Title:- Can’t Let You Go

Authors’ name:- Cat

E-mail:- Cathy@edcom-int.com

Disclaimer:- Yeah, I own them. (in my dreams). Just borrowing them for a while.

Distribution:- http://www.geocities.com/fallenangel0206/CatsFanfic.html

Spoilers:- None at all. totally AU.

Rating:- NC-17

Parings:- Buffy/Angelus

Summary:- Buffy and Angelus are getting divorced. Is their any hope for our favourite couple?

Feedback:- Please. It’s like a drug. I’m a feedback junkie.

Authors Notes:- A lot of this story is told in flashback. I hope I’ve made those parts clear.

Chapter 1

Buffy turned away from the cash desk and walked straight into a chest.

Slowly she looked up, knowing full well whom she was going to see there. She looked up into two deep brown eyes but the expression was one she still wasn’t used to. It was cold and hard. A face he used to use only on other people, now he used it on her too.

Buffy knew she should speak, at least apologise for bumping into him but she couldn’t. The words wouldn’t form.

"Excuse me." He bit out, as he stepped around her and walked off. Buffy looked after him until he was out of sight, he didn’t even look back.

With a heavy heart she decided a caffeine boost was needed and headed for the closest coffee shop. Dumping her shopping bags she ordered a coffee and took a seat outside where she could smoke. She took a cigar out of its wrapping and lit it.

She didn’t used to smoke. But he did and she grew to love the smell of his cigars. She found that now, at the painful times she could fool her body slightly with the smell of them. She took a long puff and left the cigar in the ashtray to burn. He always smoked Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur at $8.73 each. Buffy just bought the miniature ones at $6.95 for 20.

It hadn’t always been this way. Once it had been perfect.

Buffy sipped her coffee wondering where things had gone so wrong. There were a hundred problems, she decided, she couldn’t possibly have fixed them all, even if she had known what they were.

But that wasn’t true. There was only one problem. There had only ever been one as far as Buffy was concerned.

~~Buffy pulled into the driveway to see Angelus’ silver Ford Taurus parked in the driveway. She smiled. He hadn’t been making it home very early these days.

There was also another car, a blue BMW so Buffy assumed they had company for dinner. It often happened that he’d bring a client home with him, usually out of towners so they could feel at home instead of having to eat at their hotel. And of course this made them more likely to do business with Angelus.

She walked into the house, hung her coat up and went in search of them. They weren’t in the usual places like the study or library. In fact they were nowhere on the ground floor.

Buffy wondered if he had taken the guest on a tour of the gardens or something. They had just been re-landscaped.

She would find them eventually she thought as she headed upstairs to change.

Her heart cracked as she rounded the corner on the stairs. Draped across the top two steps was a stocking.

She swallowed, not sure if she wanted to venture any further but also compelled to see for herself.

A collection of clothes led her to her bedroom door, like a breadcrumb trail. She heard low moans coning through the door, which was opened a crack.

She wanted to run, get out, be anywhere than outside that door. But she didn’t, she couldn’t. She pushed the door open to see her husband writhing about on the bed with a brunette woman.

Her heart didn’t quite break then. Not until she let out a small gasp and he noticed her. He looked over to her, grinning like a predator. That smug smirk she hated.

He was pleased with himself. He didn’t even have the decency to be ashamed.

As Buffy’s heart shattered in to a million pieces, she turned and fled, amazed when she reached the lower level without having fallen and broken her neck on the stairs.

She headed straight for the front door and ran out onto the driveway. She stood by her car, trying in vane to get her fingers to work and allow her to use the key to open her car door.

She stood a moment, taking deep lungfuls of fresh air.

It didn’t help the pain but her nerves calmed enough to allow her to open her door.

She quickly sped off down the long driveway. ~~

Buffy still didn’t know why he had done that. She guessed she never would now.

Chapter 2

Angelus stormed into his office, causing his two secretaries to share a knowing look, this afternoon was going to be difficult.

Mind you, no one could accuse Angelus of being in a good mood for at least six months. Not since his wife left him.

The intercom beeped. "Cindy, cancel my meetings." His disembodied voice snapped.

Cindy hesitated before pressing the reply button. "But the Morcom executives have flown in specially."

"I said cancel my meetings!" he snapped back.

"Yes sir."

Angelus walked over to the bar in his office and poured a large brandy. Taking a deep breath he headed over to the leather sofa and sank into it.

He shouldn’t let her get to him like that. One two second meeting and he was useless for the rest of the day.

It was her fault, looking up at him with those big, green eyes. Looking so innocent and hurt but still as sexy as the first time he saw her.

Yes, this was her fault. All of it.

Buffy walked into her shop and brewed the coffee, the staff would be in soon and everyone liked a fresh pot.

Her eyes were heavy this morning thanks to getting very little sleep. But then she often didn’t get much sleep these days.

Every letter from his lawyer, every approaching appointment to discuss dividing the assets, they all kept her awake worrying.

He was trying to take her shop from her, basically leave her with nothing, not even alimony if he could help it.

Buffy didn’t want his money but she did know where to hurt him. His wallet. If she could get a substantial share of his fortune she might just stand a chance of hurting him as much as he hurt her.

And no way in hell was he getting his hands on her shop. He had helped her set it up but she had paid his company the loans back. She owed him nothing and she was dammed if she was going to sacrifice all her work along with her marriage.

Slowly Buffy turned and surveyed her shop, so different from the way it had looked at first.

~ ~ "Can I take it off yet?" moaned Buffy, fiddling with the blindfold.

"Just be patient. We’re nearly there." He said as he guided her towards the door.

Buffy heard the clicks on her heals become sharper as they went inside.

"Are we here yet?"

"Yes, you can take it off."

Buffy removed the blindfold to see Angelus smiling at her. His eyes full of warmth and joy. She turned to look around.

"It’s a shop." She said confused.

"It’s your shop."

"My…. This is for me?" she asked, the excitement evident in her voice.

"All for you."

Buffy ran at him and he whisked her off her feet, twirling her around as she squealed in delight.

Putting her on the ground again he began to explain why he chose the shop.

"I know it’s a mess right now." He said referring to the debris lying around and the battered looking walls. "But we can soon fix that up. I figure we can partition the back off about here and you can use that as your workshop to cut and make the dresses, then out here we can have the ready made outfits. You can do some fantastic displays in the windows too."

Buffy followed him around, sharing his glee.

"This is amazing. Thank you so much." She said kissing him. "But I can’t accept."

"What? Why?" he asked confused.

"Because it wouldn’t be mine. It’s lovely, really. But I don’t want to bleed you dry."

"This will hardly bankrupt me Buffy."

"I know. I just…. I’ll need too much money to fill this place and buy material and mannequins. It just feels weird, you know, taking so much money from you?"

Angelus nodded. He did know how she didn’t like charity. He should have realised. "OK, how about a loan, one business to another. I’ll ask my accountant for a reasonable rate and he can draw up a repayment schedule."

Buffy’s eyes lit up. "A fair interest rate?"

"Of course."

Buffy squealed and ran into his arms again. "I love it. Thank you so much."

"Don’t thank me, just make it work." He said, grinning like a schoolboy.  ~ ~

"Hey Buffy."

Buffy looked up. "Oh, hey Will. How are you?"

"Better than you. You look like crap."

"Thanks, just what every girl wants to hear."

"You know what I mean." Said willow, getting two mugs out for the coffee. "What’s he done this time?"

"He wants all the marital assets."

"What! All of them."

"Yep, including this place."

"It’ll never happen Buffy, a judge will never allow that."

"Yeah, in theory. Doesn’t stop me worrying though."

Willow nodded her understanding. She had been with Buffy from the beginning and seen the high and low of the relationship. That was singular because up until Angelus cheated on her there were no lows but every day since had been a low.

Willow handed her a mug of coffee.

"So, what’s up for today?" asked Buffy.

"Sarah Cull is coming in for the final fitting on her wedding dress, Mrs Klein is coming in after lunch for some new outfits and Jeannette Simmons is collecting her dress for the Ice ball."

Buffy groaned. "When is the Ice Ball again?"

"Tomorrow night."

Buffy shook her head and took a seat, looking thoroughly dejected.

"He may not be there." Offered Willow.

"Yeah, ‘cos he’s gonna miss a chance to rub his latest conquest in my face."

"Well maybe you could not go."

"I have to Will, one of our dresses is on auction, we have to promote it and stuff. Besides, it’s for charity. And I’ll have you there."

"That’s the spirit, don’t let him get to you."

"I wont."

"Good."

"Yeah."

Chapter 3

As it turned out Angelus didn’t have a string of conquests since Buffy. Just Dru, the woman he had been caught with. She was easy, she was used to him and she put up with his mood swings.

She was also crazy at times but he didn’t see her often, just enough to rub Buffy’s nose into it. That’s what tonight was about, showing Dru off to Buffy.

Of course she paled in comparison to Buffy, no one had her luminance, charm, grace and beauty but Dru was a close second. When she wasn’t rambling that is.

He tied his bowtie and checked it in the mirror. The car with Dru in wasn’t here yet so he had a chance for a drink and a cigar before he left. He sat in the study facing the fireplace.

Buffy loved the fireplace in here. Often times they would curl up on the sofa in here and just watch it all evening, soft music playing in the background.

He never lit the fire any more; it hadn’t been on once since Buffy left. But he couldn’t help sitting here, staring at it. Dru knew never to come in her with him, this was his space now and heaven help anyone who tried to share it.

"Sir?"

Angelus looked towards Henry, one of his servants. Buffy had never called them that though, she said it was demeaning. He was an employee and his wife was the housekeeper.

"Yes." He answered wearily.

"The car is here sir."

"They can wait."

"Very good sir."

While Buffy was here, Sir was never used. Buffy didn’t like it so he called Henry by his first name and vice versa. Now she was gone though, it was back to servant and Sir.

Angelus finished his cigar and swallowed the last sip of brandy before heading out to the car.

"Is he here?" asked Willow.

Buffy looked at her. "How am I supposed to forget him if you keep reminding me?"

"Ooh, sorry."

Buffy shook her head. "I’m going to the bar, want something?"

"Wine please."

"Sure."

Buffy wandered over to the bar and ordered the drinks. They were all free at a charity event like this. Of course the guests had paid a huge donation for the privilege of dining here and being able to bid for the items on sale. Buffy’s ticket was free though since the dress she was donating would sell for a minimum if $1000 in any other circumstances.

"Two white wines please." She smiled at the bar tender.

He nodded and went to prepare them.

She smelt him before she saw him. His aroma was so familiar, Joop aftershave and Excalibur cigars. So welcoming. Except that he didn’t welcome her any more, he shunned her.

‘Don’t turn around, don’t turn around. Don’t look.’

The brunette stood next to her at the bar.

"Buffy isn’t it?" she asked in that annoying English accent of hers.

"Yes." She said, not looking at the other woman.

"I heard about your divorce."

"I guess you have since your sleeping with my husband."

"Ooh, mean." Dru said.

‘God, what does he see in that crazy bitch.’ Buffy wondered.

"Everything ok ladies?" said angelus.

"She was mean." Replied Dru.

Buffy took the wine glassed from the bartender and turned to face the happy couple. "I guess we’re even then." She smiled sweetly. "Have a nice evening."

She walked away, back to the safety of her best friend.

Angelus didn’t really care if Buffy had been mean to Dru. She didn’t really have it in her anyway; Dru was just being childlike again, making something out of nothing.

"Whiskey, on the rocks." He said to the bar tender before turning around to scan the crowd. He spotted Buffy instantly. He was like one of those seals on a crowded island that always recognised its mother. He would never forget Buffy and he was attuned for her. It also helped that she wore a stunning, red, backless, halter neck dress.

He could spot her anywhere. He wondered if that would ever go away.

~ ~ Buffy had been working in a coffee shop when he first met her. Every day before work he went to the same shop for a coffee and for the last three weeks she had always been there.

Today there was a lull in customer and he decided to make his move.

"Hi." He smiled sweetly.

"Black Italian roast?" said Buffy, knowing his preference by now.

"Yeah. And if you’re free, how about a date tonight." He flashed her his most charming smile.

"Thanks but I’m working."

"It’s just gone 8am so even if it’s a 12 hour shift you’d be free by 8."

Buffy handed him the Styrofoam mug and began cleaning the counter surfaces, not liking this conversation. Sure, he was gorgeous, charming and rich. But those types of men only wanted one thing from women like Buffy. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to be used.

Best case scenario, she’d end up as his mistress, be set up with an apartment and an allowance. But that wasn’t Buffy’s style.

"I’m not working here."

"Two jobs? I like ambition in my women."

"Thanks."

"So how about some other night?"

"I’m busy."

"Doing what?"

"My other job."

"Which is?"

Buffy had run out of surfaces to wipe. She looked over to him and sighed. "Dress making. I design dresses."

"Really? Where?"

"From my apartment right now, mainly for family and friends. Why do you think I work here? But hopefully I’ll get a boutique one day."

"So do you have a background in design?"

He was gradually wearing her down with his charm. "A design degree."

"Wow, so you just graduated?"

"A couple of months ago."

He smiled. "So is that really a no for tonight?"

She couldn’t help smiling back. "I’m afraid it is. I do have dresses to finish."

"Well, have a nice day, I’ll see you some other time."

"Yeah, you too."

Buffy realised that she had butterflies in her stomach as he left. She grabbed the counter top to steady herself and took some deep breaths.

He returned that afternoon, just before Buffy went of her shift.

She couldn’t help but smile at him. "What do you want?" she asked playfully.

She captivated Angelus. Her face and hair was damp with steam but instead of making her look dowdy, she glowed.

"I wondered if you’d heard of the Reichman Show on tomorrow night. I heard they’re quite an innovative house. "

Buffy chuckled. "Who hasn’t heard of them."

Angelus smirked. "Well I have two tickets but I can’t find anyone to go with me." He brandished two tickets and Buffy’s eyes widened as she took them.

"Oh wow." She said as she read them and confirmed they were indeed two tickets for that show, front row. "This is…. Wow. But I can’t accept." She said, her smile faltering. "I’m sorry." She handed the tickets back.

"Why not?"

Buffy took a deep breath. "Look, you’re a perfectly nice guy but I think you want something I’m not prepared to give. It’s best if we just leave things as they are."

Now she really had him. Being turned down once was unusual; being turned down twice was impossible. Unbeknownst to Buffy, she had just captured his heart.

"Please." He said sincerely. "You can meet me there and make your own way home. I wouldn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable."

"Meet you there?"

"Yeah." He handed her one ticket. "It’s up to you." He said flashing her one last smile and leaving.

