“I
had some things I wanted to get off my chest. Last time I checked it wasn’t a
crime.” Tara huffed nastily.
“No,
but timing is everything. Did that little concept occur to you? I know Oz coming
home is making things...difficult, but we just got Buffy back and she needs us,
all of us to be there for her. Not quibbling like spoiled children, least of all
over things best discussed privately.” Willow’s voice was calm, but her eyes
were flashing angrily.
“What
the hell is going on?!” Joyce hissed, as she stalked down the steps. Coming to
a stop just behind Willow, she said “All of you need to take a breath and then
take yourselves away from each other, now!”
Xander
shrugged and turned to Oz, “I need to blow off some steam, you feel up to
going on a food run with me?”
“Yeah,
but I’m driving.” Oz stepped back into the living room, “I’m going for
food, anyone have a preference?” A chorus of calls rose, and after a few
minutes a consensus was reached. “Right, five large pizzas it is, I’ll get
some soda and stuff too. Ms. Summers, what do you think Buffy would like?”
“She’ll
eat anything, you know that, but I’m guessing soup would be the best idea. We
got some fluids into her earlier, but I’m sure she’s going to be hungry when
she wakes up. And you probably need to get something for Angel and Spike as
well. Just let me get my purse.”
“No
need for that.” Giles murmured, pulling out several bills. “Here, get
whatever is needed.”
“Speaking
of Spike, shouldn’t he back by now?” Anya asked.
“He’s
probably still working out his aggressions on Ligeia, that...or he gave her to
Harmony. Either way, I’m happy he’s not here.” Xander replied, “G-man,
what’s with the big moolah? We’re just going for pizza.”
“Yes
well, Dr...” He cocked an eyebrow at the dark-skinned woman.
“Just
call me Kai.” She said, with a tired smile, “I’m not one for
formalities.”
“All
right, Kai has phoned in several prescriptions for Buffy, you’ll need to
retrieve those as well. And I think we could all use a drink. Single-malt scotch
for me, get everyone else whatever they prefer.”
“Sure,
how about you guys make a list?” Oz offered.
“Mind
if I come with?” Willow asked, already reaching for a sweater.
“Yeah,
I do. Oz and I, we’re having guy time. No offense.” Xander replied, his
expression cold.
“None
taken.”
“Willow,
I need to talk to you.” Tara whined.
“You’re
not going to stop are you? Fine, let’s just go outside.” Willow snapped.
“So,
what’s your problem with Tara?” Oz asked softly.
“It’s
kind of hard to explain, it’s not the gay thing exactly. I mean that was a
surprise, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not that big of an issue, you know? I
mean the possibility of dying every other day or so, it tends to make shit like
that not an issue, it’s the other stuff that bothers me.”
“Like?”
“She’s
always around, I mean we’re talking 24-7, if you’re looking for Willow,
chances are Tara’s right behind her.”
“So?
Me and Will were practically joined at the hip?”
“Yeah...but
you did other stuff. You had the band and all, and Willow still went places
without you. Now, it’s like a major event if Willow wants to go out by
herself, and even when she does, it’s for like an hour or so, then Tara’s
calling her. I mean, she got her a fucking beeper for chrissakes!”
“That’s
still not that major, I mean maybe that’s just the way they are.”
“It’s
not just that, Willow’s different now. You remember how her and Buff used to
hang out? They’d go to the Bronze and scope guys? Irritating but normal? Tara
like flips out if Willow makes even a minor comment, about a guy or a girl.”
At the skeptical look on Oz’s face, he sighed and said, “I’ll accept that
it sounds a little irrational, none of it is major, its just a feeling I’ve
had lately...Like for Willow this relationship is fun and she cares, but it’s
not a forever thing for her. Tara on the other hand, she worries me, mostly
because I think for her this is it. Not so much ‘cause she loves Will, more
like she’s decided this is her life. Her family is...jacked up, and at first I
thought she’d calm down, but lately especially since Riley left, it’s like
she’s afraid Willow thinks of her the same way Buffy saw Riley...” The tall
dark-haired man trailed off as he realized the truth of his words.
“How?”
