It took them a few minutes to get to the barn, open the door, and maneuver the wagon to the front of the house. Heath also had to keep an eye on Nick, who was continually trying to peek under the tarp. When they reached the front of the house, Heath told Nick to go inside, and that he would be right in with Audra's gift.

"Fine Heath, I'll tell Audra not to look, then you can hand it to her," he responded, trying to take one last quick peek before entering the house.

When Heath came in, gift behind his back, everyone strained to see it, but he refused, until he placed it in Audra's hands. His tension was palpable, and Audra knew he was nervous about her reaction, but she had no need to put on an act, as she gazed at the most intricately carved and marquetry inlaid jewelry box she had ever seen. Tears threatening to spill over again, she traced her fingers over the design work on the top. The scene was of a young woman dancing with a handsome gentleman at a social. She could see her family depicted in the background. Jarrod stood by a potted plant, that was elegantly done in light pine. Nick and Heath were in the background, and her Mother was sitting in a chair by the dance floor. Each persons eyes were on the woman dancing, and seemed to be shining with pride. She could picture them twirling to the strains of a fine waltz, while the family offered her their protection, in the form of love. Opening the box, she saw that the inside was beautifully covered in a deep blue satin, and divided into partitions, to make separating the jewels easier. "Mother, you should see this," she said handing the jewelry box over and rushing to hug and kiss Heath, like he had never been kissed before. The kiss was from a sister that was so touched, the love poured forth.

"Heath, it's perfect," she sighed, as her mother echoing her sentiments passed it to Jarrod and Nick. "My new pearls now have the perfect home. "I know you made this, but it really doesn't seem possible," she said, as she sat and once again traced the fine inlay on the top. "Heath....."

"What Audra is trying to say," Jarrod interrupted, "is that we are all amazed at your ability."

"It's nothing really. Just takes some time," Heath said, flustered at the attention. He had wanted them to be like his gifts, but was finding the praise uncomfortable. "Maybe we can move on?" he said hopefully, his gaze wandering to his pile of stocking stuffers.

"I think we will finish doing the gifts person by person this year," Jarrod finally decided. "That means I am still next," he said, grinning at Nick. "Looks like I can make you wait forever brother," he taunted good-naturedly.

"Not fair," Nick shot back, but was smiling to take the sting out of his words. At this point Audra leaned over, still holding the jewelry box, and told Heath, "Nick can never wait."

"I noticed that trying to bring the wagon around," he told her, as the family all laughed at Nick's boyish love of Christmas.

"Let me see, why don't I open this one from Audra next," Jarrod said, grabbing a box that was wrapped in white paper and held together by red string. Taking care to unwrap the present as slowly as possible, just to see Nick squirm, he removed the lid and smiled, as he pulled out six beautifully hand worked handkerchiefs, each carrying his monogram. "Audra these are beautiful. I really don't know why you never enter the fair with your embroidery," and to demonstrate he examined each one then leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"Now Mother, I guess it will have to be yours, unless you would like to give me mine next, Heath?" Jarrod asked hopefully.

"No you can wait until the end for yours from Heath," Nick said. "It may be the only payback I get all night."

"Alright, Mother's it is," Jarrod said picking up the long rectangular shaped package. Removing it's wrapping, even slower, if that was possible, Jarrod had everyone fuming by the time he was ready to open the box.

"Boy Howdy, if that ain't the slowest unwrapping I've ever seen, and I thought Mother would be impossible to beat. Never saw anyone take so long as she did at her birthday," Heath added.

Laughing, Jarrod removed the lid and pulled out a brand new .44 caliber Colt lightning repeating rifle. The lock plate of the breach was engraved with the Barkley brand on one side and his name on the other. The stock was inlaid with gold. It was a magnificent weapon, and his had been lost earlier that year in a wager, between himself and another lawyer. He had won the case, but lost the rifle, as it had taken him two days longer than he expected to win. "Mother, this beats my old rifle hands down, and to have it personally engraved will assure that I do not wager it in any bets," he grinned, as she smiled at his happiness.

"Now Heath, I think I get to see what you made me," he said eagerly. He had been excited since George and Edna arrived, but after seeing Audra's gift, he was beside himself with anticipation. What could Heath have done for him, that could in any way compare to the beauty and perfection of Audra's handmade gift.

"Uh........Nick, I'll need your help getting his in here," Heath said as he started to rise. "Just remember that I will get it off the buggy with out you looking in to see yours, then you can help me maneuver it inside."

"Mine must be a big one," Jarrod said, as the two left the house once again.

Making Nick stand facing the house, Heath struggled to remove Jarrod's gift, then hurriedly recovered Nick's present, before he told him it was okay to turn around. Whirling quickly, hoping to get a glimpse, Nick was not surprised to find the wagon once again shrouded, but was amazed by what he was to help cart in the house. "Just how do you want me to help? I can take a side, or the top or the bottom. Your call Heath."

"Why don't we just each take a side. It's not that heavy, just unwieldily."

Both brothers, hefting in unison, set Jarrod's gift down just inside the front door. "Jarrod," Nick called "I think you should come see yours over here. I really don't feel like bringing it all the way in."

"Nope, just turn around Jarrod," Heath called, "Were coming in, no matter what Nick wants." and the two carried in his gift and placed it behind his turned back, while Victoria and Audra let their mouths gape open. "Okay, turn around, Jarrod," Heath said, sounding like the little boy Victoria remembered while decorating the tree.

Turning, anticipation heightening his senses, Jarrod was thrilled to see the most gorgeous bookcase he'd ever laid eyes on. It was obvious that Heath had spent untold hours on his gift. It would be perfect in his office, holding all his legal books. It never crossed his mind to keep it at home. It was to beautiful to keep hidden in his room, and anyway it was a lawyers bookcase. His hand trembling slightly, he caressed the highly polished redwood, that glowed with a satin sheen all its own. He traced his fingers along the mitered edges. He allowed his fingers to trace the lines of the carvings that were on the top and sides. It showcased all he stood for. The entire bookcase stood five feet high, had four shelves, and two sliding glass panels that opened and closed to allow him to keep the books dust free. The top was etched and blackened with a delineation of the San Francisco skyline. The right side had a picture of the scales of justice, and the left a depiction of lady liberty. He knew that not only time went into the piece, but knowledge as well. Knowledge of him as a person and knowledge of his priorities. He was as stunned as Audra had been. For once words failed him, and he sounded like Heath, stuttering his thanks. Finally as his hand continued to trace the San Francisco skyline that he loved, he got out "you know that I am taking this to the office."

"I reckoned you would. It is for all those law books." Heath grinned. He had done it. Jarrod was pleased. He had been worried about Jarrod's gift. Such an urbane person deserved a fine piece of work, and he wasn't sure that this was right, but by the look in Jarrod's eyes, he could tell he was mistaken. He was pretty confident about the rest of the gifts. This was fun. "Who's next," he said, eager to continue, now that they were started.

"How about Nick," Jarrod answered smiling. After his wonderful gifts, Nick didn't need to suffer any more anticipation. It was getting the better of him already, and he couldn't seem to stop pacing.

"Finally!" Nick said taking a seat by Jarrod, and reaching for the gift in his hand. "Who is this from?"

"If you would wait, I would tell you," Jarrod chided softly. "It happens to be from Mother."

Knowing that it wouldn't take long for Nick to get through the unwrapping stage of his presents, it came as no surprise to discover that before they even knew what was happening he had ripped the paper to pieces and was already lifting the lid, to get to the present hidden inside. Picking up the cylindrical tube inside the box, Nick held it to his eye, and sighed in pleasure at the patterns made by the kaleidoscope. It was very nautical in design and the patterns were all blues, greens, and whites, almost like the rolling waves on the ocean he so loved. "Where did this one come from, Mother? It is very unusual, and will be a great addition to my collection."

"I picked it up in San Francisco. It was made by a sailor, and seemed to be the perfect gift for you dear."

"It is. Next Jarrod."

"This is from Audra, Nick," he said , passing over another box.

Tearing through her packages wrappings as quickly as possible, he was thrilled to pull out six handkerchiefs daintily embroidered with his monogram. The embroidery was done in a deep blue, and the stitching was perfect. Jarrod hadn't been kidding when he said that this is what they were getting. Leaning over to give her a quick kiss, Nick said, "Thank you Audra. I really needed a few new ones. My others are about worn out, from drying the tears of all those ladies that don't get to dance with me at the socials," he joked.

