hapter 1      Jarrod arrived in San Francisco at 3:30 p.m. on August 1, 1865. He left the train station and headed for the university. Jarrod was really looking forward to college. He had been preparing for this his entire life. As he walked along he thought about the long road that had gotten him here.

I’m the eldest son in a family of four, he thought. I have had a lot of pitfalls along the way but one thing has always been constant. My family has always been there with me all the way. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not had them when I needed them. My brother, Nick, and I are very close. We can tell when the other one is sick or hurt. My mother is warm and kind, who worries about me constantly. My father is rugged but he’s given me so much. My little brother, Gene, and little sister, Audra, are very special too. I’m very fortunate to have a wonderful family like them. So, that’s what has brought me to this moment.

Jarrod came out of his thoughts and walked up the steps to the dean of students’ office. He opened the door and went inside. There was an older, brown-haired woman sitting at a desk just inside the door. He walked up to her.

"May I help you young man?" she asked.

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "I am here to enroll in the fall semester."

"I see," she said. "You’re awfully late. You should have been here two weeks ago."

"I was otherwise detained," he answered.

"All right," she told him. "Fill out these forms and we’ll get started."

She handed Jarrod several forms to fill out. He sat down in a chair and began to fill them out. When he was finished several minutes later, he walked back over to the woman.

"Finished all ready?" she asked. "That was quick. Most of the students take an hour to fill out these."

"I’m fast," he replied flatly.

"I can see that," she said. "All right. "Wait here and I will get your room assignment."

She walked inside a nearby room and disappeared. Jarrod took the opportunity to take a look around at the college grounds through the open window in the room. The woman returned a few minutes later.

"Here you are," she said and handed him a piece of paper. "Mr. Barkley, you are assigned to building six, room ten. You can go back out the way you came, down the steps to your right, and it’s the third building."

"Thank you," Jarrod replied.

He left the building and followed her directions. He found building six and walked inside. It housed over two dozen rooms for the students to stay in while they went to school. Jarrod found room ten. He opened the door and walked inside. There was a young man lying on one of the beds on the other side of the room. Jarrod walked in and put his belongings down on the unoccupied bed.

The boy was approximately five foot, nine inches tall with brown hair and hazel eyes. He was wearing a blue, three-piece suit. He looked over as Jarrod laid his bag down.

"My name is Brett Schyler," he said sticking out his hand. "I guess we’re going to be roommates."

"My name is Jarrod Barkley," Jarrod replied and shook hands with the boy. "It’s nice to meet you."

"I didn’t think I was going to have a roommate this term," Brett replied.

"I wasn’t able to get here any sooner," Jarrod told him.

"What are you planning on studying?" Brett asked. "I’m studying to be a lawyer."

"Me too," Jarrod told him. "I’ve spent the last four years in Washington, D.C. working for a counselor at law."

"Were you in the army or something?" Brett asked.

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "Were you in service?"

"No," Brett said. "I’ve been attending classes here for the past two years."

Jarrod realized that Brett was also around his age. He liked the boy though and thought that they would probably get along as roommates.

"You got any family Jarrod?" Brett was asking.

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "I have two brothers and a sister."

"I don’t have any brothers and sisters," Brett told him. "I lived with my father before coming here to school."

"What happened to your mother?" Jarrod asked.

"She is still in Philadelphia as far as I know," Brett told him. "My parents are no longer together."

"I’m sorry," Jarrod remarked.

"Don’t worry about it," Brett told him. "Have you had a chance to look around yet?"

"Not really," Jarrod replied. "I only got here a little while ago."

"Where from?" Brett asked.

"Stockton," Jarrod answered.

"I bet it’s a nice place," Brett said.

"The best," Jarrod told him.

Jarrod continued to unpack. Brett continued to lie on the bed. Once Jarrod was finished, Brett showed Jarrod around the school grounds. Jarrod began to really like Brett. He was funny, smart and he knew how to make people feel at ease around him. He reminded Jarrod a little of Matt. Jarrod sobered when he thought about Matt. He was still very worried about Matt, but he knew he had to put that behind him and buckle down if he wanted to become a lawyer.

"You’re lucky Jarrod," Brett told him. "I started college when I was eighteen and I still have four more years to go. But you get a recommendation from some colonel and you’ll be out in four."

"You aren’t jealous are you Brett?" Jarrod asked, curious.

"No," Brett said. "I am just surprised that’s all."
"Surprised at what?" Jarrod asked.

"That you are so determined to become a lawyer," Brett told him. "How did you decide to become a lawyer anyway?"
"My best friend made a comment before we joined the army and I decided then," Jarrod answered.

"What was the comment Jarrod?" Brett asked.

"He said that I sounded like some fancy lawyer with my big words and that’s when I realized I wanted to become a lawyer," Jarrod answered.

"Did your friend come with you?" Brett asked, curious.

"No," Jarrod answered. "He’s still in Washington. I hope to hear from him soon."

"Then you haven’t seen him for a while," Brett said.

"No," Jarrod replied. Not in four long months."

"Sounds like you two were very close," Brett replied.

"We grew up together," Jarrod remarked. "He’s a year older than me."

"You’re what twenty-one?" Brett asked.

"Not yet," Jarrod told him. "I won’t be twenty-one till December."

"Oh," Brett said. "Are you a Christmas baby?"

"No," Jarrod answered. "My birthday’s the seventeenth."

"Mine’s in March," Brett told him. "The twenty-second."

"That’s great Brett," Jarrod replied.

The two boys picked up all the books they would need for this term plus paper, pens and pencils. They decided to share books. They could study together in the evenings. They had two desks in their room, one for Brett and one for Jarrod. Jarrod had brought along a picture of his family, which he proudly set on his desk. He looked at the picture before he set it down. He really missed them. He’d hardly had time to visit with them with all his health problems. He wondered what they were doing.

"Jarrod," Brett asked, "are you all right?"

"I’m fine," Jarrod replied. "I was just thinking."

"Thinking about your family?" Brett asked.

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "I really miss them."

"I would have thought that a guy who had spent the last four years in Washington wouldn’t be homesick here," Brett told him.

"I am," Jarrod replied. "I was sick when I came home and I don’t remember much about the last few months."

"I hope it wasn’t anything serious," Brett said.

"Yes," Jarrod answered, "it was very serious. You see, I was injured while I was in Washington. Several times. I didn’t know when I got home just how serious the injuries were. But the next day, my parents wanted me to go to the doctor and be examined. He found that I had a small puncture in one of my lungs. He eventually had to operate to fix it. Actually, he had to operate twice. I spent the majority of my time in bed."

"You’re a lucky guy," Brett remarked.

"Yes I know," Jarrod said. "If my parents hadn’t insisted that I go to the doctor, I could have easily died. But that’s water under the bridge. I’m here now and I’m fine."

"Yes and that’s what counts," Brett told him. "You know Jarrod, I believe we are going to get along and be good friends."

"I have the same feeling Brett," Jarrod replied.

"All right students," Professor Hamilton said, "now we’ll get down to business. The law is something that should be followed not disobeyed. If you break the law, you will be punished unless of course you hire a very good lawyer."

The class laughed at the joke. Brett leaned over and whispered to Jarrod.

"I guess he thinks we are going to be looking for law breakers to defend," Brett told him.

Jarrod smiled and nodded. But to himself, he thought:

The professor had stopped talking. He was writing on the blackboard. He turned back to his class.

"This is your assignment for tonight," he said. "We will discuss the chapters tomorrow when we meet. Class dismissed."

Brett and Jarrod picked up their books and headed out. As Jarrod walked in front of the professor’s desk, he heard him call his name.

"Mr. Barkley," Professor Hamilton said, "a minute please."

Jarrod nodded for Brett to go on and turned back to the professor.

"Yes sir," Jarrod replied.

"Mr. Barkley," he asked, "I understand that you worked under Robert Hodges while you were in Washington?"

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered. "I did."

"I know Bob," he said. "He’s moved back to San Francisco and wanted me to tell you that he would like to see you. His address is 40 River Drive."

"Thank you Professor Hamilton," Jarrod told him. "I would love to see the colonel."

"He’s not a colonel anymore," Hamilton replied. "He’s retired from the service."

"I’ll go see him soon," Jarrod said.

"He’s issued a dinner invitation to you for this evening," the professor stated.

"All right," Jarrod told him. "I’ll see him tonight."

"At seven," the professor said.

"Seven," Jarrod repeated. "Thank you sir."

Jarrod headed out the door. Brett was waiting on him.

"Anything wrong Jarrod?" Brett asked.

"No," Jarrod answered. "I’ve just been invited to dinner."

"By the professor?" Brett asked.

"No," Jarrod told him. "By my former commanding officer."

"Oh," Brett said. "Let’s go."

The two boys headed to their next class. They spent most of the day in classes. Jarrod got the distinct impression that Brett was very smart. He didn’t take very many notes.

When they arrived back at their room, Brett put his books down and flopped on the bed. Jarrod laid his books down and began to read the chapters for tomorrow.

"Jarrod," Brett said. "why don’t we go do something?"

"Brett," Jarrod told him, "I am doing something. I’m studying. If I’m going to Colonel Hodges’ house tonight, I have to get this done."

"Suit yourself," Brett replied. "I’m going out."

Brett got up and left the room. Jarrod spent the next few hours studying.

The beautiful two-story, brick house with white shutters stood out with the river in the background. It had a porch that wrapped around both sides of the house. Jarrod just stood and admired it.

"This house fits the colonel," he thought.

Jarrod adjusted his tie and walked up to the front door. He gathered himself and then knocked on the door. A servant opened the large white door.

"May I help you?" he asked.

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "I am expected for dinner."

"Your name sir?" he asked.

"Jarrod Barkley," Jarrod told him.

"Yes Mr. Barkley" the man replied. "Colonel Hodges is expecting you. Won’t you come in."

Jarrod walked in to the magnificent house. The servant took Jarrod’s hat and showed him into the parlor.

"Colonel Hodges will be with you in a moment," he stated.

Jarrod stood looking around at the beautiful room. It had a high ceiling and was decorated in early colonial. He was very impressed with the colonel’s beautiful home. Hodges came into the room a few minutes later.

"Jarrod," he said, "I’m so glad you could come."

He shook Jarrod’s hand.

"I am honored colonel," Jarrod told him.

"Jarrod," Hodges said, "there is no need for titles now. We are both out of the army. I would be happy if you called me Bob."

"All right sir," Jarrod replied.

"How have you been since the last time I saw you?" Hodges asked.

Jarrod’s face sobered and he hesitated. Hodges knew that he had hit a nerve with the young man.

"Jarrod," he asked, "is something wrong?"

"No sir," Jarrod replied.

"Then what is it?" he asked.

"Sir," Jarrod said, "I’ve spent the last four months in the bed."

"What happened?" Hodges asked with a concerned look on his face.

"When I returned home," Jarrod began, "my parents wanted our family doctor to examine me. I complied. I really didn’t have much of a choice. My mother insisted on it. The doctor found that one of my lungs had been punctured. It was a tiny puncture. I had to stay with him. Several hours later, I began to gasp for breath after I had woke up from a nightmare. The doctor ended up having to operate on me twice to repair the damage that was done when I was injured back in Washington."

"Oh Jarrod," Hodges said. "I am so sorry. Are you all right now?"

"Yes," he answered. "I just don’t remember too much about the last few months."

"I’m so glad you could come," Hodges replied.

"I’m glad you asked me sir," Jarrod told him.

About that time, an attractive older woman walked into the room.

"Jarrod," Hodges said, "this is my wife, Maureen."

"Jarrod," she replied, "I’m so happy to meet you. Bob’s told me so much about you. I’m so glad you could come."

"Thank you ma’am," Jarrod said.

A young girl flowed into the room. She was seventeen, with beautiful brown hair and blue eyes. Jarrod couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

"Jarrod," Hodges replied, "this is my daughter, Rachel."

"Jarrod," she said, "I am pleased to meet you."

"I am very pleased to meet you too Rachel," Jarrod answered.

Rachel couldn’t take her eyes off of Jarrod either. She thought he was very handsome with his brown hair parted on the left side and pushed back neatly on his forehead. But what she really liked was his magnificent blue eyes. They were so big and so blue.

The group moved to the dining room a short time later. Jarrod was seated between the colonel and his daughter.

"Sir," Jarrod said, "I would like to thank you for the recommendation you wrote to the university on my behalf."

"Jarrod," Hodges replied. "I was happy to write that letter. You were a great help to me the last four years while we were both stationed in Washington. You learned a great deal. Now, I want you to become a lawyer."

"Yes sir," Jarrod told him. "I plan on doing that. I have planned to go to college since I was a small boy growing up in Stockton."

"Jarrod," he asked, "just out of curiosity what is your father’s first name?"

"Tom sir," Jarrod answered.

"I thought so," he replied. "I have known your father for the past twenty years. We have been in business dealings together on several occasions. He’s a great man."

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered. "He is."

"I had no idea four years ago when you became my aide that you were Tom’s son," Hodges replied. "Then after I got back here to San Francisco, I did a little checking. Sure enough I found out you were his son. I was proud that I had been able to help Tom Barkley’s boy out."

"Thank you sir," Jarrod replied. "That’s very kind of you to say."

"I mean it son," he told Jarrod. "Your father is a very well-respected businessman even here in San Francisco. He’s done a lot for the state of California."

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered.

"I believe your mother, Victoria, has helped Tom a great deal," he said.

"Yes sir," Jarrod replied. "My mother has always stood tall with my father when she wasn’t busy raising my brothers, my sister and me."

"You have brothers?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered. "Two. Nick, who’s four years younger and Gene, who’s only eleven. Then there’s my little sister, Audra."

"Well it sounds like Tom has done very well for himself," Hodges remarked. "Sometime Jarrod I will sit down and tell you some of the stories of what Tom and I have done in the past."

"I would like that sir," Jarrod replied.

The rest of the evening went very fast. Jarrod bid the Hodges goodbye and headed for his room. He had to get up early for class in the morning.

"Thank you again for asking me to dinner sir," Jarrod said. "The meal was wonderful."

"I’m glad you liked it Jarrod," Maureen said. "We’ll get together again soon."

"That will be fine," Jarrod answered.

After Jarrod had left, Bob Hodges was sitting in the parlor with his wife and daughter.

"Maureen," he said, "I had no idea that Jarrod was Tom Barkley’s son when I met him four years ago. I’m glad I wrote that recommendation for him. Jarrod’s a lot like Tom with the ambitions he’s set for himself. His mannerisms though are like his mother’s except for his big, bright blue eyes. Those he inherited from his father. I know that boy will make a wonderful lawyer."

"I believe you’re right Bob," she replied. "Jarrod’s also a very polite young man."

"That’s Tom and Victoria’s influence showing through," he said. "Tom is well liked and well respected and I believe that Jarrod will be too."