“Hunh?”
“H-how
did Buffy see Riley?” Oz asked, his heart suddenly in his throat.
“Like
a replacement, not even a very good one...I never fully realized that until now,
that’s part of why he left, he knew she didn’t really love him, even when we
kept trying to convince her she should. Fuck me, I’m over being pissed at Tara
now, now I just feel sorry for her.”
“You
really think Willow...” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Still
has it for you? Yeah, I do...especially since she doesn’t have to worry about
you eating her anymore, right?” Concern for his best friend suddenly lacing
his voice, as they pulled into a parking spot in front of the pharmacy, he
turned to face the smaller man, “I mean, the whole thing last night, you were
just showing off, you not gonna like wolf out and eat Willow or anything?”
“No,
I finally learned how to control my change, I’m never going to be
anything but a wolf, but that doesn’t mean I’m an animal.”
“You
seem different now, happier, a lot more verbal.” Xander couldn’t resist
laughing suddenly, when Willow and Oz had been together, he hadn’t liked the
older man, now he understood so much more about relationships, and odd as he and
Anya’s seemed to be, he knew in that moment he’d finally grown up.
“You
too, you’re not as nervous or something.” They split up to get the food and
prescriptions, finally meeting back up at the liquor store.
“Now
that we’ve gotten the food and stuff, maybe we should go by Spike’s. When I
was getting the medicine for Buffy, I couldn’t help thinking about what
happened, I want...no, I need to be sure Willow’s safe.” Oz swallowed
convulsively, his suddenly filled with image of his Willow in the same shape as
Buffy.
“I
wouldn’t really recommend that, trust me Ligeia’s not going anywhere.”
Xander settled the cases of beer they’d just bought in the backseat next to
the pizza boxes.
“How
can you be so sure? I know Spike’s been fixed, but he’s still not the poster
child for good guys.”
“Something
he said last night,...Druscilla, well Ligeia had a sister, she did much the same
thing to Dru, that’s why I wanted Spike to be the one to watch her. I’m
pretty sure Angel could do the deed, but he’d probably feel bad afterwards,
Spike, well he’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Translation:
you’re thinking he’s torturing Ligeia, or he’s already killed her, either
way you don’t want to interrupt.”
“Pretty
much, I know it’s wrong but I keeping thinking it could have been any of the
girls. They were after Anya for a while you know?”
“Yeah,
speaking of which, how’s that going?”
“Great.”
They
drove off quickly, each of them suddenly having an uncontrollable urge to see
the women they loved. The time passed quickly, two old friends catching up.
“Wake
up, bitch!” Spike yelled, just before backhanding Ligeia, “I didn’t give
you permission to sleep.”
“Who
do you think we are?” She snapped in response, struggling at the chains that
bound her wrists and ankles.
“I
don’t think you’re anything pet, except my very own personal brand-new
toy.” At the horrified expression on her face, he couldn’t repress a giggle.
“That is your term, isn’t it?, ‘toy’ that’s what you called my Dru,
and the Slayer, come to think of it, you were planning on giving Red the same
treatment, weren’t you?” He purred softly, “Now, I’ve never been one for
torturing women, that was always more my Sire’s style, but for you pet, I’m
going to make an exception...Hmmm, you smell so good, fear is such a wonderful
odor...” He smirked when her eyes widened in horror, “Oh, trying to figure
out why that spell you’ve been trying to cast for the past few seconds isn’t
working? Well it’s very simple pet, Red pulled your claws, a nice binding
spell, one woven with hair and blood, and hate, that emotion you inspire so
well. You can’t even kill yourself, but I on the other hand, I can do anything
to you, anything at all.” To prove his point he struck her again, this time in
the stomach, ”My dark little princess suffered so, first Angelus,” He rapped
her sharply, this time in the face. “Then your bitch of a sister, I killed her
for my princess, left you her heart, it wasn’t enough of course, I was too
angry to think clearly, to plan all those little ways to make her death last,
yours on the other hand, I can probably drag it out for the next 40 years,
longer if I change you...” He grinned at the horrified look on her face,
“Say something pet, make it fast though, in a minute you’re not going to be
able to.”
