(Change of scene: halfway up a hill, nearby boulders. Victoria sees the masked Tom moving towards them)
Victoria: INCONCEIVABLE! Give her to me. Catch up with us quickly.
Tugger: What do I do?
Victoria: FINISH HIM, FINISH HIM! YOUR WAY!
Tugger: Oh good, my way. Thank you, Victoria. (pauses, thinking) Which way's my way?
Victoria: Get behind the boulder. In a few minutes the masked Tom will come running around the bend. The minute his head is in view, STRANGLE HIM WITH YOUR FUR!!
Tugger: My way's not very sportsmanlike.
(The masked Tom approaches the boulders, then slows down. Tugger jumps out just in front of him)
Tugger: I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss.
Dread Pirate Macavity: I believe you. (pauses) So what happens now?
Tugger: We face each other as the Everlasting Cat intended...sportmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You mean, you'll leave your hair out of this and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized cats?
Tugger: I could kill you now.
Dread Pirate Macavity: (looks at much bigger Tom) Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Tugger: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
(the masked Tom puts down the sword, and begins to pummel Tugger, but to no effect as his fur is thick)
Dread Pirate Macavity: Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Tugger: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for cats to die embarrassed. (Macavity dodges swipes from Tugger) You're quick.
Dread Pirate Macavity: And a good thing, too.
Tugger: Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?
Dread Pirate Macavity: Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone'll be wearing them in the future.
Tugger: I just figured why you give me so much trouble.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Why's that, do you think?
Tugger: Well, I haven't fought just one cat for so long. I've been specializing in groups. Battling gangs for local charities, that kind of thing.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Why should that make such a (strained) difference?
Tugger: Well, you see, you use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen Toms than when you only have to be worried about ... one. (Tugger drops unconscious to the ground as Macavity has gagged him to sleep)
Dread Pirate Macavity: I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But, in the meantime, rest well, and dream of beautiful, red Queens.
(Scene change: back to the ruins at the top of the cliffs. Prince Plato is looking at the scuff marks on the ground with his soldiers milling about and Cassandra watching)
Plato: There was a mighty duel. It ranged all over. They were both masters.
Cassandra: Who won? How did it end?
Plato: The loser... ran off alone, and the winner followed those footprints... toward Pollicle.
Cassandra: Shall we track them both?
Plato: The loser is nothing. Only the princess matters. Clearly this was all planned by warriors of Pollicle. We must all be ready for whatever lies ahead.
Cassandra: Could this be a trap?
Plato: I always think everything could be a trap...which is why I'm still alive.
(Switch scene to a beautiful grassy hill. Victoria is sitting behind a covered table with Demeter, blindfolded, next to her. On the table is a bottle of wine and two goblets. Macavity approaches the table)
Victoria: So it is down to you, and it is down to me. If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward.
Dread Pirate Macavity: (stops) Let me explain--
Victoria: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached? (steps forward)
Victoria: There will be no arrangement, and you're killing her.
Dread Pirate Macavity: (stops) Well if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
Victoria: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You're that smart?
Victoria: Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Aristotle, Homer, and Socrates?
Dread Pirate Macavity: Yes.
Victoria: Morons.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Really. (pauses) In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Victoria: For the princess? (Macavity nods) To the death? (Macavity nods again) I accept.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Good. Then pour the wine. (Victoria does while Macavity pulls out a small vial, and uncorks it) Inhale this, but do not touch.
Victoria: I smell nothing.
Dread Pirate Macavity: What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to cat-kind.
Victoria: Hmmmm.
Dread Pirate Macavity: (turns away from Victoria with the goblets, and pours the poison in. Replaces goblets on table, one in front of each of them) All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right...and who is dead.
Victoria: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of cat who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever Tom would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You've made your decision then?
Victoria: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely populated with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Victoria: WAIT TILL I GET GOING! Where was I?
Dread Pirate Macavity: Australia.
Victoria: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You're just stalling now.
Victoria: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my hairy Tom, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my tux, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that cat is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Victoria: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Dread Pirate Macavity: Then make your choice.