"Was that Angelus asking you out?" asked Kelly, one of the other waitresses."

Buffy issued a breathless "Yeah."

"So, are you going?" asked Willow that evening.

"Pass me the pins." Asked Buffy as she considered her answer. "I don’t know. I mean it’s not something I could get tickets to alone. But what if he does want more than a date."

"I think you should go." Said Willow. "It’s a once in a lifetime thing, you probably wont get a chance to go again. And who knows, they may offer you a job."

Buffy smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm. "Yeah, and pigs might fly."

"Look, Oz and I will drop you off and pick you up, how does that sound?"

"Mmm."

"No temptation there at all."

Buffy pursed her lips. "I dunno."

"Look, you’re going. If only because I want to hear all about it."

"Yes Ma’am." Said Buffy playfully before her expression fell. "Oh god, what am I going to wear?" ~ ~

Buffy returned to Willow and gave her the drink.

"He’s watching you." Said Willow.

"I figured."

"There’s been some interest in the dress." Said willow, trying to distract Buffy.

"Who from?"

"Mrs Shand and Mr Hodder. I think he’s going to win the bidding. He wants a new dress for his wife as their anniversary present."

Buffy smiled. "You really should have been in sales Will."

"Nah, these babies sell themselves." He joked referring to the portfolio of sketches on show.

"I wish." Buffy turned to survey the crowd. "Good turnout."

"Yeah. The meal’s in a few minutes, wanna go to the table?"

"Sure."

Chapter 4

Buffy sat through a boring meal with three couples she knew only socially. All three women were housewives, born to money who could speak of nothing but their latest holiday or purchase while the husbands sat almost silently. Buffy knew that later they would all group up somewhere and discuss business, women and wine. In that order.

Buffy heard a class being tapped with a knife and turned to the stage.

"Ladies and gentleman, if I could have your attention please. The final bids for the items on offer are in. We are all here for the children of course. As you all know the proceeds from tonight will be going to the HOP trust for underprivileged kids so before I begin I’d like to thank all of you for your support tonight." He was handed a white envelope, which he opened. "Nerve wracking isn’t it?" he joked as he pulled the sheets of paper out. The crowd laughed politely.

He began reading each item out and the winning bid. The donator of each item and the bidder then stood up to receive applause and be photographed.

"Next…. An exclusive dress designed by Summers Fashions goes for…. $1775. Mrs Buffy O’Connor donated the dress and the winning bid comes from…. Oh my…. Mr O’Connor."

Buffy looked to Willow. "What the hell is he doing?" she asked through clenched teeth.

Willow shrugged.

"Aww, come on, don’t be shy, stand up and take the applause."

Buffy fixed a faux smile on her face and stood up as the cameras began snapping her and her estranged husband. She made sure not to look over at him.

"Next we have set of six boating lessons donated by…."

Buffy sat down and gulped her wine down wondering what the hell he was playing at.

Angelus wasn’t sure why he bid on the dress. Sure, it deserved to go for a fair price but it surely would have anyway.

He didn’t want the contact with the bitch, that was for sure. He supposed it was protecting his investment. Yes, that was it. When he got control of the shop he wanted it to be doing well and that little stunt would provide some free publicity.

Angelus pulled a cigar out and got up from the table. He didn’t even bother telling Dru where he was going. She didn’t seem to notice him leave.

He walked out through the hotel lobby into one of its bars and took a seat at the bar.

He ordered a drink and sat there smoking his cigar.

"Want some company?" asked a pleasant female voice.

"Not right now." He said staring straight ahead.

"Aww, come on, might be fun. Save you looking so depressed at least."

Angelus turned to the woman. She was a typical hopeful, looking for someone rich to marry and trying to look like she was in the same class. She almost succeeded except for slightly too much makeup and a dress at least two sizes too tight.

Buffy never even tried to look like she was rich but she had a class that couldn’t be denied. She didn’t even have to try.

~ ~ Buffy was nervous as she arrived for the fashion show. She handed her ticket to the doorman and walked into the hotel lobby. Angelus spotted her immediately as she scanned the crowd for him.

She wore a simple black, sleeveless, knee length dress and coupled it with a crochet deep red cardigan. Her hair was swept up in a simple French pleat. She looked stunning

He walked over to her and her face lit up in a smile as she spotted a friendly face. He snatched two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed her one.

"Hi." She smiled.

"I’m glad you made it."

They eventually settled in their seats to watch the show but Angelus was moor interested in watching her, sneaking sidelong glances at her while she watched the models.

As the event drew to a close he tried to invite her to dinner or drinks but she begged off.

"My friends are picking me up, I’m sorry."

He took it gracefully. "Maybe we can do it again some time."

Buffy hesitated. "Sure, I’d like that."

"Let me wait with you until your friends come."

"OK,"

They stood by the roadside together, huddles against the chill of the night air.

"Who’s picking you up?" he asked.

"Willow, my best friend and her boyfriend, Oz."

"If it’s out of their way I can have a car drive you."

"Thanks, but Oz has a gig fairly close by."

"He’s a musician?"

"Yeah, pretty good too."

Finally a battered van pulled up.

"That’s them." Said Buffy, turning to him. "Thanks for a nice evening." She said, giving him a small kiss on his cheek before ducking into the van.

Angelus was a little shocked to see a van picking her up but she didn’t seem to even notice. The doorman shot dirty looks at the van and Buffy as she climbed into the back but she just smiled at Angelus and waved until the door was pulled closed. ~ ~

"I’m fine. Really." Said Angelus, looking back to the woman beside him.

She took the bar stool next to him anyway.

"Whiskey and water." She said to the barman, expecting Angelus to offer to pick up the tab. He didn’t and she paid cash.

She was undeterred though and turned to him.

"So, what brings you here?"

‘Like you don’t know.’ Thought Angelus. These things always attracted her type. They would wait around outside, looking for anyone with some money.

"I’m here for the charity auction." He replied simply.

"Ooh, sounds fun. Did you bid on anything?"

"One of my wife’s dresses."

Her face froze for a second. "That’s nice. Where is your wife?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Still in there."

"Well, if you was my man I wouldn’t be leaving you alone, I can promise you that."

"But I’m not. And she wont be my wife for long. She’s divorcing me."

"Aww, honey, that’s too bad."

"No, it’s not. She killed my child."

Her features froze again. "She what?"

"Killed my child. Aborted it."

"Oh you poor soul."

"I’ll live."

"But still that has to hurt."

"Hence the divorce." He turned to her. "And if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone. I really don’t want another gold digger right now."

The woman actually looked hurt. "I’m sorry. I was only trying to be nice." She turned on her stool and stood up. "Sorry if I bothered you."

Angelus looked back to his drink. He had been a little harsh on her but he couldn’t care right now. She had drenched up memories he tried to suppress and they occupied him right now.

 ~ ~ "What’s this?" asked Angelus looking at a black and white photo of Buffy.

"That’s Buffy, and that’s an abortion clinic." Said Penn.

"What are you saying?"

"I’m saying that Buffy didn’t loose her baby, she aborted it and if she hadn’t started bleeding out from complications, she would never have told you."

"No." he whispered.

"Yes. I’m sorry Angelus but she killed your baby. Your son."

He looked up into Penn’s eyes. "It was a boy?"

He nodded. "We were able to bribe some people there to get more information. She was having your son."

Angelus looked back at the photo, unable to deny the truth. Tears stung his eyes but he refused to give in to them. He picked up a glass paperweight from his desk and hurled it against the wall, shattering it in a million peaces.  ~ ~

Chapter 5

Buffy collected her coat at the end of the evening and turned to see Angelus behind her. His features were initially pained but soon masked by the anger she was growing used to.

She didn’t speak; she didn’t know what to say to him so she simply went to walk past him.

He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

"What!" she asked, scared by this sudden gesture.

"Why?" he almost growled.

"I didn’t sleep with the whore, ask yourself that question." She spat back, yanking her arm out of his grip and walking away.

She did her best not to look back at him; she wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. She turned the corner and saw Willow walking towards her. Willow quickened her pace as she saw the pain on Buffy’s face.

"Buffy. What’s wrong?" she asked as Buffy’s tears overflowed.

"He hates me." She sobbed.

Willow couldn’t argue, she simply pulled Buffy into a hug and waited until her tears abated.

Buffy lay in bed that evening, knowing sleep would be elusive again.

Nine months ago things had been wonderful. She had a husband who loved her, a thriving business and good friends.

Two months later they had been perfect. She had discovered she was pregnant.

~ ~ Buffy was in heaven. Almost.

Her doctor had confirmed she was pregnant that morning. The only thing spoiling her mood was her history. Or rather, her mother’s history.

Her mother had tried for children many times; Buffy was the only pregnancy that resulted in a birth though. She knew she was at risk from suffering the same fate so she decided to wait until the end of the first trimester before she told Angelus.

As the days ticked by Buffy grew ever more hopeful that she would carry the baby to term, her mother had always miscarried before the third month so each day brought her closer to the baby she and Angelus craved.

Then, in the eleventh week, disaster struck.

She lay in bed with Angelus, curled on his chest, as she usually was when she felt the cramp. It wasn’t bad at first but it gradually became more painful.

Not wanting to wake Angelus she carefully detached herself from him and headed for the bathroom.

That was where she noticed the blood. She broke down sobbing on the bathroom floor. She didn’t know why she hadn’t called an ambulance herself. She should have. She was just too crushed to think clearly.

Angelus appeared a few moments later, wondering what she was crying about. He took one look at her and called 911. He stayed with her at the hospital and held her hand the whole time.

Needless to say she was devastated. She could tell Angelus was upset too but he kept strong for her. He was always there for her. She cried on his shoulder many nights and suffered terrible mood swings. He accepted it all and asked nothing from her.

Until she found him in bed with Dru. ~ ~

Buffy still wondered if she had pushed him away. If her moods and her crying drove him to her. There was no other explanation she could think of.

Still, when she found him with Dru, there had been no signs. None, except a strange woman in her bed with her husband.

Was she really so blind she couldn't see it coming?

Angelus wandered into Buffy’s shop to see Willow serving.

He smiled that cold smile at her.

"Can I help you?" asked Willow.

"I came to see about the dress." He said, holding the voucher he bid for up.

Willow nodded. "I’ll get the design book for you to look through."

"I want Buffy. She’s the designer."

"If you’d bothered to find out you’d see that I’m also listed as a designer now too."

"Don’t care. I want her."

"She’s not here."

"Yes she is."

"She isn’t. She’s gone to the clinic downtown to see a client."

"What clinic?" Angelus asked. The only downtown clinic he knew was the abortion clinic, called King and partners.

"I’m not at liberty to say." Said Willow, a determined look on her face.

"Who’s bastard is she aborting now." He spat.

Willow’s features creased into horror. "Get out!" she said, coming round the counter to show him to the door. "How could you ever think she would do that! That’s just evil!"

She succeeded in pushing him out of the door and shut it behind him, locking the top bolt into place.

She leaned against the door, breathing heavily. How could he insinuate that Buffy would do anything like that? Especially after her recent miscarriage.

"Bastard!" she shouted through the door but he was no longer there to hear her.

Her temper under control again Willow went through to the back.

"What an idiot!" she said to Buffy.

Buffy was pouting two mugs of coffee.

"Yeah." She said dejectedly. She sat at the table and looked up at Willow. "Why does he hate me so much? What could have made him say those things about me?"

"I don’t know Buffy. He’s just a lonely, bitter, twisted man who thinks everyone else is as immoral as he is."

Buffy sighed. She didn’t really have a better explanation.

Chapter 6

Angelus sat outside the clinic, waiting to see Buffy come out. His face was pure thunder. How could she do this to him and now someone else?

He had never thought her a whore before but now he began to wonder. Two abortions in eight months. Something was up with that.

He waited and waited but she never came out. At 6pm the doctors and nurses began to leave, the office lights slowly went out until the last doctor to leave locked up behind herself.

Angelus got out if his car and walked over to her, determined to get some answers.

She jumped as she turned and faced him.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yes. Why was Buffy O’Connor here?"

"Buffy who?"

"Buffy O’Connor. Or she might have used the name Summers."

Her face lit up in recognition. "The designer. Yes, I know her. Lovely girl."

"Why was she here?"

The doctor looked confused. "She wasn’t. Not today."

"Then try six months ago. Was she here for an abortion?"

"Sir, I don’t know who you are but…."

Angelus stopped her, holding a hand up in front of her face. "I don’t give a fuck about patient confidentiality. Tell me why she was here."

"I…. I cant. Buffy isn’t a patient here."

"What?" he asked. Surely this was some cover up. "Why was she here then. I have proof she came here."

"I don’t know, I swear. She does some dresses for Dr Val sometimes. Maybe that’s why."

"Val?" he growled.

"V…. Valerie Lycette. She’s a partner in the practice."

"How do you know she isn’t a patient?" asked Angelus. His world, for the last six months now falling apart.

"Because she told me her gynaecologist was someone called Mark Dudley."

"You knew she was pregnant?"

"Yes. S…. She was so happy about it, couldn’t stop talking about it."

"She was happy?"

"Yes. She said she only had a week to go then she would tell her husband."

"Why a week?"

"I think she worried she might miscarry. She didn’t want to get his hopes up too soon."

Angelus stepped back from the lady and she sighed in relief.

"You aren’t lying to me?"

"No. I swear."

"How do you know so much if she was here to see Val?"

"Val was with a patient so Buffy waited in the doctors lounge until she was free. I was in there, caught her looking through our pregnancy books."

It all sounded so plausible.

"Where can I reach this Valerie Lycette?"

"I… I don’t have her number." She lied.

Angelus stepped forward again. "Tell me."

"S…. She’s having dinner tonight with her husband. I d. d. don’t know where though."

"Her phone number?"

"We don’t know them. We also do some abortions here and if out phone numbers get out the anti abortion people harass us day and night."

"Where does she live!" Angelus was quickly loosing his patience.

"Somewhere in Park Vale. I don’t know where."

Angelus punched his fist into the glass door. His fist didn’t break the toughened glass but it hurt like hell and spurred the doctor into action. She ran off into the parking lot. Angelus didn’t follow.

"Buffy, how are you."

"I’m fine thanks Val. You after a new dress?"

"No, I’m calling to warn you."

Buffy looked perplexed. "Warn me?"

Willow looked over to Buffy as she spoke on the phone, concern etched on her face.

"Yes, one of my doctors was threatened by someone last night, they were asking questions about you."

"Let me guess, about 6’1", dark hair, dark eyes?"

"Pretty much. She didn’t recognise him but it sounded like the picture you had of your husband in your shop."

