The following Big Valley fan fiction story takes place after the fan fiction story, "Counselor at Law" and is based on events mentioned during the fourth season episode, "They Called Her Delilah."

Jarrod was now a lawyer with offices in both Stockton and San Francisco although he had not opened his office in San Francisco to clients as of yet. He was set to work for Adam Howard in his office before he opened up his own office but this business with Matt had delayed that. Adam had agreed upon the death of Colonel Robert Hodges who was Jarrod’s superior officer during his stay in the army, to help the young man get set up in San Francisco. Hodges had told Jarrod that he would help the young man get set up but he had died unexpectedly before Jarrod was finished with his schooling.

Jarrod had not seen Matt in four years. Matt had become a bitter and angry man since Jarrod had last seen him and also because his relationship with Julia Saxon had not worked out the way he had hoped. He was still madly in love with her but she had felt nothing for him. All she had wanted from him was the secrets he possessed. Jarrod had gone to Washington right after passing his bar exam and represented Matt during his court-martial. Thanks to Jarrod, Matt didn’t have to serve any jail time but Jarrod noticed the bitterness and tried to talk to Matt about it but he wouldn’t listen.

"Matt," Jarrod said, "before you go home you need to get this anger out in the open. All it’s going to do is make you miserable."

"I know that Jarrod," Matt replied. "I don’t need you to tell me. You’re worse than my mother is. Always needling me about this and that."

"I’m sorry Matt," Jarrod told him. "But you have completely changed from the boy I joined the army with."

"I know that," Matt said. "You introduced me to her. You’re to blame. If it hadn’t been for you I would never had met her."

"Yes I am to blame for that," Jarrod replied. "And I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say."

"You should be sorry," Matt told him. "I would really appreciate it if you would mind your own business and just leave me alone."

"If that’s what you want," Jarrod said and walked off.

He couldn’t believe the change that had come over Matt. The person he knew, as his best friend no longer existed. Matt was now just the shell of the man he once was and Jarrod knew that Matt would probably be dead within the next year.

"Matt," Harry said, "I’m not serving you any more. You’re drunk and I’m not going to let you hurt yourself anymore. Now go home and sleep it off."

"No!" Matt yelled. "I want another drink. So give it to me."

"I’m not going to," Harry replied. "Ross and Worth will be here soon to take you home."

"Why did you have to tell them?" Matt asked. "All they’re going to do is get mad at me."

"That’s what you deserve," Harry answered. "Now go on."

Matt finally gave in and left the saloon. He set down on the step outside and waited for his two brothers to come get him.

Ross and Worth, Matt’s younger brothers arrived in town a short time later. When they saw Matt, they were disgusted with him for being drunk again. They were getting angry with their brother for giving up and not fighting back. They tried to talk to him that evening after they returned home from Stockton.

"Matt," Ross said, "you can’t keep doing this to yourself. She’s not worth it."

"How would you know whether she’s worth it or not," Matt shot back. "You’ve never seen Julia."

"We know that you can’t keep doing this to yourself," Worth told him. "This is killing Mom and Dad to see you do this. They were so proud of you when you joined the army and went to fight in the war. Then something happened and you came home so bitter and angry."

"Don’t bring Mom and Dad into this Worth," Matt said. "They don’t have anything to do with this. It has to do with me and only me."

"I have to," Ross replied. "You don’t see what they’re going through. I beg to differ with you. It is affecting all of us. You are the talk of Stockton. People stop us on the street and ask how the drunk is. Or people laugh behind our backs."

"No!" Matt yelled. "I will not stop! Just leave me alone! I don’t care anymore!"

"Have it your own way," Worth told him. "Go on and kill yourself. See if we care."

"Now Worth," Ross said, "Matt’s going to be all right. He’s a big boy now and he doesn’t need us hanging all over him."

"Thanks Ross," Matt said.

"No thanks necessary," Ross replied. "But you need to straighten up Matt!"

Then the two brothers just walked away from their oldest brother. They were at the ends of their ropes trying to deal with Matt’s drinking. It was tearing them up inside to see what was happening to their brother. About that time, Matt’s best friend, Jarrod Barkley, visited.

"Matt," Jarrod said, "you can’t keep doing this to yourself. She’s not worth throwing your life away for."

"And why not," Matt shot back. "It’s my life and without her I have no life."

"Yes you do Matt," Jarrod replied. "You have a lot to live for. You can make a new life for yourself. You’ll meet another girl and forget all about Julia."

"Oh no I can’t," Matt told him. "My life ended when Julia left. You have the law to lean on. I have nothing left."

"Matt," Jarrod said, "I know that I introduced you to her. But that was before I knew what she was and what she wanted. Then I got hurt and couldn’t tell you. When I was well enough, I tried but you wouldn’t listen. I’m sorry that I ever introduced you two. In a way this is my fault. If I hadn’t introduced you to her you wouldn’t be here in this shape now."

"I’m not blaming you Jarrod," Matt replied. "You thought she was a wonderful girl. I should have listened to myself about her. But that’s water under the bridge. I don’t want to go on living. I want to end it now."

"You can’t mean that Matt," Jarrod said. "You have so much to live for. Just take some time and you’ll see that you can go on without her. Your family needs you too."

"No I don’t!" Matt shot back. "My life ended the day she left!"

"Please Matt," Jarrod said, "listen to me."

"No!" Matt yelled. "Get out and leave me alone! Go!"

Jarrod left dejected and very upset. He had failed to help ease his friend’s pain. If fact he might have made matters much worse. He didn’t know how to help his friend. He rode home and thought about what Matt had said. He was the one to blame. He had caused his best friend to give up on living and life altogether. He had to figure out a way to turn Matt around before it was too late. When Jarrod walked into the house, he went straight up to his room. Victoria knew there was something bothering him and she promised herself that she would talk to him in the morning.

"Matt," Ross said, "would you please tell us what’s bothering you so much? Maybe if you talk about it you’ll feel better."

"All right," Matt replied. "You want to know why I am so angry and bitter. While Jarrod and I were in Washington, he met a girl. Her name was Julia Saxon. She was very beautiful. She had blond hair and blue eyes. She also had the most beautiful voice you have ever heard. She fell in love with Jarrod the first time she saw him. Then a little later he fell in love with her. He couldn’t stop talking about her. I tried to warn him that she might not be what she claimed to be. But he didn’t listen. Julia asked to meet me after Jarrod had told her about me being his best friend and the fact that we had grown up together. So I accompanied Jarrod over to her room one evening. She was beautiful. I fell in love with her too. I tried to tell myself that she was my best friend’s girl but it didn’t work. The problem was that she didn’t love me. She only loved Jarrod. She only wanted information out of me. Before Jarrod could tell me that she was a Confederate spy, he was badly wounded. I spent the night with Julia while Jarrod lay in a hospital bed. My best friend was dying and I was sleeping with his girl. I made Julia promise not to tell him after he woke up. There was no need to upset him. He had just come out of a coma and the news probably would have sent him back into one. She played us both for fools. Anyway, I was transferred away from Jarrod and we had a bitter argument about Julia. He had learned the truth about her and tried to tell me. But I wouldn’t listen. I yelled at him and we parted on bitter terms. When I came back several months later, right before he was to leave for home, I had realized that Jarrod was right and we parted friends. I told him that I still wanted to stay in the army as long as possible. I knew that I was going to be court-martialed for what I had done but I still loved the army. I was still in love with her when Jarrod left Washington to go home. But then Julia left and I was court-martialed. After that, I just didn’t care anymore. So that’s the reason."

"So Jarrod Barkley introduced you to Julia?" Worth asked.

"Yes he did," Matt answered.

"Do you blame him for what’s happened?" Ross asked.

"No," Matt replied. "He was taken in by her too. We both loved her. I did at first but not anymore."

"All right," Ross said. "We’ll talk to you later."

They left Matt’s room and went outside. Matt sat on his bed thinking. After sitting there a few minutes, he raised the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. His family came running.

"Matt!" his mother, Mary screamed. "No! Why son why?"

His father, John, grabbed and hugged her. Ross and Worth just looked at their dead brother and walked out. They knew what had to be done.

"Mary," John said, "it’s all right. Matt’s at peace now. He didn’t have it after he came home. I don’t know what happened while Matt was in Washington but something did. Something that he couldn’t deal with. Something to do with Jarrod Barkley, his so-called best friend."

"I know John," she replied. "I wish it could have been different. What do you mean so-called best friend? Those two boys grew up together. They were inseparable when they were boys."

"I just mean that something happened when those two were in Washington and it upset Matt so much that he ended up taking his own life," John told her. "I mean no disrespect to Jarrod."

"All right," Mary said. "Let’s get things cleaned up."

Outside on the porch, Ross and Worth just stood and stared. They both knew what had to be done. They vowed that night to carry it out.

"Worth," Ross said as they stood on the porch, "you know what we have to do."

"Yeah," Worth replied. "We’ll take care of it after the funeral."

"Right," Ross told him.

Then they rode to Stockton and asked Mr. Beckett to accompany them to the ranch to pick up Matt’s body for burial.

"Good morning Sheriff Lyman," Silas said.

"Good morning Silas," Harry replied. "Is Jarrod at home?"

"Yes he is," Silas answered.

"Can I speak to him?" Harry asked. "It’s very important."

"Certainly," Silas told him. "Won’t you come in?"

"Thank you," Harry said as he walked inside the door.

Silas left to go to the dining room. He walked in and went over to Jarrod.

"Mr. Jarrod," he said, "the sheriff would like to see you."

"Thank you Silas," Jarrod replied and got up.

Jarrod walked into the foyer to see the sheriff.

"Harry," he said, "what can I do for you?"

"I have some bad news Jarrod," Harry told him. "Matt Parker died last night."

"Matt’s dead," Jarrod said and felt himself go numb all over. "He can’t be. How did it happen?"

Matt had ended his life just like he had said he would. Jarrod couldn’t stop him. Victoria, who had walked out after Jarrod, walked over and put an arm around Jarrod’s shoulders. He was devastated and very upset.

"Harry," Victoria said, "when did it happen?"

"Last night," Harry answered. "They say he was cleaning his revolver and it went off."

"How terrible," Victoria replied. "Thanks for coming Harry."

"I’m sorry Jarrod," Harry said and left.

Victoria led Jarrod to the parlor and he sat down on the couch. He was shaking all over. She sat down beside of him and held him close.

"Jarrod," she said, "I’m so sorry."

"Mother, he replied beginning to cry, "I just saw him yesterday. I didn’t think he would actually end his life this way. He was so bitter and angry. He kept saying that he couldn’t go on. He couldn’t live without her."

"Jarrod," she asked, "how are you?"

"I’m numb all over," he said. "I need to go and see his family. Matt was only thirty but he looked like an old man."

"I’ll go with you," she replied. "We’ll go now if you would like. I don’t think you should ride over by yourself."

"Give me a few minutes," he told her.

"Certainly," she said. "Take as long as you need."

She rose and walked out of the room. She stopped and looked back at him. He was sitting there crying. Even at twenty-nine he looked like a little boy sitting on the couch so upset. He had just lost his best friend. He would need his family now to help him through this. She wished his father was still here but he wasn’t and she knew she would have to help her son through his sorrow and despair. She went into the dining room where Nick, Gene and Audra were eating.

"Mother," Nick asked, "is anything wrong?"

"Yes," she replied. "Matt Parker is dead."

"Matt’s dead," Nick said. "But he was Jarrod’s best friend."

"That’s right," she told him. "Your brother is in the parlor. He’s very upset so I told him I would ride over to the Parker’s with him."

"Mother," Nick said, "can I go see Jarrod? Maybe I can help."

"Yes," she replied.

Nick rose from the table and went to the parlor. Jarrod was still sitting there crying. Nick walked over to him, sat down beside of him and put his arm around Jarrod’s shoulders.

"It’s all right ‘pappy,’" he said. "I’m so sorry about Matt."

"Thanks Nick," Jarrod replied. "I wish father were here. I could really use his guidance right now."

"I know ‘pappy,’" Nick told him. "I’ll be here for you big brother."

"Thanks Nick," he said. "That means a lot."

The two brothers sat together silently. Nick wasn’t about to leave his brother’s side. After a few more minutes, Jarrod rose, wiped his face and walked to his mother, who was in the dining room.

"Mother," he said, "I’m now ready to go."

"All right," she replied.

"Jarrod," Gene told him as he turned to leave, "I’m sorry about Matt."

"Thanks," Jarrod said.

"I am too," Audra replied.

Jarrod nodded his head and left the room.

"Gene," she said, "Audra, give him some time. He’s hurt and upset right now."

"We understand," Gene replied.

Victoria knew Jarrod was hurting inside. She promised herself that she would talk to him later about Matt. There was more to it than just the death of Matt Parker. She knew her son. The two of them left the ranch and rode over to the Parkers in the buggy. Victoria drove because Jarrod was in no condition to drive.

"Jarrod," she said as they rode, "are you sure you’re up to this? We could wait until later to see his family."

"No," he replied. "I need to see them. I need them to understand that I didn’t mean to cause Matt’s death."

