He was wishing he had never followed Heath, and that he didn't know about the horse, so he could be totally surprised, but he was still excited. Well at least as long as he didn't think about Coco. He thought Heath would need to be last, so by asking him early, he thought it would reaffirm that he had no idea what was coming. The others were doing a good job as well. They hadn't let anything slip. Preparing to put on his rain gear and make the trek to the line shack he was surprised by Heath's next comment.

"You will all have to come outside to the front porch in five minutes. I wish the rain had let up, but it hasn't so just wait under cover. Okay?" and he rose and left the house.

As he led the stallion out of his stall, he began once again crooning softly to him. "Today you'll meet Nick, fella. Come on with me. I know you don't want to get in this rain again, and neither do I. At least it isn't raining as steady as last night. Must be the drizzle before those dark clouds over yonder hit us again around noon. By then you'll be dry and I'll be wet again." He led the horse to the main entrance of the house and held the reins, waiting for the family to appear. As he waited he watched men coming out of the woodwork, like ants to a picnic, all staring at the magnificent stallion. "Well they like you boy, but it's Nick you gotta impress."

Just then the door opened and despite knowing Heath had been working on breaking a horse for Nick, nobody was prepared for the magnificence that greeted them. Even Nick had only seen the horse from a distance. Standing there, their mouths agape, Heath said, "Well Nick, come on over. He's all yours."

Although he had been prepared, Nick found he didn't have the words to express his feelings. As he moved toward the horse, to let it begin to get familiar with him, he noted the glistening black coat, the lightning white mane and tail, the white socks, and perfect blaze. The stallion stood a good seventeen hands high, and was perfectly proportional. He had a powerful chest, straight back, long legs, and more importantly a keen intelligence peered at him through the luminous black eyes. The horse was truly splendid.

The ranch hands were talking, the family was talking, Heath was talking, and Nick just stood there, completely stunned. As he continued to allow the horse to become familiar with him, he began to allow Heath's voice break through. As he tried to focus on his words, he finally heard, "You'll have to name him, and he's been gentle broke and is saddle ready, but no more. I thought you should be the one to put him through his paces."

"Heath, I don't know what to say."

Smiling tiredly, Heath said, "Say you like him, and if you want me to lead him back to the stable or would you like to do it.?"

He responded, "I like him Heath. I want to hear all about how you managed this. He's the stallion from the ridge, isn't he? I'll take him to the stable, then be right back."

As Nick took the horse, their eyes met briefly and Heath thought that maybe Nick's were a little brighter than usual. Feeling pleased, he watched Nick lead his new horse to the barn, and as he stood in the rain watching he overheard Victoria complain that she wished Nick didn't have to work on his birthday. Knowing that he would do anything to make her happy and give Nick a perfect birthday, he moved to talk to Jarrod.

"How about you and I do Nick's work today. That way he can clean his new guns, try on clothes, tell fishing tales, and just relax. He's been working so hard Jarrod, he could use the break."

"Right you are Heath. Any indoor jobs need doing?" Jarrod joked.

"Nice try. I expect you and I will be standing in about one to two feet of water all day. How does that sound?" he said with a yawn.

As Jarrod and Heath began making plans for their day, Audra caught Heath's second yawn of the morning, and hurriedly spoke to her mother

Nick entered the front door and began again to thank everyone for his gifts when they all heard Victoria state with a finality that no one was going to argue with, that she refused to have any of her son's working in the rain today. They could work twice as fast and hard tomorrow, if needed, but today they would all relax.

"Mother, Nick said, we can't do that. The sand bagging must be kept up. I don't want to lose Shiller field, and that bend leaked yesterday, until we got it repaired. I need to go check it again today."

"Nick, not today, and that's final. Have Harry coordinate the jobs, but you are all staying in. Now, Audra and I are going to the kitchen to work. Please do not disturb us."

As they ladies left, Victoria said, "Thanks for catching that Audra, the rest of us missed it. You and Heath are so in tune sometimes it amazes me, and then after a second she added, and other times not," as she thought back to Colleen, Audra's best friend, and the secret Colleen and Heath were keeping.

"Wonder what that was about, Nick questioned as he made up the job list for the foreman. We can't afford to just sit."

"Well I for one am going to take her advice. I think I'll get back to bed," Heath said as he wearily began climbing the stairs. Nick had liked his gift. He had done well. He let these thoughts run through his head as he slipped under the covers and slept for an undisturbed eight hours.

By one o'clock the cake was finished, complete with an entire ranch scene on top. Audra laughed that no matter where Nick cut the cake, everyone would still be eating beef for dessert. The cows were that plentiful.

"Let's go find the boys and play cards Mother." Audra said.

"Sounds fine. I have some reading to do," Victoria agreed. They joined Nick and Jarrod in the family room where the two were playing pool. Nick was losing.

"Now Jarrod, It's my birthday. I'm supposed to win," Nick grumbled.

"Just be glad you're not playing Heath," Jarrod stated.

"Speaking of your brother, where is he?" Victoria questioned.

"Still upstairs, sleeping I guess." Nick replied offhandedly

"Then I am glad that I refused to allow any of you to work today," she replied.

"Mother?" Jarrod and Nick questioned.

As she laughed, she explained that while the rest of them were oblivious, Audra had noticed his yawns, and put together how much work it must have been to move the horse from the line shack to the ranch last night, and then also clean him up so well.

"Hadn't thought about all that," Nick said as Jarrod nodded in agreement.

"Now who will play cards with me?" Audra questioned each in turn.

"You go ahead, Nick. I'll just sit and watch," Jarrod replied.

As the day progressed the group reminisced about other birthdays, each relating their favorite gifts, favorite parties, and favorite ages.

"It has been a nice group of birthdays, hasn't it Mother?" Audra said.

"Yes, dear, we are all very fortunate," she responded.

As Heath made his way downstairs, Jarrod looked up, eyes wide, and hurriedly whispered, "When's Heath's?"

Feeling much better, but still slightly sore, Heath entered the room to see four pairs of eyes trained on him.

"Did I mis button my shirt?" he joked in an attempt to take their focus off of him. God, they were quiet and still staring at him. What had he done?

"Heath?" Victoria rose, and taking his hands she led him to a chair.

The thoughts rushed through his head. *I don't know anybody I care about who might have died. The rain has slowed considerably, I doubt we've lost an orchard yet. They have proof that Tom isn't my father.* and as his world began to go black, Victoria asked, "When's your birthday?" Drawing a deep relaxing breath, he was relieved as he thought so that was what they wanted.

"May tenth. Why?" he replied.

"You should have said something Heath, Audra cried, we didn't know."

"It didn't worry me none, don't let it worry you." but as he said this all four pairs of eyes watched him twist the button on his shirt sleeve continuously.

"We'll make it up to you. Audra exclaimed, rising and becoming more animated. I can bake a cake............"

"No!" "This year is this year. Next year is next. I wasn't concerned, don't let it upset you We didn't even celebrate birthdays, except for a walk. Anyway it's taken me a long time to get used to this much fal de rah, but I guess everyone celebrates differently. You do what you can, he muttered lost in memories of his early birthdays, while still twisting the button.

To ease the tension, Nick said, "Pool Heath?"

The entire family was amused by Heath's response of, "Are you sure you want to get beat on your birthday?"

Slapping Heath's back and laughing, Nick said "It's a Barkley law that you get to win on your birthday!"

"Don't believe him Heath," Jarrod said conspiratorially. I already won one."

As Nick moved to the pool table calling "I break," he was astonished as Heath promptly beat him four games in a row.

"I think that's enough for now. How long have you been holding back, boy."

"Just lucky today, big brother. Just lucky," Heath grinned.

Almost immediately, Silas announced that dinner was served. Victoria offered Nick her arm, while Heath took Audra's. Jarrod followed behind anxious to see what his Mother had set up this year. Each of them had something special done for them on their birthdays. Audra, always had a fancy dress party, with a different theme. This year it had been, the masquerade, and everyone invited had come masked. At midnight you revealed who you were. It truly had been fun, although he hadn't admitted it. He usually had a practical joke played on him, as his birthday was March 16^th. They carried on the leprechaun idea, to this day, and he had to look carefully and try to deduce what the trick was. Usually he failed. This year had been the same. The trick, was that there wasn't a trick. Nick's birthday usually had an outdoor theme. Nick loved being outside, and this time of year was usually cooped up. So, Mother and Father, had decorated to turn the indoors into the outdoors for Nick. Jarrod was anticipating what she and Audra had done to the dining room this year.

"Would you look at that," Nick exclaimed, entering the dining room. No one had been allowed in the room all day and Nick was very surprised to see what his Mother and sister had achieved. Each year the decorations were spectacular, and wondering about them was always fun, but this year they had outdone themselves.

Everyone was delighted when they looked at the transformation. Not only had Silas set the table and provided Nick's favorite meal, but the dining room had been turned into a full scale diorama, reminiscent of a camping trip.

