Title: Embracing the Darkness
Author Name: Spike's Slayer Vixen
Author Email: sara_pridmore@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, never owned 'em, never will own 'em *sigh*
Distribution: Most of the chapters of my fics can be found on my
webpage at https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/youvebeenslayed. If you are
interested in having your work posted there or would like to post any
of my work on your site, please just e-mail me.
Summary: This fic is an answer to a challenge from Jay. It goes
something like this. What if a few years after Angel left, Buffy is a
sophomore in college, there is no Dawn and he mother keeps leaving on
trips with her new boyfriend. Buffy feeling alone and hurt after
conversation with Cordelia who had come down to Sunnydale to pay her
a `visit'. Buffy decides to leave...Now four years later the Slayer
returns, but she's found a new side to herself over the years and has
brought back some company that defiantly wont be welcomed by all..
What happened to Buffy during those 4 years and why didn't anyone
tell Angel?
Pairings: B/S, C/A (sorta) Eventually B/A
Category: Drama
Spoilers: Spike doesn't have a chip. Dawn and Riley never existed,
and Joyce and Tara didn't die. Darla never was brought back and no
Conner. Cordelia has spent the four years that Buffy has been gone
trying to seduce Angel and trying to take Buffy’s place (but never
succeeding).
Rating: NC-17
Author's comments: This is dedicated to Jay. I hope that this is what
you were hoping for! This is my first challenge, so be gentle.
Feedback: Any feedback would be much appreciated. Feed a writer's
dream!
WARNING: This fic contains some B/S parts. If this bothers you, do
not read this. This fic has two alternate endings, one B/S and one
B/A. I will only be posting the B/A ending here, so rest assured,
this fic will have a B/A ending. If you are interested in the other
ending, it can be found at my website.

Spike glanced over at Buffy as he drove. He took in her short black
leather miniskirt and skimpy halter top appreciatively. Who would
have ever guessed that this would happen? He and the Slayer, together
against the world. She had changed a lot from the golden girl he had
known when he had first came to Sunnydale. Then she was all sunshine
and daisies. Now she was like him, darkness and anger. She was a
different person for sure, but in her sleep she still looked
innocent, so unlike the jaded woman she had become. He smirked to
himself as he thought about her old friends' faces when they saw the
new her. She had been gone for four years, and oh what a difference.
Her skin was no longer the golden tan it had been back then, but
rather pale and creamy like his own. She no longer frolicked in the
sun but chose to roam the shadows with him. Her hair was no longer
blonde either. She had dyed it jet black and cut it in a blunt bob.
On the small of her back, a tatoo peeked out. It was a heart with a
stake driven through it above a cross. It was the perfect symbol of
the woman she had become.

Spike had ran across Buffy in some godforsaken city at a seedy club
four years ago. She was still broken then, heart sick over the ponce
Angel. Apparently that she-bitch, Cordelia Chase, had paid her a
visit, informing her that Angel had moved on with her, that he was
over Buffy, and that she need not call or visit...ever. It must have
been a pretty nasty encounter because Buffy packed her bags that same
night and left town, going as far as the money in her pocket would
take her. When he had caught sight of her, she was in the process of
being hit on by some scuzzy looking bloke with greasy hair and busy
hands. Deciding to take the chance that she wouldn't stake him, he
came to her rescue.

"Hey there, mate, how about giving my girl some breathing space,"
Spike had said loudly, walking up behind the guy. Buffy recognized
the familiar British accent immediately and turned wide eyes to
Spike, silently begging him to get her out of the mess she was in.

"Well, what if I don't?" the creep challenged, towering over Spike.
Spike looked at him calmly before jabbing two fingers in the guy's
throat, making it nearly impossible for him to breath. He punched the
jerk in the nose and then grabbed a pool cue, breaking it over his
back. The guy laid there in a crumpled heap on the floor of the club
while Spike slid his arm protectively around Buffy and led her out of
the hell hole. He took her back to his place, an old abandoned
building on the outside of town. It was admittedly a dump, too, but
it was better than the skeevy club with all of the groping hands.

"What the bloody hell were you doing in a place like that, luv?" he
asked her as he quickly cleared off a chair for her to sit down on.
He dumped the pile of laundry that had previously occuppied the chair
into a heap on the floor. Pulling up an old crate in front of her, he
sat down and lit up a cigarette. She just shrugged her shoulders,
staring down at the floor, hoping that he wouldn't notice the tears
streaming down her cheeks. He did. "What's wrong, pet?" he asked,
tilting her chin up so that she would have to meet his eyes. "Does
your mum know that you are here?"

"My mother doesn't know anything about me anymore," Buffy snorted,
wiping her eyes furiously. "She's much too busy with Ted to notice
that I even exist." She sniffled a little, hugging herself tightly.
Spike offered her his jacket, thinking she might be cold. She took it
gratefully, slipping it on immediately. "And as for the club, well
here is as good as anywhere I guess," she said bitterly. It took some
prodding but Spike finally got the whole story out of her. By the
time she got to the end, she was crying fresh tears and Spike was one
*very* pissed off vampire. He didn't know who he wanted to kill more,
Cordelia or Angel. He couldn't believe it when Angel had left Buffy
to go to LA, but it was unbe-fucking-liveable that he would choose
Cordelia over Buffy. She was the most heinous bitch he had ever had
the displeasure of knowing, including Darla. Now *that* was saying
something.

"Now, pet, stop your crying. If Angel chose that skank over you, then
it is his loss, not yours. You are beautiful and wonderful and all of
those fools in Sunnydale are too stupid to realize what you are
worth," Spike told her gently. He had taken her in his arms and held
her while she cried. From then on, he became her protector and
eventually her lover. At first she had withdrawn inside herself,
becoming a mere shell of the person she had once been. Spike had put
forth a great effort to bring her out of her funk, and eventually a
new Buffy emerged. She turned away from the life she had known in
Sunnydale, the life that had only brought her pain and suffering. She
had embraced the darkness that lingers deep down in all of us. She no
longer answered to Buffy, but insisted on being called by either
Slayer or Buff. It didn't escape Spike that these were names that
Angelus had called her, but he didn't say anything. He just complied
with her wishes, figuring it was another way for her to vent her pain.

Then one day, out of nowhere, she decided she wanted to go back to
Sunnydale. She wanted to "show them all the new Buff." Spike wasn't
exactly comfortable with the idea, but he could never deny her
anything. Even before all of this had happened, he had been attracted
to her but never in a million years dreamed that he could have her.
Now, she was *his* girl and everytime he thought about it, he puffed
his chest out with pride. He knew that her old friends wouldn't
except their relationship, but he didn't give a damn.

Just then she stirred in her seat, catching him staring at her. She
gave him a dark, seductive smile as she leaned over, licking his ear.
He stiffened in his seat as his cock immediately sprang to attention,
straining against the zipper of his jeans. "Watching me while I
sleep?" she asked him in a flirty tone. "That's not fair." She slid
across the seat, throwing one let over and stradling him as he drove.
She nimbly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pulling out his fully
erect shaft. He sucked in unneeded breathes as she stroked him
softly. Then she plunged herself down, sheathing him in her tight,
wet channel. She slowly began to grind against him.

"Um, love, I don't know if I can drive like this," he sputtered,
swerving all over the road. She just smiled at him before bending her
head down to kiss and suck the sensitive spot on his neck, right
below his ear. He groaned, giving up the fight. He tried to
concentrate on the road as best as he could while she fucked him
behind the wheel. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, he used the
other to unbutton her shirt, sliding it down her shoulders. She never
wore any kind of bra or panties anymore, so her breasts lay before
him, totally exposed. It was going to be a *long* trip.

Angel stared down at the flier laying on his desk. Buffy's face
stared back at him. He could almost feel the warmth radiating from
her smile. She had been gone four years, four excruciating years. He
remembered the day that Willow had called to tell him that she had
vanished without a trace. He had done everything in his power to find
her, used every resource available to him to track her down, and had
came up with nothing. Not one trace. He rubbed his tired eyes
wearily, sighing heavily. The last four years had been pure hell not
knowing whether or not she was alive or dead. He had plastered fliers
like the one in front of him everywhere that he could think of,
offering a huge reward for anyone that could tell him where she was.
All that he had came up with was a bunch of false leads and a lot of
heartache.

The door to his office creaked open, and Cordelia came sauntering in
holding a mug of warmed blood. She set it down in front of him, her
expression hardening when she saw the flier on his desk. "Thought you
could use a little snack," she told him stiffly. Sheh glared at
Buffy's smiling face staring up at her from the flier. "Angel, when
are you going to give up? Quit torturing yourself already. Buffy is
gone and she is not coming back. She's probably dead anyway," she
blurted.

Angel jerked his head up, glaring at her with rage. "She is *not*
dead," he growled fiercely. "And until I find her, I'll never be able
to move on. How can you say things like that, Cordelia? My god, how
many times did she save your life? What the hell is wrong with you?
How can you be so ungrateful?"

"Ungrateful? *I'm* ungrateful? I'm not the one who walked out on my
friends and family without so much as a goodbye. Excuse me if I don't
bow down before the supposed greatness that is Buffy Summers. In case
you don't remember, *you* broke up with *her*. You decided you didn't
want to be with her anymore, and now all of a sudden you decide it
was all a big mistake and you can't live without her? It's time to
move on, Angel. She did. Let me help you," she told him, spinning his
chair around and straddling his lap. "I can make you forget all about
her," she said, pressing herself against him suggestively.

Angel stood up abruptly, dumping Cordelia in the floor
unceremoniously. "Cordelia, do us both a favor and get out of my
sight before I say something we will both regret." Looking up at him
in shock and disbelief, Cordelia slowly got up, brushing herself off.
She glared at him and then turned and stomped out of the room,
slamming the door so hard that a painting fell off of the wall with a
crash. Angel sat back down at his desk, staring at Buffy's picture.
Cordelia's words echoed in his head. '*You* broke up with
*her*.' 'She is not coming back. She's probably dead anyway.' Angel
slammed his fist down on the desk, causing blood to slosh over the
side of the mug. He had been a damn fool to leave Buffy. He would not
rest until he got her back safe and sound and then he would never let
her go.

Willow and Tara giggled together as they finished straightening up
some of the shelves of the Magic Box. Willow smiled as her
girlfriend's hand brushed her own. She had never felt so full of love
in all of her life. Sure, she had crush on Xander once upon a time
and she really had felt strong feelings for Oz, but she knew in her
heart that she had never really loved anyone until Tara. They were
perfect for each other in every way. Willow knew that she would never
have been able to make it through these last few years without her.
There wasn't a day that had went by since Buffy had left that she
hadn't wondered if her friend was dead or alive. Tara understood and
was always there to comfort her and reassure her. She always knew
just the thing to say to make her feel better.

Just then the bell jangled, signaling that a customer had just walked
in. "We better get that," Willow told Tara. "Anya will have our heads
if we don't make a profit while she is gone." The girls had been left
in charge of the shop while Anya went out of town on business, and
they really wanted to prove to her that they could run the place
successfully while she was gone. The two girls hurried to the front
of the shop, giggling as they went. The laughter died in Willow's
throat when she saw who was standing in the middle of the shop. Her
mouth hung open in shock. "Oh my god...Buffy," she whispered, a
hundred different emotions flooding through her at once.

Buffy stood there, holding Spike's hand for comfort and
support. "Hey, Will," Buffy said nonchalantly. "And it's Buff now,
okay?"

"Y-you look so d-different," Tara stuttered awkwardly. Neither she
nor Willow could believe their eyes. This was not the Buffy that they
had once known and loved. This Buffy looked...well, trashy at
best. "W-who is your friend?"

"Spike," Willow answered for her. "That's Spike. You are with Spike.
Why are you with Spike?" she asked in confusion. "You are holding his
hand?!" She was sure she was seeing things. The Buffy she had known
before would have staked Spike given the opportunity. She certainly
wouldn't be all cuddled up to him, wearing his jacket. Of course, the
Buffy she had known had blond hair and a tan. And no tatoos.

Spike glared at her angrily. Buffy just shrugged her shoulder. "I'm
his girl now," she said simply. Willow leaned against the counter for
support. This was all too much. Just then, Xander and Giles walked in
together, deep in conversation. When they saw Buffy, they froze.

"Buffster! You are back! Thank God!" he said, starting forward to hug
her. Then he stopped, noticing Spike for the first time. "Uh, Buff?
Why are you holding Spike's hand?"

Buffy looked at him calmly. "Because that's what you do with someone
you are sleeping with."

Xander looked at her with wide eyes. "How? What? How?" he blurted in
disbelief. He was sure that he had heard her wrong. Please, God, let
him have heard her wrong.

"Three excellent questions," Giles said, speaking for the first time.
He stared at the girl that he had come to think of as a daughter,
barely recognizing the person that stood before him. He wanted to hug
her, but she seemed like a stranger to him now. "Buffy, does your
mother know that you are back?" he asked her gently.

Buffy's expression hardened at the mention of her mother. "No, and
she isn't going to know either," she said firmly. "She never cared
before. She doesn't deserve to know." Everyone was shocked at the
bitterness in Buffy's voice. It was quite obvious to everyone that
this was a very different Buffy than the one that had known. "So I
just wanted to let you all know that I'm back in town, at least for
now," she told them casually.

"Where are you going to be staying?" Giles asked anxiously. He was
afraid that if he let her walk out that door, he would never see her
again.

"You know the old factory? That's where we will be," Buffy said. She
leaned heavily against Spike. Confronting her friends was turning out
to be harder than she had thought it would be. "Anyway, we are going
to split now. I guess I might see you guys tomorrow," she said,
tugging Spike towards the door.

"Buffy!" Willow cried out. Buffy stopped, glancing over her
shoulder. "I mean, Buff," she ammended quickly. "It's good to see you
again. I missed you. We all missed you."

"Yeah," Buffy said, before turning and walking out the door. Everyone
stood there staring at the door in disbelief. They all looked at each
other, not quite sure of what to think. Then, Willow grabbed her
purse, flipping through her address book frantically.

"What are you doing, Will?" Xander asked her.

Willow found what she was looking for, placing her finger in the book
to mark the page. She picked up the phone and began dialing. "I'm
calling Angel," she said, looking up at them while she listened to
the ringing on the other side of the line. "I think he deserves to
know that she's back." It was late, but she knew that Angel would not
be asleep. She listened to it ring several times before he finally
picked up. "Angel," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "It's me.
We need to talk. Can I meet you at the hotel in a few hours?"

Part 2

Angel paced back and forth in the foyer of the hotel. Everyone else
was long gone for the night. It was late. He glanced at his watch.
Willow should be here any minute, he kept telling himself. He had
this feeling that whatever she wanted to talk to him about involved
Buffy. He just prayed to whoever would still listen that she wasn't
bringing him bad news. He didn't think that he could stand to hear
that Buffy was dead. He kept trying to push the thought out of his
head, but he was fighting a losing battle. At times like these, our
darkest thoughts seem to prevail, and we always seem to believe the
worst. He knew that he was letting his fear get the best of him, but
then he always did when it came to Buffy. She was the only thing in
the world that mattered to him.

Just when he thought he was going to go completely mad, he heard a
car pull up in front of the hotel. He heard a car door slam, and then
to his surprise, another one slammed. He vaguely wondered if Willow
had found Buffy and brought her here to him. He knew that it was very
unlikely, and yet couldn't help but be disappointed when he opened
the door and saw Willow standing there with her girlfriend. He tried
not to show his disappointment, but Willow saw how his face fell when
he opened the door. "Willow, Tara, it's good to see you two again,"
he said, trying to sound cheerful. He stepped forward, giving each
woman a hug before stepping aside and allowing them to come
inside. "So...what brings you here?"

Willow looked at him solemnly, while Tara stood behind her,
fidgeting. "I think you know why we are here," Willow said
softly. "It's Buffy. She's back."

Angel felt like he had just had the worlds biggest weight lifted off
of his shoulders. His heart sung with the news. His love was back. He
had a second chance! "That's great! That is the best news I have
heard in my whole life," he said happily. He looked at Willow, who
stood there with a troubled look on her face. His stomach twisted in
a painful knot as he realized that something must be wrong. "But you
aren't telling me everything, are you?" he asked nervously. "What is
it, Willow? Is she alright?"

Willow shifted uncomfortably. "Well, physically she seems fine. It's
just that...she is a very different person than the Buffy we all knew
and loved."

"In what way?" Angel prodded gently. "Please, just be straight with
me. I have to know."

"Well, for one thing, she looks like a totally different person.
She's really pale and looks like she's lost a lot of weight. She cut
her hair and apparently dyed it black. She has a tattoo now, too. And
the clothes that she was wearing. It looks like somebody switched her
taste with Faith's," Willow told him hesitantly.