"I think he’s cute," Rachel popped up with. "He’s got the most magnificent blue eyes. They just stand out on his face."

"Now Rachel," Bob told her, "don’t get all crazy over the boy. He’s not going to have time to spend with you. He wants to be a lawyer."

"I don’t care Father," she said. "I like Jarrod and would love to see him again."

"I’m sure you will dear," Maureen replied. "We’ll have him over again for dinner."

"I don’t mean here Mother," she told her. "I mean see Jarrod alone. Maybe go out on a date with him."

"How did your dinner go?" he asked.

"Fine," Jarrod answered. "I had a very nice evening."

"Your friend got any girls?" Brett asked smiling.

"He’s not my friend Brett," Jarrod shot back. "He’s my former commanding officer. And to answer your question, yes he has one daughter."

Is she pretty?" he asked.

"Yes I would say so," Jarrod replied. "Very pretty."

"Jarrod," Brett said, "you like the girl don’t you?"

"Of course," he answered. "She’s a very nice young lady."

"Why don’t you ask her out?" Brett asked.

"What?" Jarrod exclaimed.

"Yeah," Brett told him. "Ask her out? What’s her name?"

"Rachel," Jarrod replied and smiled.

The two boys finally turned in for the night. Jarrod couldn’t sleep though. He kept thinking about what Brett had said about Rachel. He finally shook the thoughts from his mind and went to sleep.

The next few weeks were spent in classes for both Brett and Jarrod. They attended classes every day and Jarrod studied hard in the evenings. Brett on the other hand breezed through his classes. He didn’t have to study much.

The week before Thanksgiving, Brett and Jarrod were having exams. Jarrod had to cram at night. One night, while he was studying, he felt a pain in his chest close to where he had been injured by that knife over a year ago. He stopped studying and relaxed. Soon the pain subsided but Jarrod would not feel the last of that pain. Brett just goofed off and still passed with flying colors. Jarrod did too but he had to study until he thought his eyes would fall out.

"Brett," Jarrod said, "I don’t understand how you do it."

"Do what Jarrod?" Brett asked.

"How you can get by without studying," Jarrod replied. "I have to work hard to keep my grades up and you don’t even hardly study."

"Just a gift I guess," Brett answered.

The next week, Jarrod was ready to go home for a couple of months. It was the break between terms. He was looking forward to spending time with his family. He was still feeling that dull pain in his chest. It wasn’t as bad, but it had never completely gone away. He decided not to mention it to anyone.

"Jarrod," Brett asked. "What time does your train leave?"

"Two," Jarrod answered. "Brett, what are you going to do over the holidays?"

"I guess I’ll just stay here," Brett replied.

"Why don’t you come home with me?" Jarrod asked out of the blue. "I’m sure my family won’t mind. It will give us a chance to enjoy something other than studying."

"I don’t want to impose Jarrod," Brett told him.

"You won’t be imposing," Jarrod said.

"All right," Brett replied. "I’ll go."

"Great," Jarrod said and smiled.

The two boys boarded the train for Stockton. Jarrod was excited about going home. Brett was a little nervous. He wanted to make a good impression on Jarrod’s parents.

The train left San Francisco at two o’clock and arrived in Stockton at four. The two boys left the train and were met by Jarrod’s parents.

"Jarrod," Victoria said and hugged her son tightly, "welcome home."

"Yes Jarrod," Tom said, "it’s good to see you son."

"I’m glad to be home," Jarrod told them. "Oh, this is my roommate, Brett Schyler. Brett these are my parents, Tom and Victoria Barkley."

"I’m glad to meet you Brett," Tom said.

"Nice to meet you," Victoria told him.

"Brett was going to be alone over the holidays so I decided to invite him to stay with us," Jarrod said.

"That’s a wonderful idea Jarrod," Victoria replied.

The four of them climbed into the buggy and headed off for the Barkley Ranch. They arrived sometime later. Jarrod and Brett walked into the house together. Two children met Jarrod.

"Jarrod!" Gene cried as he ran to hug his big brother. "I’m glad you’re home!"

"Jarrod!" Audra screamed and jumped into her brother’s arms.

"Gene," Jarrod said, "Audra. How nice to see you both."

"Who’s that Jarrod?" Gene asked looking at Brett.

"This is my roommate, Brett Schyler," Jarrod replied. "Brett, this is my little brother, Gene and my sister, Audra."

"I’m happy to meet you both," Brett told them.

"Same here Brett," Gene said.

"Yes Brett, I’m glad to meet you," Audra told him.

The group moved into the parlor. Jarrod looked around.

"Where’s Nick?" he asked.

"He’s out working in the south pasture," Tom answered. "He’ll be here for dinner."

"Jarrod," Victoria asked, "how are you feeling?"

"I’m fine Mother," he answered, deciding not to tell her about the pain he was having. "Just a little tired after all the exams."

"Do you need to lay down and take a nap?" she asked.

"No," Jarrod shot back.

"Jarrod," Victoria said, "I’m only concerned about your health. You did have a rough time several months ago."

"I’m fine!" he replied loudly. "Let it alone!"

Jarrod decided to take a walk outside and cool down. He had not meant to spout off rudely at his mother. But he didn’t want her to know he was also in a great deal of pain after getting angry with his mother. She’d never let him out of her sight. Brett stayed in the parlor with Jarrod’s parents.

"Brett," Victoria said, "you’ll have to excuse Jarrod’s behavior. He’s not usually this rude."

"I understand Mrs. Barkley," Brett replied. "He’s just tired from all the studying he’s been doing."

"He’s also still weak from his surgery," she told him. "And I believe he’s in some pain now. That’s why he got so defensive. I can see it in his eyes. You see Brett; we almost lost Jarrod several months ago. He had to have two operations to repair his punctured lung. Jarrod’s a very lucky boy. He could have easily died."

"Yes ma’am," Brett replied. "He told me about it."

"Did Jarrod tell you what caused the problem in the first place?" Victoria asked.

"No," Brett answered.

"Well," she began, "Jarrod joined the army in 1861 and was stationed in Washington. He met a girl while he was there. Her name was Julia Saxon. She was the cause of Jarrod being injured. He was stabbed in the chest and the result was a severed artery and a punctured lung. The doctor in Washington fixed the artery but evidently didn’t see the punctured lung so when Jarrod returned home he was having some pain in his chest. He didn’t know that I knew he was hurting. He tried to hide the pain but I could see it in his eyes and on his face just like what I saw a few minutes ago on his face."

"Anyway," Tom picked up, "we decided to have our doctor here look at Jarrod. Luckily, he found the punctured lung. But not before Jarrod gasped for breath during a nightmare at the doctor’s office. Dr. Merrar operated on Jarrod. He said that the lung collapsed on him twice. Two days later, he had to operate again. He was having trouble keeping the lung from collapsing. So you can see why we are concerned about Jarrod’s heath. He went to school just two months after having surgery."

"Yes sir," Brett answered. "I knew a little about what had happened. He told me part of it. He claimed he was all right. He’s a lucky fellow."

"Yes he is," Victoria replied. "And I want to make sure he stays all right."

Several hours later, Nick came home. Jarrod met him in the barn.

"Hello little brother," Jarrod said.

Nick turned and was staring into the smiling face of his older brother.

"Jarrod!" Nick exclaimed. "When did you get home?"

"A little while ago," he answered.

"I’m glad to see you," Nick said and grabbed his brother in an enormous bear hug.

Jarrod winced with pain when Nick grabbed him so hard. He couldn’t catch his breath for a moment. Luckily Nick didn’t see his face.

"I’m glad to see you too Nick," Jarrod agreed, slightly out of breath.

The two brothers walked into the house together. When they reached the parlor, Jarrod introduced Brett.

"Nick," Jarrod said, "this is my roommate Brett Schyler. Brett, this is my brother, Nick."

"Glad to see you," Nick told him and shook hands.

"Nice to meet you Nick," Brett said.

The family sat down for the evening meal. Brett was beginning to feel right at home here. Jarrod broke the silence.

"Father," he asked, "do you know a man named Robert Hodges?"

"Yes son," his father answered. "Why do you ask?"

"He was the lawyer I worked for in Washington," Jarrod replied. "I think I mentioned him in one of my letters. He also wrote a recommendation to the university on my behalf."

"Yes," Tom said, "I’ve known Bob for over twenty years. He’s a class one citizen. I had no idea that you knew Bob. I guess I didn’t pay any attention to the name or didn’t put two and two together."

"Yes," Jarrod remarked. "I had dinner with his family several weeks ago."

"How is Maureen?" Tom asked.

"She’s fine and so is Rachel his daughter," Jarrod answered.

"I didn’t know that he had a daughter Jarrod," Tom stated.

"Yes sir," Jarrod said and smiled. "She’s very nice."

Tom decided not to press his son for answers. He had a pretty good idea that Jarrod liked Bob’s daughter.

After dinner, the family gathered in the study. Nick, Jarrod and Brett played pool; Tom worked at his desk; Audra and Gene played and Victoria read a book, but out of the corner of her eye she kept an eye on Jarrod.

"Brett," Jarrod asked, "I didn’t know you knew how to play pool."

"Yes," Brett answered. "I’ve been playing for years."

"Brett," Tom asked, "where are you from?"

"Well," Brett began, "I was born and raised in Philadelphia but I’ve been in San Francisco for the last four years. My family is well to do."

"I see," Tom replied.

The family retired for the night. Brett was given one of the guest bedrooms. He couldn’t believe how big the room was. It was enormous compared to what he had been living in for the last several years.

Jarrod was so happy to be home. If only his mother wouldn’t pester him about his health. He changed and climbed into bed. As he lay there, the pain gradually began to get worse. Jarrod finally passed out.

"Tom!" she screamed "Tom!"

Tom hurried out of the dining room when he heard Victoria yelling.

"Victoria," he said, "what’s wrong?"

"It’s Jarrod," she said, tears forming in her eyes.

"What about Jarrod?" Tom asked.

"He won’t wake up," she cried.

Tom hurried up to Jarrod’s room. Victoria was right behind him. When Tom walked over to the bed, he saw that Jarrod was sweating. Tom also noticed that Jarrod seemed to be running a fever.

"Victoria," he said, "we’ve got to get Dr. Merrar."

"Oh please Tom," she cried, "what’s wrong with him?"

"I don’t know," he told her. "I’ll ride to town and bring the doc back."

"Hurry," Victoria said.

Tom hurried downstairs and out the door. Nick having heard all the commotion walked upstairs to see what was going on.

"Mother," Nick called.

"In Jarrod’s room," she answered.

"Mother," Nick said, "what’s wrong?"

"It’s your brother Nick," she replied, with tears in her eyes. "He’s burning up."

"Has Father gone to get the doc," Nick asked. "I thought I felt something connected with Jarrod. That’s why I came up here. I wasn’t sure what the feeling was. I should have known he was in pain."

"Yes," she replied. "Nick, it’s all right son. You couldn’t have sensed this. He must have passed out sometime last night."

Nick walked over to the bed and looked down at his brother. Jarrod’s face was fiery red. He was also sweating. Nick tried to wake Jarrod up. He didn’t move.

"What’s wrong with him?" he asked.

"I don’t know son," Victoria told him. "We’ll have to wait until the doctor arrives."

An hour later, Tom returned with the doctor. Tom Merrar went into Jarrod’s room and looked at his young patient. He began to examine Jarrod. The rest of the family waited outside in the hall.

After the doctor was finished, he stepped out in the hall. Tom and Victoria flew to their feet followed by Nick.

"What’s wrong with him doctor?" she asked.

"Jarrod’s a very sick young man," the doctor said. "He’s got another infection, this time where he was operated on. It’s much worse than the last one. I’ve given him some medicine to help him fight the infection. It’s touch and go for the next several hours."

"You mean Jarrod could die?" Victoria asked, starting to really cry.

"Yes," the doctor acknowledged. "He’s had this infection for over a month. It’s gradually gotten worse. So much so that he must have finally passed out from the severity of the pain. I don’t know if he will get better."

"Can’t you do anything for him?" Victoria screamed.

Tom put a reassuring arm around his wife’s shoulders.

"Doctor," Tom asked, more calmly, "is there anything we can do?"

"Just pray," Dr. Merrar answered.

Tom, Victoria, Nick and the doctor stood at Jarrod’s bedside. He was still unconscious. He was burning up with a fever. Nick sat down beside the bed.

"Jarrod," Nick said quietly, "listen to me. You have to wake up. You’ve got to finish your education. You are going to be a lawyer."

Tom, Victoria and the doctor stepped out into the hall.

"The next twelve hours are the most crucial," the doctor replied. "Jarrod’s a strong boy but this infection has worn down his fighting strength. I should have kept a closer eye on him. He looked like he was completely healed. How could I have missed this."

"It’s not your fault Dr. Merrar," Tom said. "You couldn’t anticipate that Jarrod would develop another infection."

"I could have kept him closer to Stockton," the doctor told them. "I believe all the cramming he had to do before his exams helped to contribute to this."

"Jarrod," she said quietly, "it’s mother. Wake up honey."

Tom knew it was tearing his wife up inside to see her son in this condition. It was also tearing him up too. Jarrod was doing so well. He was enjoying college. But college would have to wait. Tom couldn’t stand it any more. He had to get out of the house. He walked out to the barn and just stood staring off into the distance.

It isn’t fair, he thought. Jarrod didn’t deserve this. He hadn’t asked for this. Why couldn’t the boy stay well?"

The more Tom thought, the madder he got.

Back in the house, Jarrod’s eyes were trying to open. Victoria jumped to her feet.

"Come on honey," she coaxed. "Come back to us."

The doctor was also at Jarrod’s side. He began to examine Jarrod again. Finally, Jarrod opened his eyes. He looked around.

"What happened?" he croaked.

"You have a very serious infection and a very high fever," his mother told him.

"Am I going to be all right?" he asked.

"I hope so honey," she answered.

Jarrod nodded his head and slowly closed his eyes. Victoria looked over at the doctor.

"Jarrod’s unconscious again," the doctor said. "I still can’t tell you that he’s going to pull out of this because I just don’t know. There are some things in his favor. He’s young and strong. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens."

"Dr. Merrar," Victoria stated, "I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for Jarrod. No matter what happens, I will never forget what you have done for my son."

"Thank you Victoria," he said. "I appreciate the comment, but all I want right now is for this young man to completely recover."

Nick left Jarrod’s room and went in search of his father. He found Tom brushing down his horse in the barn. Nick walked up to him and put his arm around his father’s shoulders.

"Father," Nick said, "Jarrod’s going to come out of this. You just wait and see. He’s young and he’s strong."

"I know Nick," Tom told him. "It just hurts inside to see him have to suffer like this. I know it’s tearing your mother up too. We love all you children and we don’t like to see any of you sick. I just wish I could give Jarrod some of my own strength."

