The woman needed to rest, to sleep. Before closing her eyes, she turned her head so that she could see through the window of her bedroom. Two men could be seen outside. She knew they were on the porch which ran the entire distance across the front of the house. One of them was her husband, the other his brother. They were talking, she supposed about the baby boy born less than two hours earlier. Her husband was so happy to have a son. When he first saw his child shortly after the delivery, he boasted that the baby would bring them good luck. She hoped it was true, because they would need it.

Not able to rest, the woman again raised up to peer at her new son. "Your father is right, sweet baby, you will bring us good luck. I can see that you look like him. You are a miniature Travis Radford."

The baby fussed a bit and the woman leaned over his crib. He did, indeed, look like her husband, but there was something else, an expression-------what?

Chapter 1

The blaze was dying out in the fireplace and still Jarrod Barkley remained in his chair staring at it. This was the most peaceful time of the day for Jarrod. Other family members were in bed and he was left alone to contemplate the events of the day, events of his life to date. Tonight, though, he wished he could go on to bed, go to sleep. He did not want to contemplate anything at all this quiet evening, not the past or the future.

Jarrod knew his mother and brothers felt the same as he did. All day they had avoided mentioning that it was the one year anniversary of a very traumatic event. One year. It surely didn’t seem possible, but it was. One year since they had seen Audra.

One year since her young beauty had graced this house. It had been a dreadful experience losing Audra. The worst of it was, of course, the uncertainty. When his father was killed, the family suffered terrible grief, but there was no uncertainty. Tom Barkley was dead, they buried his body, there was a finality to it. Audra, on the other hand, had just disappeared without a trace. There was no body to bury, no finality, no knowing for certain whether she was dead or alive.

I must go on to bed, Jarrod thought. Life goes on, has gone on. There is work in the office to do and I need my rest. Thinking thusly, the oldest Barkley son got up from his chair, but then he heard quiet footsteps approaching. He turned to the stairway and saw his mother coming down. He remained standing, waiting for her.

"Mother, I was just about ready to go up."

"Go ahead, Dear, I won’t keep you. I’m just a bit restless tonight."

Jarrod watched as Victoria Barkley came to stand next to him. She was so small, she might be considered by someone who didn’t know her as frail. She wasn’t frail. In fact, she was one tough lady, although this past year had been hard on her, had aged her.

"Would you like to talk, Mother?" Jarrod asked.

"I was about to ask you the same question, Jarrod. We’ve gone through this entire day and not one word has been said about what we are all thinking about. I don’t necessarily believe that to be a good thing."

"Sit down then," Jarrod sighed, not really looking forward to the conversation, but taking a seat again himself. "To be honest, I haven’t felt up to talking about Audra."

Victoria, dressed in a frilly pink robe, looked at her oldest son warmly. "Jarrod, you are feeling guilty. It’s written all over your face. You must not do this to yourself any longer."

His mother, as she so often did, had read his mind. "I can’t help but feel guilty. I am guilty. Audra was my responsibility that day."

Bristling, Victoria said, "Your sister was twenty one years old, Jarrod. She was not your responsibilty."

"Even so, I should have gone to look for her sooner, maybe----" She reached across the distance from her chair to his and gripped his arm firmly. "Jarrod, we must put this behind us. No one on earth misses that dear girl more than me, but she’s gone, has been for a year. She disappeared without a trace. Now, we know Audra would have come home or contacted us if at all possible. Therefore, we must assume that your sister is dead. As dead as your father. And we must go on. No more guilt, Jarrod. The mourning period is over. We searched, we mourned, and now we must move on. So, tomorrow morning, I want to see a different Jarrod at the breakfast table."

The two men resembled enough that no one would doubt that they were brothers. And they were brothers. The physical traits they shared were light brown hair, green eyes, a tendency to be slim, and nice straight white teeth. Travis Radford and his older by three years brother James were much alike in temperament as well. They both had a nasty streak in them which had caused misery for those with whom they came in contact. There were differences between the Radford brothers. James was more persistent about obtaining the things he wanted out of life, more persistent in going after the goals he set for himself. Travis was the more thoughtful, the one less likely to pursue something without thinking through the process carefully. This difference was causing an argument between them this morning. It was an argument they had participated in before, only this time James was more adamant. The time, he told his brother, had come. The time to set in motion their plan.

"We have to wait a while longer, Jamie," Travis insisted. He was twenty eight years old, but still in the clutches of his older brother most of the time when it came to something as important as they were now discussing.

"No, Travis, the baby has been born. It’s time to move on our plan," James said. "By the way, how is the baby? Not sickly, is he? And Bonnie, how’s she doin’ this mornin’?"

Travis turned a cold eye on his brother. "That would be a disaster for you, wouldn’t it, Jamie? To have a sick baby or woman on our hands?"

"Yes, it would be a disaster! We’ve worked hard to set this up. A fortune is within our grasp, Travis! I can almost taste it!"

Travis averted his eyes. He knew this time would come. They had worked toward it since that day a year ago when they grabbed the girl from the livery stable in Stockton. Never dreaming they could get by with it, he’d lived in fear for a long time. "Yes, you can taste it," he spat at his brother. "But I was just beginning to be happy with things as they are."

This kind of talk angered James Radford. "Well, I won’t be happy until we have the Barkley fortune in our hands, Travis! And now that Bonnie has produced an heir to the throne, we can move."

"You really think we can get by with this, Jamie! Those people are still looking for her. She’s not Bonnie to them, but Audra Barkley. They’ll take her back, they’ll take my son, they’ll---"

James grabbed his brother by the front of his shirt and yanked him toward him. "Now you listen to me. We took that woman for a purpose and we’re gonna follow through on that purpose. The Barkleys won’t be takin’ her back, ‘cause if they try, we’ll kill them."

She felt the need to comb her hair, to clean herself up a bit. The woman who had helped with the birth was gone for a while, saying she’d be back later in the day. Bonnie Radford didn’t mind being alone with her son. She was feeling much better, actually feeling like she could handle whatever might arise with the baby. And, of course, Travis was close by at the barn in case she needed him. Bonnie smiled. How lucky she was, really. A good husband, and now, a beautiful baby son. It was almost time to nurse the infant, so Bonnie laid down her comb and picked him up and cradled him in her arms. Again, she gazed at him. The resemblance to Travis was quite striking, but there was still that little something different, something she couldn’t put her finger on. Several times today, she’d looked in the mirror at her own image. Not that she didn’t know what she looked like, but that she was searching to see if that something she couldn’t put her finger on was that the baby looked like her as well as his father.

"You do, you know," she said to her son. "Little Travis Radford, Jr., you do look like your Momma. That’s who I see in you. Myself. No one else. I couldn’t see anyone else, because---"

She stopped speaking and, sitting down in a rocking chair, she prepared to nurse. She didn’t want to feel sad now, and the thoughts she was having, thoughts she’d had many times before, always made her feel sad. Not only sad, but confused. No, she didn’t want to feel that way now.

So what if she couldn’t remember anything before a year ago? Travis had told her all she needed to know. She had many pleasant memories from the past year and now, with this precious baby born to her, she would build a lifetime of memories.

Travis peered through the bedroom window from the front porch. The house was delapidated. It needed paint and many other improvements. It was a roof over their heads, though, and they had been lucky to find it. An abandoned house, just when they needed it the most. And when Bonnie came around from her head injury, they, Jamie and himself, told her a made up story, one that she seemed to find believable. Lucky again. How much longer could his luck hold out? Travis wondered. If Jamie kept pushing this, and he would, how much longer could he keep his family together and safe?

Yes, Travis thought of the woman he called Bonnie and the baby she had given birth to yesterday as his family. If he had his way, the plan would be abandoned. They would not attempt to blackmail one of the most powerful families in California. Bonnie would never be told she was really Audra Barkley, and that she had been taken from a livery stable unconscious after she had suffered a head injury when one of the horses in the stable kicked her.

After a full year, Bonnie remembered nothing of her past. Travis didn’t believe she ever would. Why not leave it alone? Why not go straight? Why not forget the plan that Jamie was so set on? They were safe in a territory where no one knew them before, a place where they could live out their lives as small farmers, as the Radford family, Travis, Bonnie, and Travis Jr. Yes, that’s what they should do. But, how would he ever convince Jamie to forsake the plan?

The breakfast table at the Barkley home was not the same as it once was. Oh, Silas served as huge a spread as ever, and all family members living in the house usually made an appearance. But it was different. The change came on that horrible day when Audra disappeared. Breakfast now was only that. A time to take nourishment. Not a time to have an enjoyable verbal exchange, not a time to share with the family anything about your life, either past or present.

There did seem to be a small change this morning, however, and it was a change puzzling to both Nick and Heath Barkley. Their brother Jarrod was different today, so different they were exchanging troubled glances about it. "Well, family," Jarrod had said a few minutes earlier. "Beautiful day, isn’t it? A day to enjoy the wonderful climate we are blessed with, a day to go fishing or hunting or just sit and marvel at how good it is to be alive."

Nick had stared at his beloved older sibling for a moment. He had tried to contain himself, tried not to make a scene. After all, Jarrod was correct. It was a nice day, and all the things he had proposed one might do had sounded enjoyable. Still, the tall man with dark hair could not keep from commenting. "Jarrod, what’s got into you this mornin’?"

Jarrod was quick to answer. "Gotten into me, Nick? Why, nothing, nothing at all. Just suggesting things to do on a nice day, that’s all."

"Cut it out, Jarrod!"

Everyone at the table jumped. It wasn’t Nick who had spoken so sharply, but Heath. They all looked his direction now and all pretense of eating came to a halt.

Victoria had something to say to the young man who wasn’t her son by birth, but whom she loved as though he was. "Heath, take it easy. Don’t blame Jarrod. He’s only doing as I requested."

"As you requested, Mother?" Nick said. "You suggested that he make small talk about the nice weather?"

"I’m sorry, Mother," Heath took it up. "but I think talkin’ about what a nice day it is sounds down right stupid. I think I’ll just go on out to work."

With that, Heath threw his napkin on the table and pushed back his chair. Victoria held up her hand to stop him. "Heath, Dear, please. What I meant was that I asked Jarrod to get over his morose about Audra, to give up feeling guilty, to help turn this house back into a home instead of a funeral parlor."

Her three sons were taken aback by Victoria’s tone. They shot glances at each other, but kept them brief, and then they all returned their gaze to her. Nick was the first to react verbally. "Mother, that’s all well and good, but we can’t be forced to get over what happened by talkin’ about the weather."

‘No, of course not," Victoria agreed. "But we’ve grieved far long enough----"

"I won’t listen to this!" Heath exclaimed. "Jarrod has a right to grieve. In fact, he should grieve, and he should grieve for the rest of his life, because it was his fault what happened to Audra!"

"That will do, Heath!" Victoria scolded.

"Yea, it sure will," Nick agreed, getting to his feet. "Heath, how dare you! You know it wasn’t Jarrod’s fault."