"What do you mean you caused Matt’s death?" she asked.

"I caused it mother," he answered. "If I hadn’t introduced them, he wouldn’t be dead. It’s my fault. My fault."

"Jarrod," she said, "whatever happened between you and Matt in Washington did not cause Matt to die. You are not to blame."

"Yes I am," he replied. "I am just as responsible if I had pulled the trigger myself."

"Jarrod," she told him, "what are you saying?"

"I’m saying that because of me my best friend is dead," he said. "I’m sorry Matt. Please forgive me."

Victoria didn’t say anymore. Jarrod wouldn’t have listened anyway. He was blaming himself. She would talk to him more after they got home.

"Ross," Jarrod said as he walked up to them, "Worth, I’m sorry about Matt. I wish I could have done more. I tried to talk to him yesterday but he was so angry."

"You did enough Barkley," Ross said.

They just walked off from him. He knew they were hurting and probably blamed him but he didn’t press the issue. He was having enough trouble dealing with Matt’s death himself.

"John," Victoria said as she walked up to him, "I’m so sorry. Matt was a good boy and a real good friend to Jarrod."

"Thank you Victoria," John replied. "How’s Jarrod taking this? He and Matt were so close."

"He’s upset," Victoria told him. "He wanted to come speak to you. He thought the world of Matt."

At that moment, Jarrod walked up.

"Mr. Parker," he said, "I’m so sorry about Matt. I didn’t mean for this to happen."

"It’s not your fault Jarrod," John told him. "Matt was hurt and he was bitter. You didn’t have anything to do with it."

"But sir," Jarrod said.

"You didn’t," he repeated again. "You need to concentrate on your own life. You no longer need to worry about Matt. He’s dead now."

Jarrod just walked away. He and his mother came home shortly afterward. The ride home was very quiet. Jarrod still blamed himself for Matt’s death. If only he hadn’t introduced Matt to Julia, Matt would still be alive.

"Jarrod," she said, "would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?" Victoria asked after they arrived back at the ranch.

"No," he replied. "It’s something that I have to deal with."

Jarrod walked off from his mother and went upstairs to his room and closed the door. Victoria decided to follow him. She walked upstairs to his door and knocked.

"Son," she said, "we need to talk."

"Go away," he replied.

"No," she told him. "Please open the door."

A few minutes later, Jarrod opened the door and his mother walked inside. Jarrod sat down on the bed and cried.

"Jarrod," she begged, "please tell me what’s bothering you. I can help you. I know there’s more to it than just the court-martial and Matt’s drinking."

"Mother," he began, "when Matt and I first arrived in Washington, we were happy. Matt was fulfilling his lifelong dream. He was a soldier. Then I met Julia Saxon. We fell in love. I don’t know why but we did. I never should have become involved with her. She didn’t care about Matt or me. I talked to her about my best friend and she wanted to meet him. I told Matt about her and he said he didn’t want to bother us. I told him he was no bother. I introduced Matt to Julia. He immediately fell in love with her."

Jarrod stopped and looked away. Victoria sat down beside of him and pulled him close.

"It’s all right," she said. "Take your time."

"Anyway," he replied, "I didn’t realize that Matt was in love with her. Then when I was badly injured, Matt went to see Julia to tell her about me. She was worried about me but she was also playing on Matt’s emotions. He ended up spending the night with her while I was lying in the infirmary. When I came to, he wouldn’t look at me. I guess he felt guilty. Julia was more distant too. I was released and that’s when I figured out what Julia was. She was a spy who only wanted information. When I tried to tell Matt he became angry and wouldn’t listen. Then he was transferred away. He didn’t talk to me for months. And then when the time came for me to come home, he finally talked to me. He told me he understood what she was. But deep down he was still in love with her. She left Washington shortly afterward. Then the downhill slide started. Matt was court-martialed and then when he came here, he began to drink. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen. I guess he found a faster way. I went to see him yesterday. He threw me out of the house."

Now that it was out in the open Victoria understood Jarrod’s feelings. She hugged her son.

"Jarrod," she said, "I believe that Matt really cared about Julia. He never wanted to hurt you. She played on his feelings. That’s why he became angry. Believe me when I say that I truly believe that Matt is happier now."

"I know," he replied. "But it’s just hard to say goodbye."

"I know it is," she told him. "You need to concentrate on your own life."

"You’re right," he said. "Thanks mother. I feel a whole lot better."

"You’re welcome son," she replied and left the room.

Jarrod sat there a few more minutes and then went to the study to do some work.

"Ross," he said, "Worth, I just wanted to tell how sorry I am about Matt. He was a wonderful friend."

"He didn’t deserve a friend like you Jarrod," Worth said. "You know you killed him. Why did you have to take Matt away?"

"I didn’t," Jarrod replied. "I was trying to help him."

"Help him," Ross told him. "If that was help, I’d like to see how you would have handled it if you had been angry at him. Now leave us alone."

They wouldn’t listen and just walked away. Victoria came up to Jarrod.

"Jarrod," she said, "they’re hurting. Give them some time. Then you can talk to them."

"All right," he replied and walked off.

Victoria knew that Jarrod was also hurting inside. She wished that Tom was still here but he was dead. Killed by the railroad three years ago. He knew how to help his sons deal with a loss. But that was her job now.

"Mother," Jarrod said, "I’m going back to the ranch. I need to be alone. I need to deal with my feelings about Matt and his death."

"All right son," she replied. "We’ll be along shortly."

Jarrod mounted his horse and rode toward the ranch and home. He didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. He had lost his best friend. How would he get along without Matt? As he rode toward the ranch, he didn’t see the trouble he was riding into. A man with a rifle had situated himself on a small hill overlooking the road that Jarrod was traveling. He waited and watched as Jarrod rode home. After Jarrod left, Ross and Worth rode off toward home. Victoria knew they were also hurting at the loss of their brother but she couldn’t understand why they were so bitter toward Jarrod.

"Oh no," he said. "I have to get help. But I don’t have enough strength to get to my horse. Nick where are you?"

Victoria, Nick, Gene and Audra climbed into the buggy and headed back to the ranch.

"Mother," Nick asked, "how’s Jarrod?"

"Not good," she answered. "He’s really hurting. He thought the world of Matt."

"I know," Nick said. "Maybe we can help him through this. Mother, something’s happened to Jarrod."

"I’m sure you can," she replied. "What do you mean something’s happened to Jarrod?"

"I have a feeling of dread and it concerns Jarrod," he told her. "I have to find him."

"He was headed home," she said.

"He didn’t make it," he replied.

About a half a mile away they noticed Jarrod’s horse standing near the road and looked around for him. Gene spotted his brother’s body and yelled for his mother to stop.

"Mother!" he said, "over there!"

She stopped the buggy and they all got out and ran over to Jarrod. He had been shot.

"Jarrod," she said, "can you hear me?"

"Yes," he muttered. "It hurts bad."

"You lie still," she said. "Nick, go get a wagon. We need to get him to town."

"Mother," he replied, "we need to get him to the doctor. He’s bleeding very badly. It would be better if we took him in the buggy because I don’t think he’d make it waiting for one of us to bring a wagon. I told you something was wrong."

"All right," she said. "You lay him in the back and I’ll sit with him. It’s a bad wound. I know Nick."

Nick and Gene picked up their brother’s body and Jarrod cried out in pain.

"Oh!" he cried. "Please!"

Victoria climbed into the back of the buggy. They laid Jarrod in with his head on her lap.

"Oh mother!" he cried.

"I know it hurts son," she said and brushed his hair back with her hand. "Just hang in there a little longer and we’ll be at Dr. Merrar’s."

"Why?"he whispered. "Why?"

"I don’t know why you were shot?" she told him. "We’ll worry about that later. You just lie still."

Nick, Gene and Audra climbed up front. They started off for town. Jarrod began to cough and he was coughing up blood. She knew that he was possibly bleeding inside. Victoria held him and tried to make him as comfortable as possible. She knew the wound was bad.

"Jarrod," she said as calmly as she could, "it’s going to be all right. I’m right here son."

"Oh mother," he muttered, "I hurt real bad. I can’t..."

Jarrod just looked up at her and then she felt him go limp. His eyes closed and she had to check to make sure he was still breathing. He was barely.

"Hurry Nick!" she screamed. "Your brother’s dying!"

Nick rode as fast as he could without injuring his brother any more than he had to. About thirty minutes later, they pulled up in front of Dr. Merrar’s. Audra ran inside and brought out the doctor.

"Dr. Merrar," Audra said. "Dr. Merrar."

"Yes Audra," Merrar replied as he came out of the back room.

"Jarrod’s outside in the buggy," she told him. "He’s been shot and is bleeding badly."

"Let’s have a look," he said as they walked out to the buggy.

He took one look at Jarrod and motioned for Nick and Gene to carry him inside.

"Take him inside and lay him on the examination table," the doctor said.

"All right," Nick replied.

They carried Jarrod inside and laid him on the table. Then they left the room. Victoria stayed with her son. The doctor unbuttoned Jarrod’s shirt and laid it open. His chest was bloody and the bullet was still inside because there was no exit wound. He opened the area around the bullet hole up and searched for the bullet. But he didn’t remove it. He cleaned the wound and wrapped it with a bandage. Then he turned to Victoria.

"Jarrod," he said, "has lost an awful lot of blood. The first thing I’m going to do is give him a blood transfusion. Will Nick do that?"

"Yes," she replied. "But doctor you didn’t take the bullet out?"

"I know," he told her. "Let’s get Nick and I’ll explain."

Victoria left Jarrod in the doctor’s care and went to the waiting room for Nick. When she walked out, Nick, Gene and Audra stood up and looked at her.

"How is he?" Nick asked.

"He needs a blood transfusion," she told them. "The doctor wants to know if you will give Jarrod some blood."

"You know I will," Nick told her.

"I’ll let you know just as soon as I know something," she told Gene and Audra.

Nick followed his mother to the examination room. Jarrod was lying on the table. His chest was bandaged. His face was devoid of color. He was so still. Nick walked over and rolled up his sleeve. The doctor started the transfusion. He explained the problem.

"Jarrod was shot in the chest," the doctor said "The bullet is lodged very close to his heart. I can’t remove it without the possibility of killing him. He won’t be able to move without the possibility that the bullet will kill him. Jarrod is far too weak for me to try and remove it now. I’m going to have to wait until he is stronger before I dare try. I don’t know if he will survive. Right now it doesn’t look good."

Victoria just looked at the doctor. She couldn’t believe what he had just said. She refused to believe that her son might die. Who would want to shoot her oldest son? She had no answers. Nick broke the silence.

"Doc," he asked, "are you telling me that Jarrod won’t get better until you take the bullet out?"

"No Nick," he answered. "What I’m saying is that the bullet is so close to his heart if I go in there and try to remove it now the shock would kill him. What I want to do is wait until he is a little stronger and then try to remove it. If he comes to and starts to move around, the bullet could move and kill him. The transfusion you’re giving him will help. But he has to get stronger."

"Doctor," Victoria spoke up, "will you be able to remove the bullet?"

"I should," he answered. "But Jarrod needs to become much stronger. He’s far too weak to attempt it at this time. The operation would kill him."

"What if he doesn’t get any stronger?" Nick asked. "What then?"

"I don’t know," the doctor said. "If he gets worse, I’ll have to go in there and try to retrieve the bullet because he would die anyway. Let’s give him some time and see how it goes."

"All right doctor," Victoria agreed.

The doctor finished with the transfusion and they moved Jarrod to a bed. Victoria sat beside the bed and talked to Jarrod.

"Jarrod," she said, "I don’t know whether or not you can hear me but you have to remain very still. You have a bullet lodged close to your heart. If you move, the bullet could move and kill you."

She looked down at his face. His face was ashen and his lips were white. He had no color at all. He was so still. She picked up his hand in hers and held it.

"Oh Tom," she said softly, "I wish you were here. I need you Tom."

Nick had just walked to the door of the room and heard his mother’s plea. He walked over and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Mother," he said, "don’t worry. Jarrod’s a fighter. He’s going to come out of this. I know he is."

"Yes," she replied. "I hope so son. Your brother is tough. You remember what he went through while he was in law school."

"Yes I do," Nick told her.

"We kept saying that he would not get better," she said. "But he did and he fought back all the way. I know he’ll try to fight this but I don’t know whether he will win this time."

"Mother," Nick asked, "who would want to shoot Jarrod?"

"I don’t have any idea," she told him. "Jarrod asked me the same thing in the buggy."

"They couldn’t have done it," Nick said. "It’s not possible. They couldn’t have carried it to this extreme."

"Who are you talking about?" she asked him.

"The Parker brothers," Nick answered. "Ross and Worth Parker."

"You mean because of what happened with Matt?" she asked.

"Yes," Nick answered. "I watched the exchange between them and Jarrod after the service. They told him he was to blame for their brother’s death. What if they wanted to take Jarrod like he took Matt in their eyes?"

"I don’t know Nick," she said. "Right now let’s see how your brother does."