"So do I Father," Nick replied. "So do I."

Father and son stood silently together in the barn. They prayed that Jarrod would recover. Then they headed into the house to talk to Gene and Audra.

"Father," Nick asked, "what about Jarrod’s roommate? Are we going to tell him?"

"Yes Nick," Tom answered. "He’s got a right to know. He knows that Jarrod has been sick."

All right Father," Nick replied. "Whatever you think."

"I have something to tell all of you," Tom said. "Your brother, Jarrod, is a very sick boy. He’s come down with a very high fever and he has another bad infection. The doctor is with him now. The news is not good I’m afraid."

"Father," Gene, asked, "what do you mean its not good news?"

"Gene," Tom said, trying to hide the tears that were trying to slide down his face, "your brother could die."

"No!" Audra shouted. "No! Not Jarrod! Please not my brother!"

She ran out of the room screaming and crying. Nick went after her. Tom turned his attention back to Gene and Brett.

"Brett," Tom said, "I’m so sorry about this. I don’t mean to ignore you."

"No problem Mr. Barkley," Brett told him. "You have to take care of your family. What happened? Jarrod seemed all right yesterday. What went wrong?"

"The doctor said that he had had this infection for at least a month," Tom replied. "Jarrod studying so hard and being under so much pressure with exams must have made it worse. It is a very serious infection. The doctor cannot get the fever down. Dr. Merrar said that as long as the fever stays high, the infection is still ravaging his body. His body cannot fight as hard as it did earlier."

"Father," Gene said, "don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You go on and be with Jarrod. He needs you more. Just tell him that I love him and to get better."

"Thank you son," Tom said and patted Gene on the shoulder.

"Yes, I feel the same way Mr. Barkley," Brett told him. "Your presence is required with your son. I’ll be fine."

"Thank you Brett," Tom replied. "You’re a fine young man."

Tom rose from his chair and headed toward Jarrod’s room. As he entered the darkened room, he saw his wife sitting by Jarrod’s bedside rubbing his forehead with a damp cloth. As he got closer, he could see that she had been crying. He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him and shook her head. Tom then looked down at his son. Jarrod was still burning up. The doctor looked at Tom and shook his head. Tears began to flow down his face and he didn’t try to stop them.

Nick had found Audra. She was sitting in the library holding one of Jarrod’s favorite books. He sat down beside her and put his arm around her. She finally laid her head on his chest.

"Audra," Nick said, "don’t cry. Everything is going to be all right. Jarrod’s a strong boy. He’s going to get better."

"Nick," Audra asked, "do you really think so. I love Jarrod so much. I can’t think of him not being here anymore."

"Audra," Nick told her, "Jarrod’s not going to die. He’s too stubborn for that."

Nick held his sister and tried to tell himself that his brother would be all right. But it wasn’t working. Finally, he couldn’t stand it any more and headed upstairs to Jarrod’s room. When Nick walked into the room, he noticed that both of his parents had been crying. Tom and Victoria looked up when their second son walked into the room. Tom shook his head at Nick.

"No!" Nick shouted. "I won’t let my brother die!"

Nick ran to the side of the bed and took Jarrod’s hand in his.

"Jarrod Thomas Barkley," he said, "you listen to me. You are not going to die. You are going to get well and return to college to become a lawyer. Do you hear me Jarrod?"

Tom and Victoria had been watching Jarrod while Nick was talking to him. They both thought they saw some movement with Jarrod’s eyes and mouth. But they weren’t sure. They kept watching their son and sure enough he was trying to say something.

"Nick," Jarrod said in a whisper, "don’t worry little brother. I’m going to be fine."

Jarrod even smiled. He opened his eyes slightly and looked at his brother. He even grasped his brother’s hand.

"Jarrod!" Nick shouted. "You’re awake!"

"Yes Nick," Jarrod said, still in a whisper. "You don’t have to yell."

The doctor quickly bent over his young patient and began to examine him. When he stood up he had a smile on his face.

"The fever is down a little," he said. "Jarrod will have to stay quiet and rest. I believe that he may come out of this. It’s up to him now."

Tom and Victoria smiled and hugged each other. They looked over at Jarrod. He was still awfully sweaty and red faced but he was alive and even had a slight smile on his face.

"Doctor," Victoria said, "thank you for giving our son back to us. You are wonderful."

"It wasn’t me Victoria," he replied. "Something inside Jarrod won’t let him die. Your son is a strong willed boy."

"Yes," Tom answered. "We know that now. Thanks Doctor."

"It was all your son," he answered.

"Father," Jarrod said weakly, "why don’t you and mother go get some rest. I’ll be all right."

"Jarrod," Victoria said, "you nearly died yesterday. I’m not leaving you until I’m positive you’re better."

"The same goes for me big brother," Nick told him.

"All right," Jarrod replied.

Jarrod’s eyelids became heavy and he slowly closed his eyes. Victoria watched her son carefully. Jarrod’s breathing was steadier and he was sleeping. Tom also looked closely at his son.

Thank you for bringing my boy back to me, he prayed silently. He’s got his whole life in front of him.

Tom and Nick left Jarrod’s room to rest. Victoria refused to leave. However, she did lean back in the chair and close her eyes.

Thank you Lord, she prayed silently. You brought my son back to me. Thank you so much.

"Jarrod’s improving," he told Tom and Victoria. "He still has a fever because of the infection but he’s definitely improving."

"That’s great news Doctor," Tom told him. "How long will he be confined to the bed?"

"At least several more days," Merrar answered. "His body has been through a traumatic experience and it will take some time before it is back to normal. Don’t worry. This time I believe he is going to be all right."

"Doctor," Victoria asked, "what caused the infection and high fever?"

"That knife wound again," the doctor answered. "Somehow, that wound doesn’t want to heal completely. The medicine I left with you is hopefully to see that the wound doesn’t get infected again."

"Thanks again Doctor," Tom said.

The doctor left and the family went about their business. Tom had some business in Stockton and rode back with the doctor. Nick had chores to do. Gene and Audra played quietly. Brett kept himself busy looking over the beautiful ranch. Victoria, though, refused to leave Jarrod’s side. She kept a constant vigil by the bed until Jarrod woke up from his healing sleep.

"Mother," he said, "what are you still doing here?"

"Jarrod," she replied, "I’m just sitting with you."

"You look so tired," he told her. "Why don’t you go get some rest?"

"I’m fine son," she said. "I’ll stay right here."

"But mother," he replied, "I’m fine."

"Jarrod," she said, "I’m not leaving and that’s final."

Tom returned from Stockton late that evening. The first thing he did when he went into the house was walk up to check on Jarrod. When Tom entered, Jarrod’s bedroom, he saw his wife still sitting beside the bed. Jarrod’s eyes were closed but when he heard his father, he opened them. Jarrod’s face was still red and sweaty.

"Jarrod," Tom asked, "how are you feeling son?"

"I’m sore, weak and tired," he answered. "I’ve been trying to get mother to go lie down and rest. But she won’t leave."

"Jarrod," Tom said, "she has been very worried about you. Yesterday, you almost died. She’s not about to let you out of her sight until she’s sure you’re better."

"That’s right Jarrod," Victoria replied. "I almost lost you once, I’m not about to lose you again."

"Yes mother," Jarrod said.

"Jarrod," Victoria asked, "do you think you could eat something?"

"I’m not really hungry mother," he told her.

"I’ll have Silas fix you some broth," she replied.

Victoria exited the room to talk to Silas. Tom sat down in the chair and looked at his son.

"Jarrod," he said, "you have to understand how your mother feels. She loves and cares about you. To her, you’re always going to be her little boy. Do you understand what I’m saying son?"

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered.

"Your mother is one of a kind," Tom said and smiled. "She cares deeply about all of her children. She hates to see any of you sick."

"Father," Jarrod replied, "I’m sorry I’ve caused you and mother so much trouble. I didn’t realize it was going to take this long."

"Son," Tom said, "it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for this. You were just doing your duty."

Every time Tom thought about Julia Saxon, he wanted to scream. How dare that woman hurt his son.

"Father," Jarrod asked, "are you all right?"

"Yes son," Tom answered. "I’m fine. You get some rest. We’ll talk later."

"Yes sir," Jarrod said and closed his eyes.

Tom left Jarrod’s room and met Victoria in the hallway.

"Jarrod’s gone back to sleep," Tom told her.

"He needs plenty of rest," she remarked. "He can eat some broth later."

Victoria started to walk toward Jarrod’s room.

"Victoria," Tom said. "Why don’t you go lay down? I can stay with Jarrod."

"No," Victoria answered. "I couldn’t rest. I have to stay with him Tom. I have to be sure myself that he is going to get better. He’s so young to have gone through so much."

"I know," Tom replied. "Our son is strong and he will be a lawyer some day. Don’t you worry about that. Jarrod has wanted to go to college since he was a very small boy."

"Yes I know," Victoria said. "I remember the day he was born. I held this little baby boy in my arms and I thought to myself. He’s going to be a great man some day. And I’m right. He’s is going to be great."

"Victoria," Tom told her, "I also remember the day Jarrod was born. I remember seeing this sweet, little baby in your arms. When I looked into his face, those big blue eyes looked up at me. I knew that very day Jarrod was destined for greatness. He wasn’t going to run the ranch. He was going to be a doctor, lawyer or something like that. That little boy has grown up into a handsome young man. And he’s still destined for greatness."

"Oh Tom," Victoria said, "that’s so beautiful."

Victoria headed back to Jarrod’s room and Tom headed downstairs to the study.

Jarrod finally woke up on the following Monday and made a comment that made his mother smile.

"Mother," Jarrod said as he lay in bed, "I’m hungry."

"Oh Jarrod," Victoria replied, reached over and hugged him. "That’s the best news I’ve heard since you came home. I’ll get you some broth."

She rose from her chair and left his room. Jarrod smiled to himself. He was happy to see his mother smile again. He knew that she had been very worried about him.

Victoria walked downstairs and met Tom coming out of the study.

"Victoria," he said, "you’re smiling."

"Yes Tom," she told him. "Jarrod’s hungry."

Tom smiled when he heard the news.

"That’s wonderful news," he said. "I’ve been waiting to hear good news since that boy first came home from the war. Now he can get better."

"Yes Tom," she told him. "Our son can heal now."

Victoria asked Silas to fix Jarrod some broth. She then headed back up to Jarrod’s room. When she walked inside the room she stopped dead in her tracks. She just stared ahead unable to move. Jarrod was standing up. He was wobbly but he was standing on his own. She quickly went to him and grabbed his arm to steady him. He was grateful to her for the help. She helped him to a nearby chair where he sat down.

"Jarrod," she said, "what are you doing out of bed. It’s too soon honey. You’ve been a sick boy and you need to rest and regain your strength."

"Mother," Jarrod stated, "if I stay in that bed another minute I am going to be sick. I just had to get up even if it was for only a few minutes."

"Jarrod," she told him, "you realize that you are going to have to rest. You are going to go back to bed."

"Please mother," he said, "can’t I sit up for a little while?"

"All right," she relented. "You can sit up and eat your broth. But then it’s back to bed young man. I mean it."

"Yes ma’am," he said and smiled.

Victoria placed a pillow behind his back and put a table close so he could eat after Silas brought up a tray.

"Mr. Jarrod," he said, "it’s good to see you up."

"Thanks Silas," he replied. "It feels good to be up."

Jarrod began to sip his broth and Victoria pulled up a chair.

"Jarrod," she asked him as he ate, "how was your first term at school?"

"It was very hard," he told her. "I had to study very hard. Unlike Brett who just breezed through his classes. I had to cram."

"I see," she said. "That’s probably what contributed to your condition. You were under so much pressure, your system cried out."

"Yes," he replied. "I guess you’re right. Mother, can I go back to school?"

"Jarrod," she told him and took one of his hands in her own, "I can’t answer that now. We’ll have to see how much you improve by the time you are supposed to return to school. If everything works out, I don’t see any problem. But if they don’t, you are looking at next year."

"Oh," Jarrod answered.

Victoria sat with Jarrod until he finished his broth. When she noticed that he was having a hard time keeping his head up and his eyes open, she helped him back into bed. Jarrod laid down on the pillow and went to sleep. Victoria picked up the bowl and carried it downstairs to the kitchen.

"Jarrod," the doctor said, "you’re progressing nicely. You still have to rest and continue to build up your strength. Your body has been through a lot in the last several months and its going to take time for you to regain your strength."

"Yes sir," Jarrod replied, somewhat disappointed that his recovery would take so long.

Seeing Jarrod’s disappointment, Dr. Merrar sat down in the chair close to him and looked him square in the eye.

"Jarrod," he said, "you’re a very lucky young man. You certainly could have died when you were injured in Washington. You certainly could have died when you came home the first time. And you certainly could have died when you came home from school. You have to continue to take it easy or you could still have a lot of problems over the long haul."

That last comment hit Jarrod very hard. He didn’t want to spend his entire adult life sick and unable to do things. So he decided right there that he would have to heed the doctor’s advice or feel the wrath from his mother for disobeying the doctor.

"All right, Dr. Merrar," he said. "I’ll try to take it easy but it won’t be easy to do."

"It’ll work out Jarrod," he replied. "You’ll see that."

Dr. Merrar left but not before giving Victoria some orders about keeping Jarrod quiet.

"Victoria," he told her, "you’re going to have to keep that boy as quiet as possible. I still don’t know about that lung and if he starts doing too much, it could easily collapse. If that happens, well it could mean a lot of problems down the road."

"I’ll do the best that I can doctor," she said. "You know how stubborn Jarrod can be. He’d rather be out showing Brett the ranch than cooped up in the house in bed."

"Just try to keep him down," the doctor replied and left.

Victoria decided to check on Jarrod again. She knew if he got the chance, he would try to sneak off outside and end up hurting himself worse. When she entered his room, Jarrod was still sitting up in the chair. He was lying back with his eyes closed but he was still up.

"Jarrod," she scolded, "get back in that bed this instant."

"But mother," he said when he heard her remark.

"No buts young man," she stated again loudly.

"All right," Jarrod said and slowly walked over to the bed and climbed in.

Victoria tucked the sheets around him and sat down in the chair. Jarrod continuted to look at her with his best sour face. She just ignored his sarcasm and changed the subject.

"Your father said that we have a new colt," Victoria told her son. "It’s brown with a white mane and legs. If you would like to, when you get a little stronger, we can go out and see it."

"That sounds great mother," Jarrod said.

His eyes were beginning to close again. He shook his head to try and stay awake but it didn’t work. He was asleep in no time. Victoria looked down at her young son. She knew that Jarrod was just sleeping but he looked so vulnerable. She kept seeing a little boy of five lying in that bed who had broken his arm when he fell off the horse he was riding. The doctor had set the small arm and put it in splints. She had been there and told the little boy so many stories.