Angel knew that she was holding out on him. The redhead wouldn't be
as worried as she was if Buffy's change had just been physical. "What
else, Willow?"

She looked at him nervously, as if she was afraid to tell him the
rest. "Well, she won't let anybody call her Buffy anymore. Makes
everyone refer to her as either the Slayer or as Buff. It's like her
way of proving to us that the old Buffy is dead or something." The
news stung Angel down to the core. He knew perfectly well that that
was what he had called Buffy when he had been Angelus. He knew how
much he had hurt her then. It made him wonder exactly what kind of
frame of mind she was now in to insist on being called by those
names. It was like she was intentionally reliving the pain of those
days to torture herself, but he didn't know why. "But, Angel, that's
not the worst of it," Willow told him gently. "I think you should sit
down for this next part."

Angel looked at her irritably. "Just tell me, Willow. I need to know."

"She apparently found a new friend while she was away," Willow said
softly. "Angel, she came back with Spike, and from the way she talks,
they are lovers."

Angel felt as if the world had just come crashing down on him "What?"
he roared in disbelief, causing Willow and Tara to flinch. "No, it
can't be. She wouldn't. Not with Spike," he babbled, desperately
trying to convince himself that it wasn't true.

Willow looked at him with sad eyes. "Angel, you know that I wouldn't
lie to you. She said that she was his girl, and they were holding
hands. Buffy has changed, and I am really worried about her. She
won't go see her mother and won't talk about where she has been for
the last four years."

"I don't understand," Angel said in shock. He couldn't believe what
he had heard. Why would Buffy even give Spike the time of day? He
would kill him. He would rip him apart for even daring to touch his
mate. The only explanation that he could come up with was that it had
to be some kind of trick or spell. His Buffy wouldn't even consider
touching Spike, much less sleeping with him. Images of Buffy in
Spike's arms, letting him inside of her, filled Angel's mind. He
tried to block them out. It was just too painful to think
about. "What would make her do something like this?"

"I think I know," Willow said quietly. She hadn't wanted to bring
this up, but now she knew that she had to. "The day that Buffy left,
Cordelia was supposed to come over and see her. Cordy just called
Buffy up out of the blue one day and told her that she needed to talk
to her. I don't know what happened or what they talked about, but I
do know that after we found out that Buffy was missing, I called here
to tell you."

"Yeah, Will, I already know that. I talked to you, remember?" Angel
reminded her. He wondered what exactly the redhead was getting at
with this whole thing. It was no big secret that Buffy and Cordelia
weren't the best of friends, but he didn't find it that strange that
Cordelia would visit her.

"No, I mean, I called here to talk to you before that. I only got to
talk to you the second time I called," Willow explained. "The first
time I called, I spoke with Cordelia. I told her that Buffy was
missing and that I needed to talk to you immediately. She told me
that she didn't see a reason to bother you with it. She said that
Buffy was out of your life and that you were with her now." She
paused, watching Angel's expression harden as he slowly began to
realize where this was going. "I just couldn't buy that you didn't
care about Buffy anymore, so I called you again later that night when
I knew Cordy would be gone. Look, Angel, I don't want to cause you
and Cordy problems, really. I just think that maybe the news that you
were with Cordy was too much for Buffy. She never stopped loving you
the whole time you were gone."

"Cordelia and I are *not* together," Angel said angrily. "We never
have been, and certainly never will be." He couldn't believe that
bitch. She was such a complete liar. He had taken pity on her, given
her a place to stay when she needed it and a job. He knew that she
had always lusted after him, even when he was still with Buffy and
lived in Sunnydale, but he had thought that she had surely grown up
by now. The more he thought about it, though, it all began to make
since. He remembered how strong she had came on to him this evening,
how she had been dripping for him, perfectly willing and able to do
it right there on his desk. He could just hear her now, telling Buffy
a bunch of vicious lies to make sure she was out of Angel's life for
good. Anger boiled up inside him. He fought to keep control, unaware
that he had shifted into his game face.

"Um, Angel, you are kinda growling," Willow said anxiously. "And what
do you mean you and Cordy aren't together?" She had a puzzled
expression on her face. This was all very bizarre.

"Don't you get it, Willow? It was all one big lie. It was all a big
scheme to get Buffy out of the way for good, because Cordelia has
this sick obsession with me. She actually has it made up in her mind
that we are going to be together. She never even told me that you
called that day. If you hadn't called back, I would have never known
that Buffy was missing." He cursed loudly, slamming his fist through
one of the walls. How could he have been so stupid? "I have to see
her," he said with determination.

Willow just stood there, not knowing what to say. She knew that
Cordelia was a selfish bitch, but she had no idea that she would go
this far. "I don't know if that is a good idea right now. She just
got back and if she sees you know, thinking what she probably thinks,
she might take off again."

"I know that you are probably right," he admitted reluctantly," but I
still have to see her. She has to know that it was all a bunch of
lies. I have never loved anyone but her. I still love her, so much
that it hurts sometimes. I tell you what, I'll make you a deal. You
two should go home tonight. It is really late. I will stick around
here tomorrow. That will give me time to deal with Cordelia and get
things taken care of here. Then, tomorrow night, I'm coming to
Sunnydale. They won't miss me around her for a few days, and I *have*
to see her."

"It's a deal," Willow said, knowing that she wasn't going to get
anywhere arguing with him. "I'll try to get her over to my house
alone tomorrow night. I just have to figure out a way to get her away
from Spike."

"Thanks, Will," he said, kissing her on the cheek. He saw the two
women out, giving them a small little wave as they drove off. He
vaguely wondered how he was going to restrain himself from killing
Cordelia in the morning. He felt so betrayed, both by Cordelia and
Spike. And when he thought about the awful things that Cordelia
probably said to Buffy... She probably hated him, and he didn't blame
her. He would figure out some way to make it up to her, though. He
was going to get her back.

Spike traced Buffy's tattoo with his finger as he watched her sleep
beside him. When they had made it back to the factory, she had
dissolved into tears. It had been harder than she had expected,
facing all of her old friends like that. She had cried herself to
sleep while he held her. Now she was lying on her stomach sleeping
peacefully. He had known that things were really going to hit the fan
when everyone found out about their relationship. They hadn't liked
it when she and Angel were together, and Angel had a soul. Spike was
just a soulless demon in their eyes. He was and he knew that, but
Buffy treated him like a man. It wasn't love she felt for him, he
knew that, but she meant more to him than she could ever know, and he
was not about to let anyone come between them.

She stirred a little in her sleep, rolling over on her side to face
the wall. She pressed her naked bottom against his groin, wriggling
against him. He moaned softly, pressing her against him more
tightly. "I know you are awake, luv," he told her in a husky voice.
There was no response from her. He reached down between them, parting
her legs slightly. He gently inserted a finger into her tight, wet
passage, immediately feeling her vaginal muscles clamp down around
it. He moved it in and out, circling her clit with his thumb. She
sighed in pleasure, opening her legs wider for him. He inserted a
second finger, pumping them in and out of her rhythmically. He felt
her stiffen beside him, knowing she was right on the edge. Quickly he
pulled his fingers out of her. She groaned in protest, turning over
to glare at him. He flipped her onto her back, shifting his body
until he hovered over her. "Open up for me, luv," he instructed her.
She spread her legs wider, allowing him to settle between them. He
rubbed the tip of his cock against her wet opening, causing her to
squirm beneath him in need. Taking pity on her, he entered her with
one quick thrust. She gasped his name as he began to thrust inside
her.

She held on to him tightly, staring up at the ceiling. He was giving
her pleasure, but she still felt empty inside. She closed her eyes
for a moment, allowing herself to pretend that it was Angel who was
making love to her. She almost let herself get lost in the fantasy,
but quickly fluttered her eyes open before it was too late. It was a
dangerous game to play and she knew it. Tears burned behind her eyes
as a familiar pain flooded through her, the same pain that she felt
every time she let herself think about Angel. He didn't want her
anymore. He had Cordelia now. Angel had been a big gray area in her
life for so long, and it had always been so confusing. Not Spike,
though. Spike was all darkness, and she liked that about him. She
forced herself to focus on the present, arching up to meet Spike's
every thrust. He quickened his pace, quickly sending her over the
edge. In the middle of her orgasm, as waves of ecstasy crashed over
her, she heard him softly whisper "I love you" in her ear. Then she
felt him stiffen as his own orgasm overtook him. She felt him jerk as
he spilled his cold seed inside her body.

He rolled off of her, still firmly embedded in her heat. She rolled
with him, winding up on top of him as she gazed down into his
eyes. "I want more, Spike," she told him quietly. "I need more. I
need you to hurt me."

Spike looked up at her with startled eyes. "Buffy, no. I am not going
to hurt you, luv," he told her. The thought of intentionally causing
her pain made him sick to his stomach.

"Please," she pleaded softly. "I need it. I need you to hurt me. I
want you to tie me to the bed really tight, until the ropes cut into
my wrist. I want you to pound me into the bed. Please," she said
again. "Please, Spike, do this for me." He looked at her for a
moment. He didn't understand why she wanted to be hurt all of the
time. He never could deny her, but he always hated himself afterward.
There had been many nights that he had waited until she had fallen
asleep before sneaking into the bathroom and vomiting. He never found
any kind of pleasure from it, and he never came. He never felt like
more of a monster than after a session of rough sex with her. He
hated when she used him to punish herself.

"Alright, luv," he said reluctantly, finally giving in. "If that is
what you want."

Willow was silent for most of the drive home, lost in her own
thoughts. She couldn't believe how they had all let themselves be
manipulated by Cordelia. Out of all of the monsters they had faced,
out of all of the evil, Cordelia was definitely at the top of the
list. The look on Angel's face when she had told him about all of it
was burned into her mind. She figured that Cordelia would be one
lucky woman if Angel didn't kill her for what she had done. Willow
snapped out of her reverie when she heard her girlfriend's soft
voice. "D-do you think that Angel will be able to help Buffy?" she
asked in her shy, stuttering way.

Willow sighed heavily. "I don't know, baby. I really hope so. Buffy
has been through so much. It's kind of funny. She was in pain for so
long and none of us did a thing to help her. Her mom was always too
busy for her because she was too involved with her boyfriend, Ted.
And we, well we were all too involved with our own lives. It was so
easy for Cordelia to swoop in and tear her down. I just thank God
that she chose to run away rather than doing something worse."

"Y-you mean like suicide?" Tara asked her quietly.

"That's exactly what I mean," Willow confirmed. It still amazed her
after all of this time how Tara seemed to be able to read her
mind. "I just don't understand how she wound up with Spike, of all of
the people in this world."

"Well, from what you have told me about Spike, he didn't really have
anybody either. Maybe he was able to give her what she needed at the
time," Tara mused.

"You mean like love and attention," Willow said. She never thought
that her friend would have to turn to Spike to feel loved. It made
her feel incredibly guilty that she hadn't been there for her when
she needed her most. "I haven't been a very good friend to her," she
said sadly. "But I'm going to do my best to change that. I'm going to
make it up to her, somehow." She just hoped that Angel would be able
to reach Buffy. Deep down, she feared that Buffy might be too far
gone. She had been impressed with how well Buffy had handled
everything when Angel left to go to LA. Even though it had been hard,
she had made it through, but Willow knew that there was only so much
a person could go through without breaking down.

Part 3

Spike let Buffy sleep late while he tried as best as he could to make
the old factory a presentable place for them to stay. He hated that
they had to stay here. She deserved so much better than this. She
deserved the nicest suite in the most luxurious hotel, but she
demanded to stay here. He knew it was just one more way for her to
punish herself, to prove that she wasn't the old Buffy who let
everyone walk all over her. He shuffled around as quietly as
possible, mulling over the events of the previous night. He hadn't
seen her so upset in a long time. In fact, he hadn't seen her display
any emotions strongly at all in a long time. He hated her so-called
friends for what they had done to her. They had made her feel
worthless and weak, and worst of all, unloved. Well, they didn't know
the real her, not like he did. She was strong and beautiful, and he
loved her more than anything in the world. He sighed, running his
hand through his hair. Even though he really wanted to kill each and
every one of them, he was determined to work everything out. It was
obvious that they meant a great deal to Buffy, no matter how much she
tried to hide it. He would find some way to get them to except him.
He was just thankful that he didn't have to worry about Angel
interfering with their lives. He was with Cordelia now, so that meant
that Spike wouldn't have to worry about him riding in on his white
horse to save the Slayer from the Big Bad. Buffy was his, and so help
him, if Angel tried to come between them, he would kill him. The
subject was never discussed openly, but everyone knew that it was a
big taboo to kill one's sire. Well, Spike didn't give a damn! He was
going to have Buffy, come hell or high water.

Spike reminded himself that he didn't have to worry about Angel,
trying to cool down his temper before he punched a hole in the way.
The poof was no longer a threat. He looked over at Buffy, who was
sleeping peacefully, reminding himself that she was his girl and that
was all that mattered. His stomach rumbled then, reminding him that
neither of them had eaten since the previous day. There wasn't much
he could do in the way of going out to get something, seeing as how
it as daylight and all, so he decided to use his cell phone to have a
pizza delivered.

He waited impatiently for the delivery boy to get there. As soon as
the boy got to the door, Spike pulled it open quickly and urged in to
come in. He slammed the door shut behind them, trying to avoid the
sunlight. "That'll be eleven dollars and sixty-five cents," the
delivery boy said in a dull voice. Spike grinned at him wickedly.

"Sorry, but I don't think so, mate," Spike said, grabbing the boy by
the shoulders. His features shifted into vampiric ones. The delivery
boy stared at him in horror. "Don't scream or I'll just make it more
painful," Spike warned him. He bit into the boy's neck savagely, the
strong metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. He drunk hungrily,
slurping down the life giving liquid. When he had drained the boy, he
threw him out back into a dumpster and hurried back inside before he
burst into flames. He wiped the blood off of his mouth before going
over to wake Buffy. He shook her gently and called her name. She
opened her eyes groggily and looked at him. "Slayer, I thought you
might be hungry so I ordered you a pizza. Come on now, luv, get up.
You need to eat," he told her. She sat up, throwing the covers back
and standing up from the makeshift bed. Spike tossed he one of his t-
shirts to wear since she was naked. She caught it and slipped it over
her head. She sat down on one of the crates that Spike had pulled up
and opened the pizza box that was sitting on the crate in front of
her. He had done his best to fashion a kind of crate table and
chairs. She dug into the pizza hungrily, not saying a word to Spike.
She hadn't spoken since she had woken up. He worried that last night
was still bothering her. "You okay, luv?" he asked, his forehead
etched with concern.

She looked up at him quickly. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" she
asked sharply.

Spike flinched a little at her tone. "It's just that I thought that
you might still be a bit upset about what happened last night. I know
that it was hard on you having to confront all of your old chums like
that. I was just tryin' to make sure you were okay, that's all," he
said, pouting.

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped at him. "I'm fine. I wasn't upset
about them. I don't give a damn about what they think. I was just
tired, that's all." Spike sighed heavily. She was putting up walls
again, only this time they were meant to shut *him* out. It wasn't
him that she was pissed out, really. It was herself. She tried so
hard to hide her emotions, to put on a tough act. Last night, she had
let herself slide back into being the weak, naive Buffy. She wasn't
that person anymore. That Buffy was dead. It had just been a weak
moment. It *wouldn't* happen again.

Angel had been up all night thinking about seeing Buffy again. He
remembered Willow's words earlier. She had never stopped loving him,
even after he left town. He had never stopped loving her either. If
only he hadn't been so stupid, he would still be in Sunnydale, and
they would still be together. Instead he had left her with no one to
turn to. He had come to LA and started a new life. He had made
friends and established a business. It was supposed to be a fresh
start. Now all it seemed like was one big mistake. He had made the
wrong decisions and apparently trusted the wrong people. He saw red
every time he thought about what a bitch Cordelia had turned out to
be. This was all her fault. Four years of Buffy's life had been
wasted because Cordelia had been so deceitful and manipulative, not
to mention heartless. He wanted to rip Cordelia's heart out of her
chest and show it to her.

He was waiting on her at her desk when she came in for work the next
morning. He had already called Wes, Gunn, and Fred and told them that
it wouldn't be necessary for them to come into work today. He
informed them that he would be out of town for a few days and he
needed today to himself to pack for his trip. Starting tomorrow, they
would be in charge of Angel Investigations until his return. He
hadn't bothered to call Cordelia, however. He wanted to see the look
on her face when he told her that he knew what she had done. And he
wanted some privacy. He didn't *plan* on killing her, but one never
knew. He had stationed himself in the room they used as an office,
where they kept all of the files and her desk, waiting for her. She
was supposed to come in at eight.

