Title: DROWNING

Disclaimer: Not mine

Author: Shirlz@madmail.demon.co.uk

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Ummm, none really unless you have no idea of the whole B/A ship

Feedback: I'd rather not be continually told that I'm crap…constructive feedback please – if you don't like it then tell me why instead of going for the world record of insults in one email…however, if you LOVE it then I'll be more than happy to hear from you!!! (Can you tell I've had some bad experiences lately?!?)

Distribution: You mad fools…but please feel free, just LMK where it's going

Summary: God I hate doing this…so I won't, except to say that it's Buffy POV

Thanx: Sionell for her unending support, the fastest beta in history, getting me over my comma phobia and never telling me to STFU!

Dedication: 'I've finally realized you hold the key…it took me long enough'

I can't remember when it began exactly, when what I was feeling changed, evolved. I don't know if it was one defining moment or whether it was a lot of little ones. Did it creep up on me or was it always there and I was just too blind to see it?

I started to notice things, small things. The mole just under your eye. The curve of your lips. The strong line of your jaw. And when I thought of them I smiled.

I began to look forward to seeing you, and when I did, I would lose myself in you. Your scent would invade my senses. I wondered what it would be like to be held down by your lithe fingers while your sensuous mouth caressed every inch of my skin.

The more time we spent together, the stronger the feelings became. The dynamics of our relationship changed and I fell for you a little more. You were the mysterious, unattainable stranger, my shadowy and fearless knight. I craved you like an addict craved a drug.

Now?

Your voice. Every time I hear it, it's like swimming through melted chocolate, dark and deep. It sends shivers up and down my spine. My skin comes alive, tightening with anticipation. Moisture floods my core, my pulse rate quickens. My nerve endings scream with frustration and need, silently begging for you to claim me as your own. I want to drown in you.

I want to touch you, taste you, map out the contours of your body with my hands and lips. I want to know every inch of you, commit you to memory. I want to burn you on my soul.

I can't eat or drink or sleep. My mind wanders continually and time has become meaningless. It only exists when I am with you and that is more precious than all the gold and diamonds Tiffany's could ever hope to sell. I analyze every word, every action, looking for hidden meanings, for hope that you feel the same way.

It's wrong; I know it is. My head screams at me to end this foolishness, to look for the attainable but my heart tells it to cease its idle chattering.

I never thought I could feel this way about someone, never thought that I would experience that all consuming awareness.

I want you. I need you. I love you.

END