"Jarrod," she whispered, "you are going to get up and be normal again. You are going to ride a horse and walk outside. And most of all, you’re going to make the best lawyer Stockton has ever had. Rest sweetheart. Mother’s right here."

With that, Victoria leaned back in the chair and dozed herself until she heard a grating sound coming from close by. She opened her eyes and tried to figure out where that awful sound was coming from. When she looked down at the bed, her heart sank. That ghastly sound was coming from her son. Jarrod was making that sound because he was having a great deal of trouble being able to catch his breath. Victoria ran to his side. She carefully raised him into a sitting position. The ghastly sound subsided some but Jarrod was still having trouble drawing a good breath. Victoria rubbed his back just like the doctor had showed her and Jarrod’s breathing returned more toward normal. She propped him up on additional pillows and watched him closely. His breathing was returning to normal. She let out a sigh of relief. The doctor had warned her that this could happen if he tried to do too much. She sat back down in the chair and watched her son.

Two hours later, Victoria had dozed off when Tom came into the room. He quietly walked over to the bed and checked on his son. Jarrod was still sleeping. His breath still rattled with the effort it took to draw a breath but he was alive and resting. Tom looked over at his wife who was resting peacefully in the chair. Tom covered her with a blanket and went back downstairs to work.

"Father," Nick said as he met his father coming down the steps, "how’s Jarrod?"

"Resting," Tom answered his son. "He seems to have a little trouble breathing but your mother has propped him up and he’s breathing a little easier."

"That’s good," Nick told his father. "How’s mother?"

"She’s asleep in the chair," he replied. "I covered her with a blanket."

"She needs the rest," Nick said. "She’s been at Jarrod’s side since he came home."

"Yes I know," Tom told him. "I’m still very worried about your brother. He may not be able to return to school."

"Jarrod will," Nick said stubbornly. "I know he will be all right. He’s my brother and I want him to get well."

"I know you do Nick," Tom stated. "But you have to understand something. Your older brother has been a very sick boy. His system cannot take too much more. If he doesn’t start really improving, he could spend the rest of his life being unable to do much. Before you say anything, let me finish. We have to live in reality. Jarrod may never become a lawyer. He may never ride a horse or walk or do anything he used to. All he may be able to do is just sit and take it easy."

"Father," Nick said, "you can’t mean that."

"I’m just saying that it is a possibility that we have to consider," Tom replied. "Dr. Merrar said that Jarrod’s heart might be damaged by all of this and he might suffer a heart attack."

"At his age," Nick remarked with anger in his voice.

"Yes," Tom replied. "At his young age. I just want you to know what might happen. Now Jarrod could come back from this without any damage. I don’t know and neither does the doctor. We’ll have to wait and see. So, what I want you to do is when you are talking to your brother, don’t mention school, or chores, anything that could upset him and cause him any more pain. Do you understand Nick?"

"Yes sir," he answered. "I won’t. Is it all right if I go up and sit with him?"

"I don’t see why not," Tom answered. "Don’t wake your mother."

"I won’t," Nick said and headed upstairs to Jarrod’s room.

As Nick walked into his brother’s room, he remembered what his father had said. Jarrod was propped up on several pillows. His breathing was still rough sounding. Nick winced every time he heard Jarrod take a breath. But he made up his mind that he was going to help Jarrod all he could. He sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed. He reached over and took Jarrod’s hand in his. His brother’s hand was so small in his. He held onto it tightly. Jarrod moaned once or twice but didn’t open his eyes. Nick sat there and didn’t move until his brother opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Nick," Jarrod wheezed, "how long have you been here?"

"Not too long," Nick replied.

He was still having a hard time listening to Jarrod’s hard breathing. But he put a smile on his face.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asked.

"Not too bad," Jarrod replied. "Not too good either. I can’t seem to catch my breath."

"Just rest," Nick told him.

Jarrod laid his head back and his breathing eased a little. Jarrod finally closed his eyes. Nick knew he was hurting and wished he could do something to help his brother. But he knew there was nothing he could do. So he continued to sit with Jarrod.

"Dr. Merrar," Tom said, "we weren’t expecting you for another day or two."

"I know Tom," he answered. "But I have made a startling discovery."

"Please come in," Tom told him.

Dr. Merrar entered the house and went straight upstairs to Jarrod’s room with Tom right behind him. When he walked into Jarrod’s room, Victoria looked up.

"Doctor," she asked, "is there anything wrong?"

"No Victoria," he replied. "Everything is going to be all right."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

"Tom," he said, "Victoria, I have discovered why Jarrod can’t seem to get better."

"That’s wonderful doctor," she told him.

"It is and it isn’t," the doctor replied.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Tom asked.

"Let me start from the beginning," the doctor stated.

Both Tom and Victoria stood by quietly while Dr. Merrar explained his discovery to them.

"Jarrod was stabbed in Washington over a year ago," he began. "The doctor there thought he had Jarrod all patched up. Yet when Jarrod returned home from the war, the problem persisted. I had to operate twice to save him. Then I thought I had him well until he returned home from school with another problem. The other day I took a sample of Jarrod’s blood. I had heard that a doctor in Washington had discovered that several of the weapons used during the war were dipped in a substance that would continue to fester and cause the recipient lots of suffering. I found an unknown substance in Jarrod’s blood. I sent a sample of it to the doctor in Washington. If it is that substance, he can be treated and relieved of all this suffering."

"Oh doctor," Victoria said, "that’s wonderful."

"It is and it isn’t," the doctor said. "You see if it is something that continues to cause pain, he can be helped. But I don’t know that for sure. Like I said, I’ve sent a sample of blood to this man and I am awaiting word on what can be done to help Jarrod. The problem is that Jarrod’s suffered so much all ready. I don’t know if this will cause any permanent damage to Jarrod. He could have heart problems when he is older or breathing problems. I just don’t know."

Tom exploded.

"Why those mean son of guns!" he swore. "How dare them hurt my son like this! If I ever get my hand on those!"

"Tom," Victoria coaxed, "calm down. You won’t be any good to Jarrod if you suffer a heart attack because you are so angry."

"I know Victoria," he said. "But the thoughts of someone making my son hurt on purpose makes me so angry."

"I know how you feel Tom," the doctor replied. "But anger won’t help Jarrod get better. Only time and medicine will do that. I feel like once we get this isolated, we can treat him and he will be able to return to college."

"All right Dr. Merrar," Tom said more calmly. "For Jarrod’s sake, I’ll try to keep calm. But if I ever get my hands on whoever is responsible, I’ll..."

"Tom," Victoria told him, "please calm down."

"Now," the doctor stated, "what I want you to do is keep Jarrod as quiet as possible. When his breathing becomes erratic, prop him up. Don’t and I repeat don’t let him do anything strenuous. That’s how this stuff works. It stays doormat until the patient tries to do too much, then it shoots more into their bloodstreams that attack the wound over and over again. Keep him as quiet as possible until I am able to receive word back from this doctor on how to treat it."

"All right doctor," Victoria said. "We’ll keep Jarrod as quiet as possible. But do we tell him about this?"

"No," the doctor told her. "If you tell him, it will agitate him and make the pain worse. For now keep it quiet. When Jarrod recovers enough, then we can tell him."

"All right," Tom answered.

The doctor left the ranch. Tom and Victoria looked at each other and then down at their oldest son. Nick walked into the room at that very moment and when he saw his parents’ faces, he wanted to know what was wrong.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

"Nick," Tom said, "we know what’s causing your brother to suffer like this."

"You do," Nick replied. "That’s wonderful."

"No son," Tom told him, "it’s not. You see Nick, the doctor said that a foreign substance was on the weapon that hurt your brother in Washington. This substance would lay doormat until Jarrod would begin to do more. Then it would flare up again. Dr. Merrar has contacted a doctor in Washington that has worked with cases like this. He’s awaiting word on what treatment can be given to Jarrod."

"Are you telling me someone deliberately hurt Jarrod to make him suffer over and over?" Nick asked, getting angrier at every word.

"Yes," Tom answered. "But we can’t tell Jarrod about it. The strain of him finding out could cause another spell. He has to be kept quiet until the doctor can help him."

Nick was furious. He was trying to contain his anger but he couldn’t. About that time, Jarrod opened his eyes and looked around. He saw the faces of his family and asked why they were so upset.

"What’s wrong?" he asked weakly.

"Nothing son," Tom said very gently. "Nothing for you to worry about. You just rest."

"No!" Jarrod said, upset. "I want to know!"

About that time, he had another spell of erratic breathing and had to try and catch his breath. He was also in some pain. Victoria sat down on the bed and helped prop Jarrod up so his breathing would ease. After several minutes, Jarrod began to breathe more normally again.

"Jarrod," she said very calmly, "listen to me. You have to stay calm. When you get upset, you start having trouble breathing and pain. You have to stay calm. Do you understand?"

Jarrod nodded his head. He still didn’t understand why this was happening to him but he decided to do what his mother wanted. But soon, he would find out what was going on. That he promised himself.

"How’s my patient today?" he asked Victoria.

"Resting, doctor," she answered.

"Any problems?" he asked.

"Jarrod can’t seem to stay calm," she replied. "He sees us trying to hide the truth from him and when he asks us, we don’t tell him what he wants to know. Then he gets upset and he begins to hurt and has trouble breathing."

"I suspected as much," he told her. "I still don’t want to tell him and make him any more upset than he already is. Unfortunately, I’ve not received a reply back from Washington."

"How long will it take?" she asked.

"I don’t know," the doctor said. "I’ll let you know when I hear."

The doctor walked upstairs to Jarrod’s room. As he entered, Jarrod looked over and smiled.

"How are you feeling Jarrod?" he asked.

"I’ll do," Jarrod answered. "What’s happening doctor? No one will tell me what’s going on. I need to know. I can’t stand this!"

Jarrod gripped his chest again and his breathing became worse. The doctor eased him up on some pillows. Jarrod finally relaxed.

"Jarrod," he said, "I want you to listen to me very carefully. You cannot get upset. Every time you do, you have an attack of pain and breathing problems. I can’t tell you the reason behind them right now. You’ll just have to trust me. Will you do that Jarrod?"

"All right Dr. Merrar," he said weakly. "But promise me that you will tell me the rest soon."

"I will son," he answered. "Soon. Real soon."

The doctor left and Jarrod tried to stay as calm as he could. He knew something was behind this and he had a feeling it stemmed from the time he spent in Washington. But he wasn’t sure. He began to think about the time he could return to school and get on with his life.

Dr. Merrar was ecstatic. He rode out to the ranch to talk to Tom and Victoria.

"Dr. Merrar," Tom said, "any word?"

"Yes Tom," he answered. "Dr. Moyers will arrive here on the 20^th. He said that it is the same substance. He thinks he can help Jarrod."

"Great doctor," Victoria said.

"One thing though," he told them. "It is going to be a long process. Jarrod is going to have to undergo another operation to repair this. The doctor will make an incision near the wound and insert a tube into his bloodstream closet to the wound itself. Then he will let the medicine flow through the tube. Jarrod will be under for at least four or five hours. I just hope that he can survive that."

"He’s a strong boy doctor," Tom said.

"I know that Tom," the doctor stated. "But he’s been through so much. I don’t know how his system is going to react. We’ll have to wait and see. One other thing, the medicine is very strong and he could have some kind of reaction to it."

"What do you mean some kind of reaction to the medicine?" Victoria asked.

"I mean that the medicine that Dr. Moyers is bringing with him to help cure Jarrod’s continuous suffering because of that substance could cause him to be even sicker," the doctor told them. "Plus I don’t know how he is going to do being put to sleep while he is so weak. It’s a big risk for him. I wanted both of you to know that before the doctor gets here."

"Dr. Merrar," Tom said, "Jarrod’s in so much pain now. Can we afford to wait?"

"No," he answered. "If we wait, the boy’s going to get even weaker and this will eventually kill him. I would suggest going ahead with the procedure. It’s a high risk whatever you decide to do."

"Can we think about it?" Victoria asked.

"Certainly," he replied. "Dr. Moyers won’t be here until the 20^th. You can make up your minds and let us know then."

"Thank you," Tom said. "We’ll let you know."

The doctor left the ranch. Tom and Victoria looked down at their oldest son. He was resting now but if he got the least bit agitated or upset, he would suffer again.

"Tom," she asked quietly, "what are we going to do?"

"Jarrod won’t get well like this," he answered. "I say we go ahead with this procedure and hope that it helps him."

"But you heard the doctor," Victoria replied. "He said that Jarrod could die with this procedure."

"He also said that he would eventually die without it," Tom told her.

"All right," she finally relented. "I don’t see that we have much choice. But I think the time has come to tell Jarrod the truth about his illness."

"I think you’re right," Tom agreed. "Let’s tell him."

They walked over to the bed. Tom sat down on one side and Victoria sat on the other. Victoria shook Jarrod’s shoulders easily so not to hurt him.

"Jarrod," she said, "it’s mother. Wake up honey."

Jarrod slowly opened his eyes and looked up at his mother. When he saw her face, he became upset.

"Easy son," Tom said, "don’t get upset. We have something to tell you. The doctor knows why you can’t get well."

Jarrod looked at his father with anger in his eyes. His breathing became erratic and he clutched at his shirt. Tom propped him up and let him rest for a moment before he continued.

"Listen to me," Tom told him. "Stay calm. You have a foreign substance in your body that keeps making you sick. When you were injured in Washington by that knife, it was on the blade. That’s why when you came home, you had to be operated on. It keeps acting like a germ and causing the wounds to not be able to heal. Do you understand what I’m saying Jarrod?"

Jarrod nodded but didn’t speak. His father continued.

"Dr. Merrar has contacted a doctor in Washington, a Dr. Moyers who will be coming out here on the 20^th. He has a procedure that can stop this substance. The problem is that you will have to be put to sleep for four or five hours while the doctor makes a small incision near the wound. He will then put a tube into your chest and pump the medicine in that will fix you right up. The doctor is afraid that you are too weak to take this procedure and you might die."

"Father," Jarrod said between clenched teeth, "I can’t live like this. I want to feel better. Please tell him to do it."

"Jarrod," Victoria asked, "are you sure?"

"Yes," he said again through clenched teeth.

"All right," they agreed.

They left Jarrod to rest and went downstairs to talk to Brett, Gene and Audra.

"I want to talk to you about your brother," Tom began. "The doctor knows what is wrong with him. A foreign substance, that got into his bloodstream when he was injured in Washington, is causing Jarrod to be very sick. Every time the doctor thinks he’s better, when Jarrod gets upset or angry, the substance shoots a powerful dose into the wound which makes it open up again and he gets even sicker. The doctor wired another doctor in Washington who has a way to help Jarrod. The problem is that the procedure is a long one and your brother is so weak. He might not make it through. Jarrod has decided that he wants to try this procedure and we have agreed with him. It will be done on the 20^th. Do you understand what I’m saying?"