Buffy sighed. "I’m so sorry Val."

"Don’t worry about it, no one was hurt. I just thought you’d want to know."

"I do, thanks. What was he asking?"

"About an abortion. He said you came here for one six months ago."

"What? That’s rediculic…" her thoughts wandered back to the day of the miscarriage. "Oh god, he thinks I killed it!"

"Buffy? Are you OK?" asked Val.

"Uh, yeah. Look, I’m sorry. I’ll try and stop him coming back."

"Just take care Buffy."

"I will."

She hung up and related the conversation to Willow.

Chapter 7

Valerie Lycette was interrupted from her consultation by shouting in the reception area.

"Excuse me Mrs Henderson, I’ll be right back." She said heading for the door that led to the reception.

"If you don’t let me see her I’ll tear this place apart looking!" shouted Buffy’s husband at the receptionist.

"You will do no such thing." Said Val. Angelus looked over to her. "Mr O’Connor I presume." He nodded. "I was half expecting you. I’m sure you understand that I’m with a patient right now but if you’d’ care to take a seat in the staff room I’ll come and see you when I’m done."

Angelus glowered at her. He supposed as long as she agreed to speak to him he was getting somewhere. "Fine."

"Right this way." Val gestured to a doorway next to the reception desk. Angelus walked towards it as Val went to the frightened receptionist. "You ok?"

She brunette nodded. "Yeah."

Val smiled at her and followed Angelus through the doorway.

Angelus paced in the small staff room for another twenty minutes until the doctor returned. She took a diet coke from the fridge and sat in a chair, looking at him.

Angelus swallowed before beginning. "Why did Buffy Summers come to see you?"

The doctor regarded him for a second. "I suppose there’s no harm, the was designing three dresses for me."

"She doesn’t do house calls."

"Not usually no. It happened that my husband sprung a week in Paris on me for our anniversary. I was swamped here trying to prepare but I needed three new dresses. Buffy was kind enough to stop by and see me."

Angelus regarded her now. "Can you prove this?"

"I don’t see why I should."

Angelus pulled the photo of Buffy entering the clinic from his jacket pocket. "Because I have this evidence she came to see you that day. The day she lost our baby."

Val took the picture. "I’d say you have all the proof you need." She said handing the picture back.

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

The doctor smiled a condescending smile. "You are her husband, I would expect you to recognise the bag she’s carrying."

He looked at the photo again. Over her shoulder she carried a large carpetbag. "Her swatch bag." He said breathlessly.

"Exactly. Now if you’ll excuse me, have patients to see. You can show yourself out." She walked towards the door but turned back before she left. "It’d be nice if you apologised to my receptionist as well, she isn’t used to being threatened."

Angelus breathed deeply, trying to assimilate this new information.

If Buffy didn’t have an abortion, how did Penn get those photos? More importantly, why was he taking them and why did he lie?

Chapter 8

Buffy sat alone in her apartment sketching some outlines for new designs. Willow was out with Oz leaving Buffy alone to draw.

Bach played softly in the background as she sketched her latest offering.

She was interrupted by the doorbell and opened it to see Angelus standing there. His features were a mixture of horror and sadness.

He coughed. "Can I come in?"

Buffy regarded him slowly.

"Please Buffy, I need to speak to you."

"Fine." Buffy opened the door wide and he stepped inside.

He turned back to her as she closed the door.

"I’ve been doing some digging into some things." He began. Buffy knew but kept quiet. "Someone told me something. I believed them."

"They told you I aborted our baby." She said.

"How did you know?"

"It wasn’t hard to figure out. Besides, Val called me, told me what you said."

Angelus looked sheepishly at the floor. "I’m sorry."

Buffy didn’t reply.

"Anyway, I know it’s a lie now."

"So?"

"I…. I don’t know."

"You want to go on like nothing happened. You want me to take you in my arms and tell you it’s all OK."

Angelus swallowed. She was always so insightful when it came to him.

"I’m sorry Angelus but it’s gone too far for that now."

"Please." He said, tears shining in his eyes.

Buffy felt his pain but she couldn’t just sweep things under the carpet. Not any more.

Trying to keep the emotion from her voice she opened the door. "I’m sorry Angelus, I have nothing more to say."

Angelus nodded, knowing it couldn’t be so easy. Not after everything he had done for her.

"I understand," he croaked. He took an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to Buffy.

"What’s this?"

"It’s a new settlement agreement giving you fifty percent of everything and saying you own the shop outright."

Buffy looked down at the envelope. "I don’t want your money."

"I know. But it’s yours. To make sure you’re OK."

Buffy handed the envelope back.

"Keep it." He said. "At the very least you have it in writing that I have no hold over the shop."

Buffy nodded. "Thank you."

"There are other issues here."

"Like what?"

"Like who set you up. Who wanted us apart and why?"

He was right; they did need to find out who had done this. She just didn’t want to go into it here.

"Tomorrow, meet me at Alberto’s for lunch, we’ll discuss it then."

He nodded and headed for the door, pausing before going through but not looking at her.

"I love you." He said softly.

"I love you too but it’s not enough any more."

She closed the door behind him, wiping at her un-spilled tears and headed to the kitchen, she needed a drink.

Sitting back down on the sofa she thought back to their life together. She had been the only person he had ever opened up to.

~ ~ Buffy and Angelus had been dating for a three months before he even began opening up to her. They sat in his garden, looking up at the moon.

Buffy was curious as to why he had never mention his family to her and decided now was the time to ask.

He didn’t answer immediately. In fact he didn’t answer for about five minutes. "They’re dead." He said simply.

"I’m so sorry." Said Buffy, reaching out and taking his hand.

"I’m not."

That remark puzzled Buffy but she knew better than to push for answers.

"They weren’t nice people." He said. "They fought a lot. He was abusive. It was a relief when they died."

"How old were you?"

"Fifteen."

Slowly, through out the rest of their relationship she began to learn other snippets about his childhood. His father hadn’t just been abusive to his wife; he had also taken it out on his son from time to time.

Gradually Buffy understood why he kept everyone at such a distance. If his own parents didn’t love him, how could anyone else?

She was sure he had never told her the full extent of his childhood horror but his body was testament enough to that.

As the relationship progressed she began to notice things. An odd scar here and there and there. He’d mention breaking a bone but never say when. He knew how painful dislocating a shoulder was but wouldn’t tell her how he had done it.

Slowly Buffy formed a picture of his home life. Brutal, unloving and poor. At 18 he was out of foster care with nothing but a GED behind him. With determination, scrimping and hard work he had gone on to get a degree then start his own business as a financial advisor.

From there he had built up a company that grew like wildfire and he began to branch out into other businesses.

He had single-handedly freed himself from one aspect of his childhood; poverty.

But he could never escape the rest. Until Buffy his life was a whirlwind of work and meaningless relationships. He had never loved anyone; he felt he was incapable of it.

It took months but slowly Buffy began breaking his barriers down and was rewarded with a side of him no one had ever seen before. He was sweet, kind, romantic and caring.

That was the side Buffy fell in love with. ~ ~

Buffy sighed, missing that side of him. She wanted nothing more than to go to him right now, have him kiss away her pain. But he had caused that pain himself.

Why hadn’t he just come to her and spoken to her. They could have talked things out. But no, he had to try and hurt her.

She understood that was how he worked, if he was hurt, he lashed out. But he had never lashed out on her before, he had never scared her, never threatened her or been cruel to her and she was totally unprepared for it when it happened. That made it hurt all the more.

Buffy took a cigar from her purse and lit it, needing both the nicotine and the memory right now.

Chapter 9

Angelus spent the rest of the evening in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering at his own stupidity.

How could he have just believed Penn when he saw those pictures? Why didn’t he ask more questions? Find out why he was following Buffy?

~ ~ Penn stepped back as Angelus threw the paperweight.

"Go." Angelus said with silent menace.

Penn wasn’t dumb enough to stick around Angelus when she was pissed and he quickly left the office, leaving Angelus alone.

He looked down at the four photos in front of him. They were black and white, three of Buffy entering the clinic, one of her leaving. He looked from picture to picture.

His mind didn’t try and explain it, rationalise it. He knew how low humanity could be so he half expected the bubble to burst where Buffy was concerned. He just never expected something so dreadful.

He had no idea how long he sat there. His phone buzzed from time to time and his secretaries knocked on his door but he shouted them away.

He didn’t remember making the decision to call Dru; it was like he was watching himself and so not a party to his own thoughts. He remembered picking the phone up and dialling. Remembered arranging to see her at the house. Remembered everything except why he had done it.

He put the phone back and continued staring at the pictures. He was beyond emotion now; there was nothing but a void inside him. He felt cold and empty.

Somehow he left his office in time to meet Dru and some how he had managed to get her into bed. He didn’t remember most of what happened, he was functioning on autopilot but he was coherent enough to break Buffy’s heart.  ~ ~

His lawyer had looked at him like he was crazy when he called, asking for the new settlement to be drawn up. Telling him they could beat Buffy down, she would cave soon.

But he had already beaten Buffy down enough. He couldn’t hurt her any more.

Angelus was waiting as she entered the restaurant the next day. He looked gaunt and tired. Anyone else would think he had been working all night but Buffy knew better. She knew he had been up all night, fretting.

"Hi." He smiled at her.

Buffy sat opposite him and politely smiled back.

"I’m glad you came." He said.

Buffy took a deep breath. His pain was unmistakable in his voice.

"We need to talk." She said simply.

"We do."

Neither spoke for a while.

"Buffy. Can you ever forgive me?"

Just then the waiter interrupted them. They ordered random things from the menu and he left, sensing they didn’t want company.

Buffy looked into his eyes, seeing the little lost child only she knew. To say no would be heartless and cruel. But she couldn’t say yes. She didn’t know if she could ever forgive him.

"I don’t know." She answered truthfully. "So much has happened, I can’t just decide to forgive and forget."

"I understand."

The waiter came back with their drinks and Buffy took a sip of her water.

"We need to find out who did this though." She said. "Who told you about the abortion."

"Penn."

Penn was an old friend from Angelus’ childhood. He worked for anyone doing what ever they asked. Most of it illegal but Angelus refused to sever ties with him and often gave him money when thongs were slow.

"Penn." Buffy repeated, confused. She had no doubt that he would sell Angelus out in a second for the right price but who would possibly use him?

Buffy had been thinking about this last night and the only conclusion she could come up with was his business.

Over the years he had burned a lot of bridges and made more than his share of enemies. It was more than possible one of them was out for revenge.

"Have you looked into your business associates?" she asked.

He shook his head. "What would they have to gain?"

Buffy thought a moment. "Possibly they wanted to throw you off your game."

That was more than credible because he had been off his game since Buffy left.

"You should go over the recent business deals, see if someone didn’t screw you over in one of them."

Angelus nodded. "I will."

"where is Penn now?"

"I have no idea, I haven’t seen him for weeks."

Buffy nodded. "I’d try tracking him down. He’s the key here."

Angelus nodded. He didn’t care right now about who had set him up. He cared that soon Buffy was going to walk out on him and things would go back to normal. He desperately searched his mind for a way to make a connection with her again, any link, no matter how tenuous to keep him in her life.

The waiter brought their food and Buffy ate in silence, not making eye contact with Angelus. As Buffy finished her meal he saw her make moves to go.

"I…."

"What?" asked Buffy.

"I wondered if you’d help me go through the files. It was you they were taking pictures of, maybe you’d spot something I wouldn’t."

Buffy sighed and leaned over the table to take his hands. "Angelus. I realise you’re sorry, I understand that. I do. But I’m not ready. You cheated on me, you lied to me, you tried to take my business, not to mention that you didn’t trust me." She paused to gather her thoughts. "I’m not saying never, I’m just saying not now."

Angelus nodded. "I’ll give you all the time you need."

Buffy smiled tightly and released his hands. She took a few notes from her purse and left them on the table.

"Take care." She said, standing and walking away.

Chapter 10

The call came in at seven that evening while Angelus sat in the study. His work files spread on the coffee table in front of him but he wasn’t looking at them.

Henry came in carrying the phone.

"You have a call sir."

"Take a message."

"It’s from the hospital sir, about Buffy."

Angelus’s head snapped up and he grabbed the phone. "Hello?"

"Are you Angelus O’Neil?"

"Yes. What’s wrong with Buffy?"

"She was attacked sir, we found your details in her purse."

"I’ll be right there." He said slamming the phone down on the sofa and rushing out.

Buffy was awake when he got there and sitting up in bed. She was speaking with a police officer as Angelus ran into the room.

The officer looked him over. "Can I help you?"

"I’m her husband." He said, rushing to her bedside.

Buffy didn’t bother to correct him but she took her hand away when he went to hold it.

The officer looked Angelus over with a cautious eye.

"What happened?" asked Angelus.

"I was mugged." Said Buffy.

Angelus looked her over. Her left eye was blackened and she had a cut above the eye and her right cheekbone was developing a nasty bruise.

"Who did it?" he asked, traces of anger evident in his voice.

"I don’t know."

"Sir, if you wouldn’t mind waiting until I finish." Said the officer.

Angelus nodded.

"You say they were masked." Said the officer consulting his notepad.

"Yes."

"How many?"

"At least two. I only saw two."

"And they caught you on your way home?"

"Outside my building, they just jumped me."

"Was anything taken?"

"They took my watch and my…. My rings. I don’t know what else they took."

Angelus was taken aback; he didn’t think she wore them any more.

"I had the rings on a chain, around my neck."

Angelus didn’t know if that was directed at him or the officer since she looked at neither.

The officer nodded. "Your purse still had the wallet in and the cash and credit cards."

Buffy’s brow creased. "You sure?"

"Yes."

"The hospital said they got my number from your purse so they can’t have taken it." Angelus chimed in. the officer gave him a warning look.

"Can you relate the events for me, in order."

Buffy nodded. "I drove home, pulled into my parking space and walked to the front door of the apartments. I didn’t hear them, they were just suddenly on me." She took a deep breath. "One hit me then grabbed my throat and ordered me to take my jewellery off. I gave my watch to the other one. Then he said ‘and the rings’. I tried to bluff; the chain that the rings are on is long so I didn’t think they could see it. Anyway, the other one, the one who wasn’t holding me reached into my blouse and pulled the chair off."

Buffy took a sip of water.

"So they asked for your rings. Were you wearing any other rings?"

Buffy shook her head.

"Then what happened Ma’am?"

"It gets kind of fuzzy. They hit me, a couple of times I think, then they pushed me to the ground. I hit my head I think. Then I felt a pain in my side and the next thing I remember is waking up here."

