At the age of 62, Jarrod Barkley was showing remarkably few signs of aging. He was still handsome, his vivid blue eyes were as alert as ever and he still embraced his highly successful law career with his customary energy and zeal. He retained too his sense of humour and enthusiasm for life. He was nevertheless now inclining toward silver hair and was no longer in the practice of law on his own, for his three nephews, Heath Barkley's trio of clever sons were their Uncle Jarrod's proud young partners. Any one of them would gladly have undertaken the ride out to the Potter place, a small farm on the very far side of the Barkleys own northern property boundary. It was only a matter of getting a receipt signed, Victoria Barkley had left old man Potter a trifle in her will, it was one of the last pieces of her business left to be settled after her recent death.

The Barkley matriarch had died peacefully at home, after a brief illness, she was eighty four years old and had enjoyed her life almost to it's final hour, there was as Jarrod had said in his funeral eulogy, nothing to be regretted in Victoria's life and all to be thankful for. Her passing had inevitably left a huge gap in the lives that had been touched by hers and none more so than in the life of her beloved and brilliant eldest son, he had dealt efficiently with her affairs and now wanted to close the chapter by giving old man Potter his legacy from his old friend Victoria Barkley.

Consequently, Jarrod had refused all offers to do this task for him, truth to tell, he welcomed the peaceful solitary ride out to the Potter farm, he had not recently had a chance to be alone and think in quietude. He was riding a fine grey horse, for his old friend Jingo and indeed Jingo's bay successor Beau were both dead now. This horse was a quiet gentle gelding called Shadow and was, as Jarrod's eldest son Jack had remarked, just the sort of steady ride an ageing lawyer needed! Jarrod smiled slightly as he thought of his eldest boy, tall, dark, handsome and enough like his tempestuous Uncle Nick to give both Jarrod and his wife Sarah the odd sleepless night. He had smiled affectionately at his father as he mischievously teased him, his high spirits and even higher courage might lead him into the odd scrape but he was an upright and principled young fellow too and Jarrod was proud of him.

Jarrod was glad he had undertaken this duty, the day was bright and clear, if a little chilly and it was pleasant to be alone and have time for a spot of quiet reflection, especially about the dear mother, now departed and whom he missed so dreadfully. He had dealt with her last wishes of course for he was her lawyer and executor as well as her eldest son but her passing had laid on him other, more unexpected duties too. It seemed to Jarrod that over the course of the last week he had been approached by almost every member of the Barkley clan, especially each of his siblings. Each one had his or her own personal matter to talk over, all concerning Victoria in some way and all had wanted some measure of advice or re-assurance from Counselor Barkley. Jarrod had been the kind, good listener he invariably was, but the demands on his time and patience had wearied him and he wanted as much as anything today to think over these funeral conversations and assess his own actions to assure himself that he had done and said all he could to ease the concerns of his family.

His brother Heath came first into his mind, perhaps because the conversation between him and Jarrod had taken place most recently, just the previous evening in fact. The big house in which Jarrod had grown up was occupied now by Heath's family who had lived there in perfect harmony with Victoria. In the early days of her marriage, Heath's shy young wife, who had grown up without a mother, had been glad of her mother-in-law's support and guidance and there had never been any question of their leaving the Barkley mansion to live independently. It had been Jarrod and then Nick who had built their own fine houses for their families, but now as always the elegant white mansion was still the centre of the Barkley empire.

Jarrod was seated at his father's fine old desk dealing with some paperwork when Nick Barkley's thunderous voice sounded in the foyer and he came stomping into the library, glowerering at his eldest brother and crossing to the drinks tray. Jarrod sighed and laid down his pen, he came to stand beside Nick and took the drink the grim-faced rancher had poured for him.

"Well?"

Nick frowned heavily at Jarrod's question, "well what?" His voice was a growl and he tossed back the spirit in his glass and immediately re-filled it.

"Well, what's it all about?" There was a hint of a laugh in Jarrod's voice, Nick was so transparent sometimes.

"Oh...nothing!"

Jarrod waited patiently, his enquiring eyes on Nick and Nick went on after a moment's hesitation, "It's Heath! I don't know WHAT I'm supposed to have done but he hasn't said a word, not a damned WORD for two whole days and I've had enough of it!"

Jarrod's voice was quiet, "we each of us deal with our grief in our own way Nick, your getting riled about this may be your way of dealing with it, being somewhat quiet may be Heath's."

Nick exploded again, "he isn't somewhat quiet Jarrod! He's somewhat SILENT and I'm sick of it! You'd better straighten him out before I do it for you!"

Jarrod took without a blink the fact that Nick saw it as the lawyer's responsibility to probe the reasons for Heath's silence, well aware that beneath the bluster Nick was undoubtedly concerned about his younger brother and probably frustrated at his own inability to get to the bottom of it.

An elegant figure glided into the library and Heath Barkley's still lovely half French wife shook her head at Nick Barkley, who had once been her guardian. "If your hollering wakens my grand-daughter!"

Nick always had a smile for her, "sorry Honey, is the baby any better?"

"She's fine and she's sleeping Nick!"

"Alright, I get the message. I was just asking Counselor Barkley to talk to your husband, that is if he can get a word out of Heath, which is more than I can do!"

She turned her huge soulful brown eyes on Jarrod, "oh yes please Jarrod I wish you would, Heath is definitely troubled about something but he hasn't told me what, I think he feels I have enough on my hands with the baby."

