Macavity

SOLO (spoken): 

Macavity!

DEMETER:

Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the hidden paw

For he's a master criminal who can defy the law

He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair

For when they reach the scene of crime MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity

He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity

His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare

And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!

You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air

But I tell you once and once again MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin

You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in

His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed

His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed

He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake

And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity

He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square

But when a crime's discovered then MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

BOMBALURINA:

He's outwardly respectable, I know he cheats at cards

And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's

DEMETER:

And when the larder's looted 

BOMBALURINA:

Or the jewel case is rifled

DEMETER:

Or when the milk is missing 

BOMBALURINA:

Or another peke's been stifled

DEMETER:

Or the greenhouse glass is broken 

BOMBALURINA:

And the trellis past repair

BOTH:

There's the wonder of the thing: MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

And when the crime has been disclosed the Secret Service say

"It must have been Macavity!"-- but he's a mile away

You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,

Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity

There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity

He always has an alibi and one or two to spare

What ever time the deed took place MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!

And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known

(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)

Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time

Just controls their operations: "The Napoleon of Crime"!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity

He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square

But when a crime's discovered then Macavity

Macavity, Macavity, Macavity

When a crime's discovered then MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

(DANCE -- MACAVITY)

CHORUS (spoken):

Macavity's not there!