"Any one who would want to hurt you?"

Buffy shook her head. Until yesterday she would have said Angelus.

The officer closed his notebook. "Thank you Ma’am, we’ll be in touch." The officer walked out leaving them alone.

"Are you OK?" asked Angelus.

"Fine, just shaken."

"How long do you have to stay?"

"They haven’t said, just did a quick check-up then the officer came. The doctor said he’d be back later."

"I’ll find out for you."

Buffy smiled gratefully, she hated hospitals.

Angelus walked back into the room about half an hour later. "What took so long?" asked Buffy. "The doctors already been back."

"I know, I had some things to arrange. The doctor says the only way he’s releasing you tonight is if you come home with me."

"What!"

"Since you passed out he wants someone watching over you, make sure you’re OK."

"Willow can do it."

"If you think I’m letting you go back that apartment you are sorely mistaken."

Buffy’s temper began to rise. "You’re the reason I’m living in that apartment."

The wind in Angelus’ sails deflated. "I know. That makes it my fault so please, let me look after you. Don’t burden Willow."

Buffy took a deep breath, considering the offer.

"You know if you don’t come home with me I’m just going to wait outside and make sure you’re safe."

That was true, he would. He always worried about her when they were together. It was like he felt he had to protect her from the world. Most of the time he didn’t realise Buffy knew what he was doing but she always knew.

"One night. Then I go home."

"Not until your apartment block gets a security guard."

Buffy shook her head. "You don’t own me Angelus. Besides, it isn’t your job to protect me any more."

"We’re still married, that makes it my job."

"In name only."

Angelus counted to ten before speaking again. Getting angry wouldn’t help right now. "Look, something isn’t right about this. They mug you but leave your cash and cards? And how did they know about the rings? Even I didn’t know that. I’m just worried this isn’t a simple mugging Buffy. Please, come home with me where I can look after you."

"You can’t look after me all the time. I have work and friends. What are you going to do? Quit your job and watch me all day?"

"If need be." He said deadpan.

"You’re serious aren’t you?"

"When it comes to you, always."

"One night, that’s all I can promise."

Angelus nodded. "That’s good enough for now."

Chapter 11

Buffy felt weird entering her old home again, she hadn’t been here since she picked up the last of her clothes, over five months ago. Now she was a guest here, not an occupant. She waited in the hall as Angelus closed the door after them.

Henry came out to see them.

"Miss Summers." He said smiling. His smile faltered when he saw her face. "Are you alright?"

"Buffy, please Henry." Said Buffy hugging him. "And I’m fine, just a few bruises."

Henry released the hug quickly; Angelus wouldn’t like shows of affection like that from his staff. He hadn’t liked much since Buffy left.

"Can I get you anything Ma’am?"

"It’s Buffy and no, I’m fine thank you."

Henry nodded. "I’ll leave you be."

"Night Henry." Buffy called after him.

"Good night Miss Summers."

Buffy rolled her eyes. It had taken months to get him to call her Buffy, looked like it would take months again.

"Come on." said Angelus taking her coat and leading her to the study.

Buffy walked into what had been her favourite room in the house, always so welcoming and homely. It didn’t feel that way tonight though. It was cold and unfriendly.

Angelus knelt in front of the fire and began to build it as Buffy perched on the sofa.

"Where’s Dru?" she asked before she knew what she was doing.

Angelus stiffened momentarily. "Gone. It’s over."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Buffy nodded wondering of he had ever cared for Dru at all or if she was just a convenient weapon to use against her.

Angelus lit the kindling and placed a few small logs on it. He went over to the bar and poured two large brandies.

Buffy noticed the work files over the coffee table and picked one up. It was the Weathers renewal policy for Angelus’ insurance business. Normally he wouldn’t handle it personally but Weathers and Co were one of the USA’s top employment agencies and their policy was worth millions in commission alone.

Angelus handed her a drink, which she took. "Thanks."

He sat beside her.

"Have you gone over these?" she asked.

"No, I was about to when the call from the hospital came though." Not a total lie.

"Lets do it now." Said Buffy. She really didn’t want anything other than a professional relationship at the moment. Her wounds, both physical and psychological, were too raw.

"OK," Angelus picked up another file and began reading.

By one in the morning they had been through all the files and found nothing. Buffy lay back on the sofa and closed her eyes.

"Tired?"

"No, I couldn’t sleep if I tried right now." Said Buffy. "My eyes just hurt."

"I probably have a sleeping tablet you can take, if you want?"

"I’ll be fine." She sighed. After consuming three more brandies through out the evening she was feeling slightly wistful.

He hadn’t smoked this evening but she could smell the cigars, and his cologne. Her body wanted to relax and enjoy the sensations and, thanks to the alcohol, her mind was loosing its ability to stop her.

"What happened to us?" Buffy asked rhetorically. They both knew exactly what had happened.

Angelus shrugged.

"How, in less than a year, can a couple go from totally in love to at each others throats?" again, rhetorical.

She opened her eyes and looked towards Angelus, he looked back, knowing full well this was his fault.

"I missed you." He said softly.

"You had Dru."

"I had no one. Before you I had no one and after you I had nothing."

Buffy felt sorry for him. It was so hard for him to open up. He had no real friends and trusted very few people. She was probably the only person he had ever trusted.

‘But not enough to come to you with the pictures.’ She thought.

"Angelus?"

"What?"

"Why didn’t you come to me with the pictures?"

Angelus closed his eyes and rubbed the lids. "I don’t know. I guess it hurt too much. First loosing the baby, then finding out you lied…."

"I didn’t lie."

"I know. But think about it from my perspective. You never told me about the baby then my best friend gives me those pictures. I was hurt enough from loosing the baby; the thought that it had been you who killed it was too much. I just…. I just couldn’t think. There was too much going on inside."

"You never said you were sorry about loosing the baby."

"I thought I should be strong for you. I thought that was what you wanted."

"I just wanted you. I wanted you to love the baby as much as I had. I began to wonder if you hadn’t wanted it."

Angelus looked into her eyes. "I wanted it. I wanted our family. More than anything in this life. I…. I."

Tears began to form I his eyes. He rarely cried but on a few occasions he had with Buffy.

And it was too much for her to bear. She scooted across the sofa and took his hand.

"I wondered if my mood swings and driven you away. That maybe you thought I was nuts or something and that’s why I found you with Dru."

He shook his head, his tears falling as he hugged Buffy. "I screwed everything up didn’t I? Everything’s ruined because of my stupid need for revenge."

He had said something similar to her years ago, Buffy remembered, after one of their fights.

~ ~ "How dare you insinuate that I only want your money!" said Buffy. "I don’t want a dime if you earned it!"

"You know, I’m not believing this." Said Angelus from across his desk.

Buffy tore the cheque up and tossed it at him. "You can’t buy me. I’m not for sale." She stormed out of the office.

Over the next week Buffy’s life began crumbling. Every morning he came in for his coffee but now he chatted Sarah up, he wouldn’t even look at Buffy even though they had been dating for over three months.

On the Friday she was fired.

It wasn’t too much of a hardship, she was making a little money off her dresses now but it made life harder. Not to mention that she knew he had something to do with it.

Then, the next Monday, she and Willow were served an eviction notice. That was the final straw and she drove straight over to his office.

He hadn’t told security to keep her out so she walked straight in, up to his floor and past his secretaries, into his office.

"What the hell is this?" she said, slamming the eviction document down on his desk. He looked up, surprised to see her. Calmly he took the letter and read it.

"It’s a notice to quit."

"I know that, why do I think you had something to do with it?"

"I have no idea." He said, waving his secretaries away from the doorway.

Buffy sat opposite him, glaring at him. "Why? Just because I don’t want your stupid money? You take that as a rejection and now, not only do I have to pay for your insecurities, my best friend does too."

Angelus licked his lips but didn’t reply.

"Why did you even send me that cheque? Is that what your other girlfriends expected?"

"No, it…. it just made life easier."

"It’s easier to own people than to love them."

Angelus didn’t reply.

Buffy sighed, her anger too strong to sustain for long. "Why didn’t you come after me? Sure, I was insulted but it hurt a hell of a lot more when you started flirting with Sarah. Why just leave it? Do I mean nothing to you?"

"No."

"Then what? Why try and hurt me? We had a fight, big deal. Normal people get over it and move on."

"I’ve just always been better at revenge than love." He said quietly.

"You…."

"I love you."

"Then treat me like it. Please."

"I’m sorry. I’ve never felt this way. It’s…. Scary." He said, remembering how he had opened up to her the other evening, telling her about his parents. He had never told anyone that before. That was why he sent the cheque, he knew it was insulting. Most of the women he dated kept the money; if Buffy did too then she would be an employee, not a girlfriend.

Buffy walked around he desk and knelt on the floor, cupping his face with her hand. "But you don’t have to face it alone. Love means you have someone else to help you."

"Are you saying…?"

"Yes. I love you too." ~ ~

"I’ve just always been better at revenge than love." Said Buffy quietly.

"What?" he asked.

"Something you said to me once."

"It’s true."

"I know, I’ve been there."

Angelus sat up and looked into her eyes. "Please, lets try again."

Buffy may have been slightly drunk but not that drunk. "We’ll see. I can’t just erase the last few months."

"I know." He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. "I’m such a jerk."

"Sometimes."

"Most of the time."

Buffy softened. "No. You’re not. You’re wonderful, sweet, kind, caring. I know you loved me, I know you still do. I just need some time. I need to remember the man I fell in love with, not the man who wanted to destroy me."

Angelus pulled her to him and she folded into his embrace as she had done a thousand times before. They lay there, silently.

Chapter 12

Buffy awoke in the spare bedroom the next morning. Or to be more accurate, one of the spare bedrooms. Angelus must have carried her up here.

Her face hurt and she padded to the ensuite bathroom to survey the damage. It wasn’t pretty. Her black eye was dark and swollen, her cut looked about the same but her cheek was purple and angry. Hopefully makeup would cover it.

Willow had agreed to look after the shop today. Buffy wasn’t sure if she’s be in today but even if she was, she wasn’t greeting customers like this.

"Buffy."

"Come in." she called, poking her head out of the bathroom door.

"Ooh," said Angelus as he saw her. "That does not look good."

"Just what every girl wants to hear."

"I didn’t mean…."

Buffy held her hand up and smiled. "I know, I was teasing."

"Anyway, I brought you some breakfast." He said laying a breakfast tray down on the bed. "I also thought we should go over things again today, see if we cant figure out what’s going on with those pictures."

Now the shock of last night had work off and she wasn’t quite so angry with Angelus she thought it was a very good idea. "Sure. I need to change at some point though. My clothes from last night have blood on them."

"I asked Willow to pack you an over night bag, Henry picked it up this morning. I’ll bring it up in a sec."

"Thanks."

Angelus left and Buffy explored the contents of the breakfast tray. There were pastries, cereals and an omelette with hash browns. Then there was coffee, tea and juice. He had covered all bases. Buffy picked up a croissant and began eating.

Later that morning, both Buffy and Angelus recounted their tails of the miscarriage. Buffy hadn’t seen anyone suspicious watching her or noticed anything unusual.

Angelus also had no further clues as to where Penn got the photos.

"So, what now?" asked Buffy.

Angelus looked at the notes he had made. Nothing but dates. He chewed his lower lip for a second. "Tell me about last night."

"You heard everything." Said Buffy.

"You didn’t recognise anything about them?"

"No. Why?"

"I was just thinking. What if they’re coming at me through you? First they get incriminating photos of you. It must have taken them a few weeks to figure out a use for them though because Penn didn’t come to me for a while."

"And."

"Then you and I make friends again."

"I wouldn’t have called us friends." She saw a hurt look pass over his features. "Then, I mean. We only had lunch yesterday. Wasn’t until last night we…. Communicated."

"But to the casual observer, wouldn’t the lunch look like we were friends again. At least making steps to a reconciliation?"

"I guess."

"Then you get attacked and your rings taken."

"But that brought us closer."

"Only because they called me. If they had called Willow would you have told me what happened?"

"Probably not."

"Well who ever, they most likely expected you to have changed your contact in emergency person by now."

"So how does hurting me fit into splitting us up?"

Angelus laced his fingers together as he thought. "Well with the rings gone that could serve to upset me, especially if I thought you’d just gotten rid of them."

~ ~Buffy noticed Angelus was acting oddly, nervous even. She had never seen him nervous.

Reaching over the table she took his hand.

"Are you going to sit there like a cat on a hot tin roof all evening or are you going to tell me what wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing’s wrong."

"Something’s up."

Well, thought Angelus, it’s now or never, sink or swim.

He released Buffy’s hand and took the seat next to her at the table. "I wanted to ask you something." He began.

"Ok."

Reaching a hand into his pocket he traced the outline of the ring. "I… Will you marry me?" he asked.

Buffy looked at him, her features blank. Surely he hadn’t just said that? Not the commitment phobic man she had been dating for over a year.

"You…."

"I want to marry you." He grew concerned as she didn’t answer. Then he realised he still had the ring in his pocket, weren’t you supposed to show that to the bride to be? He pulled the ring out and asked again. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" she blurted out. "It’s just, so…"

Angelus smiled and slipped the ring on her finger.

"Oh, it’s beautiful." She said, noticing it for the first time. It was platinum with a diamond heart held by two hands and with a crown on top. He hadn’t been holding it before, had he?

"It’s a claddagh." He explained. "There’s a legend in Ireland. In the early 16th Century, a fishing boat set out one morning from the village of Claddagh in Galway. Pirates set upon the boat and took them as slaves to Spain. One man, Richard Joyce was in the crew and was to be married that week. His fiancée was desolated at the loss of him. Years passed by and Richard became a master in the trade of goldsmithing. He created a ring that was totally unique for the woman he could never forget at home. The design was inspired by their love. The heart in the centre symbolises love, the hands represent friendship and faith and the crown represented loyalty and fidelity. After eight years he escaped and returned to Claddagh, elated to find that his love had never married. He gave her the ring and they never separated again."

"That’s beautiful."

Angelus leaned across and kissed her. "Your beautiful." He murmured.~ ~

Buffy shook her head slowly, casting the memory off. The ring was special but it wasn’t a good enough reason to mug someone over. "I don’t buy it."

"It is a bit thin. Nothing you recognise about them? Anything at all?"

"No. Sorry."

That afternoon Buffy and Angelus sat having coffee, taking a break from recent, unpleasant events, when the door went. Henry came in shortly afterwards with a uniformed officer and a plain clothed man.

"Angelus O’Neil?" asked the plain clothed one.

"Yes."

"I’m arresting you on conspiracy to commit assault. You have the right to remain silent, anything…."