"Let's see, that would leave yours and Heath's. I suspect yours is next Jarrod. Come on, pass it over," he said eagerly.

"Yes, please hand it to Nick, Jarrod. I can hardly wait either." Heath added.

Seeing the happy faces of his family he handed Nick his gift and then caught his mothers eye and winked, when Nick once again tore into a present, allowing no time to even see the wrapping.

"Jarrod, This weighs a ton. I wonder what it is," he said lifting the lid. Picking up a saddle, ornately done in black leather, with silver studs on it, and hand tooled with an intricate design, he said, "It's lovely Jarrod, but I just bought a new saddle. Is there a reason for this one/"

"Yes Nick, there is. I thought Lightning needed his own saddle, and since you can't buy a gift for a horse, I had to give it to you."

"Well that makes sense. Its perfect for Lightning. Wait til the ladies get a look at me atop that horse and this fancy saddle. My social life will be booked through next year." he replied jauntily

"That leaves you Heath."

"Reckon it does," he replied as once again nerves assailed him. Thought Jarrod's had cured me, but I guess I'll just need to take it a gift at a time. That makes only one gut wrenching left to go, after this gift. "Jarrod, this time I'll need your help."

"Coming Heath," Jarrod replied as he followed him out to the buggy. "I take it his is the other large item."

"Yep. I think we can do it the same way we did yours. Lets get it in the door, then make him turn around, and move it behind him."

"Heath, while we have a few minutes alone, I want to say thank you. Your gift to me was perfect. I also wanted to say how much having you here tonight has meant to all of us. It wasn't Christmas without you. Everything seemed flat, and the waiting interminable. Happy Christmas Heath."

"Happy Christmas, Jarrod, and thank you. Now lets get this gift inside." he said, and Jarrod could see his blush even in the darkness.

Once again, a member of the family was instructed to turn around, but this time they asked the wrong person. Nick refused, and he decided to go them one better. He hid behind the one remaining large vase that stood by the door. When Jarrod and Heath entered, he jumped out and startled the two, who were concentrating on maneuvering the large item over the front step, causing Jarrod to drop his end, which in turn, caused Heath to stumble and release his side, thus falling over the edge of the present, knocking the wind from him.

"Damn it Nick, what in the hell do you think you are doing?" Heath cursed, but discovered that he would not be answered.

"Mother, Audra! Come and look at this. Mine is the best gift of all. I finally got that dresser I was wanting. Heath, I can't believe you made this. Why look at the dovetailing, and this scene, its of the hills North of our ranch, isn't it?" Heath had carved California into his dresser. It was not just any California, it was his California, and a scene of the land he loved. The wood was highly polished natural redwood burl, that was satiny to the touch, and as California as woods came. It was far better than the dresser he had thought he had wanted. It was as perfect for him as Audra and Jarrod's had been for them.

"Well, don't just stand there, let's get this inside where it belongs," Nick said, hefting one side and looking at his brothers with mirth etched into every line on his face.

He couldn't tell anyone the real reason for being by the door, but he had needed to do something that would alleviate, what he was sure would be, his extreme pleasure over Heath's gift. All the others had been incredible, and he didn't want to sit there trying to think of something to say. All in all, playing the fool, was better than being tongue tied.

"Sure," Heath said, lifting his side and following Nick into the parlor. "Lets just put it down here. It weighs a ton."

"That it does, then again redwood is very heavy, and this is very massive and masculine." Nick responded.

"Heath," Jarrod said, breaking into Nick banter," how about you go next?" He decided to ask, because it was obvious that Heath was not as comfortable as the rest of them, and he didn't want to put him on the spot.

"I reckon I can do that," Heath said, glancing first at his stocking stuffers then looking to Nick for confirmation that this was the correct answer.

Victoria, noting the look, took Heath's hand and said, "You should be next, Heath. I am almost always last," then smiled, to reassure him she was telling the truth.

"Then Jarrod, which one do I get?" he asked, his voice rising with anticipation, as everyone watched in excitement, to see how he liked their gifts.

"First Heath, I think you should open Audra's. Here's the box."

"UH thanks" he said, then realized he should open the gift first. Coloring and staring at the top of the box, his hands visibly shaking, he ripped off the white paper, and to everyone's delight lifted the lid, and exclaimed, "Aren't these just the finest handkerchiefs anyone ever had. I reckon I'm supposed to use them for those socials you keep trying to drag me to, Right?"

"Right Heath," Audra said, beaming at his delight. Why, he was still fingering them, and didn't look inclined to put them down anytime soon. It had been that way with his stocking stuffers as well. He kept glancing at them, as if they would disappear any minute.

As his hands traced the embroidered letters, he said so softly that his words were almost missed entirely, "They have an H and a B on them. Never thought to really have a last name." Then raising clear blue eyes, he stood and kissed Audra, as he had seen Jarrod and Nick do.

Not knowing what to say in response and concerned that this night might prove to be to overwhelming for Heath, Jarrod plowed ahead, by picking up his gift and handing it to Heath. "I hope you like it."

"I know I will. Boy howdy is it ever a pretty package." he said ripping into the paper happily. Nestled in a satinwood box was an 1873 Colt single action revolver. It had an eagle, in gold, emblazoned on the stock and the letters HB. Taking the pistol from the box, Heath held it in his right hand, and allowed the gun to rest. "Its perfectly balanced Jarrod. I have never felt a pistol this fine. I figure it fits in my holster right nicely, and has a smooth draw. You just made me go from good to lethal. You might find yourself defending me counselor." he teased.

"Now Heath, that isn't funny. I never hope to see you behind bars." Jarrod shot back, laughing.

As she watched the entire night of gift exchanges, Victoria grew happier and angrier by the minute. Happy that Heath was there, and that the gifts were being so well received, and angry that Edna was right. How dare that woman know more about Heath than she did. Tonight all that would change. She was going to tell Heath everything. Edna said he reverted to old speech patterns when flustered, and tonight he sounded like he did the first night he stormed into their home. He must be a wreck. He was that first night, and for the few days after, so today must be very hard for him. It was obvious that he was concerned about others liking his gifts, and he seemed to think that he really didn't deserve the gifts he was getting, but he did. Tonight, he would know, she thought as Jarrod interrupted with, "This one is from Mother, I don't see Nick's here."

At Heaths crestfallen face, Nick jumped up and said, "that's because mine is last," before Heath had a chance to believe that he had been forgotten.

Looking at Nick, as if he really wasn't sure what to believe, he accepted Victoria's gift from Jarrod's hands. Deftly unwrapping her present, he was shocked to find an item that made his heart lurch. A double frame, held a picture of him with the entire family, and on the other side, was the only picture he had of his mama. Not knowing what to say, he looked up and found everyone looking at him. "Thank you, Mother." was all he uttered, and those words were more eloquent and meaningful than any amount of effusive gushing could ever have been. Without knowing it, he had just made everyone's night.

Silence loomed, and for moment Nick wished he had gone first, but there was no going back, and anyway, he really was sure Heath would be pleased with his gift, so preempting Jarrod, he spoke up, shattering the silence. "It's time for my gift, Heath, but everyone is going outside. Mother would not want me to bring my present inside."

Audra placed a hand on Heath's shoulder as he rose, but he refused to look up. "Let's go see what Nick got you."

Pulling away from her touch, he turned to Victoria, and with unbelieving eyes, silently begged her to allow the gift she gave him to be real. Drawn to the pain only a mother could see, she wrapped her arms around him and said "I love you, Heath Thompson Barkley."

His jaw quivering, he looked back down at the framed photos, and still carrying them he turned abruptly and left the house, choking out that he was headed to the barn.

"Perfect," Nick called, "We'll be right there. That's where your gift from me is." Seeing his nod, the family decided to give him a few needed moments alone, then headed after Heath.

Jarrod maneuvered to Victoria's side and briefly said, "I think that it was a perfect gift Mother. No wonder you wouldn't tell anybody. He seemed pleased, but I have it on good authority Colleen's exactly, never to expect the expected from Heath."

"You're right Jarrod. I do think he's pleased, but he will need time and my talk tonight to even begin to trust what he feels."