"Jarrod," Gene said, "you get well. I need you big brother."

"Yes," Audra replied.

"I remember the day Jarrod was born," Victoria told them. "It was a cold December day. Your father had left the house, not the house we live in now, but a smaller one. He had business in town that he had been putting off because of the baby. I was alone because we didn’t have any help in those days. Anyway, about two hours after your father had left, the first pains started. I had a feeling of panic because I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t want the baby to come while I was alone. There was a knock at the door. It was Wally Miles. He had become concerned about me. He said he had ridden over because babies don’t keep a schedule. He tried to take me to the doctor but we never made it. We got as far as his ranch. With Jenny’s help, we delivered a son. Wally sent one of his hands to Stockton to get the doctor and to tell your father. When Tom walked into the Miles’ home, he couldn’t get over how handsome his new son was. The first thing out of his mouth was ‘look at his eyes. They are so blue.’ Your brother was a healthy boy and we took him home. Then a few months later, we both came to the same conclusion. Jarrod did not have the drive to be a rancher like his father. His drive was to become either a lawyer or a doctor."

"Who named him mother?" Gene asked.

"We both did," she answered. "I wanted him to have his father’s name and Tom wanted him to have a name all his own. That’s when he decided on Jarrod."

"When Nick was born," Gene asked, "what did Jarrod do?"

"Your brother was ill," she answered. "We had decided to go to the lodge up in the mountains for a week because we had been doing it every year since Jarrod was born. Your father had had some business losses that year and he needed time to contemplate his next move. Nick wasn’t due for two weeks. The morning after we arrived, Jarrod was running a fever and didn’t feel a bit well. There happened to be a doctor at the lodge and Tom went to see him. He examined Jarrod and told Tom he had pneumonia. Tom forbid me from taking care of him because of the possibility that I could catch it or the baby could catch it. Because of the worry about Jarrod being so sick, I went into labor early. Tom got the owner of the lodge to watch Jarrod so he could be with me. We didn’t name Nick for a week. We were both so worried about Jarrod. Tom was going from me to Jarrod and back again. Pneumonia has a ten-day period before the fever breaks and it was the longest ten days of my life. Anyway, when Jarrod was better, we allowed him to see his new brother for the first time. He walked over to the crib and the first thing Nick did was cry. He was a loud crier. Your brother looked down and said he looked like a Nick. That’s when we came up with the name Nicholas Jonathan. Jarrod stuck his hand down toward Nick and he grabbed it. Jarrod told Nick not to worry. He would always be there for him. He would help him grow and learn. He also told Nick to never let go."

"Wow," Gene said. "Were they close growing up?"

"Oh yes," Victoria replied. "Nick couldn’t say Jarrod so he called him Jay."

"I remember that," Nick told them. "Of course, you two also called him Jay."

"Go ahead mother," Gene said.

"Well," she replied, "at first Jarrod loved having Nick around. Then he began to get jealous of Nick. He even yelled at him a couple of times but your father straightened him out."

"I bet he took him to the woodshed," Audra told them.

"No," Victoria said. "He made Jarrod go to bed early one night after he had been very rude to Nick. In fact he had told Nick that he wished he were no longer around. He wanted things to be like they used to be before Nick was born. Jarrod had to stay in his room the next day after he did his chores and he couldn’t look at his books. He wanted Jarrod to think about what he had said."

"Oh," Audra replied. "I bet he was unhappy."

"He was because that boy really loved his books," Victoria told them. "He had a chance to think about what he had said and done to Nick. He apologized that evening and the two of them played the rest of the time."

"Mother," Audra asked," do you think he’s going to be all right?"

"Yes I do," Victoria answered. "He’s a Barkley and Barkleys don’t give up."

The doctor walked into the room to check his patient. After examining him, he turned to the family.

"He’s still very weak," the doctor said. "The transfusion helped. It’s up to him now. But remember that he still needs to get stronger before I operate. Don’t let him move around if he does come to."

"Thank you doctor," she replied. "We’ll make sure he doesn’t move if he wakes up."

Victoria stood up and walked over to the bed. She sat down right beside of her son.

"Jarrod," she said, "please come back to us. Please."

She laid her head down on the bed and then she felt something touching her. When she looked up, she saw that it was Jarrod’s hand. He was awake.

"Nick," she said, "go tell the doctor that he’s awake."

"Right," Nick replied and left the room.

"How do you feel son?" she asked.

"I hurt bad," he answered. "What happened?"

"You were shot the day of the memorial service for Matt," she said. "You’ve been here at Dr. Merrar’s for the past three days."

The doctor walked in and went to the bed.

"Jarrod," he said, "I want you to listen closely to me. Do not try to move. I haven’t removed the bullet and any movement can kill you."

"All right," Jarrod replied. "Who did it?"

"We don’t know," Nick told him. "We were hoping you would have an idea."

"No," Jarrod said. "I don’t have a clue."

"All right," the doctor replied. "That’s enough. He needs to rest."

Jarrod’s tired eyes eased closed. Victoria looked up at the doctor.

"He’s fighting to survive Victoria," the doctor said. "I still want to wait a while longer before I try to remove the bullet. He’s still very weak."

"All right doctor," she replied. "I’ll try to keep him still."

The doctor left the room. Victoria looked down at her son. Who would want to shoot him? What reason would they have? She knew what had to be done.

"Nick," she said, "I want you and Gene to go to the sheriff. Tell him what happened to Jarrod and your suspicions about who did it."

"Yes mother," Nick replied and left the room.

He walked out of the back and stopped in front of Gene and Audra.

"Come on Gene," he said. "We need to go talk to the sheriff."

"All right," Gene replied and they left the doctor’s office.

On the way over the sheriff’s office, Gene looked at Nick.

"How is Jarrod?" he asked.

"He’s in bad shape," Nick answered. "The bullet is close to his heart and the doctor is afraid to remove it until Jarrod is stronger. He woke up once but he’s in a lot of pain."

"Will he get better?" Gene asked.

"I hope so," Nick answered. "He’s a Barkley and we never give up."

Audra walked back to where Jarrod and her mother were. She walked into the room quietly and sat down beside the bed.

"Audra," Victoria said, "I didn’t hear you come in."

"Nick and Gene have gone to talk to the sheriff," she replied. "I thought I would sit with Jarrod for a while."

"That’s fine," Victoria told her. "He woke up one time but he was in a great deal of pain. The doctor wants to wait a while longer before he takes the bullet out."

"Morning boys," he said. "What brings you to town?"

"Harry," Nick replied, "three days ago after the service for Matt Parker, Jarrod was shot in the chest on the way home. He’s over at Doc Merrar’s. The doctor said the bullet was lodged close to his heart. He wants to wait until Jarrod is stronger before he takes it out."

"Nick," Harry told him, "I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes," Nick said. "I believe that Ross or Worth Parker shot Jarrod. They weren’t very nice to him after Matt’s death. I thought that you could talk to them."

"I certainly will," Harry replied. "I hope Jarrod is all right."

"Thanks," Nick told him as he and Gene left the office.

Harry stood up and headed out the door of the sheriff’s office. He rode out to the Parker farm to talk to Ross and Worth. When he arrived, John came out to meet him.

"Harry," he asked, "what brings you out here?"

"I need to talk to Ross and Worth," Harry answered.

"Certainly," John said and went into the house to get his sons.

Ross and Worth walked out with their father.

"Harry," Ross asked, "what can we do for you?"

"Did you leave right after the service for your brother?" Harry asked.

"Not right after," Worth answered. "But a short time later." Why?"

"Did you head home or toward the Barkley Ranch?" he asked.

"We went home," Ross answered.

"Why all the questions Harry?" John asked. "It sounds like something’s happened and you’re blaming the boys."

"Something did happen," Harry answered. "Jarrod Barkley was shot in the chest on his way home after the service for Matt. Nick seems to think it was Ross and Worth."

"Why?" John asked.

"Because according to Nick," Harry answered, "Ross and Worth had had words with Jarrod on the day prior to the shooting. He also heard Ross and Worth blaming him for their brother’s death right after the service."

"Harry," Ross said, "I admit we were angry at Jarrod for some of the problems Matt had. But we didn’t shoot him. He was Matt’s best friend."

"You could have held a grudge against Jarrod," Harry replied.

"We didn’t," Worth told him. "We thought a lot of Jarrod. Granted, that day after Matt died, we were bitter and angry but not at Jarrod. We were bitter and angry at Matt for taking the easy way out."

"Harry," John said, "if my sons say they didn’t have anything to do with the shooting, they didn’t."

"All right," Harry replied. "I’ll let it go for now. But don’t either one of you leave town."

"They won’t," John told him.

Harry left and headed back to town. Ross and Worth looked at each other.

"Father," Ross said, "we didn’t do it."

"I know you didn’t," John replied and smiled. "You wouldn’t hurt Barkley."

"Why did you call Jarrod Barkley?" Worth asked.

"I don’t know," John said. "It just came out that way."

"Mother," Jarrod said as he woke up, "my chest really hurts. I’m so hot."

Victoria went over to the bed and put a hand to Jarrod’s face. He was hot. He must be running a fever.

"Nick," she replied quietly, "go get the doctor and tell him Jarrod has a fever and is in a great deal of pain."

"All right," Nick told her and left the room.

Victoria turned back to her son. He was closing his eyes to the pain. Then he began to cough again. And he was coughing up blood.

"It’s all right son," she said. "The doctor’s coming."

"Oh please mother make it stop," he replied. "I can’t stand it anymore."

The doctor walked into the room. He went over to Jarrod and examined him. Then he looked at Victoria and the other members of the family.

"I can’t wait," he said. "I have to take that bullet out now. He’s possibly bleeding inside. That would account for the fever and the blood he is coughing up. The pain on the other hand I don’t know until I get in there."

"All right," she replied. "We’ll wait outside. Do every thing you can to save his life."

"I will," the doctor told her.

The family left the room and went out to the waiting room. Nick began to pace the floor. Victoria knew how worried he was about his brother. Jarrod and Nick had always been close.

"Mother," Gene asked, "do you think Jarrod will be all right?"

"I don’t know dear," she answered. "The doctor doesn’t have a choice. He’s got to operate now or Jarrod will die."

"He’ll make it," Audra said. "I just know he will."

"I hope so," Victoria replied. "I hope so. Nick, please sit down. Maybe if you think about something you and Jarrod did together it will help pass the time while we wait."

"Mother," Nick told her, "I can’t think of anything except that my brother is lying in there with a bullet in him from an unknown assailant. I can’t sit down."

"Please son," she said. "You’re not going to be any good to Jarrod until you calm down. Do you want him to see you so angry and upset?"

"No," Nick replied. "I guess you’re right."

Nick sat down in one of the chairs and stared at the floor. He was very worried about his brother. This was a very delicate operation and something could go wrong.

"Nick," Victoria said, "I know you’re worried. So am I. But we have to think positively. The doctor is going to fix him up."

"I hope so mother," Nick replied. "I don’t want my brother to die."

"Die?" Audra asked.

"Yes Audra," Victoria answered. "The bullet is right close to his heart and the slightest movement can kill Jarrod. That’s why the doctor waited as long as he did. He wanted Jarrod to be stronger when he took it out. But instead your brother got worse. Now he doesn’t have a choice."

"He has to be all right," she said. "He just has to be."

"I know he’s in good hands," Victoria replied.

Victoria began to think about her oldest son. She remembered the time when Jarrod was ten and he had saved her life.

Coming back to the present, Victoria waited for word on her son. Doctor Merrar got his wife, Iva to assist him. Then he began the operation of removing the bullet.

"Iva," he said, "you keep that chloroform handy. I don’t want him waking up in the middle of surgery."

"All right Tom," she replied.

The doctor began the task of locating and removing the bullet from Jarrod’s body. He had to repair a lot of damage that the bullet did as it entered the boy’s body. He noticed that a rib had been broken when he was shot and he had to repair it.

"Oh," Jarrod said. "Please it hurts."

"Iva," Tom replied, "put him under again."

She placed more chloroform over his nose and mouth. Jarrod drifted off again.

Back in the waiting room, Nick was also thinking about Jarrod. He had remembered the time that Jarrod had told him he no longer wanted him around.

Nick finally came back to the present. He hoped that Jarrod would be all right and he vowed to find the person responsible for shooting Jarrod and make them pay.

The doctor finally located the bullet. He had to be very careful removing it. With the broken rib and the other damage the bullet had done, Dr. Merrar had been operating for over five hours. He carefully went in with the forceps and removed the bullet. Then he finished up. The doctor and his wife bandaged the wound. He couldn’t bind that rib because of the wound so he needed to keep Jarrod as quiet as possible until it healed. If he didn’t stay quiet, it could puncture a lung. The boy was still running a fever but that would go away, as he became stronger.

"Tom," Iva said, "his breathing is more steady. He’s still running a fever though."

"I know," he replied. "The fever will go down when he begins to heal. He survived the surgery and that was a good sign. Now he has to get better. He’s got a good chance at recovery but his family is in for a long recovery period. Jarrod is not going to be able to do a whole lot for a while."

