THE AWFUL BATTLE OF THE PEKES AND THE POLLICLES

The Pekes and the Pollicles every one knows, Are proud and implacable passionate foes. It is always the same where ever one goes. And the Pugs and the Poms, although most people say, That they do not like fighting yet once in a way. They will now and again join into the fray,

And they:

BARK!

Until you can hear them all over the park!

Now on an occasion of which I shall speak, Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week. And that’s a long time for a Pol or a Peke.

The big police dog was away from his beat- I don’t know the reason but most people think He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink.

And no one at all was about on the street, When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet! They did not advance, or exactly retreat, But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet.

And started to:

BARK!

Until you could hear them all over the park!

Now the Peke, although people may say what they please, Is no British Dog, but a Heathen Chinese. And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar, Some came to the window, some came to the door. There were surely a dozen, more likely a score. And together they started to grumble and wheeze, In there huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese . But a terrible din is what Pollicles like, For your Pollicle Dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke.

-Pollicle song- There are dogs out of every nation, The Irish, the Welsh, and the Dane; The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian, And even from China and Spain. The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsation, And the Mastiff who walks on a chain.

And to those who are frisky and frollical, Let my meaning be perfectly plain;

That my name it is little Tom Pollicle- And you better not do it again!

And his brawn Scottish cousins are snappers and biters, And every dog jack of them notable fighters; And so they stepped out, with their pipers in order, Playing “When the Blue Bonnets Come Over the Border”.

Then the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof, But some from the balcony, some from the roof, Joined into the din With a:

BARK!

Until you could hear them all over the park!

BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!!

NOW!

Now when these bold heroes together assembled, The traffic all stopped and the Underground trembled! And some of the neighbors were so much afraid, That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade!

When suddenly, up from a small basement flat, Why who should stalk out, But…

THE GREAT RUMPUS CAT!

His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing, He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing. And when he looked out through the bars of the area, You never saw anything FIERCER, or hairier. And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning, The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning. He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap, And every last one of them scattered like sheep!

And when the Police Dog returned to his beat, There wasn’t a single one left on the street!

ALL HAIL AND A BOW TO THE GREAT RUMPUS CAT!!!

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