His words soon drowned out as Buffy and Angelus locked eyes. Buffy’s expression one of horror, Angelus’ much the same.

Angelus was hauled to his feet, cuffed and led away. Buffy watched them go, unable to follow them.

Chapter 13

Angelus wasn’t too worried about the charges. He had good lawyers, not to mention that the charges were completely false. He could post almost any bail amount so he felt ok about being freed soon.

He didn’t feel OK about Buffy. She was alone and probably thinking this was some sick ploy to get her back.

"O’Neil."

"Yeah." He said, standing in his small cell and facing the guard at the bars.

"Visitor." He said opening the cell door. He beckoned someone from down the hall and Buffy stepped into view and into the cell. The guard closed the door saying, "Holler if you need me."

"Buffy."

Her eyes looked tear stained.

"You have to know, it wasn’t me."

"I know." She nodded. "At first I thought how could he but I soon realised you aren’t that good an actor. It couldn’t be you, not after what you said last night."

Angelus breathed a sigh of relief and held his arms open, leaving the choice of hugging him up to Buffy. She stepped into his embrace.

After a few moments they pulled apart. "I spoke to the police." She began. "They said they picked up one of the thugs and he fingered you as the person who paid him to mug me."

"Who is it?"

"He’s called Johnny Davies. Doesn’t mean anything to me."

"Nor me."

"Anyway, he wouldn’t give his partner up. I think there’s something off there. He fingers you, the person he says paid him but he won’t finger his partner."

"I agree. At least we have a name now."

"Yeah. They also told me he said the reason for the mugging was so you could get your rings back. You hated me having them after…. You know."

Angelus nodded. "Reasonable story."

"Not to me, you had no idea I was wearing the rings."

"But it sounds good to a jury."

"I’ll testify for you. Nothing is going to happen to you. I wont let it."

"Did they get the rings back?"

Buffy nodded. "They wont let me have them yet though, they’re evidence."

Angelus sat on the small bunk; Buffy sat beside him and took his hand.

"Any idea how long you’ll be here?"

"My lawyer should be here soon. I doubt I’ll be here long, he’s good."

Buffy nodded and rested her head on his shoulder.

"When I find out who’s doing this they are dead." She said softly.

"I guess this was the culmination of the scheme."

"Probably. Hasn’t worked though."

"That might mean they’ll try again."

"Maybe, I’ll be…."

"O’Neil, your lawyer’s here." Said the guard, reappearing.

Buffy stood. "I’ll wait at home for you."

"Be careful."

"I will."

Buffy was asleep on the sofa in the study when Angelus returned home. He watched her for a few moments before bending down and gently kissing her.

"Buffy. Buffy." He called.

She groggily opened her eyes and smiled as she saw him. "How’d it go?"

"I got bail."

Buffy sat up and stretched. "What time is it?"

"9pm. Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Chinese?"

"Sounds good."

"I’ll order."

Buffy smiled and yawned.

Thirty minutes later they sat eating a selection of dishes. Angelus finished and put his plate on the coffee table. He looked apprehensive.

Buffy finished her food, put her plate down and turned to him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Spill."

Angelus sighed. "My lawyer. He suggested that this could be…. That it could be an ex partner setting us up."

Buffy understood his discomfort. He hated hearing about her ex-boyfriends almost as much as he hated talking about his past relationships.

Buffy went and poured them some large drinks. She had learnt that Angelus as most likely to open up to her when he was well oiled.

They sat silently for a while, drinking. Buffy wasn’t sure if it was better for Angelus or herself to go first, both would be painful for Angelus.

Angelus finished his drink and Buffy poured him another.

"You go first." He said. Hearing about her past loves was the hardest thing for him. Knowing someone else had lover her and that she had loved them. It was like torture to him.

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"OK."

Angelus picked a pad up and prepared to write.

"Your taking notes?"

"Best way to keep track."

"Fine. OK, first there was Owen. One date in high school. He was a bit too, um, enthusiastic for my tastes. Then…."

"Wait, did he try anything?"

"Not enthusiastic that way, he was just too full on, too excitable, I was trying to study hard and I didn’t have time for that. And no, he never tried anything." She paused. "Then came Scott. Again, nothing much, a few dates. He broke it off, said I wasn’t fun any more."

"Then?"

"Parker. Wanted sex, didn’t get it, I dropped him."

"He could be upset."

Buffy smiled. "Nah, I saw him with someone else later that day, and someone different the next day. I don’t think I crushed him."

"OK, next." Said Angelus. He was hating every moment of this.

"Riley was next. We dated most of college."

"What happened?"

"I…. I didn’t want to, you know. He obviously couldn’t wait. I went to his dorm room and found him in bed with another woman."

"That’s all?"

"That’s all. Now hand me the pad."

Angelus handed her the pad. "You sure that’s all?"

"All my boyfriends, of course I’m sure."

Angelus realised she had been a virgin when he slept with her, he just found it hard to believe there hadn’t been more interest in her. Boys these days must be blind.

"So come on, spill." Prompted Buffy. She was grinning.

"You’re enjoying this." He grumbled.

"Finally I get a detailed history on one part of your life, of course I’m enjoying it." She paused. "Plus, I get to see you squirm."

"OK. First there was…."

The list was huge. It appeared before Buffy came along his life was a succession of short, meaningless relationships. For the moment she just recorded the name and length of the relationship, along with the age Angelus had been. .

Name / duration / age

Kate Shaw, 2 mths, 14

Sally Jenkins, 1 week, 15

Kelly ???, 1 week, 15 ish

Angela Fox, 1 mth, 15ish

Sarah spada, 1, night stand, 17

Jessica ??? 1 night stand, 17ish

Claire ??? 1 night stand, 18,

Julie Swan, 2 weeks, 18

Terrie ??? one night stand

Sherrie ??? one night stand

Georgina ??? one night stand 18 - 19

Faye Maclean one night stand

Patricia Russell one night stand

Drucilla Hughes, six months, 18 – 19

Andy Lynn, 2 weeks, 19

Vickie ??? 1 night stand 19

Julie ??? one night stand 19

Jackie Paul one night stand 19

Elaine ??? one night stand 19ish

Jo E??? one night stand 20

??? one night stands 20-21

Darla Holtz 1 year 22

One night stands for three years from 23 – 26

Drucilla Hughes six months 26

Claire Hill 3 mths

Buffy put the pad down.

"Wow."

"I’m sorry." He said, hanging his head. There was a reason he had never told her about most of his relationships.

"No, don’t be, it’s just a big list."

"I know."

"Why don’t we stop here for now, if we come up with nothing, we’ll carry on."

"Sounds good." He said, glad for his reprieve, however temporary it might be.

Chapter 14

Buffy went downstairs in the morning to find Angelus on the phone. He smiled as she entered the office. Buffy sat opposite until he hung up.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"My Lawyer. We have a list of contacts for our mugger. Known associates, friends." He said holding up a sheet of paper.

"He got all that?" asked Buffy as she looked at the detailed information.

"Yeah, though not exactly legally."

Buffy didn’t mind how the information had been discovered.

"When do we leave?" She asked.

"I… It’s probably best if I check these out alone."

"Why?"

"These aren’t nice guys Buffy. I just think you’d be safer here."

Buffy smiled. "Probably. I’d be even safer in a padded cell but I’m not doing that either."

Angelus was about to speak but Buffy held her hand up. "It was me who was mugged and punched and kicked so if you think for a second that I’m letting you go alone you are sorely mistaken."

Angelus had anticipated her reaction and sighed. "OK, but take this." He withdrew a small handgun from his desk and handed it to her. "You remember how to use it?"

"Sure."

~ ~ "But why?" asked Buffy.

"Because I’m not always here and I want you to be protected."

"This place is like a fortress, no one’s going to even get near the house."

Angelus sighed. "Please, just do it for me. I’d be much happier knowing you can defend yourself when I’m not here."

Buffy looked at the small handgun she was holding. She didn't like guns but he wasn’t asking her to carry it or anything, just to learn to use it. What harm could there be in that if it made him feel better. "OK, fine."

Angelus smiled and stepped up behind her. "OK, spread your leg slightly."

Buffy complied.

"Now, relax your knees." He said. Lightly pressing on her shoulders. "Good. You feel secure?"

"Uh huh."

"Good, now aim the gun at the first can. Take your time. Two hand hold like we discussed."

Buffy raised the gun.

"That’s it, take it slow. Line it up and squeeze gently."

The gun went off missing the target and blowing Buffy back into Angelus. He caught her before she fell.

"That was good."

"I totally missed."

"Everyone does. You’ll get used to it. This time try and relax more, absorb the force from the gun."

Buffy raised the gun again and took aim. She took two deep breaths and tried to relax her arms and legs. She gently squeezed the trigger again.

The can flew off the wall.

"Great!" Angelus wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Stop it, we’re supposed to be practicing."

"I can’t help it, a beautiful woman with a big gun. Gets me every time."

"Maybe it isn’t a good idea to piss of a woman with a gun." She joked, leaning back into him.

"Maybe, but it’s worth the risk." He said, lavishing attention on her neck.

Buffy caved, placing the gun on the table next to her and turning to capture his mouth in a heated kiss. ~ ~

Buffy snapped out of the memory as Angelus opened his door. Grabbing her bag with the gun in she got out and met Angelus at the kerb.

This was the fourth place they had tried today. The first man claimed to know nothing, the second wasn’t home or wasn’t answering and the third was in jail, due to be released on bail later today.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Lets do it."

Buffy had covered her bruises with concealer and dark makeup. If angelus hadn’t known she was hurt he probably wouldn’t have guessed.

Lenny was roused from sleep by banging at his door.

"Wait, wait a sec." He called, finding some pants to pull on and stumbling to the door. He opened it to find a tall man and a blonde woman standing there.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Lenny Gee?" asked the man.

"Maybe, what’s it to you?"

"I got a hundred dollars with your name on if you let us in. More if you talk to us."

Lenny looked them over, they didn’t look like police.

"Sure." He said opening the door wide as they stepped into the apartment. "Where’s the money?" he asked.

Angelus flashed a wad of twenties. "When you talk."

Lenny sat down. "OK, so what do yous want to know?"

"You know Jonny Davies?"

"Might do?"

"There’s no money in a might do."

"OK, sure, I know him."

"He’s in jail right now, mugging."

Lenny nodded. "I heard." He said, looking at the blonde in a leering way.

Buffy tried not to notice and looked around the apartment instead. It was a mess and Buffy could see a few traces of white lines on the coffee table. Probably explained why Lenny looked so hung over and was willing to talk for easy cash.

"You know anything about that?" asked Angelus.

"What’s this about?"

"Your friend is trying to frame someone, saying he was paid to do the mugging. I want to know why."

"OK, maybe I know something."

"Like what?"

"Maybe I know he was hired."

"Maybe doesn’t get us anything. Who hired him?"

"This guy a friend of yours? The one being fingered."

"A friend of mine." Buffy chimed in. He looked her over again, wondering if he should help the pretty woman out. A pretty woman had often been his weakness.

"It’ll cost ya?"

"How much?" asked Angelus.

He considered the offer. "$500."

"Deal, as long as you tell us everything you know."

Lenny licked his lips. "OK, so Johnny comes to me, says he got this great offer to do this bitch over." He glanced at Buffy, "No offence."

"None taken."

"So, he says he’s been offered like two thousand dollars for it but he wants some help."

"You say yes or no?" asked Angelus.

"I won’t lie, I considered it. My cut was $500."

"Why not 50/50?"

"'Cos he said he had to do some jail time so he got more."

"Why would he have to do jail time?"

"I dunno, I didn’t ask. Anyways, he offers it to me. I think it sounds off, like a set up or something so I tell him no."

"What’d he do then?"

"Nothin', he left it."

"He ever tell you who paid him?"

"Nah, said he couldn’t."

"You have any idea who did help him?"

Lenny licked his lips.

"It’ll stay between us."

Lenny didn’t answer.

"One thousand if you tell me who helped him."

Lenny licked his lips again. "OK, he got this dude, Carl to help him."

"Carl who?"

"I honestly don’t know. He’s kind of new in these parts, young, about 20. Major addict, I guess he needed the cash quick."

"Any idea where this Carl hangs out."

Lenny licked his lips again. Angelus pulled the money out of his pocket again and flashed it.

"He hangs out at this bar, a few blocks over, the Stallion."

"And a description?"

"Bout 20, long black hair, pulled into a pony tail. Aint much else about him."

"Clothes?"

"Jeans and a leather jacket. Yeah, come to think of it, he likes the jacket. It’s designer, got this big picture of an eagle on the back."

Angelus counted out a thousand and handed it to Lenny. Lenny reached for it but Angelus held the money fast.

"This stays between us."

"Sure man."

"I mean it. I find out you tipped this Carl off, I’m going to come looking for you."

Lenny smiled but it was cold and chilling. "You can trust me man."

"I hope so." He said, releasing his grip on the money.

Chapter 19

Angelus followed Penn to the next window and watched as he picked the phone up and dialled. He only heard one side of the conversation but he gathered it wasn’t what Penn wanted to hear though.

"Sir, you cant ask me that!" Penn said, loosing his cool.

"I can ask what ever I want. It might do you well to remember that you’re in this up to your neck."

"Assault is one thing, murder is another."

"I know you have your own reasons for being in this Penn, but let me assure you I intend to destroy Angelus. You are either along for the ride or you’ll get trampled on the way."

Penn sighed. He couldn’t kill Buffy. He didn’t resent Angelus that much. And Buffy was a sweet women. OK, she had always treated him like dirt but he knew he deserved that.

"Is that silence an agreement?" asked the man on the phone.

"NO!"

"Very well, I suggest we meet and discuss this in person."

Penn took a deep breath. "OK, when and where."

Angelus watched as Penn wrote what he assumes to be a date, time and place down. He had to have that information. The call mentioned murder. Since Buffy had been the focus of all the attacks so far he had to assume she was the target. He couldn’t let anything happen to her.

Penn hung up the phone and rubbed his face before tearing the sheet of paper off the pad and leaving. Angelus heard the front door slam and waited until he heard his car leave.

It was a tough decision, to follow Penn or see if he could get the second sheet of paper Penn had written on. He opted to stay. If he followed Penn he would have to watch him all the time, leaving Buffy vulnerable. If he got the sheet of paper, he could be back with her that evening, protecting her.

Dru heard the knock on the door and thought it was Penn, coming back. He hadn’t said goodbye after all.

She opened the door to se Angelus there, he looked fraught.

"Angelus my dear, what’s wrong."

