There was going to be a full moon that night, a night quite some time ago. I could feel it as I woke up that something special would take place that night. I rose from my quarters within the old Ford, and looked around. The junkyard was glowing with moonlight. It was the night of the Jellicle Ball. I saw my son conversing with Alonzo, and I overheard some of their conversation as I drew nearer:
"But Munkustrap, this could be your last chance...not to mention hers," Alonzo said.
Munkustrap answered, "We are young yet....the time will come again; not tonight....I think I shall wait until the next full moon."
"Wait for what?" I inquired as I came to them. Alonzo shot Munkustrap an unpleasant look, and went away. I repeated my question. Munkustrap lowered his eyes to the ground. "Mother, it's a queen."
"You'll be dancing with one tonight, I presume?" I smiled excitedly at the possibility of my son having a mate.
Munkustrap shook his head. "I want to wait, Mother..."
"Your father will meddle in this matter if word gets to him tonight, my dear," I replied. My bubble having burst, I simply nudged him in comfort, meant more for myself than him. I continued, "I know your father..." and then stopped. Maybe I was giving him stress instead of advice.
Munkustrap cuddled up to me as if he were a kitten, and the old wound re-opened, reminding me how much I had missed it. I had missed his kittenhood. This was one of the only chances I'd have to get it back, and so I soaked in the silence, and I rocked him back and forth, like a mother would have done to her offspring back in earlier days. I tried my best to picture him as a kitten, but it proved impossible. Munkustrap was now aged a year and a half. I had been with him for the first few weeks of his life...but I ran away, I abandoned him. Or did I? I left because of Deuteronomy, who saw me as an unfit mother for a member of his progeny.
The fool I had been to listen. I came back when Munkustrap was just about a year old. Deuteronomy had missed me, oddly enough, but Munkustrap had not. He didn't remember me, but who expected him to? All the same, it still hurt like no other pain I'd ever experienced before. His father had never told him a single thing about me, and avoided at all costs the reason why I left; and so Munkustrap was angry with me, and for a time wasn't sure how to cope with my return to him, but in time, he gave me a chance to be his mother again, and he even asked me to dance with him at the Jellicle Ball, a special dance with his "angel mother".
And so I missed his kittenhood. My mind returned to the proper point within this tale, with my Son close to my heart, safe in my arms, and consoled myself by thinking of the time as catching up. Munkustrap leaned up against me to kiss my cheek, and then Alonzo was calling him. He stood up, as did I. I looked at my son: He seemed so large in stature compared to me; I looked up to meet his eyes, and they were smiling.
Then, Alonzo's voice intervened again. "MUNKUSTRAP! Bluefen can wait! This can't!"
Munkustrap shook his head, and said to me, "Mother, I have to be attending to Alonzo: He won't let the matter at hand rest." With one more glance and smile of the eyes, he went off.
Bluefen can't wait! I thought, perhaps a bit upset. Oh well. I sat down and watched the last rays of the sun vanish into the evening which had conquered the sky and sighed.
Meanwhile, Alonzo and Munkustrap continued to quarrel. "Tonight could be your only chance to dance with her! What if another tom does? Then she'll be mated off, and you will never get another chance," Alonzo persisted.
Munkustrap sighed. "It just doesn't feel right tonight....it's not the right...the right time." Alonzo bit his lip, looked toward the heavens, and rolled his eyes, walking away. Munkustrap sat alone, and he too looked toward the heavens, as if Alonzo had been looking for something, and he wanted to see it as well. He closed his eyes, and let a light breeze dance upon his face.
The rest of the cats in the junkyard bustled about happily, preparing for the festivities of the night. Victoria bounded up to Munkustrap. She was three months old at the time, leaping up and balancing her paws on his chest. She cocked her head at him. "Whatchya doin'?" she asked.
"Thinking," Munkustrap replied, and his eyes remained closed.
"Well, watchya thinkin' about?" the small queen persisted.
He opened his eyes, and smiled half-heartedly. "Love." Victoria scrunched up her nose. "You'll understand when you're older...." he trailed off, and closed his eyes again.
Getting bored with the strange mumbling that she got as a reply, Victoria took her paws off of his chest, stood to her normal height, and trotted over to Bombalurina, who was sleeping in the washer. Victoria poked at the other queen's flanks. Bombalurina soon woke up.
"Bomby, you're Munkustrap's age....what's.....what's love?"
Bombaluria was a bit surprised, but tried as best she could to answer the question. "Love...love is what brings the world together, what unites us all as living beings. Love is creation, sorrow, peace, happiness, anger, and every feeling possible...in a way."
Victoria scrunched up her nose again. "But...but love is a good thing...isn't it?"
Bombalurina nodded. "Yes, but I can be angry at you, and still love you, can't I?"
"Oooooooh!" she said with a nod. "Thank you, Bombalurina!" She then excitedly ran off to play with the other kittens her age. The activity died down, in an effort to save energy for the Ball, and almost all of the cats were in some sort of shelter, whether it be the washer, the pipe, or the car, save two:
Munkustrap still sat with his eyes closed, facing what was now a bitter wind. I was laying on the hood of the car. The others were inside, and not paying a bit of attention. I watched him closely, but made no sound and no movement toward him. Munkustrap was whispering to the Moon, thought-whispering...and I know that I shouldn't have been able to hear him, but I did. To this day, I don't know how it happened, but I heard him loud and clear:
Will I ever find love? Am I meant to be alone? Does she care? Do I matter at all in this cold, imperfect world? Is it all a dream................? Will I ever find love?