“Y-you
will not do this to us.” Her voice was shrill, Spike had walked in circles
around her the whole time he was
talking, knowing her instinct would be to try keep an eye on him purposely
disorienting her, now her eyes were rolling in her head, and the stench of her
fear was beginning to fill the room.
“First
off, this is my party, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, second, you can drop
that little ‘we’ bullshit. You’re alone, with me, and if I hear you refer
to yourself like that again, well you’re going to start praying for more of
the little love taps I’ve been giving you. Understand?”
“No,
we are...” Her words were cut off by a barrage of blows, Spike snatched up an
old whip, left over from one of Harmony’s attempts to make Spike forget
Druscilla. He avoided damaging her badly, instead he struck at the areas he knew
would cause the most pain, her inner thigh, under her arms, and her lower back.
“I.
Warned. You.” Each word was punctuated with a blow, “Now, we’re going to
try this again.” He stopped, peered at her tear-streaked face, she hadn’t
screamed once, *Amazing, but then again, I haven’t hit her very hard, at least
not yet*. “I’ll ask again, do you understand?” At the look of
determination on her face he laughed, “You really are a dumb cunt, that’s
okay, I’ve got all the time in the world, and by the time my princess gets
here you’ll be ready to apologize, and if you’re not?...Well, I’m sure the
two of us will think of something.” He paused to light a cigarette, taking his
time, enjoying the smell of her pain and confusion.
“We...I”
She corrected herself hastily at the look his face, “I’m confused, why
didn’t you just kill me?”
“Because
that would have been too easy, I want you to pay for what you did.” He gave
her a cold smile, “I never gave you permission to ask a question, pity, now I
have to punish you again.” Before she could react, he pressed the lit
cigarette to the soft skin in the hollow of her throat. He couldn’t help
laughing while she screamed.
“We’re
back.” Xander and Oz chorused, as they came through the door. A few seconds
later the masses descended, stripping them of both food and drink.
“Here’s
the medicine, and we got her chicken soup from the deli. Oh, and here’s the
stuff for Angel.” Oz said, handing packages to Joyce and Giles.
“Thanks,
I’ll heat this up and take a tray to them. Rupert, while I’m doing this,
will you go see if you can convince Angel to take a break? At least long enough
for you to check his side?” Joyce asked, on her way into the kitchen.
“I’ll
try, he was asleep on the floor the last time I went up, I’d rather wait till
after he’s eaten. It’ll be easier to judge his condition. Oh, Oz did the
rest of your pack leave?”
“Most
of them crashed at my place, but by now a few of them are probably on their way
home. The rest won’t hang around long, wolves hate the way the Hell mouth
smells.”
“Really?
I never knew that, although I suppose that explains why Sunnydale has so few of
them.” Giles commented.
“Yep,
Kai will hang around for a while, just to make sure Buffy’s okay,
umm...where’s Willow?” Oz queried, his eyes sweeping the room nervously.
“She
went outside with Tara, they’re fighting about you.” Anya responded.
“Oh,
I guess I’ll just sit here then.”
“That
would probably be best, Xander says that break-ups are hard on people, all that
messy crying. That’s what Buffy did after Angel left. Besides, it shouldn’t
take long for Tara to get all flustered and stop making sense. I don’t
understand why Willow bothers with her, she’s very hard to talk to.”
“Anya,
we talked about this, tact...remember?”
“I
forgot”, turning to Oz she said, “I’m not supposed to say the truth all
the time, sometimes I’m supposed
to lie, when I lie about what everyone’s thinking, then I’m being tactful.
I’m still not sure why I want to be tactful.”
“You
don’t,” Cordelia put in from the doorway, “At least, I’m never tactful,
and really it makes things easy. You just keep saying exactly what you’re
thinking, whenever you’re thinking it, and most people will admire that. The
one’s who don’t, “ She waved her hand in dismissal, “they don’t
matter.”
“Delia,
don’t tell her that.” Gunn admonished.