Angelus walked past her, into the house. "I don’t know. I’m so confused." He said, running his hand through his hair.

"What can I do?"

"Drink. I need a drink." He said, heading for the study where Penn had made the phone call from.

Dru followed him as he headed for the drinks cabinet. "Sit." She commanded. "I’ll get it."

Angelus sighed and turned back to her. "Of course, it’s your house. Sorry."

Dru walked past him and Angelus quickly removed the next sheet of paper from the pad, slipping it into his pocket. He turned to see Dru still getting his drink. She came over with a glass for him and he took it.

"Thanks." He looked at it like it was poison. Which it could be. Though if she had put anything in, it would probably be a sleeping potion of some kind.

"What troubles you so Angelus?"

Angelus looked at her and reached his hand out to caress her cheek. "So pretty." He whispered.

Dru smiled.

Angelus looked around the room and back to Dru. "I cant. I cant." He said, putting his drink down and heading for the door.

"Angelus?"

"I’m sorry, I cant do this." He said, not turning back. Then he was out the front door and heading down the drive.

He didn’t turn back but he thought he could feel Dru staring after him.

Hopefully he had convinced her he was there for sex but too conflicted to act. Hopefully.

Buffy was going crazy with worry. Why hadn’t he called back? Was he safe?

After the phone call she decided to take a bath. They usually relaxed her and she needed relaxing right now.

She headed for the master bedroom, ran the water in the huge tub and relaxed into it.

It didn’t work; she was still jumpy. He had been gone for five hours now. Three hours since his phone call. Why hadn’t he called again?

She got out of the tub and dried her wrinkled body off, hoping he wouldn’t mind her using his bathroom. It was her favourite.

Dressed in a towel she went back into the master bedroom.

The bed stood in front of her, mocking her with memories of Dru in it.

It didn’t trouble her so much today though, she had more important things to worry about. Going over to the dressing table she picked up his aftershave bottle and sprayed a little on her wrist.

She missed the scent so much. It’s amazing how many small things you miss, not the big things like having someone sleep beside you, the little details like how they smelt, how they dressed, a phrase or word that only they said in their own way.

Buffy put the bottle down and sighed. If he wasn’t dead, she was sure as hell going to kill him when he got back for making her worry like this.

She stood up and noticed one of his blue silk shirts lying over a chair. She had worn them so often at one time, that he had even relinquished ownership of some because she liked them so much.

She smiled at the memory, wishing she could do the same now. But things had changed. It wasn’t that he would be mad, he wouldn’t, in fact he would take it as a sign that they were on the way to getting back together. She couldn’t give him that hope though.

She did love him, undoubtedly. And she was falling for him again, if that was possible. She just didn’t quite have what it took to get over that last mental hurdle and forgive him.

Sighing, she left the room to change into her own clothes.

Chapter 20

As Angelus waited for the results on the paper he had stolen, he called Buffy. He should have called her sooner but he was too wrapped up in finding out who was behind this.

"Angelus?" she answered the phone."

"It’s me."

"Oh, thank god. You had me so worried."

"I’m sorry, lost track of things."

"Where are you?"

"In a lab, downtown. I have an imprint of a message I want retrieved, they’re working on it now."

"Will you be long?"

"Not much longer. I’ll be home soon."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Just take care."

"I will. I love you."

"I… Take care." Buffy hung up.

Angelus stared at the phone. He couldn’t really blame her, he had caused her pain. And it didn’t matter who had tricked him, or how, the simple fact was, he had been the one to go after Buffy with a vengeance.

His only hope was that she would one day forgive him, life wasn’t worth it without her.

"Sir?" Angelus turned to the lab assistant. "We have it." he said, handing an envelope over.

"That was quick."

"Relatively easy process. Pay at the front desk."

"Thanks, I appreciate this." He said, opening the envelope.

Buffy wasn’t sure whether to be mad or happy as Angelus’ car pulled up. She was mad that he had made her worry so much. But that was also her fault, because she still cared enough to worry.

She was happy because she knew he was safe. Because they still had time. If he had been taken from her then things would have been lift unfinished. Buffy doubted she could have lived knowing their relationship had never been resolved.

She stood by the door and waited for him, her anger dissolving when she saw him. He looked so tired and worn out.

"Hey." She said softly. "You had me worried."

Angelus pulled her into an embrace and kissed the top of her head. "I know, I’m sorry. Are you OK?"

Buffy pulled back slightly to look at him. "Isn’t that my line?" she smiled. He had always put her ahead of his own needs.

"I’m fine."

"You look tired."

"Long day. But I’m OK. You?"

"I think I aged a decade or two but I’m OK. And I heard from the police, they arrested the second mugger but he hasn't cleared your name."

Angelus nodded. "Didn’t think so." He kissed her forehead. "Why don’t you get us some drinks, I’ll be in in a second."

Buffy stepped away, out of his embrace, suddenly feeling alone, like something was missing.

Angelus entered the study to see Buffy waiting for him. She still looked worried which pleased him. It meant she still cared.

"So, what did you find?" she asked as he sat next to her.

Angelus withdrew the note and handed it to Buffy.

"It looks like wwp, 10am, 19^th." She said, reading the enhanced imprint.

"Doesn’t mean much to me." He said. "10 am must be the time of the meeting but wwp and 19^th don’t make much sense. I should have followed Penn."

"No, you cant watch him all the time. We’ll figure it out." Buffy reassured him, taking his hand. "Now, who is this meeting with?"

Angelus explained the one side of the conversation he heard.

"Someone wants to kill me?"

"That’s what it sounded like. I’m sorry."

Buffy shook her head, this was all just so unreal.

"So the meeting is tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

"But that’s the 8^th so the 19^th cant be the date. It could be the date he’s supposed to try killing me."

"Or it could be something else."

"True. Wwp." She mused. "A place? A code maybe?" she sighed.

"This isn’t getting us anywhere."

"I know."

"Lets head off to bed. Maybe we’ll think more clearly in the morning."

"Sure. I just need to check my messages first." She hugged him good night and went over to his desk, sitting down and taking out a pad.

She dialled her work number and entered the code to retrieve the messages.

Three from clients, Buffy jotted their name and message down. One from Sarah, the new cutter, she was calling to say her son was sick and she might be late the next day. The final message was from Lucy Steel, Buffy’s lawyer, to see if they could have a lunch meeting. She proposed a place and time which Buffy jotted down. Buffy saved all the messages except Lucy’s so Willow could hear them in the morning.

She hung up, her feelings in turmoil. Should she tell Lucy the divorce was off? Or just carry on with it? Or maybe ask for a delay, see what happened.

Could you even have a delay in a divorce? Buffy didn’t know, she’d have to call Lucy tomorrow and talk about it.

At least the business was OK but she would have to go back to work soon. Willow was a great designer but she couldn’t do two peoples work for ever.

Stretching she stood up from the chair and headed for bed.

She stopped halfway to the office door. Something important just happened. She had missed something.

Slowly Buffy turned, looking around the study, wondering what had given her the feeling.

Nothing looked different. Slowly she walked back to the desk, afraid that sudden moments might scare the idea away or something.

Nothing struck her as she walked back but the feeling that she had missed something wouldn’t leave her.

She sat back down, looking over the office again.

Nothing. What ever was niggling at her brain wasn’t ready to form a coherent thought yet.

Buffy sighed, she would never get to sleep now, whatever was bugging her would bug her all night.

She buried her face in her hands, trying to make the idea form through willpower alone. It didn’t form though.

Buffy rubbed her temples for a moment.

!

That was it.

Lucy Steel, 12pm, Valentinos.

Wwp, 10am, 19^th.

Could it be wwp was the person Penn was meeting, 10am was the time and 19^th was the place?

But19th could be anything. A street, a house number, a club. Wwp could be the initials of the person Penn was meeting.

Wwp, wwp, wwp…

Chapter 21

Angelus headed downstairs the next morning to see Buffy sleeping on the sofa in the study. He gently shook her awake.

"Hey, what’s going on?" He asked.

"I had an idea last night." She mumbled, siting up. "I thought wwp could be the person and 19^th could be a place."

"Did you find anything?" he asked, brushing her bed hair out of her eyes.

"Maybe. I need coffee first."

Angelus kissed her forehead. "Stay here, I’ll get it."

Buffy did her best to wake up while he was gone and she looked through the notes she made last night.

Angelus returned a few moments later with two steaming mugs of coffee. Buffy smiled and thanked him as she took hers and sipped it.

"You remembered." She said, realising it had lots of cream and two sugars.

"Course I did." He smiled back. "Now, what did you find?"

"I think the man behind this is Wesley Windham Price. I went through your rolodex and he’s the only name that matches."

"Wes?" asked Angel, a far away look in his eyes.

"Yeah, I think so." Noting his concerned look Buffy asked. "Angelus? What is it? Who is Wesley?"

Angelus took a deep breath. "Remember how my business dealings weren’t always above board in the beginning?"

"Yeah."

"Wes got burnt once. He was doing some research into another company for me…"

"Insider dealing."

"Something like that. He got caught, sent away for it."

"So what happened?"

"We stayed in touch. I sent him things he needed in jail, looked after him."

"So why does he now hate you?"

"While he was inside I… I dated his sister, Cordelia. Wes didn’t take kindly to it when he came out but Cordie was strong willed, she didn’t listen to him so there was nothing he could do. Then she became pregnant."

This was news to Buffy. "You have a child?"

"Somewhere. When Wes found out he went ballistic. Didn’t help that I’d told Cordie I wasn’t ready to be a father. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a family, I was jut so shocked. I needed time to get used to it. But I hurt her pretty bad, I lost my temper, said a lot of bad things to her, about her. She went crying to Wes, who finally seemed to develop a spine. He sent her away, somewhere I couldn’t find her or the baby. By the time I was ready to face up to my responsibilities, they were gone. He wouldn’t tell me where."

"Is that it?"

"No. I spent years trying to hurt him, trying to find my child. The investigators I hired couldn’t find a trace of them so he was my only way to them."

"You were pretty cruel I’ll bet too."

"Yeah. Somehow though it just made Wes stronger. He’s head of a large network now. Not exactly a legit company either."

"So are you still trying to hurt him?"

"No. I… it was useless."

"Did Cordelia know you wanted the baby?"

"No. I knew he hadn’t told Cordie I wanted the baby, she would have come back if she knew. I just couldn’t go anywhere else."

"And now he blames you for breaking his sisters heart."

"Probably."

Buffy sighed. "God you’re life was a mess before I came along."

"Believe me, I know."

"Have you ever tried apologising to him?"

"No."

Buffy pondered the story she had been told. She was sure it was the truth but something didn’t feel right about it.

"So where does this Wes like to hang out? Anywhere vaguely 19 related?"

Angelus thought for a while. "Nothing comes to mind. He has a lot of business addresses though, warehouses for his operations and such."

"I’m going to try an internet search, see if 19^th brings any clubs up or something."

Buffy printed the pages of the search out. Lots of addresses came up until she narrowed the search to the state of California. Then she found 29 entries which she printed off and handed to Angelus.

"See if anything rings a bell, I need a shower." She said.

Angelus burst into her bathroom a few minutes later.

"What?" she asked.

"I think I found it. He used to be a big golf player, one of the place in this search is the 19^th hole, the bar at the Goodacre golf club."

"You think the meeting is there?"

"Yeah. And we have thirty minutes to get there."

Buffy finished brushing her wet locks out then hurried to the bedroom. "No rest for the wicked." She mumbled, hurriedly getting dressed.

Chapter 22

Buffy and Angel arrived at the club with just 10 minutes to spare before the 10am meeting. Unfortunately it was a members only club and they didn’t have the ID to get in.

"Do we wait?" asked Buffy?

"I want to know what they’re saying." Said Angelus, absently. "Lets drive round."

They followed the fence of the club around until Angelus noticed a gate.

"What?" asked Buffy as he pulled over.

"Not sure." He said, getting out and walking over to the gate. He tried it but it was locked. He looked around, noticing the garbage bins were near. "The staff must come out this way." He said.

"But it could be hours before they come out again."

"I know, but what other choice do we have?"

It angered the hell out of him that Wes and Penn were probably in there, planing Buffy’s death and there wasn’t a thing he could do.

Twenty minutes later someone unlocked the gate and came out, Angelus stopped him.

"Hey Buddy, what would it cost for you to let me in there?" he asked.

"More than you’ve got." Said the employee. "Do you have any idea who owns this joint?"

"Yeah, that’s who I need to see."

They man smiled. "It’s more than my jobs worth to let you in, sorry Pal."

Buffy stepped up beside Angelus. "Where do you work?" she asked.

"In the bar."

"Is Price in there now? With a blonde man?"

"Yeah, why?"

"What if you don’t let us in, what if you try and eavesdrop on their conversation and tell us what he says."

The man looked unsure.

"We can make it worth your while."

The man looked from the gate to the couple. "I… I guess so."

"Buffy." Said Angelus. "This isn’t a good idea."

"We cant go in there anyway Angelus, Penn knows both of us, it’s better all round if…" she looked for the mans name tag. "If Alan here helps us."

Angelus took a deep breath. "OK."

Alan appeared again an hour later, with another bag of trash.

"Anything?" asked Buffy.

"I couldn’t hear much. They were talking about a job, the blonde one didn’t seem to be into it but they ended up discussing a time and place."

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah. Friday at some shop."

"Do you know which shop?"

"Some dress shop, I didn’t catch a name."

Angelus withdrew three c notes from his wallet and handed them over. "Thanks.

The man smiled at his good fortune. "Anytime man, anytime."

Both Buffy and Angel returned to work that afternoon. They had been away for three days now and needed to catch up before things got on top of them. Angel wasn’t happy leaving Buffy but she reasoned that she wouldn’t be harmed until Friday, four days time.

Angelus still wasn’t happy but he couldn’t convince Buffy otherwise. She agreed to meet him back at the house that evening.

Willow was surprised by Buffy’s unexpected arrival but pleased to see her friend. She dragged her through to the back office and began pumping her for information.

Buffy quickly filled her in on the happenings so far.

"So what’s happening with Angelus?" Willow asked.

"Nothing… and everything."

Willow nodded understandingly. "It can’t be easy."

"It’s not that I don’t love him…"

"You just can’t get over what he’s been doing."

"Not even that. I understand why he acted the way he did. I don’t forgive him but… I don’t hold it against him any more, not after everything he’s done for me."

"So you still hold Dru against him?" asked Willow.

"It hurts but… no, I don’t think so. I was in his room yesterday and the bed… Well it just wasn’t the… the... I don’t know, before, the few times I saw it, all I saw was them. Now, I still see them but it’s feint, like he’s a victim too but not just that." She sighed. "To be honest I still don’t really understand my feelings. These last few days have been all action, not much time to think, you know?"