At nine thirty, Cordelia came sauntering in. She stopped short when
she saw Angel. "Oh, uh, Angel. I got a late start this morning," she
said quickly, trying to think of a believable excuse as to why she
was so late. "I, uh, my alarm clock didn't go off this morning." She
looked around, noticing for the first time that they were the only
two people in the office. "So where is everyone anyway? Did you give
us all a day off and no one told me?" she demanded angrily.

Angel glared at her. "Sit down, Cordelia," he said coldly. "We need
to talk."

"Geez, what's wrong with you?" she huffed, plopping down in her
chair. "Did you get a visit from the cranky fairy or what?" She took
out a nail file and began working on her nails. "So...I'm listening."

"Damn it, Cordelia! Put down the fucking nail file and listen to me!"
he roared. She stared at him, her mouth hanging open in surprise. She
dropped the nail file immediately, and it landed on the desk with a
clatter. She glared at him in anger, shooting him a "how dare you
talk to me that way" look. He glared right back at her. "I think that
you should know that Buffy is back," he said, watching to see her
reaction. Cordelia felt her stomach flip flop. She paled
considerably, and he could hear her heartbeat increase in speed. "You
look a little nervous, Cordy. Now why is that?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," she said snottily. "Why
would Buffy coming back to town affect me at all? I don't have
anything to do with her." She was fidgeting under the heat of his
stare.

"Really? Because from what I hear, you paid her a visit not too long
before she disappeared. You know, now that I think about it, you went
and saw her the very day that she disappeared. Isn't that a weird
coincidence?" he said.

Cordelia stuck her chin out defiantly. "I don't know where you get
your information, Angel, but you don't have a very good source. I
didn't go see Buffy. I haven't seen her since the last time that she
was here. Why the hell would I go see her? I can't stand her," she
snapped.

Moving with incredible speed, Angel was around her desk and had her
slammed up against the wall so quickly that she didn't know what had
happened. His hand encircled her throat, and her eyes bulged as he
applied pressure. "Don't make it worse by lying to me more, Cordelia.
I know what you did. I know what you told Buffy about us. You are the
reason that she left. Why don't you just admit it?" he yelled at her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, a nasty sneer creeping across her
face. "You want me to admit it? Fine! I did it, and I would do it
again in a heartbeat. You think I care what happens to that little
twit? I don't think so. What happens to Buffy Summers in no way
affects me. Don't you see? With her out of the way, we could be
together. I could make you forget all about her, Angel, I swear.
She's nothing, don't you see?"

"You are very wrong about that, Cordelia. *You* are the one who is
nothing. Buffy is everything. I love her more than anything in the
world. I could *never* love someone like you. I can just imagine the
things you said to her. Well, nothing comes without a price, Cordy.
You cost Buffy four years of her life. Now it's your turn to pay up."
He tightened his grip on her throat. Her eyes widened in panic as she
realized that her life might be in danger. Just a little more
pressure and he could crush her windpipe. She could barely breathe.
She tried to beg him to let her go, but no sound would come out of
her mouth. His eyes glowed golden as he glared at her. His demon was
raging inside him, screaming for him to kill her. He stopped himself
before it went that far, however. He pulled back and threw her into
the opposite wall. She hit hard and slid down the wall, staring at
him tearfully. "Cordelia, stay away from me and from Buffy. I don't
ever want to see you again. You are fired. Now get the fuck out," he
said in a deadly quiet voice. She stared at him in shock, picking
herself up with as much dignity as she could muster. She grabbed her
purse and stomped out of the office. He listened until he heard the
front door slam. He boxed up all of her belongings and threw them
into the trash. When he was finished with that task, he ran upstairs
to pack some things. He couldn't wait to see Buffy and tell her it
had all been one big mistake.

*Thump, thump, thump*. Spike jumped at the sound of someone pounding
on the door of the factory. He glanced over at Buffy, who was
absorbed in painting her nails with his black nail polish. "I'll get
it," he muttered under his breath. He swung open the front door and
was surprised by the sight that greeted him. There stood Giles,
Xander, Willow, Tara, and a very uncomfortable looking Anya staring
back at him with fake smiles plastered across their faces. "Um,
hello?" Spike said, a bit bewildered.

"Spike, hi!" Willow chirped out in a sugary sweet voice. "Can we come
in?" she asked, pushing past him without waiting for an answer.

"Um, I guess the answer would be yes," Spike said sarcastically as
the group came flooding past him. "Bloody hell, we've been invaded,"
he muttered under his breath as he closed the door again. It was just
getting dark and he had getting ready to go hunting. Now he was gonna
be stuck here, entertaining this bunch of idiots. He looked past the
group to see how Buffy was reacting to their visitors. She seemed
completely unfazed. In fact, she acted as if she didn't even notice
that they were there. She was concentrating on painting her nails.
Spike couldn't resist a smirk. That's my girl, he thought proudly.
Good for you, luv. Don't let 'em get to you.

"So, we were thinking that maybe we were a little less than welcoming
last night," Willow said brightly. "We are really sorry, and we want
to make it up to you." She gave him her most winning smile. "Xander
and Giles want to take you out for a night on the town while Tara,
Anya, and I have a girls' night out at my house. We haven't seen
Buffy in such a long time, and I'm dying to catch up with her.
Besides, this is our way of showing you and Buffy both that we accept
you and your relationship with her. We were a little surprised, I'll
admit, and it *has* taken some getting used to. However, we don't
want to lose Buffy again, and if that means accepting you as part of
the deal, we want you both to know that we are willing."

"Uh-huh," Spike said, cocking an eyebrow at the redhead suspiciously.
Even though she wasn't showing it, Spike knew that Buffy was taking
in every word. "And what do you think about all of this, luv?" he
asked her. He did not trust this group one little bit, but he had
promised himself that he would try to get along with them for Buffy's
sake. This was his opportunity. Of course, if Buffy didn't want him
to he would never go against her wishes. He looked over at her
hopefully, wishing that she would tell them all to fuck off.

"Whatever," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Sounds okay with me."
Spike's face fell a little. He couldn't help it. Hanging out with
Xander and Giles was about the last thing he wanted to do. He had
planned on doing a little hunting and then spending the rest of the
night between Buffy's thighs. He felt like beating his head against
the wall in frustration. Instead, he put on what he hoped was a
somewhat happy face.

"Right then. Well, mates, let's get going," he said as
enthusiastically as possible. He walked over to Buffy, kissing her
deeply before he left. "If you need anything, pet, you know my cell
phone number. I'll be there before you know it." He grabbed his
jacket and let Xander and Giles guide him out the door and into
Giles' sporty little car.

Willow turned to Buffy excitedly, her eyes twinkling with happiness.
This was going so perfectly. She couldn't believe that Spike had gone
along with the plan so willingly. This was the perfect plan for the
deal that she and Angel had made. Tonight, when he showed up at her
house, Buffy would be there unsuspecting and Spike-less. "Okay, Buff,
you ready to go?" she asked. "We are gonna have the best time. I have
popcorn, lots of chocolate, and we even rented a whole bunch of chick
flicks. This is going to be so great!" Willow babbled. Buffy rolled
her eyes to herself. Yeah, it's going to be just *great*, she thought
to herself. She considered jabbing herself in the eye with a sharp
object for a moment before deciding that going along with Willow
*might* be less painful. And if it wasn't, well she was sure there
were plenty of sharp objects at Willow's house. Maybe she would just
stab Anya in the eye. She never liked her much anyway much anyway.
She let them lead her out to their car and sweep her off to Willow's,
wondering how she had ever been friends with these people in the
first place.

Part 4

Spike sat on a bar stool, staring into his beer. This was the most
miserable, boring night of his life. In fact, now that he thought
about it, beer just wasn't going to cut it. If he was going to make
it through this night, he was going to need something a lot stronger.
He signaled to the bartender. "Whiskey," he said. The bartender
poured him a shot and slid it over to him. He downed it in one gulp,
letting the liquor burn its way down his throat. "Keep 'em coming."

On one side of him sat Xander, and on the other sat Giles. They had
all hardly said more than two words to each other all night. What a
night out on the town this was. Harris was getting sloppy drunk while
Giles seemed to prefer to ignore the fact that either one of the
other two men even existed. He was too caught up in getting hammered
himself. Spike honestly couldn't recall a more depressing night.
After a couple more shots, he glanced over to see Xander making a
fool out of himself by trying to pick up a waitress. "Hey, mate, I
thought you were making time with that Anya bint," Spike said
conversationally after the waitress had walked off.

"Naw, Anya and I are over," Xander said drunkenly. "She wasn't the
right person for me. She's not like Buffy. Now that ish a real woman.
Always did wish I could get a piece of that."

"You'd be wise to watch what you say around me about Buffy," Spike
growled. "She's my girl, and she'll always be my girl. Keep that in
mind the next time you open your big fat mouth. Show some respect, or
I'll rip your arms off and beat you with them."

"Aww, don't get all pissed. It's not even like she would give me the
time of day," Xander said. "She's always been out of my reach. The
closest I can ever hope to come to her ish where I am right
now...her friend. She ish a great girl though. "

"Yes, she is," Spike said proudly.

"You know, I kinda feel shorry for you," Xander slurred.

Spike cocked an eyebrow at him in surprise. "Oh? And why is that? I
happen to think of myself as one very lucky man."

"You are," Xander said in a thick voice. "But I still feel shorry for
you. I never had a shot with Buffy, and I always knew that. You on
the other hand, have to deal with the fact that you had her, and then
you lost her. I'm tellin' ya, man, that's gotta be hard."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Harris?" Spike demanded.

"I'm talkin' bout Angel. You shee, he wasn't really with Cordelia all
of this time. She made it up! He's probably with Buffy right now. Why
didya think we took you out tonight? Didya really think we wanted to
bond with ya or somethin'?" Xander laughed stupidly. "Oh man, you
did!" Xander rested his head on his arms, snickering. When he looked
up, there was a fist flying at his face. Spike's punch connected with
Xander's jaw, sending him flying across the room and knocking him
unconscious. Spike looked over at Giles, wondering why the older man
didn't stop his attack on Xander. The librarian was passed out cold
at the bar.

"Right then," Spike said. He was fuming as he yanked on his jacket
and shoved the door open. He pulled the keys that he had stolen from
Giles out of his pocket, unlocking the cherry red convertible. He
hopped in and sped toward Willow's house as fast as he could. He
would *not* lose Buffy. Not now...not ever.

Buffy sat in Willow's living room, resisting the urge to bang her
head against the wall. Hanging out with this group of girls was
absolutely mind numbing. She found that she had nothing in common
with them anymore. Here they were, sitting around in their pajamas
and goofy fluffy slippers, stuffing themselves with chips and soda
and giggling. It was like having a slumber party with a bunch of
twelve year olds. She didn't know how much more she was gonna be able
to take. Picking up her still full can of soda, she stood up and
began stepping over sleeping bags. "I'm just gonna go get another
soda," she said, heading for the sanctity of the kitchen.

"Oh, I can get another one for you if you want," Willow offered,
glancing up from painting her nails.

"Uh, no, that's okay. Really. I'll just be a minute," Buffy said
anxiously. She quickly made her exit, breathing a sigh of relief when
she was finally alone. She certainly hoped that Spike was having a
better night than she was. She walked over to the sink and poured her
now warm soda down the drain. She couldn't drink this shit anymore.
If something didn't have alcohol in it, it didn't taste right. She
nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a quiet rapping at the
door. She listened carefully for a moment, not sure that she didn't
just imagine it. Then she heard it again. A smile lit her face as she
made her way to the door. Spike must have found some way to escape
Xander and Giles and had came to save her from this hell. Her
happiness faded as soon as she swung open the door and saw who was on
the other side. Her eyes narrowed and a scowl crept across her
features. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked in an icy
voice.

Shit! This was not the way Angel had planned this to go at all.
Things were already off to a bumpy start. The hatred radiating off of
Buffy was almost tangible. For a moment, all he could do was stand
there with his mouth hanging open, his mind completely void of
anything to say. "Uh, Buffy, hi," he finally managed to get
out. "It's good to see you again. I've been worried ever since you
disappeared."

"Yeah, I bet you have," she said with a sneer. "Seriously, I doubt
that you could find time to even give me a second thought, what with
your new relationship with Cordelia and all. In fact, I was under the
impression that you never wanted to see or hear from me again. Please
believe me when I say the feeling is mutual."

"Buffy, that was all a big misunderstanding-"

"Oh really? Because I think Cordelia did a pretty good job of
clearing things up for me," Buffy said angrily. She honestly didn't
think that she had ever hated anyone as much as she hated Angel at
that moment. "I think I understand things perfectly well." She
started to slam the door in his face, but he stuck his foot in
between the door and the frame so that she couldn't. "Godamn it,
Angel, get your foot out of the door!" she yelled at him in fury.

Willow heard yelling and scampered into the kitchen to see what was
going on. When she saw the scene in the kitchen, she skidded to a
halt. "Ohhhh, h-holy shit," Willow stuttered in horror. Angel was
early, and Buffy had been the one to open the door. He was supposed
to have shown up at nine thirty, but it was only nine o'clock. She
was going to send Buffy upstairs for something and then let him in.
It was supposed to be kind of a surprise. Well, this was definitely a
surprise! "Uh, Angel, what are you doing here?" she asked, trying to
feign surprise.

"Oh, whatever, Willow. It is so obvious right now that you and Angel
planned this whole thing," Buffy said angrily. "It was all a big
scheme, wasn't it? Getting me away from Spike, setting me up so that
I would be here when Angel got here? God, I thought that you were
really making an effort to accept Spike, but it was all just a lie.
How could you do that?" Buffy looked like she was going to explode.

"It wasn't Willow's idea. I asked her to do it because I need to talk
to you," Angel said, jumping to Willow's defense. "Will, can you give
us a second alone?" he asked, pushing the door open and walking past
Buffy into the kitchen. Willow nodded and quickly exited the kitchen.
Buffy grabbed her coat that was hanging on the back of a chair and
headed for the door, but Angel grabbed her arm and whirled her
around. "Buffy, you aren't going anywhere until you've heard me out."

She tried to wrench her arm away from him but he was too strong for
her. "I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say," she
hissed.

"Well that is too damn bad, because you are going to listen," he said
firmly, sitting her down in a chair. "Don't even try to run out on
me, or I'll tie you to that fucking chair," he warned her in a no
nonsense tone. She shot daggers at him with her eyes, but remained
silent and didn't try to leave again. He pulled up a chair of his own
and sat down in front of her. "Buffy, listen to me. What Cordelia
told you was a lie. It was all lies. She and I are not, nor have we
ever been, anything more than friends. As a matter of fact, after I
found out what she did, I fired her and told her that I didn't want
to see her anymore, period. I know that you don't want to believe me,
Buffy, but I'm telling you the truth. I also know that I haven't been
there for you like I should have. As long as we are being honest
here, I have to tell you that there hasn't been a day that has gone
by that I haven't regretted leaving Sunnydale with all of my heart.
You are the most important person in my life. I should have tried to
make it work, but I took the coward's way out instead. Please, Buffy,
you have to believe me when I say that I love you and I've missed you
more than you could ever know. Every since I found out that you were
missing, I've worked none stop and called in every favor that I had
to find you. I need you in my life. Please don't shut me out."

She looked at him skeptically. "I don't know why you think that I
should believe you."

"Because I'm telling you the truth. I've never lied to you, Buffy,"
he told her sincerely. "I think you know that. Why would I start now?
If I was with Cordy, why would I be here, trying to get you back?"

"I don't know," Buffy said, looking very confused. "I guess you
wouldn't." She didn't know what to think or what to believe
anymore. "Angel, I-"

The door burst open then and Spike stood there in the doorway. He
glared at Angel in fury, his eyes glowing a golden yellow. "Invite me
in, Buffy," he demanded, never taking his eyes off of his son of a
bitch sire.

"Spike!" Buffy breathed. She had never been so glad to see someone in
her whole life. "Come in," she said quickly. As soon as he walked
through the door, she was by his side. "I told him to leave, Spike. I
told him that I didn't want him here but he wouldn't go. He's been
telling me things, and now I'm so confused."

"Don't worry, luv, I'm here now," Spike said, putting his arm around
her protectively. Angel stood up from his chair and started towards
them. "I don't think so, mate. She doesn't want to see you. You made
your choice. Now she has made hers." Angel and Spike were nose to
nose now, staring each other down.

"She's not yours, Spike. Her heart will always belong to me," Angel
growled.

"See, that's where you are mistaken. You left her, Angel. You chose
that bitch, Cordelia, over her. Well, I was there to pick up the
pieces. I was all she had. You think you can just sweep in here with
your billowing coat and that little black cloud over your head and
take her from me? I don't bloody well think so. Why don't you go back
to LA where you belong?"

