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Another thing that I’ve noticed is that every band has a section picked out to make fun of or to destroy all together. And over the past four years, I’ve noticed that our band has one as well. No, it’s not the trumpets. Sure they have driven some people mad and such, but no, it’s not the trumpets. The trombones? No, no, not the trombones. They have the only task of making other sections angry at them, so it can’t be the trombones. And the woodwinds don’t have enough man power, if you know what I mean. So that leaves us with…none other that the percussion. The drumline, for as long as I’ve known, is all about slamming each other and anyone else who dares to bother them. They are the ones who get slammed more often than any other section in the band. Just think about it. Who always gets into trouble for being late to stuff? Who always gets into trouble for mouthing off the band directors? It is the drumline, and they will always be there to slam and to be slammed. It’s the way of life…
2.They think that they rule the band because they’ve got two pieces of wood in their hands and they swear to god that they know how to use them.
3.They like to make twinkies explode by throwing them across a hotel room that is hundreds of miles away.
4.If they get mad, they throw drumsticks.
5.If they are happy, they throw drumsticks.
6.They play as loud as they possibly can.
7.They enjoy doing double rim shots while standing next to unsuspecting people, especially if they are sleeping in jazz band class.
8.Drummers are easily pissed off.
9.When the band slows down, the drummers speed up.
10.When the band speeds up, the drummers still speed up.
11.They enjoy getting security called on them as much as possible.
12.Most drummers evolved from skateboarding.
13.They constantly get into trouble.
14.When it’s time to learn charts, they just lay on the grass and try to guess the shapes of clouds.
15.They make “dutting” noises when marking time.
16.When they stand at attention, they make various animal noises with the tubas.
17.They make a big deal about…well, everything!
18.They don’t usually get along with the flags.
19.Their minds are still on marching band, even though concert band has started.
20.They will get up in the early hours of the morning to bang on drums.
21.If you anger them at a band competition, they go on a poking frenzy.
22.They make up drum cadences with their mouths when they walk down the hall together.
23.They stay up way too late writing two or three page drum solos.
24.They spend hours upon hours watching drumline parking lot videos.
25.They spend hours watching their own drumline parking lot video.
26.If they see another drummer playing at a concert or marching band competition, they suddenly have the urge to “show him up”.
27.They always have very interesting conversations with tuba players.
28.They decide to have drum battles in the oddest of places.
29.They spend hours looking at DCI videos, trying to learn the visuals.
30.When they walk by each other, they still make “dutting” noises.
31.They like to go into Wal-mart and make loud laughing noises loud enough for everyone to hear.
32.They like to go to stores and ride in the “old people” carts.
33.They like shopping carts way too much.
34.The words “stop playing” mean absolutely nothing to them.
35.They aren’t happy unless they get kicked out of band.
36.They’ve seen Robin Williams Live 2002 way too much.
37.They believe that a drumset is the holy grail of band.
38.They still think that they know how to use drumsticks.
39.They make up names to call the little percussion instruments.
40.They have too many issues to count.
41.They rarely ever sleep.
42.They think that everyone around them needs help and that they don’t.
43.They believe that they are invincible.
44.They still throw drumsticks, no matter what mood they are in.
45.They also believe that too many “faries” roam the earth.
46.They believe that going to psychology class is to become another Kenny Derrick.
47.They are always acting stupid.
48.They walk up behind people and hit them in the back of their heads as hard as they can.
49.They think the movies “Drumline” and “Half-Baked” are somehow in the same category of importance as winning the lottery.
50.They like to play with lighters with tall, colorful flames.
51.They sometimes take pictures of useless stuff, like STORE SIGNS.
52.They do the exact opposite as everyone asks.
53.Car rides with them are always very, very interesting.