"What about his child?"

Buffy sighed. "I should be mad he never told me. On the other hand all the information I have about him I had to dig for. I guess I’m used to him not telling me stuff about his past."

"But a baby?"

"I know. I do feel weird about it. I mean he has a child with another woman. A mini Angelus is out there somewhere." Buffy paused. "It doesn’t help that someone else gave him the child I couldn’t."

"Do you really believe that’s your fault?"

"Logically? No. But it… She did something for him I couldn’t. I just feel… inferior somehow."

"But it’s not like you can’t try again Buffy. If you really want a child you can try again."

Buffy smiled weakly. "I know. This is my problem, not his, he didn’t choose for her to become pregnant, he didn’t choose for her to run away." Buffy paused. "But he could learn the value if a condom." She grinned.

Both women began laughing, easing the tension they both felt.

As Willow’s laughter dried up she reached over and took Buffy’s hand, looking into her eyes. "So you still love him?"

"Yeah."

"And you forgive him?" she confirmed.

"I guess."

"And you don’t blame him?"

"No."

Willow smiled. "It’s time you took the next step then."

"Which is?"

"Tell him, then start anew."

Buffy looked into her friends eyes, seeing only the truth there.

"I guess." She said, non comically.

"Do you guess? No, you know, you’re just scared."

She was right. "I never thought you’d be Angelus’ advocate." She smiled.

"I’m not, I’m yours. I know you want him, I know he makes you happy." Buffy smiled. "Just tell him that if he ever hurts you again he’s going to have one brassed off designer and her guitarist boyfriend on his tail."

Buffy laughed. "Thanks Will. I can always count on you."

Buffy stood by the dining room window, looking out on the grounds. She loved these gardens; so immaculate yet still wild looking.

Angelus came up and stood behind her, as a reflex she leaned back into him. "Hi."

He wrapped his hands around her waist and she clamped her hands over his. "Hi." He answered back, surprised at her manor. "Did you get on OK?"

"Yeah, Willow’s dealing with everything fine. You?"

"A few hiccups, nothing major."

Buffy sighed. "I had a talk with Willow,"

"Anything interesting?"

"She thinks I’m ready to forgive you."

Angel paused, not sure he could handle the rejection his next question could lead to. "Are you?

"I think so."

Angelus tightened his arms around her and buried his head in her neck, breathing in her scent. "You don’t know what that means to me."

He brushed her hair out of the way and began kissing her neck and law line.

Buffy relaxed into him, this was what she had been missing, this attention, this closeness to her soulmate.

"I missed you." She said softly.

Angelus released Buffy and gently turned her around. He tilted her chin up until she looked into his deep brown eyes.

"I love you." He said, the truth f that statement written on every feature.

Buffy smiled. "Me too." She said. "I tried not to but I couldn’t stop."

Angelus lowered his head until his lips brushed over hers, softly exploring something so long denied him. Slowly he increased both the pressure and urgency. Buffy parted her lips, granting him entrance to explore further.

Angelus pulled her closer, pressing his body firmly into hers, his need for her evident in every fibre of his being. His hands began rubbing her back and Buffy whimpered at the gesture. It was so familiar to her and something she had been missing for a very long time.

Everything about him was both new yet familiar.

Buffy was scared. Not as scared as the first time as they made love but almost. Not only was sex something she was out of the habit of recently, she also knew she was crossing a line, leaving herself open to hurt and pain. That was scary.

"I love you." Angelus whispered in her ear. He picked her up in a fireman’s carry and continued to kiss her as he headed for the door.

Buffy stiffened slightly, knowing they were heading to the bedroom. She didn’t want her first time back with Angelus to be tainted with her memories.

"Wait." She said breathlessly. "Here. Want it here."

Angelus looked at her a second, wondering why she wanted to make love in the kitchen. But if that’s what she wanted. He carried her to the kitchen table, resting her on the edge as he swept everything in the way onto the floor before returning to his love. She leaned back on the table, pulling him down with her and devouring his mouth with passionate kisses.

Chapter 23

Buffy gave a small sigh as she tried to snuggle in closer to Angelus while they lay, naked on the sofa in the study.

Angelus kissed the top of her head as he thought how much he missed that sound. He hadn’t realised until this very moment.

"You OK?" he asked, pulling the blanket that covered her higher, in case she was cold.

"If I were a cat I’d purr." She replied. Angelus smiled, happy to have been forgiven.

"I’m sorry Buffy, for these past months."

She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. "I know."

"I mean, really."

Buffy smiled, knowing he obviously needed reassuring. "There were times when I wished I could wish you dead. But I couldn’t, I don’t."

Angelus pulled her closer to him again.

"Ready for bed?" he asked.

Buffy stiffened. "I…"

"What?" he asked, concerned with her sudden change in mood.

"That bed. I cant… I cant sleep there."

Angelus nodded slowly, realising he should have thought about that. "We 'll sleep in your room then. OK?"

"Sure."

"I’ll have the bed removed tomorrow then we can shop for another after work."

"Sounds good, but can I burn the bed before they take it away?"

"You want to burn it?" he asked, incredulously.

"Well, I can settle for taking a really big knife to it."

"Buffy…"

Buffy smiled. "Kidding. A new bed is fine."

Angelus exhaled and kissed her again. For a moment he… well he wasn’t sure what he thought, just that he had made a mess of things again.

Buffy arrived to work the next morning, grinning from ear to ear.

"Went well then." Smiled Willow.

"You could say that." Said Buffy, accepting a coffee.

"So, spill. I need details."

Buffy frowned. "You don’t want these details." She assured Willow.

"Oh! That kind of make up." She said, smiling slyly.

Buffy couldn’t keep the grin from her face for long. "Yes, that kind of making up." She confirmed. "I’m moving back in."

"That’s great." Said Willow.

"Way to make me feel wanted." Said Buffy with a touch of sarcasm

"Oh, no. I mean you’re a great roomie, and I will miss the company but I’m happy for you. Plus, I just kind of have news of my own."

"You do? Come on then, I need details." Said Buffy leaning forward.

"Remember when Oz went all distant a few months back?" Buffy nodded. "Well he’s back to his old self but not quite. Like he’s grown up. I found a sketch he’d done of names, they turned out to be design’s for a business he’s thinking of setting up, teaching music. He’ll still tour with the band, just less often. Then the other day he told me he wants to cook dinner on Saturday for me. He said I wasn’t to be back before 6pm and gave me vouchers for a day at the beauty spa."

"He’s going to propose!" said Buffy, drawing the same conclusion.

"Yep." Smiled willow. Her smile faded at the reality check though. "It isn’t much to go on though, I have to admit. I could be wrong."

Buffy looked sternly at her. "You are not wrong. You know as well as I do that Oz doesn’t talk much and since we’ve both learned to translate the non-verbal, I think you’re right. He was considering his future, now he’s making plans for a more settled life with you."

Willow looked relieved. "Thanks Buffy, I was worried I was getting all worked up, thinking I was reading too much into this."

"You aren’t. Honestly."

"Thanks. So when are you coming by for your stuff?"

"Probably tomorrow. We’re shopping for a new bed tonight."

"That’s fine. Oz has a gig tomorrow but I can be there if you need help packing and carrying."

"I’ll be fine. You go have fun at your fiancées gig."

Buffy let herself into Willows apartment the next evening, Angelus followed her in.

"Shouldn’t take long." Said Buffy turning the light on. "Pretty much it’s just clothes."

She turned to close the door only to see Penn standing in the doorway. Buffy gasped and stepped back, reaching for the gun in her purse. Angelus stepped forward to attack him.

"Wait!" he said, holding his hands up. I just want to talk. Please."

Angelus stopped, as did Buffy.

"Keep your hand s up." Said Angelus, gesturing for him to enter.

"Thank you." Sighed Penn as he entered, keeping his hands raised.

"What do you want?" Angelus asked, gruffly.

"I… I’m sorry. I never meant for things to go this far."

"What far?" asked Buffy.

"I… He wants to kill you Buffy."

"So what’s this crisis of conscious owed to?" asked Angelus.

Penn met his gaze. "I’m not a killer."

"But it’s OK for you to have Buffy attacked? To split us up? To lie to me?"

Penn’s passive look flashed angry for a second. "As right as it was for you to let me take the rap for that bar fight."

"So that’s it? You still resent that?"

"Damn right I do! You sold me out! You started it but I went to juvi for it. If it hadn’t been for that sentence I could be in your shoes now. Instead I’m here, working for the highest bidder."

"That’s not his fault." Defended Buffy. "You could have given the police his name."

"Yeah, and been branded a snitch. No thanks."

Angelus knew Penn was right. He has let Penn carry the can for a fight he started, he could have turned himself in, sparing Penn the whole wrath of the situation but he didn’t.

"I never realised you resented me so much."

Penn just glared.

"Hold up here!" said Buffy, stepping between the two men. "He." She said, pointing at Angelus. "Has done so much for you. Given you money, bailed you out if jail, paid your rent when you blew it all on drugs. How dare you blame him for ruining your life."

"He did! He knows it, I know it. Why do you think he still does so much for me? Because he owes me! This isn’t your concern Buffy, so stay out of it."

Buffy shook her head. "So what did you come her for then?"

"To say sorry, and to let you know there’s a price on your head. It’s Windham-Price. He wants to ruin Angelus, through you. The hit’s due to go down in Friday."

"We know." Said Buffy. "We’ve known for a while. We know just how deep in this you are, who’s behind it and just what’s going to happen."

"You do? How?"

Just then the door to willows apparent opened to reveal a man kneeling where the lock would have been when the door was closed and Wesley standing behind him, a gun aimed at Buffy.

Chapter 24

Angelus again went to pounce but Wesley cocked the gun. "I wouldn’t he said coldly.

Angelus stopped, fearful because the gun was aimed in Buffy’s direction.

"You can go now Tim." Said Wes and the man who had opened the door crawled out of the way of the gun and got up to leave.

Price entered the room and closed the door. Never taking his gun off Buffy.

"Good." He said. "Now Angelus, if you know as much about me as I know about you, you’ll know I’ve become an excellent marksman recently. I wouldn’t try anything or Buffy dies."

Angelus growled at Penn. "You set us up!"

"I didn’t! I swear!"

"He’s right." Said Wesley. "He really did have a change of heart, unfortunately. But I knew he’d come to you so I fed him false information. Oh and the barman you paid? He came straight to me and I told him what to tell you."

"So you’re here to kill us?" asked Angelus.

"No. I’m here to kill Buffy and Penn, you’ll take the blame."

"You can’t do that!" said Buffy. "The police will know it wasn’t him."

"Like with the mugging? I don’t think so Buffy. I have this all sorted. The man I bought this gun from will swear blind he sold it to Angelus. The evidence will all lead to Angelus, there’s no way he’ll get off."

"Wes, it doesn’t have to be this way." Said Angelus. "I want to be part of Cordelia's life, I want to help raise our son."

Wes smiled coldly. "Too late."

"No, it isn’t. I’m sorry for what I said Wes, I really am. I was just scared. And I’m sorry I hounded you for information but I just wanted to be a part of their lives. Pleas Wes, it’s not too late."

"It’s FAR too late Angelus. The only thing left is misery and pain. You see Cordelia died giving birth to your progeny."

Angelus complexion turned ashen. "No."

"Yes. So did the bastard child."

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"Because destroying you became a much bigger priority."

Angelus was reeling from this information "How?" He asked.

"The placenta began to detach prematurely. She bled to death while the baby suffocated."

Angelus sat on the arm of the nearest chair. "That… she should have been OK." He mumbled to himself.

Everyone was silent for a few seconds. Buffy tried slowly, to reach into her purse and withdraw her gun.

"I wouldn’t." said Wesley, warning her.

"No." said Angelus softly.

"I assure you it’s true." Said Wesley.

"No, I didn’t mean… I didn’t kill her, you did." Angelus looked up, straight into Wesley’s eyes. "She didn’t go to hospital. If she had one of my detectives would have found something, if you took her anywhere it would have been to some drunk quack who probably couldn’t keep his licence. If you’d just taken her to hospital they would have saved her, they have drugs to stop that now."

Wesley clenched his teeth. "I did not kill her. If it wasn’t for your irresponsibility getting her pregnant, then she never would have been in danger and if you hadn’t sent her away she wouldn’t have needed my help. Any way you slice this it’s your fault, she died because of your demon spawn!"

Wesley was shaking with rage now.

Angelus smirked. "You keep telling yourself that." He said, calmly.

"I will." Wesley smiled coldly, using his left hand to pull a tranquilliser gun from the back of his trousers. He pointed the gun at Angelus. "By the time you wake up Buffy and Penn will be dead. You keep telling everyone it wasn’t your fault as you rot in jail."

"I’ll tell them I was drugged," said Angelus. "They’ll test for it."

"No, I’m not stupid enough to tell you everything, suffice to say the drug in this gun should be out of your system in two hours and it’s not routinely screened for. They wont find a thing. I hope your life is as happy as mine has been since Cordelia died." He looked over to Buffy. "I am sorry Buffy. This isn’t your doing and you don’t deserve this. It’s just unfortunate that you are the only thing Angelus has ever cared about in his sorry life."

Wesley made to fire the tranquilliser gun and Buffy lunged at Angelus. As Buffy moved Wes began shooting at her but he missed. Buffy pulled Angelus to the ground, the tranquilliser shot missing him but getting Buffy in her side. She and Angelus scrambled behind the sofa, out of sight of the gun.

Wesley’s voice was full of rage. "That wasn’t smart!" he yelled.

Buffy could feel her eyes becoming heavy, what ever was in the tranquilliser gun, it was potent. She dragged her handbag from her shoulder.

"Gun." She said weakly before passing out, hoping with every last fibre of her being that she would wake up again.

Buffy awoke in Willow’s bed, Angelus standing over her.

"Hey." He smiled down at her.

Buffy shook her head to clear it. "What happ… Oh god, are you OK?"

He smiled at her. "I’m fine, are you OK?"

Buffy put her hand to her throbbing head. "The worlds worst hangover but I think I’ll live."

Angelus pulled her tiny frame up off the bed and hugged her. "I was so worried."

"I’m OK now." She replied. "Oxygen becoming an issue though!"

"Oh, sorry," he said, releasing his tight grip.

Buffy lay back down. "What happened?"

"After you passed out I took the gun from your bag. Penn and Wes were wrestling on the floor. Wes shot Penn, as he stood up to come after us, I shot Wes."

"Are they… dead?"