Jarrod was no more proof against those soft brown eyes than Nick was, "alright Honey, I'll try, where is Heath?"

"Went on up to his room," growled Nick.

This was the same magnificent room that had been Tom Barkley's, Jarrod had let Nick have it on Tom's death and when Nick married and left the house Victoria had insisted that it became Heath's. Jarrod found him there sipping a whisky and leaning his arm along the mantelpiece, staring into the bright fire. Age had touched Heath but lightly too, his fair hair was untouched by grey and his powerful muscular body was as firm as ever. He was fifty four now but looked a minimum of ten years younger than that. He turned as his eldest brother knocked and looked around the half open door, "come in Jarrod, will you join me?" Heath held up his glass.

Jarrod accepted, with a nod of his head, saying cheerfully, "well that's encouraging, according to your big brother Nicholas you haven't said a word for two days!"

A slow smile spread across Heath's handsome face as he handed Jarrod his drink, "yeah, well, I had something to think about and I didn't want to talk to Nick about it," he admitted.

The lawyer's voice was sympathetic, "I don't want to intrude Heath, but if I can help?"

He let the question hang and for a long moment Heath said nothing, turning away again to stare down into the fire once more.

Jarrod waited, if this was Nick he would at once have opened his heart to his eldest brother, poured out whatever his concern was, but Heath was not Nick. Jarrod knew that Heath would approach the source of his pain obliquely if at all. Nevertheless, when at last Heath did speak his quiet and hesitant question took Jarrod by surprise.

"Jarrod when I first came here was...was I...a lot like...my father?"

The lawyer hid his surprise, for it was now many years since Heath had become a member of the Barkley family and it was the first time he had ever referred to Tom Barkley with the words "my father." Still not certain where this was leading Jarrod did his best to answer the question honestly.

"Well, I need to cast my mind back to when I was a little boy, but yes, you were physically very like him I suppose. Not exactly like him of course, but he was your height and build and had the same hair colouring. His eyes were more the colour of mine than yours and his voice was EXACTLY like Nick's even to the volume! But, yes he looked a lot like you did at the same age. Why do you ask?"

Heath didn't answer this, "and later, later in life, I mean...did I continue to look like him?"

Jarrod was beginning to understand now, "yes, you still do resemble Father quite closely Heath."

Heath moved restlessly around the room, then crossed to the drinks tray and poured more whisky. Jarrod declined another and waited. Eventually Heath came back to stand by the fire again, looking into it rather than at his brother.

"Mother's acceptance of me as a son, it was...complete wasn't it Jarrod?"

"You know it was Heath."

The fair-haired rancher nodded, and said hesitantly, "I always felt that she did it for me, myself, not just because I was my father's son," his pale blue eyes searched the lawyer's face for confirmation and it wasn't slow in coming. Jarrod moved to stand beside his sibling and slipped an arm around the younger man's shoulder, "that she did Heath, believe it!"

Heath nodded, "I do believe it Jarrod, she made sure I knew that it was so."

Jarrod was puzzled now, what was it that was troubled his brother then?

Heath's next words explained the problem, his voice was low and Jarrod barely heard him, "I've been wondering since we lost her Jarrod, do...do you think it...hurt her? Seeing me all the time I mean, me not being her own child but looking so much like the man she had lost?"

Now the lawyer understood, Heath had been reflecting, gratefully no doubt, on all that Victoria Barkley's love had meant to him and in the course of his musing, had wondered if his presence in her life had done her harm. Jarrod tightened his grip on Heath's shoulder and gently forced his younger brother to face him. His compelling eyes locked gazes with Heath's own pain-filled ones and the older man's voice was filled with quiet certainty, "now you listen to me Heath," Heath smiled at this, Jarrod was speaking as he might have to one of his sons or nephews, but the lawyer's voice was firm, "you can forget that crazy theory right now! It goes against every thing you know about Mother, she loved life and prized it too, that was how she was able to go on living even after she lost the only man she could ever love!"

Jarrod had both hands on Heath's shoulders now and his vivid eyes burned with the truth of his words, "I don't doubt that she saw much of Father in you, especially because you look so much like him, but all of his children are like him in some way Heath and I think, no I KNOW, that it was a comfort to her not a torment!"

Heath's anxious eyes had not wavered from Jarrod's face, "a comfort? Even in my case Jarrod?"

Jarrod did not hesitate, "perhaps especially in your case Heath."

Heath nodded slowly and to Jarrod's satisfaction the veil of trouble was already lifting from his younger brother's eyes.

Overt gestures of affection between these two men were comparatively rare but Heath reached for Jarrod and the two men hugged each other briefly.

"Thanks Big Brother," said Heath sincerely.

Jarrod smiled at the younger man, "what was it she wrote that prompted your doubts Heath?"

Heath's startled eyes glanced at his desk in the corner of the room, one of Victoria's many journals lay open upon the desk. Heath grinned and shook his head admiringly, "you know Jarrod, Nick can spot a lame horse from three miles away and I can pick out an ailing calf in the middle of a herd any day, but you're pretty eagle-eyed yourself aren't you?"

"I just this minute spotted the journal, "admitted Jarrod. "Is it one of the ones I gave Adrienne to read?"

"Yeah, she was reading this one and left it open, I...I saw something Mother had written. It...well...I guess it made me wonder."