Gene and Audra looked at each other and nodded. Brett also nodded.

"Good," Victoria said. "Would you like to see your brother?"
"Yes," Audra answered excitedly.

"All right," she told them. "But one more thing. Please do not make him upset or excited. He will start breathing erratically and that doesn’t help him."

"All right mother," Gene said. "We won’t."

The two of them headed upstairs to their brother’s room. Brett stayed and looked at Jarrod’s parents.

"I wish I could give him some of my strength," he told them. "He’s so young to be in so much pain. I want him to be able to do things normally and enjoy studying to be a lawyer. Your son is a wonderful person and he deserves the best."

"Thank you Brett," Tom said. "That really means a lot. Go on. Go talk to Jarrod."

Brett headed up to Jarrod’s room. When he arrived at the door, he saw that Gene and Audra were sitting on the bed with their brother. He decided to let them have some time alone with their brother. He waited patiently outside the door.

"Jarrod," Gene said, "when you get to feeling better, "we can show you the new colt."

"That’s right," Audra agreed with her brother. "He’s so pretty. You’ll love him when you see him. We named him Seneca."

"I like that name," Jarrod replied weakly.

"Well, we won’t tire you out," Gene told him. "Get better big brother. We love you."

"Thanks," Jarrod said. "I will."

They left the room and Brett walked in. He hesitated before walking over to the bed. He looked down at his roommate and was shocked by what he saw. Jarrod’s eyes had dark circles under them. He was wheezing when he breathed and his face contorted in pain when he tried to take a deep breath. Brett steadied himself and then spoke.

"Jarrod," he said, "I hope you are feeling better."

"Oh," Jarrod replied, "I’ll do. How are you? I didn’t mean to ignore you Brett. But I didn’t have much choice in the matter."

"No problem," he told him. "I’ve had a wonderful time. Your brother, Gene, has showed me around the ranch and kept me busy. I must admit you have a beautiful home Jarrod."

"Thanks Brett," Jarrod said. "I just wish I could be out there with you."

"You will," he replied. "The doctor will fix you up and we can head back to school and check out the city for girls."
"Is that all you think about?" Jarrod asked.

"No," he answered. "But you have to admit, the city has got some awfully pretty ones."

"Well," Jarrod said, "I hadn’t noticed."

"You will," he stated. "You will."

Brett left Jarrod so he could rest and walked back downstairs. He was still visibly shaken by Jarrod’s appearance. Tom saw his face and walked over to put an arm around him.

"Brett," he said, "it’s all right. I hurt too when I see my son in that condition. Jarrod has always been such an active boy. To watch him hurting while he lies in that bed is killing his mother and me. But soon he will be all right. Have faith in this doctor. He will have Jarrod up real soon."

"I hope so Mr. Barkley," Brett replied.

"Jarrod," Moyers said, "I’m Dr. Moyers. I hope that I am going to be able to help you. Let’s take a look at what we’ve got."

Moyers examined Jarrod thoroughly before talking to Jarrod and his parents. When he was finished, he looked at the young man.

"Now," he said, "what I want to do is tell what is happening. A virus caused by a substance on the weapon you were attacked with has invaded your system. This virus attacks an area that is weak. In your case, it’s your chest. It continues to invade and prevent natural healing from taking place. What I am going to do is inject another germ into your system, which will attack this virus and neutralize it. The procedure will take between four to five hours. I have decided to put you under because of your weakened condition. If you stay awake, the pain could be too much for you. When you wake up you’ll be a different person."

"I understand sir," Jarrod replied weakly. "Is there any risk to this?"

"I am afraid there is," Moyers answered. "Your system is so weak that this procedure could damage you or even kill you. But I don’t really see a choice. Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes," Jarrod said.

"Good," he told him. "Your parents can wait out in the hall. Dr. Merrar if you will put Jarrod to sleep."

Tom and Victoria left the room. Nick joined them out in the hall. They told him what was going to happen. He wasn’t happy about it but he agreed that it was the best thing to do.

Inside Jarrod’s room, Dr. Merrar placed chloroform over Jarrod’s face. Jarrod went under and Dr. Moyers began. First, he unbuttoned Jarrod’s shirt and laid it open so he could operate. He made a two-inch incision in Jarrod’s chest near where he was operated on. He placed the tube inside and connected it to a bottle of liquid. He hung the bottle up on a hanger he had brought with him. He watched the liquid ease down into Jarrod’s system. It was a very slow process. The two doctors kept heir eyes on their young patient. Several times during the procedure Jarrod would grunt and try to move. Dr. Merrar would hold him down and give him some laudanum for the pain and discomfort that Jarrod was feeling.

"Ah," Jarrod mumbled. "Oh it hurts."

"Jarrod," Dr. Merrar said, "don’t move son. I’m going to give you some laudanum."

After taking over four and half-hours, the bottle was finally empty. Dr. Moyers removed the tube and sewed up the incision. He buttoned Jarrod’s shirt back up. Then he and Dr. Merrar went out to talk to the Barkleys.

"Well," he said as he walked out into the hall, "it’s over. Now we wait. Your son did very well during the procedure. He woke up several times but the doctor gave him something for the pain. He’ll sleep for several hours."

"Will he be all right?" Victoria asked.

"If everything went as planned inside your son’s system, he should. But his recovery will be slow. You see his system has had this virus in it for nearly two years. There may be permanent damage. I won’t know until Jarrod wakes up and that won’t be for the rest of the night. Why don’t you get some rest. If there is any change, I’ll let you know."

"All right," Tom replied.

The three of them-headed downstairs to wait and the two doctors reentered Jarrod’s room. The two doctors stayed by their young patient’s bedside all night long. Jarrod didn’t move or make any noise. He was alive but he was still unconscious.

Tom, Victoria and Nick sat up in the parlor all night. None of them could sleep. They were too worried about Jarrod.

"Tom," she asked, "do you think Jarrod will be all right?"

"I don’t know," he answered. "I certainly hope so."

"I know that my big brother is still with us," Nick replied. "I also know that he is a fighter and he’s not going to let any virus get the best of him. You just watch and see."

"I know son," Tom agreed. "Your brother is a fighter and this is the toughest battle he’s ever had to wage. If anyone can come back from this, Jarrod can."

"I love him Tom," Victoria said. "I want him to be well. Please let my son live. Please."

Tom hugged his wife as they awaited word on Jarrod’s condition.

"Jarrod," he said, "can you hear me? Open your eyes. Come on."

Jarrod grunted and moved slightly. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. Finally his eyes settled on Dr. Moyers. Jarrod smiled at him. It was weak but it was a smile.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

Jarrod lay there a minute checking himself. He took a deep breath and relief washed over his face.

"I can breath without hurting Doctor," he said weakly. "My chest still hurts and I am very weak."

"That’s to be expected," Moyers told him. "You have been through a rough time. You won’t bounce back real fast. But you will be all right."

"Thank you," he said.

"You’re very welcome," Moyers replied. "You rest. You need to stay quiet for a few days until you heal."

Jarrod nodded and closed his eyes. He was breathing easy and deep. The worst was over. But now the recovery period would begin. Dr. Merrar stepped out of the room and went downstairs to tell the Barkleys the good news. He walked into the dining room where everyone was and smiled.

"Jarrod woke up," he told them. "His erratic breathing has eased and he’s able to take a deep breath. He’s going to make it."

"Dr. Merrar," Victoria said and kissed his cheek, "thank you for bringing our son back to us."

"It wasn’t me," he answered. "It was Dr. Moyers. His procedure did the trick. One thing though. Jarrod will not and I repeat will not be able to return to college for this coming term. He is still far too weak to undergo such a hard routine right now. He will be able to start back next summer or fall."

"No problem Doc," Brett said. "I can get all his work from the professors after I explain what happened. I don’t think he will have to make up this term. He can do it all right here at the ranch. I’ll be the errand boy and make sure that his work gets to school."

"Thank you Brett," Tom replied. "That’s so kind of you. You are a nice boy and Jarrod is certainly lucky to have you for a friend."

"Can we see him Doctor?" Victoria asked.

"No," he answered. "He needs to rest. I would say you could see him later today after he sleeps several more hours. But don’t worry, he’s going to be fine."

"Thanks again," Tom said.

The doctor returned to Jarrod’s room. He and Dr. Moyers kept a close eye on Jarrod and his condition.

By late that afternoon, the Barkley family was allowed to see Jarrod but only for a few minutes. He still needed plenty of rest.

"Jarrod," his mother said, "how do you feel?"

"I can breath better," he replied. "But I’m awfully weak."

"That’s to be expected honey," she told him. "Your body has to regain its strength. You rest and we’ll see you later."

Jarrod nodded at her.

"Jarrod," Tom said, "it’s good to have you back. You rest."

"Yeah, big brother," Nick told him. "I’ll see you afterwhile."

"We will too," Gene and Audra said and smiled at their brother.

"Jarrod," Brett remarked, "the doctor said you can’t return to school for the next term. So I’m going to talk to the professors and see if they will allow you to study from here. I can make sure your work gets turned in."

"Thanks Brett," Jarrod said weakly. "I don’t know how to repay you."

"Don’t worry about it," Brett told him. "Now you rest. We’ll talk later.

The family left Jarrod’s room. Dr. Moyers sat with Jarrod while he slept. Dr. Merrar came out with the family and they all went downstairs together.

"Doctor," Victoria, asked, "when do you think Jarrod will be able to get up and stir around?"

"I’m not sure Victoria," he answered. "Your young son has had a very rough time. He has no strength left at all. He had to fight to take a breath. I still don’t know if there will be any permanent damage to Jarrod. Only time will tell. Right now, he needs to be kept very quiet. He just had surgery and the incision needs a chance to heal. He also needs plenty of rest. I would say you’re looking at two weeks possibly longer."

"Doctor," Tom said, "could this have killed him if you hadn’t discovered what was wrong?"

"Yes," the doctor told them. "The continued strain on that lung would have caused him to eventually die. I’m just glad that Dr. Moyers had seen this before and was able to help Jarrod."

"By all means," Victoria replied. "Thank you so much for you’ve done and thank Dr. Moyers for saving our oldest son."

"The same goes for me," Tom agreed. "He’s given us our boy back. I never realized how much I really care about my children until I was faced with the fact that I could lose one of them."

"Tom," the doctor said, "you are a lucky man to have such a caring family like this. Jarrod fought so hard because of the love that this family showed him. Someone else would have possibly given up."

"Well it’s over now and we can look forward to the future with all our children," Victoria stated.

On January 5, 1866, Brett bid the Barkley family goodbye and headed back to school. He promised to speak to the professors and have Jarrod’s work sent to the ranch. Jarrod was disappointed that he couldn’t go with Brett.

"Jarrod," Brett said, "now don’t you worry. I’ll talk to the professors and we’ll keep you busy studying while you’re laid up."

"Thanks for all you help Brett," Jarrod told him.

"See you soon," Brett replied.

"Yeah," Jarrod said. "Take care Brett."

Brett left that afternoon by train for San Francisco.

On January 13, 1866, Jarrod was allowed to sit up. He couldn’t walk very well because he had been flat of his back for over a month and possibly damage down from that virus. Tom assisted him to the chair close to his bed. Jarrod could barely hold his head up. His muscles were so weak. He ended up having to lean his head back against the back of the chair for support.

"Father," Jarrod said after he had moved over to the chair, "I can hardly walk. I am so very weak."

"That’s understandable son," Tom answered his son. "You haven’t been out of bed in over a month. Give it some time. You’ll see the difference in no time."

"I hope so," Jarrod replied. "I really hope so."

Victoria came into the room and was smiling. She saw Jarrod trying to sit up and having a hard time of it. She went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Jarrod," she said, "I see you’re up. That’s a good sign."

"Yeah," he said crossly. "I can’t even hold my head up by myself."

"Now you listen to me young man," she remarked. "You have been sick for over a year. What do you expect? To be able to hop up and run around like nothing happened. I don’t think so. Your body has to regain its strength. Time is the only thing that will accomplish that."

"OK," he replied. "I’m just in a hurry to feel better."

"You already have come a long way in your recovery," she replied. "Listen, maybe in a few days, we can take a walk downstairs and then outside. Wouldn’t you like that?"

"Of course," he shot back at her. "I want my life back the way it used to be. I want to go to school and be normal."

"You will," she told him. "It will take time. A lot of time. Please be patient. You’re going to have to take this one step at a time. I remember when you were five years old and you fell and broke your arm. You never thought you would get that cast off, but you made it through. Your cast was removed and you had to learn to use your hand again. It was frustrating at first, but you never gave up. Are you going to give up now?"
"No!" he said loudly. "I’m going to beat this!"

"That’s my son," she replied. "You rest and we’ll talk later. Do you want to lie back down?"

"No," he answered. "I can rest here in the chair."

"All right," she told him. "I have to talk to Silas. You sit right here. Don’t try to get up by yourself."

"I won’t," he replied.

Victoria left the room and Jarrod was left all alone. He thought about Brett being back at school and Matt still in Washington and wished he could be with them. Slowly, he put his feet flat on the floor. He put both of his hands on the arms of the chair. He pushed up with all of his might. He stood up. He began to sway. He tried to put one foot in front of the other one and walk but his legs were so stiff and his right leg wouldn’t work at all. He pitched forward and fell to the floor. He hit his mouth on the bedpost and split it open. He heard running feet coming up the stairs. Tom and Nick ran into the room followed by Victoria. They rushed over to Jarrod who was lying on the floor. His mouth was bleeding where his lip had hit. Victoria grabbed a towel and held it to Jarrod’s lower lip. Tom picked his son up and carried him to the bed. He gently laid him on the bed.

"Jarrod Thomas Barkley," he said with an authoritative voice, "what are you trying to do?"

"I was trying to walk to the bed," he mumbled with the towel on his lip. "I couldn’t get my legs to work. I pitched forward and hit my mouth on the bed post."

"I told you not to get up by yourself," his mother admonished. "You’re not ready to try walking on your own. You could have broken your neck."

"I’m sorry Mother," he replied.

"Let’s see if we can get this lip cleaned up," she told him. "You may have to have stitches."

Victoria cleaned the wound on Jarrod’s lower lip. Fortunately, it wasn’t a deep cut. She applied some medicine to it. Then she looked at her stubborn son.

"Jarrod," she said loudly, "don’t you ever do that again! If you need to get up, one of us will help you until you can walk on your own. Do you understand me young man?"

Jarrod looked sheepishly at his mother.

"Yes Mother," he replied.

"Good," she said. "Now you rest and do not and I repeat do not get out of that bed. Do you understand?"

"Yes," he replied.