"Penn, no. It’s superficial, he’ll make it. Last I heard on Wes he was in surgery but they think he’ll be OK. Penn’s given a statement to the police too, telling the truth for once."

Buffy sighed, relieved. A murder charge was the last thing they needed now. "Good. And you’re not hurt?"

"No. The police want to talk to you, are you up to it?"

Buffy nodded. "Sure. They still here?"

Angelus nodded over to the door where a uniformed officer stood. "Hi." Said Buffy, noticing him for the first time. "Didn’t mean to ignore you."

"It’s fine ma’am." The officer smiled at her. "Perfectly understandable."

Buffy looked back to Angelus. "I’ll talk to them. I don’t promise to be coherent but I’ll talk."

Angelus kissed her forehead lightly. "Be right back." He said.

Chapter 25

Buffy and Angelus arrived home that evening, both rather shaken. Though it was past midnight, neither was in the mood for sleep but they headed for the bedroom anyway.

Buffy sat on the new, four-poster bed, as Angelus disappeared. He appeared a few minutes later with two large drinks.

"You’re shaking." He observed.

"Shock."

He handed her a drink. "Here, drink this."

Buffy took the drink and downed its contents, pulling a face. Placing the empty glass on the bedside table she unbuttoned her blouse and hissed in pain as she moved her shoulder back to remove it.

"What?" asked Angelus.

"Nothing. I think I hit my shoulder as I fell."

"Let me see." He said, sitting beside her. Buffy turned away slightly, so he could see the shoulder.

"It’s bruised. Won’t be pretty in the morning."

Buffy leaned back into him, her unspilled tears shining in her eyes.

"You almost went away today." She told him.

"We both did."

"I feel like… If I lost you."

"Shh." He said, "We’re both fine."

Buffy turned to him. "I don’t know what I’d do without you."

Angelus leaned in and captured her lips in a gentle, loving kiss. Buffy relaxed into him, needing this release as much as he did.

Angelus pulled her shirt the rest of the way off her arms and quickly freed her bra, removing that also. Tenderly he pushed her back so she lay on the bed as he began by kissing her neck, softly. Slowly he trailed a path of kisses down over her chest. He took his time, savouring every inch of her.

Buffy moaned slightly as he took one of her nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the nipple and gently nipping it with his teeth.

He moved over to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. Buffy tangled her hand in his hair, lightly urging him on.

Angelus then continued his journey across her body, kissing his way over her stomach until he reached her pants. He rested his cheek against her tummy as he opened her zip, luxuriating in her heat and scent. Once opened, he pushed her pants down over her hips then moved off the bed to sit between her legs witch were dangling off the edge of the bed. Freeing her from her trousers he began another trail of kisses, this time from her ankle. Buffy whimpered slightly as he reached her thigh and slowed his pace, relishing this moment with her.

After an eternity he reached her warm core and softly parted her lips to expose her sex. Tenderly he began to rub her pearl with his tongue as his fingers gently massaged her lips.

Buffy’s mews grew louder as he continued and his actions became harder.

"Angel." She whispered.

Angelus paused briefly. He hadn’t heard that name in so long. Only Buffy had ever called him Angel and only in intimate moments, times when they were perfectly attuned to each other.

Swallowing, he continued, knowing he was completely forgiven now. He had heard Buffy’s assurances but part of his didn’t totally believe it. He couldn’t believe he was her Angel again, not until this moment.

Carefully he built Buffy up to her peak, watching as her skin flushed and smiling as her cries became filled with desire.

He sucked her bud into his mouth roughly, tipping her over the edge into ecstasy. As she lay in rapture, twitching slightly he quickly shed his own clothes and lay atop her, his manhood poised at her entrance.

Buffy wrapped her hands around him and moved her hips up in a silent invitation.

His member slid into her tight sheath and he paused for a moment, delighting in the feel of her. Buffy pulled his head down into a kiss as he began thrusting inside her.

They moved together in a graceful dance of love, neither rushing, both needing this to last, to be gentle. This was more than sex, this was making love. Since Buffy had forgiven him their sex had been passionate and needful. This was more than desire though, this was a pure expression of their feelings for each other.

Angel pulled out of the kiss and gazed down at Buffy. Her hair was fanned out around her head and her eyes were heavy with desire.

"Your beautiful." He whispered reverently.

Buffy smiled her reply. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He lowered his head again, burying it in her neck as he lavished his kisses there. Buffy mewed her appreciation.

As Angelus felt his peak approach, he felt Buffy’s sheath clamp down on him as she cried out with her own release. Angelus followed, spilling his seed into her and collapsing on top of her. Buffy held him tightly, as though she might loose him at any moment.

After making love, they lay in bed together, neither ready for sleep. Buffy’s head rested on his chest as she waited for him to open up. She knew he needed to talk, it just took time.

"I don’t know how to feel." He said eventually.

"About what?"

"Everything. It’s like I have a hundred different emotions, all warring with each other for supremacy."

Buffy kissed his chest. "One at a time."

Angelus took a deep breath. "Penn… I know I owed him… I just never realised how much he resented me. Hated me. He’s the only friend I brought from my childhood, the only good thing I could salvage."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Betrayed, angry. He was supposed to be a friend, if he had a problem he should have come to me."

"But he did in the end."

"Which makes being angry at him even harder. He took a bullet for us."

"I think you need to talk to him, work it out between you. Maybe there’s nothing left to salvage but maybe there is."

Angelus nodded, knowing that this one had no easy conclusions.

"Then there’s Wes…" he began.

Buffy let the pause lay for a few moments, giving him time to collect his thoughts before prompting him. "What about Wes?"

"I shot him. I mean I’ve hurt people before, probably cracked a few ribs but I shot him… and I didn’t care. At that moment I wished him dead."

"It’s only natural. Your survival instincts kicked in, you had no choice."

"I know… I know." He answered softly. "What if I’d killed him though?"

"We’d deal, like we always do. You did the right thing Angelus. He would have killed us all, you saved us."

He kissed the top of her head.

"When did you get so smart?" he asked, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"You only just noticed?" she joked back.

His smile faded to something akin to awe. "Then there’s you," he said. "I feel so happy that you gave me another chance… I don’t deserve you, I never have. That’s what makes your coming home so much sweeter."

"But." She asked, knowing there was a but.

"I just don’t feel like I should be happy."

"Because of Cordelia." She finished for him.

He nodded. "I know it’s stupid. I never had anything with them, how can I miss something I never had."

"It isn’t stupid."

"I just always figured that at some point she’d forgive me, I’d be part of their lives again."

Buffy looked up at him. "It isn’t stupid. I know exactly how that feels."

Angelus nodded, realising she was talking about the child she lost. "So what do I do?"

"Nothing." She answered gently. "There’s nothing you can do. Day by day it’ll get easier. You’ll still always love him, he will always be with you but one day it wont hurt to think about him. It won’t feel like you cant breath, like your heart’s about to split apart. You’ll just feel sad that you missed out. Then one day you’ll be sitting at our child’s graduation. You’ll wonder what Cordelia's' son would have looked like, what he would have studied, would he have been valedictorian? Then you’ll brush away a tear, stand and applaud our child, knowing it’s the future that counts."

Angelus knew that was a truth she had learnt the hard way. "You still think about our baby?"

"Most days."

"Did you know what sex it was?"

"I never asked. Might have been too early to tell but I didn’t want to know anyway." She answered honestly.

"Why?"

"It would be too real then. I’d lay awake thinking of names, it would become a person. I thought that knowing would just make things harder."

They lay silently together for a while. Finally, unburdened and exhausted, they both drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 26

A week later Angelus got the call he was after from the detective investigating the case, Pearce.

After Penn confessed all, the two muggers confessed and pled guilty. As such Buffy’s belongings weren’t needed as evidence and could be returned. Usually detective Pearce wouldn’t release them to anyone but the owner but after hearing Angelus story, and knowing he was no longer implicated in any way, he agreed to bend the rules.

Angelus rushed from his office, talking hurriedly on his cell phone as he breezed passed his secretaries.

They smiled at each other. With Angelus not around as much at the moment, their workload was greater but the new happier atmosphere more than made up for that.

Buffy looked oddly at Willow as she took the phone call.

"What’s up?" asked Buffy, noting Willows flustered attitude as she replaced the receiver.

"I uh, I have to go… go do something."

"Will? What’s wrong?" asked Buffy concerned.

"Nothing."

"Is it Oz? Has he changed his mind?"

"No, we’re still getting married, it isn’t about him."

"Just tell me Will, you’re scaring me."

"It’s nothing, just something I have to do… Now."

Before she could be questioned further she rushed from the shop without even saying goodbye.

Buffy looked after her, wondering why her friend would lie to her. And she was lying. Willow only got that flustered when she was hiding something.

Buffy soon shrugged off her ill feelings and got back to work. Willow would just have to tell her when she was ready.

The phone rang again about an hour later.

"Summers Designs." She answered.

"Buffy, it’s me."

"Angelus, what’s up?"

"Nothing, I need you to meet me as soon as possible."

"I can’t leave right now. Will ran out on me."

"Get one of the new girls to watch the shop or something, I need you."

Again Buffy became worried. Angelus was never usually this insistent. Was it possible both he and Willow were in trouble? "What is it?" she asked, seriously.

"I need to see you, face to face. Please Buffy this is important."

Buffy sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to tell her more. "Fine, where?"

"By Bluff Point. Come soon, please." He said, hanging up.

Buffy stared at the phone for a few seconds wondering if her life was about to be turned upside down again.

Finally spurred into action she called up to the girls upstairs. "Tracey, Viv, I got to go out for a while, can you keep an eye on the shop?"

"Sure thing." Viv shouted back.

Buffy ran out to her car.

Buffy arrived at Bluff Point to see about ten cars parked there and a Winnebago. She got out of her car and called to Angelus.

"Buffy." Called willow.

Buffy turned to see Willow in the doorway of the Winnebago.

"Will? What’s going on?"

"Come in, then I’ll tell you."

Buffy walked over to the motor home and entered to see Angelus in there with champagne in his hand. Willow quickly exited and closed the door behind her.

"Will someone please tell me what’s happening?"

Angelus smiled and handed her a champagne glass.

"I’m sorry for the subterfuge, I wanted to surprise you."

"I’m surprised." She smiled. "So, what’s up?"

Angelus guided her to a couch by the kitchen area and sat her down. "I just wanted to tell you something… Buffy, I know I’ve made a mess of things in the past. Believe me, I wont ever again."

Buffy went to speak but Angelus held up his hand to stop her.

"Please, just let me get this out… We’re making a new start, together. And I just wanted that start to be… official." He reached into his pocket and withdrew Buffy’s claddagh ring. She gasped.

"When did…?"

"This morning. I want to do things properly Buffy. I want you to renew our marriage vows, here, today."

"Today?!"

"I have everything arranged. The minister’s here, Willow has a dress for you, it’s all set up."

Buffy was speechless. She reached out for the ring Angelus held but he withdrew his hand playfully

"Not until you say yes." He chastised, teasingly.

"Of course it’s yes." She said, flinging her arms around him.

Buffy emerged from the Winnebago dressed in a simple white gown, her hair up with a white rose pinned in it.

With Willow in tow Buffy headed out to the edge of the point, overlooking the sea. Angelus waited for her with the minister and smiled as he saw her.

There were only about a dozen guests sitting of folding chairs and a simple arch had been erected where the minister stood.

Buffy looked around the crowd of her close friends, wishing her mother could be there too. She shrugged off that thought, hoping her mother was watching her from above, the way Buffy imagined just after she died.

Willow took her seat as Buffy walked down the isle, towards her lover, her husband and her soulmate.

The minister began and Buffy and Angelus turned to him, though neither took their gaze from the other.

Buffy didn’t remember much of the ceremony, she was too emotional. She did remember getting her ring back though, and the look of utter devotion on Angelus’ face as he gently placed it back where it belonged. She also remembered kissing him at the end and people clapping.

The rest didn’t matter. She was where she belonged, at Angelus’ side.

Epilogue

11 months later

Buffy sat on the sofa in the study waiting for Angelus to get home. She was a mass of mixed emotions.

She was doing the right thing and she knew it, however that didn’t make things easier.

Last time things went so badly and while it was almost a year since they renewed their marriage vows, the memory of the last baby and the separation still lay heavy in her heart. Especially now.

Logically she knew that things wouldn’t be the same this time. Penn and Wesley were behind bars and would stay there. Penn had another three years to serve, Wesley had at least another fifteen after other people came forward and he was also charged with racketeering.

Penn and Angelus had made peace with each other so Penn no longer bore them any ill will.

This time it was just she, Angelus and their baby.

But she could still loose it, not only was there a family history of miscarriage, there was also, now, a personal history.

However she couldn’t keep it from him again regardless of how much she wanted to protect him.

He had only just been to Cordelias’ grave, two days ago. The police had never been able to find out what happened to the child so he would visit Cordelia every six weeks. It was as close as he would ever get to his lost son. While the police had been able to prove that Cordelia was pregnant when she left Angelus to be with Wes, Wesley refused to speak on the matter so they couldn’t prove what had happened to them.

Would Cordelia make him happier that Buffy was pregnant or more apprehensive?

She should have waited until in between his visits to tell him, not when the memory of his loss was still fresh in his mind.

She heard the front door open and braced herself. Too late for that now.

Angelus walked into the study and Buffy attempted a smile but it was tight.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

"Wrong? Nothing. I do have news though."

Angelus sat beside her and took her hand, smiling reassuringly at her. "What?"

"I went to the doctors today. I’m pregnant."

Angelus’ face was blank, while which Buffy took as a bad sign.

"Angelus?" she asked, tentatively.

His features changed into a broad smile as he hugged her. "We’ll make it work Buffy. This time will be different. I promise."

Buffy desperately wanted to believe that.

Buffy lay exhausted on the bed, utterly unable to do anything except watch what was happening.

Angelus smiled down at her and took her hand.

The doctor turned back to face them, carrying a small bundle in a blue blanket. He smiled proudly at the new parents as he walked back over to them. Offering the bundle to Buffy he said, "Your son."

Buffy didn’t know where she found the strength from but she accepted the baby and cradled it to her chest.

"He’s beautiful." Said Angelus. Looking own at both of them.

Buffy smiled up at him to see a distant look in his eyes briefly. Then he turned back to them, smiling.

He kissed Buffy’s forehead, then the baby’s. "I love you." He said to both.

"I love you too." Said Buffy, smiling at both her men.

The baby held his hand out and Angelus offered him his finger, which the baby gripped tightly.

Tears shone in Angelus’ eyes; finally he had his family.

The end.