Victoria: I will, and I choose-- What in the world can that be? (gestures up and away from the table. While Macavity looks she swtiches the goblets)
Dread Pirate Macavity: What? Where? I don't see anything. (turns back around)
Victoria: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. (smirks)
Dread Pirate Macavity: What's so funny?
Victoria: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours. (they drink)
Dread Pirate Macavity: You guessed wrong.
Victoria: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a white cat when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha- (stops suddenly, and falls down dead)
(Macavity unties Demeter and takes off her blindfold)
Demeter: Who are you?
Dread Pirate Macavity: I'm no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.
Demeter: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Dread Pirate Macavity: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
(Scene change (Yes another… I like them *g*) this time to the boulders)
Plato: Someone has beaten large, hairy Tom. There will be great suffering in Pollicle if she dies.
(Switch to a hilltop somewhere near other hilltops)
Dread Pirate Macavity: Catch your breath.
Demeter: If you'll release me, whatever you ask for ransom, you'll get it, I promise you.
Dread Pirate Macavity: (laughs) And what is that worth, the promise of a Queen? You're very funny, Highness.
Demeter: I was giving you a chance. It does not matter where you take me. There is no greater hunter than Prince Plato. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You think your dearest love will save you?
Demeter: I never said he was my dearest love, and yes, he will save me. That I know.
Dread Pirate Macavity: You admit to me that you do not love your fiance.
Demeter: He knows I do not love him.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Are not capable of love is what you mean.
Demeter: I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream.
Dread Pirate Macavity: (almost slaps her) That was a warning, Highness. The next time my hand flies on its own, for where I come from, there are penalties when a Queen lies.
(Scene changes to the table Plato sniffs the vial)
Plato: Iocane. I'd bet my life on it. And there are the princess's footprints. She's alive, or was an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out.
(Scene changes: a grassy hilltop, alongside a gully)
Dread Pirate Macavity: Rest, Highness.
Demeter: I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything. You're the Dread Pirate Macavity, admit it!
Dread Pirate Macavity: (bowing) With pride. What can I do for you?
Demeter: You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.
Dread Pirate Macavity: Tsk-tsk-tsk. Hardly complimentary, your Highness. Why loose your venom on me?
Demeter: You killed my love.
Dread Pirate Macavity: It's possible. I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another prince like this one, ugly, rich, and losing fur?
Demeter: No. A farm-cat. Poor. Poor and perfect. With eyes like the sea after a storm. On the high seas, your ship attacked. And the Dread Pirate Macavity never takes prisoners.
Dread Pirate Macavity: I can't afford to make exceptions. I mean once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you and it's nothing but work, work, work all the time.
Demeter: You mock my pain!
Dread Pirate Macavity: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. (pauses) I remember this Tom of yours, I think. This would be what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?
Demeter: Nothing you can say will upset me.
Dread Pirate Macavity: He died well. That should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please... please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him here. "True Love", he replied. And then he spoke of a Queen of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.
Demeter: And what am I?
Dread Pirate Macavity: Faithfulness he talked of, madame, your enduring faithfulness. Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
Demeter: You mocked me once. Never do it again! I died that day! (pauses) And you can die too for all I care! (she pushes Macavity down the long hill)
Dread Pirate Macavity: (rolling) As... you... wish!!
Demeter: Oh my sweet Munkustrap, what have I done? (jumps down the hill, rolling after him)
(Scene change: the hilltop. Plato and his soldiers are mounted)
Plato: He disappeared. He must have seen us closing in. It might account for his panicking into error. Unless I am wrong, and I am never wrong, they are headed dead into the fire swamp.
(Yet another scene change: the gully. Macavity has lost his mask on the roll down)
Munkustrap: Can you move at all?
Demeter: Move? You're alive! If you want I can fly.
Munkustrap: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Demeter: Well, you were dead.
Munkustrap: Death cannot stop True Love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Demeter: I will never doubt again.
Munkustrap: (quietly) There will never be a need. (they kiss)
(Scene: Pouncival's bedroom)
Pouncival: Aw, no. No, please.
Gus: What is it? What's the matter?
Pouncival: They're kissing again. Do we have to hear the kissing part?
Gus: Someday, you may not mind so much.
Pouncival: Skip on to the fire swamp. That sounded good.