"I'm not with Cordelia!" Angel shouted in frustration.

"Aww, did the love birds have a spat?" Spike asked in a mocking
voice. "What's wrong? Did she use up all of that nancy boy hair gel
you like so much?"

"Fuck you, Spike," Angel spat at him.

"Hmmm...as tempting as that sounds, I'm gonna have to pass. You see,
I've got something much better to go home to now," Spike said,
gesturing towards Buffy.

Angel clenched his fists tightly by his side. "How dare you? Why do
you think she wanted to come back here, Spike? Did it ever occur to
you that maybe her life with you isn't as blissful as you would like
to believe? She came back to be with me!" Angel roared.

"She came here to get closure, Angel. She's not your Buffy anymore.
She's her own person now. She came here to say goodbye to the old
Buffy once and for all."

"That's not true-" Angel began

"Oh it bloody well is," Spike sneered at him.

"Enough!" Both vampires turned to look at Buffy, surprised by her
outburst. "Neither one of you know why I'm really here, so let's not
pretend that you do. Furthermore, you don't know what I'm thinking or
feeling either. You want to know why I came back? Well, I'll tell
you," she said in a deadly calm voice. "I'm dying."

"What?!" both vampires said in unison. They stared at her in shock
and disbelief.

"I said I'm dying," she said quietly. "It's cancer, and it's
incurable. I had to come here and say goodbye to everyone before it
was too late." She walked over to the sink, leaning against it and
facing them both. "So now you know. It had nothing to do with you,
Angel. It was for me."

Spike walked over and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "My god,
Slayer, why didn't you tell me?" he asked her tearfully. He felt as
if his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stomped on.

Angel just stared at her in shock. This couldn't be happening. She
couldn't be dying, not now. It wasn't fair! He felt completely numb
with shock. "No," he said quietly. "There has to be some mistake.
There has to be something they can do, some way that we can save you.
I'll take you to a doctor tomorrow, a specialist. I'll take you to
the best of the best, Buffy. We'll find a way to save you."

"No you won't," she said sadly. "You can't fight the inevitable,
Angel. I'm not like you. I'm only mortal, and that means that one of
these days, I was going to die. well, it looks like that day is
sooner than I had hoped for. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to be
alone right now," she said, extracting herself from Spike's embrace.
She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the side door, letting it
slam shut behind her. Spike and Angel stared after her, tears welling
up in their eyes. The look in her eyes had been so empty and cold. It
was like she had died inside already.

Spike opened the door and walked out into the night, heading for the
nearest bar. He wanted to be with her right now, to help her cope
with this, but he also wanted to respect her wishes to be alone. He
would just have to settle for drowning his sorrows in alcohol and
nicotine. Angel, however, had other plans. He followed her scent
until he found her sitting on a headstone, staring into space. She
looked up at him with startled eyes when she noticed that he was
there. "I thought I told you that I wanted to be alone."

"I can't let you be alone right now, Buffy," Angel told her gently,
reaching out to brush her hair back from her face. She flinched a
little at his touch, but she allowed it. "I think that you need to
talk about it."

"What do you expect me to say?" she asked, looking down at her
lap. "I'm dying. Do I want to? Of course not, but it's not like I
have a choice. Not unless..."

"Unless what?" he prodded gently. "What is it, Buffy? You just name
it, and I'll do it. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"You won't do this," she said in a tired voice. "And neither will
Spike. I haven't asked him, but I know what he would say."

Angel's eyes widened as he caught her meaning. "Buffy, I said I would
do anything, but I can't turn you. You don't really want that. I
mean, you hate vampires. They are evil and soulless, and you are so
much better than that. You are right. I can't do it, and I know Spike
well enough to know that he couldn't do it either."

"So you'll just let me die then?" she said, suddenly angry. "Well, I
can. see how much you really love me now." She laughed bitterly. "You
know, it's so funny that you came here tonight to tell me that you
and Cordelia were never together, how much you love me, yet you are
just going to stand back and watch me die."

"Buffy, I can't do it!" Angel shouted miserably. "I'm sorry. I wish I
could." Tears streamed down his face. "I love you so much, and I
don't want to lose you, but I would never be able to bring myself to
turn you. I love you with all of my heart and soul...and that's why I
can't."

"Fine. Whatever." She hopped off of the headstone and started to walk
away.

Fuck. "Buffy, wait!" Angel yelled after her. She stopped and turned
around, looking at him expectantly. "I said that I couldn't do it. I
couldn't stand to see you turned." He paused, taking a deep
breath. "I couldn't...but Angelus could."

Part 5

"Buffy, wait!" Angel yelled after her. She stopped and turned around,
looking at him expectantly. "I said that I couldn't do it. I couldn't
stand to see you turned." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I
couldn't...but Angelus could." He stood there, a little shocked by
the words that had just escaped from his mouth.

Buffy looked at him with wide eyes, pretty shocked herself. She had
never in a million years expected to hear those words. "What are you
saying, Angel?"

He walked over to stand in front of her, taking both of her hands in
his. "I'm saying that I can't let you die. I'm saying the same thing
that I have been trying to drill into your head all night. I would do
anything, give anything for you, Buffy. That includes my soul," he
said in a quiet voice. "What I can't do for you, my demon can."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked him
uncertainly. "Because if you aren't really ready to go through with
it, then don't make promises you can't keep. I've already come to
terms with the fact that I'm dying, Angel. Please don't give me false
hope and then tear it away from me. I-I don't think I could bear it."
She looked at him tearfully, afraid that he would take his offer back.

"I'm sure," he told her confidently. "I would do anything to save
you. Life without you isn't worth living. I've never been more sure
of anything."

"But you realize that this means that we have to-" Buffy began.

"Yeah, I know. Think that you can handle me making love to you one
last time?" he asked her in a soft voice. He was a little hurt by her
words. She made it sound like an imposition or a chore. He considered
making love to her the greatest thing in the world. He couldn't
really blame her for her attitude, though, considering the first and
only time they had made love, he had turned evil and maimed and
tortured all of her friends.

She gave him a tiny smile. "I think I can handle it...you know, just
this once," she said with a twinkle in her eyes. "Thank you, Angel. I
know what you are giving up for me," she said more seriously. She
couldn't help but be touched by this huge gesture of love from him,
but a tiny part of her wondered if she could actually let him do
it. "Are you sure you want to go through with it?"

"Buffy, love, let me let you in on a little secret. Ever since I got
my soul back, I have been trying to make things right. I have been
fighting the good fight, the fight against evil. I have been a
warrior, a champion for goodness. If you die, then everything that I
have been fighting for means nothing. If you die, the only good thing
that I have ever had is gone. I will not let you die," he said
gently. He tugged on her hand gently, pulling her over to stand
beside him. He wrapped an arm around her and began to steer her out
of the cemetery. "I love you, Buffy."

She looked at him with huge green eyes. "I love you, too." How long
had it been since she had said those words? Four years? No, it had to
have been longer than that. Buffy hadn't felt real love since he had
left so many years ago. If she had ever doubted his love for her, she
surely couldn't doubt it now. He was so willing to give his soul up
for her, and she knew that it was really the only thing that he had
that meant anything to him. She squeezed his hand, leaning against
him as they walked. She wondered when exactly everything had all gone
so wrong.

A thousand memories washed over Buffy as soon as she stepped foot
into the mansion. It seemed like a lifetime ago when she used to come
here everyday after school to see Angel. She let Angel lead her
upstairs by the hand, looking around at what had once been like a
second home to her. These walls had seen a lot of happiness, as well
as heartache. She tried to focus on anything and everything to keep
her mind off what was about to occur. Before she knew it, she was
standing outside of the door to Angel's bedroom. She stood back as he
pushed the door open and walked in, flipping on the light switch. She
stepped into the room hesitantly, taking a deep breath. Her eyes
immediately focused on the large bed that graced the far wall of the
room. This was it...she was really going to do it.

Angel took her jacket and tossed it, along with his own, onto a
nearby chair. He kind of stood there, shifting uncomfortably from one
foot to the other. "Is there anything I can do to make this, uh, more
comfortable for you?" he asked anxiously. The truth was that there
was *nothing* that was going to make this easier, and it was in no
way even close to being comfortable.

"No, I'm fine, but thank you," she said. She walked over to the bed,
sitting down on the bed gingerly. "Comfy," she remarked, bouncing up
and down a little. "It's...nice. Definitely more comfy than the one
in your old apartment."

"Thanks," he replied. He crossed the room in a few long strides and
took a seat next to her. "Listen, Buffy, I wish that I could make
this special for you. I've always regretted that your first time had
to be so...traumatic. You deserved way better than that. I wish that
it could have been perfect, but-"

Buffy held up a hand, cutting him off in mid-sentence. "Angel, it's
okay, really. It *was* perfect because I was with you. True, you did
go evil psychotic on me afterward, but I have never regretted that
night with you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, just by
holding me in your arms. I couldn't have ask for a more perfect first
time."

"Oh, Buffy," he groaned, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her
to him. "I'm so sorry that things have to be this way. You know that
if there was any other way..."

"I know," she said, stroking his face gently. "But there isn't. This
is the only way. Don't worry, I know that when my friends realize
what happened, they'll do the curse on both of us. We'll both have
our souls back, and we can be together forever. It's for the best,"
she said firmly. Angel was fairly sure that she was trying to
reassure herself as much as she trying to reassure him. "I guess we
should get started," she said nervously.

Angel cupped her face in his hands, kissing her lips gently. She
tasted like heaven and smelled like sunshine. Her lips parted for
him, allowing his tongue entrance into her sweet mouth.
Instinctively, they scooted closer together as their kiss deepened.
One of his hands cradled her head as he tangled his fingers in her
soft, silky hair. She moaned softly against his lips, causing his
cock to jerk in his pants. He wanted her so much that it was almost
painful. He had denied himself the taste of her for so long, too
long. He gently laid her back onto the bed, shifting so that half of
his body was on top of her. His hand sought and found one of her
full, round breasts and he gave it a light squeeze. She arched into
him in response, encouraging him to continue fondling her. He dipped
his head down, nipping gently at a nipple through her shirt. As he
pulled back to help her strip off her clothes, he noticed for the
first time how she was dressed. In her skin tight leather pants and
painted on tank top, she was dressed very differently from the old
Buffy. He was amazed that he hadn't picked up on the change, but all
he had seen when he had looked at her was the woman he loved. It
didn't matter if she was wearing a chicken suit, she was still his
girl. He stripped her shirt off and stood back to let her wrestle
with her pants. She wiggled around for a good five minutes before she
was able to successfully peel the article of clothing from her body.

"I hear you have a tattoo now," Angel said in a lustful voice. "Can I
see it?" She nodded, turning around to face the opposite wall, rising
up onto her hands and knees. He moved over to her nude body, lightly
tracing the tattoo with his fingers. "It's beautiful," he said softly.

She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "Thanks," she
said. "It was one of the first things I did to transform myself into
the new and improved Buffy. Then came the hair and the wardrobe," she
explained. She held up a lock of her now raven colored hair and
looked at him. "So what do you think of it anyway?"

He studied her for a moment before nodding his head in approval. "I
like it," he decided. "It's very...dramatic." He wiggled his eyebrows
at her comically, and she couldn't help but giggle. He smiled at her,
feeling the tension between them ease a little. She winked at him,
shaking her ass provocatively. He let out a low growl and pounced on
her, flipping her over onto her back and grinding his pelvis against
hers. He sprinkled feather light kisses across her face, down her
neck, and onto her chest. He paid extra attention to her two hard
little rosy tipped nipples, laving them with his tongue. He continued
his ministrations there for a while before moving down to dip his
tongue into her belly button. "Do you want me, baby?" he asked her in
a husky voice. He continued to scatter kisses across the lower part
of her belly, moving down until he reached her panties, tracing along
the waistband with his tongue.

"Oh yes," she purred. "Please, Angel, make love to me." He moved down
to kiss and lick her outer lips through the fabric of her panties. He
pulled them aside to dip down into her femininity with his tongue,
lapping at her hot, wet flesh hungrily. He flattened his tongue,
licking her from the back to the front, sending a shudder of pleasure
through her body. He focused on the tiny little bundle of nerves that
he knew would drive her over the edge, sucking and lapping at it
until her felt her orgasm. He lapped up her juices greedily, savoring
the taste of her essence. Then he crawled back up her body, and she
arched into him, rubbing her hot, wet sex against his erection. He
could feel her heat through the fabric of his pants. She clawed
mindlessly at the button and zipper that constrained him. Finally,
she managed to free his swollen, dripping cock from his pants. She
dipped her head, licking the fluid from his weeping tip. He hissed in
pleasure as she sucked him into her hot, wet mouth. She bobbed her
head up and down, swirling her tongue around the tip of his cock on
every upstroke. He felt his balls tighten and pushed her away, not
wanting to come anywhere but inside of her tight little pussy. He
pushed her back gently, moving over her until his body covered hers.
They were both now completely nude since Buffy had taken the
initiative and practically ripped Angel's shirt and boxers right off
of his body. He positioned himself at her entrance, taking a moment
to kiss her gently before thrusting into her nearly scalding heat.
She moaned softly as he began to move inside of her, worshipping
every inch of her perfect body. She tightened her legs around him,
arching up to meet his every thrust. She raked her fingernails down
his back, losing herself in his embrace. Their bodies moved together
in a desperate and needy rhythm.

Angel turned his face away from her as he felt his vampiric visage
surface, but she wouldn't have it. She reached up, grabbing his face
with both hands and forcing him to look at her. "You are beautiful,
Angel," she said, running her hands lightly over the ridges on his
face. "Don't ever feel like you have to hide your face from me. I
love all of you, even the demon." She pulled him in closer for a
kiss, expertly maneuvering around his razor sharp fangs.

"You are an incredible woman, Buffy," he said softly, nuzzling her
neck. "I love you." He hated when he vamped out around her because he
knew that his demonic features were ugly and horrific, but she
thought he was beautiful anyway. She never turned away from him in
disgust. She accepted him, all of him, for who he was.

"I love you, too," she managed to get out. She was panting now, and
her whole body felt like currents of electricity were running through
her body. "Please, Angel, I need...I need-" He reached between them,
pinching her sensitive little nub between his fingers. She screamed
in ecstasy as her orgasm swept over her, sending white-hot pleasure
throughout her body.

Angel knew that he was about to lose control. Her vaginal muscles
spasmed around his cock, and try as he might to fight it, he knew
that he was about to go over the edge. "I'm sorry, love," he choked
out. "I wanted to make it last, but I can't hold it back any longer.
Take my soul, my love. It belongs to you. Take it...it's already
yours. It always has been." He buried his face in her chest as his
orgasm ripped through him. His whole body shuddered violently as he
came, and he growled loudly as he spilled his cold, dead seed inside
of her body. Finally, his body stilled and she felt him relax against
her. For a moment, she thought that maybe it hadn't worked, that he
wasn't going to lose his soul again. Maybe she didn't bring him true
happiness anymore. Maybe he didn't love her as much as he thought.
Those thoughts were dispelled from her mind quickly, however, when
she felt his whole body stiffen on top of her. He howled in pain, and
the sound was almost unbearable to hear. A sound like that could not
be made by a human. The scream of pain that tore from his lips
sounded more like a dying animal or something.

"Oh my god, Angel!" Buffy gasped in horror. She tried desperately to
sit up, but his weight was too much. She was pinned there beneath him
and there was nothing she could do. She didn't know what was
happening and she was terrified for him. His body spasmed as if he
was in some kind of unbearable pain, and she slowly began to realize
that it was his soul being ripped out of him. She felt his body
collapse against her and knew then that his body had finally given in
and released his soul. She held him tightly, whispering soothing
words to him as tears filled her eyes. It had been a big mistake to
let him do this. She hadn't realized how much pain was involved,
hadn't fully understood how much he was losing. She had been selfish
and now he was paying the price. "I'm so sorry, Angel," she whispered
over and over as she rocked him in her arms. "I'm so sorry." She felt
him beginning to come to and loosened her grip on him. "Angel?" she
asked in a tiny voice. "Is that you?"

He raised his head slowly, glaring at her with golden yellow
eyes. "Not even close, school girl," he growled, smiling broadly
around his fangs.

Buffy drew in a sharp breath. "So it worked," she said. "You're
Angelus again."