Blue was Nick's favorite color, and it was in abundance The ceiling had been draped in deep blue sheets, and covered with sewn on stars. Jarrod could recognize his Mother's and sister's hand in the stitching. Plants had been moved in to surround the table. Another pale blue cloth was placed on the floor with wrinkles, that resembled waves. It was embroidered with fish. Nick's new fishing gear was set up to suggest that a fisherman was nearby, waiting for a good catch. Sleeping bags, were rolled out on the floor, and a tent stood open on one side.

As Nick, began to examine the room in depth, they heard a bird call. "Mother, don't you think live birds is carrying the theme to far?" Nick said.

"Nick, I didn't bring in birds, live or caged. I don't understand where the bird came from."

As they were discussing the bird, they heard the call once more. Then again, and again. Each call sounding a bit different.

"I don't see any birds," Audra said, looking under the tablecloth for them.

"Nor do I sis," Nick added, looking at the tops of the curtains, to see if they were up there.

"Well, there must be birds here somewhere, Audra stated still searching, I refuse to eat food in the dining room, if there are birds flying overhead."

Hearing the chirping again, Jarrod moved toward the sound. As the rest of his family frantically searched for the birds, Jarrod finally found what he was looking for. He saw Heath and Silas making bird calls to each other from behind the potted trees. Deciding to see how long the ruse could continue, he cupped his hands and added a loud whippoorwill call to the myriad of birds now filling their home.

"Was that a whippoorwill?" Victoria asked, thoroughly confused.

"Couldn't have been, Mother, they don't even live here," Nick answered.

As Jarrod began making the call again, he noticed Silas leave the room and Heath move from behind the plant toward him. As the Whippoorwill call left his lips, he felt his younger brothers hand on his sleeve, and heard him say, "Well look at what I found. Your bird is a Ruby throated Lawyer."

"Jarrod, Nick exclaimed, as the entire family turned to look at him, that wasn't funny."

"Boy howdy, it sure wasn't, Heath added, a disgusted look on his face, but pure devilment in his eyes.

"Now Heath," Jarrod started, only to be interrupted by Victoria saying,"enough if this foolishness, Nick's birthday dinner will be cold if we don't eat soon."

Moving beside Heath, Jarrod said, "just wait," and was shocked when he saw Heath stick his tongue out at him. His brother must be coming out of his shell. This was the second time he'd seen Heath pull a practical joke.

Taking their places around the table, they said grace, then dug into the meal that was exactly what Nick had promised Heath it would be. They had steak, potatoes, gravy, mushrooms, bread and Heath figured that since Nick had mentioned chocolate cake, that they would have it for dessert. The table conversation was light, and centered around the decorations. Nick remarked how pleased he was, since he never got to go camping on his birthday. The weather, virtually never permitted it. He also fondly spoke of the one year when he was fourteen, and they had gone camping. Finally the meal was brought to an end, when Nick declared that he was done. Again Victoria marveled at how much he could eat.

Silas, who must have been waiting to see Nick lay aside his fork, poked his head around the corner and asked, "now Mrs. Barkley?"

"Yes, Silas, she said rising, but I want to help with the presentation."

"May I as well, Mother?" Audra asked.

"Of course, you get our special gift, and I will bring in the cake with Silas."

"Certainly," and Audra too, left the table.

"Special gift? Jarrod and Nick, said in unison, what do you think she means by that?"

As Audra entered carrying a large, wrapped package, Silas and Victoria entered, rolling a huge cake toward Nick, borne on the enormous tea cart. As they placed it in front of Nick, the family began singing:

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Nicholas,

Happy birthday to you.

Their voices blending in harmony, from Audra's perfect soprano, to the deep baritone of Jarrod's voice, mixing with the high and low ends of the alto range that Heath and Victoria contributed, thus adding depth to the often heard words.

Nick stood silently, accepting the tribute, while he gazed at the cake with wonder. As the song ended, he quietly said, "Thank you. I really don't believe what I'm seeing." The cake he was staring at was a detailed relief map of the Barkley holdings, complete with: hills, valleys, a miniature house, corals, horses, timber, orchards, a mine entrance, gold dust (which he assumed was colored sugar), and cows. An entire herd of cows! The cattle that made running this ranch into his dream job.

Ranching was his life. It was in his blood. His mother and sister not only took him camping for his birthday but they gave him the ranch on a silver platter.

"Magnificent," Jarrod exclaimed.

Noting that his brother was overwhelmed, Heath said, "Boy Howdy, but that would feed the entire valley. Nick, when do we get some?"

Picking up on Heath's intentions, Audra added, "Yes Heath, I told Mother that no matter where Nick cuts the cake, we will still be having beef, even for dessert."

At that everyone laughed, and Nick said, "who wants what?," as he picked up the knife to cut his cake. As each person ate a good chunk of the Barkley ranch, Victoria handed Nick the last gift.

"Mother?" Nick questioned.

"No explanations, just open it."

As the paper once again fell in a heap to the floor, Nick pulled out a quilt, and opening it, was treated to a work of art, depicting scenes from his life on the ranch. As emotion once again overwhelmed him, he found his birth date, embroidered over his bedroom on the house. There was the date he got Coco, embroidered over a horse, the date of each land acquisition, and the dates went on and on, each bringing up loving memories of his life with his family.

A whispered, "Mother, did you......" was interrupted by, "Yes, dear. I did. Now lets finish the cake and go play some birthday games."

The family enjoyed themselves well into the night, but finally it was time to retire. Heath and Jarrod were the first to turn in, claiming that they both had busy days ahead of them. Next went Victoria, which left Nick very frustrated. He had wanted to speak with his mother, and now he would have to wait. Waiting didn't suit him!

"Well Audra, guess I'll turn in too," he mentioned, as he moved to the stairs.

"I'll join you, wait up."

As they went upstairs, Audra put her hand on Nick's shoulder, stopping his forward progress.

"Happy Birthday, big brother," she said.

As he resumed his climb, he thought better of it, and turned to see her standing still, watching him. As he looked at her, he found he could contain his question no longer.

"Audra, why the gift at dinner?"

Softly she uttered, "Nick, sometimes you forget that you are special to us. It was to be for Christmas, but Mother and I thought you could use a reminder of how loved you are, right about now."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she climbed the stairs to his side and tenderly kissed his cheek, as she looped an arm around his waist. This gesture eased Nick greatly, as he released his anger. Anger he hadn't admitted to. He hadn't realized he felt he was losing his sister to his new brother. It wasn't so. He had been distant for months, and had been becoming more so. His mother and sister were bringing him home.

Arm in arm, the two turned and went back to the dining room. Nick drew Audra down by the fake lake, and as he fingered her gifts, the two talked well into the night. He learned a lot. Things that he needed to know. He was indebted to his sister for reminding him that he mattered. Mattered as much as his blonde haired brother. They not only had love, they had history. No matter what they did for him, Heath would never share that. It had taken a quilt, his sister, and a stallion in the stable, to show him that his family cared. His entire family cared. He might not have realized it before, but Heaths' coming was a blessing, and after all the rough spots were smoothed out, they would all be richer for it. He in some ways more than the others.

As the night drew to a close, they returned upstairs, arm in arm, and as Audra entered her room Nick heard, "I love you , big brother. Never forget it again. If you do get lost again there is a small heart on the quilt with an A beside it dated, Feb. 14, 1862.

"I don't remember Audra. What is that date?"

"It's the day you beat up Gil and Nate, because they called me ugly and stupid. You were then, and have always been my protector."

Blinking his eyes hard, he moved into his room and went to bed, the quilt held tight in one hand.

Nick's restful sleep was rudely interrupted, by Heath's forceful knocks, followed by, "Out of bed, we've got work to do. See you downstairs for breakfast."

Grumbling, Nick cleaned up and threw on his work clothes, knowing the next few weeks would be long. Refusing to look outside and see even more rain, he decided to eat breakfast in peace, then greet the work day. As he arrived at the table, he heard the conversation in full swing, Jarrod and Victoria at opposite ends, speaking happily for all to hear.

"Good morning, Nick, Jarrod greeted him. Have you looked outside yet this morning?"

"No I was saving that pleasure til later," he said, sarcastically.

"Never fear, Nick. The rains have let up."

"What!" he exclaimed, rushing to the window and peering outside. Sure enough, although the clouds were dark, they weren't ominous. It looked like they might get a days reprieve before the rains began again.

Smiling happily, he turned to Heath and said, "you know what this means, don't you?"

"Yep Nick. I get to spend the day only standing in ankle high water."

"Hey, you're right. I just decided I'm going to leave you in charge, while I spend the day with my new horse, Lightning."

"Aptly named," Jarrod said.

Heath thought, *I still prefer Thunder,* but before mentioning it, he changed his mind. He had no hold on the horse, and Nick didn't need the guilt.

