Kerry and Mark writer
Kerry stared into the mirror at herself. He liked her hair this way, combed straight back, slick, darker red. Her eyes had been known to change colors, from greenish spring colors to a seductive blue, almost piercing. Now, they sort of lingered between hazel and gray. Her skin was usually pale and especially so when she was tired, worn out from working late shifts – like she had tonight.
The hotel mirror complimented her, but she still wore the dingy ugly scrubs from work and she considered changing and showering quickly before she heard the doorknob turn slowly, and she went to stand in the living quarters to greet her guest.
When he entered, he wore the same tired look she wore, and above his khaki slacks, he wore the same scrub shirt above a white thermal shirt.
He smiled when he saw her. “Hi, Kerry.” His voice was soft in the quiet of the room, and she cleared her throat.
“Hi Mark.” She limped towards him but kept her distance as he watched her.
“Sorry I’m late…five minutes ago, I was extubating a ninety year old man.” Her eyes stayed with him silently. “And all day I’ve been dealing with Romano, Pratt…Elizabeth…”
She nodded and smiled slightly. “Mark, we don’t have to…”
“Shhh…” he shook his head, dropping his satchel and approaching her.
“Mark…” It was a breath as he encircled her tiny frame in his endless embrace. She was several inches smaller, and he had to literally bend downward to kiss her on her waiting lips. It was soft, gentle. Her sigh was quiet and he slowly pulled the crutch from her grasp and picked her up, carrying her to the bedroom.
The affair had been going on for years, off and on, but now, as he slowly lifted the scrub top over her head, he wondered why it was ever ‘off’. He thought for sure he loved her.
“Kerry…” he whispered against her collar bone and she held tight to him, breathing him in, using one hand to hold his head tenderly.
He was so gentle with her, treating her with the utmost respect, smiling at her, loving her.
“Mark…” His hands found the drawstring of her scrub pants and untied it, bringing them down her legs, slowly.
“Kerry…” He murmured against her ear, trailing his large hand down the front of her torso, unclasping her bra. The cool air made her nipples stand erect and Mark took in her appearance in the dim light. “So beautiful, Kerry.”
Breathing shallow, she blushed deeply wrapping her arms around his neck as he palmed one breasts and squeezed it gently. She arched against him, sighing as his fingers found the nipple and began to manipulate it.
Years ago, they had agreed to meet like this – even after he began to date Elizabeth, but still…even as all the evidence told her she shouldn’t, she simply couldn’t resist him. During one of their ‘off’ times, she had gone through a messy relationship with Kim Legaspi and after one of their ‘on’ times, she had met and started to date Sandy Lopez. She never considered labeling herself, but she was positive this affair confirmed her bi-sexuality…or maybe it was just Mark she loved. She couldn’t imagine any other man like this. In fact, it turned her stomach to do so.
Now, he lay down on top of her, still clad in his khakis and scrub shirt.
“You okay?” he asked, and it amazed her that even after all this time, she could never convince him enough that she was fine with his weight above her.
She nodded, smiling. “I’d be better if you weren’t wearing all these clothes.”
He smiled down at her, brushing stray locks of red from her face. “Kerry, I wish…” he stopped, kissing her bare shoulder and she regarded him.
“What?” she asked, rubbing his scalp. “Tell me.”
He shook his head. “Nothing…it’s…forget it…”
Now, she held his face in her hands. “Mark, if you want to stop, I understand. I mean…”
He shook his head. “It’s never that, Kerry. I don’t want to stop…I just…I was thinking how cool it would be if we were married.”
Now, she closed her eyes and exhaled.
“I’m sorry.” He said against her cheek. “I know you hate that.”
Her hands came up to lift the shirt over his head, ignoring his inquisitive stare. “Are you mad at me, now?”
She shook her head, surprised at his question. “Not at all. I just…well…you know how unproductive that line of thinking is…”
He shrugged out of the shirt and kneeled above her, straddling her. “Kerry. I don’t love Elizabeth.”
Her eyes avoided his. Instead, she focused her attention on the fly of his slacks but when she reached for the button, his hands met hers.
“Kerry, look at me.” He said softly.
She raised her eyes, now a deep azure and regarded him, silently.
“I want your opinion on that – if you have one.” He said.
She dropped her hands. “Mark, I really don’t know what you want to hear.”
He sighed and bent down to kiss her. “Kerry…” His kiss was deep, passionate. “…Kerry”
Her hand cupped his wrists and she leaned forward, stayed with the kiss, prolonging it, cutting short the unnecessary things. He may have attempted a protest once, but when her tongue flowed towards his gently, his mind became aware of nothing but her gentle caresses.
Pulling out of the kiss, he watched as her hands went to his fly once more and unbuttoned it urgently. The sound of unzipping sounded loud and animated as their eyes met and her lips curled into a slow grin. She was feeling feisty tonight, that was apparent, but Mark was worried about the psychological ramifications of this affair. For so long, it had been okay. Just okay. Now, suddenly, it seemed in need of attention.
“Kerry…” he whispered, allowing her to help him out of his slacks as he lay beneath her and she straddled his hips. “…tell me what you’re thinking.”
She snorted and shook her head lightly, adjusting her weight above his (almost nothing from his point of view). “You don’t want to know what I’m thinking.” She said bending forward to kiss his chest, run her fingers through the light dusting of blond hair there.
He raised his hand and gently captured her mandible. “Kerry…” it was a soft warning. “…tell me.”
Biting her lip, she shrugged. “Why are we doing this?”
Even in the dark, his expression made Kerry regret the statement. Gently, he nudged his way into a sitting position so they were face to face, but his eyes were low, his lips a slight frown.
“I dunno, Kerry. I thought….I guess I thought you wanted this.”
She nodded. “I did. I mean…I do.”
He nodded, slowly. “I think I love you.”
She cleared her throat. “Sandy gave me a ring last night.”
Now, his eyes pierced hers in the dark. “What? But I thought….”
Slipping off of him, she sat next to him on the bed, covering herself with the comforter. “I know what you thought….but I don’t know if I can do this to her…or to me…” she turned to face him again, this time her eyes were large, determined. “Mark, I love you too – but I love her, and she isn’t married with two kids and obligations and…and whatever else you have.” Standing, she went to pull on her slacks again. “I thought I could do this, but…”
“Kerry…” he stood, and grabbed her hand, holding it tight. “…Kerry, don’t leave. We need each other. I’m not ready to end this…it’s been so good.”
She snorted, rolling her eyes. “At work, all we do is fight, disagree, undermine each other…”
He shook his head. “I thought that was just a part of the smokescreen.”
“Smokescreen?” her voice wavered slightly. “Mark? What smokescreen? Its been like that since we first met.”
He nodded, pulling her to him as she allowed it. “Kerry, without this, my life is…” he sighed. “…I’ll divorce Elizabeth”
She shook her head, breathing in his scent, manly, desperate, disinfectant and dirty all at once. “I don’t want you to do that…what about Ella?”
His hands encircled her waist, her back, her neck, driving into her hair as he pulled her up into a kiss, bending his knees, hoping his anguish would keep her with him. For a moment, their kiss lingered on, their tongues tangled, their sighs were one as he gently led her back towards the bed, but she stopped and pulled out of their world and into the real one, regarding him with large sad eyes.
“Mark, I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head as he watched her dress, sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, defeated.
“Kerry…”
“Goodbye, Mark.” She whispered as she walked towards the door, purse slung over her shoulder. For years it had held her captive, but she would bury the love she felt for him to make way for something and someone more productive. Sandy Lopez.
END