She left the room but Nick stayed. Nick sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"Boy did you raise her ire," he said. "You better listen to her big brother. She can still whip both of us if she has a mind to."

"Yeah," Jarrod replied. "I sure did make her angry."

"You said that right," he told him. "You better tread easy boy. She can be a wildcat if she has to."

"Believe me, I know," Jarrod answered his brother. "So how are things going with you?"

"All right," Nick replied. "That new colt is growing and before too long, he’ll be ready to ride."

"I wish I could see him," Jarrod said.

"You will," Nick told him. "Just give it a few days. I’ll take you out there and let you see him."

"Thanks Nick," Jarrod said.

"No problem big brother," he replied.

The two brothers talked for several hours. Jarrod started to fall asleep and Nick told him he’d go. Jarrod begged Nick to stay.

"Jarrod," Nick said, "I’ll go and let you rest."

"Please Nick don’t go," Jarrod replied. "I want you to stay. I promise I won’t fall asleep."

"OK," Nick told him.

Nick sat there until Jarrod dozed off. Then he left his brother to rest and walked downstairs. Tom saw Nick coming down the stairs and walked over to him.

"How’s your brother since Victoria gave him a hard time about trying to walk on his own?" Tom asked.

"Jarrod’s sorry," Nick answered. "Real sorry. He just wanted to prove something to himself."

"Nick," Tom said, "come here and sit down."

They walked into the parlor and sat down.

"Nick," Tom replied, "your brother has been sick with this poison for nearly two years. No one knew what kept causing him to get sick. When we learned about this germ, Dr. Merrar contacted a doctor in Washington for help. Dr. Moyers was able to counteract the virus with another one. Jarrod’s lungs are still not very strong. You remember one kept trying to collapse. His muscles are very weak too. Jarrod is going to have to learn how to crawl before he walks. He’s going to have to learn how to do things all over again. He’s going to get aggravated when he can’t do something but we can’t let him give up. Our own nerves are going to be tested. We are going to have to watch him struggle to do simple things like walk, feed himself, hold his head up, etc. Do you understand where I’m going?"

"Yes sir," Nick told him. "What you’re saying is that Mother got angry with Jarrod because he hadn’t learned to crawl yet. When he fell and busted his lower lip, she was scared that the next time he could hurt himself worse."

"That’s right," Tom remarked. "We have to be strong for Jarrod. We have to show him that he can do things that he thinks right now are impossible. He can’t give up. Hopefully, in several more months, he’ll be back to his normal self. I don’t know. The doctors don’t know how much if any damage was done from this virus."

"I understand Father," Nick said. "Jarrod will do it. You just watch."

Nick got up and walked outside. He knew in his heart what a long road Jarrod would have to travel to be the same boy who just five years ago was riding, walking, running and cutting up. But he knew he would never let Jarrod feel sorry for himself.

"Jarrod," he said, "are you ready to try to walk by yourself?"

"I...uh...I guess so," Jarrod replied.

"It’s all right," the doctor told him. "Everyone’s scared at first. The first thing you need to do is stand up."

Nick, who was sitting in a chair in the room, looked at his brother with encouragement. Jarrod smiled at him. Then he placed both of his feet firmly on the floor. He grabbed a hold of the arms of the chair and pushed with all his might. He finally got to a standing position. He was completely out of breath.

"Now Jarrod," the doctor said, "walk toward me."

Jarrod tried to move his right leg. It barely slid an inch. He was able to pick up his left foot while trying to keep his balance. He kept sliding his right and then picking up the left. By the time he had gotten to the doctor, he was completely exhausted. The doctor helped him to the chair.

"Jarrod," he said, "that was very good for the first time in months. You keep trying but always have someone here when you try in case you fall."

"Yes Dr. Merrar," Jarrod answered.

"Now," he told Nick and Jarrod, "what I want you to do is keep working with Jarrod. He needs to work hard. It won’t be easy but over time, he’ll slowly begin to return to normal."

"All right Doc," Nick replied. "Don’t worry. I won’t let him feel sorry for himself. Jarrod will be up walking normally real soon."

The doctor walked downstairs as Tom and Victoria was starting to go up.

"Tom," he said, "Victoria. Jarrod made some progress. He managed to shuffle over to me but he was completely exhausted. That is normal. He’s going to have it rough until he can walk normally again. Nick is going to work with him. I’d also like you two to help. Don’t let him give up. That’s very important. If Jarrod ever gives up, he will never do anything again."

"We understand," Tom answered.

"Good," the doctor told them. "I will be back at the end of the week to see how Jarrod is progressing."

With that the doctor left. Tom and Victoria headed up to Jarrod’s room. When they walked in, they stopped. Jarrod was standing and trying to walk to Nick. He couldn’t get his right leg to obey him as well as the left leg. He was getting angry.

"Nick," Jarrod spat, "I can’t! My right leg won’t work! I can’t!"

"Yes you can Jarrod," Nick told him. "You have to try."

"No!" Jarrod screamed and stopped trying to move.

He was completely out of breath and he was panting.

"Jarrod," Nick coaxed, "come on. You can do it."

"Stop telling me I can do it!" he yelled at his brother.

Tom had heard enough and walked over to his oldest son. He grabbed Jarrod by both his arms and held him tightly. He made Jarrod look at his face.

"Jarrod," Tom said, "don’t ever let me hear you yell at your brother again. He’s just trying to help you. You are the one that has to do this or be an invalid for the rest of your life. Nick loves you and will do anything for you. But he doesn’t have to listen to your tirades. Do you understand me Jarrod Thomas Barkley?"

Jarrod just looked at his father with a stunned expression on his face.

"Jarrod," Tom replied, "did you hear what I said?"

"Yes...uh...yes sir," Jarrod finally got out.

"Now," Tom told him, "you apologize to your brother right now."

"I’m sorry Nick," Jarrod replied. "I didn’t mean to yell."

"No problem big brother," Nick answered.

"Nick," Tom said, "would you excuse us a moment?"

"Certainly," Nick answered and walked out of the room followed by his mother.

Once outside, Victoria put her arm around Nick’s shoulder.

"Nick," she said, "don’t be angry with your brother or your father. Tom doesn’t appreciate yelling in the house by anyone. Your brother is just hurting and so discouraged because he is limited in what he can and cannot do. When he is better, everything will be better."

"I’m not angry with Jarrod," Nick told her. "I know he’s been sick and hurt. He’s just like a baby. He has to learn to do things all over again. I just wish Father wouldn’t get so mad at him."

"Your father is not mad at Jarrod," she stated. "He loves all his children. He doesn’t want Jarrod to give up that’s all."

Back in Jarrod’s room, Tom had sat Jarrod down in a chair. Jarrod was completely exhausted. He sat down beside his son and put a hand on Jarrod’s shoulder.

"Jarrod," Tom said, "I know you hurt and I know you’re weak. But you can’t give up. If you give up those mealy-mouthed idiots that caused this have won. Do you want that?"

"No!" Jarrod said sternly. "I won’t let them win. I won’t let her win."

Tom stopped and sat back and thought about what Jarrod had just said. He had been referring to Julia Saxon. He had finally admitted it to himself that Julia Saxon had been the catalyst behind his own illness

"Jarrod," Tom replied slowly, "do you realize what you just said?"

"What?" Jarrod asked completely unaware of what he had just said.

"You blamed Julia Saxon for this son," he told him. "You finally put the blame right where it should be with that woman. You remember you told me that after Matt met Julia he changed?"

"Yes," Jarrod answered.

"All right," Tom replied. "Julia played you and Matt against each other. Matt was in love with her just as deeply as you were. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings so he kept it all bottled up inside. In actuality, what Julia Saxon wanted was information from Matt and he was willing to give it to the woman he loved. When you were injured, her immediate problem was taken care of. You couldn’t warn Matt about what was going on because you were in the infirmary with a knife wound in your chest. After you recovered, did you try to talk to Matt about it?"

"Yes," Jarrod answered. "He wouldn’t believe me about her. I didn’t see too much of her after that."

"That makes sense," Tom stated. "Julia had the information and that’s all she was after from the beginning son. She played you and Matt for fools. When she realized that Matt would give her the information she needed, she decided to ask her cohorts to get rid of you. Maybe she didn’t want you dead but only out of the way. She may not have even known that you would be suffering for nearly two years after that incident. Those men were not soldiers looking to help their side. They were men who were looking for you. They were ordered to dispose of you any way they could. That’s why the substance was on the knife. They knew if you lived, you would suffer continuously for a long time and then it would eventually kill you. But luckily, Dr. Merrar read about Dr. Moyers and what he had found. Dr. Moyers was able to remove the poison from your system and save your life. Now, are you going to let that woman and those men beat you? Are you going to give up the fight to get better and let them win?"

"NO!" Jarrod spat. "I’m not!"

"Good," Tom told him. "Now, let’s try walking again. OK?"

Jarrod nodded and stood up again. He strained with every muscle he had to stand up. Once there he took a deep breath. Then he put his left foot out and then slid his right. He kept trying until he had successfully walked over to his father. Jarrod still couldn’t work his right leg well but he slid it on the floor and Tom hugged his son for the hard work and determination he had shown.

The first day of March 1866, Jarrod Barkley walked outside the house. He was still slow but he was confident. Nick showed him the new colt. The horse was beautiful. Jarrod fell in love with him the first time he saw him. Nick saw the way Jarrod looked at the young horse and decided to talk to his father about it.

"Nick," Jarrod said, "he’s beautiful. He’s the prettiest horse I have ever seen."

"I thought you would like him," Nick replied. "His name is Seneca."

"Seneca," Jarrod repeated and smiled. "It fits him."

Tom walked up to his sons and smiled.

"Well now," he remarked, "I’m so glad to see my oldest son walking outside by himself."

"Thank you Father," Jarrod answered. "Nick was showing me the new horse. He’s beautiful."

"Yes he is," Tom said.

"Jarrod," Nick replied, "I’ll be back in a minute. I want to show father something in the barn."

Tom followed Nick in the barn. When they were well away from Jarrod, Nick turned to look at his father.

"Father," he said, "can we give Seneca to Jarrod?"

"He’s not even saddle broke yet son," Tom replied.

"Well, Jarrod’s not exactly ready to ride a horse either," Nick told him.

"All right," Tom relented. "If that’s what you want to do."

"Yes it is," Nick said. "Jarrod’s face lit up when he saw that horse. He hasn’t smiled that way in a long time. I want to give him something that will make him happy. He deserves it."

"All right," Tom replied. "Go ahead."

Nick walked back out of the barn. Jarrod had not left the corral where the horse was. Nick walked over to stand beside his brother.

"Jarrod," he said, "Seneca is yours."

Jarrod was stunned. He just stared at his brother.

"Did you hear me big brother?" Nick asked.

"Yes," Jarrod finally answered. "Thank you Nick. Thank you so much."

"You’re welcome big brother," he replied and smiled. "Now you know he’s not saddle broke yet. But by the time you are ready to ride, he will be ready to carry you on his back."

"Thanks Nick," Jarrod repeated.

"You’re welcome," Nick replied.

At the end of the week, Dr. Merrar paid his weekly visit. He was very happy with Jarrod’s progress. He still wanted Jarrod to use the cane. He sat down to talk with the young man.

"Jarrod," the doctor said, "you’re improving very nicely. I’m still a bit worried about that right leg. You still need to use the cane until it can heal if it does."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Jarrod asked.

"You remember I told you that there could be some damage done from that substance?" he asked.

"Yes," Jarrod answered.

"All right," the doctor told him. "Your right leg is weaker than your left one. Your right arm is a little weaker than your left one. That’s the damage I was referring to. Now, it may be permanent or it may not. Only time will tell. This substance has caused your entire right side to be weaker than your left. We’ll have to wait to see if that is permanent."

"I know I’ll get better doctor," Jarrod said. "I am a Barkley and Barkley’s don’t let things get them down."

"That’s the spirit," he replied.

Dr. Merrar left Jarrod and went to speak to his parents. He found them in the study.

"Doctor," Victoria, asked, "how’s Jarrod doing?"

"I’m very happy with his progress," the doctor told them. "I wanted to speak to you a moment about Jarrod though."

"Certainly," Tom said. "Is anything wrong?"

"No," the doctor replied, "not really. Jarrod has come a long way in the past three months but there is one thing that hasn’t. His entire right side is far behind the left in usefulness. He still has a bad limp and his right arm is weak but he still can write. I’m not sure that his right side is going to get any better. I told you that there could be damage from that virus."

"You mean he may never be normal again," Victoria said.

"Exactly," the doctor replied.

"When will you know for sure?" she asked.

"I’m not certain," the doctor told them. "If that side does get better, Jarrod’s the one that’s got to do it. I’ve done all I can medically for him. The rest is up to him."

"We understand," Victoria said. "We’ll keep working with him."

"That’s good," the doctor replied. "I’ll be by next week to check on my patient."

With that he left. Tom and Victoria looked at each other. They knew that Jarrod was stubborn but could he overcome this obstacle that had been put in front of him.

"Tom," she said, "I don’t know whether Jarrod can beat this."

"Now Victoria," he replied. "Our son is a Barkley. Barkleys never give up. He’s going to make a full recovery."

"What if he doesn’t?" she asked. "What if he can’t walk very well with his right leg?"

"We’ll cross that bridge when we have to," Tom answered. "Nick gave Seneca to Jarrod today."

"He did?" she asked.

"Yes," Tom told her. "He said when Jarrod saw that horse, he was so happy. So Nick just gave him to his brother. He said it was for all the sickness Jarrod had been through. I believe that it was because Nick loved his brother very much and wanted to see him happy."

"That son of ours," she said. "He’s wonderful. If anyone can help Jarrod Nick can. They are still as close as they were when they were both little boys. Remember the first time Jarrod saw Nick?"

"Yes I do," Tom replied. "Jarrod walked into the room in the lodge after you had given birth. He was so small. Jarrod looked down at his little brother and smiled. Then when he stuck out his hand and Nick grabbed onto his finger, Jarrod told him that he would protect and care for him. Now those rolls are reversed. Nick is taking care of his brother just like Jarrod had done to him."

"Yes," Victoria said, remembering.

"Jarrod," Tom remarked, "come over here and say hello to your new brother. His name is Nick. He’s going to look up to you for guidance and love."

Jarrod, who was only four, looked down at the small baby boy with the dark hair. He stuck his hand out to his brother and when Nick grabbed hold of his finger, Jarrod smiled.

"That’s right little brother," he said. "Don’t you never let go. I’ll always be there for you. No matter what."

Victoria came back to the present. She smiled.

"Mr. Schyler," he said. "What a surprise?"

"Hello Silas," Brett replied. "Can I see Jarrod?"

"Yes," Silas told him. "Come in."

Brett walked into the house. Victoria met him as she walked down the stairs.