"Lightning, it is, he affirmed. Tell me what you think of him when I get back tonight."

Grabbing his coat, he headed out to get the men back to the levees, to see what damage the torrential rains had caused. It was a grueling task, and he had been right about the ankle high water. When the days work was completed, he turned Gal around and headed to George's.

Having completed his gifts for Christmas, just before Nick's birthday, Heath had no reason to return to George and Edna's, however he was drawn back, almost on the same schedule as before. He could tell that the cold weather was hard on George, even though he refused to admit it. Edna too was worried, so Heath happily helped out when they would allow it. He mended the house roof this time, since a water spot had appeared. They also allowed him to chop some more of the firewood into manageable sizes that they could handle easily.. He spent one evening just moving firewood from the barn to the house. He would often stay for a cup of coffee, and a leisurely chat before he returned home. They learned about Nick's birthday, enjoyed hearing about the stallions progress, and laughed at Audra's attempts at making a perfect Beef Wellington. Edna failed to mention that she also heard about these things from Victoria. They had kept in close contact since meeting each other.

As Heath headed home, his thoughts turned to the upcoming weeks. It seemed to him like it would be a dreary few weeks, the only break being Thanksgiving, before the Christmas season was upon them. He was not looking forward to Christmas.

The rains continued to fall on and off the entire time, keeping the ranchers hopping, but it did little to dampen the Thanksgiving spirit, as each gave thoughts to what they were thankful for.

The ranch hands had the day off, and the ones who had no place to go, were treated to a full Thanksgiving feast, compliments of the Barkley family. While Silas cooked his first Thanksgiving meal of the day, the family continued the tradition of visiting good friends. Audra and Jarrod were left at the ranch to receive guests, while Victoria, Nick, and Heath accompanied her on her rounds.

To the boys the rounds were tedious. Nick and Heath sat quietly with Victoria, and endured what they termed, useless prattle. Finally, after their sixth stop of the morning, Victoria announced that the next stop was their last. Laughing, as both boys cheered, she told Nick to head to Edna's. As Heath turned white with shock, Nick replied that he didn't know where she lived. Victoria directed him, explaining their place was nestled, just off the north side of their ranch, near the Black Diamond Hills.

"You'd have thought I'd have noticed their house," Nick stated.

"You've never noticed it Nick? Heath said, I've seen it, but then again I spend more time working this end of the ranch, while you work the south side, where the cattle are."

"True Heath, true. That must be it."

The next half hour loomed like a brick wall to Heath. He needed to be able to sit there, and not give anything away, either in word or action, and his mother was very observant. Also, while he hated lying, lying on Thanksgiving seemed criminal.

As Nick pulled the buggy as close to the door as possible, Victoria dismounted and knocked, Heath by her side, and Nick rapidly approaching.

Opening the door, Edna exclaimed, "Victoria, how lovely to see you. These must be your boys, Nick and Heath, is it. Pleased to meet you both. Victoria has told me so much about you. Come on in. Make yourself comfortable."

Heath smiled as she led them to the small living room, talking a mile a minute. As they all took seats, Victoria passed Edna a large basket, filled with preserves and canned vegetables that had been put up earlier that year, saying "Happy Thanksgiving."

"How very generous Victoria. Would you enjoy some tea? Nick, Heath, anything for you?"

"No Ma'am," Heath fairly spat.

"Nothing for me either," Nick politely replied.

"Victoria, you then?"

"Yes, thank you. Tea sounds pleasant." And over a nice warm cup of tea the ladies talked.

Heath didn't say a word, just sat gratefully, that Edna never once let on that they knew each other. He was going to make it home free and clear.

As he relaxed, George entered, and seeing Heath said "Heath, what are you doing here I ..........

"Uh, Mr., uh, George, I came with my mother," Heath added quickly before George could finish his sentence.

Victoria, engaged in close conversation with Edna, was unaware, but Nick sensed something was going on, and asked, "Heath, how do you know Mr. Temple?"

"We met and spent a few minutes together at the auction Nick," he hastily answered, while giving thanks that Nick had asked him and not George. He might hate lying, but George was as good at lying as he was at carpentry. Heath settled back and decided to stay silent the rest of the visit.

As the visit wore on, Nick grew bored, and patience was not a virtue he enjoyed, so he decided to start a conversation with the only male that looked like he might speak.

"George, what exactly does your farm produce?" Nick probed.

George quickly replied, "Peach orchard. Almond orchard, corn and hay. Edna grows vegetables for us."

"Place looks in good repair," Nick tried again.

"Yep," came the monosyllabic answer.

"You raise animals?" it was Nick's last try, before he resigned himself to more silence.

"I have a cow, a pig, a horse, and some chickens. Why!?" George answered so brusquely that Nick knew the why, implied shut up!

"Sounds interesting," Nick replied, more to get in the last word than anything. He was sure not another word would be uttered among the men. He was almost correct. As they took their leave, he noticed George lean over and speak briefly to Heath. He noticed Heath's lips twitch, but no matter how he pestered Heath on the way home, he could get no answer from his brother.

Heath was still laughing inwardly, at George's parting words. He had said, "Didn't I do good son. I didn't tell that boy nothing. What a loudmouth."

While they were making calls, Jarrod and Audra were busy receiving callers as well. From ten until noon, a steady stream of guests had entered their home. The tea pot had been refilled, the snacks consumed and replenished, and the door closed so many times that they were exhausted, and ready for some quiet time. Thinking that they had just closed the door on their last caller, they were starting to straighten up, when they heard the distinctive sound of their door knocker once again. Exchanging surprised glances, Jarrod headed to the door, and stopped when Silas reached it first. Resuming his place beside Audra, he waited to see who was there.

"Mrs. Mary McDougal and Colleen, Sir," Silas intoned in his most masterful voice.

As Jarrod welcomed them to the house and indicated chairs, Mary promptly took one, while Colleen embraced Audra, whispering in her ear, "Could I speak to you privately before we leave?"

"I'll find a way," Audra whispered back.

After a few minutes of pleasantries had passed, Audra said, "Mrs. McDougal, Jarrod, would you excuse Colleen and myself briefly? I need some advice on a dress for church next week."

"Of course Audra, Jarrod said, I'd be happy to enjoy more of Mrs. McDougals company."

Mrs. McDougal also added her consent, and the two friends went quickly to Audra's room, knowing they would only have about ten minutes, before they would have to return downstairs. Closing the door Audra turned expectantly to Colleen, and said, "Okay, tell me. Is it about a man? Do you have a boyfriend? Is he gorgeous?"

"Audra," Colleen's tone stopped her fantasies, and caused her to refocus on her best friends face.

"I'm sorry Colleen, you wanted to talk with me?"

Colleen had given this conversation a lot of thought, and although apprehensive, felt she needed to speak her mind. Could she do it and not let Audra know she cared deeply for Heath?

"Yes, Audra, I want to talk to you about what happened at the festival."

"When?" Audra questioned.

"I was there when your mother gave Heath that coat, and he didn't seem real pleased. Did you notice?"

Finding this conversation odd, Audra answered, "yes, I'm sure he wanted to pick one out for himself. Why?"

"Well I thought about it a lot Audra, and I see Nick in town often, and of course Jarrod works there, but Heath is hardly ever there."

"Colleen, that's why he didn't have a coat! He kept saying he had to get to town to buy one every time Mother asked him where his coat was."

"Maybe that's it, Colleen said, but perhaps he didn't understand how things work. He doesn't wear many new clothes compared to Nick and Jarrod."

"Well he works a lot, maybe he doesn't care about how he looks, Audra replied, but I don't see what it matters to you."

*Oh this was going badly* Colleen thought. Audra was misunderstanding all her hints, and she couldn't find a way to get it said without saying she thought that they had neglected to explain things to Heath about money.

"Audra, I'm trying to say that maybe...........

"Yes Jarrod, were coming, Audra yelled. Sorry Colleen, your mother is ready to leave. You can tell me later this week. Okay?"

"Sure Audra," she replied. They both left Audra's room feeling very confused and frustrated.

After their guests left Jarrod asked, "Did you sort out your dress problem?"

"There was no dress problem!" Audra snapped.

"Then I must admit to being confused. I seem to recall that you were going upstairs to ask Colleen for dress advice."

"Jarrod, she said exasperated, that was just to have time alone."

"Of course," he smiled, and let it drop.

About ten minutes later Audra said "Jarrod? Colleen was trying to tell me something, but I'm not sure what. We've never had trouble talking before. Why would she think I wanted to know about Heath's coat?"

"Heath's coat. Why don't you start at the beginning."