"That's right," he said cheerfully. "And if feels *great* to be back.
You know I really have to thank you, Buff. If it hadn't been for you,
I would have never gotten rid of Soul Boy. Didn't matter how hard I
fought against him, he always had to play the hero. That is until you
dropped your panties for him." He slid off of her and stood up,
stretching languidly. He strolled over to his corner bar, still
completely and gloriously nude, and poured himself a drink. "I just
don't get him. I mean, sure, you are a nice, tight piece of pussy,
but hell, pussy is cheap. I can't believe that the cocksucker would
give it all up just for you."

Buffy stood up and wrapped a sheet around herself, glaring at him
furiously. "Fuck you! He did it because he loves me. You couldn't
possibly understand something as pure as that," she spat out angrily.

Angelus glared at her. "Don't piss me off, Buff. You know, I don't
have to turn you just because your precious little Angel promised
you. I don't give a shit. You can die for all I care."

"So are you going to turn me or not?" she asked in frustration.

"Well now that all depends."

"Oh yeah? On what?"

Angelus smiled broadly. "On what kind of mood I'm in. If you want to
live, little Slayer, I suggest you do everything you can to keep in a
really, *really* good mood." Buffy gulped. This was not what she had
bargained for at all.

Part 6

Buffy hated herself more than she ever had, and that was saying a
whole lot. Over the years, she had acquired a lot of self-hate, but
tonight was an all new low for her. She let the love of her life give
up his soul to save her life, and it was beginning to look like it
was all in vain. Even if Angelus did turn her, she knew that he was
going take his time toying with her first. She clutched a pillow to
her chest tightly, trying desperately to hide her nakedness.

"So, Buff, what's it going to be?" he asked her in an impatient
tone. "You gonna cooperate or am I going to have to kill you? 'Cause
it sure would be a shame for Angel to have made such a sacrifice for
nothing."

She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to stand the sight of him for one
more second. She felt like she was selling her soul when she spoke
her next words...and in a way, she was. "I'll cooperate. I'll do
whatever you want."

"Well, that's great, Buff. Really, I'm so glad that you decided to
work with me here. I really would hate to have to kill you. In fact,
I think that you are gonna find that we are gonna have a lot of fun
together once you are turned. Then, you'll be my little whore
forever," he said, a nasty smile spreading across his face. "Now get
your hot little ass over here and get on your knees, baby, 'cause you
got a lot of sucking to do. Oh, and drop the pillow. After all, it's
not like you have anything I haven't seen before."

Her face burned in shame as she let the pillow drop to the floor. She
took a deep breath before gathering up her courage and taking a step
towards him.

"No, no, Buff, I want you to crawl." He sat slumped in his favorite
chair, raking his eyes hungrily over her naked body. His hand was
wrapped around his cock, stroking it lazily. He laughed in
satisfaction as she dropped down onto her hands and knees and began
to crawl over to him slowly, glaring at him in hate the whole time.
When she reached him, he jerked her up by her hair into a kneeling
position. His cock was swollen and erect, and he shoved it right in
her face. "Suck me off, bitch, and no teeth or I'll break your
fucking neck."

She licked her lips nervously and tentatively touched her tongue to
the tip of his cock, licking the slit. A low growl issued from his
chest as he tightened his grip on her hair. She yelped in pain, and
he took the opportunity to shove his whole length into her open
mouth. She gagged as he hit the back of her throat, and her eyes
teared up. She swallowed harshly, fighting back vomit. She tightened
her lips around his shaft, suckling experimentally. She wrapped one
tiny hand around his cock, squeezing lightly and earning a hiss of
pleasure from him. Slowly, she began to bob her head up and down on
his cock, swirling her tongue around the tip and stroking his shaft
with her hand at an agonizing pace. Angelus was not a patient man,
and while Angel would have held back and let her go at her own pace,
he grabbed her face and began fucking her mouth. She was helpless
against him. All she could do was try to relax her throat. It only
took a moment or two before he spilled his semen into her mouth. She
wanted to spit it back out at him, but she knew what he would do to
her if she did, so she swallowed it instead. He shoved her back
forcefully, and she fell back onto the floor, banging her head hard.

"Not bad, Buff. Angel taught you well, but when I'm through with you,
you'll be a pro. So how does it feel, knowing that he can see what
you're doing, knowing that now he knows what a cheap little whore you
really are?"

"Fuck you!" She could take a lot from him. She could take
humiliation. She could take pain. What she could *not* take was
listening to him talk about Angel. She would not let him say anything
disparaging about their love. She didn't care what he did to her, she
would not let him take away the one good thing she had in her life,
and that was the memory of the love that she and Angel shared.

The next thing she knew, she was flying across the room from the
impact of a backhand. He flipped her over, shoving the side of her
face into the floor and gripping the back of her neck like a vise. He
sat on her back, the weight of him making it nearly impossible for
her to breathe. "You are *so* gonna pay for that, school girl. You
don't talk to me like that, do you understand me? I own you, you
little bitch. I am your owner, your master, your god. Now, you have
been a naughty girl, and you are gonna have to be punished."

He dragged her to her feet and over to the bed, throwing her face
down onto it. He grabbed her wrists roughly and pulled her up to the
headboard. He held her there with one hand while he dug around in the
drawer of the nightstand until he found what he was looking for. "I
knew that I left them here the last time I was here," he said,
holding up two sets of handcuffs. He busied himself with handcuffing
each one of her wrists to the bedposts, leaving her still face down.
Her muscles screamed in strain from being stretched past their limits
and the cuffs bit into her flesh, causing blood to trickle down her
arms. She couldn't move, couldn't struggle even if she had wanted to.
All she could do was sob into the pillows. "On your knees, whore," he
growled, sliding an arm under her stomach and lifting her up onto her
knees. He stood back and drunk in the sight of her.

"What are you going to do to me?" she cried, her voice muffled by the
pillows. Fear gripped her heart as she laid there, completely
helpless.

"Nothing you won't enjoy," he said in a cheerful voice, crawling onto
the bed behind her. He felt her stiffen when he began to rub the head
of his cock against the puckered opening of her ass. "What's a
matter, Buff? Afraid it's going to hurt?" He stuck a finger into his
mouth, wetting it thoroughly before shoving it into her passage. He
was a little surprised...and very pissed off...to find that she was
not a virgin to anal sex. "I see that this is nothing new for you,"
he said in an icy tone. "I know that Angel hasn't taken you there, so
that begs the question...who the fuck did? It was Spike, wasn't it?"
When she didn't answer, he grabbed her by the hair and yanked
hard. "Answer me, godamn it!"

"Yes," she choked out, sobbing loudly.

"You little whore!" he roared in rage. "How dare you let another
touch you? Especially my own grandchilde. You are mine! Don't you
understand that? Mine!" To bring home his point, he shoved his cock
into her unprepared channel. She screamed in pain as he tore her
open. "No lubrication for you, Buff. Little sluts like you get it
dry." He pounded into her relentlessly while she sobbed
uncontrollably. Angel smiled evilly. It was even more of a turn on
when she cried. Finally, he gave her one last thrust, spilling
himself into her torn, bloody passage. He pulled his softening cock
out of her, watching the mixture of her blood and his come drip down
her thighs. He parted her ass cheeks, running his cold tongue over
her sore opening. Slowly, painfully, he thrusted his tongue inside of
her, causing her to hiss in pain. He licked her until he had cleaned
her of all of the blood. She was still shaking, but not from pain
anymore. Her body was shuddering in pleasure now, and she hated it.
She hated him for doing these things to her, and she hated her body
for betraying her.

She felt him get up off of the bed. He walked around to the headboard
and took her wrists gently in his hand as he uncuffed her. She
collapsed against the bed, blacking out from the trauma and pain.
When she regained consciousness, she was surprised to find herself
cradled in his arms. He was rubbing her wrists softly while lapping
at the deep gashes the handcuffs had made. She looked up at him with
confusion in her eyes. "You've been such a good little girl, Buff,"
he whispered to her. "I think that you deserve a reward." He pulled
her hair back off of her neck, laving the sensitive spot under her
ear. "It's time, my love." She held her breath as she felt his
features shift against her neck. He scraped his fangs against her
skin lightly, causing her to shiver. Her eyes widened as she felt him
bite into her. He suckled her neck, slurping up her blood hungrily.
She began to feel very lightheaded as he continued to drain her, and
her breathing became very shallow. Angelus knew that she was almost
completely drained now, but it was a struggle to pull back. Her blood
was so powerful, so intoxicating. He felt her heartbeat weakening and
knew that it was now or never. With a frustrated growl, he pulled
back, biting his own wrist. Dark red blood oozed from his wound as he
pressed it against her mouth. "Drink, love. You have to drink now."

For a moment he feared that she would not respond. Then, much to his
relief, he felt her latch on to his risk. He gave her as much as he
could before jerking his wrist away from her mouth. It would be
enough for now, but she would have to feed again soon. She would
still be weak from the Change. He let her head fall back against the
pillows, her eyes closed. Her chest no longer rose and fell, and
there was no more heartbeat. He waited there, knowing that it would
take a few minutes for her to wake up, wanting to be there when she
did. He was surprised to see her stir after only about a minute. He
supposed that with her Slayer strength and healing, she recovered
faster. Her eyelids slowly fluttered open and golden yellow eyes
glared up at him. "My dark queen," he whispered in a husky voice.

Willow was beginning to get worried. Everyone had disappeared from
her house hours ago, and she had not heard from any of them since.
She had just grabbed her coat and was about to go out and look for
them when the she heard the front door. She ran into the living room
to see who it was and her jaw dropped at the sight that greeted her.
Xander staggered in, his face covered in dried blood. "My god!
Xander, what happened to you?" she asked, rushing to him and helping
him to the couch.

"I sorta had a little too much to drink, and I think I did something
bad, Will. Real bad. I let it slip to Spike that Angel was gonna come
see Buffy," he mumbled with a guilty look on his face.

"Yeah, I know. He showed up here about the time that Buffy and Angel
were having it out. They all left here hours ago. I was just going to
look for them. Where is Giles?" she asked in concern.

"I called a cab for him. He should be at home by now. Just let me get
some aspirin, and I'll go with you."

"By the way, Xand, what happened to your face?" Willow asked him
curiously.

"It met up with Spike's fist," he said drying, getting up to get some
aspirin and water. About five minutes later, the two of them were out
on the streets, searching the night for some sign of their friend. It
was down one particular dark alley that they found a very drunk
Spike.

"What are you doing here?" he growled at them. "Can't you just leave
me alone? I just wanna be by myself right now, if you don't mind."

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Willow asked him.

"Waitin' for the sun to rise," he replied in a bitter voice. "Just
found out tonight that my girl's dyin' and there's nothing I can do."

Willow and Xander stared back at him in shock. "Did you just say that
Buffy is dying?" Willow squeaked out.

"That's right. She told us tonight that she has cancer. Incurable.
Nothing I can do to save her. She wouldn't even let me be with her.
Said she wanted to be alone."

"We've got to find her," Willow said urgently. She grabbed Spike by
the collar of his jacket. "Get up, Spike. You are gonna help us." He
managed to stagger to his feet with her assistance and began to walk
along with them. They had made it perhaps only a block or two when
they heard a blood curdling scream coming from behind a building.
They ran around to the side of the building to find a blonde female
vampire draining some poor teenaged guy. "Oh god, we've got to help
him," Willow said softly. "Hey! Get off of him!" she shouted.

The female vampire turned around, growling at them in warning.

"Holy god, that's Buffy," Xander croaked out. The three of them stood
there, stunned into silence. Buffy turned her attention back to her
victim, finishing him off with a loud slurping. While she was
feeding, a tall, dark figure stepped out from the shadows. Three
pairs of eyes narrowed at the familiar face.

"So I see that you know now," Angelus said with a wicked grin. "She's
beautiful, isn't she? So beautiful and delicate. I've never seen
someone with such a lust for the kill. She ripped his throat out in
five seconds flat."

"You selfish son of a bitch!" Spike roared. "How could you do it? How
could you take someone so good and pure and turn her into a monster?"

"Bite your tongue, boy, and know your place," Angelus sneered. "I did
what you never could have done for her. I saved her life. She was
dying, but now she will walk the earth forever. She came to me
because she knew you didn't have the rocks to do it."

"Know one thing, you prick," Spike spat at him. "No matter what
happens, no matter what the cost, I will fucking kill you. I don't
have anything to lose anymore, and I will do whatever it takes to
bring you down. And when I do, I'm gonna piss on your ashes." He
turned to Willow and Xander, who stood there dumbly. "Get the hell
out of here. Now!" He rolled his eyes when he saw that they weren't
going to move a muscle on their own. He grabbed them each by the
wrist, dragging them away from the alley. He knew that if he didn't
get them to safety, they would be dead. And it would be their best
friend that killed them.

Part 7

By the time Willow, Xander, and Spike had made it to the Magic Box,
they were completely out of breath...well, at least Willow and Xander
was. Spike was absolutely livid. He was torn between powerful
feelings of pain, loss, and anger. It was quite obvious to him that
Angelus was back, and it was even more painfully obvious what brought
him back. That in itself was enough to make Spike want to go hide in
a dark corner somewhere and cry like a baby. Add to it the fact that
the love of his life was now a vampire, and he was seriously
contemplating staking himself. He had seen his prick of a grandsire
do a lot of really shitty things in his time, but this was unbe-
fucking-lievable. Even when he had lost his soul the first time, it
was quite obvious to Spike that he had love deep down in his heart
for the little blonde Slayer, as well as a raging hard-on. He'd had
ample opportunities to turn her, but he never did. Spike knew that
there was only one way that Angelus would have turned Buffy, and that
was if she asked him to. He cursed loudly at his stupidity. He should
have followed her, found some way to try to console her. Instead, he
had "respected her wishes" and left her alone. Now look at the
bleedin' mess they were all in.

"I just don't understand it," Willow said in shock. "When did Angel
go all soulless again? And how did he manage to turn Buffy?"

"Isn't it obvious, Red? Buffy asked him to do it. She was *dying* for
hell's sake," Spike snapped at her. "Angel must have followed her
after she left your house and she must have asked him to turn her.
Soul Boy could never turn her, though, and they both knew. Just
didn't have it in him. He knew the only way that he could do it would
be to become Angelus again." He turned his back to the other two,
trying to hide the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"So they made with the smoochies, she gave him a big happy, and now
he's all grr," Willow said, finally beginning to understand.

"What I don't understand is why she didn't just come to you," Xander
said scornfully. "It's not like you wouldn't jump at the chance to do
it. Not like you have a soul or a conscious or anything."

Spike spun around, glowering at him angrily. "Is that what you think,
boy? Well, let me tell you something. I would have never hurt that
girl. Do you think I want her to be like me? Do you think I *like*
what I am? Well, I don't. I hate knowing that I'm nothing more than a
monster. Oh sure, at first it was fun. All of the evilness and
torture and killing. Yeah, they were good times, and I enjoyed
it. 'Til I met her. She made me want to be a better person. When I
met her, I finally knew what goodness, pure goodness, was about. I
mean, I'm not perfect. Every once in awhile, I get hungry and slip
off of the wagon, but I would never, ever hurt her. How dare you even
suggest it. I *love* her," Spike growled, his eyes glowing golden
with fury.

"You're not capable of love!" Xander shouted at him.

"Oh, I bloody well am!" Spike retorted, taking a step towards
Xander. "And if ya keep lippin' me, I'll show you what else I'm
capable of." He snapped his fangs in Xander's direction.

"I'd like to see you try-"

"Oh would you two shut up?!" Willow shouted above them. She stepped
in between them before an all out brawl ensued. They immediately shut
up and looked at him in surprise. Willow very rarely raised her
voice. "Just back off, okay? Spike, I'm very sorry. I know how much
you care about her. We all do, but we have got to stop bickering
among ourselves and figure out what we are going to do to help her,"
she said, looking pointedly at Xander.

"He started it," Xander mumbled sullenly.

"Xander, shut the fuck up!" she shouted in frustration. "Stop being a
big baby. You are not helping anybody here by being a jerk. It
doesn't really matter *how* or *why* it happened. What's done is
done. Now we have to figure out some way to bring her back to the
living."

"Here's the problem with that, Red," Spike interjected. "You see,
what we were before we were vampires, we are after we become human
again." He rolled his eyes at the confusion on her face.
Simpleton. "Let me give you an example. Let's take Darla. She was
nothing more than a cheap whore when she was human. 'Course that's
all she was as a vampire, too, but that's not really the point. She
was dyin' of a syphillic heart condition when she was turned. Now,
had Angel not dusted her once upon a time and she became human again,
her condition would pick up where it left off. She still die of the
heart condition. It would just take a little long is all."

"I-I didn't even realize that a vampire could become human again,"
Willow stuttered.

"It's possible, but most of don't want to go through all of the
trouble it would take. Isn't easy, you know. Everything comes with a
price. Besides, most of us wouldn't go back even if we could," Spike
informed her.

