“I had some things I wanted to get off my chest. Last time I checked it wasn’t a crime.” Tara huffed nastily.

 

“No, but timing is everything. Did that little concept occur to you? I know Oz coming home is making things...difficult, but we just got Buffy back and she needs us, all of us to be there for her. Not quibbling like spoiled children, least of all over things best discussed privately.” Willow’s voice was calm, but her eyes were flashing angrily.

 

“What the hell is going on?!” Joyce hissed, as she stalked down the steps. Coming to a stop just behind Willow, she said “All of you need to take a breath and then take yourselves away from each other, now!”

 

Xander shrugged and turned to Oz, “I need to blow off some steam, you feel up to going on a food run with me?”

 

“Yeah, but I’m driving.” Oz stepped back into the living room, “I’m going for food, anyone have a preference?” A chorus of calls rose, and after a few minutes a consensus was reached. “Right, five large pizzas it is, I’ll get some soda and stuff too. Ms. Summers, what do you think Buffy would like?”

 

“She’ll eat anything, you know that, but I’m guessing soup would be the best idea. We got some fluids into her earlier, but I’m sure she’s going to be hungry when she wakes up. And you probably need to get something for Angel and Spike as well. Just let me get my purse.”

 

“No need for that.” Giles murmured, pulling out several bills. “Here, get whatever is needed.”

 

“Speaking of Spike, shouldn’t he back by now?” Anya asked.

 

“He’s probably still working out his aggressions on Ligeia, that...or he gave her to Harmony. Either way, I’m happy he’s not here.” Xander replied, “G-man, what’s with the big moolah? We’re just going for pizza.”

 

“Yes well, Dr...” He cocked an eyebrow at the dark-skinned woman.

 

“Just call me Kai.” She said, with a tired smile, “I’m not one for formalities.”

 

“All right, Kai has phoned in several prescriptions for Buffy, you’ll need to retrieve those as well. And I think we could all use a drink. Single-malt scotch for me, get everyone else whatever they prefer.”

 

“Sure, how about you guys make a list?” Oz offered.

 

“Mind if I come with?” Willow asked, already reaching for a sweater.

 

“Yeah, I do. Oz and I, we’re having guy time. No offense.” Xander replied, his expression cold.

 

“None taken.”

 

“Willow, I need to talk to you.” Tara whined.

 

“You’re not going to stop are you? Fine, let’s just go outside.” Willow snapped.

 

 

“So, what’s your problem with Tara?” Oz asked softly.

 

“It’s kind of hard to explain, it’s not the gay thing exactly. I mean that was a surprise, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not that big of an issue, you know? I mean the possibility of dying every other day or so, it tends to make shit like that not an issue, it’s the other stuff that bothers me.”

 

“Like?”

 

“She’s always around, I mean we’re talking 24-7, if you’re looking for Willow, chances are Tara’s right behind her.”

 

“So? Me and Will were practically joined at the hip?”

 

“Yeah...but you did other stuff. You had the band and all, and Willow still went places without you. Now, it’s like a major event if Willow wants to go out by herself, and even when she does, it’s for like an hour or so, then Tara’s calling her. I mean, she got her a fucking beeper for chrissakes!”

 

“That’s still not that major, I mean maybe that’s just the way they are.”

 

“It’s not just that, Willow’s different now. You remember how her and Buff used to hang out? They’d go to the Bronze and scope guys? Irritating but normal? Tara like flips out if Willow makes even a minor comment, about a guy or a girl.” At the skeptical look on Oz’s face, he sighed and said, “I’ll accept that it sounds a little irrational, none of it is major, its just a feeling I’ve had lately...Like for Willow this relationship is fun and she cares, but it’s not a forever thing for her. Tara on the other hand, she worries me, mostly because I think for her this is it. Not so much ‘cause she loves Will, more like she’s decided this is her life. Her family is...jacked up, and at first I thought she’d calm down, but lately especially since Riley left, it’s like she’s afraid Willow thinks of her the same way Buffy saw Riley...” The tall dark-haired man trailed off as he realized the truth of his words.

 

“How?”

 

“Hunh?”