"Well Jarrod, she said taking his hand and leading him to a chair, she asked if Heath seemed upset when Mother gave him the coat. I said yes, he wanted to get his own, then she said that you and Nick were in town a lot but Heath wasn't. She also said that she had never seen him in much new clothes, like she did you and Nick. I said he probably didn't care about new clothes much and she said something that really confused me. She said maybe he didn't understand. Understand what Jarrod? That he would look better in a different color shirt. That girls would like him more if he had different clothes. I'm just so confused."

"I must admit I'm stumped as well. Don't let it concern you. She will tell you later."

"Okay Jarrod, thanks. Now lets get this place cleaned up. Mother, Nick and Heath should be back any minute, and I can smell the turkey. I bet dinner will be about two today."

As they cleared, the front door opened and the rest of the family entered. They all talked about their respective visits, Nick stating, quite forcefully, that he was glad that they only did this three times each year. It was all he could stand. Heath joked, that watching Nick stay still for so long, was a treat for him. Victoria left to check on Thanksgiving dinner and finally Silas announced that it was ready.

The dining room was elegantly laid out, with fine china and crystal. The turkey was perfectly presented on a large platter, surrounded by candied apples and brussel sprouts. There were mounds of mashed potatoes, and gravy was almost overflowing the sides of the sterling gravy boat. Dressing was in abundance, as well as fresh bread, and Victoria's cranberry preserves. Local Cabernet Sauvignon was the wine of the night, and the crystal goblets contained iced water. Pumpkin pie was for dessert.

Taking their places, Heath once again was overwhelmed by the bounty of food before him. He knew the remains wouldn't go to waste, but still seeing this much food at one time astounded him. He kept thinking he would get used to it, but it seemed that the more he found placed in front of him, the less he ate.

After the prayers were said, Heath picked up his fork, when Victoria raised her glass and began speaking. Heath let his fork drop back to his napkin as she said,"Today is Thanksgiving. A day to celebrate all the riches we have in our lives. I am asking each one of you to tell what you are thankful for today. Nick, as you are on my right, please go first."

As Nick began, Jarrod's gaze was focused on Heath. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, but he couldn't bring it to the forefront.

Heath, too, was thinking. He was trying to come up with something to say, but nothing fit. This must be another tradition. Well next year he would be ready, but what would he say this year. He needed time to think. Let's see. He was thankful he wasn't on Victoria's right. He was thankful to have a roof over his head, this year. He was thankful to be dry. Thankful they let him stay. Thankful for George and Edna, thankful for Colleen, thankful Gal was okay, thankful he got to ride Charger last week, thankful for pumpkins, thankful for them, his family, but how did he say what he felt? The thoughts kept coming but the words refused to do so. He refused to blurt out something like, I'm thankful for gravy. Good Lord where had that come from?

"Happily Mother, Nick replied. I am thankful that the rains stopped before destroying everything that so many have worked so hard for."

Jarrod continued, by adding, "In that vein brother, I am thankful that when tragedy has befallen those we know, that we have been fortunate enough to be able to aid them ourselves."

Next, Audra said, "I am thankful for the orphanage, for Father Joseph, and for all the children that they help."

All eyes next centered on Heath, and after a seconds hesitation, it hit him. It was the words to his mama's prayer. Offering his mama, a silent thank you for guiding him right now, he said, "I am thankful for the food that we are about to receive."

Victoria knew that of all the words spoken at the table, Heath's were the most heartfelt. She followed with, "I am thankful to have my family, healthy, and gathered around me as we celebrate."

Once again Jarrod saw Heath lift his fork, then set it back down, as Victoria requested that Jarrod do the honors of carving the turkey.

"Certainly Mother," he said. Taking the stag handled carving set, he sharpened the knife and deftly carved the Thanksgiving turkey into thin slices of meat. As he laid down the carving set, he saw Heath look at his fork, but refrain from reaching for it. Finding it endearing, he said, " Dinner is officially served," and was rewarded with Heath's grin as the fork this time stayed in his hand.

Everyone was thoughtful and quiet, as they gave thanks for their good fortune and the clank of cutlery could be heard as Nick's voice, for once, wasn't overshadowing it. As their stomachs filled, and the wine bottle emptied, the conversation grew louder. Finally Heath noted, that you could once again hear Nick and very little else. He hadn't been paying attention, but it sounded like Nick and Audra were talking about a Christmas dance, and he fully listened when Nick mentioned asking Virginia Wheeler to go with him.

At that, he said, "Are you nuts."

To which Nick replied, "I may be, but I think I kind of like her."

As Audra brought up her friends and their likely partners, Colleen's name was mentioned. This led Jarrod to think back to the conversation with Audra, and as he did that nagging feeling grew. How frustrating this was. It was like this when he was working on a case, and the answer to freeing a client was visible but he still couldn't grasp it. When the answer finally did come to him, the relief he felt was palpable. That was the feeling he had now. A nagging feeling that something had been overlooked, but the harder he tried to pin it down, the further it retreated from his mind. He worried his way through his dessert of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, barely tasting a bite.

Nick refused a slice, and returned to his tirade against the orange beasts. He and Heath traded banter, one extolling the virtues of the pumpkin, the other denigrating their existence.

Jarrod looked at Nick. Nick looked fine. He looked at Heath. Heath looked fine.

Think Jarrod...... his mind screamed.......think! Maybe more wine would clarify the situation. Pouring himself a last glass, he stared at the patterns it made on the white starched tablecloth. They had used this tablecloth at every Thanksgiving he could remember. *Funny thing about traditions, you just take them for granted, and he pictured Heath picking up his fork and returning it. What were his Thanksgivings like? Did he celebrate any? He hadn't known what to expect tonight. How could he his mind screamed again. No one explained to him what to expect. How many times had this occurred. Instantly he could picture at least five. The first dinner Heath had with them, the table fully set, Easter, his mother's birthday, the fourth of July, heck you would have thought that he had never seen fireworks before, and tonight. They hadn't told him what to expect, but he adapted well. Nope this wasn't it. The angle was wrong, the feeling was still there, nagging him. Well maybe it will come to me Jarrod decided, as Silas cleared the table.

As the family left the Thanksgiving table, Heath said, "I need some exercise. Think I'll go for a ride. See you later." He was out the door before anyone could protest.

"He loves riding," Audra smiled as she moved to the piano to play a few songs before there annual Thanksgiving game of charades began. " I was hoping to be his partner, but I guess it'll be you and I again this year, Nick."

As the family played charades, Heath rode. He would have liked to have stayed home, if just to avoid the questions that would come when he returned, but the need to leave was stronger. Riding over the now very familiar terrain, he tied Gal in front of George and Edna's and went inside, with out even knocking.

"Happy Thanksgiving," he said as Edna jumped up to hug him. He was getting used to it finally. He shook George's offered hand and sat at the table as they requested.

"Can I get you something, Heath," Edna fussed.

"Actually we just ate, but if you have cornbread, I might have a slice." He asked for the cornbread because he knew they would be upset if he didn't eat, and he could see the crumbs by George's place, where Edna hadn't finished cleaning yet.

"Here you go Heath. So glad to see you," Edna said, handing him a huge hunk of cornbread. Doing his best to eat his way through the enormous piece, he allowed himself to relax. He needed to spend Thanksgiving in both houses.

"Well Heath, don't just sit there and eat, tell me how I did this afternoon?" George said gruffly, trying to hide his concern that he might have caused Heath problems. They all knew that Heath's being with them was a secret he kept from his family.

"You did great, George, Heath answered. Nick pestered me the whole way home asking what you said to me as we left. I told him that you said he talked a lot." With that they both laughed, and Edna sat back to enjoy the view.

How she had wanted children. She felt so fortunate that George had just accepted things and never sought to hold her accountable. In Heath they had found their son. George had already drawn up a will, leaving Heath their property, when they had both passed over, but it was a secret they would take to their graves. Heath would be furious if he found out, and they didn't want to face him. She felt safer, and smiled at the image of Heath, yelling at their gravestones, his fists clenched, his face red, but too late to do anything about it. Finally she began laughing as well, the image being to much to take.

George and Heath stopped talking to look at her. "Something funny?" Heath asked.

"Yes, but you wouldn't understand," she giggled, knowing George would get a kick out of it later that night. As her laughter subsided, George proposed a game of Hearts.

"Sounds like a fine idea to me," Heath said, and Edna agreed. Three games later a fuming George, was bidding goodbye to a victorious Heath, as he decided he'd better get back home. As George shut the door, he held onto Edna, trying to hold on to some of the warmth that seemed to have left when Heath did.

On the ride home, he contrasted the two homes. It was so easy at George and Edna's. There were no expectations to live up to, no glaring mistakes to be made, just easy comfort. Somehow thought, the elegance was missing, and he was coming to enjoy that as well, since it was always done with love, not for show. Remembering the first time he'd had raisin bread at home, they placed it on the sideboard on the very best silver platter they owned. He had felt so honored. Both ways felt good. Both came from love. He was lucky.