“Look,
I haven’t heard her say anything I wouldn’t. Tara seems like a nice girl,
but I get the feeling she’d rather be anywhere but here. She’s only helping
out because of Willow, and since Oz is back, I’m guessing things are going to
be ugly. Now, how’s Buffy?”
“I’m
my way up, why don’t you come with, and see for yourself?” Joyce said over
her shoulder, already on her way to the stairs. “Kai, should I try to give her
any of the medication now?”
“No,
I gave her a shot of wide spectrum antibiotics earlier, her throat was extremely
swollen when I examined her, so she may need some help swallowing that soup.”
“Cordy,
do you mind? Angel needs to eat, and I’m not sure I can feed Buffy by
myself.”
“Okay,
did you heat up Angel’s ‘food’?, he hates it cold.”
“So
does Spike, I even have a couple of special mugs.”
“I so
don’t understand the Spike thing, but I’m glad he was there.” As they came
to the door, Cordelia snuck a peek at Joyce’s face. “You seem calmer about
Angel, I’m glad.” At the stricken look on the older woman’s face, Cordelia
took the tray from her.
“I
asked him to leave because I thought it would be better for her, I was wrong.
Now, I just have to figure out a way to make it up to her. This seems like a
good place to start.” Joyce took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.
“Willow,
I almost died today. You don’t even seem to care, it’s all about your
friends...and him.”
“Tara,
last time I checked, the reason you didn’t die was as you put it...him. If Oz
hadn’t jumped in front of you, we wouldn’t be here fighting right now.”
“I
know that, you don’t think I know that?!” Tara was nearly screaming
now, “But he’s a werewolf, if he gets hurt, he’ll be fine as long
as it wasn’t done with silver, I’m human, there is no special thing about me!
You’re human too, that could have been you, instead of Buffy, have you even
thought about that? I have, I worry about you all the time, and every few days
it seems like I’m sitting somewhere with my heart in my throat! We won this time, this time, next time could be a
completely different story.”
“I
know all of this, I knew after we first started helping Buffy. When the Master
rose, I was right there, when Angel went bad, I was there again, you think Buffy
and Giles haven’t tried to keep us out of it? I can’t do that, I know what
goes bump in the night now, and I will not leave my friends to face it
alone! I’m sorry you’re so worried, but this who I am, I could have gone to
college anywhere, but I’m not abandoning my friends. If you can’t deal with
that, then there’s nothing I can say. I love you, you know that, but I can’t
just turn my back on my life.”
“You
‘love’ me? Since when? If you loved me I wouldn’t have to fight for your
attention, I wouldn’t always come second, I wouldn’t always be on the
outside of your life looking in!” Tara burst into tears, “I’m not
that important to you, I’m just this supporting character in the Willow show,
I’ve got no friends other than yours, because I can’t tell anyone the truth.
I can’t talk to anyone other than your friends when I’m scared, or worried,
and none of them like me. I’m so
lonely, all the time I spend away from you, I spend alone, and no matter what
anyone says, that’s not normal. I thought I could stand it, but I can’t, I-I
met someone a few weeks ago, and we could have something, something normal. No
secrets, no hysterical phone calls in the middle of the night, no demons other
than the ones in our heads, just two girls in college.”
“Well
now I know where I stand, all this crap about Oz was just an excuse! You’ve
been cheating on me, that’s why you didn’t say anything about me hanging out
with Buffy the other night. Let me guess, its Sara isn’t it? Well, that’ll
be cute, Tara and Sara, how sweet. Gods, I think I’m going to be sick,
actually I know I am. Do me a favor, stay away from me, I’ll come by to pack
my stuff later.” Willow was hugging herself, clutching at her stomach, trying
to keep the gorge from rising.
“I
never cheated on you, I just made a friend who might be something more, I
wasn’t going to go anywhere with it at first. Then Oz came back, and I saw my
future. We would have stayed together for a while, but eventually you were going
back to Oz. I’m not blind or dumb, after he came back the first time I did a
little research, wolves mate for life, did you know that? I love you, but I know
I’m not ready for forever. I know I was the one pushing for commitment at
first, but lately I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I realized I’m just
scared of being alone and last night I decided I don’t want to be that person.