 

“H-how did Buffy see Riley?” Oz asked, his heart suddenly in his throat.

 

“Like a replacement, not even a very good one...I never fully realized that until now, that’s part of why he left, he knew she didn’t really love him, even when we kept trying to convince her she should. Fuck me, I’m over being pissed at Tara now, now I just feel sorry for her.”

 

“You really think Willow...” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

 

“Still has it for you? Yeah, I do...especially since she doesn’t have to worry about you eating her anymore, right?” Concern for his best friend suddenly lacing his voice, as they pulled into a parking spot in front of the pharmacy, he turned to face the smaller man, “I mean, the whole thing last night, you were just showing off, you not gonna like wolf out and eat Willow or anything?”

 

“No,  I finally learned how to control my change, I’m never going to be anything but a wolf, but that doesn’t mean I’m an animal.”

 

“You seem different now, happier, a lot more verbal.” Xander couldn’t resist laughing suddenly, when Willow and Oz had been together, he hadn’t liked the older man, now he understood so much more about relationships, and odd as he and Anya’s seemed to be, he knew in that moment he’d finally grown up.

 

“You too, you’re not as nervous or something.” They split up to get the food and prescriptions, finally meeting back up at the liquor store.

 

“Now that we’ve gotten the food and stuff, maybe we should go by Spike’s. When I was getting the medicine for Buffy, I couldn’t help thinking about what happened, I want...no, I need to be sure Willow’s safe.” Oz swallowed convulsively, his suddenly filled with image of his Willow in the same shape as Buffy.

 

“I wouldn’t really recommend that, trust me Ligeia’s not going anywhere.” Xander settled the cases of beer they’d just bought in the backseat next to the pizza boxes.

 

“How can you be so sure? I know Spike’s been fixed, but he’s still not the poster child for good guys.”

 

“Something he said last night,...Druscilla, well Ligeia had a sister, she did much the same thing to Dru, that’s why I wanted Spike to be the one to watch her. I’m pretty sure Angel could do the deed, but he’d probably feel bad afterwards, Spike, well he’ll do whatever it takes.”

 

“Translation: you’re thinking he’s torturing Ligeia, or he’s already killed her, either way you don’t want to interrupt.”

 

“Pretty much, I know it’s wrong but I keeping thinking it could have been any of the girls. They were after Anya for a while you know?”

 

“Yeah, speaking of which, how’s that going?”

 

“Great.”

 

They drove off quickly, each of them suddenly having an uncontrollable urge to see the women they loved. The time passed quickly, two old friends catching up.

 

 

 “Wake up, bitch!” Spike yelled, just before backhanding Ligeia, “I didn’t give you permission to sleep.”

 

“Who do you think we are?” She snapped in response, struggling at the chains that bound her wrists and ankles.

 

“I don’t think you’re anything pet, except my very own personal brand-new toy.” At the horrified expression on her face, he couldn’t repress a giggle. “That is your term, isn’t it?, ‘toy’ that’s what you called my Dru, and the Slayer, come to think of it, you were planning on giving Red the same treatment, weren’t you?” He purred softly, “Now, I’ve never been one for torturing women, that was always more my Sire’s style, but for you pet, I’m going to make an exception...Hmmm, you smell so good, fear is such a wonderful odor...” He smirked when her eyes widened in horror, “Oh, trying to figure out why that spell you’ve been trying to cast for the past few seconds isn’t working? Well it’s very simple pet, Red pulled your claws, a nice binding spell, one woven with hair and blood, and hate, that emotion you inspire so well. You can’t even kill yourself, but I on the other hand, I can do anything to you, anything at all.” To prove his point he struck her again, this time in the stomach, ”My dark little princess suffered so, first Angelus,” He rapped her sharply, this time in the face. “Then your bitch of a sister, I killed her for my princess, left you her heart, it wasn’t enough of course, I was too angry to think clearly, to plan all those little ways to make her death last, yours on the other hand, I can probably drag it out for the next 40 years, longer if I change you...” He grinned at the horrified look on her face, “Say something pet, make it fast though, in a minute you’re not going to be able to.”