"I know," she told him. You better go talk to his family."

"Yes," he said and left the room.

He left Iva to finish up the five-hour surgery and went to tell the boy’s family. Victoria, Nick, Gene and Audra rose as he walked out.

"How is he?" Victoria asked.

"He came through the surgery," the doctor answered. "He’s weak and there was a lot of damage but I was able to repair it. A rib was broken but I was able to repair it too. However, he won’t be able to move around because I couldn’t bind it. It could still puncture a lung until it begins to heal. I took the bullet out. He’s going to have to take it easy for a while. It was delicate surgery. He’ll be here at least two weeks before he can even think of going home. He’ll probably be in considerable pain for a while too."

"Will he make it?" Victoria said. "Can I see him?"

"Certainly," the doctor replied. "I would say only one person at a time. He needs to rest and build up his strength. He still has a fever but that will come down as he gets better. He has a good chance for a complete recovery as long as the rib doesn’t puncture a lung."

"Mother," Nick told her, "you go. We’ll wait."

"Thanks Nick," she said and followed the doctor to her son.

Jarrod was lying flat in bed. His chest was bandaged and his breathing was steadier. Victoria sat down beside the bed. She reached over and picked up Jarrod’s hand. He was unconscious.

"He’ll be asleep for several hours," the doctor said. "He needs the rest."

"I know he does," she replied. "Thank you for saving my son’s life."

"He’s still not completely out of the woods," the doctor told her. "But his chances are better than they were."

She smiled at him and then turned back to her son.

"Jarrod," she said, "take it easy son. You’ve been in surgery to remove the bullet and you don’t need to be moving around."

"My chest hurts," he replied.

"You have a broken rib and the bullet was removed," she told him. "The doctor can give you something for the pain if you need it."

"I’ll be all right," he said. "Although it hurts to take a deep breath."

"You rest," she replied and smiled at him. "The bullet broke one of your ribs. That’s where the pain is coming from. Can I get you anything?"

"Some water," he told her.

She reached over to the table beside his bed and picked up the glass of water. She eased his head up and put the glass to his mouth. He drank a few drops and then she eased his head back on the pillows.

"Thank you," he said.

"Son," she replied, "why don’t you rest. I know you’re weak and the rest will do you good."

"All right," he told her and his eyes closed.

She covered him up and sat down in the chair beside the bed. The doctor came in to check on his patient. After examining Jarrod, he turned to Victoria.

"I believe he’s going to be all right," the doctor said. "Although it will take time."

"Doctor," she replied, "Jarrod woke up. He’s still in pain and he said it hurt for him to take a deep breath."

"That’s normal," the doctor told her. "That broken rib is the reason he can’t take a good deep breath. But it should heal. As far as the pain is concerned, I can give him something for that."

"I told him that," she said. "But he said he didn’t need anything right now."

"All right," the doctor replied. "I’ll check back."

He left the room and walked out where the rest of the Barkleys were. Nick, Gene and Audra rose as he walked toward them.

"How’s Jarrod?" Nick asked.

"He’s resting," the doctor answered. "I thought you would like to see him."

"Yes we would," Audra said.

"Follow me," the doctor replied and took them to Jarrod’s room.

As the three walked in, they could see their brother asleep on the bed. He was still pale but he was alive. Victoria looked up as they walked in.

"He’s going to be fine," she said. "He woke up a few minutes ago. He’s in a lot of pain and he still has a fever but the doctor feels like he will heal."

"That’s great mother," Audra replied and smiled.

"Mother," Gene asked, "why would Ross and Worth want to hurt Jarrod? Granted, Matt was their brother. But Jarrod didn’t do anything to Matt."

"It’s a long story son," she answered. "All I want to concern myself with right now is the fact that Jarrod is going to get better."

Nick sat down beside the bed.

"He will get better and then we’ll take care of whoever shot him," Nick stated. "I promise big brother."

"John," she asked, "what’s wrong? You’ve been pacing for hours."

"It’s nothing," he answered.

"Nothing doesn’t make you pace the floor," she said. "Now what’s wrong?"

"I need to take care of something," he replied.

"What?" she asked.

"I can’t tell you," he answered. "It’s just something I have to do."

"This late?" she told him. "Please be careful."

"I will," he said.

John left the house and walked out to the barn. He saddled up his horse. It was after dark but he had to finish what he had started. He rode into Stockton. He dismounted and walked into Dr. Merrar’s office. Iva Merrar met him as he came in.

"John," she asked, "what can I do for you?"

"I need to see Jarrod Barkley," he answered.

"He’s with his family," she said.

"Tell them that I need to see him alone," he replied.

She walked into the back and went to Jarrod’s room.

"Mrs. Barkley," she said, "John Parker is in the waiting room and wants to see Jarrod alone. He’s adamant about it."

"All right," Victoria replied. "Tell him to come in. We’ll step outside."

Iva Merrar walked back out to the outer office.

"John," she said, "if you will follow me."

He followed her to Jarrod’s room. Victoria, Nick, Gene and Audra were going to step out in the hall and wait.

"John," Victoria asked, "how are you and Mary doing?"

"We’re fine," he answered. "I need to see Jarrod."

"All right," she said as the four of them left the room.

Out in the hall, Nick looked at his mother.

"Why does he have to see Jarrod right now?" Nick asked.

"I don’t know," his mother answered. "It must be important. It’s probably something to do with Matt."

"I wonder," Nick said.

"What are you getting at?" she asked him.

"I just wonder what is so all fired important that he had to bother Jarrod while he’s recovering," Nick answered. "It seems very odd to me. You know it’s only been two days since he was operated on."

In Jarrod’s room, John walked over to the bed. He looked down at the Barkley boy. He looked down at the boy who had helped to kill his son.

"Boy," he said, "I thought I finished you the first time. Now, I’ll have to finish the job."

Jarrod’s eyes opened and he looked up into the eyes of a madman. John Parker was an angry man just like Matt had been. It was like looking into a mirror. It was the same face that had stared at him just a week ago before Matt had died. Jarrod knew right then who had shot him.

"Mr. Parker," he said, "I didn’t mean to cause Matt any pain. I had no idea he would fall in love with Julia and be so devastated when she left. I’m sorry."

"You’re sorry," John replied. "You haven’t begun to pay boy. You’re going to join him as soon as I can make up my mind as to how I want to do it."

"No," Jarrod told him. "Please don’t. You can’t be serious."

"I’m dead serious," John said and came closer to the bed. "Get up boy. Your payback time is here."

"No," Jarrod replied. "I can’t. The doctor removed the bullet only a couple of days ago. I’m not supposed to get up and move around."

"Do you think I care?" John asked. "I don’t. Now get up."

Jarrod did as he was told. As he tried to stand up, his chest began to throb because of the broken rib. He stood there in the room and looked at the man who he thought cared about him. John walked over to him and pulled him right up to his face.

"You’re going to die boy," he said. "And there’s nothing you can do about it."

"I didn’t hurt Matt on purpose," Jarrod replied.

"Say your prayers boy," John told him and measured him.

John pulled his arm back and punched Jarrod right in the face. Jarrod reeled backward and hit his head on the bedside table as he landed hard on the floor. He was slightly woozy as he began to climb to his feet. His chest had begun to throb more. Parker grabbed him again. He hit him again in the face. Jarrod’s nose began to bleed. John punched him again and again in the face. Jarrod’s face was throbbing now. He tried to protect his ribs because of the broken one and the bullet wound. John kept hitting him in the face. It was like he was having a good time punching Jarrod over and over again.

"Nick," Jarrod said. "Help."

"No one can help you boy," John replied.

About that time the door burst open and Nick came in. John let go of Jarrod and turned toward Nick. Jarrod dropped to his knees on the floor. Nick ran headfirst into John and knocked him backwards.

"No one hurts my brother," he said as he picked John up and began to punch him.

Victoria ran in and tried to pull Nick off of John.

"Nick," she said, "stop it right now."

"Mother," Nick replied, "he shot Jarrod."

"You can’t be serious," she told him.

"Look at Jarrod," he said.

Victoria looked over at her son whose face was bloody. He was having a hard time drawing a good breath. He was holding his chest. She went to him and helped him up. She helped him walk to the bed and helped him lay down. He was in pain from his face and the sudden movement.

"Mother," Jarrod said through clinched teeth, "I hurt bad. Please make the pain go away."

"Audra," she said, "go get the doctor."

"Yes mother," Audra replied and headed out the door.

"Gene," she told him, "go get the sheriff."

"Right away mother," he said and left.

Nick kept a firm grip on John Parker. The doctor walked in a few minutes later. He took one look at Jarrod and gasped.

"What on earth happened in here?" he asked.

"John Parker did this," Nick answered.

"Iva," Merrar called to his wife, "will you come in here?"

"Mother," Jarrod cried out in pain, "please make the pain stop. I’m having trouble drawing a good breath."

"It’s all right," she said. "The doctor’s right here."

"Son," the doctor replied, "I need to check that rib. Now I know it’s going to hurt. Can you stand the pain?"

"I’ll try," Jarrod told him and grimaced again.

The doctor checked the rib and the wound. The rib had been broken again and the wound was bleeding. Jarrod was still in a great deal of pain.

"Mother," Jarrod said, "please stop it from hurting."

"Just relax," she replied. "He’s almost finished."

The doctor set the rib and cleaned the wound. While they were working on him, Jarrod went to gasping for air. The doctor had to open up the wound and go in. He found out that the broken rib had punctured his lung. It wasn’t a bad puncture. At least the lung hadn’t collapsed. He was able to repair the damage. Then Iva bandaged the boy’s chest again. Then they went to work on Jarrod’s face. He had a bad cut over his right eye that needed several stitches. The rest were just bruises and abrasions. Finally, the doctor looked up at Victoria.

"He’s going to be all right," the doctor said. "I’m going to give him something for pain, infection because the wound has opened again and something to help him rest. His lung was punctured but I was able to repair it before it collapsed."

Iva handed him a syringe and he injected Jarrod with the medicine. A few minutes later, the boy’s eyes closed and he slept. The doctor propped him up on additional pillows to help him breath.

"He’ll have to stay here another week until that rib heals," the doctor told her. "And no moving around. I still can’t bind that rib, so I want him to stay quiet."

"I understand," she said. "John, how could you? That’s my son."

"I’m sorry Victoria," John replied. "I just got angry and bitter just like Matt was. My son is dead and I blamed your son for it. But he wasn’t to blame. He cared a lot for Matt. I’m very sorry."

"I’ll bet you are," Nick told him.

"Nick," his mother said, "let him finish.

"When Matt came home from Washington so angry and bitter it hurt me so bad," John replied. "I watched him try to drink himself to death. When I heard him talking to Ross and Worth about the cause of his problems, I blamed Jarrod. But I was wrong. Matt just couldn’t deal with all the adversity that he had had. The day of the funeral I lost it. When I saw Jarrod leave, I followed him. Then when I realized I could take care of him, I rode to a small knoll above the road and waited. When he came into sight, I fired and missed. Then I fired again and he fell off his horse backwards. I rode home and tried to forget about it. Then today, it came back again. The feeling of loss. I left home, rode here and was going to kill Jarrod until Nick stopped me. Will you and Jarrod do me one favor?"

"What is it John?" she asked.

"Will you keep a close eye on Mary and the boys?" John asked. "They’re going to need someone. I know neither one of you can forgive me but I am sorry."

"We sure will," she answered. "I’m sorry too John."

Harry, who had arrived during John’s story with Gene, escorted John out of the room and to the sheriff’s office. Victoria looked down at her bruised son. She sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"You rest son," she said.

Nick had begun to pace the floor. He was still angry with John Parker.

"Mother," he asked, "how could you forgive him? He shot Jarrod and almost killed him."

"I forgave him because he wasn’t the same man your father and I had known for years,"

she answered. "He was bitter because of what had happened to Matt. He’ll go to prison and he’s right. Mary and the boys will be devastated when they find out. I know your brother will help them when he heals."

"All right," Nick said. "I guess you’re right."

"Nick," she replied, "why don’t you ride out to the ranch and check on how things are going. Your brother is going to sleep for awhile."

"I need to," Nick told her. "If you’re sure you’ll be all right."

"I will," she said.

Nick left the office and rode back to the ranch to check with McColl.

"How’s Jarrod?" he asked.

"Doing better," Nick answered.

"How’s everything going here?" Nick asked.

"Everything’s fine," McColl answered.

"Good," Nick said. "Let’s see what you’ve been doing."

"All right," McColl replied.

He told Nick what the men had been doing and how much they had accomplished over the last couple of weeks since Jarrod’s injury. Nick listened carefully and was satisfied with the way the ranch was being taken care of in his absence.

"McColl," Nick said, "you’re handling everything well. I know that the ranch is in good hands."

"I appreciate that boss," McColl replied. "When you see Jarrod, you tell him that we’re all thinking about him and hoping that he will be up and around real soon."

"I will," Nick told him and smiled.

