No One Likes Ms Johnson

Tune: No One Mourns the Wicked
Wicked
Subject: Ol' Hairy-Arms Johnson, precalc, school

Chorus:

No one likes Ms Johnson!

No one likes her precalc class!

No one laughs when she says goofy crap!

The students hate Ms Johnson!

Or at least they think she's dumb.

And it's true they wish she'd shut her trap.

And goodness knows

We all try to ignore her

Goodness knows

Her arms give you a scare.

If you look you can see

A mess of hair...

Meredith:

Fellow precalcians...

Let us be glad

Let us be grateful

Let us rejoicify the year

Is halfway through

Just one more month left

With You-Know-Who!

Isn't it nice to know

That we won't be in math soon

That creepy armhair that could

Scare us so

That fear we know

We'll feel no--

Chorus:

No one likes Ms Johnson!

No one likes her precalc class!

No one laughs when she says goofy crap!

Meredith:

And goodness knows

The freakshow's life is lonely

Goodness knows

She's living all alone!

It just shows when you're crazy

You're left only on your own...

Are people born hairy, or do they have armhair grown upon them? After all, she had a father.
She had a mother (as so many do!)...

Father:

How I hate to go and leave you lonely!

Mother:

That's all right, it's only

Just one night!

Father:

But know that you're here in my heart

While I'm out of your sight...!

Meredith:

And, like any family, they had their secrets.

A gorilla enters and grunts the Wizard's part of the song. He and the Mother go offstage.

Meredith:

From the moment she was born she was, well... different.

Father:

It's coming!

The baby's coming!

I see a nose!

I see a curl!

It's a healthy, perfect, lovely little--

Scream.

Ew!

Oh, holy crap!

It's atrocious! What a scare!

Like a fuzzy fluffy primate, the baby's arms

Are covered with thick...

HAIR!

Take it away. Take IT away!

Meredith:

So, you see, it couldn't have been easy...

Chorus:

No one likes Ms Johnson!

No one likes the armhair!

Armhair!

Arm... HAIR!