I too turned to the moon, and asked her something. I do not know if Munkustrap heard it, but I asked the moon something that night, on that night so long ago:
Let my Munkustrap find love; let her, whoever she may be, love my kitten. Please, guide him, and help him................ Let him find love.
Then I turned away from the Moon, afraid that Munkustrap might see me in a moment of weakness. My tears were suddenly falling as if to flood the junkyard. Soon I was sobbing uncontrollably, tremoring. Munkustrap must have turned and caught sight of me. The next thing I knew, he was holding me in his strong embrace, whispering in my ear. "Sssshhh...it's all right. I'm here now."
He fell silent, and I was unsure of the reason, but then I felt hot tears hitting my fur like daggers. I clung to him as if he were Life itself, and he held me in return. I felt him shaking, and my tears must have been cold to him. It felt like forever, a forever in Paradise. I vowed that I would never tell anyone about that moment, that it was too private: I'd never cried like that before with anyone. It was between my.....my baby and I....no, my tom and I.
When all of our tears had fallen, Munkustrap laid on the car hood, and looked toward the Moon. I groomed myself so that I might be presentable for the Jellicle Ball, and then started to groom Munkustrap. Suddenly, I stopped.
He turned to face me. "What is it?" he asked.
"You...you're....you're an adult now. You can do it yourself...." I said, depression dwelling in my voice. He simply turned away, and went back to gazing at the Moon. I couldn't help but let my eyes smile; I knew what he wanted me to do, so I went back to grooming him contentedly. When I was finished, he turned around again.
"Mother, you look dazzling," he said, and I must have overflowed with pride, for he had admired me. I looked him over slowly and carefully, with a mother's keen eye. "You're glowing," I said.
"Oh, it's your work, Mother, your work," he said with a wink, and I smiled. I knew what he meant, for not only did I just primp and polish him to the desire of both of our hearts, but he looked exactly like me, or as close as two could be in appearance when they're of different genders.
Everyone began to stir again, and the Jellicle junkyard was suddenly full of life. There was much dancing and singing, and merrymaking, all the fun and entertainment that goes into the event. About one fourth of the way into the festivities, Tantomile froze, and looked around, as did Coricopat. Mistoffelees perked his ears. "Old Deuteronomy..."
And with that, in tottered the Old Pig. I turned away, and Munkustrap padded softly over to me. "Don't worry, Mother..."
"Just make sure that Alonzo doesn't let him know about the situation with...that queen....I just know he'll meddle in it." Munkustrap reluctantly left me, and I watched his attempts to keep Alonzo away from Old Deuteronomy. Old Deuteronomy kept away from both Alonzo and myself, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Munkustrap came back to me eventually, and whispered, "Father wishes to see you, Mother...."
"Then why doesn't he come see me himself?" I whispered harshly. Then, instead of taking out past anger on him, I went over to the leader.
"Munkustrap told me of your wishes," I said, bowing slightly.
"Yes, Bluefen. Our son has become quite a tom, hasn't he?" His eyes seemed to jeer at me as I lifted my head.
I was suddenly indescribebly furious: There he was, taunting me about the past. Who did he think I was? Better yet, who did he think he was? The old streak of horrible temper in me flared up. I could control myself no longer, and set fire to my thoughts. "What you have done to me will always haunt me: It will always be with me. You took my son away from me....it was because of you that I left my son!" I shouted. The whole junkyard froze, and I could feel their eyes latched on to me.
Munkustrap rushed to me, and once more I was in his embrace. I started to weep softly into his fur. I felt him tremor again, and my tears were still cold to him. He glared at Old Deuteronomy. "What have you done, what have you said?" he hissed in a tone audible to only the three of us, despite the silence you could cut with a knife. Deuteronomy returned the glare, but remained silent.
Munkustrap's volume rose. "What did you say to her?"
Old Deuteronomy looked out over the faces of the other Jellicles, and without answering Munkustrap, he bellowed, "CONTINUE!"
Munkustrap ushered me away from his father, and I continued to cry. Time drifted away with my tears, and soon, Munkustrap said to me, "The queens are dancing..." After a moment, I did not feel his strong grasp, and I looked to the center of the Junkyard. There was the graceful Demeter, dancing. Munkustrap was nowhere to be seen.
Then came the part where a tom was to join in. I saw many step in, and each looked around at the others. There was Skimbleshanks, the Rum Tum Tugger, and Alonzo. Munkustrap stepped out of the evening shadows, sending the other three a step back in surprise. I was nearly dizzy with joy, and watched to see the outcome. The toms danced in a circle around Demeter, and she was bright with pride. The toms sized up the other, and the Tugger was the first to step down.
My son danced with Demeter, he being just as graceful as her, but in his way. The Jellicles of the junkyard watched with pure wonder as Munkustrap claimed Demeter as his mate with the ancient terpsichorean ritual. The kittens had never seen the likes of it, and I was surprised that Munkustrap remembered it. The eyes of all the kittens, such as Victoria, Electra, Jemima, Mistoffelees, Sillabub, and Plato were plastered to Munkustrap and Demeter. They had been taught a different dance, a modern one, to change tradition slightly, but it was clear that they liked this one better. I decided that I would tell them about it on another occasion.
After all of the queens' dancing was done, Munkustrap rushed Demeter to me. I hugged her as tightly as I could. "Welcome..." I said. There was no need to say more. Munkustrap joined in the embrace. Then, we all joined in the dancing. Soon, Deuteronomy was gone, and the three of us were happy in our hearts. The glorious night had come to an end, and I had not only my tom. I bid goodnight to him, and turned to Demeter. "Goodnight, pleasant dreams." I smiled at my queen, and we both went to sleep, Munkustrap sandwiched between us, watching over us contentedly.