Reaching the house he entered quietly, as he could hear riotous laughter coming from inside, and he just wanted to observe for a bit. What he saw amazed him. They were all gathered in the parlor, and Nick was standing in the center of the group.

He listened as Audra said,"First word, little word. A? And? The?"

As Nick pointed to his nose, Aurda said, "the , the" and at Nick's nod she said, "Second word," and Nick dropped to his knees on the floor. As he crawled around wiggling his rear end, Audra, Victoria, and Jarrod all collapsed in a fit of laughter. Heath was hard pressed not to join them but really wanted to see what would happen, so he pursed his lips and continued to view the strange goings on.

Finally Audra choked out, "sheep?"

Now Nick was shaking his head no, and his rear end moved in time to his head. Once again she laughed uncontrollably. "Nick, this isn't helping. Are you an animal?"

"We can see that sis, but you can't ask questions," Jarrod ever practical managed to choke through his laughter.

Now Nick was shaking his head yes to Audra's question, and shaking his rear end, making him look like a love sick seal. Audra couldn't even get a word out, when Nick got disgusted and stood up. He thought his dog was exceptional.

"Audra, he snapped, think, try again!"

This sent Victoria over the edge, as she grasped her sides in pain.

"Now watch me closely," he said, resuming his on all fours position and again shaking his rear end, this time getting the brilliant idea to pretend to chase his tail as Audra's dogs did. Crawling frantically in ever widening circles, he was gratified when Audra choked out "Dog?"

Pointing once again to his nose, he heard Audra say "The dog______. Last word."

Staying on all fours he planted his rear on the floor the spitting image of a dog sitting up, then he stuck out his tongue and breathed loudly. At just that minute, three things happened.

Audra yelled " Pants. The dog pants!"

Heath collapsed on the floor, grasping his sides and laughing uncontrollably.

And Jarrod noticed Nick was wearing new pants, while Heath was wearing the same ones he always wore, and that they looked a little thin. The nagging feeling stopped, as the light went on, only to be replaced by a feeling of enormous guilt.

Heath didn't understand their traditions.

Heath didn't understand their methods.

Heath didn't understand!

Heath didn't understand that he could buy things.

Heath didn't understand how they handled the finances.

Heath didn't understand that he had money.

His laughter instantly stopping, he gazed at his brother, laughing on the floor. He had to take care of this issue immediately. Heath needed to know, and know now. How could they have overlooked this. This was important! He decided to briefly talk with his mother first, to see if she wanted it handled any special way, and to fill her in, but he assumed everyone had thought he'd already told Heath. He was guilty of neglect. He had never thought about the finances, just added Heath's name to the list and done for him what he did for the others. He had assumed Heath would know. He should have known better. Lawyers never assume they assure. As self inflicted recriminations consumed him, he grew short tempered, and everyone called a halt to the evening, each deciding to do their own things.

Victoria and Heath were reading, Audra was embroidering, and Nick was playing solitaire. Jarrod was brooding.

"Mother, may I see you in my office?" he snapped.

Angry at her sons tone, Victoria glared at him, only to see what looked like grief on his face. Allowing her anger to pass, she said, "Coming," and rose to follow his quickly departing form.

As she entered, he shut the door behind her, and dropped into his chair.

"Jarrod?" she questioned, concerned for her eldest son.

"In a minute Mother, I need to get this right."

Allowing him the same silence she often gave Heath, she noted that he gripped the edges of his desk forcefully, but kept his head bent. Knowing that he only did this when he was feeling guilty, she waited for him to speak. Guilt was hard for all her children. Each tried to do the best they could. Each felt compelled to live up to an unknown standard, and if they fell short they would hit themselves over the head forever, allowing it to eat away at them until they finally relented and talked it through. Puzzled she could think of nothing that could have put Jarrod in such a state.

He had won his last four cases, he and Helen were seeing each other, he wasn't angry with any family member, even the Willit's loan had been handled gracefully and gladly accepted. Patience, Victoria, she thought, patience. Finally he was talking.

"Mother, I've hurt Heath, Served him a terrible injustice." His dramatic tone lent emphasis to his words and brought his guilt to life.

"I don't understand," was all she added.

"I never explained to him that he had money. Nine months Mother, nine months. How do you make that up to him?"

"Jarrod, I'm sure he knows, she began, then sat down hard, remembering the coat and his extra embarrassment. He hand covering her mouth, she exclaimed, "Oh, Jarrod, then after taking a moment to compose herself she added, I'd just assumed...........

"That I'd taken care of it. Yes I know Mother. I know." he interrupted, the self loathing evident.

"No, Jarrod, I'd just assumed he'd know. Why would you be any different. Nobody has known or they would have said something. We must fix this now, but Jarrod, feeling guilty for an honest oversight won't help. There have been so many changes and upheavals, that some things are bound to slip through the cracks. How did you figure it out?"

"I feel even worse about that. I didn't figure it out first, Colleen did. She tried to tell Audra today, but they left before she could finish."

When Jarrod left to get Heath, Victoria offered up a prayer of thanks that Colleen was looking out for her son as well.

As they both entered, Victoria thought, somewhat humorously, that both looked like they were going in front of a firing squad. Her unintentional, short burst of laughter helped ease the tension in the room.

Jarrod motioned Heath to a chair, and took a seat behind his desk. This time Heath chose to remain standing as the fear assailed him once again. This was it! Attempting to quiet the demons, and trust, he gazed at the floor as Jarrod began speaking, in what Heath termed lawyer lingo. Detached and factual, feeling nothing. That was the voice he was using.

As the fear built, and the band once again began constricting Heath's soul Jarrod said "Heath, I've been very neglectful, and I intend to remedy that situation right now."

That didn't sound like what he expected a leave immediately bastard speech should sound like. Paying closer attention, he brought his eyes up, and looked at both Victoria and Jarrod..

Jarrod continued to say, "I neglected to tell you how the finances worked. I keep an account for each of the family members, and make regular deposits for everyone based on the ranches profits for the quarter. The money is yours when ever you need it. Also for casual purchases, like clothes, work gear, books, etc., we operate on credit in Stockton. You pick out what you need, and then sign your name to the tab. These are sent to me monthly and I pay them out of a household fund. If you will come around here, I'll show you your account balance, and give you your bank number."

Heath turned to Victoria and saw her nod, so he did as instructed. What Jarrod showed him, left him breathless. He had never seen a number that big in his entire life applied to him. Not even the number on his Carterson prison shirt was that big.

"Are you telling me that this is mine," he said shocked.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you weren't aware sooner."

"I can't accept this," he stated flatly.

"It's not a matter of accepting it, Victoria spoke, its yours. Yours for all the work you do, yours for your share of the ranch, yours for being a Barkley."

"It's too much. I don't deserve this. If you insist maybe you could just pay me a cow hands wages."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Heath." Victoria said.

"Never," Jarrod added. Heath you're a Barkley. You share in the good and the bad."

"I thought I was the bad." he stated.

"Heath, Victoria spoke sharply, I never want to hear anything like that out of you again. Do you understand? You're a wonderful part of this family. I've always tried to show you that," she said placing her hands on his tense shoulders.

Sitting down, Heath said, "this will take some getting used to. Don't expect any big bills from me Jarrod, an occasional shirt maybe. Nothing much."

"You don't need to justify your expenses. We trust you as each of us trusts each other. We expect you to trust us as well."

He hated the word trust. It was so hard! Heath just sat there looking stunned, and shaking his head when Victoria said, "Heath, how did you buy that new saddle?"

Caught off guard he responded, "Working for George and Edna."

"WHAT! thundered Nick, who had been shamelessly eavesdropping through the open patio doors. Nobody can work as hard as you do, and work somewhere else as well."

"Heath, no, Victoria said, you'll kill yourself."

Jarrod just let his head drop further. He had caused his brother to take an extra job just to get by.

"Did they pay you anything boy, anything near what your worth?". Nick yelled again.

Thinking of the wages, the good feeling of being able to buy his brother the beers, their companionship, and the lumber and extras he had asked for, he felt he had been well paid, so he nodded yes.

"Good Lord, how did this happen?" Nick yelled.

"Lower your voice Nick," she snapped back, her fear for Heath's health adding to her distress. All those weeks that he had been cold and without a coat, making excuses. Even the orphans had coats. Why hadn't he asked them for money. It was moments like these that drove her to distraction with her new son. She hadn't shared his life until the past nine months. She had to guess what it had been like from bits and pieces he had said. Even her trip to Strawberry, while solving her problem, hadn't explained much about Heath. He had been poor, of that she was sure. His reaction here would tell anyone that. His pride was a strong as any Barkleys, perhaps stronger. He wouldn't ask for anything that he couldn't provide, that wasn't his. None of her children could. But to go to work at Edna's. To lie to them for a few dollars. She was as angry with him as she was with Jarrod.

"Heath, how could you work for someone else?" she questioned.

