1. "When you hear the tone, the time will be exactly 2000 AD." Mel Blanc, sound bite from THE OLD GREY HARE (1944)
2. Nat King Cole, syndicated DJ show, intro #1 (1961)
3. EZIO PINZA, supposedly accompanied by The Budapest String Quartet, favors us with "SONG OF THE SUMMERTIME" (?)
4. JERRY COLONNA gives out with, of all things, a quasi-R&B rendition of "EBB TIDE" (?)
5. Frank Sinatra introduces the next selection
6. "WHERE OR WHEN" FRANK SINATRA and Bill Miller, piano, breakdown take (1956)
7. "Singing is the lowest form of communication!" Homer Simpson sound bite.
8. "NIGHT AND DAY" BING CROSBY, breakdown take (1944?), probably the most profane Crosby breakdown ever... He gets through a whole chorus and then.... Oh Father O'Malley!
9. ETHEL MERMAN, with a brief assist from JIMMY DURANTE, introduction to "It's All Yours," from a 1939 radio broadcast of scenes and songs from Stars In Your Eyes. "Climb on that harpsichord and beat it out!"
10. Master ELI BASSE and his Southern Negro Quartette perform "NUMBER FOUR HOOMINTASH LANE," a song of The Old South and The Old Southern Shtetls, you all. (Late '40s?)
11. DEBROY SOMERS AND HIS ORCHESTRA play "KICK IN THE PANTS" (from ) vHarry Bentley, with laughing trumpets (1934)
12. THE THREE STOOGES ALPHABET SONG "BI-I-BI" (as heard in VIOLENT IS THE WORD FOR CARRIE and more recently in THE FORBIDDEN ZONE) played by BOB CHESTER AND HIS ORCHESTER, vDolores O'Neill and the band (1940)13. The wildest version of "THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM" that you will ever hear, sung by LOUIS PRIMA (circa 1967).
14. "SING SOMETHING SIMPLE" [A brilliant song by Herman "As Time Goes By" Hupfeld] LEO REISMAN AND HIS ORCHESTRA, vFrank Luther (1930) "Who cares about the love life of a clam?"
15. "MUSIC TO SHAVE BY" featuring LOUIS ARMSTRONG ("The Offenbach of the open horn"), BING CROSBY, ROSEMARY CLOONEY and THE HI-LOs. (1956?)
16. JIM DAVIDSON AND THE ABC DANCE ORCHESTRA, Australia's finest dance band, plays "ALONG THE ROAD TO GUNDAGAI" vDick Cranburne and ensemble (1937). "Things is pretty crook!"

Animal Antics segment:

17. "THE DUCK'S YAS-YAS" EDDIE JACKSON AND HIS GEORGIA CRACKERS, v___ (1932)
18. "PUSSY" HARRY ROY AND HIS BAT CLUB BOYS, vBill Currie and Harry Roy (second vocal chorus) (1934)
19. "EXPERIMENTS WITH MICE" JOHNNY DANKWORTH AND HIS ORCHESTRA, narrated by Mr. Dankworth (1954?) Introducing "Theme For A Trio Of Sightless Rodents."

20. DEAN MARTIN and LINE RENAUD (who?) entreat us all to "RELAX-AY VOUS" in ersatz French, you all (1952?)
21. MISS DODY GOODMAN sings "SOMEONE'S BEEN SENDING ME FLOWERS" (from The Shoestring Revue)

A tribute to those Wonderful People, The Nazis:

22. close enough: DREIGROSCHENOPER selection, including "Useless Song" and "Mack The Knife" ala Fletcher Henderson, THE HALLER REVUE ORCHESTRA, (Berlin circa 1930)
23. "THEME FROM 'DAD'S ARMY'" ("WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDDING, MR. HITLER?") Bud Flanagan (early '70s?)

24. variations on "TEA FOR TWO" by THE JOE MOONEY TRIO (1946), because I long for oolong.

16 Least Requested songs Department
(Three slightly cheesy songs by three great singers)
25. "CINNAMON SINNER" (from The Girl Can't Help It) sung by Tony Bennett (1956?)
26. "RICKETY RACKETY RENDEZVOUS" which is not even the worst song that DORIS DAY ever sung. (195_)
27. "BYE BYE" (vocal version of "PETER GUNN THEME") a very campy lyric to a classic Mancini crime theme (1964)

"Let's Go South of the Border and Get Laid" Department

28. "SH'BOOM" The Crew Cuts' hit as sung in Spanish by THE TRIO LAS FLAMINGOS, Los Angeles (1955)
29. "SPANISH" by JEAN MALIN and his Smart Orchestra, the originally gender-bender superstar (1930, believe it or not)
30. LOUIS PRIMA (again!) sings and plays THE COFFEE SONG (Copacabana Revue of 1946), with additional lyrics not heard in either of Sinatra's two recordings of this song.

"Swamp Girl meets Wolf Boy" department

31. Nat King Cole, syndicated DJ show, intro #2 (1961)
32. "SWAMP GIRL" HERB JEFFRIES (c1950)
33. "WOLF BOY" MARTHA RAYE (c1947)
You've got to hear 'em to believe 'em - two hysterically bad songs more or less out of the same mold as "Nature Boy."

34. Master STAN DANIELS performs his recitation, "OY! MAN RIVER" (c1974)
35. Nat King Cole, syndicated DJ show, intro #2 (1961)
36. BUGS BUNNY AND THE STAFF AT CAPITOL RECORDS WISH ALL THE RECORD DEALERS A MERRY CHRISTMAS, 1949 (Mel Blanc as Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam & Wood Woodpecker, unknown "blues & rhythm" singer who sounds a little like Johnny Mercer) apologies for substandard sound quality. Note: This is the only Christmas-oriented item on the entire disc!
37. sound bite: ERIC CARTMAN (from SOUTH PARK) "Screw you guys, I'm going home! Talking poo is where draw the line." Indeed!
38. LOUIS ARMSTRONG: "Oh Yeah!" Closing us out.

Assembled by Will Friedwald
Source material: Dr. Demento, Roger Sturtevant, John Leifert, Dave Weiner, Andrew Homzy, Mickey Clark, Mike Keiffer, Seth Winner.
Illustrations stolen from R. Crumb, used without express permission.