"It was, Nick," Heath said.

Jarrod joined the conversation. "Heath’s right. We all know it. I certainly do. If I would have checked on her---"

"If! If! If!" Nick bellowed. "We’ve been over all the ifs, Jarrod!"

"Yes, we have," Victoria told them. "We’ve been over everything more than once. It happened. We may never know the how or why of it. Now, this conversation we’re having is long overdue."

Again, her sons were struck speechless by Victoria’s words. Jarrod was the first to recover this time. "Overdue, Mother? Only last night you said, and you’ve repeated this morning, how you wished us to get past this, to put Audra’s disappearance behind us---"

"I only used that as a way to get all of you riled up. I knew if you acted differently this morning, the others would take offense, and then we could really talk about what is on our minds. Stop dancing around it. Now-----"

"Very clever, Mother," Nick said, a small grin on his face. "Don’t you fellas think so?"

"Mother is known by all to be a clever woman," Jarrod said, looking somewhat peeved. "I don’t see how it will change anything to talk about it," Heath said, frowning.

"It won’t change anything, Dear," Victoria said. "But it will clear the air."

"I don’t see how we can clear the air until we either find Audra or find------" Nick began.

"The evidence that proves she’s dead," Jarrod finished for his brother.

"We looked and looked, covered a lot of territory at the time," Heath stated. "If we didn’t find her when the trail was fresh, I don’t know how we can now that it’s cold."

"Because we’re Barkleys," said Victoria sternly. "Because we’re Barkleys."

Bonnie, despite not really wanting to be, found herself preoccupied with who it was her newborn looked like. She caught herself staring into the mirror on her ancient dresser, the dresser that, along with a few other pieces of furniture, had been left behind by whoever abandoned the house she now called home. Something told her Travis would not be pleased with this preoccupation, so she did not mention it to him, and tried not to look in the mirror when he was in the house.

This afternoon both Travis and James were outside, and so she took the time to study her image once again. The baby would be awake and wanting to be fed shortly.

There was something in her own face now that seemed to remind her of someone else. But who? Was her memory returning? Bonnie hoped so. Although, according to Travis, she had no family and no one in particular to remember, there had to be places and events, people even, that she’d known before the accident.

She would like to recall everything. Perhaps then, the void she felt so painfully would be filled. It was surprising to Bonnie how different she felt since the birth of Travis Jr. Before, she had been willing to accept her fate, accept the fact that she’d been kicked in the head by a horse on the cross country trip she’d been on with her husband and brother-in-law. They had left their home in Arizona, Travis had told her, to travel to California. On the way, the accident had happened. She had been unconscious for several days, and when she came around, she had no memory.

According to Travis, they had been married two years at the time they departed Arizona. James was the only family he had, and she had been an orphan. Still, Bonnie thought now, she wished she could remember her years in the orphanage, remember how she met and fell in love with Travis. Their son would have to rely on his father to fill in the blanks.

Having accepted all of this as fact, Bonnie wondered why now, since the baby was born, the need to know weighed so much heavier on her mind. She stared in the mirror again. There was something about her hair that troubled her, and she realized it had since she’d regained consciousness. It was short. She kept it cropped because Travis said that was the way she’d always worn it, but it didn’t look right to her. She could very easily picture her blond locks long and flowing. Why? Had she ever worn it that way?

Lost in thought, she didn’t hear Travis enter the house. She only realized he was there when his image appeared in the mirror behind hers. "Oh, Travis," she said, "I didn’t hear you come in."

"I thought you’d be feeding the baby," he said. "I thought I would keep you company while you did."

She smiled. It didn’t sound like he was angry at her for looking in the mirror. She loved her husband, she really did. And because she loved him, she felt there was all the more reason to remember their earlier time together, to remember how she felt when she first met him, how she felt when she fell in love with him. "I was just about to do that," she told him.

She walked over to the crib and picked up her son. He was so warm and sweet. The feel of him reminded her of----she didn’t know what, but supposed it was only good feelings she’d had before about things she could not recall. "He’s such a hungry little boy all of the time," she said to Travis as she set down in the rocking chair. "I wonder how big he’ll grow to be?"

Travis, who was nearly six feet tall himself, said quickly, "About my size, I’ll bet. Maybe, like his uncle James, he’ll be a might taller than me."

Bonnie nodded and then said something she immediately wished she had not. "Perhaps there is someone in my family who is tall, maybe even taller than you, and little Travis will take after him."

Travis Sr. exploded. "I doubt that, Bonnie, and besides, there’s no need talkin’ about it, since we’ll never know. You’re an orphan."

"Yes, so you’ve said, but----"

"But what, Bonnie?" her husband continued, still sounding angry. "Listen, you’re gonna have to forget about wonderin’ who your family was and what they were like, and----"

Tears came to her eyes as she interrupted, "Yes, forget about my family, forget about my life up until a year ago, just forget! Well, I’m not sure I can, Travis. I’ve been having this feeling since the baby was born."

Travis Radford was growing alarmed. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Bonnie could not regain her memory! No matter which way he decided to go, she could not regain her memory. If he decided to buck Jamie and keep her and the baby away from the Barkleys forever, it would never do for her to remember anything of her past. If she did, she would not for a minute live like they were living, dirt poor and isolated from society. If he decided to go along with Jamie, it would not do for her to remember her past, for the plan depended upon it. "It’s just because you’re tired, Bonnie," he said to her. "You had a hard time birthin’ the boy."

She nodded. "Maybe that’s it, but I’m not sure. I really believe things are trying to get through the block, you know, trying to come back into my head."

He wanted to scream at her to forget about it all, but he did not want to give her a reason to doubt him. "Bonnie, you love me, don’t you?"

She cast adoring eyes on him. "Oh Travis, of course I do! But, see, that’s one of the reasons I want to remember. If only I could recall my meeting with you, the way I felt in the beginning, our wedding day."

Panicky inside, he said, "But that’s why we had the second wedding, so that you could remember a wedding day, even if it wasn’t the first."

"I know," she murmered. "I know, Travis. And I am happy, believe me, I am."

James Radford stood just outside the door of the house, well within hearing distance of the conversation going on inside. What he heard was not to his liking, not to his liking at all. Everything would fall apart if Bonnie began to remember her past. It would be fine with James, just fine, if she remembered who she was and where she came from after they got the money from the Barkleys, but until then----No, she must not remember.

It was time to move. Hadn’t he told Travis so this morning? His younger brother was being mighty slow to agree. James was beginning to wonder if Travis wasn’t up to something. Well, that wouldn’t do. Brother or no brother, one way or another, James expected to be a very rich man and soon. He didn’t care who got hurt, or if people were killed in the process. Things like that had never bothered James Radford. He had lived a life of crime since he was ten years old.

Nothing more was said about reopening their search for Audra the rest of the day after the breakfast conversation. Likewise, nothing was mentioned the following morning at breakfast.

Later, on the range, Nick and Heath were working side by side. The older of the two could no longer stand not addressing the subject. He said to Heath, "So, how do think we should go about it?"

Heath looked up from checking the newly mended fence. "Go about what, Nick?"

"Don’t give me that, Heath!" Nick growled. "You know what I’m talkin’ about. This business about lookin’ for Audra again. We came to a decision yesterday, yet the subject has been dropped as far as I can tell."

Heath’s brow was wrinkled. "I suppose Mother thinks we’ll go ahead and do somethin’. As for me, I think it’s up to Jarrod. He knows more about what happened than any of us."

"Will you lay off of Jarrod. Just because she went to town with him don’t make him know anymore about where Sis disappeared to than the rest of us. She let him out at his office, then was supposed to take the horse and buckboard over to the stable. No one saw her there, and no one has seen her since."

"Yea, I remember all of that," Heath said quietly. "But it never made sense to me, Nick."

Nick glared at his brother. "What the devil are you sayin’, Heath? That Jarrod had somethin’ to do with her disappearin’?"

"I don’t like to think that, Nick, and I’ve tried my best not to. But people like Audra just don’t disappear without a trace. There’s always somebody who saw them, somebody who talked to them. There aint a single soul willin’ to say they saw Audra that day. It has never rang true with me."

Nick, obviously affected by Heath’s speech, took a long time to respond.

Finally, he did. "Now you listen to me, Heath Barkley. Jarrod loved that girl, and there wouldn’t be any reason in this world, none, that he would harm her or have her harmed. Do you hear me?"

"Yea, I hear you. I hear all of you, but you can’t make me think what you want me to think, Nick. And what I think is that Jarrod knows more than he ever said." Nick was left to stare after Heath, a troubled expression on his face.

Chapter 2

Work was piling up on Jarrod’s desk. He had two cases to prepare for trial in the next three weeks. Concentration had become an impossibility. Odd that he’d been able to function for an entire year. One would suppose that it would get easier and not more difficult. After the conversation at the breakfast table, all of his waking hours, and some of his sleeping hours, were taken up with thoughts of Audra and that day she disappeared.

If only Mother had been serious when she said they must forget, must move on. But she’d used that as a way to bring it all back, to rile up the family, especially Heath. What on earth am I going to do? Jarrod wondered.

Her strength returning now, Bonnie felt better about things. Her talk with Travis had reassured her. He was correct, of course. Why should she worry about her life before she lost her memory?

It would only make her miserable and upset her husband. Besides, there wasn’t much time to worry about the past. This young man who had come into her life, this beautiful baby boy, was taking up most of her time. What a joy he was! She could not keep from looking at him, even while he slept peacefully and did not need her attention.

"You are Momma’s pride and joy, little Travis," she said to the child now as he lay on his back. He had just opened his eyes and was obviously trying to focus on her.

"You won’t have an easy life. Your Daddy and Uncle James have to work hard for a living and Momma worked hard, too, until it was almost time for you to be born. You come from tough stock. The Radfords are workers and the Bar------"

Bonnie was startled. She had been about to say a name, perhaps. A name which had once been hers? Travis had told her she did not know her birth name, so it surely couldn’t be that. What was it, then? A name from her orphanage days? She would have to ask Travis if he’d ever heard her mention a name which began like that.

"I tell you, Jamie, Bonnie is not ready to travel," Travis Radford told his brother while they worked together in the field. It was a very small farm in north central California and when they had come upon the abandoned house, they had been told by the authorities in charge of such things in the nearest town that there were fifty acres of not so good farm land that went with the house. It belonged to the county and they could buy it if they had the money for a down payment.

It just so happened that they did, because James and Travis had robbed a bank in Arizona nearly a year earlier. They had not spent the money immediately, but decided to chance it to buy the farm.

"We can’t wait much longer, Travis," Jamie responded. "That woman in there is liable to recover her memory on us. That would ruin everything."

"Yea, but it might make the baby sick. That would sure ruin everything. The baby is our ace in the hole, right, Jamie? The baby is what makes it all possible. Let’s wait a while and----"

James lost his temper. "You’ll just think of some other excuse then, Travis! You’re up to somethin’, I just know it! What is it? Don’t lie to me!"

