Breaking up and Making up and…. by writer
Weaver opened the door to see Sandy Lopez standing there on her welcome mat, glaring with angry eyes.
“I don’t get you, Kerry.” She spat, angrily brushing past the red head to enter the apartment.
“I don’t recall inviting you in.” Weaver replied as she watched Lopez stand in her living room, crossing arms over her chest.
“Yeah…well…I wasn’t waiting for an invitation.” She came back as Weaver closed the front door and regarded the other woman.
“What do you want?” She asked calmly.
Huffing, Sandy gestured with a shrug. “I don’t know, Kerry. Maybe I want an explanation.”
Kerry sighed. “What are you talking about? I left a message on your machine that-“
“Yeah, I got the message.” Sandy interrupted. “So much for face to face discussion.” Sandy closed her eyes as if to ward away her mounting anger. “When are you going to stop being so afraid, huh Kerry?”
Kerry limped towards her. “What am I being accused of being afraid of now, Sandy? Could it be your uncanny ability to piss me off? No – it couldn’t be that…” Weaver pretended to consider this. “…or…perhaps, could it be my fear of actually getting through to you on some basic level?”
Sandy snorted, exasperated. “Forget it, Kerry. I don’t know why I came here.”
Kerry nodded. “Yeah well…I knew it would come to this. That’s exactly why I didn’t want to do it.”
Sandy smiled sarcastically. “Oh…you didn’t want to what - Break up with me face to face? Is that why you left me that pathetic message?”
Kerry linked her hands together, fingers laced, bowing her head in quiet consideration. “I didn’t know how to tell you face to face.”
Sandy nodded, a mask of hurt clouding her beautiful ethnic features. “Well, I’m here now. What is it you want to say?”
Kerry took a deep breath. “I think we should end this, Sandy. We don’t seem to be ‘getting along’.”
Sighing, Sandy regarded the attractive redhead standing in front of her. “What does that mean, ‘getting along’? Is that some kind of secret code for, ‘I’m not going to be able to embrace my sexuality, so just forget it?’”
Kerry shook her head, not ready for this conversation. “Sandy…”
“No.” Sandy interrupted. “Don’t try to baby me, Kerry. I’m leaving…”
Sighing, Kerry followed the Latina to the door and reached for her arm, not really wanting her to get away. “Okay – lets talk about this.”
The firefighter turned and placed her hands on her hips. “Now, we can talk about this? Because you’re ready? Gee, thanks Kerry. That’s all I needed to hear. I guess we can proceed now.”
Throwing up her hands, exasperated, Kerry exhaled deeply. “Well then forget it. If you want to stand there and rant – just close the door on your way out – I’m going to bed.”
Now, Sandy did close the door, but not before stepping inside and following Weaver to her sleeping quarters where she was quietly slipping out of her fuzzy house shoes. Sandy just stood and watched her before Kerry turned and realized she wasn’t alone.
“I thought you were leaving.” The redhead murmured, sitting on the edge of her bed, leaning her crutch against her nightstand.
Sandy shrugged, shoving her hands into her pockets. “I couldn’t leave before watching you engage in your nightly ritual.”
Kerry snorted, absently. “Of what? The annual laying down of my crutch?”
Now, Sandy smiled sadly, her voice taking on an even hushed tone. “Listen, I didn’t mean to come here and pick a fight with you – I just…” She searched for the words, staring down at her feet. “…well…I really care about you. I don’t want this to be over, but if it has to be then I just want more of an explanation than ‘we’re not getting along’, because personally, I thought we were getting along.”
Now, the doctor slipped the glasses off her face and placed them on the nightstand alongside a medical journal that lay face down against a small Tiffany lamp. “We were getting along, Sandy. This has nothing to do with how things progressed between us – or even you per se. It’s just…well….as usual, it’s me.”
Sandy shrugged her shoulders. “What does that mean, ‘as usual, it’s you?’ – I never accused you of anything…I never blamed you or…”
“I don’t mean that – I just mean…before. I always have this way of umm…sabotaging things.” Kerry’s face was pained. She was trying to block the images that washed over her from her past, but they wouldn’t stop coming. “You should leave.” She said in a whisper as Sandy watched her, hating to see the hurt in her face, the anguish in her eyes.