Heath fetched the journal from his desk and handed it to his brother.

"Adri doesn't know I've read it, "he admitted.

Heath's wife had not known her own mother and the long years spent sharing the Barkley mansion with Victoria had created an especially deep bond between the two women. After Victoria's death, Adrienne had remarked that she wished she knew more about her mother-in-law's life in the years before the two women had shared a home. Kindly Jarrod had given her a couple of his mother's journals to read. Victoria had kept a diary all her life and had left instructions that any of her relatives who wished to read the journals after her death were free to do so.

The two brothers sat either side of the fire and Heath fetched more drinks for them both. Jarrod read the tiny extract that had prompted Heath's doubts. Heath watched him in silence and only when Jarrod looked up did he say quietly, "Adri was laughing when she read this part, she said it was all about Nick and a saloon girl?"

Jarrod smiled reminiscently, "ah the lovely Ella, well Ella Sinclair wasn't really a saloon girl, just a respectable farmer's daughter, she ran away and Nick rescued her. This part of the journal is about the period after that, Mother had agreed with Ella's father that she would dance with him at Minnie's party. Ewan Sinclair's wife had died about the same time as father did and just as Mother hadn't danced since her loss, neither had Ewan after losing his wife. So they settled it that they would break the ice together at the party. Mother is writing here about how hard that

was to do but she says that she reflected as she danced with Ewan that her beloved Tom could never be entirely lost to her whilst she has his children about her." Jarrod broke off, reading his mother's exact words and when he glanced up at Heath once more his eyes were warm and understanding, "is this what troubled you Heath?" He read aloud from the journal.

"None of my three boys is exactly like my Tom, Nick has his mighty voice, Jarrod his intelligence and Eugene his impulsiveness, but physically, they are none of them very like him. Perhaps that is just as well."

Heath didn't need to reply for Jarrod to know that this was indeed what had caused him to wonder about his presence in Victoria Barkley's life. The younger man's sombre eyes spoke eloquently for him.

"Heath, I can't hand on heart tell you exactly what Mother may have meant by that but I can hazard an educated guess if you like?"

Heath nodded, "Please do Jarrod."

The lawyer thought for a moment, "do you remember years back, all the trouble we had with Gene when he was at college?"

"Of course I do, it led to Nick taking him to Mexico with him, it was the start of a whole new era for the family." A tender smile curved Heath's lips, "it was how I met my wife."

Jarrod nodded, "indeed it was, it changed life pretty sweepingly for all of us, not least for Gene, because it was the beginning of his life as an independent young man. Prior to that he had felt over-powered by constantly treading in the shadows of his older brothers, Nick and me. Especially me! It seemed to Gene that everywhere he went, everything he ever tried to do was held up and scrutinised, compared to me! I tell you Heath, it's a wonder the boy didn't grow to hate me! Well all that is history now of course but I think what Mother may have had in mind when she wrote these words is something very similar.

You never met your father Heath, I know you've learned a lot about him over the years but you never knew the man himself."

Jarrod paused sipping his whisky and smiling reminiscently, "it's impossible to describe him accurately Heath, but suffice it to say that he was a remarkable and an impressive man. His personality was so vivid, the man was almost a living legend! I'm certain that what was in Mother's mind when she said it was just as well his boys bore little physical resemblance to him was quite simply that the resemblance might have raised unreasonable expectations in others. God knows I found it hard enough stepping into his shoes, so did Nick. To have had to deal with those sorts of comparisons too, well, it would have made it doubly hard. Does what I'm saying make sense to you?"

Heath thought long and hard before he answered and eventually he smiled slowly at his brother, "I guess so Jarrod. You think I'm reading too much into one small sentence in a journal written before Mother ever knew that I existed, right?"

"Exactly right Heath!"

A sudden thought occurred to Jarrod and he saw a way to re-assure his troubled sibling more completely, "besides Heath, there are rather a lot of those journals you know! She kept one every year of her life from the day of her marriage to the very last entry, just a day or two before she died. I reckon I know another entry or two to serve as contrary evidence to the one you found!"

Heath's twisted smile dawned, "I believe you Counselor."

Jarrod stood to leave, "I have a few things to do in the next few days Heath, but as soon as I can I'll show you something I found in Mother's journals, I think you'll understand how Mother felt about us all in relation to Father, I know I found it enlightening."

"Thanks Jarrod, I'd appreciate that."

The two men came downstairs together, Adri had disappeared back to the nursery but Nick was still in the foyer, about to leave the house. He looked searchingly at his siblings and spoke to Jarrod, "well?"

Jarrod prepared to enjoy himself, for the first time since Victoria's death, "well what?"

Nick's voice was a growl, "well did you straighten him out?" He jabbed a finger at Heath, whose blue eyes also held a distinct gleam of amusement now.

Jarrod smiled and clapped Nick on the shoulder, "indeed I have Nicholas, Heath tells me you haven't shut up for the last two days, he was just waiting to get a word in!"

As ever, Nick fell for it, "what!"

Heath held a finger to his mouth, "hush Nick, you'll wake the baby!"

Nick opened his mouth to roar a protest but managed to restrain himself. He pointed ominously at Heath, "I'll see you in the morning...and you'd better be talkin'!"

He strode out and stamped off to the stables to wait for Jarrod.