"Alright, I’ll tell you the truth!" Travis exclaimed. "I want Bonnie for myself, Bonnie and the baby. I don’t want to take her back to the Barkleys. I don’t want to take the chance they’ll take her away from me!"

James sneered. "I thought so, but it’s not gonna happen that way. I won’t allow it. We’ve had this planned out for a long time, Travis. Besides, you might just get to keep her anyway. She loves you, don’t she?"

"She says she does."

"So, she won’t remember them folks. She’ll be on our side. We’ll get the money and go. She won’t wanta stay with ‘em."

"But what if she remembers them when she sees their faces?" Travis whined. "Then, she’ll wanta stay, and she’ll not help us get the money, either."

"That’s why we need to hurry, brother," James said. "That’s why we can’t delay. Now, go in there and tell Bonnie we’re takin’ a trip."

Jarrod did not return home that night, but remained in his office instead. Facing the family after the thoughts he’d had all day was not possible. And Heath would not let up on him, he felt certain of it. The young man who had come to live with them as an adult seemed to have an uncanny way of seeing through his family members. Perhaps it was because he didn’t automatically trust them as individuals, but instead, with each new situation, required them to prove themselves.

Well, Jarrod thought, as he set in his dark office late that night, he’s right not to trust me. I do know more than I’ve told the others, more than I ever told the authorities. And I didn’t tell them for the purpose of protecting myself.

Travis delayed following his brother’s orders until the following morning. No need, he told James, to upset her so late at night. Jamie had reluctantly agreed, but he was agitated and Travis knew how nasty the other man could get. And so, as soon as James left the house after breakfast, and Bonnie was tending to the little one, the time seemed right. Oh, not right, the right time would never come, but Travis knew he had to get on with it.

Standing next to Bonnie as she changed his son’s diaper, Travis said, "Bonnie, we’re gonna be takin’ a trip. You’ll need to gather your things and the baby’s together and get ready to go."

Her hand halted in mid-air and she turned to him. "Takin’ a trip? Where to, Travis? And why? The baby is so tiny and I’m----"

"I’m sorry, Bonnie, but we have to go South a ways to see some people. You’ll be all right and so will Travis Jr. I’ll see to that."

"What people, Travis?" She probed. "Can’t it wait until the baby is older? Or, can’t you and Jamie go without me? I’ll be all right here. Is there some kind of trouble? Travis, tell me!"

Uncomfortable with her questions, he was sharp with her. "Just do as I say, Bonnie! It won’t take long!"

"But why? Are we losing the place, Travis? Is that it, and you and Jamie think you’ve found someplace else for us to live? Is that it? Are we moving on?"

It might be, Travis thought, an easy way out, a way to get her off his back and to make the trip without a fuss. "I didn’t wanta tell you, Bonnie, but you’ve guessed it."

"But I thought we were doing fine," she persisted. "You and Jamie both said so. I thought we were set here for a long time."

"Look, Bonnie, if you’ll just go along with us, we will be set, set for life. Jamie and I, well, we know a place where we can come by a lot of money down south. And it just could be, we’ll come back here to live out our lives. If that’s what you want after we get the money, then that’s what we’ll do."

"But I don’t understand," she said, tears coming to her eyes. "Where could you be getting any money from people? Are they people you and Jamie know?"

"No, we don’t know them, but we’ve heard about them."

She finished diapering the baby without speaking further. He waited. He knew this wouldn’t be easy. Damn Jamie! Why couldn’t he just leave it alone! When she was finished she turned to him again. "Travis, I can’t take the baby far. It would be hard on such a little one. I’m going to stay here."

"Bonnie, we need you with us," he said, trying to remain calm.

"Well , I’m sorry. Besides, it makes no sense, unless----"

"Unless what?"

"Unless these people are from my past. Is that it, Travis? Are you and Jamie going to try to get money from someone from my past? Who is it? Is it someone I knew before I lost my memory? Someone from the orphanage, or a friend I made after that? Travis?"

Several times during the morning, Jarrod caught himself staring into space. There was no use trying to work, he decided. Might as well give it up for the day. And do what, though? Go home?

No, he didn’t want to do that. Mother, and probably Nick and Heath, if they were around, would pounce on him, ask him why he hadn’t come home last night, ask him if it had to do with the dicussion they had about Audra. He supposed he could take a buggy ride, get out in the country away from everything and everyone. Yes, that’s what he would do.

No more had the decision been made, than the Barkley attorney got up from his desk and reached to retrieve his hat. Then, his office door opened and someone entered Jarrod did not care to talk to. "Nick, what brings you to town?"

Nick Barkley stood glaring at his older brother. His tone was harsh when he addressed the question put to him. "Not what, Jarrod, but who? And the answer is you. I came to talk to you."

"Well, brother Nick, I always enjoy conversing with you, especially when you are in good humor, but I fear you’re not all that happy at the moment. Is something wrong?"

"You tell me, Jarrod," Nick said, hands on hips, brow wrinkled. "There’s nothing wrong that I know of," Jarrod began, "But if----"

"Why didn’t you come home last night?" Nick cut in. Jarrod smiled a bit. "Now, Nick, you know I’m a big boy now, and like yourself on occasion, I like to hang around town, you know, socialize with the ladies----"

"Jarrod, I don’t have time for this prattle! I took off from workin’ with the bronc busters to come in here and find out what the hell is goin’ on with you, and I want to get to the point!"

"It’s you who should get to the point, Nick!" Jarrod blasted. "I have work to do myself. Now, what’s on your mind!"

"Alright, Jarrod, I’ll tell you what’s on my mind. I want to know what you’re hidin’."

"I didn’t realize I was hiding anything," Jarrod stalled, but he realized they were fast approaching the point of no return. Nick would not let up on him. Aside from ordering his brother out of his office, there was nothing to do but discuss that day when Audra disappeared.

"Heath thinks you are," Nick said. "He thinks you know more than you’ve said about Audra."

"And you believe him?"

"I don’t want to, Jarrod, you know that, but Heath---well-----"

"Well, what?"

"The fella just seems to know things sometimes," Nick shrugged. "Jarrod, if you can look me straight in the eye now and tell me Heath’s wrong, then I’ll take your word for it. Can you do that?"

It would be so easy, Jarrod thought, to do what Nick asked. After all, he was accustomed to looking at people without blinking. His profession called for it. He usually didn’t lie exactly, but knew how to bend the truth until it couldn’t be bent anymore and not be called an untruth. What should he do? Perhaps, this was the time to tell all, and, perhaps, this was the best person to tell. "I can’t do that, Nick. I’m afraid I can’t do that."

The startled expression which crossed Nick’s face caused Jarrod to turn away, to avoid eye contact with his brother for several seconds. Neither said anything during that time, but finally the younger man spoke, this time very softly. "I didn’t want to believe it. All along you’ve known and----"

"I don’t know where she is, Nick!" Jarrod interrupted before his brother could continue. "All I’m saying is that I know more than I’ve previously told anyone."

"But why?" Nick inquired, the pain he was feeling evident in his voice. "What reason could you have for not telling what you know? Were you threatened by someone? Is that it, Jarrod? Were you such a coward, you put yourself ahead of Audra? If that’s true, I swear I’ll---"

"No, that’s not it. You know I wouldn’t do that."

"Then what have you done? And what have you kept from us all of this time? And why, Jarrod, why?"

Jarrod drew a deep breath. Nick was getting riled and when that happened, the fellow often lost his sense of reason. This was no time to allow that to occur. "Nick, please, sit down. I’ll tell you, but only if we can speak rationally."

Nick exhaled as deep a breath as his brother had just drawn. "Fine, fine. I’ll listen, but----"

"Sit down, Nick," Jarrod repeated.

Once both he and his brother were seated, Jarrod wished he had not said as much as he had. There would be no turning back now. Nick would demand to know everything. The large fellow Jarrod loved dearly had already begun to fidget. He wasn’t one much for sitting still, Nick wasn’t. He was a restless man, always looking for something to do. No doubt he would be up and pacing shortly, especially when he heard what Jarrod had to say. "I had a reason for not checking on Audra that day."

"And that was?"

"Well, she was different somehow. I noticed it on the way into town."

"Different?" Nick growled impatiently. "In what way?"

"Oh, more, uh, well, I suppose you could say romantic. She talked all the way in. Some of the time, she laid her hand on my arm and talked of how she hoped to marry, have children, how she hoped to enjoy many more such days with someone she loved. It was a lovely day, if you remember?"

"No, Jarrod, I remember it as a day straight out of hell. It was the day my sister disappeared. Now, what has all this romantic talk have to do with it? Audra was always talkin’ like that, if I recall."

Jarrod nodded. "She was, but the talk was more intense that day, Nick. I recall thinking that she may have met someone special."

"We would have known it if she had, don’t you think? I mean, Audra didn’t get around that much. One of us, Mother probably, would have known."

"I thought as you do, but when I saw----"

"When you saw what?" Nick prodded.

"As I’ve told you before, I got out at my office and Audra went on to the livery stable---"

"Wait a minute! You’ve always said you had no way of knowin’ if she actually went to the stable, and no one saw her there. Just then, you said she went on to the livery stable."

"I lied about that, Nick. I saw her go in," Jarrod confessed. "I was worried about the horse. It was a bit rowdy, and so I watched to make sure Audra got there alright."

Nick then did what Jarrod had silently predicted. He got up from the chair and began pacing the room. "Go on, Jarrod."

"I watched her go in and just as I was turning to enter my office, I saw a man walk into the stable."

"So? Who was it?"

"I didn’t recognize him," Jarrod replied. " but I only saw him from the back."

Nick set down again and then was immediately back in a standing position. "And you kept this to yourself? Why, Jarrod?"

"Because, Nick, when Audra couldn’t be found, I thought she had run away with the man, that she had run away to be married, or to just be with a lover. I thought that she would turn up at the front door again soon, either with the man or alone."

At first, Nick appeared to be on the verge of grinning. Then, his expression changed completely. "Jarrod, that’s crazy, just plain crazy. Surely you didn’t keep the fact that you saw a man enter the livery stable just after Audra to yourself because you chose to think she had deliberately run away from home, away from her family, to be with the fellow."

"Yes, Nick, I did. And I don’t know to this day if that is what happened. It just could be that Audra is living happily ever after somewhere, that she doesn’t want us to find her, that---"

"Stop it, Jarrod! You are just makin’ excuses for yourself! I can’t believe you could be that stupid! How could you have been!"

"Because I’m a human being, Nick, and not a perfect one by any means!" Jarrod shot back at his brother. "And I’ve suffered because of it, believe me, I’ve suffered."

"You’ve suffered! I don’t believe this! You didn’t say a word to the Sheriff, to us, to anyone, didn’t give a description----"

"Damn it, Nick, I don’t have a description!"