Suddenly, a thought hit Willow and a sense of dread filled her. "Oh
god," she said softly. "Someone has to tell Giles." She *so* did not
want to be the one to break the news to him. "It's not something we
should do over the phone. We have to tell him face to face."

Angel watched as Buffy tossed aside the body of her third victim that
night. He smiled broadly at her, so proud of her hunger and her
viciousness. She would make a perfect companion for him for all of
eternity. "So, my love, how does it feel to be undead?"

Buffy smiled at him, wiping the blood off of her mouth. "It feels
wonderful. I feel so free and so powerful. Why didn't you tell me
what I was missing?" she asked. "Why didn't you turn me a long time
ago?"

"I wanted you to want it," he explained, pulling her to his side
roughly and putting an arm around her. "I didn't want to turn you
against your will. I wanted to hear you beg for it."

She snarled at him, baring her fangs. "You'll never hear me beg
again. From now on, you are the one who is going to be doing the
begging."

"So what do you feel like doing now, my love? Still hungry?" he asked
her as they began to walk down the alley. "Because if you are, we
could always pay your little friends a visit. It would be fun to kick
Spike's ass for his insolence. Plus, I bet that Willow is pretty
tasty," he said, smacking his lips and grinning.

Buffy growled at him in warning. "I don't think so," she said,
scowling fiercely. "You leave them untouched. No one kills them but
me, and that is when and if I decide to do it. And as for
Spike...he's hands off."

Angel narrowed his eyes at her. "Speaking of insolence..." he
sneered. "You are my childe, Buffy, as is Spike. Do *not* forget your
place. I shall do with him as I please. Is that understood?" he
asked, drawing himself up to his full height so that he was towering
over her. The last thing he needed was another rebellious childe.
What was it with blondes?

She pulled away from his embrace, standing toe to toe with
him. "Don't even try to pull that intimidation shit with me,
*lover*," she sneered. "We can either be equals, or I can stake your
ass. Don't think I won't. I'm not doing the whole submissive thing
with you. You are not going to touch Spike. Spike was there for me
when no one else was. He took care of me. I might not have a soul,
but I still have a memory."

He grabbed her arm, jerking her back up against him. He pressed her
tightly to his body as he glared down on her with golden eyes of his
own. Then, to her surprise, he broke out into a huge grin. He began
chuckling softly as he crushed her mouth with his own. "Gods, Buffy,
I love you so much. You have so much fire! You truly are worthy of
being my equal and my mate," he purred. "Now, I'll ask again...are
you still hungry?"

Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment before a wicked smile crept
across her face. "Now that you mention it, I think I do have a little
room left. And I can think of one or two people that I wouldn't mind
making a snack of." She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards a
brand new Jaguar. "Know anything about hotwiring? 'Cause I want to
take this baby for a ride!"

Willow reached out with a shaky hand and pressed the Giles' doorbell.
They had decided to all go together to break the news to him, but
decided it would be best to wait until morning so that he would be
sober and hopefully over his inevitable hangover. She expected to
have to ring the thing a couple of more times before they got an
answer, but to her surprise, the door swung open a few seconds after
she rang it the first time. Giles stood there with a very distressed
look on his face. "Come in, come in," he said quickly, ushering them
into his living room. When they were all settled, he joined them with
a glass of brandy in his hand. "I take it that you all have heard the
terrible news," he said in a sorrowful voice. "It is such a tragedy."

Everyone looked at him in surprise. "You mean you know?" Xander asked
in bewilderment. "But how?"

"It was on the news this morning, of course," Giles said with a
puzzled expression. "Why? Isn't that how you found out about it?"

"Actually we kinda of walked up on it," Willow said in a weak
voice. "Well not it, exactly, but after it was over."

"Good lord!" Giles exclaimed in horror. "Are you telling me that you
found their bodies?"

"Bodies?"

"Does Buffy know about it yet? Where is she? Poor girl, she must be
taking it so hard," Giles continued in a worried tone.

"Uh, well I don't see how she could *not* know," Xander said
slowly. "I mean, she *was* there, you know. And she didn't actually
seem to be taking it so hard if you ask me. And what do you mean
*bodies*?"

"Wait a bloody minute!" Spike broke in, finally able to get a word in
edgewise. "I don't think we are talkin' about the same thing here, so
why don't you just tell us what in the bloody hell you are talking
about, old man." He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed in
frustration. It was like dealing with children.

"Why, I'm talking about Buffy's mother of course," Giles said. "She
and her boyfriend were found dead in her home early this morning. The
news said that the murders were extremely brutal and it sounded to me
as if it were the work of vampires. What were you talking about?"

Willow and Xander paled as the realization hit them. Spike just
buried his head in his hands and groaned. "Angel's gone and lost his
soul again, and this time he turned the Slayer," he said bluntly. "If
I had to guess, I'd say that she and the poof were the ones that did
her mum in. She had a lot of hate and resentment built up towards the
old bird, and she absolutely hated Ted. Said he used to knock her
around but her mum would never believe her about it. Can't say I'm
sorry to hear about his untimely demise. Kind of wish I had the honor
of doin' it myself."

The sound of glass shattering echoed through the house as the glass
of brandy that Giles had been holding dropped to the floor. "Dear
lord," he said quietly. "I've failed her. How could I have let this
happen?" He suddenly looked very old and very tired.

"You didn't fail her, Giles," Willow said softly. "She wanted it to
happen. She was dying. The popular theory we have going is that she
asked Angel to turn her. He couldn't do it unless he lost his soul
and became Angelus. You can, um, kind of follow it on your own from
there. We were kind of hoping that maybe you knew of some way that we
could help her. You know, reverse it or something. And we could
always do the curse."

"We've got to stop her immediately," Giles said gravely. "We can't
let her kill anymore people. If we *do* manage to find a way to get
our Buffy back, she won't be able to live with herself if she knows
that she's killed innocents."

"Don't you think it's a little late for that?" Willow asked. "I mean,
what about her mom and Ted?"

"If what Buffy told Spike is true, and I don't believe that she would
have lied about such a thing, then Ted was an abusive bastard that
got what he deserved. And if her mother overlooked the abuse of her
own child, then I have no sympathy for her either," Giles said in a
cold voice. "Apparently, I'm not the only one who failed her. Joyce
was never fit to be that girl's mother," he said in a bitter
tone. "Now, we need to get going. We have got to find Buffy and
Angel before they do any more damage. Willow and Spike, you two come
with me. Xander, why don't you stay here. Keep watching the news
reports. If anything else comes up, please alert us. In addition, I
need you to call Wesley and tell him the situation. Perhaps he may be
able to aid us in finding a solution."

Normally, Xander would have protested at being left out of the fray,
but now he just shook his head. "Yes, sir," he said, giving Giles a
little salute. Spike smirked to himself. Guess Harris has more sense
than I gave him credit for, he thought to himself. Good thing that
the boy had realized that he wasn't dealing with mild mannered
librarian Rupert Giles. The dangerous glint in the old man's eyes
spoke loud and clear. Ripper was in charge here, and no one crossed
him. Willow followed behind Giles, but Spike waited until they had
unlocked the door before running out into the sunlight and lunging
into the backseat. He was very thankful that Giles had tinted
windows.

"Where should be look first?" Giles asked as he screeched out of the
parking lot of the Magic Box.

"I have a fairly good idea of where they might be," Willow said
anxiously. "I just hope we aren't too late. Step on it, Giles. We are
going to LA."

While Willow, Spike, and Xander had been arguing over who was going
to break the news to Giles, Buffy and Angelus had decided to take a
little road trip while they still had the cover of night. Buffy was
driving, and since she never obeyed speed limits, they reached LA in
record time. Following Angelus' directions, she screeched to a halt
in front of what looked to be a really, *really* nice set of
apartments. She let out a low whistle. "So this is it, huh?" she
said. "It seems fitting."

"Yeah, this is the place," Angelus said. "Are you ready to do this?"

"Baby, I've never looked forward to something so much," she said,
smiling around her fangs. "I'm going to take great pleasure in
torturing and killing this bitch." Her features shifted to her normal
human visage and she smiled at him sweetly. "I mean, four years is a
really long time to go without seeing a friend. Think she'll be happy
to see me?" She gave him a sly wink.

His features shifted as well and he grinned at her in that sexy smile
of his. "I can just here the screams of surprise now." They hopped
out of the car and made their way to the very top floor of the
apartment building. Stepping out of the elevator, Buffy felt a shiver
of anticipation run through her cold, hard body. This was going to be
*fun*. She stood to the side, out of view of the peephole, as Angelus
knocked lightly on the door.

"Just a sec!" a muffled voice called from the other side of the door.
The door opened and Cordelia stood staring at Angel in
disbelief. "Angel! What are you doing here? I thought that
after...well, I thought that you didn't want to see me again."

Angelus gave her his famous little half smile, the one that made him
look so much like a little boy in a grown man's body. "I know that I
said some harsh things, Cordy, but I've been thinking and I've
changed my mind."

"Oh?" she asked in surprise, arching her eyebrows. "And why is that?"

Angel leaned in closer to her, smiling seductively. "Well, if you
must know, I've been lonely without you. I was sitting there today
thinking about you and how much I'd like to make you scream," he
said, his voice taking a lustful tone. "I bet you're a real screamer,
aren't you, Cordy?"

Cordelia turned bright red. "Well, it has been a while since anyone
has been in the position to let me know. I'm so glad that you changed
your mind, Angel. I couldn't bear it when you said you didn't want to
see me again."

"Silly girl, of course I want to see you again," he said smoothly. "I
can't wait to see what your insides look like spilled all over your
carpet."

Her eyes widened, first in shock and then in fear. "Oh god...you're
him again, aren't you?" she said. She tried to slam the door shut,
but he shoved it open. He grabbed her, clamping a hand over her mouth
to muffle her screams.

"That's right, Cordy. I'm back. It's been such a long time since
we've gotten to play. And I brought a friend with me," he said, his
features shifting into his demonic ones. Cordelia stiffened when
Buffy, in full game face, stepped into view. "We're gonna have *lots*
of fun."

Part 8

Buffy and Angelus were long gone by the time that Willow, Xander,
Giles, and Spike arrived at Cordelia's apartment. It was noon now,
and they had left under the cover of the night to find someplace to
nest for the coming day. Willow held open the door for Spike while he
pulled his duster over his head and ran out of the car, into the
sunlight, and into the apartment building. "So, are we sure this is
the place?" Willow asked after they had all made it inside, and Spike
had managed to put out a few minor flames. "This place looks like it
would cost a million bucks just for a month's rent."

"Then this must be right," Xander said dryly. "Nothing but the best
for Queen Cordelia."

Giles looked back down at the paper in his hand, frowning
slightly. "Well, this is the correct address, I'm sure of it. Let's
go. And everyone, please remember to proceed cautiously." The four of
them rode the elevator up to the top floor in silence. When the doors
slid open, they crept quietly out onto the floor and made their way
down the hall. Giles led the way, coming to a halt a few feet away
from an apartment door that was standing slightly ajar. "This is the
one," Giles said in a low voice. He placed one hand on the door and
pushing it open slowly, quietly, just a little at a time, and peered
around into the apartment. "I think if they *have* been here, they
are gone now."

Spike sniffed the air carefully. "If they were here, I'd be able to
smell their scents. It's all clear. But I do smell bl-"

"Dear lord!" Giles exclaimed, interrupting Spike's warning. He had
been the first to actually enter the apartment, and now everyone
gathered behind Giles, peeking over his shoulder. What they saw
sickened them, even Spike. Xander had to step out into the hall,
retching from the horrible shock. Willow's face was as white as a
sheet. Even Spike found that he couldn't look at the scene for more
than a moment before averting his eyes. Giles just stood there,
frozen with horror.

"B-buffy couldn't have d-done this," Willow stuttered. "It had to be
Angelus. She couldn't h-have done something like this. Buffy isn't
capable of something this...this heinous. I mean, I know she hated
Cordy, but..."

"The old Buffy wasn't, but we aren't talking about the old Buffy
here, Red. We are talking about a demon that hasn't taken control of
her body. She's a *vampire* now, Red," Spike reminded her
gently. "Besides, this isn't Angelus' work. He has a certain style,
and while this is admirable, it's definitely not him. He helped a
little, but Buffy got to have most of the fun. Looks like she
*really* enjoyed herself, too."

They stared down at Cordelia's mutilated body, barely recognizable
now. It was obvious that her death had not been an easy one, nor had
it been quick. No, they had taken their time, drawn it out for the
pure pleasure of it. Spike had never much been one for mutilation. He
was more interested in getting the kill and getting out. Angelus,
however, was a completely different kind of killer. It was all a game
to him. To Angelus, it was an art. He worked in the blood of
innocents like other men worked in paints or clay. He took great
pleasure in every aspect of the kill. For him, it wasn't about *just*
the hunt or *just* the kill. The whole thing was like one big
seduction. He could make you want death more than anything in the
world. It seemed like Buffy had taken a cue from him. She seemed just
as vicious, if not more so, than his own prick of a grandsire. She
was a little bit sloppy, but she definitely had more potential than
most.

"There's just so much blood," Xander said quietly before he got sick
again. "Sorry," he said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve a few
minutes later. "I've always had a weak stomach, which is kinda
inconvenient when you live on a hellmouth. I've seen a lot of
horrible things since I've lived in Sunnydale, but this is different.
I mean, this is Cordelia we are talking about. I *knew* her. I
*dated* her."

"What are we going to do? I feel bad just leaving her here like
this," Willow said.

"Willow, she's been here quite sometime. I'd say that this was done
last night sometime," Giles said, trying to comfort her.

"He's right, Red," Spike confirmed. "Besides that, I don't think
she'll mind, being as how she's dead and all. If we stay here very
much longer, we're gonna have to go to the police station and answer
a bunch of questions that there *aren't* answers for. What we need to
do is go somewhere to regroup. We *have* to find them before they do
anymore damage."

Before they left, Willow gave Cordelia's mangled corpse one last
glance. Then she shut the door quietly behind them, making sure to
wipe off any of their fingerprints from the doorknob. They headed to
Wesley's apartment, hoping that he would be able to give them some
kind of hope that they could save their friend. Spike opted to take
the sewers rather than to dash out into the sunlight again. He
promised to meet them at Wesley's. They had no clue that he was
instead planning on finding Buffy and Angelus himself.

Buffy laid beside Angelus, sleeping the sleep of the dead. They were
holed up in an abandoned building down by the docks, waiting until
the sun went down before their next killing spree. Buffy knew that he
was coming before he actually got there. They had spent so much time
together that she probably could have sensed him even without her new
enhanced senses. Now she knew he was coming, even as she laid there
dreaming. Tentatively, she reached out and touched him with her
mind. 'I know you're coming,' she taunted him. 'I'll be waiting for
you.'

Spike could feel her probing his mind with her own, forcing her
thoughts into his head. She showed him the whole gruesome act of
Cordelia's murder, or her mother's mother, of Ted's. It was like
watching a movie for Spike. She showed him every little detail, and
it was so vivid that it was like it was happening now, right in front
of him. 'Come to me,' she was saying. 'Come and play.' He grimaced at
what he knew laid ahead of him. He would go to her all right, but he
would have to get through Angelus first. Even if he *did* manage to
get through the prick, he would have to then deal with Miss Buffy I-
used-to-be-a-Slayer-but-now-I'm-a-vampire. Now that was a whole other
ballgame. One never knew how much of their former personality a
person would retain after they had been turned. She could still
retain a little loyalty to him after all he had done for her, or she
could try to rip out his bloody throat.

Spike sloshed through the sewers, blocking all thoughts of the
disgusting things he was wading through from his head. When he had
first learned to rely on the sewers for transportation, he had been
horrified by both the smell and the sights. Fortunately, he had
learned to block it out of his thoughts. Right now, Buffy consumed
his every thought, so he wouldn't have noticed his surroundings
anyway. He followed the pull of their connection until he came upon a
manhole of sorts. Cautiously, quietly, he climbed the ladder and
pushed the lid off. Poking his head up through the hole, he found
that it opened right up into an old abandoned building. He felt her
calling to him, beckoning to him to come and find her. Unfortunately
for Spike, the sire/childe bond between he and Angelus was still
strong enough for his sire to sense his arrival also. Suddenly, Spike
felt himself being lifted out of the manhole by his jacket. His eyes
focused on Angelus' face right before a fist connected with his jaw
and Spike blacked out.

When he came to, he found himself laying on a blanket on the cold
cement floor. He heard Buffy and Angel shouting at one another,
obviously in the middle of a heated argument. He strained to hear
what they were saying, but he was only able to catch bits and pieces.

"If you think for one minute that I'm going to look the other way..."
Angel said.

