The Midnight Train Crossing

"Um, Poppa, I just can't work under these conditions! If I had a spiffy horn.... well, all my problems would be solved,,,"
"A spiffy horn?"
"yes. a really spiffy one."
"okay...we'll see if we can find one for you."
"Oh! Gee, thanks Poppa! Oh, all the wonderful spiffyness of it!"
"There's you go Dinah."
*Dinah wonders off, wantonly blowing the spiffy horn*
it's very noisy
*Poppa wonders of the benefits of giving her that horn*

Surrounding trains cover their ears, and cower as a very noisy Dinah passes
*Rusty goes over and whines to Poppa about having a headache*
Dinah continues blowing her horn... the plants around her wilt.
Rusty can't stand it any more and begins to lose it... he runs over to Dinah, grabs her horn and runs like crazy.
"My horn! Rusty come back!" Dinah pouts, and turns to Poppa "Poppa... I want my horn back! Make rusty come back!"
Poppa hesitates...
Dinah whimpers
"Okay Dinah," he said with a sigh.
Dinah claps her hand happily. "Oh, good! That horn is just the best thing since sliced bread!"
"Uh huh," Poppa says, "Well..."
"I knew you'd get it back for me!" Dinah gives Poppa a quick hug.
"Yeah, sure Dinah," Poppa sez, "I'll just go catch Rusty then..."
"Okay! I just stand here and stare longingly into space while you do that."
"Whatever floats your boat," Poppa answers, very slowly rolling off in the general direction that Rusty has gone.

On the way he was interrupted by a very weird, very scary... um... a... Wrench!
Poppa stopped, having been interrupted by a very weird, very scary Wrench.
"what is the secret pass word, so you can pass?" Wrench asks.
"Secret pass word?" Poppa repeats, confused, "When did we come up with a secret password?"
"Um..." Wrench went silent, stumped, "a...few... minute ago I believe! Yes, yes, a few minutes ago. And you must know it because if you don't you're not really Poppa. And if you're not really Poppa I can't possibly let you pass..."
"So if I don't know the password that we came up with a few minutes ago, during which time I had just given Dinah a very spiffy horn, I am not myself?"
"For sure." Wrench smiled smugly, "After all, how do I know that you are the *real* Poppa, with all the alien clones running around and what not."
"Ah yes," Poppa comments as an alien clone runs past, "There certainly are a great deal of those running around these days."
"It seems that cloning trains has become a popular practice. ANYWAY tell me the password or I shall have to smite you with my..." Wrench searched her pocket for any good smiting tool. "trusty rabbits foot!"
"So what password exactly do you want me to tell you?" Poppa asked, "And you put that rabbits foot away, you could smite somebody with that thing."
"Okay... the password is..." Wrench leaned in conspiratorially, "Something incredibly obvious." She looked around, lest one of the clones might have heard.
Poppa looked around quickly, "No clones in sight...hold on, I'll take care of them."
"yes. All little clones need someone to tend to their every need... Oh.. you meant you'd *take care* of them. Well, get on it then!"
"Hey Clones!" Poppa shouted, getting all of their attention, "They're giving out free pencils at the library!"
The clones all looked up and then ran off towards the library, for no clone can resist the idea of free pencils.
"Oh. Wow. Their gone! Gee that's great!" Wrench wandered off humming. "Oh, the password is Mimosa!" She called out loud enough so every clone in a thirty mile radius could hear.

"Okay Wrench, now I must go off in search of Rusty in order to retrieve Dinah's new, and very spiffy horn."
Wrench turned around, "Oh, like a quest you mean! Coolies! I am SO coming with you!"
"You?"
"Well, yeah! You think I haven't been on magical mystical quests before? I was the original dragon slaying train!"
"Is that so?" Poppa asks, "Well then, I could certainly use you..."
"Yes. There a sure to be dragons lurking around this train yard! I slew three just yesterday. I couldn't imagine a spiffy horn retrieving quest with out a few dragons..."
"Well we have to figure out where Rusty has gone first..."
"Well, if you were a Rusty, where would you go?"
"Lets see, somewhere where I could hide a very spiffy horn."
"I'll bet he's... in that super secret horn hiding place! y'know, the one a few feet behind the old train tunnel, with the big sign that says 'super secret horn hiding place'"?
"Ah! Brilliant Wrench! We'll go there, come along!"
"Yes of course... ah! What an adventurous quest this will be!"
Poppa nodded, "come I shall pull you along and we will go to the super secret horn hiding place."
"Yes!" Wrench said, taking Poppa's rings, "You shall pull me along! Lets go then!"