"If you saw----"

"I saw his back, the back of his head. I don’t believe I’d ever seen him before, but I can’t be sure. All I could have told the Sheriff is that I saw a man with light brownish hair, rather long hair, a man who stood about six foot tall perhaps. How many men fit that description, Nick?"

"Hundreds, thousands," Nick mumbled.

"That’s correct. Of course----"

"What?"

"Of course, I would know him if I saw him again."

Nick fixed his gaze on Jarrod. "Well, then, he must have had something distinguishable about him. You should have told the Sheriff, told the family----"

"No, no, nothing different from anyone else. I would just recognize him, that’s all. If I ever see that man from the back again, I’ll know him."

"Then why didn’t you search for him!"

"I did, Nick. In all of our searching, I looked for that back. I never found it."

"But you didn’t say anything," Nick went on. "Didn’t tell Mother, tell all of us, that Audra might not have been abducted, that she might have gone willingly."

"No, I didn’t," Jarrod whispered. "And I’m sorry."

Nick fidgeted, took his hat off and then put it back on, then said, "Well, I don’t suppose It would have helped find her if you had told what you saw. No one in town admitted to seeing a stranger, and no young man from around here that Audra knew is missing, so, I guess your information wouldn’t have helped find her."

"No, I don’t think it would have made any difference."

"Then don’t punish yourself anymore, Jarrod."

Unexpected tears came to Jarrod’s eyes. "Don’t go easy on me, Nick. I deserve the worst."

Nick favored his brother with a small smile. "Mother and Heath will not be easy on you, Jarrod. And it’s time you went home and told them."

She would stand her ground. Bonnie did not realize it herself, but she had developed the instinct all mother’s have, the instinct to protect their young. She would not subject her baby to the punishment of a trip while he was so young and vulnerable. She would not give in to Travis’ pleadings.

Her husband had gone out now, she supposed to talk to his brother. There had been something different about Travis today, causing her to feel an ill will toward him she’d never felt before, causing her to wonder about their time together before she lost her memory. He had a very rough edge to him when he attempted to force her to make the trip south. And who, she wondered, were the people Travis and James intended to get money from? He would not tell her. With a sense of foreboding, she stood at the window and looked out at the barn where she knew her husband and his brother were talking.

Chapter 3

Inside the old barn on the Radford farm, Travis and James were engaged in a conversation which, although only just begun, had already turned nasty. After his talk with Bonnie, Travis had come to tell his brother there was to be no trip South to pay a visit to the mighty Barkleys. Or, at least, to make it known that Bonnie had refused to go. James’ reaction to the news was less than pleasant.

"Travis, we are gonna go to Stockton and Bonnie and that kid are goin’ along. I aint givin’ up on this just because that woman says she won’t cooperate. What’s gotten into you? When we found out who she was when we dragged her along with us from that stable, when we saw those posters tellin’ she was a Barkley, you were as happy as me. Why go soft now, Travis?"

"That was before I---before I knew I loved her, Jamie. She’s Bonnie to me, my wife, and we have a son. I don’t care anymore that she’s a Barkley. Don’t want their money. We’ll get by."

Jamie’s temper flared. "Get by! Sure, maybe you can get by! Maybe you wanta sweat day and night tryin’ to work this old farm. But I don’t, never had any intention of doin’ that. After we get the money, you can do whatever you want, but ‘till then, you’re gonna go along with the plan."

Travis hated going against his brother’s wishes. They had been on their own since they were very young, having been abandoned by their parents. If not for James, the younger man would not have survived. "Look, Jamie, the plan is full of holes anyway. It won’t work. We’ll end up in jail, and Bonnie and the boy will be lost to me, even if she did decide to stay with me. Think about it. People like them folks, like the Barkleys, they won’t be blackmailed as easy as some others we’ve done it to. They have power."

"It will work, I tell you!" Jamie roared back. "They’ll be glad to give us the money, just to make sure she lives respectable. All you have to do is say you’ve married her, say you love her and intend to live out your life with her and raise the son she gave you."

"But they’ll see she don’t know who she really is, that she couldn’t have been married under her rightful name." Travis said. "They just might want to take her to a doctor, see what can be done to bring back her memory. They might not be so quick to just accept it."

"But, Travis, Bonnie loves you. She’ll tell ‘em that. They won’t want to upset her, and they won’t want anyone to know a Barkley heir was born out of wedlock."

"Maybe, but I don’t know, a daughter like her, maybe they won’t care as much as they would if it was the child of a son," Travis rationalized.

"You’re just lookin’ for trouble," James said. "They’ll give you a hunk of money, a fortune, Travis, just to keep their good name intact. When you have it, you give half to me, and then you and Bonnie go on together. If it don’t work out that way, you take off with me. They’ll never catch us, we’ll make sure of that. Now, light a fire under that woman, I wanta be on the road by tonight. If you don’t get her going, I will. It’s up to you."

Travis saw red. He could not allow Jamie, brother or no brother, to force Bonnie to go. He would try to talk to her one more time. If she wouldn’t budge, then he would have to stand up to James, something he’d never done in his life.

The baby was restless. Bonnie rocked him and sang a little song she’d learned----learned when?

She didn’t even know. The tune and the words just seemed to come to her naturally. Where had she learned it, and who had she learned it from? It didn’t really matter, she decided. She knew it and the baby seemed to find it soothing.

Travis had been in the barn a long time. She wondered if her husband and his brother were having an argument, an argument about her decision not to travel with them. The decision was still a correct one, she thought, even if it did cause trouble. Perhaps James would find somewhere else to live, or, perhaps he would go on this trip without either her or Travis. It would be fine with her if her brother-in-law never returned. She did not care much for him, although she had tried to like him for Travis’ sake.

Bonnie had not been able to put out of her mind what had been said about getting money from people down South. Who could they be? Why wouldn’t Travis say? She still had the feeling the people were from her past. Travis did not deny it when questioned. How close had she been to them? Maybe she should go along, maybe refusing to do so was a mistake. Maybe she would see someone or something which would jar her memory. No. No, not now. It was taking too much of a chance with a newborn. If only they would wait.

She hated to think it, but she felt like they, her husband and his brother, might be up to no good. If there were people who would give them money, why hadn’t she heard of them before, and why the pressure about it now? They had paid for the farm, and it was bringing in enough for them to live on. Travis’ footsteps could be heard on the porch. Bonnie braced herself. It just could be he would try once again to talk her into traveling. He came through the door.

For a moment, he gazed at her and the baby, and then he spoke. "Bonnie, James still thinks you should go along with us."

"And I said I can not go now," she responded. "Didn’t you tell him that?"

"Yea, but Jamie, well, he won’t take no for an answer on this, Bonnie."

She got up from the rocking chair and walked over to the cradle. The baby was asleep. She laid him gently and carefully in his bed, then turned to her husband. "Travis, you didn’t answer me before. Are those people you’re going to see someone from my past? Are they people I would know if I could remember things before the time of the accident?"

"I don’t know what’s put such an idea in your mind," he hedged. "Must be the strain of bein’ a momma."

"Then they’re not my people?"

He averted his eyes, then looked back at her. "No, Bonnie, not your people. And you don’t have to go. I won’t be going either. Jamie will just have to understand."

The hour was late and still the Barkleys, Victoria and her three sons, remained gathered around the fireside. Nick was restoking the fire because it seemed that the conversation they had been having was no nearer to ending that it had been the last time he made the gesture nearly an hour earlier. He listened to the heated exchange which was now taking place between Jarrod and Heath.

"All I want, Jarrod, is a reasonable explanation for why you would do such a thing," said Heath.

Jarrod, exhausted from not receiving the proper amount of sleep for two nights, answered testily, "Heath, I’ve tried to explain. The truth is there is no reasonable explanation. I thought the girl had taken off with the fellow I saw and I didn’t tell any of you that."

"But we searched and searched," Heath continued to speak, "And all the while you knew she was in no danger."

"Heath, I didn’t know that, and I still don’t. Don’t misunderstand, I know nothing other than what I’ve told you. It’s a possibility, that’s all I’m saying." Victoria had been quiet for a long time. "A possibility, Jarrod, but so unlike Audra, don’t you think?"

"I’ll say it’s unlike her," Heath mumbled.

Jarrod had known, when Nick suggested they make haste to tell their Mother and Heath about what he had seen the day Audra disappeared, that it wouldn’t be easy. And it had not been. Heath had been in high gear since hearing the story. But his mother was the one who worried Jarrod.

Her reaction was worrisome because it was so puzzling. Most of the time, she had allowed Heath to do the arguing, the cursing, while she remained quiet, much more quiet than was normal for Victoria Barkley. He attempted to answer her, because, even though Heath had replied, it was to him she had directed the question. "It’s unlike her, yes, but as I’ve said, she was different that day."

"Because she was spewing a bunch of romantic nonsense, you think she was different!" Heath again blasted through the stillness of the Barkley home.

"That will do, Heath!" Victoria ordered. "Now, we all know how you feel about this. You’ve made that very clear. Now, I’d like to have a sane discussion with Jarrod about it, if you don’t mind."

Heath colored a bit, but went to stand by the hearth, his back to his mother and brother. Jarrod then attempted to make Victoria understand how he’d felt that day. "I realize that taking off without telling us, and being gone a year without contacting us, is not like Audra at all. She wasn’t one to worry people, especially you, Mother. But, like I say, there was a different air about her that day on the ride into town."

"I think I know what Jarrod’s sayin’," Nick interjected. "Bein’ in love mighta changed her. I mean, well----"

"I don’t believe what I’m hearing!" Heath ranted, not able to remain quiet as he’d been asked. "You believe this is possible, Nick! Talk about someone changin’!"

Nick, obviously upset by Heath’s words, reacted typically, "Is that a fact, Heath! Well, I’m tryin’ to reason this out with the rest of you! That’s more than I can say for you!"

"Please!" Victoria demanded. "Please. Now, Jarrod, I’m wondering what you really think.

Down deep in your heart, can you imagine, now that you’ve had a year to think about it, that Audra ran away from home to be with a man she loved, let’s say, perhaps, a man she didn’t think we would approve of?"

All three men looked at her curiously. Jarrod replied. "Mother, I have the feeling you’re attempting to make a point."

"That’s no answer, Jarrod," Victoria said. "But yes, I suppose I am. Audra did not like to displease me, or anyone else. And she’d made, shall we say, a few errors in judgment about men. So, this time, when she met someone and fell in love with him----"

"She didn’t want to expose herself to what we would think if she’d made another mistake,"

Jarrod finished for her. Nick frowned. "Surely, Mother, you don’t believe Audra would give up all she had here, give up her family, because she was afraid of bein’ embarrassed?"

"It would not be out of the realm of possibility,"Victoria answered.

"And, let’s further speculate," Jarrod began. "That it didn’t work out and that’s why she hasn’t come home, or allowed herself to be found."

Heath spoke again. "Then she’s out there somewhere, maybe all alone, afraid to come home."

"We have to find her," said Nick.