Jarrod and Heath shook hands, "I'd better give him a small explanation Heath, so he isn't all over you like a rash tomorrow!"

"I'd appreciate that Jarrod, I guess we shouldn't tease him...but oh Lord! It is fun!"

As Jarrod took his pleasant and solitary ride out to the Potter place, he thought over his conversation with Heath, he would make a point of showing his younger brother the relevant extract from Victoria Barkley's journals at the earliest opportunity. Having read his mother's loving words, Heath would realise that almost from the first hour of his coming into her life, she had regarded his presence as a blessing and a joy. He hoped he had said enough to Heath to settle his doubts, he believed he had done so. It had not been difficult to re-assure Heath, it had been no harder than re-assuring Nick as he had needed to do a few days earlier.

A wry smile played about Jarrod's handsome mouth as he leaned forward in the saddle to pull gently on one of Shadow's sensitive ears. He patted the gentle horse's neck, slowing him to a halt and dismounting to let the thirsty animal drink at a waterhole. He refreshed himself from his canteen and sat on a nearby rock to rest Shadow for a few minutes and eat the sandwich his wife Sarah had prepared for him.

Whilst he ate his al fresco lunch Jarrod revelled in his peaceful solitude and thought back to another of his recent "Funeral Conversations" which had occurred a couple of days ago. The anxious sibling seeking Counselor Barkley's wisdom on this occasion had been Nick of all people. In general Nick Barkley was one of life's confident creatures, often to the point of appearing arrogant! He rarely needed help or advice from anyone these days, but this had not always been so. In earlier life the tempestuous young Nick had frequently needed a helping hand or a word of guidance from his older, steadier brother. Such help had always been forthcoming and because of it the two men had steadfastly remained close friends, even though they were as different as a pair of brothers could possibly be.

When Nick Barkley had returned from Mexico with his newly accquired retinue of adopted children, wards and proteges he had relied heavily on the help and support of his family, especially Jarrod and Heath, the brothers closest to him in age. Later, as Nick tamed his half-wild son and nurtured his ailing little daughter he had grown quieter, calmer and more mature than had previously been the case. His subsequent marriage five years later, to a woman of beauty and considerable education had surprised many people. It had proved to be a successful marriage though, now, many years later, Nick was a truly happy man. His home was filled with adopted kids, some grown, others still growing and their pets. It was a noisy, joyously happy and lively home and it's master rarely had a doubt about anything.

So Jarrod was more than a little surprised when Nick sought him out at his office, just a couple of days after their mother's death. He could tell at once that Nick was troubled about something, all the tell-tale signs were there. The restless prowling and fidgeting around the office, the barely suppressed anger and the grim frown that forged a deep cleft between Nick's black brows. With his customary patience, Jarrod supplied the grim-faced rancher with a whisky and persuaded him to sit on the big leather chesterfield. He sat beside Nick and punched his younger brother's arm affectionately, "come on Cowboy! Out with it, what's on your mind?"

Nick shot him a fierce sideways glance, uncertain whether or not he was being mocked, but Jarrod's vivid eyes displayed only smiling concern and without further ado Nick opened his heart to the man who had, from Nick's earliest days been his chief confidante.

"Losin' Mother...well...I guess it's led me to do a lot of thinkin'... about her I mean."

Jarrod spoke gently, "you and she had a very special bond Nick, she relied on you more than I think you know."

Nick shook his head, "no, that was you Jarrod, you're the one kept it all together for her, when we lost Father, it's you she relied on!"

Jarrod shook his head, it was going to be difficult to explain to Nick just how important a role he had played in Victoria Barkley's life, but the lawyer always liked a challenge.

"You were always there for her Nick, at home on the ranch that she and Father built together, Mother knew that you loved it as much as she and Father did. She could always depend on your strength, even in times when I was off somewhere tilting at a windmill!"

Nick's hazel eyes were fixed on him with almost painful eagerness, "you think so Jarrod? She needed me you reckon?"

The lawyer's voice was firm, "I know so Nick!" He looked at his now embarrassed brother, "tell me what all this is about Nick, you'll feel better sharing it with me, believe me you will."

Nick grinned, "you said those same words to me back then!"

"Back when?"

"When I was playing that fool game with the bridge, remember?The game that damn near killed our sister!"

Jarrod was startled, "for the love of heaven Nick! You were fifteen years old when that happened!"

He calculated rapidly, Nick was now fifty eight years old, so the incident which was evidently preying on his mind had happened a staggering forty three years ago.

"What in the world brought that back to mind after all these years?"

The rancher scowled suspiciously at the lawyer, "you better not be laughin' at me Counselor!"

"I'm not laughing at you Nick," Jarrod put a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder, "tell me."

Nick grinned ruefully, "you said that to me too, every time you knew I had a problem...and you always did know! Every time you would wait till we could be alone and then squeeze my shoulder and say tell me." He smiled into Jarrod's vivid blue eyes, "and I always did tell you didn't I?"

"Well I like to think that we've always been friends as well as brothers Nick, seems to me your boys are pretty much the same, there's quite a bond between Marric and Frank I'd say."

Nick smiled, "yeah, I think so too, the two of them often remind me of you and I, except Frank's a deal steadier than I was!"

Jarrod laughed, "well he doesn't have your famous temper that much is true but when he gets a pig-headed notion into his head and sticks to it hammer and tongs, he has a definite resemblance to his Pa!"