Poppa did indeed pull Wrench along the tracks, they headed along towards the old abandoned tunnel...
They passed a bight flashing sign "This way to super secret horn hiding place!" It said.
"That must be the way to the super secret horn hiding place!" Wrench observed.
"Are you sure?" Poppa asks. He looks up and sees the neon sign, "Ah yes, you are right again," he says, "We'll just continue on this way, following the signs." Poppa followed the big neon arrows, leading to the super secret horn hiding place."
"are you sure it's this way?" Wrench asked apprehensively
"Yes," Poppa said, "I just have a feeling that we're going the right way," he says as he passes a big sign, which reads, "This is the right way to the super secret horn hiding place"
"Yes, but you can't go on intuition alone! For all we know we could be heading in the wrong direction!" She pointed to a small drab sign that pointed in the opposite direction of the bright shiny ones, "Look, it says 'this is not the way to the super secret hiding place'. How do y'know it's not that way?"
"Hmm..." Poppa said, "Well what do you think?"
"I don't know... it certainly is a difficult decision."
Poppa closed his eyes, "I still think we should keep on straight ahead."
"Um... sure thing!"
Poppa nodded, continuing to follow the bright yellow arrows.

Eventually they arrived in a big garden full of spiffy horns... angry spiffy horns with big sharp spiffy teeth!
Poppa screeched to a stop.
"I don't think they like us..." Wrench said, as the horns swarmed around them like a heard of angry wombats.
"I have a plan," Poppa said.
"well... tell me quickly before all these Spiffy horns destroy us!"
Poppa turned and made sure Wrench was hitched behind, "Make sure you're hitched behind me..." he said.
"wait a second... isn't it MY turn to come up with a plan?"
"Do you have one?"
"I will... just give me time!"
Poppa looked up as the spiffy horns with their spiffy teeth came closer. "you can come up with your plan after we carry out mine." He looked back at her, "Here's my plan, hang on while I run like heck!" with that he ran off down the tracks, away from the garden of spiffy horns.
Wrench held on, very tightly while Poppa ran like heck.
The spiffy horns pursued.
Wrench screamed.
Poppa turned down the tracks labeled "this is not the way to the super secret hiding place"

Suddenly the spiffy horns stopped, they simply wouldn't go down this line.
"hi Poppa! Hi Wrench!" Dinah said, coming out of nowhere, "So, didja get my spiffy horn away from Rusty?
"Uh no, we're still working on it Dinah," Poppa said.
"Well hurry up all ready! Why don't you just get one from the super secret spiffy horn garden? every one knows its just a little ways over in that direction!"
"We tried that Dinah," Poppa said, "But I knew that you'd want your own spiffy horn...and that you wouldn't settle for another one."
"I wouldn't?" Dinah looked at poppa confused, then something occurred to her sweet little dining car mind. "Of course I wouldn't!"
Poppa's eyes narrowed and he looked back at Wrench, "Hey Wrench, do you have a... *pencil*?"
"Of course I always have a pencil! What sort of good repair car doesn't carry a pencil with them at all times?"
"Good, give it here."
"I don't like to share. Ask Dinah.
"Dinah, do you have a pencil?"
"No Poppa. Maybe you have a pencil of your own? Wouldn't that be just amazingly convenient?"
"Hmm perhaps I do," Poppa said, looking in his pockets, "Why yes." he held it up.
'well, what are you going to do with that pencil?" Wrench asks.
"Dinah would you like it then?" Poppa asked, "It's just like the free ones being handed out at the library..."
Dinah took the pencil, examining it, "Gee Poppa, it sure is spiffy! Just like the ones at the library! I don't think I can resist it! Oh, thank you so much!"
Poppa looked at Wrench meaningfully. "You remember of course who can't resist pencils from the library..."
"Dinah?"
"Before we left on our quest, when I took care of *them*..."
"the... the... the clones! Crist on a cracker! Oh, Poppa, what ever will we do?"
Poppa glanced at Dinah, who was totally absorbed in the pencil.
"Run!" Wrench whispered.

Poppa nodded, and ran like heck, once again, down the tracks, follow the path which was, "not the way to the secret hiding place"
"No! Wait come back!" Dinah called, running after them.
Poppa didn't stop.
"Poppa! Wrench! Why are you running away from me!" Dinah screamed, running as fast as she could with out the aid of an engine...which wasn't very fast.
"We're not running away from you," Poppa yelled back, "we're just running..."
"Well stop, so I can catch up!" Dinah called out
"Why? I thought you were gonna just stare longingly into space until I returned."
"I was? Oh, yeah I was! It got boring so I thought I'd follow you!"
"Well you could go to the library, I bet they've got more pencils..."
'really! Yes I will..." Dinah paused, "b-but I wanna horn!" She stomped her foot, "NOW!"
"Back that way, in the garden of spiffy horns."
"Oh, okay... but weren't *you* going to get me that horn?"
"I'm gonna get you *your* horn, if you want another one you're welcome to get it yourself."
"well why haven't you found *my* horn yet?"
"Because it wasn't the garden, and I haven't found rRusty yet...and wow, I must be really shouting for you to still hear me huh?"
"Yes! you really are shouting! I think you're getting the clones angry, cause there's kinda a mob of them forming around you!"