"Well, are you ready," Nick said, as the family followed him into the barn. Heath was busy feeding a carrot to Charger, and didn't look up at the sound of his voice. "Now you listen to me, Heath, I keep trying to give you my gift and here you go leaving again. Soon I'll be able to set my watch by your comings and goings, they're getting so frequent."

"Well now, Nick, I've done looked everywhere in this barn, and I ain't seen nothing that resembles a gift." His head still down, he missed Victoria's flinch at his rough language. Tonight, one way or another, she thought, I must settle this.

"You don't say. Well it seems........."

"I don't see anything either, Nick," Audra said.

"If you'll let me finish, I was trying to ......."

"I was not interrupting, I was just saying that I see no present here. Maybe you hid it somewhere else." she cut in again, this time to be rewarded by a shy half smile from Heath.

"Heath, I'm trying......"

"Nick," she again interrupted, "you're not saying anything that anyone can understand. Get to the point."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Nick exploded.

"Why I never....." she added, teasing on purpose. Heath was laughing and it was what she wanted. His pulling away had been hard, and she needed to feel that she could give him support in some way.

"Thanks, Sis." Heath said, letting her know that he was grateful, but that enough was enough.

Keeping quiet this time, she had to smile because every time Nick started to open his mouth he would look at her, then stop. When she didn't respond he would start again, and the scenario repeated itself two more times before Nick said, "You really don't see a gift in here, Heath?"

Shaking his head no, Heath stood still, along with the rest of his confused family, until he heard Nick say, "That's funny, you've been feeding your gift carrots the entire time we've been in here."

"CHARGER!" Heath whooped, any sadness forgotten as his fondest wish was granted. "Charger's mine?" "Really?"

"Didn't I say so?"

"Boy Howdy, Charger, what do you think of that? You and me, were going to be the best team in the valley." While Heath continued to talk to the horse, Charger nuzzled Heath's chest, as if to impart that it was the only way things could ever be. They belonged together, and everybody knew it. If there was ever any doubt, it was now squelched

"Nick, Thank you. I can't believe it. You know how long I wanted Charger? Since I first came in this barn, on the very first day. Even Lightning doesn't compare, as far as I'm concerned."

"Well how do you like that, Lightning? Sounds like a challenge has just been issued," Nick said, happily extolling the virtues of Lightning over Charger. "We will just have to show this boy how wrong he is."

"Anytime Nick, anytime." Heath tossed back, petting Charger hard on the flank. See you soon boy. We'll go for a ride tomorrow, but right now I think it's Mother's turn to open some gifts."

"Right you are. Mother, shall we," Jarrod said taking his Mothers arm and leading the way back to the house. "I had no idea Nick would give up Charger."

"When I realized what he was doing, I expected nothing less. Nick cares so deeply for Heath, and that horse has caused more than a few arguments between them. Charger and Heath belong together. I am proud of Nick for admitting it, and making it so."

"Tonight has been a night of revelation, I would say. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes Jarrod, I would." Victoria added, still thinking of one more disclosure to come. Tonight was going to be a long one for her.

"Here you are Mother," Jarrod said, after he seated himself by the few remaining presents. " It looks like I picked the one from Nick first."

Taking the very small box, she thought, it's jewelry again, then daintily opened the paper and slowly set it aside. Removing the lid she was rewarded with a jewelers box from the renowned Burlington House of San Francisco. Opening the jewelers box, she saw a delicate pink cameo, surrounded in gold filigree. The head of a woman with her hair held back, similar in style to her own, was facing left. It was delicate and would be lovely with so many of her outfits. "Thank you very much Nick. You put a lot of thought into this gift. It matches so many of my outfits perfectly, and a cameo is timeless."

"You're welcome Mother."

"Next, we have a gift from Audra," Jarrod said holding out yet another smallish box.

Once again taking her time with the wrappings, Victoria glanced up purposefully to see if she was driving Nick to distraction, and was rewarded with him trying hard to keep still in his chair. Heath too, seemed to be having a hard time sitting still. Maybe this was another trait he shared with Tom.

When her fingers touched the contents she was thrilled to see a intricately stitched shawl, obviously hand done by Audra. Opening it to its full length, she admired the paisley motif, embroidered along the edges. The stitches were perfect. Diminutive and precise. The colors were vibrant. It was stunning. "Audra, I agree with Jarrod, you need to start entering the stitching contests at the fairs, and stop with the pickles," she remarked leaning over to kiss her daughters cheek. "This is also perfect. What a Christmas I am having."

"Well then Mother, it's time to give you a little more," Jarrod announced, passing her a large parcel. "Careful, this one is heavy," he cautioned.

"My, it sure is. What could be inside, Jarrod?" Victoria grinned, as she teased Nick once again, by taking the wrappings off at a snails pace. As they fell away, and she got a glimpse of the top, she ripped the rest of the paper off, and sat back, shock registering on her face. "Jarrod, where did you have this done?"

"Let me see, Mother," Nick and Audra asked at once, while Heath echoed their statement with a nod.

Turning the picture around they were confronted with a stunning likeness of Victoria herself, framed identically, to the one of Tom, that hung in the library.

"How lovely," Audra enthused. "It will look perfect hanging by Fathers."

"I agree. Jarrod, another brilliant idea," Nick said. "Every year and at each occasion," he said turning to Heath, "Jarrod manages to outdo everyone."

"I wouldn't say that, Nick," Jarrod said, exalting in his words. It was what he strived for, and each year he had a hard time, never knowing what the others might come up with. It was a contest of sorts. He wasn't sure when it started, but it had, and so far he was the unqualified winner. Only occasionally did another sibling best him.

"Jarrod, I never thought to add a picture of me, to the one of your father. Thank you dear." Victoria said, tears in her eyes, as she kissed him as well.

"I am glad you like it, Mother," Jarrod said, then added, "The last gift of the night will be Heath's to you. Heath, do you need any help bringing this one in?"

"No. I can get it myself. You just wait right there, and keep your eyes closed."

"I will, Heath, don't worry. I like surprises, unlike some members of the family," she teased.

While the family sat in silence, each studying the portrait Jarrod had commissioned, Heath left and walked for the final time to the buggy. *Damn Jarrod, he thought, as he picked up his gift. Nick was right, there was no way to compete. He had wanted, no needed hers to be special. He needed to show her the depth of his feelings, and Jarrod had him beat hands down.* Picking up his gift, he returned inside, knowing he had no choice. Running sounded good, but by coming back, he had made a promise to himself never to do so again. Well I'll just get this over with, at least its better than stationary, he thought as he put the gift he spent so many hours on, in her hand.

"Here you go."

Without opening her eyes, she felt the weight. It was light yet firm. Having no idea what it could be, but feeling everyone's eyes riveted on her, she thought she had better look. Her eyes were drawn to an intricately carved silhouette of her husband Tom. It was done on redwood burl as her son's other gifts had been, but the wood had been curved, creating an arc, that would allow light to shine through from behind when a candle was placed in the candle holder. It was a bedside reading silhouette of Tom. It had to have taken hours to get the likeness so recognizable, and Tom's commanding presence shown in the work. It must have taken a huge toll on Heath to have carved a likeness of his father, whom he still hadn't totally forgiven. She didn't know what to say. She would have Tom beside her every night, and having it carved by Heath meant more than she could express.

Raising her eyes to his face, she saw him staring at the carpet, as if it held a great fascination, or perhaps had the secrets of the universe woven into its fabric. "Heath, I love it," she said, her tone emphasizing her sincerity. "Never before has a single gift meant so much to me."

For the second time that night he looked her in the eyes, as if trying to gauge some discernable truth, and said, "honest Ma'am?" with a big question mark attached.

Practically throwing herself at his feet, she said, "Honestly, Heath, and if you ever call me Ma'am again, I'll have to get my broom, and scold you like you were ten."

For the fifth time that night his smile reached his eyes, but this time his smile was open, and unguarded. "I love you, for everything, Mother."

Crying, she held him, as her other children left the room, giving them some privacy.

"Why did we have to go, Jarrod?" Audra questioned, sounding petulant.

"Mother told me she needed to talk with Heath tonight, and this seemed like the perfect time. Let's play pool, Nick."

"Fine, leave me out. It's only Christmas." Audra pouted.

Smilingly Nick said, "She's right Jarrod. It is Christmas. We shouldn't just leave her out. You can play too, Audra."

"Oh you!"

"Come on, let's play whist until they are done," Nick said, still smiling over her reaction to his suggestion. "I just got you back for teasing me in the barn."