Nick laughed with Jarrod, "well when he out-argues Frank and Frank winds up doing exactly what his big brother wants him to do, Marric puts me powerfully in mind of you!"

This friendly exchange relaxed Nick enough to enlighten Jarrod as to the cause of his current concern. Jarrod remembered the childhood incident to which Nick referred. A potentially lethal game that Nick and his boyhood friend Carl Wheeler had taken to playing involved the deliberate weakening of a ramshackle bridge over a fast-flowing creek on Barkley land. The two boys would take turns racing their ponies over the bridge, before it could collapse under them. It was stupid, but it was just the sort of hazardous amusement likely to appeal to two high-couraged colts like Nick and Carl with too much time on their hands. They had been pursuing this dangerous pastime for a while when one fateful morning Victoria Barkley had attempted to cross the bridge whilst out riding. The inevitable had occurred and both horse and rider had been plunged into the cold turbulent waters of the creek. To make matters even worse, Victoria had not been alone, she had four year old Audra on her horse with her, giving the excited little girl an airing. A tragedy had only narrowly been averted, Nick and Carl had both been at hand and whilst Carl assisted Victoria to struggle out of the creek with a badly sprained ankle, Nick had dived bravely into the water to bring his little sister to safety.

The boys were, as Carl had hurriedly pointed out to the shaken Nick, in the clear! No-one knew that they had worsened the state of the bridge, so they would not be blamed for the accident, indeed they would be heroes for their swift rescue effort. Nick had concurred, too loyal to his friend to get him in trouble, but too honest not to be uncomfortable with the warm praise bestowed on him by both his mother and father. He had wanted to make a clean breast of it all, it was his admiration for his sire that had stopped him. Tom Barkley's good opinion mattered to the young Nick more than anything in the world, he couldn't bear to go down in his father's estimation.

When nineteen year old Jarrod arrived home the next week for the summer vacation, he knew at once that all was not well with Nick and lost no time in worming the truth out of his younger sibling. Thinking back Jarrod could recall that he had indeed used those very words to Nick,

"tell me what all this is about Nick, you'll feel better sharing it with me, believe me you will."

He had totally understood, both the game and the reasons why Nick had kept silent since.He had thought the matter over and then offered Nick some sensible advice. "Keep Carl out of it by all means, no-one likes to bring trouble on a friend, but you have to tell Father what really happened and you have to do it fast!"

Nick knew Jarrod was right but he argued anyway, "I...I can't! Father'll never trust me again, not ever!"

Jarrod was sympathetic, "I know how much it means to you to stand well with him Nick, but if I know our old man he probably has more than an inkling of what's gone on already! Believe me he'll think more of you for facing up to this like a young man."

"You think so Jarrod?"

"I know so Nick. Besides, do you want to go on feeling the way you do now?"

"No, I guess I don't at that."

Jarrod's shrewd assessment of his father was accurate, Tom Barkley had carefully examined the scene of the accident and was more than half sure he knew what had been going on, for there were tell-tale signs of Carl and Nick's activities. So he heard Nick's halting confession out in calm silence and stood surveying his unhappy son for a moment. Then he said quietly, "I'm glad you took Jarrod's advice and told me son."

Nick knew Jarrod would not have betrayed him, so as usual Jarrod was right, Father knew everything! Nick waited in tense silence to hear his fate, he expected severe punishment, certainly the strap, maybe even the whip, given his tall and powerful build! He didn't know whether to be relieved or sorry when no retribution was forthcoming immediately.

The upshot of the whole affair was that Tom Barkley did not punish his son, reasoning correctly that the boy had done a fair enough job of that by way of his honest conscience. He did though recognize the need to provide his trouble-prone boy with a real life adventure as a consequence of which Nick spent a thrilling year at sea under the toughest of Tom Barkley's captains! He returned from this trip, strong, healthy and a deal more mature than he had been before.

Jarrod had to gently prod Nick to explain his current thoughts on this long ago incident. It took Nick some time to express what he felt but a couple more whiskies later he was finally unburdening himself to an attentive Jarrod. "I guess I've been thinkin' about the Duchess all the time since we lost her last week, I'm finding it kind of hard to get used to, you know?"

"I know Nick, me too."

"I can't tell you why that old business about the bridge came to mind, but it isn't the only one! I guess over the last few days I've recalled every dumb and stupid thing I ever did! Every time I've ever made her worry, or made her mad, or made her miserable, every time I've ever let her down or disappointed her." Nick broke off, drawing a deep breath and looking sombrely at his older brother, "it was a long, long list Jarrod!"

Jarrod's answer was soothing, "I think it's natural Nick, when we lose someone dear to us, to remember such things. It's because we know that death is final, that we won't ever have a chance to make amends, not in this world."

The rancher ran a hand through his thick dark hair, as yet untouched by grey, "I guess that's right but I have to wonder, what kind of a son I really was."

"I can tell you that Nick! You were a wonderful son, both your parents always thought so, even in the years when you were growing up and quite a handful, they knew that you were decent and honest and would one day make them proud."

Nick's intense hazel eyes met Jarrod's, "that's the thing that's been chewin' at me the most Jarrod, I'm not sure I ever did make either of them proud, not the way you did."