Victoria stood. "But there is another possibility."

"What?" Nick asked. "It could be that she’s found happiness. In that case, we must not disturb that happiness."

"Mother, if Audra is happy with a man, why wouldn’t she want to let us know, let us share her happiness, surely she wouldn’t deliberately worry us?" This from Nick.

"She may be feeling very independent for the first time in her life," Victoria said.

Jarrod believed he understood his mother’s point of view. "Audra has been sheltered. Perhaps she’s found a life where she doesn’t have a mother and three brothers telling her what to do, protecting her, always protecting her, not allowing her to be her own person."

"Wait a minute!" Nick roared. "Jarrod, are you sayin’ Audra’s out there somewhere, happy to be away from us!"

"That’s what he’s sayin’, Nick, and I don’t believe it for a minute!"

Heath said, loud. "And I think you are all usin’ this as an excuse. I don’t like to say this, Mother, but I think you are usin’ this as an excuse to let Jarrod off the hook. Well, I for one don’t believe it, and I’m goin’ out to search for her again first thing in the mornin’. Good night."

Bonnie wondered why she didn’t feel more at ease. After all, Travis was not going to make an issue out of her refusing to go along on the trip South. He wasn’t even going to go himself. That meant that they could settle in and enjoy their son, enjoy the great blessing that had been bestowed upon them.

She was feeling much stronger, almost normal. Of course, she would never be normal until she recovered her memory, but that wasn’t likely to happen. Forget it, she told herself, but wondered if she could. There was that beginning of a name, if that’s what it had been, that she’d said while talking to the baby. What was it? Bar? Yes, that was it. She hadn’t asked Travis if that meant anything to him.

James had not come in the house as yet and it was almost bedtime.

Glancing over at Travis, who was cleaning his rifle at the kitchen table, she asked, "What is Jamie doing staying outside so late? He missed his supper."

"I don’t know, Bonnie."

"Will he make the trip South alone?"

"I don’t see what good it would do him," Travis said, and then quickly added, "I mean, he really wanted all of us to go."

No wonder she felt uneasy still. This wasn’t settled. "Travis, do you know anyone whose name starts with the letters B A R?"

"What?"

She had alarmed him. He could not hide it. "You do, don’t you? Who is it? Is it someone I knew before I lost my memory?"

He stood up, still holding the gun. "Bonnie, what makes you ask such a thing? Did Jamie----?

"Did Jamie what?"

Startled, Bonnie looked to the door. Her husband’s brother was entering. She had been so intensely involved in her conversation with Travis, she had not heard him. She could tell Travis also had not. James repeated his question. "Did I what? What are you talking about? And why aren’t the two of you dressed to be on the road?"

Travis squared his shoulders noticeably. "Bonnie is not goin’, Jamie, and neither am I."

James’ expression frightened her. Bonnie moved to her baby’s bed, instinctively wishing to protect him. Travis gripped the gun tighter, as his brother reacted to the news. "I won’t listen to this, Travis. Now, get ready! You too, Bonnie!"

As he spoke, James took steps toward her. "No!" she yelled. "Stay away from me, stay away from my baby!"

But he continued to walk toward her, did Jamie, a very menacing look on his face. "Travis, please stop him!" she begged.

"Jamie, leave her alone!" Travis intervened, "You can’t make people do things they don’t want to, you---"

"You are going!" Jamie screeched at Bonnie, completely ignoring his brother now. "This is my big chance to get rich and you won’t be stoppin’ me!"

"Please---" she said again, throwing her body over the cradle. "Please don’t"

But Jamie didn’t listen. He grabbed her and pushed her away from the cradle. "If you won’t go, then I’ll just take the kid." "No!" Bonnie screamed, and then Travis fired the gun.

Chapter 4

For a time, she didn’t know how long, Bonnie could not hear anything except the sound of the gun going off. It seemed to be happening over and over, although she was aware there had only been one shot fired. When her ears stopped ringing, the first thing she heard was Travis Jr. squalling at the top of his lungs. She automatically reached down and swept him up and began talking softly to him. His crying quieted immediately.

Her mind registered the fact that her child was safe, releasing her to take in the scene around her. What she saw was blood, lots of blood. Blood on the floor, the table, lots of blood. Then, she saw her husband kneeling down over his brother. Bonnie then took a good long look at James Radford. He was dead, she had no doubt of that. She looked away.

"I killed Jamie," she heard Travis say. And then he said it again, and again, and again. She lost count of how many times he said it.

Not wanting to, but forcing herself, Bonnie looked back at the scene. "Travis, I’m sorry," she muttered.

Her words seemed to register with her husband and he stood up. "He was no good, Bonnie. We’re better off with him dead. I’ll need to bury him now." Shocked, Bonnie was at a loss for words for several seconds. Travis must not be thinking clearly. You didn’t just bury someone immediately after they died. She could recall----what? She pushed her thoughts away.

"Travis, shouldn’t he have a proper burial? I mean, a ceremony? We should get him cleaned up and off the floor first, and then----"

Travis’ mind could barely comprehend the situation. James, his brother, a man he could not recall ever spending more than a few days at a time away from was dead, dead because the damn man wouldn’t give up a life of crime, dead because he’d tried to force Bonnie into doing something she didn’t want to. Well, the chose had been made. James was dead and Bonnie was still here. He loved her, Travis did, and what he’d told her was true.

Jamie had always been a bad seed, certainly a bad influence. With Bonnie and the child, he could go on with life now, go straight, and no one would ever be the wiser. If anyone asked about Jamie, he would tell them his brother had taken off for parts unknown. He would convince Bonnie to say the same. The only thing that could go wrong now was for his wife to regain her memory. "And then what?" he asked her, fearing she had recalled something from her past which caused her to mention a ceremony.

"Well, I only meant that surely you didn’t plan to bury him yet today," she said. "No need to wait. He’s dead."

"Yes, but, aren’t you going to have a funeral for him?" Had she heard about funerals and such during the past year, or did she actually remember one?

"No, we don’t know anybody around here. Might as well get it over with. I’ll say words over him."

Up before dawn, Heath came down the Barkley stairway as softly as he could. If possible, he wanted to get away without anyone hearing him. It wasn’t as if they wouldn’t know where he had gone off to. The last thing he had said to his family the previous night was that he was going to once again mount a search for Audra. In the kitchen, he found cookies and cheese to munch on. It wasn’t the sizeable breakfast he’d grown accustomed to since becoming a member of the family, but it would sustain him until he reached a diner or tavern somewhere where he could get a substantial meal.

The turn this business about his sister had taken was not to Heath’s liking, but it looked like the others were not to be convinced to see his way of thinking. Jarrod could not be allowed to lose face, it seemed like to Heath, and Mother and Nick would work to see that he didn’t, even if they didn’t believe for a minute what they were saying they believed, and even if it meant sacrificing any chance they had of finding Audra. Well, he wouldn’t go along with it. If he had to search alone, then he would. After he finished the cookies and cheese, Heath washed them down with milk. He then picked up his saddle bag in which he’d put a few things essential to him, and departed the house through the kitchen door. As he walked, his mind was a jumble of thoughts. For instance, he hadn’t decided which way to head. There had not been a clue as to which way she might have gone or been taken, and they had searched high and low in all directions before.

His head down, he entered the barn where Charger was stabled. He was startled out of his thoughts when someone spoke to him. "Up early I see."

It was Nick. Heath glanced up and saw that his older brother had Coco saddled and was apparently ready to ride out. "You’re up kinda early yourself, Nick. Where are you off to?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"You know where I’m goin’, Nick. I told you last night."

"Yea, I thought so. Mind if I ride along?"

Surprised, Heath focused on the tall, sometimes volatile man he’d come to think the world of."I didn’t think you’d want to, thought you’d bought all of that stuff Mother and Jarrod were sellin’."

Nick chuckled and shrugged. "They could be right, you know? But even if they are, even if Sis is happy somewhere, I feel like we have a right to know it. I hope she is, Heath. I hope we find her livin’ in peace n harmony."

"But?" Heath said, moving toward the business of saddling his horse.

"But, like you, I can’t see as how we’ll be that lucky, can’t see as how Audra’s been that lucky."

"Did you tell Mother or Jarrod you were goin’?"

"Nope," Nick said. "They’ll figure it out, I reckon."

Heath said no more and Nick didn’t either. Instead, the older man led Coco out of the stall and out of the barn. Heath hurried to get ready. He felt good inside. Nick believed as he did and would ride with him. Two heads were always better than one. When Charger was saddled, he led him out to where Nick and Coco were waiting. They both mounted and, together, rode out of the Barkley gate. Just outside, Nick reigned in. "What’s wrong?" Heath questioned.

"I don’t know which way we should head. Do you?"

Heath turned in his saddle, looking this way and that. "Not for sure. Maybe we should split up."

Nick disagreed. "Naw. We’d better ride together for a while."

Nodding his agreement, Heath said. "Then I say we go North."

"North it is," Nick said and they rode off.

The "words" Travis had spoken over his brother were brief. Bonnie, with the baby in her arms, had stood on the hillside where her husband had dug a grave in which to put James. It had been a terrible struggle for Travis to get the body off the floor in the house and out to the barn, then into the box, then to get the box on to the wagon to be transported to the hillside. He allowed her to help a bit, but refused to allow her to lift much so soon after the baby was born. Watching him sweat as he pulled and tugged had broken her heart.

She had taken the baby to the burial spot with her, because she didn’t want to leave him alone in the house and Travis refused to tell anyone else about his brother’s death. She didn’t understand that, and, as she listened to the short service conducted for James, she grew apprehensive. Why couldn’t they tell their neighbors? Oh, it was a fact that they hadn’t made friends, but there were people they spoke to in the nearest town when they went for supplies. It just didn’t seem right to do it this way.

Bonnie wondered if Travis expected her to always live in such an isolated manner. For some reason, she didn’t believe she had done so before her memory loss, but her husband insisted they had always been loners and that, as far as he knew, she had been before meeting him. Every now and then during this past year, she had felt a twinge of----of what?----Something would almost come to her, or so it seemed, and then it would be gone. Had she actually been a different kind of person and Travis was keeping it from her? Sometimes, she wanted to laugh more, be more social, enjoy life more, because of a fleeting feeling she had that at one time in her life she had done so. "This was James Radford," Travis had said over his brother. "I commit him to the earth now. Amen."

They had returned to the house as soon as Travis shovelled the dirt over his brother’s grave. While he did so, Bonnie carried the baby back to the wagon to wait. A picture crossed her mind momentarily, a picture of a grave, but not this new one being filled in now. Whose grave was it?

Of course, she didn’t know. What she did know was that she’d seen a small cemetary on the way into the nearest town to purchase supplies and that the graves had markers on them. In years to come, people would know who was buried there, because the markers had the names of the dead and, usually, the date of birth and death. James Radford, according to Travis, would have no such reminder on his grave. It seemed wrong to Bonnie, very wrong, but she wasn’t going to argue with her husband about it.