Gus: Oh. You're sick, I'll humor you. So now...where were we? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh...okay. "Munkustrap and Demeter raced along the ravine floor."
(Scene: ravine floor. Ahead looms the dark of the Fire Swamp)
Munkustrap: Ha! Your stupid fiance is too late. A few more steps and we'll be safe in the fire swamp.
Demeter: We'll never survive.
Munkustrap: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
(We skip time and are now in the fire swamp)
Munkustrap: It's not that bad. (pauses) Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.
(they walk along for a while. There is a series of thumping sounds approaching Demeter. A flame spout appears beside her)
Demeter: (screams as her tail catches fire. Munkustrap quickly smothers it)
Munkustrap: Well now, that was an adventure. Singed a bit, were you?
Demeter: (shakes head) Not badly. You?
Munkustrap: (shakes head) Well, one thing I will say. The fire swamp certainly does keep you on your toes. This will all soon be but a happy memory. (continues with what he was doing before we entered, telling Demeter of what happened to him)-- Macavity's ship Revenge, and I came at the far end. And I, as you know, am Macavity.
Demeter: But how is that possible, since he's been maurauding twenty years, and you only left me five years ago?
Munkustrap: I myself am often surprised at life's little quirks. See, what I told you before about saying "please" was true. It intrigued Macavity, as did my descriptions of your beauty. Finally, Macavity decided something. He said, "All right Munkustrap, I've never had a valet, you can try if you'd like. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night Munkustrap. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Macavity and I eventually became friends. And then it happened.
Demeter: What? Go on.
Munkustrap: Well, Macavity had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin, and told me his secret. "I am not the Dread Pirate Macavity," he said. "My name is Tumblebrutus. I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Macavity, just as you will inherit it from me. The Tom I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Macavity either. His name was Grumbuskin. The real Macavity has been retired fifteen years and living like a King in Patagonia." Thank you. Then he explained that the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Munkustrap. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew, and he stayed aboard for a while as first mate, all the time calling me Macavity. Once the crew believed, he left the ship, and I have been Macavity ever since. Except now that we're together, I shall retire and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything clear to you?
Demeter: (doubtfully nods her head then steps into a patch of Lightning Sand, and promptly disappears)
Munkustrap: (cuts a vine, and dives in after her)
(they appear again, gasping and coughing)
Demeter: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Munkustrap: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the fire swamp? One, the flame spurt. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, but you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Demeter: Munkustrap, what about the R.O.U.S's?
Munkustrap: Rats of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist. (A large R.O.U.S appears and pounces on Munkustrap) Aarrggghhh!!!
Demeter: Munkustrap!!
Munkustrap: Arr! Aarrrggghhh!! (Munkustrap wrestles with the rat. A flame spurt appears and ignites the rat, while Munkustrap stabs it)
Rat: Brawr rawr rawr! Arouw! (it dies)
(Change scene to a forest somewhere outside of the fire swamp)
Demeter: We did it.
Munkustrap: Now, was that so terrible?
Plato: (riding up) Surrender!
Munkustrap: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
Plato: I give you full marks for bravery. Don't make yourself a fool.
Munkustrap: Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire swamp. We can live there quite happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.
Plato: I tell you once again, surrender!
Munkustrap: It will not happen.
Plato: For the last time, surrender!
Munkustrap: Death first!!
Demeter: Will you promise not to hurt him?
Plato and Munkustrap: What was that?
Demeter: If we surrender and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this Tom?
Plato: May I live a thousand years and never hunt again.
Demeter: He is a sailor on the pirate ship Revenge. Promise to return him to his ship.
Plato: I swear it will be done. (to Cassandra, who is sitting next to him on her horse) Once we're out of sight, take him back to Jellicle and throw him in the Pit of Despair.
Cassandra: I swear it will be done.
Demeter: (to Munkustrap) I thought you were dead once and it almost destroyed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you.
Cassandra: (to Munkustrap) Come, sir, we must get you to your ship. (pauses as Demeter, Plato, and the soldiers leave)
Munkustrap: We are men of action. Lies do not become us.
Cassandra: Well spoken, sir. (Munkustrap notices she is wearing sunglasses) What is it?