I want to be normal, my whole life I that’s the only thing I wanted and I
can’t do that and be with you.
“Well
now you’re going to get exactly what you want. Pity, it’s at my expense, but
hey, I’m happy you’re happy. Just don’t try to turn this around on me, I
never said a word about going back to him. You decided what I was going to do,
you decided this was over, not me, and you chose this!”
“Look,
I wish things could be different, but I’m turning into this person I don’t
much like, the more time we spend as a couple, the less I recognize myself. I
used to have a life of my own, not much of one maybe, but it was mine. Now I’m
your girlfriend, and that’s it!” Tara felt the last of her anger melt away,
she’d been so upset for so long, and now that she was finally free, she felt
bad for taking it out on Willow. She knew Sara had a thing for her girlfriend,
she’d even tried to ask Tara about it a few times, but she’d always
dismissed it as Willow being paranoid. Even when Sara made her intentions clear,
Tara had continued to lie to Willow, she felt terrible about it, but
confrontation was never her strong suit. If
Oz hadn’t come back things still would have come to the same conclusion, only
not quite as fast. Her own fears had finally pushed her to say what was
necessary. “Can we still be
friends? I know that’s a cliché, but I mean it. Can we?”
“Maybe
later, for now can you please just go away? I need to be hysterical, and I
refuse to do it with an audience.”
“I’m
sorry, I’ll see you later, just give me a call when you want to pick up your
stuff. I’ll make sure I’m not around.” When Willow didn’t respond, Tara
shrugged, “Do you want me to get someone?”
“No,
I just want you to go away. Now.” Willow hissed.
“Here’s
food for you, and soup for Buffy. Has she woken up yet?” Cordelia squatted
next to the bed, ”Have you gotten around to taking a shower yet? I mean, I
know vamps don’t sweat, but you reek of demon goo.”
“I
can’t leave until I know she’s okay.” Angel replied, his eyes fixed on
Buffy.
“At
least eat something, here.” She shoved the mug of blood at him, “Did the
doctor say it was okay for her to be unconscious this long?”
“She’s
not happy about it, but it’s normal for someone who’s lost as much blood as
Buffy to be out of it for a while, besides Slayers tend to sleep while their
injuries are healing.”
“Oh,
well we brought soup for her, I guess it can wait.”
“No,
she’s hungry, I can hear her stomach, and food might help her wake up. Joyce?
Do you have any straws?”
“Right
here, I figured her mouth might hurt too much for a spoon, besides she
loves...”
“Straws
when she’s sick, yeah I know. I used to keep a ton of them around.” He shook
his head at the memory, with a few gulps he drained the mug. “I’m going to
prop her up, can one of you hold the straw?”
“Here,
Cordelia you hold the soup. I’ll rub her throat, it’ll help her swallow.”
Joyce and Cordelia arranged themselves quickly, after a few tries, and several
minutes of sucking their efforts were rewarded by the sight of a half-empty bowl
of soup. “We should give her a
minute, make sure it’s not too hard on her stomach.”
“She’s
not hungry anymore anyway, her stomach’s stopped growling.”
“Good,
now we’ll stay here, you go take a shower, and make sure you let Giles look at
your side. Don’t even think about arguing with me.” Cordelia helped Angel
lower Buffy to the bed, then pointed at the door. “Now, go take care of
yourself.”
“Fine,
I’ll take a shower, but I’m only taking a short one, and I just ate, so my
side is fine. Did you bring my clothes back with you?”
“Yes,
Gunn remembered, they’re downstairs. We need to take you shopping though,
black is so passe.”
Angel
didn’t bother to respond, just paused to kiss Buffy’s forehead, whispering,
“I’ll be back in a bit, I love you.”
“Hey
G-man, you okay?” Xander wandered into the kitchen, and was surprised to find
Giles crouched on the floor.
“Y-yes
I dropped a glass that’s all.” He responded, surreptitiously wiping his eyes
with back of his hand.
“Unh-hunh,
next you’ll be telling me it was the onions, which coincidentally I’m not
seeing. She’s home now and she’s going to be fine.”