The marking of graves caused her to wonder if she had family buried somewhere. Of course, she must have, but where? Were their graves marked, so that, if she should ever come across them, she would know they were her kin? She admonished herself for the thought. She didn’t know any name to look for, and Travis swore she had never known. But to whom did the grave belong which had so fleetingly crossed her mind? She instructed herself to forget about it.

After supper, Bonnie rocked the baby to sleep, singing to him. Travis stood by the fireplace,staring into it. He had said no more than four words since returning from the burial of his brother. He seemed like a stranger all off a sudden. "Travis, you haven’t blamed me, but I know if I had gone along on the trip, James would still be alive. I’m really sorry, but I just couldn’t go."

Travis walked toward her. "It’s alright, Bonnie. There was no need for you to go, no need for any of us to go. James was out to cause trouble. That’s what he did in his life. He didn’t know no other way. It’s gonna be different now, you’ll see."

He was close to her now and she allowed him to take her in his arms. Being held felt especially good just then, took away some of the foreboding she’d felt since the baby was born, and erased the nagging doubts she’d been having about her husband. "Travis," she began speaking, pushing back from him after a bit. "I am happy just as we are, except I feel that if I could just remember more about who I am, it would really help. I mean, isn’t there anything you can tell me? The baby will want to know someday about his heritage, and I won’t know what to tell him."

"Bonnie, you and me together, we’re gonna make a heritage for that little boy, a heritage he can be proud of. He won’t need to know anything about either of us before the day he was born. All three of our lives start right now. Travis Radford Jr. is gonna be the heir to the great life we’re gonna create from now on."

Later, in bed, when she knew Travis Sr. and Jr. were asleep, Bonnie reflected on her husband’s statement. There wasn’t anything she could think of to say at the time to put up an argument against his logic. She, too, felt more optimistic than she had for a few days about the future. It was horrible to say, but the absense of James would make it easier to build a good life. She had not liked him, and Travis even admitted his brother was a trouble maker.

Well, then, they would start building a good life for their baby, the heir to the Radford name.

It should not, and, just before she dropped off to sleep, did not, matter to Bonnie about her own past.

Nick and Heath slept in their bed rolls that night. It was almost summer, but the nights were still quite chilly. Heath commented on it when he was forced to come out of his warm cocoon by a loud talking Nick. "Boy Howdy, Nick, aren’t you ever afraid you’ll ruin your voice box, always yellin’ like that?"

"Nope, not afraid of that, nor much else," Nick replied, going about starting a fire to brew coffee over. "Time you woke up, so I saw to it you did."

Heath grinned. It would not be difficult to allow the companionship of Nick Barkley to cause him to forget the importance of their mission. He was certain, however, that Nick hadn’t forgotten and he wouldn’t either, but they might as well enjoy themselves a bit during the search. "You sure you know how to make that coffee? Seems to me, the last coffee of yours I drank caused me to have a bellyache for three days."

"Is that a fact?" Nick reacted, brows knitted. "You are more than welcome to make it yourself."

"I’ll be brave," Heath said.

They stopped teasing and drank their coffee. Nick turned serious. "Heath, we have to come up with a plan of some kind. We can’t just ride and ride and ride."

"I don’t see no other way, Nick," Heath responded. "But if you’ve got an idea, I’ll listen."

Nick frowned. "I don’t. Too bad Jarrod didn’t come. He told me he’d recognize the back of that guy’s head if he ever saw it again."

Victoria and Jarrod Barkley ate their breakfast in silence. They each occupied the place at the table which was normal for them to occupy. This put Victoria at one end and Jarrod at the other. Between them, there was no one. Both Nick and Heath had been gone the previous morning when Mrs. Barkley and her oldest son came downstairs. Both had been too upset to eat. They were both still too distraught to carry on much of a conversation now.

Nearly finished with her meal, Victoria did finally speak and her words caught the attention of her companion. "Jarrod, why don’t you go out and do some searching of your own? You can not concentrate on your work, I’m sure."

Jarrod kept his eyes on his plate. "Mother, Nick and Heath are looking for Audra, searching for a needle in a haystack. I see no reason----"

"Of course you see a reason, Jarrod!" Victoria cut him off. "You hold the only hope we have of finding her. Your brothers didn’t see this man you spoke of."

"Mother, I didn’t see him, either! Just the back of his head."

"I know it seems hopeless," she continued. "But I have an awful feeling, Jarrod, that this family is going to fall totally to pieces if we don’t find something. Your brothers are off together, you and I are here-----"

Jarrod laid down his fork. "I fear that as well. My first instinct was correct. I should have taken what little I know to my grave. I knew Heath would go off, he said so, but I didn’t expect that Nick would."

"Nick does not blame you, he’s just, well, he’s restless, unsatisfied that we haven’t found her."

"But Heath does blame me," Jarrod muttered. Victoria squared her shoulders. "We each have to do what we think is best in the end. Jarrod, I have a theory."

The tone of her voice brought Jarrod’s head up. "A theory, Mother?"

"Yes. I wonder if we didn’t go about it all wrong during the first search. Now, your brothers have left, and it’s too late to share this with them, but I want to see what you think."

There was a hint of excitement in his mother’s voice, and Jarrod could not imagine what she might be getting at. "Go on," he requested.

"Well, the idea that Audra could have left with a man, someone she loved, made me think that perhaps we’ve spent too much time looking for a dead person."

"You really don’t believe she’s dead? You think there is a possibility she’s only living somewhere else, perhaps actually happy to be?"

"Yes, I think it’s a possibility," Victoria answered. "And, if she is, she’s not in an arroya or floating in a river. The coroners and doctors have not seen her, nor the sheriffs in the different places. It could be, though, that the dressmakers, shop owners, and those sorts of people have."

Jarrod was astounded. Why had he not thought of this? "Mother, you may be right. Audra may be living a perfectly normal life. We only checked with the people who would have been notified if a girl injured, or----well, if a body had been discovered-----"

"Yes," Victoria agreed. "We need to mount an entirely different sort of search. And it’s up to you at the moment, Jarrod."

Except for the time she spent nursing the baby during the night, Bonnie had slept far better than she’d expected to. She was actually in a good mood when she arose. She woke Travis and told him it was almost daylight. He made the move immediately to get up.

"I’ll fix breakfast," she told him. As they ate, she reflected on the past, which for her was only a year.Always, James had been at the table for meals, making it impossible for Bonnie to say anything intimate or personal to her husband. When she’d asked Travis if it had been so throughout their marriage, he’d said yes. Now, though, they were alone, except for their son. It felt good. She knew it was very wrong to be glad someone was dead, but she couldn’t deny to herself that she was not unhappy to have her brother-in-law gone. She felt close to Travis, closer than she could ever recall feeling. She had a question for him. "Are you going to town today?"

"I might. Why?"

"Oh, I just thought I would take the baby and go along. Would that be alright?"

Chapter 5

Travis struggled to control his emotions. He had known this would happen eventually, or, at least, he’d suspicioned it would. Bonnie had no doubt been in high society when she was Audra Barkley. All along, he’d planned to discourage her from much interaction with other people, fearing someone might recognize her. They weren’t all that far from Stockton, only about seventy five miles. Of course, her wanting to go to town didn’t necessarily mean she would push to become a member in good standing in the local society. She was poor now, and poor ladies didn’t join the ladies clubs.

"Isn’t the baby too young to be out much?" he questioned her. "I can get whatever you need."

"I just feel like getting out, Travis, feel like going somewhere. The baby will be fine. There are things I want to get for him. Blankets-----"

"Bonnie, you are gonna have to make all of them kind of things, we can’t afford to buy them."

Rebuked, she ate for a time in silence. Travis hated to hurt her, but he was so afraid. Last night he’d laid awake for a long time thinking about things, things he hadn’t considered before. For instance, the boy would go to school in a few years and he would make friends. Bonnie would want to be friends with other women, the mothers of Travis Jr.’s friends. It would be impossible to isolate her completely.

"Travis, I hoped, I mean, well, I hoped we could live a little differently now that Jamie’s gone."

"How so?" he asked.

"He seemed to be in charge always," she went on. "I never felt he wanted us to be a part of the community. I don’t see why we can’t be now, do you?"

"I’ve never been one much for socializin’, Bonnie."

"I know, but I need----Travis, do you know if I ever danced? Did we ever dance together?"

"Dance?" he said.

"Yes, you’ve heard of dancing, haven’t you?"

Travis forced himself to look directly at her. Her eyes were twinkling! Something was happening to her! She should have no knowledge of dancing. In the year she’d been with him, she had not witnessed anyone dancing, nor had it ever been mentioned. She must be regaining her memory! What should he do? "No, we’ve never danced together. I don’t even know how."

"Oh," she said, as if that surprised her. "Well, I can teach you."

Truly alarmed now, he said, "I don’t want to learn to dance, Bonnie! We’re not that kind of people."

Bonnie wondered at her own audacity. She was pushing her husband and he was growing angry. To her, it appeared to be more than anger. If she wasn’t mistaken, Travis was scared. Despite not knowing what to expect if she pushed him further on the subject, she did so anyway. "Just what sort of people are we? We don’t dance, you say. We don’t socialize, you say. We don’t bother to tell anyone that Jamie is dead, you say. I suppose you don’t want me to have any friends at all! I don’t care what you say, Travis, I’m not going to live like that! I’m going to dance and have fun! I’ve always done so, I------"

She stopped speaking and abruptly picked up her child. She kept her eyes averted from those of her husband. She felt very confused. As with the beginning of the name, the marked grave, the resemblance she felt her son had to someone she couldn’t recall, a momentary something had flashed through her mind and then gone away just as quickly. This time, the momentary something had been a vision, a vision of herself and a man who was not Travis. This man had dark hair and was very tall, and she was dancing with him. Who was it?

"Bonnie?" Travis said. "Bonnie, what is it?" But he knew without asking. She had remembered something. He could see it in her face. She was acting strange. Strange for Bonnie, but perhaps not strange for Audra Barkley. He watched her walk around the room, the baby in her arms. "It’s nothing," she finally replied. "Only that I don’t like living so cut off from other people, is all."

A decision had to be made. Travis knew he was now between a rock and a hard place. Which ever way he decided to move might possibly spell trouble. He could continue to try to keep her to himself, keep her away from people as much as possible. But, she wouldn’t be happy. She would keep the pressure on to do things like she was asking to do now, and if he refused, she might possibly leave. The alternative was to allow her more access to others, but that might create a situation where she would see something or someone which would trigger a memory, or, someone might see her who knew her as Audra.

"Bonnie," he said to her. "It’s all right. You can go to town with me. You can even teach me to dance, if you like. I, uh, I want you to be happy."