"...not your decision!" Buffy shouted.

"Buffy, he is *going* to be punished..."

"...let me handle it..."

There was more, but Spike couldn't make out the words. Everything
seemed all jumbled up to him because of the severe blow he had
suffered. Finally, a door swung opened and Buffy walked in. For a
moment, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope for Spike...until he saw
Angelus stalk in behind her. "You are lucky, boy," Angelus sneered at
him. "I *should* punish you for daring to touch my mate for all of
those years *but* she has appealed to me on your behalf. She will be
the one to administer your punishment." With one last glare at Spike,
Angelus turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, slamming the
door behind him.

Buffy sauntered over to where Spike was laying on the floor, her
heels clicking against the floor. She nudged him over onto his back,
planting a foot on his chest. "Oh, Spike, did you come to play with
me? You've been a naughty boy, you know. Angel wanted to punish you,
but I persuaded him to let me play with you instead. I guess that
means that you owe me," she said in a sultry voice, grinding her
spiked heel into his chest.

Spike gritted his teeth in pain. "If loving you means that I was
naughty, then I guess I was. As far as punishment, seeing you like
this is the worst punishment the bastard could have subjected me to.
They are going to save you, Buffy. They are going to fix everything
and you'll be back to your old self again in no time."

She narrowed her eyes at him, applying more pressure to his
chest. "You think I want to be my old self again? I *hated* who I was
before. I was so weak and naive, but not anymore. Now, I'm strong and
powerful. All of those years I spent saving the world, no one
appreciated me. People never even noticed I was there. Well, now they
are sitting up and taking notice. Now I decide who lives or dies. I
won't go back to being the old Buffy. She is dead and buried, so you
can't just forget it." She suddenly smiled at him, removing her foot
from his chest. She kneeled down, straddling him and bending over to
lick the blood away from the wound her heel inflicted. Spike shivered
when her tongue made contact with his skin. "Mmmm, you like that
don't you, baby?" she purred, nipping at his flesh. She snaked her
hand down to grab his crouch, giving him a gentle squeeze. He groaned
in need, his body responding to her touch as his cock sprang to
life. "I'm going to hurt you, Spike, and I'm going to make you like
it. I'm going to make you beg me for more." She squeezed him harder,
causing him to groan again, this time in pain.

"Sounds like fun," Spike grunted. To a vampire, pain *was* pleasure.
Torture at her hands would be ecstasy for him.

Wesley stared in disbelief at the weary looking group of old friends
that sat in his living room. "So Angel is evil again, and Buffy has
been turned into a vampire?" he asked in awe. This certainly a very
startling piece of news. "She killed her own mother in cold blood.
And Cordelia...they killed her. But why? Why has all of this
happened?"

Willow and Xander let Giles fill Wesley in on the details while they
held each other's hand for comfort. This was all just too much for
them at the moment. After Giles had finished getting Wesley up to
date, they all just sat there for a moment in complete silence.
Finally, Giles broke the silence. "We were hoping that you could help
us find a way to help both Buffy and Angel. We could always do the
curse on both of them, but I don't think that I could bear to see her
have to exist as a vampire. Furthermore, I think that if we cursed
her with her soul, *she* could bear it. Being turned has always been
one of Buffy's worst fears."

"Of course, I'll do anything in my power to help. Angel is not only
my employer, but also a dear friend of mine," Wesley said. "Anything
that I have, any resource, all of my knowledge, is at your disposal.
I will start researching immediately."

"I'll help you," Willow volunteered immediately. "Research is totally
my thing."

"Yeah, I'll help, too," Xander offered. "And I'm also great at
getting refreshments."

"Well, that is wonderful, but what do you intend on doing to prevent
Buffy and Angelus from killing again in the meantime?" Wesley asked
them.

"Well, we figured that Spike could help us find them. If he can lead
us to them, then perhaps we can sedate them or restrain them in some
way," Giles explained.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Willow. "Wait a minute...where is
Spike? Shouldn't he be here by now? I mean, he said he was gonna meet
us here but that was at least an hour and a half ago."

"You don't think that he would have gone after them by himself do
you?" Xander asked nervously.

"I don't know. As odd as it sounds, I do believe that Spike cared a
great deal for Buffy. In addition, we all know how much he hates
Angel. I wouldn't doubt that he would go after them himself, but for
all of our sakes, I hope not. If somehow they convince Spike to join
them, many will die and any edge we have will be gone. That is *if*
they don't kill him. I suppose that all we can really do is wait and
see if he comes back. In the meantime, we should all begin our
research if we hope to find a way to help Buffy without killing her."

Angelus grinned as he listened to the sound of Spike screaming in
agony. He felt a swell of pride at how well Buffy had adjusted to
being a vampire. Even at this early stage, she was a skillful hunter
and a master at killing and maiming. He looked forward to teaching
her about the finer things in life that she wasn't knowledgeable in,
such as the fine art of torture. If Spike's scream were any
indication, she was going to be a natural. He smiled smugly, thinking
of the centuries that were yet to come, centuries that they would
spend together, feeding and fucking for eternity. There was only one
problem...Spike. Angelus supposed that since Buffy seemed to have
some sort of fondness for Spike that he would just have to break him.
Then, she could keep him around as a pet for as long as she desired.
Angelus would deny his dark queen nothing.

What Angelus did not know was that Spike's screams were not only
screams of pain, but also screams of intense pleasure. Buffy was
currently amusing herself with simultaneously riding him like a
stallion and burning his flesh with his own cigarette lighter. The
painful pleasure didn't last very long, however. It soon turned into
pure ecstasy. As her pleasure increased, Buffy began to focus less on
his torture and more on his cock, which was bringing her incredible
pleasure. She dropped the lighter, grinding against him with
incredible force. His groans became louder as she continued to fuck
him into the floor, striving for an orgasm. The time came when both
knew that they were on the edge. Buffy pulled her hair to the side,
baring her neck to Spike. As he sank his fangs into her neck, she bit
into his shoulder and they drunk from one another. As the metallic
taste of blood filled their mouths, it immediately triggered their
release. "Yes!" she hissed when her climax overtook her. He followed
her quickly, spilling his dead seed into her depths.

She sat up and slapped him across the face. "That was great," she
said with a big smile. "We'll have to do it again real soon." She
licked the last traces of his blood off of her lips, watching him
with eyes that were still glowing golden. Then she stood up, letting
him slip out of her, and walked back toward the door she had entered
from. "You know, Spike, we could be a family. It could be nice. Think
about it," she said before walking through the door and slamming it
shut behind her, leaving him alone in the darkness.

Family, he thought to himself. Yeah, they could be a family all
right. He knew that it would be just like it had been with Dru.
Angelus would fuck her and torture her and Spike would get what was
left over. He saw what the bastard had done to Dru throughout all of
those years. He was *not* gonna let that happen to Buffy. No bloody
way. For four years, she had looked to him for safety and strength.
He was *not* going to fail her. Now...how to escape?

Part 9

"I don't understand," Fred said in her soft, shy voice. "I mean, why
would Angel give up his soul? It doesn't make sense." She looked
around at the others, finally resting her eyes on Wesley, silently
begging him for some kind of explanation. "He's my friend, and he is
such a good person-"

"Vampire," Xander cut in. Willow elbowed him sharply as a blush crept
over Fred's face.

"Yes, I meant vampire," she corrected, ducking her head down to avoid
eye contact with the others. "It's just that he prided himself
on "helping the helpless" as Cordy used to say..." She trailed off
sadly as she remembered that her friend was now dead. "Poor Cordelia.
I mean, after all that you have told us, I know that Angel was angry
with her and had every right to be, but I could have never imagined
he would kill her."

"It wasn't Angel that killed Cordy," Gunn reminded her gently,
massaging her shoulders. "It was the demon. The Angel we know would
have never done anything to hurt anyone, especially not Cordelia."

"Yes, Gunn is quite right," Wesley agreed. "Angel would have never
harmed one hair on Cordelia's head, no matter what kind of horrible
thing she did. However, giving the option of seeing the love of his
life die or giving his soul for her, he made the choice that I would
have expected from him. He gave up his soul for Buffy so that she
wouldn't have to die. Now we have to figure out what we are going to
do to rectify the situation. We must find some way to reverse the
process that made her a vampire. If we could find some way to prevent
her from dying when she became human again, that would of course be
wonderful, but we really must concentrate on trying to return her to
her previous state of being."

"Well, I am just taking a little break, but I'll keep on researching
as long as it takes," Willow said with determination. "Buffy is my
best friend and I won't let her down."

"I can help, too," Fred offered quickly. She gave the redhead a shy
little smile. Fred and Willow had so much in common that they had
bonded instantly even though they had never met before. Wesley had
sent Xander for Fred and Gunn almost immediately after he had learned
of everything that had happened, fearing for their safety.
Unfortunately, most of their time had been spend explaining the
situation than doing actual research. It was time to get down to
business.

"I'm not too good with the whole research thing, but I can get all of
the weapons polished and ready in case we need them," Gunn
offered. "And maybe set up a few traps, too. You know, like a
defensive type thing."

"That would be most helpful," Giles said gratefully. "It's settled
then. Fred, Willow, Wesley, and I will continue to research the
situation. Gunn will take care of the weapons. And Xander-"

"Pizza and sodas?" Xander asked.

"Yes, quite right."

"I'm on it," Xander said, standing up and collecting his jacket. He
took contributions from everyone to fund their dinner and stuffed the
money in his pocket before heading out the door. Before he left, Gunn
equipped him with two stakes, a cross, and a bottle of holy
water. "Somehow, I don't think that a stake and some holy water are
gonna stop Dead Boy if he wants to rip out my throat, but thanks
anyway," Xander told Gunn, giving him one of his quirky grins. "When
I get back, I can help with the traps. Might as well put my military
training to use."

"I hope that he makes it back alright," Willow said, worry creasing
her forehead. "We already lost Spike, we don't need to lose Xander,
too." I wonder what happened to Spike? she thought to herself. How
could he just disappear? The next time they saw him, would he be a
pile of dust? Or worse, would he be on Angelus' side?

Spike was biding his time in his little cell, silently planning a
course of action for bringing Angelus down and bringing Buffy back to
the living. He sat there for hours in the dark, plotting and
planning, waiting for his opportunity to strike. The opportunity
finally came about fifteen minutes after sundown. He heard shuffling
on the other side of the door, and he knew that they were preparing
to go out and wreak havoc til dawn. Fortunately for him, Buffy had
insisted that they feed him first. He couldn't help but smile a
little at the knowledge that Buffy still held a little loyalty to
him, even if it was just a little.

He had heard Angelus and her arguing for hours after she had
finished "punishing" him. The minute she had walked through the door,
the shouting had began. Angelus had smelled sex on her the minute she
opened the door, and he had erupted in anger at the knowledge that
she'd just had sex with Spike.

"You were supposed to punish him, Buffy, not fuck him into oblivion,"
Angelus growled.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she had shrieked at him. "I *did* punish
him. Go see for yourself if you don't believe me. I used his own
lighter on him. Funny thing...if you can smell sex on me, why can't
you smell burning flesh?"

They had gone on and on for hours like that, just screaming and
yelling at each other. Angelus yelled that he could smell Spike's
come dripping down her thighs and Buffy yelled that he had given it
to her better than Angel ever could. Angelus yelled that he was going
to march in there and kill Spike right now. Buffy vowed that she
would stake *him* if he even *thought* about *touching* Spike. He
heard loud crashes and glass shattering and curses every couple of
minutes, punctuating the screams and shouts. Finally, after what
seemed like forever, the noise died down a bit and all that could be
heard was soft, muffled voices. Once he heard a large crash and a
moan, and he was fairly sure that they were "making up" on one of the
piles of crates that were stacked everywhere around the place.

Now, the door swung open and Angelus came stalking in, carrying a bag
of blood. He threw it at Spike, glaring at him in pure hate. "Here.
Drink it because it is all you are going to get for a while," he
spat, his eyes burning a golden yellow. Spike took a deep, unneeded
breath, knowing this was the chance he had been waiting for and that
he might not get another one. Deciding that now was the time to
implement his plan, he smirked up at Angelus. "What are you smirking
at, boy?" Angelus growled. d

Ha! He was falling for it! Spike leaned back against the wall
casually, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nothing, mate. It's just
that I am more hungry than I thought I would be considering Buffy let
me drink from her a few hours ago." He watched as Angelus' expression
shifted for an instant into a mask of surprise and anger. Then, he
regained his composure and forced a blank expression across his face.
If Spike would have blinked, he would have missed it. He smiled to
himself, knowing that he was getting to Angelus. The plan was
working. "You knew that of course, since she is your girl and all,
but I have to admit that I'm surprised that you would allow her to
let me drink from her. Of course, I guess that shouldn't surprise me
at all, considering you also let her fuck me. Gave me a real work
out, she did. Guess that's why I'm a bit peckish after all."

That was all it took to send Angelus over the edge. He roared in
anger, launching himself across the room at Spike. Fortunately, Spike
was ready for his attack and stepped out of the way in time. Angelus
missed him, flying across the room and head first into the wall
instead. Spike took the opportunity to kick him while he was down,
slamming his boot right into his face. Then, he grabbed a metal pipe
and began to pound Angelus with it relentlessly, muttering a torrent
of curse words as he pummeled him. When he was satisfied that his
grandsire was out cold, he dropped the pipe and strode over quickly
to the door. Pushing it open, he came face to face with Buffy.

"What did you do?" she hissed at him, trying to look past him to find
Angelus.

"I don't want to hurt you, baby..." Spike began. Buffy growled at
him, launching herself at him. He caught her, pushed her back, and
punched her square in the jaw with all of his might. "Doesn't mean I
won't." He caught her as her body went slack and she began to sink to
the floor. Scooping her up in his arms, he kissed her lightly on the
cheek. "I wish there was another way..." he said regretfully. Across
the room, he spied what appeared to have once been the front door of
the place but was now all boarded up. Carrying Buffy in his arms, he
kicked open the boarded up door and walked out into the night. He
knew that he had to hurry up and get her to safety before Angelus
woke up.

Using his vampiric senses, he followed the scent of the others to an
apartment building across town. Opening the door, he entered the
building and mounted the steps, taking care not to do anything that
would cause Buffy to stir. He just hoped that he had given the others
enough time to find a way to turn Buffy back to her normal state.
Even if it meant that he was going to have to lose her again, that
she would have to die one more time, he wanted her to be able to find
peace in death. He knew that being a vampire was not she would have
wanted to carry on. Not his Buffy.

Pizza boxes were strewn all over Wesley's apartment, as were thick,
dusty books and old ancient scrolls of all sizes. Giles and Wesley
were sitting around the kitchen table going through books that were
written in strange languages, while Willow typed furiously on her
laptop, searching for any information that might prove to be even
remotely useful. Fred had fallen asleep a long time ago, curled up
against Gunn's chest. She snored softly as he stroked her hair.
Xander was struggling through a book of his own, but mostly he was
just able to understand the pictures.

"I'm afraid that this might be a lost cause, old friend," Giles said
quietly to Wesley, wiping his tired eyes with his hand. "I failed
her, you know. I was her Watcher and I let her down."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Rupert," Wesley chided him
gently. "You couldn't have done anything to prevent this really. You
could not have prevented her illness. Need I remind you that those
who wronged Buffy the most during her life are now dead? Obviously,
if she blamed you or was angry with you in any way, you would already
be a dead man. She loved you like a father. It was clear to me from
the moment I first arrived in Sunnydale. You were more than her
Watcher...you were her friend. That is as it should be." He sighed,
rolling his head around to pop his neck before bending back over the
text he was reading. "Don't give up hope for her, Rupert. She
wouldn't give up on you."

"Yes, I know you are right," Giles said. "It's just that...I'm not
sure the right thing to do is to bring her back. I don't know that I
can stand watching her die a slow, painful death from cancer. I know
that staking her now would be much less painful."

"But you also know that she would die without a soul," Wesley said
sternly. "You know that if that happens, she will endure *much* more
torment in hell. If we get her back, even though it will be tragic to
see her die such a painful death, at least we can rest easy knowing
that she will be going to a better place."

"Quite right," Giles said, sighing heavily. "There is another reason
that I hesitate to bring her back. I don't know if she could deal
with all of the blood on her hands. Not only did she kill Cordelia
and Ted, but she killed her own mother. I don't know that Buffy could
deal with that."

"Something tells me that in her heart, her mother was already dead,"
Wesley said. "It will be hard on her knowing that she took human
lives, of course, but Buffy is a strong young woman. She also has the
good fortune of having good friends to help her deal with what she
has done, people who will care about her no matter what. And she has
a hell of a good Watcher. I would never have been half of the Watcher
you are Giles."