 

“Y-you will not do this to us.” Her voice was shrill, Spike had walked in circles around her the whole time he  was talking, knowing her instinct would be to try keep an eye on him purposely disorienting her, now her eyes were rolling in her head, and the stench of her fear was beginning to fill the room.

 

“First off, this is my party, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, second, you can drop that little ‘we’ bullshit. You’re alone, with me, and if I hear you refer to yourself like that again, well you’re going to start praying for more of the little love taps I’ve been giving you. Understand?”

 

“No, we are...” Her words were cut off by a barrage of blows, Spike snatched up an old whip, left over from one of Harmony’s attempts to make Spike forget Druscilla. He avoided damaging her badly, instead he struck at the areas he knew would cause the most pain, her inner thigh, under her arms, and her lower back.

 

“I. Warned. You.” Each word was punctuated with a blow, “Now, we’re going to try this again.” He stopped, peered at her tear-streaked face, she hadn’t screamed once, *Amazing, but then again, I haven’t hit her very hard, at least not yet*. “I’ll ask again, do you understand?” At the look of determination on her face he laughed, “You really are a dumb cunt, that’s okay, I’ve got all the time in the world, and by the time my princess gets here you’ll be ready to apologize, and if you’re not?...Well, I’m sure the two of us will think of something.” He paused to light a cigarette, taking his time, enjoying the smell of her pain and confusion.

 

“We...I” She corrected herself hastily at the look his face, “I’m confused, why didn’t you just kill me?”

 

“Because that would have been too easy, I want you to pay for what you did.” He gave her a cold smile, “I never gave you permission to ask a question, pity, now I have to punish you again.” Before she could react, he pressed the lit cigarette to the soft skin in the hollow of her throat. He couldn’t help laughing while she screamed.

 

 

“We’re back.” Xander and Oz chorused, as they came through the door. A few seconds later the masses descended, stripping them of both food and drink.

 

“Here’s the medicine, and we got her chicken soup from the deli. Oh, and here’s the stuff for Angel.” Oz said, handing packages to Joyce and Giles.

 

“Thanks, I’ll heat this up and take a tray to them. Rupert, while I’m doing this, will you go see if you can convince Angel to take a break? At least long enough for you to check his side?” Joyce asked, on her way into the kitchen. 

 

“I’ll try, he was asleep on the floor the last time I went up, I’d rather wait till after he’s eaten. It’ll be easier to judge his condition. Oh, Oz did the rest of your pack leave?”

 

“Most of them crashed at my place, but by now a few of them are probably on their way home. The rest won’t hang around long, wolves hate the way the Hell mouth smells.”

 

“Really? I never knew that, although I suppose that explains why Sunnydale has so few of them.” Giles commented.

 

“Yep, Kai will hang around for a while, just to make sure Buffy’s okay, umm...where’s Willow?” Oz queried, his eyes sweeping the room nervously.

 

“She went outside with Tara, they’re fighting about you.” Anya responded.

 

“Oh, I guess I’ll just sit here then.”

 

“That would probably be best, Xander says that break-ups are hard on people, all that messy crying. That’s what Buffy did after Angel left. Besides, it shouldn’t take long for Tara to get all flustered and stop making sense. I don’t understand why Willow bothers with her, she’s very hard to talk to.”

 

“Anya, we talked about this, tact...remember?”

 

“I forgot”, turning to Oz she said, “I’m not supposed to say the truth all the time, sometimes  I’m supposed to lie, when I lie about what everyone’s thinking, then I’m being tactful. I’m still not sure why I want to be tactful.”

 

“You don’t,” Cordelia put in from the doorway, “At least, I’m never tactful, and really it makes things easy. You just keep saying exactly what you’re thinking, whenever you’re thinking it, and most people will admire that. The one’s who don’t, “ She waved her hand in dismissal, “they don’t matter.”

 

“Delia, don’t tell her that.” Gunn admonished.

 

“Look, I haven’t heard her say anything I wouldn’t. Tara seems like a nice girl, but I get the feeling she’d rather be anywhere but here. She’s only helping out because of Willow, and since Oz is back, I’m guessing things are going to be ugly. Now, how’s Buffy?”