“Please don’t shut me out, Kerry.” Sandy’s voice warmed Kerry as it urged the tears down her cheeks like some kind of herder of emotions. For a moment, she stood and watched Weaver sit there, vulnerable as her cheeks became stained with her liquid sadness before going to sit next to her on the bed.
Reluctantly, she placed an arm around her shoulder, unsure if she’d be welcomed, then she felt her lover sink into the embrace and hold on tight, crying into the dark jacket.
“It’s okay, Kerry…shhh….” She stroked the red locks, brushing them away from her face, planting soothing kisses at her temple, and in her hair. “It’ll be okay. I won’t leave you alone – no matter how much you push me away.”
They sat that way for several minutes, rocking slowly, Sandy whispering gentle words into Kerry’s hair until the red head peered out of the embrace and ran her hand along the firefighter’s back, lovingly.
“I didn’t mean to leave that awful message.” Kerry murmured, sniffling. “I just thought…I thought maybe it would hurt less if I…pushed you away instead of you just leaving me…”
Now Sandy held onto the impossibly soft cheeks and shook her head. “What’d I tell you, Weaver, Hmm? I said I’d never abandon you, right? I meant that.” She kissed her forehead, stroking the cheeks with gentle thumbs. “You can count on that.”
Kerry nodded, rolling her eyes. “You must think I’m a blubbering idiot.”
Sandy shook her head. “No. I think you’re amazing.” She paused and pulled her hands away from Weaver’s face, slowly. “And to be quite frank, I think I may be falling for you.”
The redhead smiled slowly. “You mean that?”
Sandy shrugged. “Well…yeah. I guess I do.” She turned her gaze towards the doctor. “Is that okay?”
Bowing her head, Weaver nodded shyly. “Mmmhmmm…that sounds okay.”
Sandy pulled her close again. “Can I kiss you?”
Weaver’s cheeks flushed for the third time that night. “Mmm hmm.”
Sandy brought their faces close and pressed her lips to her lover’s softly, then urgently.
“Sandy…” Kerry’s voice trailed off as Sandy pushed the silky garment off her shoulder and kissed the exposed skin. Her hands in Weaver’s hair as her mouth caressed Weaver’s caused several tremors to flow through the doctor.
Kerry felt herself reclining against the headboard as Sandy moved over her, and their eyes met.
They breathed the same breath, stared into mirrored pools of passion, one chocolate, the other sea-blue. A wave of anxiety washed through Kerry as she brought her hands up to tangle in the caramel waves of her lover’s hair. Sandy was inches away – too close not to have registered the emotion.
“Kerry…” Sandy pulled back slightly. “..we don’t have to…”
“It’s not that.” Kerry whispered. “ I just…”
Sandy nodded. “Weaver, you don’t have to be so scared all the time.”
With that, Kerry felt a sob escape her lips. “No body ever wanted me for just…me…”
Sandy sighed and sat up, pulling Kerry with her. “Does my opinion matter at all?”
Kerry allowed her gaze to drop to the carpet. “Yes. Of course it matters. I…know you care about me…I just…”
Sandy shook her head. “I don’t wanna hear that. I want you for you. You are all I’ve been thinking about for weeks…you are the person I came here to fight for.” Sandy brushed her fingers against Kerry’s cheek. “Kerry, it’s you I want. I wasn’t going to accept some stupid reason from you why we shouldn’t be together…”
Kerry nodded and regarded the other woman, feeling her lips curl into a smile. “You came here…to fight for me…”
Sandy nodded. “Yeah, Weaver. Do I have to spell it out for you?” she leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on the doctor’s lips. “It’s just a shame that I have to keep fighting you for you…”
Kerry touched the lapels of the firefighter’s jacket, focusing her attention on accepting the truth – that she was a desirable woman that was actually wanted, needed. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she considered that she possibly felt something deeper, maybe even tangible for the other woman in return. Dammit, she knew she did. It seeped from her pores as she leaned forward and placed her lips over Sandy’s gently. The warm breath caressed and soothed her, flowed through her.
“Sandy…” she sighed as the other woman held the back of her neck and pulled her into the kiss, deeper.
Yes, this was how it should be….she wouldn’t run away from love again. She promised herself.
END