“I
know she’s safe for now, but this thing with Glory isn’t going away, and
right now instead of being in a hospital, she’s here. She went through a
horrible ordeal, and I’m going to have to ask her to go back out there.
She’s been through so much, and everyday she goes out there is another day she
risks her life. I love her like a daughter, and instead of her growing up,
getting married and having children, she’s fighting demons and spending her
life alone. It’s not fair Xander, none of you should have to face the things
you do.” Giles gulped for air, his eyes fixed on the floor. He hadn’t meant
to lose control in front of the younger man, after all he was the group’s
father figure. He was shocked when he finally looked up and found Xander crying
as well.
“I
know she’s the Chosen One , but you’re right it’s not fair. None of it is,
we won’t even talk about how much her regular life has sucked. This just seems
like some horrible nightmare. But it’s not is it? I still haven’t been able
to go up there, I know I should, but when I do, it’s going to be real and I
can’t even begin to think of how to deal with it. I keep telling myself
she’s strong, that she can handle anything life or this place,” He waved a
trembling hand, seeming to encompass all of Sunnydale, “throws at her, but I
know that’s a lie. No one can handle this much shit, I mean I know I
couldn’t. Anya and I were talking about marriage a few days ago, and I had
this pleasant little daydream about our lives, you know? Only, Buffy won’t get
that life, and truth be told, neither will we, instead we’ll keep fighting to
save her and the world, from things that have no business existing!” He broke
down then, kneeling besides Giles on the floor, the two of them crying out their
pain.
“Hey,
is this a private hysterical moment? Or can I join in?” Anya asked softly,
she’d seen Tara light out like her hair was on fire. Since no one else was
around to ask what to do, she decided to do like Xander always did when someone
was upset, go ask them what was upsetting them. Tara had stopped long enough to
tell her to go check on Willow.
“I’m
not hysterical, I’m just upset.” Willow snapped.
“Oh,
Tara said you were hysterical. Why are you upset?” Anya asked, looking down at
the kneeling witch. She knew Xander would probably have sat down beside her, but
she’d just showered and changed, and she didn’t want to get mud on her
pants.
“Do
you care?”
“Probably
not, but Xander says I’m supposed to so I’ll try.” She glanced around,
she’d never been in Buffy’s back yard, it was kind of pretty. Lots of trees,
none of those annoying buzzing things, though she supposed that could be because
of all the rain. *I’m glad it stopped, wonder if Spike killed that bitch yet?*
“Tara
and I broke up.” Willow responded, peering up at Anya.
“Good,
now you can have sex with Oz.” Anya replied, nonchalantly.
“Who
said I wanted sex with Oz? Why does everyone think I’m going back to him?!”
“Well,
otherwise he’ll be alone for the rest of his life, I thought that was
something you would want to prevent. Unless you’re still punishing him for
leaving you?”
“No,
of course not. What do you mean he’ll be alone?”
“Werewolves
mate for life, didn’t you know that?”
“Tara
said something like that, but it’s not true, Oz cheated on me with Veruca.”
Willow had stopped crying, she stood up, facing Anya, “Of course Tara’s been
cheating on me too, I have such good luck in relationships.”
“I
thought Veruca was that girl-wolf Oz killed?”
“He
did, then he tried to kill me.”
“He
told you he slept with her?”
“No,
he said she had to share his cage, to keep her from hurting anybody, but they
were naked and stuff, and he couldn’t remember what happened.”
“But
you conjugated with him?, before that night right?”
“Yeah,
that’s why it hurt so bad. I was there for him through everything, then he
just turns around and goes with her.”
“But
he didn’t, have sex with her I mean, he couldn’t have. I’m telling you, I
used to punish unfaithful males from just about every conceivable species, and
werewolves can’t cheat. Although since you’re human I’m sure his intent
was not to hurt you, just to bite you, that way he could make sure you’d be
safe from any other females like Veruca.”
“But,
I always thought...”
”You
mortals, I’m 1100 years old does anyone think to ask me the simplest
questions? No, of course not, you run around willy-nilly never looking past the
tip of your own nose.” Anya sniffed loudly and flounced back into the house.