"Bret," she said as she walked up to him, "what a pleasant surprise."

"Mrs. Barkley," Bret replied. "I told the professors about Jarrod and Professor Hamilton has decided to allow Jarrod to do his work from home. I brought his work."

"That’s splendid," she told him. "Jarrod’s doing much better Brett. He’s in his room resting right now. Why don’t you come into the parlor and visit until Jarrod wakes up."

"Fine," he said and followed her into the parlor.

Brett sat down on the couch and Victoria sat down in one of the chairs. They talked while waiting for Jarrod to get up from his afternoon nap that the doctor had advised him to take during his recovery. Jarrod woke up several hours later. He eased himself out of bed. His right leg still wouldn’t cooperate with him. However, his right arm was almost back to normal. Jarrod had to put his weight on his left leg when he stood up until he could reach his cane. Then he left his room and slowly walked downstairs. When he turned to walk into the study he heard his mother’s voice calling to him.

"Jarrod," she said, "you’re awake. You have a visitor."

Jarrod turned and slowly walked into the parlor. He was completely taken by surprise to see Brett standing there.

"Brett!" he said loudly. "What are you doing here?"

Brett walked over to Jarrod and shook his hand. He took a moment to look closely at his roommate. He was happy to see Jarrod up and around but he didn’t like the fact that he was having so much trouble walking with his right leg. He thought about what this boy had been through over the past year and was amazed that Jarrod was even standing. He could have easily been dead by now.

"Jarrod," Brett said, "how are you?"

"I’ll do," Jarrod answered. "I thought you went back to school."

"I did," Brett told him. "I talked to the professors and they have agreed that you can finish this term out here at the ranch. I brought your assignments. Professor Hamilton was especially upset when I told him you weren’t coming back this term."

"I don’t know what to say Brett," Jarrod replied. "You are a wonderful person to do this for me."

"No I’m not," Brett said. "I just want you to return to school. The room is too quiet. Are you still planning on returning in the fall?"

Jarrod glanced at his mother before he answered. She nodded her head and Jarrod smiled.

"Yes Brett I am," he said. "I’m much better although I still have some trouble walking with my right leg. The doctor doesn’t know if it will improve any more or not."

"After what you’ve been through Jarrod, I’m amazed at your recovery," Brett told him. "You have made great progress since the last time I saw you."

"Thanks Brett," Jarrod said and smiled. "I owe it all to the two doctors and my family for not letting me ever give up."

Victoria who was standing and listening to the two boys talk, smiled. She knew what her son had endured over the last two years. She was also frankly amazed at how much he had recovered. She knew that he could still have problems later on but for now, he was amazing.

"Jarrod," Brett said, "here are your assignments. Just follow what Professor Hamilton has written on the paper and you shouldn’t get behind. He told me to tell you to get well soon."

"Thank him for me will you Brett." Jarrod replied. How’s everything going with you?"

"Fine," Brett told him. "I have been awfully lonely without you though. I can’t wait until you are able to return."

"Me either," Jarrod said.

"Well, I have to get back," Brett replied. "Take care and keep me posted on your recovery."

"I will and thanks Brett," Jarrod told him.

Brett left and Jarrod carried his books to the study. He sat down at the desk and began to go over what he had already missed. Victoria left him alone to study. After two hours, she went to check on him. When she walked into the room, she saw Jarrod leaning back in the chair with his eyes closed. He looked like he was asleep. She walked over to the desk and patted his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked around. When he spotted his mother, he smiled.

"I had to rest a minute mother," he said. "My head started hurting. I was just letting it calm down some."

"Is it a bad one honey?" she asked.

"Bad enough," he answered. "The words started to blur and I was having a hard time making my eyes focus on the words."

"Jarrod," she said, "I think we had better let Dr. Russell check your eyes. This virus could have affected them like it did everything else."

"Mother," Jarrod objected, "I don’t need to see another doctor. I’m fine. I’m just a little tired, that’s all."

"Jarrod," she said again, "listen to me young man. I want you to have your eyes checked out. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes mother," he replied, unhappily.

When Tom came home that evening, Victoria filled him in on the day’s events.

"Tom," she said, "Brett Schyler came by today and left Jarrod’s assignments. Jarrod went to the study after Brett left and when I checked on him a couple hours later; he was complaining of a headache and blurred vision. I told him we were going to have Dr. Russell check him."

"That’s not a bad idea Victoria," Tom replied. "That virus could have affected his vision and his eyes."

"How’s Jarrod?" Victoria asked concerned.

"He’s got a small problem with his right eye," the doctor told them.

"What is it?" Tom asked.

"Jarrod is suffering from a case of slow eye syndrome," the doctor answered. "What that means is that his right eye is too slow to read or see things in focus. He is compensating with his left eye. The problem is that his left eye is under so much strain that it is crying out and causing him to have severe headaches. I don’t know whether he will ever regain full use of his right eye again."

"That virus again," Tom spat. "It’s affected everything on Jarrod’s right side. His right leg won’t allow him to walk normally; his right arm has almost returned to normal and now his right eye."

"That’s about the size of it Tom," the doctor told him.

"Will he ever be normal again?" Victoria asked.

"I believe that he will," Dr. Russell replied. "Jarrod is still having problems because the virus was in his system for so long. This condition will go away but in the mean time I don’t want him over taxing his left eye. What I suggest is that he only study for thirty minutes at a time and lets see what happens."

"All right doctor," Victoria said. "Have you told Jarrod?"

"Not yet," he replied. "But I am going to right now. He’ll be out in a few minutes."

Dr. Russell returned to the examining room where Jarrod was still sitting.

"Jarrod," he said, "I want to talk to you about your headaches."

"All right," Jarrod replied.

"You have what is known as slow eye syndrome," he said. "Your right eye can’t seem to focus on words. Your parents tell me you had a virus that affected your right side. Your left eye has to do all the work and it is screaming out with the effort causing you to have bad headaches. I don’t know if it will improve."

"Great!" Jarrod spat. "I can’t do anything! Why didn’t I just die and get it over with!"

"Jarrod Barkley," Tom said as he walked into the room after hearing his son yelling, "You stop that yelling. The doctor is trying to tell you what is happening."

"What’s the use," Jarrod shot back. "I’m never going to amount to anything."

With that Jarrod stood up and left the office. Dr. Russell watched him go.

"I’m sorry about my son being so rude doctor," Victoria said.

"That’s perfectly understandable," the doctor replied. "You have to look at it from his point of view. He’s gone through a terrible ordeal and now this. It’s enough to make anyone upset. What Jarrod needs is someone to vent his anger at. Someone who is not family and could change his attitude on life. If he doesn’t talk, and get it out, he’s going to lose all control and possibly hurt someone else or even himself."

"Thank you Dr. Russell," Tom told him. "I think I know someone who can maybe give us a hand with Jarrod. He lives in San Francisco and Jarrod spent the last four years working under him."

"Who is it Tom?" Victoria asked.

"Bob Hodges," Tom answered. "Jarrod looked up to Bob. I’ll catch a train and go see Bob. Maybe he’ll be willing to come back and talk to Jarrod."

The family left the doctor’s office and headed back to the ranch. Jarrod didn’t say a word the entire way home. He just sat with him head down and his lower lip curved down. When they arrived at the ranch, Nick met them.

"Jarrod," he said, "you will have to see your horse. He’s..."

Nick’s voice trailed off as Jarrod brushed his brother aside and walked into the house. Nick watched him go. Then he looked at his parents.

"What’s wrong with Jarrod?" he asked.

"He got some more bad news about his eyes," Tom replied.

"What kind of bad news?" Nick asked.

"The doctor said he has slow eye syndrome," Victoria replied. "His right eye won’t focus on the words on a page. His left eye is over compensating and it’s giving Jarrod very bad headaches. It’s coming from that virus again."

"That virus has turned my brother upside down," Nick spat. "He never asked for this. Now when he thinks he’s getting better, he gets another blow."

"I know son," Tom replied. "But I may have a way to help your brother. The colonel Jarrod worked for in Washington lives in San Francisco. I’m going up there tonight and talk to Bob. Maybe Jarrod will listen to him. Because right now, he’s given up."

"He can’t give up," Nick shot back. "He’s come so far. If he gives up now, he’ll never become a lawyer."

"I know that Nick," Tom said. "That’s why I want to talk to Bob Hodges."

Jarrod walked straight up to his room and sat down in a chair. He had decided that it wasn’t worth it to keep trying. He vowed to give up. He was even thinking about possibly ending his own life.

"Yes," he said.

"I’m Tom Barkley," Tom replied. "I would like to speak with Bob Hodges."

"Yes sir," he told him. "Will you please follow me?"

He led Tom to the parlor. Tom took off his hat and coat and sat down in one of the chairs. Bob Hodges entered the room a few minutes later.

"Tom!" Bob said. "It’s so good to see you. What brings you to San Francisco?"

"Bob," Tom replied, "I need your help."

"What’s wrong?" Bob asked.

"It’s my son, Jarrod," Tom began. "He’s had a rough two years."

"What happened?" Bob asked concerned.

"I don’t know if he has told you," Tom began, "but Jarrod nearly died three times since his return from Washington."

"He told me that his lung collapsed and he had to have surgery," Bob said.

"Jarrod did," Tom remarked. "The problem is that Jarrod received a knife wound in his chest while he was in Washington."

"I remember it very well," Bob cut in. "We didn’t think he was going to make it."

"That’s right," Tom stated. "When he came home from the war, his lung collapsed. Our doctor thought he had that taken care of. But when he came from college last November, he had a very bad infection. The doctor treated Jarrod but he couldn’t really get any better. The doctor discovered that the blade of the knife was dipped in a substance that would cause pain and suffering to it’s victim every time he got upset or under a lot of pressure. The doctor wired another doctor in Washington who had worked with this before and he arrived in Stockton and told us that was what was wrong with him. He injected Jarrod with another virus to counteract that virus. It worked but in the process his entire right side was left very weak. He still can’t walk without the aid of a cane. Anyway, Jarrod received some of his homework assignments from his roommate and when he tried to read and study, he got an awful headache. We decided to take him to see an eye doctor. The doctor found that Jarrod’s right eye won’t focus on words and he is totally using his left eye and that’s why he has the headaches. The problem Bob is that Jarrod has completely given up. He won’t do his exercises and he refuses to leave his room. Victoria and I don’t know what to do anymore. I was hoping that maybe you could talk to him. He might listen to you."

"I’ll be happy to talk to Jarrod," Bob answered. "When do you want to leave for Stockton?"

"In the morning will be soon enough," Tom replied. "And thanks Bob."

"No thanks necessary," Bob told him. "While Jarrod was in Washington, I looked after him like he was my own son. We’ll get him over this hump."

"Thanks Bob," Tom said.

That evening at the Barkley Ranch, Jarrod had still not come out of his room. Victoria was getting very worried. She decided to go up and check on him. When she reached his bedroom door, she stopped. She heard a noise coming from the bathroom. She walked to the bathroom door. When she opened it, she saw a horror so bad that she jerked back instinctually. Nick, who was coming out of his room, saw his mother jump back. He went to her aid and saw the same horrible sight she had seen. There in the bathroom floor, was his brother, Jarrod. He had taken a sharp knife from the kitchen and brought it up with him to the bathroom where he had slit his right wrist. He was lying in a pool of his own blood. Nick jerked himself and went into the room to check on his brother. Jarrod was still breathing but he had lost a lot of blood. Victoria hurried downstairs and got one of the hands to ride into Stockton and bring the doctor. Then she rushed back upstairs and helped Nick carry his brother to his bed. She grabbed a towel and put it around his right arm to help stop the bleeding. Nick looked up at her with hurtful eyes and she knew what he was thinking.

"Nick," she said, "I didn’t think he would actually try to end his own life."

"Mother," he replied, "Jarrod has been under a lot of pressure the last year with that virus and everything it has done to him. Then earlier today, he found out he couldn’t even study so he gave up and tried to stop his suffering. He’s not thinking straight."

"I wish your father was here," she told him. "Tom went to San Francisco to bring Jarrod’s former commanding officer here to help him. Now it may be too late for that."

"Mother," Nick said, "Jarrod’s not going to die. I won’t let him. The doctor will be here and he’ll get Jarrod all patched up."

"I hope so," she replied.

The doctor arrived at the ranch an hour later. He examined the slit wrist and the amount of blood that Jarrod had lost. He decided that a transfusion was the only way to save him.

"Victoria," he told her, "Jarrod’s lost a large amount of blood. He needs to have a transfusion. Nick, will you be willing to give your brother blood?"

"Yes," Nick replied without hesitation.

"Good," the doctor said. "We’ll begin."

The doctor spent the next hour giving Jarrod a transfusion to build his blood back up. After the transfusion was complete, Nick stayed with his brother. The doctor walked outside to talk to his mother.

"Victoria," the doctor asked, "what happened? Jarrod was getting along so well. Why would he want to take his own life?"

"We took Jarrod to Dr. Russell this morning," Victoria began, "because he was complaining of severe headaches after Brett brought his assignments here and Jarrod began to study. The doctor said that his condition was a direct result of that virus. Jarrod became despondent and completely gave up on living. I didn’t know that he would try to end his life or I would have kept a closer eye on him."

"Victoria," the doctor replied, "you didn’t know. Jarrod acted in haste. He’s going to be all right. There’s no doubt about that. At least physically. I’m not sure about his emotional state when he wakes up. We’ll have to see what happens."

The two of them walked back into Jarrod’s room. He was beginning to wake up. He was quite violent when he realized that the doctor had saved his life.

"Leave me alone!" he screamed. "I don’t want to live!"

"Jarrod," Victoria said, grabbing his shoulders, "stop it right now. You are not thinking rationally. Calm down."

"I want to die!" he said. "Please let me go!"

"No!" Nick yelled. "You’re going to be all right! Just calm down!"

They finally got Jarrod to calm down and listen to them.

"Jarrod," his mother said, "your father has gone to San Francisco to ask Colonel Hodges to come here and talk to you. They should be here sometime tomorrow. Maybe the colonel can help you better than we can."

"Colonel Hodges is coming here to see me," Jarrod said calmly. "Why would he want to come here to see me? I’m not even a person anymore."

"That’s enough!" she screamed at him. "You are my son. You have been very sick and had a lot done to you over the past year. I’m not going to let you throw it all away so you can end it. You have a lot to live for honey. Your brothers and sister look up to you and need your guidance. You’re going to be a fine lawyer. Don’t you see, if you stop now, all that you’ve accomplished up until now will be for nothing. Do you want that?"

"No," Jarrod answered. "I just can’t take anymore."

"I know you can’t," she said softly and hugged him closely. "Everything will look up you’ll see. Just give it some time and you’ll notice a difference."

"All right," he told her. "I’ll try."

"Good," she said. "How do you feel?"