Back at the doctor’s, Victoria was still sitting with Jarrod. She was thinking about John Parker. She knew why he had done it but it still hurt to see her son hurting. Jarrod’s face was bruised all over. His right eye had begun to swell because of the cut. She knew when he woke up he’d been in a great deal of pain. Gene walked into the room and looked down at his older brother.

"Mother," he asked, "how is he?"

"He’s asleep," she answered. "He’s had a rough day. The doctor gave him medicine for the pain and to help him rest."

"Why did Mr. Parker hurt Jarrod?" Gene asked.

"It’s a long story son," she answered.

"We have time," Gene said, "unless it’s too personal."

"No," she replied. "All right. You remember that Matt and Jarrod went to Washington together. While they were there, Jarrod met a girl. According to him, she was beautiful. Matt and Jarrod both fell in love with her after Jarrod introduced her to Matt. Jarrod found out later what she was."

"What was she?" he asked.

"She was a Confederate spy," she answered. "Anyway, she played both of them for fools. Jarrod was able to get over her but Matt didn’t. When Matt came home, he was bitter and angry. Jarrod tried to help him but to no avail. And then Matt died. Jarrod was devastated. He blamed himself."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because," she answered, "he introduced Matt to her. And he felt responsible for the pain that Matt was going through. Anyway, John had watched his son deteriorate in front of him and began to blame Jarrod. So when Jarrod left right after the service, he followed him and shot him."

"Oh mother," Gene said. "I’m so sorry. Jarrod has had so much on his mind. Now this. I’ll do everything I can to help him out."

"I know you will," she replied. "But you need to concentrate on college. You need to go on with your own life."

"I can do that any time," he told her. "My brother is very important to me."

"All right Gene," she said and smiled. "He’ll appreciate that."

After finishing up at the ranch, Nick’s thoughts returned to Jarrod lying in the doctor’s office in town. He decided to pay a visit to the Parkers. He rode over there and knocked on the door. Mary opened the door.

"Nick," she said, "what a pleasant surprise. Won’t you come in?"

"Yes ma’am," he replied. "Mrs. Parker, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Last night your husband paid a visit to Jarrod at the doctor’s office," Nick answered. "He beat Jarrod up pretty bad. In fact, he was the one who shot him."

Mary’s face showed shock and disbelief. She sat down.

"Are you telling me that my husband shot your brother?" she asked.

"Yes," Nick answered. "He told us that he lost it right after Matt died and that when he saw Jarrod still living he became jealous. He wanted Jarrod dead. He blamed Jarrod for Matt’s problems. So when Jarrod left right after the service, your husband followed him, waited for him. And then he shot him."

"Oh Nick," she said. "I’m so sorry. I had no idea that John was that angry. He didn’t take Matt’s death too well."

"He’s in jail," Nick replied. "He asked us to make sure you, Ross and Worth were all right. Jarrod is not able right now but I am."

"Thank you Nick for coming by," she told him. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to tell Ross and Worth."

"All right," Nick said. "I need to get back to Jarrod anyway."

After Nick left, Mary walked out to the barn where her two sons were working. When they saw her face, they came running.

"Mom," Ross asked, "what’s wrong?"

"I now know who shot Jarrod Barkley," she answered.

"Who?" Worth asked.

"Your father," she answered.

"Dad?" Ross asked.

"Yes," she answered. "He was so angry after Matt died that he blamed Jarrod for it. He shot him as he rode home from the funeral."

"I wondered about him," Ross said. "Some of the comments he made the day the sheriff came to see us. I thought maybe he had something to do with it."

"Your father was having a hard time adjusting to the different Matt that came home," she replied. "Ross, why didn’t you mention this to me earlier? Maybe I could have stopped him from hurting Jarrod more."

"We did too," Worth told her.

"It wouldn’t have done any good," Ross stated. "And besides I wasn’t sure that Dad had had anything to do with it."

"I know," she said.

"Jarrod wasn’t to blame," Ross replied. "No one was except Matt."

"I think Jarrod would like to know that," she told them.

"Yeah," Worth said. "We were rude to him. We’ll go see him while we’re in town seeing Dad."

"All right," she replied. "We’ll go this afternoon."

"Right," Ross told her.

In Jarrod’s room, Victoria was still sitting beside the bed. Jarrod was still sleeping. He really needed the rest. Nick had returned from the ranch and had told her that he had told Mrs. Parker.

"Nick," she said, "I’m glad you did. Now they can begin to heal too. They have had a very rough time since Matt’s death."

"I know mother," he replied. "You should have seen her face. She was shocked. I hope Ross and Worth are all right."

"I’m sure they will be," she told him and smiled.

"Son," she asked, "how do you feel?"

"Terrible," he answered. "My chest and face hurt."

"I don’t doubt it," she said. "You are bruised and battered. The broken rib had to be set again and it punctured a lung but the doctor was able to repair the damage."

"What happened?" he asked.

"Don’t you remember?" she wanted to know.

"Not good," he answered. "I remember something about being hit. I guess I was pretty out of it."

"John Parker attacked you," she said.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"He blamed you for Matt’s death," she answered.

"He was right," he said.

"No he wasn’t," she replied. "You tried to be Matt’s friend. That’s all. The rest was Matt’s doing."

"But mother," he told her.

"Jarrod," she said, "you are not to blame. John asked for forgiveness and I gave it to him."

"Yeah," he replied. "He probably didn’t really know what he was doing."

"Yes," she told him. "He didn’t."

"Mother," Jarrod said and grimaced in pain again, "the pain is getting worse. Please do something. I can’t stand it."

"All right son," she replied. "Just stay calm. Gene, go get the doctor."

"Yes mother," he told her and left the room.

Jarrod was gripping the sheet tightly. He couldn’t relax. Victoria tried to calm him down.

"Jarrod," she said, "I know you are hurting but you can’t get upset. You’ll only hurt worse."

"I can’t help it," he replied. "I hurt."

The doctor walked in and saw Jarrod’s face. He walked over to the bed and looked down at his patient.

"I thought you’d be in a lot of pain when you woke up," he said. "I had to set that broken rib again. And your face is pretty bruised and battered. One of your lungs was punctured but it should be all right."

"Help me doc," he begged. "It hurts so bad."

"Listen to me Jarrod," he replied. "I need to know exactly where it hurts."

"My chest where the bullet was," Jarrod told him. My face, around my right eye and nose."

"All right," the doctor said and went over to the bedside table.

He poured a spoonful of laudanum and gave it to him. Jarrod swallowed the medicine and the pain began to ease.

"Feel better?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "I’m sorry to be such a problem."

"You’re no trouble," the doctor said. "I would probably being doing the same thing if I had been in your boots."

"Mother," he asked, "when can I go home?"

"Not for a while I’m afraid," the doctor answered for her. "You have to let that rib heal before you get up and start moving around. I can’t bind it with the gunshot wound so close. So you have to be quiet and take it easy till it heals."

"All right," he said. "How long?"

"At least a week," the doctor replied. "You’ve been through a lot and you need to build your strength up."

"All right," he told him. "Mother can I have some water?"

"Certainly," she answered, reached over and picked up the glass from the table.

She eased his head up and held the glass to his mouth. He took a few sips and then she eased his head back onto the pillows. He couldn’t even hold up his head without help.

"I want you to rest son," she said. "You’re very weak and you need plenty of rest."

"Yes mother," he replied and closed his eyes.

"Victoria," the doctor told her, "you have a way with that boy. He didn’t want to mind me."

"He knows what will happen if he doesn’t," she said. "He’ll be in big trouble."

"He should sleep for a while with that laudanum," the doctor replied. "If he needs any more, I’ll leave the bottle on the bedside table. Give him one tablespoon every four hours for the pain."

"I understand," she told him. "Thank you."

Ross and Worth Parker along with their mother, Mary, came to town that afternoon to see John. When they walked back to his cell, John wouldn’t look at them.

"Before you say anything," he said, "I want to tell you that I’m sorry for what I did to that boy. He was like my own son. And I tried to beat him to death. I didn’t realize that Matt’s problems had gotten to me that much."

"John," Mary replied, "you have to realize that Matt’s gone. And you nearly sent Jarrod to meet him."

"I know," he told her. "I’m sorry Mary. I know why I did it but I still can’t believe I actually shot Jarrod."

"Dad," Ross said, "we know why you did it. But why didn’t you tell Harry when he was out at the house questioning us?"

"I don’t know Ross," he replied. "I had watched my son self-destruct and I guess in a way I self-destructed too."

"It will be all right," Mary told him. "We’ll get you a good lawyer."

"No lawyer," he said. "I want to plead guilty and serve my sentence. I don’t want any breaks. I’m guilty."

"Whatever you say John," Mary said and smiled.

They left the jail and walked over to Dr. Merrar’s. Audra and Gene were sitting in the waiting room. They looked up as the Parker family walked in.

"Gene," Mary asked, "Audra, how is Jarrod?"
"He’s improving Mrs. Parker," Gene answered. "You can go on back and see him, mother and Nick."

"Thank you," she said and they walked back to Jarrod’s room.

When they walked in, Victoria stood up and walked over to Mary. She hugged her.

"Mary," she asked, "how are you doing?"

"As well as can be expected," Mary answered. "I just came from seeing John. I’m so sorry Victoria. Jarrod is a special young man. He was a wonderful friend to Matt. I’m sorry that John tried to kill him."

"I know," she said and smiled. "Jarrod is healing. He’s asleep right now. He’s still in quite a bit of pain but he’ll be out of here soon."

"Mrs. Barkley," Ross said, "we would like to apologize to Jarrod for the way we acted the day after Matt died as well as the day of the service. We were hurting so much that we took it out on anyone who happened to be around us."

"I understand Ross," she replied. "Jarrod knows that you were upset. He’s had a hard time adjusting to the loss too."

"We know he has," Worth told her. "He and Matt were very close. In fact, Matt’s the one who talked him into joining the army."

"I know," she said.

"Well," Mary replied, "we’ll go and let you rest. Tell Jarrod we stopped by and when he gets to feeling better, he can stop by and see us."

"He’ll like that," she told her. "Thanks for coming by."

The Parker family left. The healing process was beginning.

"Son," the doctor said, "you’re improving every day. You’ll be able to go home soon."

"That’s great," Jarrod replied. "I can’t wait. My work is piling up."

"Listen to me closely," the doctor told him. "You’re going to have to take it easy after you go home. That bullet did a lot of damage and you need to heal completely before you start doing too much."

"Yes sir," Jarrod said. "I know. And you don’t have to worry. Mother will keep me in line."

"That I will," she replied and smiled at him.

"Are you in any pain," he asked.

"No not right now," Jarrod answered. "For the first time since this ordeal started I don’t hurt."

"That’s wonderful," the doctor said. "That doesn’t mean that you can get up and run around. You’re still going to have to take it easy. You have a lot of healing to do. You had a lot of damage from the gunshot and the beating."

"I understand," Jarrod replied. "I won’t do anything that will cause pain."

"Good," the doctor told him. "If you are doing this well tomorrow, maybe you can sit up in a chair."

"That’s great," Jarrod said and smiled.

"Thank you doctor," Victoria replied. "You’ve given me my son back."

"You’re welcome," he told her and left the room.

"Mother," Jarrod asked, "would you give me some water please?"

"Certainly," she answered.

She reached over and picked up the glass from the table and handed it to Jarrod. He was able to take a few sips and then handed the glass back. He was also fighting to stay awake. Victoria knew she had to put her foot down.

"Son," she said, "I know you’re tired. I want you to slide down in the bed and take a nap."

"But mother," he replied.

"Jarrod Barkley," she told him.

"Yes mother," he said and tried to slide down.

Victoria helped him slide down and covered him up. His eyes closed and he slept.

"Sleep is what you need son," she said. "You rest."

"Mother," Nick asked as he stuck his head in the door, "can I come in?"

"Certainly," she answered. "I thought you had ridden back to the ranch."

"I did," he said. "But I just couldn’t stay away from Jarrod. How’s he feeling?"

"He’s doing much better," she replied. "He’s not hurting now. I made him lay down and take a nap because he was dozing off."

"Do you want some company?" he asked.

"That would be nice," she answered.

Nick walked in and sat down beside his mother. She smiled at him.

"How’s everything at the ranch?" she asked.

"McColl has everything under control," he answered. "I don’t have to worry about a thing."

"Good," she said. "Nick, I was wondering when your brother gets better if you would like to go up to the lodge for a week."

"That’s sounds like a great idea," Nick replied. "I know it would do Jarrod some good. He could continue to heal."

"That’s what I was thinking," she told him. "He’s got to go to San Francisco soon. But he’ll have to completely recover first."

"Yeah," Nick said. "That brother of mine can be hardheaded sometimes."

"You aren’t kidding," she replied. "I had to put my foot down to get him to take a nap."

"He’s like that sometimes," Nick told her. "He’s levelheaded most of the time but some of the time he can be very hardheaded."

"How are you doing," she asked.

"I’m ok," he answered. "I’ve been very worried about Jarrod."

"I know you have," she said. "We all have. He nearly died."

"Thanks to John Parker," Nick replied in anger.