Well of course not the same way I did, you and I are very different people Nick! Look I won't tolerate this sort of stuff from you it's one thing Gene having a complex about standing in my shadow but I won't have you feeling that way! Neither Father nor Mother ever expected you to be like me, they were proud of you in different ways and for different things but they WERE proud Nick, believe me."

Jarrod re-filled their glasses again and went on, "I may not ever have told you this Nick, but I've always been grateful to you."

Nick was surprised, "me! Why?"

"Do you think I would have found it so easy to persuade our parents to let me follow my wishes and enter the law if you hadn't been there in the wings ready, willing and able to step into Father's shoes here?"

"I never thought about it."

"Well I did Nick! Never under-estimate our parents attachment to this Valley and this ranch, if they hadn't had a high opinion of you and trusted you to make the grade, I might never have been able to follow my heart."

Nick smiled affectionately at his brother and best friend, "you would have made it somehow Big Brother, even if it meant standing your ground against the old man!"

"Perhaps," admitted Jarrod, "but thanks to you, I never had to. Nick I want you to believe me, Mother trusted and depended on you throughout her life, I know this for a fact and I want you to know it too."

Nick was avoiding Jarrod's eyes so that the lawyer could not see the moisture in his own. Jarrod clapped him on the shoulder, "start remembering all the times the Duchess leaned on you Nick, all the times you and she rode together, worked together, laughed or cried together, it will turn out a far longer list than your other one, I promise you that!"

Nick's voice was choked as he nodded and replied, "alright, I'll do just that and thank you Jarrod!"

Jarrod finished his lunch and was soon back in the saddle again, the day was fair and bright and it was sheer bliss to be out here all alone with only his thoughts for company. Reviewing his two conversations with Heath and Nick, Jarrod felt satisfied that he had done and said the right things, he felt less sure about his talk with youngest brother Eugene, which had taken place the evening after Victoria's funeral, the previous week. He jerked his thoughts away from that tense meeting, in a short time he would be at the Potter place and he wanted to think about his conversation with Gene at his leisure. Best to leave that until he was riding homeward once more. Instead he would mentally review the conversation between himself and his sister which had taken place the same day that Nick had anxiously sought Jarrod's counsel.

Jarrod was only about a half-hour's ride from the Potter place now but there was still time for him to think over his conversation with younger sister Audra, who had appeared at his office door about two minutes after Nick had left, suitably re-assured and counselled by Jarrod's kindly advice. She peeped uncertainly at him, for he was immersed in his work and didn't immediately notice her. Eventually though, Jarrod became aware of her presence and glanced up, a slight frown of irritation on his face, for he was busy and Nick had already disrupted his morning's work.

Audra said hurriedly, "I can see you're busy Jarrod, I'm sorry I disturbed you, this can wait!"

His frown vanished instantly, for he could tell there was something troubling his lovely sister. "Well now, since when was I ever too busy to take my little sister to lunch!"

She protested, but it was half-hearted and Jarrod was sure that there was something on Audra's mind. Jarrod had a very soft spot for his only sister, she wasn't quite the baby of the family, Gene was a year younger than her, but she was the only girl and at 13 years his junior she was very much Jarrod's little girl. Indeed following the premature death of Tom Barkley Jarrod had been father to Audra in all but name, just as he had to Eugene. So the lawyer thrust aside his busy work schedule and took his sister off to enjoy a pleasant lunch in one of Stockton's fine hotels.

During the meal Audra kept up a flow of commonplace small-talk, mostly about the family and the impending funeral of their mother. Jarrod responded with courteous interest and bided his time, knowing there was more on Audra's mind than these trivialities. Audra Barkley had aged very gracefully from a strikingly lovely young girl into an elegant and assured matron. She and her rancher husband Will had four pretty daughters and didn't appear to mind not having had a son. Audra had been a wild reckless youngster and had weathered a tempestuous girl-hood to mature into a happy and contented woman, living the life she loved right here in the Big Valley. At 49 she retained her natural pale gold hair colour and in truth didn't look a day over thirty.

They had reached their coffee before her stream of family chatter ebbed away and she raised apologetic eyes to the busy lawyer seated opposite her. Audra had pale blue eyes, exactly like those of her brothers Heath and Eugene, now hers were warm with amusement and affection, "dear Jarrod! I'd be willing to bet you have a thousand things to do today but here you sit, listening to me talk piffle without a word of complaint."

The lawyer's vivid blue eyes twinkled, "I rather think there's more on your mind than piffle Young Lady! If you feel like sharing it, I'm listening." His face was as kindly and understanding as it had always been and Audra felt a rush of affection for her eldest brother. How many times, she wondered, when I was a child, did I cast myself into this man's arms sobbing out some childhood catastrophe or another, and when was he ever less than patient with me? She smiled, "as usual Big Brother, you are correct! I may be being very foolish about all this and if I am, I hope you'll tell me so but..." She broke off, not quite certain how to go on.

Jarrod tried to help, "I expect like me you're finding it hard enough to cope with losing Mother, without anything else getting in the way."

Audra nodded eagerly, "that's just it Jarrod! "There isn't a minute that I don't have her in my mind and it is SO hard adjusting to life without her. She's always been such a huge presence in our lives, don't you think?"

Jarrod reached for his sister's hand and held it comfortingly, "I feel just the same Honey, they say time heals and I certainly hope so, in the meantime what can I do to help you?"

Audra was a little embarrassed, "now that it comes to it Jarrod, I'm almost ashamed to tell you, you'll think it so silly."