 

“I’m my way up, why don’t you come with, and see for yourself?” Joyce said over her shoulder, already on her way to the stairs. “Kai, should I try to give her any of the medication now?”

 

“No, I gave her a shot of wide spectrum antibiotics earlier, her throat was extremely swollen when I examined her, so she may need some help swallowing that soup.”

 

“Cordy, do you mind? Angel needs to eat, and I’m not sure I can feed Buffy by myself.” 

 

“Okay, did you heat up Angel’s ‘food’?, he hates it cold.”

 

“So does Spike, I even have a couple of special mugs.”

 

“I so don’t understand the Spike thing, but I’m glad he was there.” As they came to the door, Cordelia snuck a peek at Joyce’s face. “You seem calmer about Angel, I’m glad.” At the stricken look on the older woman’s face, Cordelia took the tray from her.

 

“I asked him to leave because I thought it would be better for her, I was wrong. Now, I just have to figure out a way to make it up to her. This seems like a good place to start.” Joyce took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

 

 

“Willow, I almost died today. You don’t even seem to care, it’s all about your friends...and him.”

 

“Tara, last time I checked, the reason you didn’t die was as you put it...him. If Oz hadn’t jumped in front of you, we wouldn’t be here fighting right now.”

 

“I know that, you don’t think I know that?!” Tara was nearly screaming now, “But he’s a werewolf, if he gets hurt, he’ll be fine as long as it wasn’t done with silver, I’m human, there is no special thing about me! You’re human too, that could have been you, instead of Buffy, have you even thought about that? I have, I worry about you all the time, and every few days it seems like I’m sitting somewhere with my heart in my throat!  We won this time, this time, next time could be a completely different story.”

 

“I know all of this, I knew after we first started helping Buffy. When the Master rose, I was right there, when Angel went bad, I was there again, you think Buffy and Giles haven’t tried to keep us out of it? I can’t do that, I know what goes bump in the night now, and I will not leave my friends to face it alone! I’m sorry you’re so worried, but this who I am, I could have gone to college anywhere, but I’m not abandoning my friends. If you can’t deal with that, then there’s nothing I can say. I love you, you know that, but I can’t just turn my back on my life.”

 

“You ‘love’ me? Since when? If you loved me I wouldn’t have to fight for your attention, I wouldn’t always come second, I wouldn’t always be on the outside of your life looking in!” Tara burst into tears, “I’m not that important to you, I’m just this supporting character in the Willow show, I’ve got no friends other than yours, because I can’t tell anyone the truth. I can’t talk to anyone other than your friends when I’m scared, or worried, and none of them like me.  I’m so lonely, all the time I spend away from you, I spend alone, and no matter what anyone says, that’s not normal. I thought I could stand it, but I can’t, I-I met someone a few weeks ago, and we could have something, something normal. No secrets, no hysterical phone calls in the middle of the night, no demons other than the ones in our heads, just two girls in college.”

 

“Well now I know where I stand, all this crap about Oz was just an excuse! You’ve been cheating on me, that’s why you didn’t say anything about me hanging out with Buffy the other night. Let me guess, its Sara isn’t it? Well, that’ll be cute, Tara and Sara, how sweet. Gods, I think I’m going to be sick, actually I know I am. Do me a favor, stay away from me, I’ll come by to pack my stuff later.” Willow was hugging herself, clutching at her stomach, trying to keep the gorge from rising.

 

“I never cheated on you, I just made a friend who might be something more, I wasn’t going to go anywhere with it at first. Then Oz came back, and I saw my future. We would have stayed together for a while, but eventually you were going back to Oz. I’m not blind or dumb, after he came back the first time I did a little research, wolves mate for life, did you know that? I love you, but I know I’m not ready for forever. I know I was the one pushing for commitment at first, but lately I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I realized I’m just scared of being alone and last night I decided I don’t want to be that person. I want to be normal, my whole life I that’s the only thing I wanted and I can’t do that and be with you.

 

“Well now you’re going to get exactly what you want. Pity, it’s at my expense, but hey, I’m happy you’re happy. Just don’t try to turn this around on me, I never said a word about going back to him. You decided what I was going to do, you decided this was over, not me, and you chose this!”