"Cards it is," Jarrod piped up, before the joking could start up again. Taking out a deck of cards he started to shuffle as they took their places around the table. It might be a long night, but no one was going to sleep before Heath turned in, safe and home.

Heath didn't feel safe. He didn't want to be alone with Victoria. This was the moment he had been dreading, more than all the others since he entered the house tonight. It was even worse than the present giving. It was time for his lecture. "Reckon I'm in a heap of trouble. Let me apologize again, then we can just forgo the lecture?" he said plaintively.

"Trouble, Heath?" she asked, perplexed. She had been so caught up in her own concerns, and her need to speak with him, she never gave a second thought to how her comment had been taken, and now she needed to not only talk but alleviate his feelings that he was going to be blamed again. Heath seemed to feel that things were his fault, or at least would be better for people if he weren't around. Still hugging him, she pulled away, and looked into his eyes. He was apprehensive.

"Heath, I don't want to scold you. I never did. Since you explained yourself, I felt that there were some things that needed to be said on my part, to help you understand. Your Christmas gift to me shows me that no matter how hard this may be for me, us, it needs to be said now, not later. Shall we sit down."

Thoroughly confused, Heath sat, and she took a place on the couch beside him. Looking at his face, that reminded her so much of Tom, she tried to begin, but didn't know where to start. For a few minutes silence reigned, the atmosphere taught with unspoken emotions on both sides.

How to start this, she pondered, then decided to take the plunge and just come on out with it. They could sort through parts as they came up.

"Heath, I need to tell you some things about you and your father and me." Well that got his attention. No doubt about it. Continuing, his silence, making it just that much harder, she said, "I haven't told you this. I didn't know how to bring it up, and since you never asked, I put it off, in some ways even hoped it didn't matter, but it does. Since you came here Heath, angry and alone, oh so alone," she echoed, taking his hand and holding on tight, "I have loved you. Loved you because you were my husbands son, my children's brother, and an exceptional human being. But that isn't all. I haven't been honest with myself or with you. I need to. Can you understand?"

Refusing to meet her eyes, he rubbed his free hand back and forth across his knee, sometimes slowly, sometimes with great force, but he never stopped its motion.

"Well if you won't talk, I'll just have to go on. What I am clumsily trying to say is that I have been distant with you. I know I have. There are reasons, and I fear that you are blaming yourself for them. You.........."

"If I hadn't have come, you would all be doing what you want, rather than having to make a place for me. You wouldn't be facing snide remarks from the town. I've lived with them, could have continued, if I wasn't so selfish. You didn't deserve this, you've been nothing but kindness."

"Perhaps kindness to you, Heath, but I'm sure you have felt that I haven't been as close to you as I could be. God I am putting this badly. What I mean is, have you felt that I am distant to you, compared to say Audra?"

"I'm not your son."

"Have you felt the distance?"

"Not really Ma'am."

"Heath, you are trying my patience, by trying to spare my feelings. Now be completely honest. I'll try not to ask you another question."

"You have been wonderful," he said forcefully. " I don't deserve your kindness." As soon as the words were out, he knew they were wrong. She had been wonderful, and was as important to him as anyone in his entire life, but in an instant his gut wrenched and the constricting band returned to begin squeezing his chest, the tightness continuing, while he waited for her too speak, after he added, a "But yes. I have felt some distance, and it's getting worse. That's one reason I left."

"Oh Heath, no! I was afraid of that. You don't understand. Heath," she said cupping his chin and forcing his head up, even thought his eyes still refused to meet hers, "you remind me so much of your father, that sometimes it hurts. I miss him Heath. Miss him more than anyone can comprehend, and I hope none of my children, and that includes you, young man, ever lose a spouse. Nothing can take the place of that emptiness, shared dreams, visions, and plans. You are so like him. Oh not so much in looks, but in temperament, and posture, and attitude. In a thousand imperceptible ways. I see them all. When I see you, I see him. Can you understand that?"

"I've caused you more pain than I knew. No wonder you didn't want me here"

"Didn't want you. I don't understand. I've always wanted you."

Jerking free from her grasp, he spat, "Don't lie to me now. I heard you talking with Jarrod. It was late, but the words were clear. I wish I had another Christmas without Heath."

"Heath, you didn't hear it all. I can remember every word of that conversation. You heard the words, not the feelings behind them. That's what I am trying to explain now. Christmas was Tom's favorite holiday. Seeing you react as Tom did, even to things you knew nothing about was almost to much to take. My children have been with us always, so things they do that reflect Tom are commonplace. But you, you do other things he did that they don't. They are still so fresh in my mind. They bring back images so vividly. I love you for giving me more of Tom, yet I am having a hard time. I had buried most of the hurt and anger of his death. Now it's like the wound has reopened. Raw, yet soothing."

"No one ever talks of Father to me."

"Well they should, and I will, if you like. You should speak of your Mother as well."

"I don't want to hurt you." he said tenderly.

"We feel the same way. Sounds like a good New Years resolution to me. Being more open."

Smiling slightly, he said, "I think that will be hard for me, but I can try."

"Let me tell you something now," she said, knowing that she was about to embarrass him, but that he needed a small thing to hold on to, until they could incorporate all their feelings, and find the closeness that they both needed and deserved. "I check on all my children at night, to make sure you are all sleeping soundly. Often when I reach your room, I stand in the doorway, and just watch you sleep. You are my only child that sleeps like Tom did. You sprawl out, taking up the entire bed, looking like it is yours. It's when you are the most peaceful. It was the only time I could count on Tom being at peace as well. His mind worked continuously, weighing odds, solving problems, as does yours and Jarrod's. Jarrod looks peaceful at night, but isn't that free. Tom was free in bed. You look that way too."

"Then I guess I'll have to make sure the covers stay pulled way up," he said blushing, and making a mental note to be sure he was always in clothing from now on. " My mother used to tease me that I would sleep all over the place, half in, half out of the covers. Never thought that would be a problem until now," he added happily, feeling that he could, for the first time since coming, really mention his Mother. Their gifts and her talk helped, and he wasn't in trouble. Coming home had been a smart move.

"Before you go Heath, There is one more thing. Colleen came by today and while she was here, dropped a gift off for you. I should also let you know that she told everyone that the two of you were courting, when she found out you were gone. Since her mother took her home, she asked that I insist you open it if you came home before she saw you, and that you were not to wait for her. I can give you privacy if you want, but I'd really like to stay and see what she got you." Victoria finished by handing him Colleen's gift. "Here"

Taking the box and holding it close he said, "It would be fine if you want to stay. I have no idea what she could have given me. I didn't expect anything."

"Well then, open it."

"Reckon I should." he remarked, as he unwrapped his last Christmas gift. As the paper fell away, he found a stocking and looking inside started shouting, "Come here, everyone. I got marbles. Real marbles." As everyone came running at his shout he added, holding each marble up for everyone's perusal. " I got the Chinese kind like Robert John had, and this is a shooter like Caleb showed off. Can you believe it, Jarrod, I got marbles. Remember I said I never had a stocking, well I always wanted marbles. Colleen remembered. I'll thank her real good for this," he added his eyes dancing at his envisioned thank you. Colleen would well remember it, and so would he. She would be back soon. He would wait, and in the meantime, he would play marbles. "Do you play, Nick? Jarrod? Audra?"

"I did when I was younger," Nick spoke up. "I bet I could whoop you."

"You're on." Heath challenged.

"Not tonight you two. Must everything be a contest? Its two a.m. And we all need our rest. Tomorrow we still have to have Christmas dinner."

Hearing Heath's groan, they all laughed, when they realized Heath had one last tradition to undergo.

"Night all, I think I need my sleep to face dinner tomorrow," Heath said taking his marbles upstairs with him.

"Me to," Nick called closely following Heath's retreating form.

Reaching the top of the landing the two conferred briefly, before separating and going into their own rooms. Jarrod and Audra after taking a few moments to comment on how nice Christmas turned out followed in their wake, leaving Victoria to a few precious minutes alone.