"Well you've seen George try to build that stage at the auction," Heath laughed, and she joined him. If anyone needed help it was George, and they had a good worker in Heath. She would need to speak to them.

Then another thought hit her. "Heath, where did you ride tonight?"

Twisting his button he said,"just around."

"Heath, look at me and answer."

"Yes Ma'am," he answered.

Victoria was unaware but Edna would have known that Heath was on the spot, just from the ma'am. "I'll repeat the question. Where did you ride tonight?" All eyes were on him again.

"Over to George and Edna's ma'am," he responded quietly.

"I hope you had a nice time. How were they?"

"Fine."

She needed to talk to Edna sooner than she thought. Tomorrow would be the earliest she could go and Heath would go with her. She wasn't about to lose this son, to another mother figure. Now what was Nick saying, she thought.

"I expect you to work here full time," Nick said.

"And I can't wait to have you around for more dinners." Victoria added.

"Yes Heath, the controlled lawyer voice spoke. As we have said before, we've missed you. I realize why you were gone, and that I caused it, but you no longer need to work double jobs." Jarrod finished.

Silence reigned as everyone once again drifted to their own thoughts.

Finally Nick broke the silence with, "Pool, Heath, I'll let you win a game before we turn in."

"Sure" Heath responded, following Nick from Jarrod's office to the pol room. Seeing his mother follow them out, he said, "Nick you rack them. I'll be right there." He turned and went back into the office.

For the first time since coming there, he was able to offer comfort. Touching Jarrod's shoulder, he said " I could have asked for money anytime, if I wasn't so stubborn. Don't blame yourself. This is a family, you keep telling me. Things work two ways. Come in and play pool with us. We can both beat Nick."

Smiling Jarrod allowed Heath to talk him out of his dark mood. He knew he would feel guilty for weeks, but Heath had started him on the road to healing.

As the game of pool commenced Heath quickly let his mind drift back over the conversation, and figured out that they were right. He no longer needed to work the double jobs, and he no longer needed to lie, but he could still help out his friends. Realizing he would sleep well this night, he quit the pool game, and turned in early. His body once again ached from the tension, and he wanted a hot bath, and a warm bed.

Victorias first priority the next morning was to see George and Edna, and explain that Heath would no longer be working for them, as he had explained to his family the entire situation, and it had been remedied. She explained this to the family over breakfast, and was prepared to ride immediately after. She expected Heath to be pleased, so she was surprised when she met with resistance in the form of Heath, bodily blocking the front door.

"I won't have you telling them that I'm not working for them."

"Heath, we've been over this enough, you don't need the job." Victoria stated. As she listened to his next words, she felt her heart sink.

"I agree, but I do need George and Edna, and they need my help. I will no longer get paid, or work as often, but I refuse to let down those two people who have given me so much."

"We need you here. You're not working there, and that's final." Nick said, rehashing the entire conversation from last night.

"NO!" Heath adamantly refused to be swayed.

"Heath!" Nick took a menacing step toward him.

"Stop this immediately, have you forgotten you still owe me for one vase, Nick Barkley?"

As he stood there defiantly, Heath tried to find a way to explain his feelings. He hated feelings sometimes. He needed George and Edna in his life. They were there when he was overwhelmed. He would be there for them always. Simple thoughts, impossible to express to four of the people he loved more than anything in the world. He wasn't trying to pick sides, but that seemed to be what they wanted. He would not do it. Tempers were high all around, and he just wanted to escape. To ride Charger, um, Gal until they dropped. Despite his good nights sleep, he was still tired. He thought he might be getting sick, but then it would pass, and he would feel fine. But he was tired of thinking.

As they all stood lost in their own thoughts and fears, while glaring at one another, they heard an angelic voice of reason from the staircase. "Let me see if I understand this correctly?" Audra's words brought them up short. She had missed last night's conversation, and had only been briefed on the basics, so she wasn't hung up on details. "Mother, Jarrod, Nick, you want Heath to never work at George and Edna's again, Correct?"

Stated that bluntly, Victoria recognized her error, and that it had been made out of fear. Saying Thank you to Audra, she asked, not ordered Heath to ride with her. As he hesitantly agreed, she had Ciego saddle their horses, and they left. She stayed beside Heath, but let him lead, and was once again reminded of his stubbornness. They were heading directly away from her intended destination.

As they rode he felt the tension lift, and spurred Gal to a full gallop. Victoria reigned in Silver, and just watched him take pleasure in the outdoors. Presently he slowed and made his way back to her side.

They rode in silence, side by side, for about a mile before Victoria felt ready to talk. Spying an old tree trunk, Victoria said, "Could we rest here?"

Heath said nothing, but dismounted and steadied Silver, while she got down. As she sat on the gnarled tree stump, Heath moved aimlessly around, digging with his toe, in the mud freshly speckled with new green shoots of grass. The rains always rejuvenated the face of the valley, turning the golden hills to a verdant green.

Finally she could take his silence no longer. Feeling a strong kinship to Nick at this point, she said, "Heath, I'm sorry, I was wrong."

As short, clipped, "no need to be sorry," was returned.

"You didn't mention the wrong, Heath."

"That's because you were."

"Yes, I was. Do you know why?" she questioned.

"You just were, what you wanted isn't right."

"Heath, let me tell you why. I was wrong because I was scared of losing you. I was wrong, because I love you."

"Loving isn't wrong."

"No Heath, loving isn't wrong, she said looking at his face. He seemed very confused, but was remaining very closed. Okay Victoria, try again. Be blunt. Force him to understand. To accept the love he deserves. "Heath, look at me. At my eyes."

He stopped toying with the earth, and moved to her side, looking into her eyes, his gaze unwavering.

"We've determined that I was wrong, but you must understand why to forgive." she calmly repeated.

Bewilderment was evident, as he thought that this was the second time he had been asked to forgive someone. She had said the right words. He was ready to listen.

"Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been jealous?"

"Yes!" he replied, thinking of Charger.

"That's how I felt. I didn't want to share you with them. I didn't want you to prefer them to me, to us."

His simple clear response told her all she needed to know, as he said, " Nick and Jarrod are my brothers, Audra my sister, you my Mother. How could I not love you?"

Taking his hand, she said, "Lets go tell George and Edna that."

"They already know," was his comment as they both rode back the way they had come, and over the hills to Heath's other home.

Once again Victoria found herself on Edna's doorstep, but this time the entire story was out. There would be no pretending. When George answered, he took an immediate step back and tripped, looking greatly confused. As Heath reached out to steady him, Victoria saw the concern Heath exhibited, and the gratitude with which it was received. No she couldn't forbid him to stop seeing these people. They needed him as much as she did.

"Edna!" George called, moving into the kitchen and leaving them standing on the doorstep.

"What is it this time, you lose another sock," she called back.

"No, you got company," he called.

"Now who could that be?" she said as she moved down the hallway, to the door. "Victoria, Heath, come in. Have a seat." Heath sure looked miserable, she thought, and Victoria not that much better. "What can I do for you?"

"Edna, Victoria began, last night Jarrod discovered that Heath had been working for you. We feel

he is working to hard, and have asked him to quit working here." Just then the clatter of a breaking dish could be heard from the kitchen. "I thought that we should ride over and tell you" she continued.

"Heath?" George asked, holding a cut hand as he moved out of the kitchen, "Did you agree?"

"George, Edna, Heath said holding their gazes with his, I have agreed to stop being paid for working here. Not to stop working for you. I 'll still help you as often as I can, and I love that corn bread, and stew, and pot roast, so don't be thinking that your prayers have been answered yet, he joked. I'm still coming over here. Can't get rid of me that easily." As they smiled he quietly added, with a catch in his voice, unless you don't want me here, of course?"

"HEATH!, all three adults cried at once, and Edna added, "how could you even think such a thing." His smile lit the room.

"Okay then George, let me help you with that new back door you got in last week," Heath said as Victoria began talking to Edna.

"I thought they would never leave." Edna said conspiratorially to Victoria, as the men departed. I am so glad to be able to talk openly with you now."

Victoria smiled, as Edna chatted away, hardly allowing her to get a word in edgewise. They loved him, she could see this. She needed to let go of her fears, and trust Heath. Ironic, how she had spent so much time trying to teach him to trust, and she needed the lesson now.

"........and Victoria, don't you think he must have a wife? I thought Virginia Wheeler, but he laughed at me. Can you imagine? He laughed at me. Now what's wrong with her I ask you? She seemed nice to me, but there you go. You just can't figure men out. I think I'll try Maggie next. What do you think about her? Oh and that boy talks non-stop, well when he talks.. Actually he doesn't talk all that much, but anyway its, Jarrod this, or Audra that, or Mother says...he must do nothing but think of you all. That and work. Now how is he ever going to meet a woman like that? Here is what I think we should do. First, we plan a party and ........"