 

“Look, I wish things could be different, but I’m turning into this person I don’t much like, the more time we spend as a couple, the less I recognize myself. I used to have a life of my own, not much of one maybe, but it was mine. Now I’m your girlfriend, and that’s it!” Tara felt the last of her anger melt away, she’d been so upset for so long, and now that she was finally free, she felt bad for taking it out on Willow. She knew Sara had a thing for her girlfriend, she’d even tried to ask Tara about it a few times, but she’d always dismissed it as Willow being paranoid. Even when Sara made her intentions clear, Tara had continued to lie to Willow, she felt terrible about it, but confrontation was never her strong suit.  If Oz hadn’t come back things still would have come to the same conclusion, only not quite as fast. Her own fears had finally pushed her to say what was necessary.  “Can we still be friends? I know that’s a cliché, but I mean it. Can we?”

 

“Maybe later, for now can you please just go away? I need to be hysterical, and I refuse to do it with an audience.”

 

“I’m sorry, I’ll see you later, just give me a call when you want to pick up your stuff. I’ll make sure I’m not around.” When Willow didn’t respond, Tara shrugged, “Do you want me to get someone?”

 

“No, I just want you to go away. Now.” Willow hissed.

 

 

“Here’s food for you, and soup for Buffy. Has she woken up yet?” Cordelia squatted next to the bed, ”Have you gotten around to taking a shower yet? I mean, I know vamps don’t sweat, but you reek of demon goo.”

 

“I can’t leave until I know she’s okay.” Angel replied, his eyes fixed on Buffy.

 

“At least eat something, here.” She shoved the mug of blood at him, “Did the doctor say it was okay for her to be unconscious this long?”

 

“She’s not happy about it, but it’s normal for someone who’s lost as much blood as Buffy to be out of it for a while, besides Slayers tend to sleep while their injuries are healing.”

 

“Oh, well we brought soup for her, I guess it can wait.”

 

“No, she’s hungry, I can hear her stomach, and food might help her wake up. Joyce? Do you have any straws?”

 

“Right here, I figured her mouth might hurt too much for a spoon, besides she loves...”

 

“Straws when she’s sick, yeah I know. I used to keep a ton of them around.” He shook his head at the memory, with a few gulps he drained the mug. “I’m going to prop her up, can one of you hold the straw?”

 

“Here, Cordelia you hold the soup. I’ll rub her throat, it’ll help her swallow.” Joyce and Cordelia arranged themselves quickly, after a few tries, and several minutes of sucking their efforts were rewarded by the sight of a half-empty bowl of soup.  “We should give her a minute, make sure it’s not too hard on her stomach.”

 

“She’s not hungry anymore anyway, her stomach’s stopped growling.”

 

“Good, now we’ll stay here, you go take a shower, and make sure you let Giles look at your side. Don’t even think about arguing with me.” Cordelia helped Angel lower Buffy to the bed, then pointed at the door. “Now, go take care of yourself.”

 

“Fine, I’ll take a shower, but I’m only taking a short one, and I just ate, so my side is fine. Did you bring my clothes back with you?”

 

“Yes, Gunn remembered, they’re downstairs. We need to take you shopping though, black is so passe.”

 

Angel didn’t bother to respond, just paused to kiss Buffy’s forehead, whispering, “I’ll be back in a bit, I love you.”

 

 

“Hey G-man, you okay?” Xander wandered into the kitchen, and was surprised to find Giles crouched on the floor.

 

“Y-yes I dropped a glass that’s all.” He responded, surreptitiously wiping his eyes with back of his hand.

 

“Unh-hunh, next you’ll be telling me it was the onions, which coincidentally I’m not seeing. She’s home now and she’s going to be fine.”