Her joy at his statement nearly overwhelmed him. She laid the baby in his crib, and then wrapped her arms around Travis’ neck. "Oh, thank you! I can’t wait to go to a dance, to be carefree and have fun. I just know I was like that at some time in my life. Maybe at the orphanage, before you met me. Oh Travis, let’s do go to town. We’ll have to find someone trustworthy to look after the baby so that we can go to the next dance. I saw a sign in town the last time I was there. There’s a dance every Saturday night."

Jarrod hated to leave his mother alone. There was no telling when he, himself, would return to the ranch, and he had no idea when his brothers might return. It would depend on what trace, if any, they found of Audra. He’d invited Victoria to travel with him, but she’d declined, saying she would rather wait at home. He had felt it best not to press her, because he believed she wanted to be there in case Audra came home on her own, or, in case Heath and Nick should happen to bring her home.

When his mother asked which way he intended to head, Jarrod had been stunned to realize he didn’t know what to answer. He hadn’t concentrated on a direction yet, and told her so. She nodded and didn’t pursue the matter. Now that he was up and away on Jingo, he, of course, must decide on a direction. He reigned his mount in and sat in one place for a time, contemplating the matter. Something, he did not know what for it was only a feeling, told him to go north for a while. He rode on. Feeling more optimistic than he had during the first search, Jarrod knew it was because of his mother’s suggestion that he search for a living person and not a dead one. He should have done so a year ago, given what he had observed, but that was water under the bridge now. He would stop in every small town and give a description of Audra to people a young woman might come in contact with. He hadn’t said so to Mother, and she hadn’t mentioned it, but, sadly, he would need to check to see if his sister had become a saloon girl. There had been posters put out for miles around at the time, but sometimes people did not want to get involved.

Jarrod wondered which way Nick and Heath had gone. He supposed their search would be much as it had been a year ago. They would still be looking for signs of a young woman who had been killed, either by accident or at someone’s hand. He wished he could share his optimism with them, but there was no use wishing. He was on his own for the time being.

Nick and Heath set out on the second day of their journey, again heading North. They stopped several times to look in ditches and ravines, and then rode into the first town they came to. They asked at the doctor’s office, and, for good measure, at the local mortuary. No one fitting Audra’s description had come through. They checked with the Sheriff and then rode on.

"You’re awful quiet," Nick said to his brother.

"I’m always quiet," Heath said.

"That’s a fact, but you’re more quiet than usual. Is it because you’ve decided we’re on a wild goose chase?"

Heath drew Charger up short and watched as his brother did the same with Coco. "Listen, Nick, we knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we’re out here now, so let’s make the most of it."

"We are makin’ the most of it," Nick growled. "The trouble is, we don’t know what we’re lookin’ for."

"We’re lookin’ for Audra, Nick!"

"I know that, but we don’t have a clue, not a clue. We went through all of this when she disappeared."

"Why did you come along, if that’s the way you feel?"

"Because, Heath, I don’t want you out here alone, that’s why. Now, let’s go."

And so they rode on.

The small town of Elk Grove was the nearest to the Radford farm. Sacramento, the state capital, was located not far to the North, but Bonnie Radford did not know or care about that. All she knew or cared about at the moment was that it was a beautiful day and she had been on a wonderful outing to Elk Grove. She, her husband, and small son, had only just returned to the farm, and she had chattered all the way in and back. She was still chattering when they entered the house.

"Just think, Travis, everyone was so taken with our son. Why, he’ll be the talk of the community! They all think he’s such a wonderful baby. And Mrs. Hensley said she would be glad to watch him for a few hours Saturday night so that we can go to the dance. Oh Travis, I feel so glad to be alive!"

Travis frowned at her. "Bonnie, it seemed to me folks were wonderin’ why you would want to go to a dance so soon after the birth."

His comment took her by surprise. She locked eyes with him. "I didn’t get that feeling at all. The lady in the mercantile store said it would be good for me to get out, said she’d always wondered why I didn’t come to town much."

He nodded. "Well, maybe I’m wrong about it. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself."

She was almost giddy. "I won’t, I promise! It’s just that I feel so different since Travis Jr. was born. I feel so alive and, oh I don’t know."

Travis did know. She was feeling like Audra Barkley. She must have been quite a high society lady. Well, he’d known that, hadn’t he? The trouble was, he’d ignored it, thinking she’d never regain her memory, or, if she did, he could control her. He knew different now. She hadn’t regained her memory, but her personality was changing right before his eyes, and he couldn’t help but believe it was only a matter of time. Then what?

There was no doubt in Travis’ mind that Bonnie would want nothing to do with him once she had total recall of who she had been before. The idea that taking her to a dance would make her happy and therefore keep her from trying to remember now seemed foolish. But she was so set on it! He needed time to think. The dance was three days away yet. There must be something he could do to change her mind, something he could do to keep her from remembering who she really was.

Sleep would not come for Bonnie that night. Her mind raced with a multitude of thoughts, so many she couldn’t concentrate on one before another took its place. Everything seemed so different. Was it only because her loss of memory and then her pregnancy had depressed her, and now she was becoming more like her old self? Or, was it something else entirely? It was almost as if she had two personalities now, the one she’d had since she could recall anything, and then another happier, more carefree one. When the vision of the tall man with dark hair came to her again, she tried to hold on to it, attempted to concentrate on who it might be. She could not. It was just as fleeting as it had been that morning, but even so, it made her feel good somehow, made her feel warm inside. Who was it? An old boy friend? She didn’t think so for it wasn’t a romantic sort of feeling. Was he the man her child resembled? When the time came to nurse, she got out of bed, determined to study the baby’s face and compare his features to that of the man in the vision.

She walked as quietly as possible to the crib and gently lifted Travis Jr. She lit the lamp in the sitting room and set down in the rocking chair. As the baby nursed she studied his features. No, he looked nothing like the tall man with black hair, she decided. Disappointed, she nevertheless kept her gaze fixed on the tiny human being as he took his nourishment. She thought of the name she’d started to say. What was it? Bar? Yes, that was it. Did the man with dark hair have that name? She rocked. The baby fed. Bar? Bark? Was that it? Bark? Why was she so intent upon dancing? she wondered. Where had she danced with the tall man? The baby seemed to be full. She lifted him to her shoulder to burp him.

And then she had another vision. She was dancing again, but not with the same man. This one also had dark hair, but he wasn’t as tall, his eyes were bluer----she laid the baby back down in her arms so that she could see his face. THE BABY LOOKED LIKE THE MAN IN THIS NEW VISION! But who--and then it came to her. She was Audra Barkley, not Bonnie Radford. When the realization hit her, she nearly fell out of the chair, nearly dropped the baby. Her first thought was to wonder why she was rocking someone’s baby at this hour of the night, and then another realization hit her. This was her child. Her child with a stranger, for that’s who that man in the bedroom was. A stranger who said he was her husband. To fight the panic engulfing her, she remained very still. The visions were of her brothers, Nick and Jarrod. She had another brother whose name was Heath. And then there was Mother.

Audra began to cry.

Victoria awoke with a start. She threw back the covers on her bed and put her feet on the floor. The movement was done so quickly, she felt dizzy. She also felt that something wasn’t right.

Moving to the window, she looked out toward the stables. Remembering then that her sons were all away, and Audra----For the first time in a long time, her mother’s intuition told Victoria her daughter was alive. Had Heath and Nick found her? Jarrod? All she could do was wait.

Chapter 6

Neither Nick nor Heath had any intuition about Audra one way or the other. They were in agreement about one thing, however. They were tired. They also were hot, hungry and thirsty. "We’d better lay over somewhere, this is gonna be a hot day," Nick suggested. "How far is it to Galt?"

"Five miles or so," Heath replied. "Listen, Nick, we’re not accomplishin’ a darn thing on this journey."

"Is that a fact?" Nick’s voice boomed across the open land. "You didn’t expect to ride out one day and find Audra the next, did ya?"

Heath dismounted. "Nick, it’s ten o’clock in the mornin’ and already too hot to ride. If she got dumped out here somewhere, well----"

"I know," Nick said softly. "There’d be nothin’ left to find. Our only hope a findin’ her or word of her is in the towns. Let’s ride on to Galt. We can hunt up a card game until it cools down some. I’d like to get up around Sacramento in another four or five days."

Heath nodded, swung back up on Charger, and they rode on.

Jarrod also found it too hot to ride and so when he came to the small town of Lodi, he decided he would be hanging around several hours, even if no one he asked had seen or heard of his sister. He entered the dry goods store and approached the man behind the counter. "Hello,"

Jarrod opened.

"Hello," the man said, friendly. "May I help you with something?"

"I very much hope you can," said Jarrod. "My name is Jarrod Barkley and I’m from down around Stockton."

Jarrod intended to proceed, but when he saw the clerk’s eyes grow large, he waited for thefellow’s reaction. It came quickly. "One of THE Barkleys?"

Jarrod smiled slightly. "I suppose you may have heard of my family."

"Oh yes I have. What brings you to Lodi?"

"I’m looking for my sister. She disappeared one year ago. We searched then, but we’ve decided to do so again. She has blond hair, long at that time, blue eyes----"

He stopped speaking because he could see an expression on the clerk’s face he had not seen displayed by anyone on the previous search. "Uh, you look as if you might know something about this. Do you?"

The clerk reddened. "Mister Barkley, I’m very ashamed of myself. It just could be that I did see that woman, but I never mentioned it to anyone."

Jarrod could not believe his ears. He took a moment to control his emotions before speaking again. "Go on, Mister, uh, what is your name?"

"George Green."

"Go on, Mr. Green."

"Well, of course I didn’t think nothin’ of it when I saw her, because I hadn’t seen those posters yet, but when I did see the posters------"

Jarrod could barely contain himself until the fellow got to the point.He cut in. "Where did you see this woman, Mr. Green?"

"Right out in front of this store. In a buckboard."

"When?" Jarrod asked, his voice breaking.

"Well, like I say it was before the posters went up."

"Then it must have been just after she disappeared."

"Could be, yes," Green agreed.

"What was she doing? Was she alone? Was she injured?" Jarrod began a round of inquiries.

The other man stuttered a bit after hearing the rapid fire questions. "Well, uh, no, I couldn’t see that she was injured. She wasn’t doin’ anything, uh, that I could see, just sittin’ there on the buckboard waitin’."

"Waiting? Waiting for what? Or was it who? Was she with someone?"

"Yes, yes, there were two men with her. They both came in the store, but she didn’t."

"I see," Jarrod said, while his mind attempted to process the information, to analyze what the clerk was telling him. "What did they look like, these men? Do you remember?"

Green shrugged. "It’s a long time ago, Mr. Barkley. I do know I’d never seen them before. I’d, uh, say----"

"Say what?"

"If I was guessin’, I’d say they were brothers. They looked alike."

Jarrod’s mind flashed him a picture of the man he’d seen go in the stable that day. "Did at least one of them have brownish, rather long hair and, uh, stand close to six feet tall?"

"As I remember, they both looked a lot like that," said Green. Excited inside, Jarrod tried to concentrate on important questions he should ask this man. "And you say they left, uh, this woman, in the buckboard alone?"

