It’s over. The hellbitch is gone and we’re all—bloody miraculously—still here. Still here and pulling up to the house on Revello Drive in Ben’s car. The Niblet’s still asleep against my shoulder. Poor kid’s been to hell and back—literally. She’s exhausted from lack of sleep, loss of blood, sheer terror. I’ll give her a little shake to wake her….Nah, I’ll just carry her.
********
It’s over. And here we are. All of us—incredibly—made it through the nightmare in one piece. Glory’s gone, and I’ve got my sister. My friends, what’s left of my family—still here. God, what would I have done if…no, can’t think about it. Won’t. And him. Where does he fit in? Friend? Foe? Something in between? Who knows. But he’s part of our lives, now. Dawn’s and mine. I won’t forget what he did. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.
********
The trip back here—the Watcher driving, Buffy up front. That was weird—surreal, almost. I was so out of it, with the pain, the broken bones. In and out of it. The only thing that felt real was the little one, leaning up against me. Like she trusted me to protect her. Good instincts, kiddo—I’d lay down my life a hundred more times if it meant keeping you safe. And I think you know it. Big sis, on the other hand…she’ll never forget what I am. And she shouldn’t—it’d be stupid. But if she trusts me with you, well, that’s a start. I want you in my life—my unlife—whatever this is. I need something real.
********
Huh. That moment, driving back home. That moment when I turned around and saw him—huddled under a blanket for protection from the sun. And Dawn, sleeping with her head on his shoulder, natural as could be. Six months ago, I never could have imagined it. Hell, I’d have committed myself for even thinking it—but now it’s happened. I trust him. I don’t hate him. And I’m praying that I’ll never have to kill him. Whatever’s made him this way—or allowed him to be this way—God, please let it stay. Because I don’t want to deal with the consequences if he ever turns…back.
********
All right, walking up the path now. The others just pulled up in the other car I helped them “borrow.” They’re heading on into the house. Looks like they plan to crash here for the night—too damn tired to drag themselves home, no doubt. I know how they feel—I’m still riddled with fractures, and every one of ‘em’s screaming bloody murder at the moment. But I won’t be staying, of course. Hope she remembers about the spell before I have to humiliate myself. Oh, Little Bit’s waking up. Heh—she’s embarrassed to be carried—makes her feel like a baby. Okay, okay, I’ll put you down—gently, though. She’s safe, inside. Good.
********
Look at him—carrying my kid sister like she’s precious cargo. He’s right, of course. She is. But how can he do it? He must be in agony. I remember something Angel once said, about how a vamp’s bones heal fast, but not necessarily right. I mean, they haven’t been set, so they could be knitting up in all the wrong places. He could be hurting for the rest of his life just from helping me. Whatever, it was his choice. And he chose to help us. And now I have a choice to make.
********
“OK. Well then, Slayer…guess I’ll be off. It’s been fun—uh, tell Dawn I said good night…?”
She’s standing in the doorway. Amazingly, I can’t read her expression. Usually, her face is an open book to me, but this time…. But it doesn’t bloody well matter this time, that time, or any time, does it? Better get the hell out of here before I bollocks things up completely.
********
He’s standing on the doorstep, looking down at his boots. He doesn’t know what’s next. Like I do? Well, actually, I do, this time. He’s turning to go…
“Spike?”
********
What? What was that? The Slayer’s calling me back. Probably to tell me this was a one-off, we’re not friends, de-invitation still stands…. Should I pretend I didn’t hear? Bloody hell, who am I kidding? I’ve never been able to ignore her.
“Yeah?”
********
He’s looking at me, waiting for me to say the words. It shouldn’t be hard—three little words. I reach out my hand…
********
My God. She’s reaching out to me. And what did she just say? She said the words—I don’t believe it. Say them again, Buffy. Those three little words.
“Spike?”
“Yes, Buffy?”
I grasp her hand and step towards the doorway.
He’s crossing the threshold as I say the words.
“Please come in.”