Munkustrap: You have moonlit eyes. Someone was looking for you. (Cassandra knocks him out cold)
(Change of scenery: The Pit of Despair. Munkustrap is strapped to a table, in front of a large machine that consists of a waterwheel, levers, pumps etc. An spotted Tom is tending to Munkustrap's wounds)
Munkustrap: Where am I?
Alonzo: (in a deep menacing voice) The Pit of Despair. Don't even think- (starts to cough then continues in a normal voice) Don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. And don't dream of being rescued, either. The only way in is secret, and only the prince, Cassandra, and I know how to get in and out.
Munkustrap: Then I'm here till I die?
Alonzo: Till they kill you, yeah.
Munkustrap: Then why bother curing me?
Alonzo: (sighs) Plato and Cassandra always insist on everyone being healthy before they're broken.
Munkustrap: So it's to be torture then? (Alonzo nods) I can cope with torture (Alonzo shakes his head) Don't believe me?
Alonzo: You survived the fire swamp, you must be very brave, but nobody withstands The Machine.
(Now to the castle, where Plato and Cassandra watch a melancholy Demeter)
Plato: She's been like that ever since the fire swamp. It's my father's failing health that's upsetting her.
Cassandra: Of course.
(Switch to the center of the Jellicle Junkyard. Plato addresses the crowd from the tire)
Gus: "The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Demeter and Plato were married. And at noon she met her subjects again, this time as their Queen."
Plato: My father's final words were-
Pouncival: Hold it, hold it, Grandpa. Y-you read that wrong. She doesn't marry Plato, she married Munkustrap. I'm just sure of it. After all that Munkustrap did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.
Gus: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.
Pouncival: I'm telling you, you're messing up the story, now get it right!
Gus: Do you want me to go on with this?
Pouncival: Yes.
Gus: All right, then. No more interruptions. "At noon she met her subjects again, this time as their Queen."
Plato: My father's final words were: "Love her as I loved her and there will be joy." I present to you your Queen, Queen Demeter!
(Demeter appears and starts to walk down the aisle)
An old Queen: Boo! Boo! Boo! (she steps right up to Demeter, hissing)
Demeter: Why do you do this?
An old Queen: Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up.
Demeter: But they would have killed Munkustrap if I hadn't done it.
An old Queen: Your true love lives! And you marry another. True Love saved her in the fire swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of slime, the Queen of filth, the Queen of putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!
Demeter: (gasps and starts to cry)
(Scene: Plato's office)
Gus: "It was ten days till the wedding. The King still lived, but Demeter's nightmares were growing steadily worse."
Pouncival: See? Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Plato?
Gus: Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
Demeter: If it comes to this. I love Munkustrap. I always have. I know now I always will. If you tell me I must marry you in ten days, please believe I will be dead by morning.
Plato: I could never cause you grief. Consider our wedding off. (turns to Cassandra) You, uh, returned this Munkustrap to his ship?
Cassandra: Yes.
Plato: Then we will simply alert him. Beloved, are you certain he still wants you? After all, it was you who did the leaving in the fire swamp. Not to mention that pirates are not known to be cats of their words.
Demeter: My Munkustrap will always come for me.
Plato: I suggest a deal. You write four copies of a letter. I'll send my four fastest ships, one in each direction. The Dread Pirate Macavity is always close to Jellicle this time of year. We'll run up the white flag and deliver your message. If Munkustrap wants you, bless you both. If not, please consider me as an alternative to suicide. Are we agreed?
Demeter: (nods and leaves the room)
Cassandra: (once they are aloner) Your princess is really quite a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps, but her appeal is undeniable.
Plato: Oh, I know, the people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Victoria to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Pollicle is blamed, the nation will be truly outraged. They'll demand we go to war.
(Scene: A forest. In Jellicle. Cassandra is searching a tree for a certain knot)
Cassandra: Hmmm. Now where is that secret knot? It's impossible to find. Hah! Are you coming down into the Pit? Munkustrap's got his strength back. I'm starting him on the Machine tonight.
Plato: Cassie, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my mate to murder, and Pollicle to frame for it. I'm swamped!
