On this particular evening, all were present except Heath. For some reason, he had not returned home in time for dinner. Concern was finally voiced by Victoria as the nine o’clock hour approached. “I wonder what’s keeping Heath?”

"Oh, you know Heath, Mother," Nick replied, "He probably got involved in a card game in Stockton. No need to worry."

"I dare say, Nick is correct on that, Mother," Jarrod added. "He’ll be along."

Audra, tonight reading a book, laid it down on the table next to her. "Still, it isn’t like Heath to miss dinner. He loves Silas’ cooking."

Victoria began to form a reply, when the front door opened. "Oh, here he is now. Heath, we were only moments ago wondering why you weren’t home yet, Dear."

Heath, all smiles, stepped into the room with his family. "Ou yay ouldn’t sha ave hay orried way out abay e may."

"What in the---" Nick frowned.

"What did he say?" Audra asked.

"Heath, old friend," Jarrod then said. "I didn’t realize you spoke another language."

"Yes, this is a surprise," Victoria agreed, her brow wrinkled. "Of course, you realize, Dear, that none of us understood you. That wasn’t Spanish, was it?"

"Oh no, Mother," Audra said quickly. "I speak some Spanish. I didn’t recognize that at all."

"Me either," Nick growled. "What language is it, Heath?"

"Anguage lay?" Heath said, a questioning look on his face.

"Now see here, Heath!" an impatient Nick implored. "Fun is fun, and I suppose you think this is funny, but you’re the only one having fun----"

"Alright, Nick!" Victoria addressed her second son. "That will do. If Heath wants to have a little fun with us, then why not? After all, he’s usually a very serious young man. It never hurts to enjoy oneself."

"That’s right," Audra smiled. "Say something else in the language, Heath. I want to guess what it is."

"Ess gay?" Heath said, gesturing. "Ats way ou yay alkin’ tay out abay?"

Audra frowned. "I just don’t know what it is. Does anyone else?"

"No, I’m afraid I don’t," Jarrod replied, a troubled look on his face. "And I’m afraid that, perhaps, Heath doesn’t either."

"Is that a fact!" Nick roared. "Are you sayin’, Pappy, that Heath here is speakin’ a language that he don’t even know?"

"No, not exactly," Jarrod explained. "I’m saying I don’t think he knows what language it is."

"What’s the difference?" Nick asked.

"Well,----" Jarrod began.

"Never mind," Victoria interrupted. "Of course Heath knows what language he is speaking. Don’t you, Dear?"

"Ure shay," Heath said quickly. "Ish Englay."

"Oh my," Audra moaned. "He doesn’t seem to want to tell us."

"He told us," Nick said. "We just don’t understand what he said, that’s all."

Jarrod stepped up to Heath. "Perhaps I can guess, Heath. Is it some sort of French dialect that we haven’t heard much around here?"

Heath scowled deeply. "Ench fray? On’t day ow nay ench fray. On’t day ow nay anish spay. Ly ona ish englay."

"I dare say, we have a problem here," Jarrod told the others.

"Wait a minute!" Nick grinned. "He’s only puttin’ us on. C’mon, Heath, it’s time to stop playin’ games. Speak English!"

Heath appeared to be growing exasperated. He threw up his hands. "Oy bay owdy hay! at’s way ong ray ith way ou yay eople pay?"

Victoria appeared to want to take charge of the situation. She gently shoved the others aside and faced Heath squarely. "Young man. Now, you are too old to be treated like a child, but let me warn you, I will take action to punish you if you don’t stop this nonsense!"

"Aht way onsense nay?" Heath inquired, giving his mother a menacing look. He then pushed past her and headed for the stairway. "Ime tay or fay a ath bay."

"Well, that does it!" Nick proclaimed. "I’m gonna get Ciego to ride for the doctor. This boy is a sick calf."

Heath paused on the stairway. "Ick say alf cay? E may?" He then chuckled and started on up the stairs. The members of his family were left staring after Heath, puzzled expressions on their faces. Nick opened his mouth to announce he was, indeed, going for Ciego, but then Heath reappeared at the top of the stairs and let out a yell. "Ilas say!"

Within a few seconds, the Barkley servant, Silas, appeared in the room. "Yes, Mr. Heath," he said.

"Ath bay ater way eeded nay," said Heath.

"Yes sir, right away," Silas said, and proceeded to mount the stairs.

Astonished by the development, the other Barkleys could only stare. Nick found his tongue first. "Wait a minute! Silas, do you understand what Heath’s sayin’?"

Silas, caught between wanting to honor Heath’s request as quickly as possible, and also wishing to reply to Nick’s question, seemed to teter on the stairs for a moment. He decided to answer Nick first. "Why, yes, Mr. Nick. Mr. Heath says bath water is needed."

"That’s what he said, Silas? Are you sure?" Jarrod asked.