Hearing a back door slam, Victoria allowed herself to stop trying to follow the dizzying conversation, and looked up expectantly, as the men re-entered the sitting room.

"Ready to go, Mother?" Heath questioned.

"Of course, I need to get lunch going, and I know Nick thought you would get those horses broken today, so we should be off. Good day Edna, George," she said rising, and heading happily to the door with Heath.

"You go get the horses ready Heath, Edna instructed, I need a few more minutes of Victoria's time."

Heath answered, "Certainly" as he smiled hearing Victoria's sigh. "I'll be right outside, don't be long."

Edna started up right where she left off, as soon as Heath left. "Now as I was saying, we have this party, and well I think the ideal girl must like horses. Don't you? Heath loves them, so maybe not Maggie. Well who would you recommend, Victoria?" She waited patiently for the answer and Victoria was hard pressed not to laugh.

"Edna, I think that we should leave Heath to make his own choices. Now I really must be going. I've kept Heath waiting long enough." and she left, wishing them a fond goodbye and telling them she would expect to see them soon.

Somehow the journey home didn't seem as long to either of them, and they talked easily. Victoria asked about the ranch work, and listened as Heath laid out the plans for what needed to be done. Stating that she thought it sounded more ambitious than other winters, Heath told her of Nick and his plans to add two more orchards next year. As Stockton grew, the demand for fresh produce would as well. He explained that it would take years for the orchards to produce, so the sooner the ground work was laid the better. That meant extra winter work, aside from the levees and repairs that always needed attending to.

Victoria then took a turn and told him about the Christmas plans for the orphanage. He had been to the orphanage a number of times, but hadn't realized that the number of children had tripled in the year before he came, due to an influenza epidemic, and a huge fire that took a number of parents with it. Audra and her friends were going to be making and filling stockings for each child, so they could have a Christmas. After Heath agreed that this was important, they talked of any number of things, including the visit to George and Edna's, the Christmas season, and Jarrod's latest court case. Heath even went so far as to mention Jarrod's interest in Helen.

This allowed Victoria to broach a subject that she was anxiously in need of talking about. "How long have you been seeing Colleen. Heath?"

Not really wanting to answer but aware that since the festival she was aware of them courting, he answered truthfully, "Since the dance this spring. Wasn't going to tell anybody, just yet, but I guess talking to you is fine. I'm serious about her ma'am."

"I thought as much, Heath. I want you to know that I support you and the match. She is a great girl and you're a wonderful young man."

"Thank you,"he said. 'Race you home," and off they went.

As she gave chase, she laughed at the lengths he would go to, to avoid personal questions.

While not surprised, Victoria was amazed at the flurry of activity the weeks leading up to Christmas brought. Christmas was still three weeks away and she barely had any shopping done. She had just returned home from Stockton, passing Heath and Nick, both working in what she assumed was to be the new cherry grove, and entered the house to find Audra, Colleen, Helen, Virginia, Gloria, and Ellen, busily sewing the stockings, they had cut out the week before. It looked like they had a work circle going. Two were stitching the linings together, two were sewing the outer stocking together and the last two were putting together fur that was to go on the top of each stocking. She knew the number of children in the orphanage was twenty seven, but seeing all the fabric laid out in front of her, reminded her of what a large undertaking this was for the girls.

Handing her packages to Silas, she entered the parlor saying, "You look like you have this well under control, girls, would you like some tea, and perhaps a tray of cookies brought in for a snack?"

"That would be wonderful, Mrs. Barkley," Helen commented.

"Yes, please," Ellen and Virginia added in unison.

"Thank you Mother, I was so busy I forgot to offer," Audra added.

"I'll have it brought right out. Good work, girls." she added, going to find Silas

As the day wore on, the stockings began to take shape, and the girls gave thought on what should fill each one. Suggestions, were fast and furious, coming one after another.

"Candies," Virginia, exclaimed.

"Nuts," Colleen added.

"....and a quarter," Helen threw out. "I always received a quarter."

"Whirly gigs for the boys, and rag dolls for the girls," Ellen threw in.

"Oh, and how about ribbons, for the girls hair," Gloria said.

"These are great, lets add paints. I loved getting paints." Audra voiced.

"Fruit," suggested Helen.

"..and small books" added Ellen.

"You know, we have very little for the boys," Colleen stated.

A round of you're right, I'd forgotten about that, and the boys would have so much less than the girls, was echoed around the room.

"Well, what do boys want?" Ellen asked. "I didn't have brothers."

"Well I sure do, Audra said. "Too bad none of them are home."

"I wish they were here too," Giggled some of the girls, while others nodded.

As the discussion continued, two very muddy cowboys, came home and entered together. As they put their hats down, they heard, "Nick, Heath, can you come in and join us?"

"What is it?" Nick said, as they both entered the room. He smiled when he saw the women there. Seeing Colleen, Heath's eyes lit up as well, and he smiled. Virginia smiled back , then looked at Nick. *No, I think Nick is cuter than Heath. I wonder why I didn't see it before.* She flashed Nick a huge grin.

"Nick, we so need your help." she gushed.

"Glad to oblige," he responded heading her direction.

Helen cut in with, "We've been trying to decide what to fill the stockings with, for the orphans, and realized that we have the girls well covered, but have no real ideas for the boys. What do boys want in their stockings?"

Looking at Heath expectantly, Colleen watched, as he lowered his head refusing to make eye contact with anyone in the room, as Nick rattled off, "tops, toy boats, candy, toy guns, whirlygigs, sling shots, marbles, pennies, a whistle, will that do, or do you need more?"

Laughing at the quickly recited list, Gloria said, "That should do Nick. Heath do you have anything to add?"

Lost in thought, he didn't hear her question, and Nick loudly yelled, "Hey! You got anything else to add to my list of ideas?"

Bringing his head up at Nick's question, he said, "I always wanted marbles." He then left the room and entered Jarrod's office, and poured himself a strong drink from Jarrod's personal supply of brandy. I will never get through Christmas, he decided. I just can't pull this off. His family hadn't even begun preparing, and he was dreading every minute of it.

Colleen watched him move into the office, and decided to follow him. "If you will excuse me, I'm going to freshen up before I head home," she said, and left heading up the stairway to Audra's room. At the head of the stairs, she however turned and followed the back stairway down to the kitchen. Giving Victoria and Silas a saucy look, and no answer to their raised eyebrows, she left through the back door. When she reached the French doors that opened into Jarrod's office, she could see Heath inside, but as she turned the handle, she found the door locked. RATS! Trying to decide if she should knock or not, she pressed her face to the glass.

At the sound of the door creaking as she pressed against it, Heath turned around. Noticing Colleen, her face distorted by the glass, he laughed. He moved to unlock the door, and swung her into the room.

"Just what do you think you're doing, sneaking around outside some ones home?"

"Coming to get you Heath. You looked like you could use some cheering up."

"Reckon I could at that. Not real good company right now, I'm afraid."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Yes and no, Colleen, yes and no." he murmured

Pulling away from him, she moved to Jarrod's chair and sat down. Assuming a very business like air, she said, "No won't get me answers, and if you want to be my client, I can only help if you are totally forthcoming. I will have to insist you go with yes, and tell me all about it."

Laughing, he pulled her to her feet and kissed her. "Thanks for making me laugh."

"If I do it again, do I get another kiss?" she questioned.

"I'm not sure. Is that your fee for taking my case?"

A flirtatious glint to her eye, she replied, "Four kisses and hour, and they better be good, or I'll drop the case like a hot potato."

Murmuring, "Sounds good counselor," he pulled her roughly to him and kissed her soundly. Raising his head, he said, "That takes care of fifteen minutes, but I think I'll pay for the entire hour in advance." and he again plundered her lips as she tightened her grip around his shoulders.

Finally Heath released her, took her hand, and sitting down on one of the fine leather chairs, drew her into his lap. "I do need to talk Colleen. Do ya have the time?"

"I think your passionate kisses ate up my time Heath. I pretended to need to freshen up. Could you ride part of the way home with me?"

"Reckon I could," he smiled, and added, if you didn't need to freshen up before, you probably should now."

As she laughed they heard a polite knock on the glass doors. Jumping hastily apart, they saw Victoria open the doors and quickly motion Colleen outside.

"Audra and the girls are looking for you. It seems they are under the impression that you went upstairs. Silas is telling them that I asked you to walk with me. You had better join me quickly."

"Thank you, Mother.' Heath said, blushing as Colleen fairly fled out the door and took Victoria's arm, as they hurriedly moved toward the garden. Heath watched as Victoria deftly answered all the girls questions, then he went upstairs and freshened up. He returned downstairs just in time to say goodby to the departing group. Only Ellen and Colleen remained behind.

'Are you two staying for dinner?" he questioned.

"No, and I must be going," Ellen said. "You coming , Colleen?"

"Yes, I am." she replied.

"If you two are riding back toward town, I'll accompany you. I'm headin' that way," Heath said, knowing that Ellen's home was the other direction.