"Nick," Victoria told him, "what John did was bad but the reason behind it I can understand. He cared very much for his son and it was tearing him apart that he couldn’t help Matt. He blamed Jarrod for causing Matt’s problems but it wasn’t Jarrod or Matt’s fault. It was circumstances beyond their control that helped to contribute to Matt’s death. Jarrod couldn’t stop him. He was beyond help by the time he returned here. Do you understand what I’m saying?"

"Yes," Nick said. "But I still don’t like the fact that he tried to kill Jarrod on two different occasions."

"I know you don’t," she replied. "But we have to go on."

They continued to sit with Jarrod while he slept.

A week later, he was allowed to go home. The doctor gave him instructions on what needed to be done once he was home.

"Jarrod," the doctor said, "I want you to take it slow and easy, nothing strenuous. You can walk outside but you must be extremely careful. If you have any pain, I’m giving you a bottle of laudanum. Take a spoonful every four hours as needed. I want to see you here in one week."

"Yes sir," Jarrod replied.

"Don’t worry doctor," Victoria told him. "He’ll mind or else."

"That’s fine," the doctor said.

Victoria walked out of the room first with Nick and Gene helping Jarrod. He was still very weak and he was glad his brothers were helping him. They got Jarrod settled in the buggy beside his mother and the family headed home. Jarrod dosed while they rode and Victoria kept a close eye on him. When they arrived at the ranch, Nick and Gene helped Jarrod into the house and up to his room.

"Jarrod," Victoria said, "I want you to get into bed son. You’ve had a big morning and you need to rest."

"Yes mother," Jarrod replied and climbed into bed.

"When you have rested a while then maybe you can get up and move around," she told him.

He nodded and closed his eyes. He was asleep. She smiled at him and left the room.

"Did you get Jarrod settled?" Gene asked when Victoria walked downstairs.

"Yes," she answered. "He’s asleep. He’s still weak."

"I know," Gene said. "And he’s very lucky."

"Where’s Nick?" she asked.

"He’s out with the men working," Gene answered. "He told me that he had sat around long enough. He needed to be doing something."

"Fine," she said. "What are you doing son?"

"I’m just thinking," he replied. "Mother I’m going to wait to go to Berkley until Jarrod is better."

"You don’t have to do that," she told him.

"I know," he said. "I want to. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything."

"All right," she replied.

Jarrod had woke up in pain coming from his chest. He tried to get up and fell to his knees. He couldn’t call out. He got unsteadily to his feet and staggered out in the hall. The pain was getting worse as he moved toward the bathroom.

"Mother," he said, "help me."

He finally fell to his knees again and stayed there. He was breathing very heavy.

"Mother!" he called.

Victoria came running. She saw him on his knees in the hallway. She went to him and knelt down beside of him.

"What’s wrong?" she asked.

"My chest hurts," he answered. "I woke up with it hurting."

"Let’s get you back to bed," she said and tried to help him up.

Jarrod was hurting so badly that he couldn’t get his legs under him.

"Gene!" Victoria called. "Gene!"

Gene hurried up the stairs and saw his mother and brother in the hall.

"Mother," he asked, "what is it?"

"Your brother is in pain and he doesn’t have the energy to make it back to his bed," she answered. "Can you help us?"

"Yes," he said and helped Jarrod to his feet.

Slowly the three of them made it back to Jarrod’s room. Victoria got him back into bed. Then she turned her attention to his pain.

"Where do you hurt son?" she asked.

"My chest," he answered

"Here’s some laudanum," she said and gave him a spoonful of medicine.

He swallowed the medicine. A few minutes later he looked up at his mother.

"Mother," he muttered, "I think I’m going to be sick. I’m also hot."

"It’s all right son," she said.

Jarrod began to vomit. Victoria held him while he vomited.

"Gene," she said, "go into town and bring Dr. Merrar out here."

"Yes mother," he replied and left.

"It’s all right Jarrod," she told him. "You’re going to be all right."

He was still vomiting. He was having a hard time holding his eyes open.

"Mother," he whispered, "I don’t feel very well."

"It’s all right son," she said. "Mother’s right here."

"Gene," he asked, "what’s happened?"

"Jarrod’s very sick," he answered. "He’s vomiting."

"I’m going with you," Nick said and walked in with Gene and the doctor.

The three of them went upstairs to Jarrod’s room. He was still vomiting. The doctor examined him and then prepared an injection. He gave the boy the medicine and he finally stopped.

"Jarrod has had a reaction to the pain medication," the doctor said. "He’s also running a slight fever. I’ve given him some medicine and I think he’ll be able to rest. I want him to stay in bed today."

"All right doctor," she replied. "Will he be all right?"

"Yes," he told her. "But he needs to rest. In fact, I put some medicine in the syringe to help him sleep along with something for infection, which will bring down his fever. I don’t want him to be left alone right now. The pain is coming from the broken rib."

"We’ll keep him quiet," she said. "Thank you doctor."

"I’ll come by tomorrow," he replied and left.

Victoria looked down at her oldest son. He was asleep and resting comfortably. She was relieved.

"Mother," Nick asked, "what happened?"

"After I put Jarrod to bed when we got home," she answered, "I walked downstairs and was talking to Gene. Evidently, he woke up in pain and got up. He staggered out into the hall and collapsed. I heard him calling me and with Gene’s help we got him back in the bed."

"He sure is having a rough time," Nick said. "He can’t get to feeling better."

"Well," she replied, "he did get to come home. He’s improving a little every day."

"I know," Nick told her. "It’s just hard to watch him in so much pain."

"Did you get finished?" she asked. "I know it is."

"No," he answered. "I’ll go out again tomorrow if Jarrod is better."

"Nick," she said, "you don’t have to give up your life for your brother."

"I know that," he replied. "I want to be here if he’s not feeling good."

"All right," she told him. "He’ll appreciate that."

"Mother," he said as he tried to sit up in bed.

Victoria rose from her chair and put restraining hands on his shoulders. She pushed him back onto the pillows.

"The doctor wants you to rest Jarrod," she said. "You were pretty sick this afternoon."

"I remember," he replied. "I’m a little woozy."

"It’s probably the medicine the doctor gave you," she told him. "Can I get you anything?"

"Yes," he said. "I would like something to eat."

"Oh son," she replied, "that’s the best news that I’ve heard. Nick, will you stay with your brother while I go talk to Silas?"

"Sure," Nick told her and she left the room.

"Why do you have to stay?" Jarrod asked.

"The doctor requested that you not be left alone," Nick answered. "You were pretty sick earlier."

"I remember," Jarrod said and smiled. "How’s the ranch?"

"Fine," Nick replied. "McColl’s done a wonderful job in my absence."

"Nick," Jarrod asked, "will you do something for me?"

"What?" Nick wanted to know.

"Will you go down to the study and laying on the desk you will find some papers?" he asked. "I need them."

"All right," Nick answered. "But if mother finds out, you’re going to be in trouble."

"Maybe not," he said. "I’m so far behind on my work."

"I’ll go when she gets back," Nick replied.

"Thanks," he told him.

Victoria returned with some broth. She and Nick propped Jarrod up where he could eat. He ate all of it. She smiled at him.’

"That will help you get better," she said. "We need to get food in you because you’re getting so thin."

"I’m sorry," he replied. "I haven’t felt like eating."

"I know son," she told him. "But you’re improving and pretty soon you’re going to be leaving for San Francisco."

"Adam Howard," he said. "Yeah. I had almost forgot that I promised to work for him for approximately six months."

"I know you wish that Col. Hodges was still here," she replied.

"Yeah," Jarrod told her. "He was going to help me set up my office in San Francisco. I wonder how Rachel is. She was really a wonderful girl."

"I don’t know Jarrod," she said. "Didn’t she move away?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I think if she had stayed and we didn’t have all that trouble with the railroad that we might have married. I think she was in love with me. I know I loved her. In fact, I still do."

"She was a very nice girl," she told him. "What her parents did was harsh but they felt it was the only way to ensure her safety."

"I know," he said.

Nick, who had slipped out of the room while Jarrod was eating, walked back inside carrying the papers Jarrod had asked him to get. Victoria saw the look between her boys and knew what Jarrod was planning to do.

"Jarrod," she said, "you’ve been a very sick boy. I don’t think you should be working right now."

"Please mother," he begged. "I’m so far behind."

"All right," she relented. "But no longer than an hour."

"Yes ma’am," he replied and smiled.

Victoria sat down in the chair beside the bed. She kept an eye on her son as he worked. He was more relaxed and didn’t have any pain right now. She smiled to herself. After working on the papers for over an hour, Jarrod’s head began to drop. His eyes were going shut. Victoria stood up and walked over to his bed.

"Son," she said, "I want to rest now. You’re still very weak."

"All right," he replied. "I am pretty tired."

"I’ll lay your papers on the table by your bed," she told him.

Victoria helped Jarrod slide down further in the bed. He laid his head back on the pillows and his eyes closed. He fell asleep. She covered him up and sat back down in the chair.

"How’s Jarrod doing mother?" he asked.

"He’s resting," she answered. "He’s been asleep for a good four hours after he stopped working on those papers you brought to him."

"That’s wonderful," he said. "I’m so glad Jarrod is improving. I miss him when I’m out working knowing that he is in the bed hurt."

"I know son," she replied. "He’s a very lucky boy."

"Yes, he is," he told her and smiled.

About that time, Jarrod began to wake up. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. When he saw his mother and brother, he smiled.

"Hello son," she asked, "how do you feel?"

"I’m a little bit sore and tired but otherwise all right," he answered. "Nick, what are you doing here?"

"After I finished up with my work," he said, "I thought I would come by and see how you were doing."

"What time is it?" Jarrod asked.

"It’s after six in the evening," Victoria answered.

"It can’t be that late," Jarrod said.

"I’m afraid it is," she replied. "Is there a problem?"

"No," he told her. "I guess I was more tired than I thought."

"You were falling asleep while you were working earlier," she said. "I want you to take it easy and rest."

"Yes mother," he replied. "I remember what the doctor said. I have to stay in bed today."

"That’s right," she told him. "And I intend to make sure you do."

As Jarrod lay there he started feeling a pain in his chest again. He grunted and gritted his teeth as the pain gradually got worse.

"Jarrod," Victoria asked, "are you hurting again?"

He continued to grimace in pain. His breathing became more rapid as he was fighting for a breath.

"Jarrod," Victoria asked, "are you in pain?"

He began to gasp for air. He was fighting trying to breathe. He was on the verge of passing out.

"Jarrod," she said, "talk to me."

He fought to get a word out but his breathing was very labored. He finally closed his eyes and his head fell back on the pillow. Victoria jumped up and checked her son. He was barely breathing.

"Nick," she said, "ride to town and bring the doctor. Hurry."

"Right away," he replied and flew out of the room.

"It’s all right Jarrod," she told him. "I’m right here."

He was still unconscious and fighting to breathe. She waited anxiously for the doctor to come. Gene and Audra walked into the room.

"Mother," Gene said, "we saw Nick run out of the house. Is anything wrong?"

"Your brother is not breathing very well," she replied. "He passed out a few minutes ago and his breath is so shallow."

"Oh mother," Audra told her and began to cry. "I can’t loose Jarrod. He’s been like a father to me since father died."

"He’s not going to die if I can help it," Victoria said. "Gene help me get him flat on the bed."

Victoria and Gene took all the pillows out from under Jarrod and laid him flat down. Then Victoria elevated his legs and his breathing eased a little.

"That should help until the doctor arrives," she said.

"When did you learn that mother?" Gene asked.

"When Jarrod first came home from the war," she answered, "he had a spell similar to this one. The doctor elevated his legs to help him breath. I just happened to remember it."

They continued to wait for the doctor and they prayed he would make it in time.

"Victoria," he said as he looked up, "he’s in very bad shape. His breathing is very shallow. I’m going to have to open him up and see what the problem is. Clear everyone out of the room. I want you to stay and assist me."

"Yes doctor," she replied. "All right you heard the doctor. Wait out in the hall and we’ll let you know."

Nick, Gene and Audra stepped out in the hallway. The doctor closed the door. Audra had begun to cry more. Gene and Nick were visibly shaken.

"He can’t die," she said. "He can’t."

"Jarrod’s tough," Nick replied. "He’ll make it."

"I hope so," Gene told them. "Because it doesn’t look good."

In Jarrod’s room, the doctor had laid the boy flat. He prepared to reopen Jarrod’s chest. He looked at Victoria.

"I’ll do everything I can to save him," the doctor said.

"I know you will," she replied.

The doctor began to operate. The rib bone was still together and had started to heal. There was blood coming from the lung. On closer examination, the doctor noticed that a piece of rib bone the size of his little finger was lodged in the lung. Removing it was going to be very delicate.

"Victoria," he said, "there is a small piece of rib bone lodged in the lung. That’s what’s causing the problem. I’ve got to remove it."

"All right," she replied.

