Title: Nobody Knows It But Me
Author: Briony
E-mail: brionycain@yahoo.com
Feedback: yes, good or bad.  I can take it.
Rating: PG very angsty
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did there would be hugs and hot
chocolate for everyone.
Distribution: If you want it okay. Just let me know where please.
Summary: This is the sequel to Let Me Let Go. It's Angel's turn.
Pairing: It's all about B/A.
Timeline : The present  S/7, S/4
Author's Note: This is for those who requested another part. The song
is by Kevin Sharp. It's amazing sometimes what the radio and a long
car ride can do for your inspiration.

I pretend that I'm glad you went away.
these four walls closing more everyday
I'm dying inside and nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
the pain is real even if nobody knows
I'm crying inside and nobody knows it but me

"Oh my God, what have I done?
Angel stood in his room at the hotel staring out at the lights of the
city. He felt her heart break tonight, again.  He felt her soul
shatter as surely as he had been there himself for the deed. It was
his doing. He had broken his promise and forgot what he was doing all
this for. He had pushed her memory away and he had thought it was
truly gone. Like a wisp in the wind, a subconscious thought.
He had turned his back on her and left her alone.  He was a clown
that's all he was. He was busy being their smiling, joking clown. She
used to make me smile. She used to make me laugh. Me, the cradle-
robbing creature of the night boyfriend, laughing with the girl I
loved.

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just tumbling down
I can see it so clearly but your nowhere around
The nights are lonely the days are so sad
I just keep thinking bout the love we had
I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I just tell her I love her, that I will always love her.
She was always the angel, my angel of light who brightened my dark
world. She made me feel again. She made me want things I didn't
deserve. I said I left her for her but truth is I left her because I
am weak. Always have been always will be.

No one knows

But I know. I know what I am. I know the things I have done. But she
accepted me and loved me anyway. Angel, you're the one freaky thing
in my freaky world that still makes sense to me.

How blue can I get you can ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
a million words couldn't say just how I feel
a million years from now you know I'll be loving you still

What could I possibly say to her now? She forgave me, forgave the
demon inside of me but would she forgive me for breaking her heart
time and time again. I would come back into her life just to leave
her. I did it again and again. She asked me to stay but I always
turned away from her. Why didn't I stay? She was the best thing that
ever happened to me. I wandered 240 years before I found her. Then
what do I do? I give her up. Time and time again, I gave her up. I
will love her until the end. I know it's the truth. I can't say it
out loud but I know it inside my heart.

The nights are lonely the days are so sad
I just keep thinking about the love that we had
and I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

I can't tell them.  I miss you. I can't tell them I still love you.
They don't want to hear it. They won't even say your name out loud.
They tell me I love Cordelia. I know deep inside its not true.
They want to pretend your still dead. You are always alive in my
dreams.

Nobody
No one knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows it but me

Nobody, no one knows. Nobody knows. Nobody knows it but me.
Lorne is standing in my doorway shaking his head sadly.
"That's where your wrong Angel boy. I know."

The End