Jarrod and Audra are right, it has been a nice Christmas, she thought, as she finished a cup of tea then prepared to go upstairs to bed. Picking up Heath's gift, to place by her bedside, she decided that tomorrow would come soon enough. She would be able to wake up seeing Tom's face. It was a lovely thought. It didn't take her long to extinguish the lights then climb the curving staircase that led to the bedrooms. Passing Heath's door she shook her head laughing. From inside she could hear muffled curses and the plinging of marbles. Her boys were at it, and having a very good time from the sound of things. They would suffer tomorrow from the lack of sleep, but she refrained from opening the door and putting a halt to the game, which she feared might last all night.

As the watered sun peeked through her curtained window, Victoria realized she was right. She didn't want to get up, but would rather luxuriate in the warmth of her bed, surrounded by the pleasant feelings she retained from last night. Turning on her side she stared at Heath's glorious silhouette of Tom. He had captured Tom's likeness perfectly. It had to have taken hours upon hours of staring at Tom's portrait to produce this accurately detailed carving. It was a true gift of love. Stretching she felt the resistance of the covers as they brushed her body. A few more minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt anybody, and she closed her eyes and drifted back to her dreams.

Jarrod and Audra too, awoke but didn't relish the prospect of getting out of bed. If it weren't for the need of coffee, Jarrod figured he could stay abed all day.

Heath and Nick had officially made it to bed about four a.m., sixteen games of marbles under their belts, and Nick ahead sixteen to zero. Nick had to admit that Heath was improving, and soon, he would be a real challenge. Now how was he going to explain to the ranch hands his new hunting dog was named Puddles, and he had to quit work early as he had a championship title in the game of marbles to defend. Sometimes it was a blessing to not blush and to be naturally loud. While others might snicker, they would not do so for long.

Smiling at the thought, Nick quickly dressed and knocked on Heath's door. Receiving no answer, he decided to just go on in. He wanted to play again. He had been having a very good time with his brother. Opening the door, he called, "Heath," and while it didn't rouse his deeply sleeping brother, it did bring Jarrod and Audra to their doors.

Peering around the doorframe, Jarrod said, "Stop the noise, Nick, some of us are still not ready to face the day."

"I know. Look at Heath here, sleeping like a baby," he said loudly, hoping to jolt his younger brother awake. "He's always the first one up, and the time I need him, there he lays."

"Let him sleep," a hastily dressed Audra said, interrupting her brothers conversation, if you could call it a conversation, she thought. "He's tired."

"We all are. If we can get up, so can he."

"You can be so insensitive," Audra hurled loudly at Nick. "Yesterday may have been long for us, but think of all the emotional upheaval Heath went through. He needs his sleep."

"And I wasn't emotionally upheld...umn..concerned. Oh! All right, enough." Nick said over Jarrod and Audra's laughter.

Abruptly Jarrod stopped laughing as something assailed his senses. "Is that Silas's cooking? I think I smell coffee."

"Right you are," Nick said. "I can taste the bacon already. Let's go."

"I'm ready," Audra said, taking Nick's arm, "But Jarrod still needs to dress."

Closing his door, Jarrod replied that he would meet them downstairs momentarily.

"Have you seen Mother yet?" Audra questioned Nick

"She must be sleeping in today"

"Then we had better get down and tell Silas of the Christmas dinner change of plans. He won't realize we are having it today." Audra said, very naturally, as she assumed the female head of the household role in the absence of her mother.

Silas had made the coffee, and started breakfast, but while Nick seated himself at the table and Audra wen tin to inform him of the change in plans, she found Silas sitting at the kitchen table, his hands clutching an object so tightly, that she couldn't make it out. He seemed deeply lost in thought, and didn't move when she cleared her throat. Moving up beside him, she lay a hand on his shoulder, startling him.

"Oh, Miss Audra, I didn't see you there. Breakfast is on it's way."

"I wanted to let you know that Heath came home late last night. We will be having Christmas dinner with him today. Mother and I will be helping with the preparations as soon as she arises this morning."

"I was wondering why the table was still set so elegantly. I prepared a side table for breakfast in the solarium, just in case Miss Audra."

"That was quick thinking. Now what are you holding, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Nothing Miss. Nothing at all. I'd better go get breakfast finished," he responded.

Knowing that he would not share his secret with her, she added, "And I'd better go get Nick out of the dining room, before he makes a mess and we need to decorate all over again."

"Yes, Miss." Silas said, moving back to the oven.

As soon as she left Silas made his way back to the kitchen table and sat down. Breakfast could wait. He had a gift from Heath. A perfect gift from Heath.

His frail hands shaking, he fought for control as he fondled Heaths remembrance. A miniature paddle steamer. As his mind worked, he recalled his one conversation with Heath about the only book, other than the Bible he had ever heard. An old slave had read Huck Finn to a group of them, and later given his copy to Silas for his journey westward. He didn't even realize Heath had been listening. He had briefly mentioned the one time he had seen a ship like this. The feeling of freedom came rushing back as his shoulders started to shake.

The paddle steamer stood for so much. Faded memories, long banned, were being resurrected forever, by this one simple carving, elegantly detailed. Never noting Audra watching from behind the door, he decided breakfast would have to wait. Sobs overtook him as he went to his room, closing the door and taking out his only real possession. The copy of Huck Finn. He would never be able to read it, but he now had a visual reminder.

*I'll just finish breakfast. Nick is hungry and Jarrod should be on his way down.* Audra decided as she watched Silas's door shut.

Taking the coffee pot to Nick, she said, "Good morning, Jarrod," and poured him a cup as he took a seat.

"This is rather nice," Jarrod remarked. "Was it your idea to eat back here?"

"No. Silas figured that this would save work, since he found the dining room table still set up."

"It is different," Nick added. "Now, how about breakfast. Where is Silas with it?"

"I'll be getting breakfast," Audra told him as Heath entered.

"Am I to late?" Heath questioned, as he took a place at the table.

"Not if you fancy Audra's cooking," Nick said, smiling, as she swatted him on her way back to finish the eggs.

"Figured she was cooking breakfast, as I couldn't find Silas," Heath agreed "Guess I can eat her cooking once a year."

"You wouldn't happen to know what he was holding, or why he isn't cooking would you?" Audra questioned, tossing a look back at Heath.

"Could be anything, I guess," he said, as she watched his eyes shift back to his plate and a half smile dart across his lips.

"Just in case your wondering," she said, looking directly at Heath, "Whatever it was pleased him very much, although he wouldn't share it with me."

"You don't say." Came his smiling reply. Silas was happy. He had survived his first round of gift giving.

"You need help, Sis?" Nick called loudly in hopes of getting his food sooner.

"No, I have it under control." she replied as Victoria, making an appearance said, "Could you please keep your voice down Nick."

"Of course Mother."

"This is nice. Maybe we should have breakfast here after Christmas every year." she added, as Jarrod rose and pulled out a chair for her.

Laughingly, Heath said, "Would that be a new tradition?"

"It would at that. What a great way to celebrate. A new tradition for a new family member." Jarrod said, touching Heath's shoulder on his way back to his seat.

"Here are the eggs and bacon, I'll be back with the biscuits and gravy in a minute." Audra said as she placed the two heaping platters in the middle of the table and darted back to the kitchen. The minute her back turned, Nick reached out to help himself , and by the time she returned over half the eggs and bacon had been eaten.

"I'd like a little," she said, laughingly and helped herself to some of the remaining eggs. "You might have waited for me."

"I, we would have but....."

"Yes!"

"Well, we were hungry," Jarrod finished for Nick.

"Does anyone have plans for today? Dinner will be at five." Victoria asked.

"Lets see. After I beat Heath at marbles, I think I'll go for a ride on Lightning. He's getting much better at obeying commands."

"I was hoping to play a few games of cards with Heath, then finish the alter cloth," Audra put in.

"Here I thought I'd take a nap," Heath said, flushing under the attention.

Turning purposefully back to his food, he finished up just as Nick said "Ready for a game Heath?"

"You bet," he replied. "I'll go get the marbles."

"Race you." Nick said taking off as Heath threw back his chair and hurried after him, their feet pounding up the stairs.

As the three remaining family members stared at each other in amusement, they heard Nick shout, "I got the marbles first. I go first." then a few pause, and Nick again, saying loudly, "It is to fair. Come on."

At least Heath was quiet. Victoria thanked the Lord, then herself hollered, "BOYS!" as they ran past.

Drawing up short, they both answered "Yes Mother?"

"Just a reminder, and it goes for everyone. Dinner is at five sharp. Be prompt, clean, and in a good frame of mind. Now have fun. I have a lot of work to do before dinner. Audra, I'd like your help."