The doctor eased his way to the lung and located the bone fragment. He removed it and luckily the lung did not collapse. Jarrod’s breathing increased. He sewed up the area where the bone chip was. Then he closed Jarrod’s chest up after cleaning up the blood. He looked at the boy. His breathing was getting better. He started bandaging the chest wound.

"I believe that was the problem all along," the doctor said. "He should begin to improve in a few days. He’ll sleep for several hours. I’m going to stay here to monitor him for a while."

"I understand," she replied. "I’ll go tell Nick, Gene and Audra."

She walked out into the hallway as the doctor put a pillow under Jarrod’s head. He finished bandaging Jarrod’s chest and sat down in the chair beside the bed. Nick, Gene and Audra shot up from the couch where they had been sitting.

"Mother," Nick asked, "how is he?"

"He’s going to be fine," she answered. "There was a small piece of rib bone lodged in his lung. That was what kept causing the pain and discomfort. He’s resting easier now."

"Can we see him?" Gene asked.

"Certainly," she answered and they walked into Jarrod’s room.

The doctor looked up as the family walked in. He smiled.

"He’s resting easier and I believe he’s going to be all right," the doctor said.

"Thank you doctor," Victoria replied.

"He can’t move around for a few days until everything begins to heal," the doctor told them. "He’s still very weak. If he starts moving around, his lung could collapse. I’m going to stay tonight and see how he gets along."

"We won’t let him," Audra said.

"Jarrod," he said, "I want you to listen to me. I had to operate again. There was a small piece of rib bone lodged in your lung. I removed it. You have to stay quiet and rest."

"I understand," he muttered. "I’m so tired."

"Close your eyes and sleep," the doctor replied.

Jarrod eased his eyes closed and fell into a deep, healing sleep. Victoria, who had refused to leave her son’s room, watched, as his breathing was steady and strong. He was going to be all right. She closed her eyes and drifted off in the chair satisfied that her oldest son was resting comfortably.

The next morning, Nick, Gene and Audra walked into their brother’s room. Jarrod was still asleep, as was their mother. The doctor looked up as they walked in.

"He’s sleeping very sound," the doctor said. "He’ll be fine in a few days."

"Mother’s resting too," Nick replied. "She needs the rest."

"I’ll wait until he wakes up before I leave," the doctor told them. "I want to examine him again. But I don’t want to disturb his rest."

Victoria woke up when she heard the voices. She looked around and saw her three other children in the room. Then she looked over at Jarrod. He was still sleeping and he really looked at peace. He would wake up soon enough.

"I see he’s still asleep," she said.

"Yes," the doctor replied. "It’s the first real good sleep he’s had since he was shot. I want him to rest and build up his strength. I still don’t want him to move around for several more days and then he’s going to have to take it easy."

"I understand," Victoria told him. "He’s a very lucky boy."

"Yes he is," the doctor said. "I want you to get him to eat something. That will help him get better."

"All right," she replied. "I’ll talk to Silas."

She stood up and left the room. Nick, Gene and Audra stood around his bed. They watched as their brother slept soundly.

"Thanks doc," Nick said. "We’re so happy he’s going to be fine."

"I know," the doctor replied. "He’s a special young man."

"That he is," Gene told him. "He’s a wonderful brother."

"Yes," Audra said. "Thank you for giving our brother back to us."

"You’re welcome," the doctor replied.

Victoria walked back into the room.

"Don’t disturb your brother," she said. "He needs rest and quiet."

"We’re not," Nick replied. "We were just concerned about him."

"I know," she told them. "I’m having Silas prepare Jarrod something easy for him to eat."

"Good," the doctor said. "I still want to exam him before I leave."

"Mother," Jarrod whispered.

"Yes honey," she replied as she walked over to the side of the bed.

"I hurt," he told her.

"I know you do," she said. "You had to have another operation yesterday."

"Jarrod," the doctor asked, "this is Dr. Merrar. I want to examine you."

"All right," Jarrod answered.

The doctor began his examination of Jarrod. The family moved out of the way. They watched as the doctor checked Jarrod over thoroughly. When he stood up, Victoria walked back over to the side of the bed.

"Everything seems to be all right," he said. "I still want him to stay quiet until that lung heals. I want him to have plenty of rest and see if you can get him to start eating. I’ll check back later this evening."

"That will be fine doctor," Victoria replied as the doctor left the room.

Then she turned her attention back to her son.

"How do you feel son?" she asked.

"I still hurt," he answered. "And I’m awfully sore."

"That’s understandable," she said. "Do you feel like you could eat something?"

"Not right now," he replied. "I don’t think it would stay down."

"All right," she told him. "Maybe after while."

"Yes," he said and his eyes started to go closed.

He tried to keep them open but he couldn’t.

"Son," she said, "why don’t you sleep some more. You need a lot of rest."

"All right," he replied. "I am very tired."

His eyes went closed and Victoria sat down in the chair beside the bed. Nick, Gene and Audra walked over to the bed. They smiled at their brother.

"Mother," Nick said, "I’m going to work out in field with the hands. If you need me, send McNally. He’ll be working in the barn."

"That will be fine son," she replied.

Nick left the room.

"Mother," Gene said, "I need to ride into Stockton and see if I can find some clothes to wear while I’m at Berkely."

"All right," she replied. "Why don’t you take Audra with you? She can help you with your wardrobe."

"Yeah," Gene told her.

"All right," Audra said.

The two of them left. Victoria was now alone with her son. She watched him as he slept. He was so peaceful. She knew he was very sore and weak but he was alive and would be fine.

"You can’t get up just yet son," she said. "The doctor wants you to rest for a few days."

"All right," he replied. "What time is it?"

"About noon," she told him. "Do you think you could eat something?"

"I can try," he said.

"Good," she replied and left the room to see Silas.

While he was alone, he threw back the covers and sat up in the bed. Then he set his feet on the floor and stood up. He gingerly took a few steps. Then he began to gasp for air. He tried to make it back to the bed but collapsed in the floor on his side. He didn’t move. When his mother walked back into the room, she saw him. She rushed over to him and noticed that his breathing was ragged. She rushed out of the room and down the stairs.

"Silas," she said when she saw him, "tell McNally to ride to town and bring the doctor. Jarrod’s collapsed in the floor and he’s not breathing very well."

"Yes Mrs. Barkley," Silas replied as he left the house.

Victoria rushed back upstairs to check on her son. His breathing was very shallow and his wound had begun to bleed. Victoria knew that it was bad. She prayed that the doctor would arrive in time.

Forty minutes later, the doctor walked into the room. He saw Jarrod lying in the floor and the blood on the bandage.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I’m not sure," she answered. "I found him like this. I stepped out of the room to get him something to eat and when I returned he was lying in the floor barely breathing."

"Let’s get him back in the bed," the doctor said.

The two of them maneuvered Jarrod back into the bed. Then the doctor checked the wound. He checked to see if the lung was all right and luckily it had not collapsed. He changed the bloody bandage.

"The sudden movement of getting up caused him to pass out," the doctor said. "I need him to wake up so I can tell if any damage was done."

"Let me try," she replied. "Jarrod, can you hear me? Wake up son."

Jarrod started to move and the doctor held him quiet. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked up at the doctor. His breathing was still rough but he was breathing better.

"Jarrod," the doctor asked, "how do you feel?"

"I’m so sore and I hurt," he answered.

"Why did you get up after I had left strict orders to stay quiet?" the doctor asked.

"I just wanted to see if I could," he answered. "I’m sorry. I realized I had made a mistake after I started to pass out and then couldn’t breathe good."

"You stay in that bed young man," the doctor said. "I mean it."

"Yes sir," he replied.

"Victoria please stay with him," the doctor told her.

"I will," she said. "You don’t have to worry. He won’t do that again."

"Good," the doctor replied. "I’ll be by in the morning."

"Fine doctor," she told him and he left.

Victoria looked down at her son with a scowl on her face.

"Do you realize you could have died?" she asked. "When the doctor tells you to do something, you do it. Do you understand?"

"Yes," he answered. "I’m sorry."

"I know you are," she said. "How do you feel?"

"I’m weak," he replied. "I’m also very sore and tired."

"You go back to sleep," she told him. "You can eat something after while."

"All right," he said. "I’m sorry mother."

"I know you are," she replied. "But don’t do that again."

"I won’t," he told her and his eyes closed.

Victoria covered him up. Then she sat down in the chair. She realized that in that short span of time she could have lost her oldest son.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"I’m still weak," he answered. "I’m sorry about getting up earlier. It was stupid and I realize that I could have died from that stunt."

"Yes you could," she said. "Do you think you could eat something?"

"I can try," he replied. "Don’t worry. I won’t get up. I promise."

"All right," she told him. "I have to tell Silas. I’ll be right back. Don’t move."

"Yes mother," he said and barely smiled.

As Victoria walked down the stairs to talk to Silas, Nick walked in. He looked at his mother and she knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"He’s awake," she said. "Would you go sit with him? Earlier today, he got out of bed and it nearly cost him his life. I don’t won’t to leave him alone."

"Sure," Nick replied and walked upstairs to Jarrod’s room.

When he walked in and saw his brother awake, he smiled.

"I heard you got mother’s ire up today," Nick said.

"Yeah," Jarrod replied. "I got out of bed when I wasn’t supposed to."

"What possessed you to do that?" Nick asked.

"I don’t know," Jarrod answered. "I was woozy, confused and aggravated because I couldn’t get up and move around."

"I know how you feel," Nick said. "Listen, when you get out of here we’ll go fishing and forget about everything."

"All right," Jarrod replied. "You’ve got a deal."

Jarrod raised his right hand up to his face. He brushed a piece of hair out of his face. His mother walked in carrying a tray. She sat the tray down on the table beside the bed.

"Nick," she said, "help me prop your brother up so he can eat."

Victoria and Nick propped Jarrod up on additional pillows and he grunted with every movement.

"I know you’re sore son," she said. "I’m sorry we had to hurt you."

"You didn’t hurt me much," he replied. "I just can’t seem to hold my eyes open."

"That’s normal son," she told him. "Now, I want you to try to eat something."

She sat the tray on his lap. He began to nibble on the food. He had to force his eyes to stay open. He did manage to eat all of it.

"That should help you regain your strength," she said. "Do you want to slide back down in the bed and take a nap?"

"I don’t know," he answered. "I can’t seem to stay awake."

"Let us help you," she said.

Victoria and Nick slid Jarrod back down in the bed and he rested his head against the pillows. His eyes eased closed and he slept.

"He just can’t seem to stay awake for very long," Nick said.

"He’s very weak and sore," she replied. "He just had surgery earlier and that has taken a lot out of him."

"I know," Nick told her. "But he is going to be fine."

"Jarrod," she asked furiously, "what are you doing?"

"Catching up on my work," he answered.

"You’re supposed to take it easy," she said.

"I am," he replied. "I’m just sitting right here reading."

"Well," she told him, "I want you to go back upstairs in an hour and lay down. Do you understand me?"

"Yes mother," he said and went back to work.

Victoria left the room. After she was gone, Jarrod looked outside the door to see if anyone was there. When he didn’t see anyone, he walked back into the room. He sat down for a minute before carrying out what he had to do. Then he stood up, pushed his chair back and with all his might pushed the desk. His chest screamed out in pain and he collapsed in the floor behind the desk. Victoria thought she heard something and went to the study to check on Jarrod. When she walked in she didn’t see him. Then when she walked around the desk she spotted his prone body on the floor. His shirt was bloody and he was unconscious.

"Gene!" she called. "Gene!"

Gene hurried into the room. When he saw his brother, he gasped.

"Ride into town and bring the doctor," she said. "Hurry."

"Right away mother," he replied and hurried from the room. "Son, what did you do? You said you were only going to read."

Jarrod’s breathing was very labored as he fought hard to take a breath. Victoria made a decision.

"Nick!" she called. "Nick!"

Nick came into the room and when he saw Jarrod, he was very concerned.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I’m not sure," she answered. "I found him like this. He’s bleeding again."

"Mother," Nick said, "it’s almost as if he wants to die."

"Nick," she replied, "what are you saying?"

"Jarrod keeps doing things to hurt himself," Nick told her. "It’s as if he wants to kill himself."

"Help me get him on the couch until Gene gets back with the doctor," she said.

The two of them helped Jarrod over to the couch where he laid down. He came to. Victoria looked down at him.

"Son," she asked, "what happened?"

"I had a spell," he answered but wouldn’t look at her. "I passed out in the floor."

"Then why is your shirt bloody," she wanted to know.

"I don’t know," he said and again wouldn’t look at her. "Nick, stay with your brother. I have to do something."

"All right mother," he replied as she left the house.

"Mother," Gene asked, "how’s Jarrod?"

"He’s conscious," she answered. "I have something to take care of. I’ll be back shortly. Nick is with Jarrod."

"All right," Gene said and rode on toward the house with the doctor.

Victoria arrived in town. She went to the jail. Harry was sitting behind the desk and looked up as she walked in.

"Mrs. Barkley," he asked, "what can I do for you?"

"I need to see John Parker," she answered.

"How’s Jarrod?" he asked.