"Not a Watcher anymore," Giles said sadly. "Just an old, dusty
librarian. Not even that anymore, not since the school was destroyed,
though I appreciate the sentiment."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Wesley told him.

"Yes, you are right. No need in wasting precious time feeling sorry
for myself. We must find a way to help Buffy," Giles said solemnly.
Both men turned their attention back to their respective books,
studying the symbols closely.

"I may be on to something here," Wesley said in an excited voice a
little while later. "I can't be sure, but this may just be what we
have been looking for. I just need a little more time..."

"Time is not really a luxury we have at the moment," Giles reminded
him anxiously.

"I'm aware of that, Rupert," Wesley replied tersely. "I'm doing the
best that I can. This is ancient Sumerian. It takes a little more
time to translate. Why don't you stop hovering over me and go check
on the others."

Giles pushed back his chair with a loud scrape and walked out of the
room without a word. He didn't mean to come across as so overbearing,
but finding a cure for Buffy was of the utmost importance. When he
entered the living room, he found everyone fast asleep. Fred and Gunn
were cuddled together on the couch while Xander was passed out in a
recliner. Willow's head was resting on the desk. She had fallen
asleep at the computer trying to find a solution. Giles walked over
to her, shaking her awake gently.

Willow blinked at him sleepily, trying to register where she
was. "Giles, hi," she said in a sleepy voice. "What's going on? Did
something happen?"

"I just wanted to let you know that Wesley thinks he might have found
something that may be of help to us. He is translating it now," Giles
whispered.

"That's great," Willow said with a tired smile. "I called Tara and
Anya earlier and told them to go to someplace safe and not come out
until they get word from one of us that all is safe." She looked down
at her lap, not meeting Giles' eyes. "This is all our faults, you
know. We really let her down, Giles. She was dying from this
horrible, painful disease and we didn't even know. She had to go
through it all alone."

"I realize that, Willow, but we must not let our emotions rule us. We
must put the past out of our minds and concentrate on finding a way
to help Buffy *now* because that is what counts," he told her gently.

"I know, and you're right," Willow said. "But...do you think she
hates us?" she asked in a small voice.

Giles smiled at her kindly. "Willow, Buffy could never hate you.
Xander, Buffy, and yourself have always been like the Three
Musketeers. Now Cordelia is a different story. Buffy had good reason
to hate her. She never really fit in with you three. She was always
selfish and self-centered, even when she *was* on our side. But you?
She could never hate you."

Willow smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, Giles. You always know what
to say to make me feel better, you know that?"

Suddenly, they heard shouting coming from the kitchen. "I've got it!"
Wesley cried triumphantly. It was that moment that the front door
burst open and revealed Spike standing in the doorway, cradling an
unconscious Buffy in his arms. All of the noise had woken everyone up
and now they all sat, staring in disbelief at Spike, their mouths
hanging open in shock.

"Well, aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked, cocking an
eyebrow.

Part 10

When Spike kicked open the door, still holding Buffy in his arms,
Willow's jaw hit the floor. "Spike! Buffy! You have her," Willow
babbled excitedly. "You have Buffy. He has Buffy," she said, turning
to Giles.

"Yes, very good, Red," Spike said sarcastically. "Nothing gets by
you. Now could you *please* invite me in already, before Angelus
wakes up and comes looking for her?"

"Oh, uh, right. Come in," she said sheepishly.

"*Thank* you," he said, stepping across the threshold. "It's about
bloody time. I need somewhere to lay her down," he said, glancing
around the room. "Hey, you two, move it or lose it," he said, nudging
Gunn and Fred with his knee. They blinked at him sleepily for a
moment before moving out of his way. He laid Buffy down gently on the
couch and stood up, motioning for everyone to go into the kitchen so
as not to wake her up.

"What is *he* doing here?" Wesley asked, blanching a little at
Spike's presence in his apartment. "Who invited him in?"

"Doesn't matter, mate. The fact is that I'm here, and you have bigger
problems than me being here in your apartment. It won't belong before
a very pissed off Angelus is going to be coming after Buffy," Spike
warned.

Wesley looked at him haughtily. "I assure you, I am not stupid enough
to invite Angelus into my home. I am perfectly aware that he is not
Angel, and that he is most certainly not my friend. I will not let my
affection for Angel cloud my judgment. Angelus shall not be getting
in here!"

"Really?" Spike said in a sarcastic tone. "Well, tell me something,
oh wise one...did ya ever invite the poof into your place while he
was all souled?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then you are up shit creek, mate, because the invitation applies to
Angelus, too," Spike said bluntly. Wesley looked like he had just
been slapped. "Uh-huh, didn't know that, didya? You bloody Watchers
think you are *so* smart, but you don't know anything useful.
Wouldn't mind if the whole lot of ya took a long walk, if ya catch my
drift." Wesley glared at that the blonde vampire, and Spike just
smirked in response.

"Rupert, are you going to let him speak about us that way?" Wesley
asked in indignation.

"I'm afraid I am going to have to agree with him on that one, Wesley.
Besides, he is speaking about *you* that way, not me. I'm no longer a
Watcher, remember?"

"Can we please get back to the matter at hand?" Xander asked
impatiently. The thought of being anywhere near Angelus made his skin
crawl. He never liked Angel, but Soul Boy was a definite pleasure
compared to Angelus. He always looked at Xander with a strange hunger
in his eyes that made the boy shiver.

"The whelp is right," Spike said, taking on a more serious
tone. "Look, Angelus has an open invitation here anytime he wants.
The first thing we need to do is uninvite him. Don't you have some
kind of wicked incantation or spell for that, Witch?" he asked
Willow, who nodded in confirmation. "Good. Then make with the hocus
pocus and make sure that prick can't get in here."

Willow wasted no time. She immediately ran into the living room and
began rummaging through her bag for the supplies she would need.
Fortunately, she always kept a few basics on hand at all times. She
found that she had everything that she needed and quickly began to
chant the words of the reversal spell.

Spike turned his attention back to Wesley and Giles after he had made
sure that Willow was working on the spell. "I think that we need to
restore Buffy's soul," he told the two Brits in a low voice. "If Red
doesn't get the spell done in time, or if it doesn't work for some
reason, we are going to need Buffy's help to fight Angelus. In her
current state, she is only going to make things worse. You've seen
what she can do. Do you really want to have to fight her *and*
Angelus?"

"He has a point," Giles said, taking his glasses off and polishing
them with a handkerchief.

"I don't know about all of this. I thought that we agreed..." Wesley
began.

"Don't think...it just slows us down," Spike said coldly. "We don't
have a choice on this one. It's do or die, mates."

"But I found a way to cure her...or at least I think I did."

"Yeah? So why aren't you doing it already?" Spike asked skeptically.

"I need time to prepare," Wesley said lamely.

"We are out of time," Spike said. "Unless Red can revoke the
invitation, pretty soon we are going to be getting a call from your
worst nightmare."

Willow came back into the kitchen then, a distressed look coloring
her pretty features. "I don't know what's wrong, but the spell won't
work. Maybe it is the wolf bane. It looked a little stale, and
carrying it around in my purse probably didn't help any. What are we
going to do now?"

Giles made a snap decision then, one that he hoped would serve to
save their lives. "Willow, I need you to perform the soul restoration
spell on Buffy." Willow looked at him with wide, startled eyes. "We
are going to need her help to fight Angelus," Giles explained. "The
reversal spell failed, so this is our only hope. Spike might be a
match for Angelus, but if we don't restore Buffy's soul, he will be
fighting both of them. That is impossible odds, even for him."

"But my supplies...they aren't any good," Willow said
anxiously. "Besides, I don't even think I have the right ingredients.
I *know* that I don't have an orb. I don't guess you just happen to
have one of those lying around-"

"Actually, I have one," Wesley said, standing up from his seat and
starting down the hall. "I kept one around just in case I needed. I
feared that a situation similar to this one would occur." He
reappeared a few moments later with a box in his hands. He set it on
the table, reaching his hand in the box and pulling out the orb. "As
for the rest of the ingredients that you will need, they are also in
here. And don't worry...I used my vacuum sealer to seal them in
airlock packets," he said proudly.

"How very Martha Stewart of you," Xander quipped.

Willow rolled her eyes and grabbed the box. "Come on, Xander, I'm
gonna need your help. About that time, they heard a shriek coming
from the living room. Everyone ran to see what was going on, fearing
that Angelus had already arrived. Instead they found Buffy sitting on
top of Fred in the floor, preparing to sink her fangs into the creamy
white flesh of Fred's throat. Gunn was laying against the wall,
unconscious. "Oh my god!"

In a flash, Spike was across the room, pulling Buffy off of Fred. She
turned golden eyes on him, hissing and growling in rage. He struggled
to keep hold of her as she struggled to free herself from his
grip. "If you all don't mind, get me some fucking rope or something
so I can tie her up!" Spike roared, ducking flying fists,
fingernails, and fangs. Everyone scattered, searching everywhere for
something to tie Buffy up with. Finally, Xander found some clothes
line that would be strong enough in the garage. By the time he made
it back into the house, Spike had managed to wrestle Buffy down onto
the floor and pinned her hands behind her back. "It's about bloody
time! Well don't just stand there, whelp! Get yer ass over here and
give me a hand," Spike snarled.

Xander took a few tentative steps in their direction but stopped when
she snapped her teeth at him. "Uh, not really wanting to lose a limb
here," Xander said, eyeing the situation warily.

"Oh bloody hell!" Spike exclaimed in frustration. "Could you *not* be
a pussy for two seconds and give me a godamn hand here?"

Xander's face reddened in embarrassment and anger. "I am not being a
pussy. I just don't happen to possess supernatural speed or strength
with which to defend myself if our little vixen there gets loose and
decided she wants a Xander snack."

Spike looked up at him with a smirk, arching an eyebrow. "Like she'd
really bite you anyway. What the hell would she want with you?"

"Oh, she would," Xander said confidently.

"Not bloody likely," Spike said doubtfully.

"I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious," Xander
huffed in indignation.

"All right, yeah fine. You're a nummy treat," Spike said rolling his
eyes. He tightened his grip on Buffy's wrists as she continued to
buck and writhe beneath him, trying to break free.

"And don't you forget it," Xander said, crossing his arms over his
chest.

"Xander?"

"Yes?"

"Could you please get me a fucking chair now so I can tie her up?!"
Spike roared in aggravation. Xander jumped about a foot off the
ground, a startled look on his face. Quickly, he grabbed the desk
chair that Willow had been using earlier, and seeing that it had
small wheels on the bottom, shoved it as hard as he could to Spike.
He wanted to keep as much distance as possible between himself and
Vampire Buffy. Spike hauled her up and into the chair, holding her
there while Gunn bound her securely with the clothesline. "Hey, Red,
are you about ready to do your thing?" Spike called into the kitchen.

Willow appeared in the doorway of the living room, holding the big
box of supplies. "Yeah, I think so," she said, a bit frazzled by
everything that was going on.

Buffy looked at all of them through narrowed, golden eyes. "What are
you doing to me?" she growled.

"We are restoring your soul, luv," Spike said calmly.

"Like hell you are!" Buffy spat, pulling with all of the strength
against her bonds.

"It's for your own good, Buffy," Willow said softly. She arranged all
of the things she would need for the spell, settling down in the
floor in front of Buffy's chair. Buffy kicked out at her, but Spike
wheeled the chair backward before her foot could make contact with
Willow's face. "Giles, I'm gonna need you to help me out," the
redhead said.

"Yes, of course," Giles said. He took the heavy tome that Willow
offered and pushed his glasses up further onto his nose. "Quod
perditum est, invenietur," he began in a loud, steady voice.

"Not dead, nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum, I
call," Willow chanted "Gods, bind him, cast his heart from the demon
realm return his soul. Let him know the pain of humanity, gods reach
your wizened hands to me, give me the soul of...of..." Suddenly,
Willow's head snapped back and her eyes became black like pools of
black ink. A strange, otherworldy voice tore from her throat,
speaking a language that none of them knew. "Te implor Doamne, nu
ignora accasta rugaminte! Lasa orbita
sa fie vasul care-I va transporta sufletul la el! Este scris, aceasta
putere este dreptul poporuil meu
de a conduce..." The orb began to glow then and a scream was ripped
from Buffy as her eyes began to glow also. It was clear that the
spell was working.

Then something unexpected happened. The orb began to glow brighter
and brighter until it became blinding. Willow had to shade her eyes
in order to be able to even look at it, but when she did she found
that the orb was levitating, rising higher and higher towards the
ceiling. The orb began to make a strange humming sound before it
exploded, shattering into a million tiny pieces. Shards of glass
showered down on all of them for a few moments as they all laid in
the floor, knocked off of their feet by the force of the explosion.

Everyone slowly began to pick themselves up and dust themselves off,
taking care not to cut themselves on the glass. "Wow, that was really
intense," Willow said weakly, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I
don't know what happened. I mean, that didn't happen before..."
Suddenly, they heard a loud groan coming from across the room. "Oh my
god! Spike!" Willow said, rushing over to where he laid, slumped
against the wall. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Spike looked at her blankly for a moment before pushing her away and
pressing himself up against the wall, whimpering softly. "I'm
sorry...so sorry," Spike whispered, tears leaking from the corners of
his eyes. "Sorry for all of them...can you see them? They are here
right now, just like I left them, torn to pieces, mutilated, but no
blood. No...no blood. It's all gone, you see. I took it from them. No
sparkle or shine either. No life. Took that, too." He grabbed her by
the arms, shaking her hard. "Do you see them? Help me! Help me? But I
don't deserve it, do I? I don't deserve forgiveness," he sobbed,
clawing at his chest. The fabric ripped and tore as he tried to free
himself of it. Willow watched in horror as the shirt was quickly
shredded, but yet he still clawed, this time at himself, at his
flesh. "I need it out," he gasped painfully.

"Oh my god..." she said slowly.

"What is he doing?" Xander asked anxiously.

"He's trying to tear it out," she said quietly.

"What? Tear what out?"

"His soul."

"But how...?"

"When I did the spell, it was meant for Buffy, but it must have
worked on Spike, too," she said, reaching out and gently taking
Spike's hands in hers, restraining him from hurting himself any more.

"What if it didn't work on Buffy at all?" Xander asked. Everyone
exchanged nervous looks. "Well, I guess there's only one way to find
out." He walked over to Buffy's chair, reaching out a hand to touch
her when Spike started screaming. Xander immediately jerked his hand
back and stared at him.

"No! NO! Don't touch her. Don't touch her, don't touch her. Leave her
alone. You are hurting her! She is hurting," he screamed in
anguish. "Let me." Willow tried to hold him back, but he batted her
away. "Let me, let me," he insisted, crawling across the floor to her
chair. He waved Xander away and then sat back on his heels,
tentatively reaching out to Buffy. He gently hooked his index finger
under her chin and tilted her head up so that he could see her face.
Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and he could feel her body
shaking as she cried silently. He put his arms around her, resting
his head against her chest.

"Did the spell work on her, too?" Willow asked Spike gently.

"Are you blind?" he asked. "Can't you see it? Can't you see it shine
inside of her?"

"So I guess that is a big yes?" Xander said uncertainly.

"I would think so," Giles said, looking on as Spike continued to
cling to Buffy, whispering words they could not hear to her. "I think
that it would be safe to untie her now." He walked cautiously over to
Buffy and Spike, taking out a pocketknife. Spike watched him closely
as he gently cut the clothes line that bound Buffy to the chair. He
closed the knife and put it back in his pocket, moving to pick Buffy
up and carry her to the couch.

"Don't touch her," Spike said loudly. "Don't touch her, don't touch
her." He stood up and gently lifted Buffy into his arms, carrying her
over and laying her down gently on the couch. Then he sat down in the
floor in front of the couch like a guard dog.

"I think Bleach Boy has completely lost it," Xander commented. "You
don't think he's dangerous or anything do you?"

"It does seem that getting his soul back has made Spike a little
insane," Giles admitted. "Of course, that is completely
understandable, really. All of the horrible things that he has done
over the past century or more is now crashing down on him. I'm sure
that Angel reacted in much the same way. However, I do not feel that
he will be of any danger to us. I think that he is just being
protective of Buffy because he realizes she is going through the same
thing. Of course, the murders she have committed are not as numerous,
but the guilt is just as heavy."

"Well, it doesn't look like either of them are in any condition to
fight if Angelus decides to make an appearance," Wesley said
anxiously.

"How right you are, Wes," a sinister voice said from behind
them. "Doesn't look like those two are going to be of any help to you
at all. Guess you are just gonna have to die," Angelus said with a
smug smile, stepping out of the shadows of the kitchen and into view.