Poppa looked up, sure enough there really was a mob of clones forming around him. "Well Wrench, it's your turn for a plan."
"yes... I'll just need a few hours to think it through. It must be glamorous and swashbuckling, yet practical... exciting, but safe... hmmm..."
"I don't think we have a few hours..."
"there's always time to perfect your plans!" Wrench said, as the horde of train clones closed around them.
Wrench giggled, "ha ha, that one looks kinda like you!"
Poppa sighed and then closed his eyes. He let out a burst of steam, spraying the train clones with the hot water vapor.
"I'm melting... oh what a world what a world!" screamed the sprayed clones.
"Wow... there's an idea! you can spray them and let them melt!"

Poppa grabbed Wrench and ran like heck again down the tracks.
They passed several ominous looking signs, "Go back!" "Stop!" "Warning!" "Wrong way!"
"Hey... d'ya think this might be the wrong way?" Wrench asked.
"Wh-wh-what?" Poppa panted.
"Well, all these signs would seem to indicate we're going in the wrong direction." Wrench said. Indeed they were.
Suddenly thousands upon thousands of super spiffy, super evil horns closed around them. The Train clones that hadn't melted joined the group of horns. They were surrounded! Oh no! What ever will they do now?

Poppa looked around, frantically, there was very small opening in the circle around them, and on the other side was a small cave. Poppa grabbed Wrench and dove into it. He pushed a conveniently located boulder in front of the opening, effectively keeping the clones and the super spiffy, super evil horns outside.
"Wow, nice going Poppa! We're safe now for sure!" Wrench said. but they weren't. There was a loud tapping, as the horns chipped away at the big boulder, making holes in solid rock! And then there was a great roar. There was a dragon in the cave!
"AHH!!!" the dragon roared, "MOVE!"
Poppa, startled, moved out of the way.
The dragon's tail whipped back from under where Poppa had been standing seconds ago. The dragon nursed her tail.
"You hurt it's tail, poor thing!" Wrench hugged the dragon. She leaned in as it whispered something in her ear, "What's that Lilly? You say Poppa is scary... oh... you're just not used to talking trains in your cave. We're nice folk really, nothing to worry about..."
"Aw I'm sorry," Poppa said, "Lilly is it?"
The dragon nodded. There was a terrible sound as the spiffy horns tried to enter the cave. Lilly the dragon cowered in fear.

"WHAT IS GOING ON OUT HERE?" another voice boomed.
Poppa looked up at the sight of a much larger dragon coming towards them.
The second dragon nuzzled Lilly. "It's okay little one..."
Meanwhile, the horns had managed to make a big hole in the boulder. They came swarming in. They swarmed very well. Lilly the dragon screamed, as did Wrench.
The big dragon, reacting to Lilly the dragon's scream stretched out her neck and roared at the swarming horns.
The horns, afraid of big dragons, turned on their spiffy little tails and ran away.
"Well done," Poppa said to the big dragon, "Thank you."

"You are welcome, train person." The big dragon boomed, "But since I have saved your life, you must now do me a favor in return. You must take my darling daughter out into the world to find her perfect husband..."
"Uh..."
Lilly the dragon gave Poppa an imploringly sweet dragon smile.
"Uh..." Poppa repeated.
"Pwease?" Lilly asked.
"I don't know where there are any other dragons..." Poppa started
"she would be very happy to marry a train prince."
"A train prince? We don't have those..."
Lilly the dragon started to cry big dragon tears...creating a flood rather quickly...
"No stop please!" Poppa said, "Uh Wrench, have you got a plan yet?"
"Run! before we rust!"
"Uh...okay..." Poppa turned to the two dragons, "Sorry, but she's right..." he turned and ran...
"well, you don't find many of those in train world" Wrench commented.
"Nope, I'd have to say not..." Poppa panted.
"Sure. You sure something's not wrong?"
"Wh-what do you think?"
"Hmmm..." Wrench said, "as a repair truck, I think you're hunky dorey fine."
"Oh good..."
"Yeah... well, lets go on our horn quest then! Maybe we'll find Rusty soon!"
"Okay..." Poppa said getting back up, "Where to now?"
"wherever Rusty is of course!"
"the bright flashing signs say he's that way, but being his father and all you'd prolly know best."
"Okay...this way," Poppa said, starting off again.

*in an announcer voice*
Will Wrench and Poppa ever find Rusty? Will they defeat the super evil super spiffy horns?
Will they find the real Dinah? Will Dinah ever get her horn back?

"Rusty!" Poppa shouts, "There you are!"
Rusty swallows, "Oooppes..." He turns and runs again, Dinah's spiffy horn shining in his backpack.

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