"He’s still in a lot of pain," she answered. "Can I see John?"

"Certainly," he said.

He led her back to John Parker’s cell. She walked inside and looked at John.

"Call me when you’re through," Harry said.

"Thanks sheriff," she replied. "John, I need your help."

"What?" he asked.

"Jarrod has tried on two separate occasions to either hurt or kill himself," she told him. "I need you to talk to him about Matt."

"Why would he try to end his life?" John asked confused.

"Because he blames himself for Matt’s death," she answered. "The day after Matt died, he told me that he was to blame. I tried to tell him he wasn’t but he wouldn’t listen. Then after the trip to your place, he told me about introducing Matt and Julia. He felt that if he hadn’t introduced them, Matt wouldn’t have died. Now, he has twice gotten up without permission and tried to deliberately hurt himself. He’s lying at the ranch now barely breathing."

"I never realized how much Matt meant to Jarrod," John said. "If Harry will let me out I’ll go with you."

"All right," she replied. "Harry."

Harry walked back to the cell and opened the door. Victoria told him her proposition.

"Harry," she said, "I need you to release John so he can ride to the ranch with me."

"You know I can’t do that," Harry replied. "He’s in here for attempted murder. The attempted murder of your son."

"It’s my son that I’m worried about," she told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Jarrod has tried on two separate occasions to end his life," she answered. "I’m hoping that if John comes out to the ranch with me, he can talk to Jarrod and clear up whatever is bothering him. He has blamed himself for Matt’s death."

"I don’t know," Harry said. "It’s really against the law."

"Blast the law!" she replied loudly. "It’s my son’s life that is at stake."

"All right," Harry told her. "But I have to go along."

"Fine," she said. "Hurry."

Harry released John and the three of them rode out to the Barkley Ranch.

"Nick," the doctor asked, "I don’t understand Jarrod. I told him he had to take it easy and not to get up but he deliberately disobeyed."

"I know," Nick answered. "Mother and I figured it out. Jarrod is trying to die. He wants to join Matt."

"Why?" the doctor asked.

"Because he feels responsible for Matt getting into the shape he was in," Nick answered. "It revolved around a girl. Jarrod had introduced them to each other. Matt had fallen head over heels in love with her but she wasn’t what she seemed to be. Anyway, he was court martialed and when he came home he tried to drink himself to death. Jarrod couldn’t get through to him. He felt if he hadn’t introduced them Matt would have been all right."

"I see," the doctor said. "But how do we fix it?"

Victoria and John Parker walked into the room. Harry Lyman had opted to wait downstairs.

"I think I can answer that," she said.

"Victoria," the doctor replied, "John."

"I need to wake him up," she told him.

"All right," the doctor said still not sure what she had in mind.

Victoria walked over to the bed and sat down. She looked down at her oldest son and gently shook his shoulders.

"Jarrod," she said softly, "wake up. Wake up son."

Jarrod began to wake up and finally opened his eyes. When he saw her, he turned his head away from her. She took his face in her hands and made him look at her.

"Jarrod," she said, "I know what you’ve been doing. I’ve brought someone who I believe can help you deal with your guilt."

John Parker slowly walked over to the bed and sat down. He looked down at the young man he had tried to kill.

"I know what you’re going through," John said. "I’ve been going through it too. I let it rule my life. I want to talk to you about Matt and maybe we can get you through this."

"What can you say?" Jarrod asked. "I’m the one who caused Matt’s death."

"No," John answered. "You didn’t cause him to die. That was his choice."

"But," Jarrod said.

"Listen to me," John replied. "Matt wanted to join the army since he was a small boy and heard all the stories his grandfather Parker had told him. When he enlisted, he was thrilled. But there was one thing missing. His best friend. He wanted you to go with him. He knew you were planning on going to college but you were his best friend. When you finally agreed to go, Matt came home on top of the world. Then after you two got to Washington and you nearly died, Matt began to reconsider his decision. He didn't mean for anything to happen to you. Then Julia entered the picture. He told me after he returned home that he wasn’t sure about her when you came home that first time from meeting her. But he didn’t want to interfere in your life. Then you told her about him and when she wanted to meet him, he found that to be a bit odd. He again tried to warn you that she might not be what she appeared to be."

"I know," Jarrod told him. "I just wouldn’t listen."

"Well," John said, "he finally gave in and went with you to meet her. He said she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He didn’t mean to but he fell madly in love with her that night. She really didn’t feel anything for him but he couldn’t stop himself. He also didn’t want to hurt you. She kept asking him military questions and he would answer her. The day you were badly injured and lying in the infirmary near death, he went to see Julia. He only wanted to tell her that you were badly injured. But somehow she enticed him and he ended up sleeping with her. He didn’t want to. That’s why when you finally woke up, he couldn’t look at you. He felt so guilty at what he had done."

"I don’t blame him for that," Jarrod replied. "She was playing on his compassion for me."

"That’s right," John told him. "After the war ended and Julia left, he was devastated. He just couldn’t pull himself out of the rut he had found himself in. That’s why he was so bitter when he came home. He was angry but not at you. He was angry with himself. He couldn’t deal with what he had done to you. He felt like he had let you down as well as me and his mother."

"I never knew," Jarrod said. "I thought he was still in love with her."

"He was," John replied. "But the worst part was his anger at himself. That’s why he tried to drink himself to death. Not because of her or you but because of the situation he found himself in."

"I’m sorry Mr. Parker," Jarrod replied. "I guess I was wrong too."

"Yes," John told him. "Matt wouldn’t want you to take your life. He would want you to fulfill your dream and become the best lawyer you can be. There will always be a part of him in you Jarrod. Remember that. I’m sorry for trying to take your life for his. I’ve had time to think and have now realized that that wasn’t what Matt would have wanted. He would want us to carry on."

"Yes sir," Jarrod said. "Thank you sir."

"You’re welcome Jarrod," John replied. "Now if you will excuse me, the sheriff is waiting downstairs for me."

"Wait," Jarrod told him. "I’m not going to press charges against you. You were as distraught as I was. We were not thinking straight. I think you should go home and be with your family."

"Are you sure Jarrod?" Victoria asked him.

"Yes mother," Jarrod answered. "I’ve never been more sure in my life."

"All right," she said. "I’ll tell Harry."

John and Victoria left the room and the doctor turned his attention back to Jarrod.

"Are you ready to get better?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered and smiled.

"That’s very good news," the doctor said and smiled.

"Jarrod," he said, "I don’t want you to get up or move around for several days. You have had two operations and you need time to heal."

"Yes sir," Jarrod replied. "I’m sorry about what I did earlier."

"It’s all right," the doctor told him. "But now it’s time to rest. Do you need something to help you sleep?"

"No," Jarrod said. "I’m tired and think I can rest on my own."

"All right," the doctor replied.

Jarrod closed his eyes and went to sleep. Nick stayed with him until his mother returned.

Down in the study, Victoria was telling Harry what Jarrod had decided to do.

"Are you sure you want to do this Victoria?" Harry asked.

"Yes," she answered. "John has suffered enough. We want him to go home to his family and begin to heal."

"All right," he said and turned to John. "You’re free to go."

"Thanks Harry," John replied and walked out the door.’

"I hope you know what you’re doing," Harry told her.

"I do," she said and smiled.

"I’ll head back to town," he replied and left the house.

Victoria walked back up the stairs to her son’s bedroom. When she entered, Nick looked up.

"I see he’s asleep," she said.

"Yeah," Nick replied. "The doctor was going to give him something if he couldn’t rest on his own. He said he could rest on his own."

Good," she told him. "He needs plenty of rest."

"Well," Nick said, "he’s going to get it even if I have to sit on him."

"I know," she replied. "Would you mind staying with him? I’m sure he won’t do anything if he was to wake up. But I don’t want to take any chances."

"Sure," Nick told her. "I’ll be happy to stay. And don’t worry. He’s going to be fine."

"I know he is," she said and left the room.

Victoria walked downstairs and sat down in the parlor to rest. She was certain that Jarrod would heal now both mentally as well as physically. She was also glad that John Parker was free to heal also. That family had been through so much. Gene and Audra walked in and saw their mother. They sat down.

"Mother," Gene asked, "how’s Jarrod?"

"He’s asleep," she answered. "He’s going to be fine."

"Mother," Audra asked, "why did you leave?"

"I had to do something very important," Victoria answered. "Your brother had been deliberately hurting himself. He blamed himself for Matt Parker’s death. I went to town and had John brought out here to talk to Jarrod."

"Did it help?" Gene asked.

"Yes," she answered. "He was able to help Jarrod understand why Matt had died. Once it was out in the open, your brother was all right."

"I’m so glad," Audra said.

"I know," she replied. "Jarrod is very special."

"He sure is," Gene told them.

In Jarrod’s room, Nick was dozing in the chair when he heard someone call his name. When he opened his eyes and looked around, he realized that Jarrod had called him. He smiled at Jarrod.

"How long have you been awake?" Nick asked.

"Just a few minutes," Jarrod answered. "I didn’t mean to bother you."

"You aren’t bothering me," Nick said.

"I’m glad," Jarrod replied. "I want to apologize to you for the way I’ve been acting. I just didn’t understand everything."

"You don’t owe me anything," Nick told him. "I know what you were going through trying to deal with Matt’s death and then being hurt yourself."

"Still I shouldn’t have tried to hurt myself," Jarrod said.

"No you shouldn’t have," Nick replied. "But I know why you did it."

"Where’s mother?" Jarrod asked.

"I don’t know," Nick answered. "I guess she’s downstairs. Why?"

"I was just wondering," Jarrod said. "She’s a wonderful mother."

"Yeah," Nick replied. "And you’re a pretty good brother."

"Pretty good?" Jarrod asked and smiled.

"Yeah," Nick said and also smiled.

"Jarrod," she said, "you are looking better today."

"I feel a lot better," he replied. "Mother, can I talk to you?"

"Certainly," she told him and laid her book down. "What’s on your mind?"

"I’ve been thinking," he said. "When I get married and have children, I would like to name my first son, Charles Matthew after grandfather and Matt."

"I know your grandfather would be proud and so would Matt," she replied. "I want to ask you a favor."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I want you to consider naming if you have another son, after your father," she answered.

"All right," he said, "if I have another son, I promise I’ll name him Thomas."

"Thank you son," she replied. "Your father would be very proud of you. He always said that you would be a famous man when you were grown. And he was right. Here you are a lawyer getting ready to open your second office. I am so proud of you."

"Thank you mother," he replied. "Sometimes I wish he were still here to help guide me in the right direction."

"Your father is here Jarrod," she told him. "There’s a part of him in you. I can see it when I look at you. Some of your actions remind me of him. I know that your brother Nick is more like him but you have him in you."

"Thank you mother," Jarrod said. "I plan on leaving for San Francisco at the end of the month provided the doctor gives me his clearance."

"All right," she replied. "I know you are anxious to begin working for Mr. Howard."

"Yes I am," he told her. "It’s a golden opportunity for me to gain experience and also learn."

"I know you were really looking forward to getting the help from Col. Hodges," she said.

"Yes I was," Jarrod replied. "But it wasn’t meant to be."

"No it wasn’t," she agreed. "I think you should go and rest. You’re still weak."

"All right," he told her and went upstairs.

She watched him go. She was very proud of him.

"Mother," he said, "I’ll miss you. But I won’t be too far away. It won’t be like it was when I went to Washington, D.C. for four years. I’ll try to get back and visit when I can."

"I know you will Jarrod," she replied. "You take care of yourself and do a good job for Mr. Howard."

"I will," he told her.

She hugged him tightly.

"If I get a chance," she said, "I’ll try to come visit."

"That would be great," he replied. "I can show you the apartment I’m going to live in. That is when I pick one out. That’s another thing I have to do when I get there."

"All right," she told him and smiled. "I’ll look forward to it."

"Nick," Jarrod said, "you take care of the ranch. When I get a chance to come home, I’ll give you a hand."

"I’ll keep you to that," Nick replied. "I’ll have soon to be college boy here to help me."

"Who are you calling soon to be college boy?" Gene asked knowing full well whom Nick was talking about.

"You," Nick answered. "Anyway, take care of yourself Jarrod."

"I will," Jarrod said and smiled.

He hugged Nick. Then he turned his attention to Gene.

"You take care of yourself Gene," Jarrod said. "I can’t believe in a few years that you’ll be heading off to college."

"Yeah I know," Gene replied. "I’m really looking forward to it."

Jarrod hugged his youngest brother.

"Jarrod," Audra said, "I’m going to miss you. This is the first time since father died that you will be gone."

"I know honey," he replied. "I’ll just be in San Francisco. And I’ll come home as often as I can."

"You promise?" she asked.

"I promise," he answered.

He hugged and kissed her.

The next morning he got his bags together and headed off for Stockton to catch the train for San Francisco. The first order of business when he arrived in San Francisco would be to find a place to live. The second would be to begin working for Adam Howard. Jarrod found himself anticipating working for Howard. As the train left Stockton, Jarrod Barkley was embarking on a journey that would lead him to a whole new chapter in his life.