"Certainly, Mother." she answered as they rose and began clearing up, while Jarrod took the opportunity to go to his study.

Jarrod was having a rough time. He was having trouble concentrating. He could hear noise from the kitchen and muffled sounds from outside, but if he was honest with himself, he just wanted to be anywhere other than in this study. Almost anything sounded better then being cooped up with paper. Seeing Helen would make him happy. Spending time with Heath was also something he wanted to do. He still had a hard time not looking at his present from Heath. As he paced he realized that the time and effort that went into the gift astounded him. The quality was outstanding. But more importantly was the thought. He hadn't been touched so deeply in years. He never would have expected this newest member of his family to be able to cause such complex emotion in everyone he came in contact with.

Still pacing, he realized that just like his sister and brother, what he really wanted to do was spend time with Heath today. However his talk with Nick had been so revealing, that he felt Nick needed Heath more. He would respect that need, but he didn't enjoy being noble all the time.

Trying to return his attention to the piles of paperwork he heard a shout of, "I won one!" in Heath's voice, followed by, "Now that I've mastered this game, I'll never play again."

Jarrod had to smile. Somewhere Heath had picked up Nick's measure exactly. Nothing he could have done or said was more perfectly designed to drive Nick berserk. Heath's sense of humor brought a smile to his face. It didn't occur often enough, but hopefully that would change with time.

He briefly wondered what his brothers would do next, as he returned to the stack of paperwork that never seemed to decrease, no matter how much he stared at it. Smiling at that thought, he concentrated and cleared a good quarter of the stack before taking a break.

Opening the patio doors to allow some cool air in the stuffy room he spied Nick working with Lightning, while Heath curried Charger. As he continued to observe his brothers, he saw them occasionally exchange words that he couldn't hear. Drawn by the scene, he watched his rough brother accept help from his quiet brother and partner. The ranch was their bond, respect gave them friendship, and blood made them inseparable. He was as jealous of Nick, as Nick had been of him. He watched as Heath gently led Lightning through a difficult routine, making it look effortless, saw Nick nod, and Heath relinquish control back to Nick. His way with horses was uncanny.

Returning to his desk, he noted that more time had elapsed than he thought. It was only an hour until dinner. Straightening his desk, he walked through the French doors and headed to his brothers.

"Nick, Heath! It's one hour until dinner. You might want to start cleaning up. I think Mother is taking this very seriously."

"That late already?" Nick queried.

"Here, I'll take Lightning in with Charger. It takes you longer to pretty up than it takes me," Heath quipped.

"Fine," Nick replied, adding, "You refused to play another game of marbles, the least you can do is put my horse away."

As Heath led the horses to the barn, Jarrod walked in with Nick, asking, "Nice afternoon?"

"Yes it was Jarrod. Yes it was."

As the brief exchange gave way to companionable silence, both realized that no matter how hard the past nine months had been, and the last four days in particular, they, the family, was each richer for the events as the unfolded. To have changed any one of them would have changed their current relationships.

When Heath reached the upper landing he heard noises coming from each bedroom. Deciding he didn't want to miss a minute of Christmas dinner he hurriedly discarded the idea of using the bathroom, in favor of using the water pitcher and basin on his side table. He washed his face and hands, shaved, donned what he considered suitably fancy clothes with out going as far as wearing a suit, splashed some cologne on to mask and lingering horse odor and rushed downstairs.

He was the first one there. Figures, he thought as he headed to the tantalus and poured himself a whiskey and downed it all at once. He was excited and terrified. Pouring a second whiskey he looked up to see Audra descending the stairs, dressed elegantly in a red gown of satin. God! He was learning about women's fabrics. Satin felt real nice when he held Colleen. Colleen would be thrilled but truly he was appalled at the thought of understanding, or even noticing a fabric. What a different year. Did Nick know anything about fabrics? How would he find out? Probably a topic better left alone he decided.

"Howdy Audra, don't you look nice?" he said, whistling appreciatively only to hear it echoed by Nick as he followed his sister into the parlor.

"I'll take what your having Heath"

Pouring Nick a whiskey he asked, "You want one too, Jarrod?" as he saw Jarrod enter, Victoria on his arm.

"Don't mind if I do. Sherry, Mother? Audra?"

"Yes please," Audra answered prettily as Heath poured and passed drinks all around.

"Thank you" Victoria said, accepting her glass, then added with a twinkle in her eye, "Don't you all look nice and your on time too."

"I gathered we'd better be. That carving set is mighty sharp." Nick said grinning.

"Good thing to. Wait until you see dinner. I think it's the best one ever."

"How can you say that Audra? It's the same every year for as long as I can remember," Nick asked.

"I don't know Nick. It just seems special somehow."

"In that case, why don't we go on in," Jarrod prompted, offering his arm to his mother.

Taking his arm, she rose and they led the way as Audra diplomatically inserted herself between Nick and Heath, claiming, "What luck, having the two most handsome escorts in the room."

Hearing their responding chuckles and Jarrod's "Hey." the family each took their rightful places at the elegantly set dining table.

Having passed the room on the way to and from breakfast, Heath knew it was set perfectly, but now that he was concentrating on it, he noticed how really lavish it was. Deciding not to hide his feelings any longer, but not really sure how to express his awe at the opulence, which was greater than any other night so far, He joked, "Now I know why you own all those silver mines. Probably used one all up just setting this table."

As Nick laughed, Victoria carefully eyed each piece and said, "It does look that way, doesn't it? Yet every piece on this table has a history. If you'd like I'll explain it all to you soon, for its history you should know as well, just like I'd enjoying hearing more about your background."

"I'd like that Ma'a....Mother," he answered, as she snickered, catching his slip.

As the light conversation continued, Silas entered bearing two trays.

Noticing that it was time for the first course Victoria announced, "Jarrod as the eldest, will you say grace?"

"Certainly. Dear God, We take this opportunity to thank you for the many gifts you have bestowed on us, and we recognize that it is through your goodness and divine blessing that we are wholly united as a family as we gather to celebrate this meal honoring the birth of your son, our Lord Jesus."

Now that the prayer was finished, Silas continued his progress to the table noting each person reflecting on Jarrod's carefully chosen words. That man had a silver tongue. There was no way anyone could refute that statement.

He set down the first plate containing small cheese tarts by Victoria and the second was placed by Jarrod, holding what Heath recognized to be six raw oysters.

"There is no way, no matter how much you all mean to me, that I am eating raw oysters." The words slipped out before he even registered that they had been said. It was a first for Heath. Seeing his families surprised faces and mixed grins, he added "Ummmn...I guess I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine," Jarrod said, trying to get the words out past he biggest smile he remembered wearing in years. Never had the Christmas table been so lively. What a welcome change. "The oysters are for me. Father took me to San Francisco when I was seven and I ate one and loved it. Mother has seen to it that I have them every Christmas since," he finished, smiling fondly at his mother.

"Just as long as you don't expect me to eat one." Heath said, still eying the oysters with disgust.

"I won't eat them either," Audra whispered conspiratorially. "It makes me sick to look at them. I just consider it training for all the fancy parties I will be giving some day."

"If I get invited to any of them, warn me ahead of time."

"I can't say I have ever seen you squeamish before, Heath," Nick spoke up. "You look gray. I've seen you handle lots. I mean you've held mens insides after they fell on a ......."

:"That will be enough Nick. The table is not the place for horror tales....." Victoria scolded, abruptly ending Nick's train of thought, then added, "But I am curious how the sight of an oyster can make you look....well....grey as Nick said."

"Well Ma'am."

"HEATH!"

Smiling this time, he once again amended, "Mother, it's a rather ridiculous story. I doubt anyone really will want to hear it."

"Is it like the Christmas tree story?" Nick chimed in again.

"About that silly, I guess."

"Then by all means boy, talk."

"Yes Heath, you have me curious as well," Jarrod added, as he exaggeratedly reached for a raw oyster, and with all the class of a skid row bum, slurped it down as loudly as possible, smacking his lips together in enjoyment as he watched Heath squirm and look like he needed to leave the table.

Quietly fighting back the bile that rose with Jarrod's display. Heath purposefully turned his chair toward Victoria and started to speak softly, then stopped as she raised a finger asking Silas to hold the main course ten minutes.

"Yes Mrs. Barkley, I'll do that ," He said, smiling but remaining in the room to hear Heath's tale.