"I’m a little weak," he answered. "But otherwise all right."

"You’re a lucky boy Jarrod," the doctor told him. "If you had laid there much longer, it would have been all over."

"You rest," she said. "Nick will stay with you."

"You don’t have to worry anymore mother," Jarrod replied. "I won’t do anything stupid like that again."

"I know you won’t honey," she said. "I just want someone to stay with you tonight."

With that, Victoria and the doctor walked out. The doctor left after assuring her that the wound wasn’t as bad as it had looked. He told her he would check back in the morning.

"Victoria," he said, "what happened? I had no idea he was in that kind of emotional state."

"Tom," she replied, "nobody did. But when I saw him lying on the bathroom floor in his own blood, I..."

"I know," Tom told her and hugged her tightly. "It’s going to be all right. Jarrod will get through all this and become a wonderful lawyer."

"I certainly hope so," she said.

Bob Hodges walked upstairs to Jarrod’s room alone. He wanted to talk to the young man without his parents or brother around. He slowly opened the door and walked in. Jarrod was still in bed after suffering last night. Hodges approached the bed and Jarrod turned to see whom it was.

"Jarrod," Hodges said, "I’m glad to see you again. How are you feeling?"

"Colonel," Jarrod replied and turned his head away. "You don’t want to know."

"Yes I do," he said and sat down on the bed with him. "You see, I know exactly how you feel right now. You think things can’t get any worse, that you say the heck with this."

"How would you know how I feel?" Jarrod asked. "You’ve never been in this situation before."

"Oh yes I have," the colonel replied. "I wasn’t given a virus but I have suffered in my life just like you are now. When I first enlisted in the army over twenty years ago, I was a young, brash boy of eighteen. I really wanted to be a soldier and fight. But when the action really started and my best friend was killed right beside of me, I wanted to throw it all away. My left foot was badly damaged at the same time and I have had to deal with that for the last twenty-five years. I have a severe limp. I wanted to give up many times while I was in the infirmary but there was a corporal there that kept talking to me and begging me not to give up. He told me that if I gave up the devil would win. I looked at his face and realized that he was right. I could still be a good officer and work hard even if I had a bad limp. So I began to improve and work hard. By the end of the next six months thanks to him, I was able to begin to use that foot again. I wanted to be the best officer in the army. Last year, I retired. I accomplished everything I wanted to because I didn’t give up. You can accomplish everything you want to Jarrod. Just don’t give up."

"Thank you sir," Jarrod said. "I never knew that you were ever injured in the war. I won’t let you down sir. I promise."

"That’s the spirit," the colonel replied. "Now tell me are you still going to be a lawyer like me?"

"Yes sir," Jarrod said and smiled. "I sure am."

"You just give yourself plenty of time to get better before you decide that you can’t live any longer. I’ll bet you’ll discover that you can get over all these hurdles that have been placed in front of you. Remember you are a Barkley and Barkleys never give up."

"How did you know about that saying?" Jarrod asked.

"Your father told me that a long time ago," the colonel answered. "I was going to give up on a business venture that hadn’t panned out and your father looked at me and told me that. After that we made the venture work. So you see, you have a lot of people behind you, Jarrod. Don’t ever forget that."

"I won’t sir," Jarrod said. "You can count on that."

Hodges left Jarrod and walked back downstairs where his parents were waiting in the parlor.

"Well," Tom asked, "how did it go?"

"Very well," he answered. "Jarrod is going to accomplish every thing he has decided to do and he is not going to give up on anything. I told him a little story that changed his attitude on life. He’ll be fine now.
"Colonel," Victoria said, "I want to thank you for coming and helping Jarrod out. I don’t know what we would have done without your help."

"It was my pleasure," he replied. "You have a very talented and caring son who is also smart. He’s going to make a fine lawyer. In fact, when he graduates and takes the bar exam, I’m going to help him set up a practice in San Francisco."

"Bob," Tom said, "thank you. Jarrod will be so pleased. He needs someone while he is away from home after all he’s been through. I’m glad he can depend on you."

"I’m happy I can help him out," the colonel told them. "Jarrod is a fine boy and he will be a fine lawyer in a few years. In the meantime, take good care of that boy. I want to see him back at school very soon."

"You can count on that," Victoria said.

"Good," the colonel replied. "Tom, if you will drive me back to town, I need to get home."

Tom drove Bob Hodges back to town and thanked him again for everything he had done for Jarrod. After Tom and the colonel left, Victoria decided to go up and see Jarrod. When she arrived at the door to his room, she stopped. Finally, after a few minutes, she opened it and walked inside. Jarrod looked over when she entered and smiled at her. She walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair.

"Mother," he said, "I would like to apologize for what I did last night. It was a cowardly thing to do. I wasn’t thinking straight. I have a lot to live for and prove to myself. I hope you can find in your heart to forgive me."

"Oh Jarrod," she replied and reached over and hugged him. "You have nothing to apologize for. You have been through an awful lot and you just took matters into your own hands. Your father and I love you very much and we only want the best for our children."

"Thanks for understanding," Jarrod told her. "When can I get up and get back at those books?"

"The doctor will be by sometime today," she said. "Let’s wait until he looks you over and gives his ok."

"All right," he replied and smiled. "I’m sorry I’ve put you and father through so much. I didn’t intend for all this to happen. I was trying to be a good friend to Matt and everything sort of went downhill from there."

"None of this is your fault Jarrod," she told him. "You are so young and I’m proud of everything you have done in your life. You are a wonderful son and a wonderful older brother to Nick, Gene and Audra. Don’t you worry about anything except getting better and becoming a great lawyer."

"I will," he said. "You can count on that."

"You rest," she replied. "I’ll check on you later."

Victoria left his room and went back downstairs. When she walked into the parlor, Nick was waiting for her.

"How’s Jarrod?" he asked.

"Your brother is going to be fine," she answered and smiled. "Thanks to Colonel Hodges Jarrod has a brand new outlook on life."

"That’s great," he told her.

"Yes it is," she answered. "I don’t know what he told Jarrod but now he says he is going to tackle any obstacle put in front of him."

Nick walked upstairs. He couldn’t believe the complete change in his brother. He wanted to see for himself. He opened Jarrod’s bedroom door and walked in. Jarrod was still in bed since the doctor hadn’t been by yet. Nick walked over to the bed. Jarrod turned his head when he heard someone enter and smiled at Nick.

"I heard you had a brand new outlook on life big brother," Nick said. "I wanted to see for myself."

"I am not going to let anything get me down," Jarrod told him, "if that’s what you mean."

"What changed your mind?" Nick asked. "Last night you were ready to end everything and this morning you’re saying nothing will stand in your way of achieving whatever you set your mind to."

"Colonel Hodges is what changed my mind," Jarrod replied. "He told me something that made me have a brand new outlook on life. I have been very privileged to know a man like the colonel."

"What did he say?" Nick asked curious.

"I can’t tell you," Jarrod answered.

"What do you mean you can’t tell me?" Nick asked.

"I mean that it’s just between the colonel and me," Jarrod answered. "That’s all I can say about it Nick."

"Well," Nick said, "I don’t know what he said but I’m glad he said it because you are a different person this morning."

"Thank you little brother," Jarrod replied and smiled.

"You’re welcome big brother," Nick told him and smiled.

About that time the doctor walked in and Nick excused himself. Dr. Merrar examined Jarrod and gave him permission to get out of bed. He did change the bandage around his right wrist. Then he left the ranch. Jarrod got up and dressed then walked downstairs to the study.

"Jarrod," his mother said, "where are you going?"

"I’m going to the study and do some work," Jarrod answered.

"Don’t forget you can only read for thirty minutes at a time," she reminded him.

"I’ll remember," he answered and walked into the study.

Jarrod sat down at the desk and began to work. Before he knew it, his head was pounding because he had been there for over two hours. He rubbed his temples and leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Soon the headache had dulled down to a dull throb. He leaned back over his work and went back to it.

"Jarrod," he said, "you need to stop. You’re overtaxing your eyes."

Jarrod looked up but he couldn’t focus on his father’s face. He kept rubbing his left eye until finally Tom held his hand away from his face.

"Jarrod," he asked, "what’s wrong son?"

"I can’t seem to focus on you Father," Jarrod answered.

"It’s all right," Tom told him. "Just completely relax your eyes and let them rest. You’ll be able to focus shortly."

"I was trying to get caught up on my work," Jarrod said. "I guess I did too much at one time."

"I believe you did son," Tom replied. "Come over here to the couch and lay down. I’m sure everything will work out."

Jarrod let Tom lead him over to the couch where he laid down and closed his eyes. He lay very quietly and completely relaxed. After waiting several minutes, Jarrod opened his eyes. He could see his father’s face and smiled up at him.

"Better?" Tom asked.

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered.

"Good," Tom replied. "You rest for a while."

Tom left the study and ran into Victoria coming out of the kitchen.

"Tom," she said, "when did you get back?"

"A little while ago," he answered. "I’ve been in the study with Jarrod. He was complaining of not being able to focus on anything so I made him lay down and relax."

"I told him no more than thirty minutes," she replied.

"He’s relaxing now," Tom told her. "He can focus now but I told him to take it easy."

"I’ll go check on him," she said and started to leave.

"Victoria," Tom replied, "leave the boy alone. He’s all right. Quite being such a mother hen. He’s going to be heading back to school in several months."

"Tom," she shot back, "he’s been an awfully sick boy too. I don’t want him to hurt himself. He’s my son and I’ll check on him when I want to."

"Yes I know that," Tom replied. "But the boy is fine. He’s just tired and over worked his eyes. I’m not sure what Bob said to him but he’s a different boy. He’s trying to get every assignment done that the professor gave him."

"He can also hurt his eyes too," she told him. He’s come a long way yes but he still has a long way to go. Last night proved that."

"I know that Victoria," Tom said. "Leave him alone. If he needs us he will tell us."

"All right Tom," she told him.

Jarrod rested for about thirty minutes, then he got up and left the room. He walked toward the front door after picking up his hat and coat.

"Jarrod," his mother called, "where are you going?"

"For a walk Mother," he told her. "I’ll be back later."

"Jarrod," she said as she walked up to him, "are you sure you should try walking so soon after..."

"Say it Mother," he shot back. "So soon after I tried to end my life. To answer your question, yes I’m going. Now please leave me alone and let me go."

He walked out the door and Victoria just stood there watching him go. She started to go after him but she stopped when she realized that Tom was right. Jarrod was well enough to start doing things on his own. She looked at the clock so she could tell what time he had left. If he weren’t back in an hour, she would send someone to look for him.

Jarrod was so relieved to be able to walk outside alone. He still had to use the cane but he could handle that. He walked by the barn but didn’t stop to see Seneca. He headed for the one spot that meant so much to him. Jarrod had to walk because his right leg would not support him when he climbed up on a horse. He loved the fresh air and it also gave him a chance to think about everything that had happened. Once there, he sat down on an old log and just looked at the beauty that surrounded him.

Back at the ranch, Victoria was becoming worried. Jarrod had been gone over two hours. She wanted to go after him but at the same time she knew he would be all right. Maybe she had smothered him while he was ill. She was just afraid of losing him. She walked into the study to talk to Tom.

"Tom," she said as she walked into the room, "I’m worried about Jarrod. He went for a walk over two hours ago and he hasn’t returned."

"Now Victoria," Tom replied, "don’t worry. He’s probably just forgotten about the time."

"I’m very worried," she said again. "Would you go look for him?"

"Now Victoria," Tom began.

"Tom," she told him, "please. I want to know that he is all right."

"All right," Tom replied. "Do you know which way he went?"

"No," she said.

"I’ll find him," Tom told her. "Don’t worry."

Tom headed out to the barn. None of the horses were missing so Jarrod didn’t ride. He saddled his own horse and began looking for his oldest son. After searching for over an hour, Tom finally realized the one place that Jarrod would go and headed up there himself.

Jarrod heard the sound of horse’s hoofs and stood up. He saw his father ride up and stop. Jarrod walked over to him and smiled.

"What are you doing here Father?" he asked

"Looking for you," Tom told him. "Your mother got worried."

"I’m all right," he replied.

"Come on son," Tom said. "Let’s go back."

"All right," he replied disappointed.

The two of them walked back to the ranch. When they arrived, Victoria ran out of the house and hugged Jarrod tightly.

"Tom," she said, "thank you. Jarrod, I was very worried about you."

"I’m fine Mother," Jarrod answered. "I just wanted to spend some time alone."

"You need to rest," she told him. "I want you to go upstairs and lay down for a while."

"But Mother," Jarrod replied.

"No buts young man," she told him. "Right now."

"Yes ma’am," he answered and walked upstairs toward his room.

Tom watched his son walk up the stairs.

"Victoria," Tom said, "Jarrod will be leaving for school in four months. You’re going to have to stop molly coddingly him. He’s improving every day."

"Tom," she shot back at him, "he’s my son and he’s been a very sick boy. Do you think I’m going to just turn my back on him and let him go? You are sadly mistaken. As long as Jarrod is feeling the effects of that virus, I’m going to make sure he is taken care of. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," he answered. "But Jarrod is twenty-one now. He is a man and as a man he can make his own decisions."

"I know how old he is Tom," she said. "But he’s still my son and I’ll still worry about him and take care of him when he’s sick."

"All right," Tom replied.

Jarrod lay down on his bed. He wasn’t tired but he also didn’t want to argue with his mother. He thought about everything that had happened to him over the past two years. He also thought about Matt. He hoped that Matt was doing fine. He wasn’t sure if he would ever see him again. Over the next four months, Jarrod continued to improve.

"Jarrod," Victoria said, "you take good care of yourself and don’t overdue."

"I will mother," he replied.

She gave him a big hug and a kiss.

"Jarrod," Tom replied, "you study hard. You can become the best lawyer this state has seen in some time."

"Yes sir," Jarrod answered. "I’ll try."

"Jarrod," Nick told him, "you take care of yourself. Come back and see us. By the next time you come, Seneca will probably be ready to ride."

"I’m looking forward to it Nick," Jarrod said.

"Jarrod," Gene replied, "I love you."

"I love you two Gene," Jarrod told him.

Audra hugged and kissed her big brother.

"Jarrod," Audra said, "you come home soon."

"I will honey," he told her.

After all the good-byes were said and all the hugs and kisses, Jarrod was ready for his father to drive him into Stockton to catch the train for San Francisco. They rode along in silence. Tom was thinking about his son and how far he had come since last November. He wanted the best for Jarrod and Jarrod knew it. Jarrod appreciated everything his father had done to help him. They arrived at the station and Jarrod bought his ticket. He got on board and was headed back to school.

Tom watched the train pull out and hoped his son would be able to finish his schooling without any more problems. Knowing that Jarrod had Bob Hodges to lean on while he was in San Francisco was a welcome relief to Tom.