Jarrod Barkley was an experienced man around the female sex, not only had he grown up under the influence of Victoria Barkley, a remarkable woman, by any standards, he had also helped to raise his younger sister and was guardian to another young lady or two. Add to that many happy years of marriage to a clever career wife and the fathering of two daughters of his own and he knew just how to untangle a female tale of woe. With commendable patience for a man as busy as he was he squeezed his sister's hand and said, "not at all Honey, you tell me all about it."

Audra took him at his word unburdening herself of the cause of her anxiety. "I don't know Jarrod, perhaps I'm being unfair but it seems as though every well-meaning matron in Stockton has gone out of her way in the few days since Mother died, to say the same thing to me." Audra made a face and mimicked the fussy tones of some of Stockton's senior society ladies, "well Audra dear! Now that we've lost your poor mother, you're going to have to step into her shoes, there's this committee and that working party and this conference and that society!" She rolled her eyes, "on and on Jarrod, until they have me at screaming point between them all!"

Jarrod was sympathetic, "you know Audra, the Duchess wasn't a big person but she seemed to be able to spread herself rather a long way didn't she?"

"Yes, she did, that's the trouble. What's more Jarrod, she enjoyed it! Loved it all, I don't know how she had the patience sometimes to cope with such...trivial people but she did!" Her lovely eyes were troubled, "I guess you know what's bothering me, I don't feel able to do all that, not how she did, I don't at all. I suppose you'll tell me I'll be fine and to put my best foot forward?"

His reply surprised her, "no, in fact that's the last thing I'll say!"

Audra was startled, "you mean...you don't think I'm up to stepping into Mother's shoes either?"

The lawyer smiled, "no Darling, I don't mean that at all! I just think that you are asking yourself the wrong question."

"I don't understand Jarrod."

"The question is not whether you are capable of stepping into Mother's shoes, but whether you want to."

There was an arrested expression on Audra's face and she thought for a moment. "Yes, I think I see but...well...isn't there a question of duty here Jarrod?"

He didn't hesitate, "I don't think so Sweetheart, it isn't as if you don't already throw yourself heart and soul into your own charity work!"

Audra had always loved children and from her girl-hood had taken an interest in the orphanage near Stockton. That interest had expanded over the years of her maturity to the point where she now sat on the governing bodies of several such institutions. Nor was she a titular member, she took an agressive role in directing the work of the charities with which she was involved and had earned herself a reputation as a tireless and effective administrator.

Audra was still a little doubtful, "I confess Jarrod, it is my own work I've been thinking about, I really don't have the time for any more commitments, not with the orphanages and Will and my girls of course!"

Counselor Barkley smiled, "the defence rests,Ma'am."

Audra leaned over and kissed her brother's cheek, "you never fail me Jarrod, I can turn something around and around in my head until it's so tangled I think I'll never be able to unravel it. Then I discuss it with you and hey presto, you solve my dilemma for me. Bless you Jarrod, I'm going to smile ever so sweetly and decline every last one of the invitations I've been given to sit on this and that!"

Jarrod's smile answered hers, "Barkley women are all free spirits and achievers, take my wife! Nick's too if it comes to that. If you want to consider your duty to the freest of all those female Barkley spirits, just you follow your own star, she would have expected nothing less of you Audra."

He raised his wine glass, "a toast to a remarkable lady," he said. Audra raised her glass to clink against his, "to Mother," she agreed.

It was late afternoon before Jarrod at last managed to escape from the well intentioned hospitality of Cyrus Potter. The old man was feeling his years and could barely manage to keep his farm going, nor did he have a son to succeed him. He was alone in the world except for a daughter married to a school teacher in Denver. She had begged her father to retire and join her family in Denver but Cyrus was a stiff-necked old boy and live on charity he would not! The sale of his farm might not have been enough for a dignified old age but that sale combined with Victoria's kind bequest was riches indeed and the old farmer was more than grateful. He had pressed Jarrod to stay for a meal and the lawyer had agreed. Hence the lateness of the hour as he began his long ride home, plus the fact that he had the signed papers in his saddle bag concluding the sale of the Potter place to the Barkleys. It had been shrewd Marric who had suggested to his uncle that Cyrus might like to sell and as usual that ruthless young businessman had been right! Cyrus had been almost diffident in asking if Jarrod might buy the farm and Marric would undoubtedly think that the price paid had been over-generous. Jarrod didn't care about that, his mother would have approved and brothers Nick and Heath would be delighted with the extra land.

Jarrod glanced at the darkening sky, he had thoroughly enjoyed his solitary day but he did rather wish he hadn't delayed his return journey for so long. Now he had a long ride ahead in the gathering gloom. No matter he thought, I'm not easy in my mind about my talk with Eugene on the evening of the funeral, seems to me I didn't re-assure him sufficiently. This is an opportunity to think back to that day, run over the conversation in my mind. I guess I should have tried harder, but God I was so angry with him!

The whole Barkley family knew that the day of Victoria Barkley's funeral was going to be a difficult one for all of them. There were virtually none of her contemporaries left to join the mourners, for the Barkley matriarch had largely out-lived her own generation. Her closest friend the redoubtable society hostess Minnie Perlman had died a good ten years before Victoria and over the years all of her other friends and same generation relatives had gone too. Nevertheless, there remained all of her children and grandchildren and a vast number of younger friends and well-wishers whose lives had been touched in some way by the vivid personality of a truly remarkable woman and Jarrod confidently expected an impressive turn-out for the funeral.