"No, I'm going home, Heath, not back to town," Ellen replied, while Colleen said, "I'd be happy for the company."

"Fine. I'll be ready as soon as I saddle Gal," and he left the girls to say their goodbyes. He was waiting with all three horses as the girls came out. Handing Ellen's reins to her he said, "I think what you are doing for the orphans is wonderful."

"We sure hope it brings them a little joy, Heath. Goodbye. Colleen I'll see you on Wednesday, at two p.m. in town to pick up the gifts for the children. Goodbye."

"See you then, Ellen," Colleen confirmed, mounting, while Heath held her horse steady.

"Cobbler's Creek?" she said with a smile, only to hear him say, "No. It's been raining and many places along the bank aren't safe. How about the almond grove. Its not near as pretty, but it is kinda dry?" he suggested as an alternative.

"Sounds fine, at least the trees will provide some shelter from the cold."

"Don't worry! I'll personally make sure you're warm." came his wolfish reply.

They dismounted and he led her to an area where the trees had been buffeted by the wind, causing them to grow a little closer together than usual, hoping this would help keep her warm. Time would be limited as it was dark by five p.m. and she should be home before it was dark, for safeties sake. He figured they had a little under a half hour together at best.

While he was trying to gather his thoughts, she pushed him to the ground, and sat beside him, pulling her jacket close. "Okay, Heath Barkley, why don't you just start talking to me? I can be as patient as you can be silent."

"Figures."

"Heath, please?"

"Don't rightly know where to begin Colleen," and with that he stopped talking again.

"How about starting right there Heath. What made you uncomfortable earlier?"

"Well, umn.. you were all talking about stockings, and wanting help with what to put in them. Colleen, I wanted to help, but couldn't."

"Sure you could, Heath, you just needed to speak up."

Taking her hands and looking deep into her eyes, he said, "Remember our first date, and our conversation?"

"Yes."

"Colleen, I told you then that my background changed things. Would be different for you, but it's hard for me too, and in ways, you, they, couldn't understand."

"You're right, Heath. I don't understand."

"Take today. I couldn't answer. I never had a stocking. We celebrated Christmas, by having a mince pie and Mama bought me a candy. That was all. They're talking trees, ornaments, greenery, garland, stringing berries. Things I don't understand. All the holidays have been hard, and I reckon next year will be easier, and I do have my gifts ready, but Christmas just seems overwhelming. They talk and talk, and I just sit."

As it started to rain, he pulled her onto his lap to help keep her warm. It was then that she allowed herself to give in to the tears that had been threatening for so long. He couldn't see the tears streaming down her face. She couldn't let him. That would be impossible. He would not reach out again if he felt she pitied him. How was she to help?

As she thought about what to say, he continued, " I wished for this all my life, and now I'm scared. What if it doesn't measure up to what I want? What if I mess it up for them?

Pretending to wipe the drizzle from her face, she dried her eyes with her glove. Taking his hand, she rose, and he followed. "Heath, she said walking amongst the trees, I never gave it any thought. Thank you for explaining it to me. Can you tell them?"

"Don't think so," he said shaking his head. "I'd love to, help. I heard Nick offer, but I wouldn't even know how to fill a stocking." he admitted.

"It's easy. I could show you. The little things go in first, followed by the bigger items."

Stopping he turned her to face him. Raising her face so their eyes met, he threaded one hand through her luxurious hair. "Don't be sad. I can tell you've been crying. Talking has helped. It's been hard dealing with it all alone. I have been dreading it for so long, it just kept getting worse and worse. Knowing you understand makes a lot if difference, and now I can fill a stocking," he managed to smile.

"Oh, Heath." She threw herself against his chest. "I want to make it all better. I feel so helpless."

"Well then I have good company. It's getting dark. Lets get you home."

"I'll be fine on my own." she said.

"I wouldn't let you ride home, alone, in the dark, with the rain beginning again. No one would forgive me," he smiled. "Even your mother might be grateful."

"Heath!"

"Well fine, not your mother, but she'll have to deal with me, cause I'm taking you to your door tonight."

"Mother won't make it pleasant."

"Then I'll annoy her, watch!" He added.

After helping her down from her horse, he escorted her to her door. Colleen opened it and quickly tried to step inside, while pushing him away.

"Hello, Mrs. McDougal!" Heath called. "I brought Colleen home, shall I see to her horse?"

Colleen's glare was eclipsed by her Mothers, as she said, "Get out. Colleen, I expect you home before dark so you don't need an escort." and with that she slammed the door in Heath's face.

Knocking once again, Heath watched as Mrs. McDougal answered it, and still glaring, huffed, "Yes?"

"Have a nice night Ma'am, Colleen." he said, smiling for Colleen's benefit. He then shut the door firmly behind himself and whistled his way back to Gal.

He arrived home in time for dinner, and sat quietly while everyone discussed Christmas plans. He figured the more he listened, the more he would understand, thus feeling less of an outsider in what he considered a very personal holiday. If someone would have intruded on his Christmas's with Rachael, Hannah, and his mama, he would have been put out, and he couldn't help, somewhere deep inside, feeling like an outsider intruding. Like right now. They were all talking about taking a half a day off tomorrow, and going to pick greenery for the house decorations. Was he expected to go? Did he have to? Maybe he could get out of it he decided, as he said, "I think I'll stay and work with the horses for the army contract while you all go out tomorrow.'

"Nonsense." Victoria said. "We go as a family."

This gave him more to ponder. I guess I'll figure out greenery tomorrow. The hotel used to decorate some. They put up candles and ribbons. Contemplating greenery took up the rest of his dinner, and he ate very little.

Joining in a card game with Audra, he saw the finished stockings and asked, "What did you decide to fill them with?"

"You were there when I told the ladies what to put in them weren't you?" Nick grumbled. "Didn't you listen?"

"Yeah, I listened," he snapped, not liking Nick's tone. "Just didn't figure you would put all of that into each stocking."

"Why not. Kids like toys," Nick stated.

"We won't Heath. Probably just the candy, nuts, a quarter, and then for the boys, marbles and a top, and for the girls, ribbons and a rag doll." Audra replied.

"Seems an awful lot to me. Santa is going to be good to them."

"Yes, he is. That's the point. They have so little to look forward to. Christmas would be so dreary without presents, don't you think?"

"Your turn, Audra," he said, cutting off the discussion, and refusing to return to it.

When Victoria and Jarrod finished reading, and Audra had beaten Heath, they all decided to retire. Nick had already gone upstairs, claiming that he had to get up early, if he was to take half a day off tomorrow.

Blowing out his light, Heath returned to contemplating greenery. He really felt a little foolish. Here he was, twenty four years old, and he didn't know what they meant. He didn't think he had ever seen greenery in Strawberry. It was a very dry region, but they did have mistletoe. The Meyers brought it back each year from their trip to San Francisco. The army had no greenery. Christmas was a night of cease fire, so you didn't have to fear dying on the Lord's birthday. In Carterson, he never even knew if Christmas came. The months were so jumbled in his mind. After the war, he had traveled and worked odd jobs. He was by himself at Christmas. Didn't recall greenery at all. He didn't reckon they were talking greens. Those you ate, and he knew about them. Trees were green, but he knew they were going to have a tree. He had seen trees before, all decorated up, through the windows of the fancy houses, when he fished for crab in San Francisco. Boy those houses were elaborate, and the trees incredible. He thought the Barkleys might have a tree like that, but still he couldn't get a handle on greenery.

As he lay there pondering, he felt himself drawn to the stockings. Slowly he put on his pants, and crept quietly downstairs. Moving into the parlor, by instinct, rather than by sight, as he didn't want to rouse the family by lighting the lamps, he moved to where the assembled stockings were piled. Picking the top one off the stack, he let his fingers run over it, feeling the fur top, compared to the satin of the boot. He stuck a hand inside, and felt how much room there was for toys. He thought of marbles. All the boys had marbles. The poor boys had clay marbles, and the rich boys had some glass ones. One boy, Robert John, had a Chinese one. He could see it so clearly. Shiny porcelain white, with four orange bands running around it one way, intersected by two rows of blue bands, going the other. Caleb, had a big shooter, with a sulfide horse inside it. He never got tired of rubbing that piece of information in all the boys faces. He had seen the stockings hanging in the houses that he delivered laundry to. Just once he had wanted a stocking. Just one, filled with marbles of every color and size. Wishful thinking. His mother had explained that Santa was not real, and that the parents bought the presents for their children. He had been four, but he had understood. It wasn't magical, and they could not afford luxuries.

Shaking his head to clear the memory, he went back to bed, this time noticing the light seeping out from under Jarrod's office door. He didn't know Jarrod had witnessed his solitary moments, as Jarrod had slipped into a shadow as he passed. Jarrod too, wasn't sure what he had just witnessed.