"Now Heath," Victoria prompted.

"Well I was in San Francisco crabbing in November, I think it was November, and we were up the coast near about Bodega Bay, when the winds shifted and we got dashed pretty good against the rocks. They tore a hole in the boat and we all waded to shore. No one was hurt, but the boat and cargo sank. It was to wet for a fire, and Bodega really only has oysters in abundance. We couldn't cook them, but these men said that they were often eaten raw, and that the fancy people did it all the time in those nice restaurants."

Victoria noted that a soft drawl had returned to his voice as he slipped deeper into his memories, then happily refocused on his story.

"Some of us were sent to collect oysters, others were shucking them. When I got back, Salvatore showed me how to open them. I watched as he expertly opened it with his pocket knife then tipped the raw oyster into his mouth. I remember thinking, I can do this easily. So I got my knife, took an oyster, and opened it. I only made one mistake. The mistake of looking at it. It was looking back at me. Did you know they have blue eyes? I barely made it out of eyesight before I couldn't hold breakfast. It was a cold, hungry two days for me, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't eat one."

Shaking his head he repeated, "They have big blue eyes."

As Heath once again fought the rising bile, Jarrod said, "Silas, you may remove these. Thank you."

"Of course Mr. Barkley, but don't you want to finish them?"

"No I do not. Thanks to Heath I doubt I will ever eat one again," Jarrod remarked as his family laughed.

"Boy Jarrod, you look as green as Heath does grey." Nick commented, getting more amusement out of Jarrod's discomfort then Heath's story, while Audra and Victoria politely tried not to laugh out loud.

"Are you sure?" Audra questioned.

"Yep," the noticing Jarrod's pallor, he grinned and elaborated, "I tell you Sis, they have these little grey eye stalks about half an inch long with bright blue eyes on the end, that they wave around trying........"

"That will be enough," Victoria asserted, as Jarrod grew greener and Heath openly chuckled.

"Boy Howdy Jarrod, didn't think anything ever ruffled your feathers."

"That will be all Heath. Thank you." Victoria chuckled. "Silas, perhaps now would be a good time for the main course."

"Yes Mrs. Barkley."

While everyone sat, thoroughly amused, Victoria decided that things changed. They wouldn't have oysters at Christmas again, but they would have Heath. Recognizing she would give up Christmas altogether to keep Heath, she also realized that traditions would need to change as well. Next year she would add a dish for Heath, and if she wasn't mistaken, perhaps for a few daughters-in -law as well.

She looked at her family happily, as Silas rolled out the serving cart, holding both the roast turkey and the standing rib roast. Jarrod would begin carving soon.

In a moment Jarrod stood, and picking up the ivory handled carving set, said, "Heath, is there something I should know about turkey or beef before I carve?"

"No. I guess you probably know as much about land animals as I do," Heath chuckled.

With that Jarrod expertly carved while Silas ferried in the remainder of the main course and placed the dishes all around the table. It didn't take anybody any time to figure out that Victoria had gone to great lengths to make the dinner special.

"Did you include every dish we ever had on Christmas?" Nick asked, as he watched the food mount.

They were going to have carrots, potatoes, parsnips, brussel sprouts with roast chestnuts, wild rice and soda bread. There was also the best Cabernet the ranch had ever produced.

Nick did the honors with the wine and everyone loaded their plates with a large variety of the assorted foods.

"Wonderful," Jarrod murmured, passing the tray of perfectly browned, tender roast beef and helping himself to a second portion of vegetables.

"Agreed" Nick and Heath said in unison, the words forming around the food filling their mouths.

The eating continued, basically uninterrupted, except for Audra's comment reminding everyone to save room for dessert as she helped herself to more parsnips.

"Dessert? What do you have for dessert?" Heath asked, unable to imagine even more food on top of what was already being eaten.

"Oh Heath, you helped make it. It's the Christmas pudding. Remember?" Audra said.

"No, I don't think I do."

Seeing his blank look, Jarrod filled him in, by saying, "Remember the grey mixture that we all stirred while we were stringing berries and making the pomander balls? That is dessert."

"That, is dessert. Why don't you just force the oysters down me," Heath choked looking ill again. "I guess it's just simple food for me, and grey isn't a color I want to eat."

Laughing, Victoria said, " I can almost promise you that you will enjoy it. Secondly, it is no longer grey, and while we will light it on fire, I promise you will survive. Then Heath, you must have a piece anyway because it is a tradition and it will tell your destiny for the coming year."

"Now I'm intrigued. You sure it isn't grey?"

"No Sir-re Mr. Heath," Silas said entering to clear the table of the remains of the main course. "It's a lovely deep rich mahogany color."

"Well I can try it, I reckon," he said, as he laid down his fork to let Silas have his plate.

"I'll have it ready in a minute Mrs. Barkley."

"No hurry, Silas, we can just sit and digest what we've already eaten, so we can do justice to dessert."

"That's right," Nick chimed in. "I want to have lots of room for dessert."

"You always do," Audra teased.

"Yeah, but it's Jarrod over there that just sits. Too much dessert and you can see it in a minute. I'll help you out Jarrod and have your portion this year."

"You're to kind but I'll manage." Jarrod added sarcastically.

"The offer still stands, if you change your mind."

Trying to break up what could continue until the dessert was served, Audra said, "What do you want to get for your fortune? I'm hoping to get the marriage charm."

"Seems you've said that for years, Sis," Nick said, turning his attention to her.

"Not wanting to get him started again, she turned and looked down at the table, then asked "Mother, perhaps I could get the dessert plates ready for Silas."

"That would be nice, dear. I'm sure he would appreciate the help."

Rising, Audra made her way to the sideboard and picked up the set of Haviland plates, delicately edged in gold, and decorated with small pink flowers. "Mother, are you going to do the honors, or are we passing it around this year?"

"Does anyone have a way they want it done?" Victoria questioned. "Majority rules."

"Pass it around." Nick stated.

"You cut it Mother." Jarrod announced.

"I think we should each cut our own slice," Audra added.

"Heath, that makes the vote yours. Side with Audra and I and we won't need a tie breaker."

These were the times he hated. Having to make decisions on things he didn't understand. Normally he would say, whatever, or I reckon you all can decide, but this was not normal. He was a part of this family and he would be heard. "I guess you will just have to explain to me what you are talking about, before I can make a decision. Remember I've never done this before."

Sheepishly, Nick said, "Sorry Heath, you're right. It always seems like I grew up with you, so I forget sometimes that you've only been here a year."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment," Heath smiled, "But someone still needs to explain. What are we eating? Why are we cutting it? What fortune?"

"I'll field these," Jarrod cut in. "The dessert is called Christmas pudding, although I must say it doesn't resemble a pudding at all. It's kind of like a heavy fruitcake that has been soaked in brandy for weeks. Silas will bring it out, decorated with a sprig of holly. I don't know why. It's just always been done that way. Why is there holly on it Mother?"

"The holly is just for looks Jarrod," Victoria answered. "Please continue."

"Silas will douse it in Brandy at the table. Nick likes him to use a lot. Then he will light it on fire. Then either Mother will cut pieces or it will be passed around and we will each cut our own. The theory is that everyone who is going to partake of the dessert must stir it. As the people stir, the charms placed in the pudding get distributed throughout, and determine our yearly fortune. When you receive your piece the charm, or charms you receive will tell you what the future is supposed to hold for you. It's always fun digging through the pudding trying to find a charm, and then sharing them with everyone. Now the reason I wanted to be the one to explain this to you, is so I would have the floor so to speak. We need Mother to cut it. Supposedly the charm you get was determined when you stirred it. The only reason Nick wants to cut it, is so he can take a huge piece. You make the call, Heath."

"Hey, that's not fair. It's called leading the witness." Nick shot out.

"Well, brother Nick, the early bird, so to speak gets to prompt. Also Heath knows I'm telling the truth. Oh, and I forgot to add that you put brandy butter icing on top, before you eat it, to sweeten it up."

"Seeing as how you explained it so well, Jarrod, I think I'll join you in voting to have Mother cut the pudding."

"Well now, it's still a tie," Nick gloated. "Mother?"

"Wait a minute. I forgot that Jarrod. He did take half the dessert last year didn't he? I'm changing my vote. Mother you cut it." Audra decided.

