really spoken to Nikki since then. Well that is until the other day. God she looked beautiful. She was surprised to say the least to see me. She still keeps apologizing for cheating on me all those years ago. She hasn't dated since then because she is too ashamed of herself and her actions to see anyone else.

So basically the other day and the past few days we've been talking everything over. I have so much fun when I'm with her. When I'm with her I don't feel like I'm JC Chasez of NSYNC. I feel like a normal person again. She always did have that effect on me.

You know I caught myself thinking about possibly dating her again. Ya know? Kinda like a second try. What do you think I should do?

I mean when I saw her the other day for the first time in 5 years I fell in love with her all over again. Yep I never really got over her. As hard as I tried to I just could never do it.

So for the past few days we've just been hanging out. The first day we just talked the whole time. The next day we decided to re-live some childhood memories and went to Disney World. That was a blast. Yesterday we just stayed in all day and watched movies together. Today we went to the mall and to the park. I just feel so happy lately. A lot happier than I have felt in a long time ago.

See when we broke up I felt like a part of me had died. I didn't feel whole. I felt like half of me was missing. She is my other half. But I think I'm going to spend the rest of the month I have off hanging out with Nikki and maybe in that time something will happen. Maybe not. We'll see. Only time will tell. So I will write in here whenever I get around to it.

Josh (a.k.a. JC)

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Dear Journal

- Entry #4 -

Dear Journal,

Wow!! It's been a little over a month since I last wrote in here. I'm back on another tour with the guys and I'm in my bunk at the moment. I love touring. Seeing all the fans and performing every night. Originally our break that we had we were supposed to be touring over in Europe since we've kind of neglected those fans. But due to scheduling problems we got a break instead.

Anyways. Things are going GREAT between me and Nikki. So great in fact that we have decided to give dating another try. I just hope that she doesn't cheat on me again.

This may have been a stupid decision on my part. Especially if she does cheat on me again I don't think I'll be able to take all that pain again. I barely survived last time. If it weren't for the guys and my family I probably would have stopped talking to people. I actually did try to do that but it didn't work.

So we've been on tour for about 2 weeks now and Nikki is coming out in another 2 weeks or so. We've probably been dating again for about 3 weeks maybe. I don't really know. The vacation that the guys and I got was exactly what we all needed. We were able to just sit back, clear our minds, and just be ourselves for a while.

See now that I'm seeing Nikki again I also have to be very careful not to cheat on her. Cause when I go to parties and get a little drunk the temptations are always there and it's harder to not give in to the temptation when you're drunk than when you're actually sober.

The guys will help me though. They won't let me give into the temptations. I also have to help Joey to make sure he doesn't do anything too stupid. The Flirt of the group, the Ladies Man, is now a dad and he asked his girlfriend to marry him over our vacation.

I'm excited for them. They're perfect for each other. They've been together since high school. They used to have an on again off again relationship but I guess he's finally ready to settle down. Man I never thought Joey would be the first one out of all of us to get married or have a kid. I mean isn't he the one that's afraid of making a commitment and here he is getting married? I guess in time we all grow up and have to face our fears. I always thought Lance would be the first one to settle down. That dude's got his life more together than the rest of us half the time.

Someday I want a family. I want to have a few kids. I really want a little girl. If things continue to go good with me and Nikki maybe someday we'll get married and start our own family. I know she wants to have kids. Ever since we were teenagers I've been able to see my future with her in the picture. We would get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.

5 years ago that dream was shattered. But now it's slowly being put back together again. Slowly that dream of mine, actually it was a dream that we both had, is being put back together with a few different things. My career and her career as a dolphin trainer at Sea World.

I think that maybe I'll be the next one to get married. Or maybe Justin. Lance well he's single and says he's too busy to have any type of relationship. Chris, poor Chris, he and his girlfriend of 2 1/2 years have broken up. I can tell it's really bothering him although he just plays it off. I wish I could help him like he helped me when me and Nikki broke up. But I don't know how. All I know is how to be a good friend to him and support any decisions he makes and stuff like that. I just hope that's enough.

Well anyways I just heard Justin call my name. I think we're at our next stop. Because we're on tour and it's so crazy around here I don't know when I'll be able to write in here again. It might be a long time. Anyways adios off to another performance!!!!!

Josh (aka JC)

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