 

“I know she’s safe for now, but this thing with Glory isn’t going away, and right now instead of being in a hospital, she’s here. She went through a horrible ordeal, and I’m going to have to ask her to go back out there. She’s been through so much, and everyday she goes out there is another day she risks her life. I love her like a daughter, and instead of her growing up, getting married and having children, she’s fighting demons and spending her life alone. It’s not fair Xander, none of you should have to face the things you do.” Giles gulped for air, his eyes fixed on the floor. He hadn’t meant to lose control in front of the younger man, after all he was the group’s father figure. He was shocked when he finally looked up and found Xander crying as well.

 

“I know she’s the Chosen One , but you’re right it’s not fair. None of it is, we won’t even talk about how much her regular life has sucked. This just seems like some horrible nightmare. But it’s not is it? I still haven’t been able to go up there, I know I should, but when I do, it’s going to be real and I can’t even begin to think of how to deal with it. I keep telling myself she’s strong, that she can handle anything life or this place,” He waved a trembling hand, seeming to encompass all of Sunnydale, “throws at her, but I know that’s a lie. No one can handle this much shit, I mean I know I couldn’t. Anya and I were talking about marriage a few days ago, and I had this pleasant little daydream about our lives, you know? Only, Buffy won’t get that life, and truth be told, neither will we, instead we’ll keep fighting to save her and the world, from things that have no business existing!” He broke down then, kneeling besides Giles on the floor, the two of them crying out their pain.

 

 

“Hey, is this a private hysterical moment? Or can I join in?” Anya asked softly, she’d seen Tara light out like her hair was on fire. Since no one else was around to ask what to do, she decided to do like Xander always did when someone was upset, go ask them what was upsetting them. Tara had stopped long enough to tell her to go check on Willow.

 

“I’m not hysterical, I’m just upset.” Willow snapped.

 

“Oh, Tara said you were hysterical. Why are you upset?” Anya asked, looking down at the kneeling witch. She knew Xander would probably have sat down beside her, but she’d just showered and changed, and she didn’t want to get mud on her pants.

 

“Do you care?”

 

“Probably not, but Xander says I’m supposed to so I’ll try.” She glanced around, she’d never been in Buffy’s back yard, it was kind of pretty. Lots of trees, none of those annoying buzzing things, though she supposed that could be because of all the rain. *I’m glad it stopped, wonder if Spike killed that bitch yet?*

 

“Tara and I broke up.” Willow responded, peering up at Anya.

 

“Good, now you can have sex with Oz.” Anya replied, nonchalantly.

 

“Who said I wanted sex with Oz? Why does everyone think I’m going back to him?!”

 

“Well, otherwise he’ll be alone for the rest of his life, I thought that was something you would want to prevent. Unless you’re still punishing him for leaving you?”

 

“No, of course not. What do you mean he’ll be alone?”

 

“Werewolves mate for life, didn’t you know that?”

 

“Tara said something like that, but it’s not true, Oz cheated on me with Veruca.” Willow had stopped crying, she stood up, facing Anya, “Of course Tara’s been cheating on me too, I have such good luck in relationships.”

 

“I thought Veruca was that girl-wolf Oz killed?”

 

“He did, then he tried to kill me.”

 

He told you he slept with her?”

 

“No, he said she had to share his cage, to keep her from hurting anybody, but they were naked and stuff, and he couldn’t remember what happened.”

 

“But you conjugated with him?, before that night right?”

 

“Yeah, that’s why it hurt so bad. I was there for him through everything, then he just turns around and goes with her.”

 

“But he didn’t, have sex with her I mean, he couldn’t have. I’m telling you, I used to punish unfaithful males from just about every conceivable species, and werewolves can’t cheat. Although since you’re human I’m sure his intent was not to hurt you, just to bite you, that way he could make sure you’d be safe from any other females like Veruca.”

 

“But, I always thought...”

 

”You mortals, I’m 1100 years old does anyone think to ask me the simplest questions? No, of course not, you run around willy-nilly never looking past the tip of your own nose.” Anya sniffed loudly and flounced back into the house.

 

Willow stood there for a while, thinking about Anya’s words, and Tara’s. *Maybe everyone has a point, I was thinking about taking a break from Tara to sort stuff out...and I knew something was going to have to give sooner or later. Tara’s been unhappy for a while, and much as I hate to admit it, I have been feeling kind of funny about Oz coming home.*  

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