"I think you've just been outvoted brother Nick," Jarrod gloated, as Silas entered carrying the delicious looking dessert and a bottle of brandy.

Placing the dessert in the center of the table, Silas opened the bottle of warmed brandy while the entire family quieted. As he glanced around, he could tell how much this tradition meant to them. No matter what they had been through, this was always pleasurable and could temporarily lift their spirits. He'd seen it in years past, but this year it would just be for fun. They were in excellent spirits, and he was crediting it to the return of his Heath. If anyone's eyes could get any bigger, he doubted he would ever notice. Heath looked like a child awaiting fireworks. He would provide them soon.

Opening the bottle, he looked at Mr. Nick and saw the nod. Taking that to mean, be liberal, he coated the Christmas pudding in brandy, allowing a small puddle to form in the bottom of the platter. Once again looking for Nick's nod and receiving it, he stopped and produced a match. Quickly lighting the match he tossed it into the lake, and stepped back, watching with as much awe as Heath, as the brandy, in a loud whoosh, went up in flames. As it burned, the hot blue flames produced by the alcohol, danced around the plate, lending a magical glow to the darkened room. Finally, the brandy was consumed, and the dessert would be warm when served.

Taking the platter to Mrs. Barkley, Silas handed her the dessert knife set and returned to the kitchen for the bowls of brandy butter. By the time he returned, since he was timing it that way, the family should have their slices and be discovering what charms they got. He said a special prayer that Heath would get a charm. Often someone would get none and others two. He needed to get one on his first Christmas. Yes he could hear the talk begin. Time to bring in the icing.

He returned just in time. Victoria was handing Jarrod his piece and taking the last one for herself.

Standing near the table, Silas waited.

"Well, who's going first?" Nick asked.

"I'm looking," Audra said, while she dug through her dessert.

"Can't we all just look?" Heath questioned. The anticipation was killing him and he didn't want to wait.

"That's a great idea," Victoria remarked. "Makes me feel a little silly that we've never done it before," she continued, eagerly starting to look through her piece as well.

Seeing the women looking, everyone dug in but Nick, and soon the room rang with laughter.

"No!" Audra wailed. "Not again. I got spiritual grace. Maybe I am destined to join a convent" she whined, holding aloft the small silver cross.

"You? Never!" Nick shot back, while everyone joined in the laughter.

"Doesn't this make four years in a row? I don't see you getting more religious, so I doubt you're convent bound." Jarrod snickered.

"Thanks so much, my old brother, and just what are you hiding under your fork?"

"What do you mean?" Jarrod asked innocently.

"I just saw you set your fork down over something shiny. What was it?"

"I.....well......"

"Speechless, Jarrod?" Nick said. "That could only mean you got the marriage rings, so I guess I can start looking for mine now. Wanted to be sure I was safe first," he added, tearing into his piece with great ferocity, for such an innocent dessert.

"Marriage. How exciting Jarrod. Must be Helen." Audra teased, not realizing how close she was coming to hitting the mark. She really couldn't imagine any of her brothers married yet.

"Well what do you think about this?. I have two." Nick said. "The coin and the apple. Health and prosperity both. This should be a great year. Mother, Heath, hurry up."

"I'm sure they both have theirs, but neither are talking," Jarrod surmised.

"That's correct," Victoria confirmed. "I have a charm, and I am waiting for Heath before I reveal mine."

"Well I'd tell you what mine was if I knew myself."

"Show us then," Nick said.

"Here." Heath said, thrusting it at Audra.

"Heath, how perfect," she said, feeling completely overwhelmed as images of the past year assailed her.

"Are you okay?" Heath asked.

"Something wrong?" Nick questioned.

"Audra?" Jarrod added, when she didn't respond.

Seeing their sister upset was something all three brothers hated.

"No. I'm fine. I was just thinking. Guess what ? Heath got the circle of hands."

Seeing everyone's smile, Heath said, "Can you let me in on the secret?"

"You got....."

"No, Nick. I'm telling him. He handed it to me," Audra cut in as she threw her arms around Heath and hugged him for all she was worth. "You got the charm that stands for family unity."

As Silas choked back a sob, he noticed that he was not the only one. Nothing could have been more perfect. God had answered his prayers.

Heath too, was observing his family. His family. They were his family. Smiling peacefully, he said, "It took some time, but it feels right, doesn't it?"

"Yes it does, Heath. Yes it does," Victoria confirmed. "I should have gone first. You had the perfect ending to a wonderful year. I thought I did, which was why I waited."

"Mother?" Jarrod said.

"I got the four leaf clover, for good fortune. This past year and week in particular, has made me realize so much. Being together, all together," she said, looking pointedly at Heath with a transfiguring smile on her face, "Is the best fortune we could have as a family. I can't wait for next year, when we can spend the whole time together."

A chorus of "Agreed, right, and hear, hear" greeted her ears, but Heath's smile and the contented faces of her children warmed her heart.

After a lengthy pause, that left each member examining their own feelings, Nick said, "Now pass the brandy butter," breaking the solemnity of the moment. "I'm hungry."

"Reckon I'd like to try this as well," Heath said, helping himself to a spoonful of the icing and spooning it on top of the pudding, like Nick had."

"Brandy butter, Audra?" Jarrod asked, a twinkle in his eye.

"You know I don't like it, Jarrod," she replied.

"Too much brandy perhaps? Maybe you do belong in a convent."

"That isn't funny," she replied, while everyone laughed at her expense. "Next year the wedding rings are mine."

"What ever you say, Sis" Nick said, placing his last fork full of the pudding in his mouth. "Anyone full who didn't finish?"

Smiling at their light banter, Victoria happily allowed the meal to finish. "Shall we all light the tree one more time. It's only seven, and we haven't lit it that much this year."

"I know I'd like that," Heath answered quickly. Some day I'll tell you about the nicest tree I ever saw, until this one.

Realizing that he was offering, but would refuse more information tonight, "Victoria said, "Perhaps when I explain all the pieces on the table?"

"Yep, that might work," he responded, flashing her a tight grin. It may be a little to soon, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. For now he intended to enjoy the nights end.

"Well," Nick said, rising, "If I'm not getting any more dessert, we may as well get that tree lit. I sure can't wait to see it."

"See you there," Jarrod called, as he darted for the door, already ahead by a good margin.

"Doesn't that just beat all." Nick stated as he followed his brother.

The remainder of the tables occupants rose and followed at a more sedate pace, Victoria on Heath's arm.

Lighting the tree took very little effort this time, since they already knew that the candles had been placed correctly, ensuring no danger of fire. Just as they were about to finish a light knock came at the door.

"I'll get it, I'm right here," Heath said, pulling the handle open. "Colleen! What brings you here? Is everything okay? Boy am I glad to see you. Come on in. No, on second thought wait right there for me, Okay?"

Perplexed, she responded, "Fine, Heath" as he shut the door on her.

"Heath, wasn't that Colleen?" Audra questioned.

"Yep," he replied, blushing.

"Well you can't just leave her out there."

"She'll be in shortly I reckon. Lets get this tree lit."

"Done," Jarrod pronounced.

Extinguishing the lights, everyone stared in awe at the glistening tree one final time, shining in all its glory. They were only briefly aware of the light breeze that entered when Heath snuck outside.

Pulling Colleen along with him, he walked to the front window and placed his arms around her waist, drawing her close. As she leaned against him, he whispered, "Have you ever seen so lovely a tree, or had so magical a night?"

Knowing that this moment had more to do with him then them, but proud that he chose to share it with her, Colleen answered softly, "Never, Heath," and meant it.

"Thank you for the marbles. I finally beat Nick. Let's go inside. I hear the Barkley's serve the finest egg nog in the valley after Christmas dinner."

Hearing the happiness in his voice she decided explanations of where he had been could wait. "Heath I'm going home now. I just needed to make sure you were alright. See you tomorrow?"

"I think I can get away," he responded playfully.

"Go inside to your family."

Using his lips to show her how much she meant to him, he whispered, "Thank you for understanding," then turned and watched as she mounted her horse. As she rode away, and Victoria released the draperies edge, he returned to the warmth of his family. It was going to be a great year. Opening the door, he entered the parlor and sat down to play a game of cards with Audra.

Thinking back to the years start, he clearly remembered a ride on Gal, where he decided the only things he needed to be truly happy were a family and peace. It had been a long journey, but he finally had them and he wasn't letting go.