Cassandra: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
(Skip time. We're now in the Pit of Despair)
Cassandra: Beautiful, isn't it? Took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. At present, I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how The Machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting. (moves a lever from zero to one. Water starts flowing, powering the machine. Munkustrap writhes in pain) As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking lives. I've just sucked one of your lives away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you, so let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. How do you feel?
Munkustrap: (whimpers)
Cassandra: Interesting.
(Back to the office of Plato)
Ademetus: Ahem!
Plato: Ademetus.
Ademetus: Sire.
Plato: (motions Ademetus to join him) As chief enforcer of all Jellicle, I trust you with this secret: killers from Pollicle are infiltrating the Thieves' Forest and plan to murder my bride on our wedding night.
Ademetus: My spy network has heard no such news.
Demeter: (walking in) Any word from Munkustrap?
Plato: Too soon, my angel. Patience.
Demeter: He will come for me.
Plato: Of course. (to Ademetus) She will not be murdered. On the day of the wedding, I want the Thieves' Forest emptied, and every inhabitant arrested.
Ademetus: Many of the thieves will resist. My regular enforcers will be inadequate.
Plato: FORM A BRUTE SQUAD, then. I want the Thieves' Forest emptied before I wed.
Ademetus: It won't be easy, sire.
Plato: Try ruling the world sometime.
(Scene switches to the Thieves' Forest. The Brute Squad is moving in and about huts)
Gus: "The day of the wedding arrived. The brute squad had their paws full carrying out Plato's orders."
Ademetus: Is everybody out?
Assistant Brute: Almost. There's a tux giving us some trouble.
Ademetus: Well you give him some trouble. Move.
(We zoom over to a hut in the Thieves' Forest. Mistoffelees is sitting outside it, nursing a bottle)
Mistoffelees: I am waiting for you, Victoria. You told me to go back to the beginning. So I have. This is where I am, and this is where I will stay. I will not be moved.
Assistant Brute: Ho there!
Mistoffelees: I do not budge. Keep your "Ho there".
Assistant Brute: But the prince gave orders.
Mistoffelees: So did Victoria. When the job went wrong she went back to the beginning. Well, this is where we got the job, so it's the beginning. And I am staying till Victoria comes. (swipes at the assistant with his sword)
Assistant Brute: You, Tom, come here!
(Tugger comes over)
Mistoffelees: I am waiting for Victoria.
Tugger: You surely are a meanie. Hello.
Mistoffelees: It's you.
Tugger: You don't look so good.
Mistoffelees: (sticks his tongue out) Phbphbphbphbphbphbphbphbt!
Tugger: You don't smell so good either.
Mistoffelees: Perhaps no. I feel fine.
Tugger: Yeah? (picks him up)
(Scene: Somewhere. We're not exactly sure where. You pick.)
Gus: "Tugger and Mistoffelees were reunited. And as Tugger nursed his inebriated friend back to health, he told Mistoffelees of Victoria's death and the existence of Cassandra, the cat with moonlit eyes. Considering Mistoffelees' lifelong search, he handled the news surprisingly well. (Mistoffelees falls head first into a bowl of food) Tugger took great care in reviving Mistoffelees."
(Tugger dunks Mistoffelees' head into buckets of water)
Mistoffelees: That's enough! That's enough! Where is this Cassandra now, so I may kill her?
Tugger: She's with the prince, in the castle. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty cats.
Mistoffelees: How many could you handle?
Tugger: (counts on fingers) I don't think more than ten.
Mistoffelees: Leaving twenty for me. At my best I could never defeat that many. I need Victoria to plan. I have no gift for strategy.
Tugger: But Victoria's dead.
Mistoffelees: No, not Victoria. I need the masked Tom.
Tugger: What?
Mistoffelees: Look, he bested you with strength, your greatness. He bested me with steel. He must have out-thought Victoria. And a cat who can do that can plan my castle onslaught any day. Let's go.
Tugger: Where?
Mistoffelees: To find the masked Tom, obviously.
Tugger: But we don't know where he is!
Mistoffelees: Don't bother me with trifles. After twenty years, at last my father's soul will be at peace. There will be blood tonight!