"Yes. She waited there, calm as could be, if you ask me."

If it had been Audra, it sounded like she wasn’t trying to escape. "Did you see what happened when they left?"

"What happened?" Green repeated, appearing to be confused by the inquiry.

"I’m sorry," Jarrod apologized. "I should make myself clearer. What I mean is, did you notice if this woman seemed agitated, unhappy, or, perhaps at odds with these men?"

"Oh no, I wouldn’t say so at all. I remember she smiled when the one man climbed up to sit next to her. A real pretty smile, it was. I remember thinkin’ they must be lovers or newlyweds."

"I see," Jarrod said. "I see."

"That’s why I didn’t contact nobody when I saw the posters, Mr. Barkley," Green hurried on.

"It just looked to me like that woman I saw was happy right where she was."

Jarrod nodded. "Yes, well, I can understand your feeling that way. One more question, though.Which way did they go when they left? Did you notice?"

Green pointed. "They went north. I’m sure of it, Mr. Barkley."

"Thank you, Mr. Green. You’ve been very helpful."

There was twice the work now. With Jamie dead, Travis wondered if he’d be able to keep up with the job of keeping the old farm running. He also wondered how long he would need to worry about it. Last night, he would have sworn on a stack of bibles his life here was almost over. Bonnie was a different person there for a while and it had scared him half to death. She’d insisted they go to dances, she talked a mile a minute, but this morning, she was different.

Different, that is, from the person she’d been becoming since the baby was born. This morning, she was Bonnie, his wife, the woman he’d known and loved since she’d come to in the buckboard, a day or so after he and Jamie had taken her from the stable in Stockton.

Would she be all right now? To Travis, being all right meant that she would remain as she had been this morning when he left her in the house to come to the field. He hoped so, because he’d been fearful last night she would regain her memory, and then leave. And when she left, she would take the boy with her. Travis had decided he could not allow that.

Travis Jr. was his heir and he planned to keep him, even if it meant-------he hoped he wouldn’t have to cross that bridge.

Audra was petrified. She very much wanted her family, wanted to run out the door of this old rickety house and keep running until she reached her mother and brothers. Putting on an act as she’d done earlier this morning, pretending to be Bonnie Radford, had been almost more than she could pull off. Several times she had almost said something which would sound more to Travis like Audra than Bonnie. She needed to be careful. Until she could get help, she couldn’t allow the man she lived with to know she had completely regained her memory.

The reason she could not just leave, could not go to the barn and saddle up one of the riding horses and go for help was sound asleep in his cradle. Her baby. Her son. Travis Radford Jr. had to be protected. She could not abandon him to get help, and he was too young to take along on an escape attempt. There was a plan playing around in Audra’s mind. It would be tricky, but she thought it was worth a try. If she could insist Travis go to the dance, then, while there, she could ask someone for help, tell someone her story without his knowing she’d done so. He mustn’t learn of it because he might not allow her to come back for the baby.

Audra had heard stories all of her life about what motherhood did to you. She’d seen her own mother go to extraordinary lengths to protect her children, or to help them when they were in trouble. She’d even done as much for Heath, a young man not hers by birth, but whom she loved enough to do anything in the world to keep him safe. Well, Audra knew now what motivated Victoria Barkley to do those things. And she would do anything to protect the tiny life she called her son. Fear gripped her, though, when she thought of what Travis might do. She’d watched him as he gazed at his son, watched him as he reached out to touch the baby, listened as he talked about him. Travis would not give up his son easily.

The mirror held a fascination for Audra this morning. She stopped to study her image each time she passed it. She remembered looking in it only a few days ago, looking in it and trying to remember what sort of person she’d been before she lost her memory.

Well, now she knew, but the young woman who’d been Audra Barkley was hidden inside of her. Staring back at her was a person who still looked very much like Bonnie Radford. This girl didn’t have Audra’s long, flowing hair, didn’t have her shining eyes, didn’t have her bright smile, wasn’t wearing Audra’s beautiful clothes. No, this was still Bonnie, and perhaps that was all for the best. It would help her pull off her plan to escape.

The card game lasted well into the afternoon. Heath did fairly well at the table, coming out some three hundred dollars ahead. Nick, on the other hand, barely broke even.

When the Barkley brothers rode out of Galt, the older of the two was a trifle on the grouchy order. "You’d think a man’s luck would change after playin’ that long."

Heath turned his head so that the other man wouldn’t see his grin. "Well, Nick, it could have been worse. Those guys were tough. You’re lucky you didn’t lose your hat, your pants, your spurs, your gun, your---"

"Wait a minute, Heath!" Nick cut into the list of possible losses," Do you honestly think I wouldn’t have won back what I lost and then some if we’d have stayed and played longer?"

"Yea, I honestly think that," Heath replied drily. Nick scowled deeply. "I think I’ll ride on ahead of ya," he said. "Your company is becomin’ a might tedious."

"Don’t get out of sight," Heath drawled. "You might get lost."

Nick spurred Coco and moved ahead enough to keep Heath from seeing the smile he couldn’t suppress. It was good to see his brother relax and enjoy himself a bit. Oh sure, some would say it wasn’t the time and the place for joking around. After all, they were on a serious mission, but Nick felt they would have just as much of a chance at finding some trace of Audra if they weren’t too tense. He was about to turn around and yell a retort back at Heath, when he heard the other man cry out.

Turning Coco back quickly, Nick saw his brother tumbling down a ravine. He rode back, dismounted, and ran down to check on him. "Heath, what happened? Are you alright?"

Heath, shaken, got to a sitting position with Nick’s help. "Yea, I’m alright. I think Charger stepped in a hole or somethin’."

The two men looked back to the top of the ravine. Charger was standing there, and close to him lay one of his shoes. "Oh my," Nick said. "Looks like it’s gonna take us a while to get back to Galt and get that horse of yours another shoe."

"Closer to Elk Grove now," Heath said. "Might as well go on there."

"Let’s check Charger out and see if he can be ridden," Nick said, helping Heath to his feet.

"Better get a move on. This is the coolest part of the day."

Heath looked his horse over carefully and decided, because of a slight tear on the bottom of his foot, that he shouldn’t carry a man. "One of us is gonna have to walk, Nick."

"We’ll take turns," said the older man. "Let’s go."

By the time Travis returned to the house after a full day’s work in the field, Audra was prepared to put her plan into action. There were only two days left until Saturday and the dance. The man who had told her he was her husband had already consented to go into Elk Grove Saturday night.

She realized now he’d probably made the concession to try to keep her happy when he realized she might be on the verge of remembering who she was. Audra, having had a day to think about it, believed it might not be wise to return to the hapless personality of Bonnie. She had been changing as she gradually recalled who she really was.

Travis had reacted to that change. Perhaps, if she pretended to be submissive and passive, he would go back on his offer. She had to get to that dance. The thing to do, she had decided, was to strike a balance between Audra and Bonnie, a balance which would keep Travis off balance.

Ever alert now to Bonnie’s moods and personality, Travis noticed immediately that she had once again changed somewhat. Oh, it wasn’t as dramatic as the previous evening, she wasn’t chattering away, wasn’t bombarding him with things she would like to do, but she wasn’t the quiet Bonnie of this morning, either. If the woman was going to be this changeable from now on, he didn’t know if his nerves could tolerate it. One minute, he had his wife beside him, the woman he loved, and the next minute, he could hardly breathe for fear she had remembered, or was in the process of remembering, that she was not Bonnie at all.

"How’s the boy been today?" he asked.

"He’s been wonderful, Travis. He’s been fine. I’m sure he’ll be good for Mrs. Hensley Saturday night."

So, she hadn’t forgotten about the dance. "You didn’t mention that this morning. I thought maybe you’d changed your mind."

"Oh no, Travis. I want to go to the dance. I think it will be good to get to know people. You said we could go."

"I know," he said, wondering how he was going to get out of it without upsetting her too much. "It’s just that I’m gonna be embarrassed."

"Embarrassed?"

"Yea, like I said, I don’t know how to dance. Never danced in my life."

"And I said I would be glad to teach you."

She was set on it. Travis supposed the best thing for him to do now was to go along with her until the very last minute, then, somehow, come up with some reason why they couldn’t go. "All right, Bonnie, I reckon I can try to learn."

She smiled at him. "Would you like to practice now?"

"Oh, well, don’t you need music for dancin’?"

"I can sing a little. That will be good enough."

Audra did not know if she could bare to allow Travis to touch her. Of course, that would be necessary if she was to pretend to teach him to dance. It was odd how the return of her memory had altered the way she felt about him. How could she ever have thought she loved this man? He had told her they were married, told her they loved each other, and she had accepted it. How could that be? What she had not been able to recall, and she very much wanted to, was the circumstances under which she had come to be with Travis and James. Had they kidnapped her?

Had she lost her memory in an accident, and then gone with the Radfords willingly?

She stood up and held out her arms. He stood as well and moved toward her. She must pretend. If she was to see her family again, keep her child-----and her sanity, she must pretend.

She began to sing. Travis didn’t know the song, he didn’t know any songs, didn’t know music at all. But the sound of her voice was soothing. Her arms were open and she was smiling. He stepped close to her. She indicated that he should put his right arm around her, resting his hand on her back. She then took his left hand in her right hand. She continued to sing and started to sway. "Just follow me, step when I step. It will come easy."

And it did. Bonnie sung, and she danced. He moved with her. He said, "How am I doin’, Bonnie?"

"You are catching on quickly," she replied, and meant. Surprisingly, he was learning fast. No doubt he liked being in her arms, the sensual feelilng he got from being so close while they danced. Audra wanted him to like it, wanted him to love it, for his doing so would surely put them in Elk Grove on Saturday night. "You see," she told him. "You are going to have a great time at the dance."

The waiting was getting to Victoria. All alone, except for Silas, she wondered how much longer she could endure it without taking some action of her own. But what could she do? Her sons were all well ahead of her, and she didn’t even know in which direction they had gone. There was really nothing to do but wait. The feeling that Audra was alive remained strong. Victoria decided it would have to sustain her until she learned more.

His conversation with Mr. Green in the dry goods store behind him, Jarrod faced a dilemma. He felt positive it had been Audra the man had seen, and, his lawyer instincts told him Green was being truthful. If so, then his original gut feelilng, the one which kept him from telling his familiy what he’d witnessed the day she disappeared, had been correct.

Audra had left her home and family on her own. She had made the decision to do so to be with a man she loved and wanted to be with.

Green said the buckboard carrying Audra had headed North out of Lodi. It was decision time for Jarrod. Should he ride on North and look for her? He believed that is what his mother and brothers would want him to do. He mounted Jingo and followed what was now a very stale trail.

Even if he had to go home empty handed, at least he had something to tell the others, something which had reassurred him and hoped it would his family. If he found no further trace of his sister, he would ride on to Sacramento anyway. He had business he could take care of there while in the vicinity.