"Yes sir, Mr. Jarrod, I’m sure."

"What the devil is goin’ on here!" Nick exclaimed.

Victoria spoke up, "That’s quite amazing, Silas, that you understand whatever language it is that Heath is speaking tonight. None of us do. Would you mind telling us what it is?"

"Yes, Miz Barkley, that’s pig latin," said Silas, matter of fact.

"Pig Latin?" Jarrod reacted, as if he smelled something rotten.

"Pig Latin, is it?" Victoria was the next to speak. "How interesting."

"I didn’t know pigs had a language of their own," Audra said.

"Is that a fact!" Nick said, eyebrows arched. "Pig Latin! Hog wash! There’s no such language! Now, what’s the joke here!"

"Ig pay atin lay?" Heath said from his place at the top of the staircase. "At’s way at thay?"

"What’d he say, Silas?" Nick questioned the elderly man on the steps.

"He said ‘Pig Latin, what’s that?’" Silas furnished the translation.

"Good heavens," moaned Victoria. "I think you were on to something earlier, Jarrod. I don’t believe Heath knows he’s speaking a, uh, foreign language."

"I agree, Mother," Jarrod said.

"Don’t know he’s speakin’ another language!" Nick ranted. "How could he not know?"

"Oh Dear," Audra lamented. "This is so sad."

Victoria patted her daughter on the arm. "Now, now, Dear, don’t worry, we’ll get to the bottom of it."

Jarrod had a request for Silas. "Silas, would you mind being an interpreter for Heath?"

"An interpretor, Mr. Jarrod?"

"Yes, you see, we don’t understand this, uh, Pig Latin, and so, if you could tell us what he says when we ask questions of him, we would be very grateful."

Silas beamed. "Alright, Mr. Jarrod, I’ll do that."

"Thank you, Silas," Victoria said, then looked up at Heath. "Heath, Dear, do you understand that you are not speaking English this evening? Silas says you are speaking Pig Latin."

All eyes turned upward. Heath seemed impatient. "Oy bay owdy hay, other may! At’s thay azy cray!"

The focus of the family turned to Silas. "What’d he say?" asked Nick.

Silas obliged. "Boy howdy, Mother! That’s crazy!"

Jarrod had a go at it. "No, Heath, Mother’s correct. You are not speaking English. Now, it would seem to me as I observe the situation, that you don’t realize yourself----"

"Get to the point, will ya, Pappy!" Nick raved.

"Yes, well, Heath," Jarrod tried again. "Did something happen to you in town today? Did you take a bump on the head or anything like that?"

"Oh my, could that be it?" Audra wondered.

"It could very well be," Victoria said. "Heath, did something happen?"

Heath glared down at his family. "Appen hay? Ell way, et lay e may ink thay---"

Once again, Silas was called on. "Happen? Well, let me think," the servant interpreted.

"I hope he---" began Jarrod, but then stopped when Heath ran down the stairs. "Heath, what is it?"

"Have you thought of somethin’, boy?" Nick wanted to know.

"Urse cay!" said Heath vehemently. "At thay an may ut pay a urse cay on e may!"

"What’d he say, Silas?" Nick wanted to know again.

"Poor Mr. Heath," Silas said, his eyes growing large. "He said ‘that man put a curse on me."

"Oh Dear," Audra moaned.

"What man, Heath?" Jarrod quickly inquired. "Someone you saw today in Stockton?"

Heath thumped his forehead with his open palm. "Es yay. Oy bay owdy hay, I emember ray ow nay."

Nick started to ask Silas the now familiar question, but the older man answered before the second born Barkley could form the words. " He says, ‘Yes. Boy howdy, I remember now."

"What did he do to you, Heath?" Audra wanted to know.

"Yes, maybe we can undo it by doing the same thing in reverse or something," Victoria suggested.

"Mother, you are quite brilliant," Jarrod complimented. "What a good idea. What did he do to you, Heath? Can you tell us?"

Heath appeared to be thinking. Suddenly, he beamed. "E hay ade may e may ing say a ong say ackwards bay."

"That sounds terrible," Audra frowned. "What did he say, Silas?"

"Well, Miz Audra," Silas began. "Mr. Heath said ‘he made me sing a song backwards.’"

"Oh, well, that don’t sound so hard to undo. What song was it, Heath?" This from Nick.

"Ary may ad hay a ittle lay amb lay."

"What---?" Jarrod began.

"Mary Had A Little Lamb," provided Silas.

"Well, we all know that one," Victoria waxed optimistic. "Come on, Heath. Try to sing it. We’ll all sing along."

The Barkleys began to sing, Silas joining them. At first, Heath sang in Pig Latin, but when they reached the part about the fleece being white as snow, his words came out in English. There was, as might be expected, great cheering. "Well, Heath, you gave us a scare there," Nick told his brother. "Why, it would have been awful if you’d gone on speaking that peculiar language."