Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, The cat of the railway train! There’s a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine
When the night mail’s ready to depart.
Saying, “Skimble where is Skimble?
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can’t start!” All the guards and all the porters,
And the stationmaster’s daughters, would be searching high and low.
Saying, “Skimble, where is Skimble?
For unless he’s very nimble then the night mail just can’t go!” At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue,
And the passengers all frantic to a man,
That’s when I would appear, and I’d saunter to the rear,
I’d be busy in the luggage van! Then he gave one flash of his glass green eyes,
And the signal went all clear! They’d be off at last for the northern part,
Of the Northern Hemisphere! Skimbleshanks, the railway cat,
The cat of the railway train! You could say that by and large
it was me who was in charge of the sleeping car express.
From the driver and the guards, to the badmen playing cards.
I’d supervise them all…more or less. Down the corridor he paces, and examines all the faces,
Of the travelers of the first and the third.
He establishes control by a regular patrol,
And he’d know at once if anything occurred. He would watch you without winking,
And he saw what you were thinking.
And it’s certain that he didn’t approve,
Of hilarity and riot,
So the folk were very quiet,
When Skimble was about on the move! You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks,
He’s a cat that cannot be ignored.
So nothing went wrong on the northern mail,
When Skimbleshanks was aboard! It was very pleasant when they found their little den
With their names written up on the door. WOO-WOO! And the berth was very neat,
With a newly folded sheet,
And not a speck of dust on the floor. There was every sort of light,
You could make it dark or bright,
And a button you could turn to make a breeze. WOO-WOO! Then the guard looked in politely,
And would ask you very brightly,
Do you like your morning tea WEAK OR STRONG!?! But I was just behind him, and was ready to remind him.
For Skimble won’t let anything go wrong! When they crept into their cozy berths and pulled the counterpane, They all could reflect it was very nice,
To know that they wouldn’t be bothered by mice.
They can leave all that to the railway cat,
The cat of the railway train! Skimbleshanks, the railway cat,
The cat of the railway train! In the washes of the night I was always fresh and bright,
Every now and then I’d have a cup of tea.
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was keeping on the watch,
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea. They were fast asleep at Crewe
And so they never knew that I was walking up and down the station!
They were sleeping all the while, I was busy at Carlisle,
Where I met the stationmaster with elation! They might see me at Dumfries,
If I summoned the police,
If there was anything they ought to know about! When they got to Gallow Gate,
There they did not have to wait,
For Skimbleshanks would help them to get ou-ou-ou-out!!! (BOOM BOOM CRASH) And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail,
Which says I’ll see you again!
We will meet without fail,
On the midnight mail.
The cat of the railway train!!! Macavity!