It had been difficult planning the logistics of the funeral indeed the various and sundry arrangements had given Jarrod Barkley many headaches.One thing had been decided quite easily though, Jarrod's wife Sarah had made a tactful suggestion of which virtually everyone approved. "I think that the first carriage should contain all of Victoria's sons and her daughter, her children should follow the coffin, she would have liked that," Sarah had said with her lovely smile and the idea had been hailed by Nick, Heath and Audra, who were all present when she voiced the notion. The only minor protest had been from Jarrod himself, "but if I'm separated from you, who is going to escort you?"

Sarah straightened his tie, "anyone would think I was helpless! Anyway Jack will escort me as you very well know."

Jarrod had acquiesced, knowing that he could depend on his eldest son to look after Sarah. In truth, Jarrod was glad to be over-borne, he liked the idea of he and his siblings following their mother together and he expected his youngest brother Eugene to be as enthusiastic as the others, except that Gene had not yet arrived at the Barkley mansion.

Of the Barkley siblings, only Gene no longer lived permanently in the Big Valley. He was now aged 48 and a very eminent Doctor, a gifted healer and surgeon, innovative and clever, he had his own hospital in San Francisco and a telegram had been sent to inform him of his mother's death. Subsequent communications, via the new-fangled and unreliable telephone, had apprised the youngest Barkley brother of the funeral arrangements and he had promised to attend. Right up to the morning of the funeral there was still no sign of him and when the other Barkley siblings gathered at the mansion for a sherry to fortify them before the coming ordeal speculation was rife as to why Gene still had not turned up.

"Too damn big for his boots these days!" Nick's frown was growing, with every minute that passed.

Jarrod's voice was soothing, "I expect something urgent cropped up at the hospital and he's been delayed, I have every expectation that he'll be here soon." He hoped his voice carried more conviction than he felt.

Audra, severely lovely in her elegant black gown wiped away a tear, "but what if he doesn't get here in time Jarrod, the four brothers were supposed to carry Mother's coffin."

Heath slipped a comforting arm around her, "easy there Sis, we'll figure something out."

"What? What will we figure out?" Nick's demand hovered in the air, there are only three of us!"

Audra clung to Heath's hand, "Will can't use his left arm yet," she said sadly. Will was her husband and a fall from his horse had temporarily incapacitated him.

Jarrod had been glancing surreptitiously at his watch and looked up as the big front door opened.

"About time too," said Nick ferociously, but the man who entered was not the missing Eugene but Nick's eldest son Marric. The tall young man approached the family respectfully, "my cousins and my brothers and I, well we talked it over and they picked me as the eldest of our generation of the family. That is, if you like, I'll be the fourth pall-bearer."

The other Barkley men looked at each other and Nick gave a tiny nod in Jarrod's direction, the lawyer answered his nephew, "thank you Marric, if Gene isn't here in the next few minutes, please do just that."

"Yes Sir," said Marric glancing across at his grim-faced father and going over to him, soothing him with his quiet voice, "take it easy Patrone, hear him out when he arrives huh?"

Nick nodded reluctantly, "yeah, IF he arrives you mean!"

In the event, Eugene failed to arrive in time and after waiting for him as long as humanly possible, Victoria's three older sons and her oldest grandson carried her coffin out of the mansion that had been her home for sixty of her eighty four years of life. The funeral went well and the attendance was so great that it gratified Victoria's descendants. To the many surprised comments and enquiriries concerning Gene's absence, Jarrod returned smoothly mendacious answers but inside he was seething with the same degree of anger that darkened the faces of Nick and Heath.

The truant eventually arrived at the mansion shortly after the last lingering guest and most of the family had already left. As the car which had brought him from Stockton pulled up and he got out and stood paying the driver, the front door of the mansion opened and Marric Barkley appeared followed by his mother. She greeted Eugene with calm coolness and without stopping to talk to her brother-in-law she walked away to where her car waited. Marric smiled a welcome at his uncle, from whom he was only separated in age by ten years. They had always been good friends and Marric had never given Gene the courtesy title of Uncle as he did Heath and Jarrod. Gene smiled back, "did everything go off alright?"

"Yes, I took your place as the fourth pall-bearer."

Gene was grateful, "thank you Marric, I appreciate that."

Marric's green eyes glowed for he had adored his grandmother, one of the strong Barkley influences that had moulded his life and his voice was quietly sincere, "it was my privilege!"

He glanced over at his impatient mother, "I'll be back for Father with the car in a while, you'd better head on in to the lion's den!"

Gene grimaced, "I guess I better had, take care Marric, we'll talk again soon." The two men hugged each other briefly and then sighing Gene drew a deep breath and walked in through the front door, to face his siblings.

He left his hat and coat with the servant who had admitted him and squaring his shoulders walked resolutely into his immediate family circle. Nick and Heath stood in their familiar poses, at either end of the great fireplace, each leaning an arm along the mantelpiece, they looked like a pair of human book-ends. Audra was seated on the settee, Jarrod beside her, her hand in his, sister and brother both looked reproachfully at Gene. He was not surprised that Nick immediately started in on him!

"What the devil happened to you!" Nick held up a hand and went on without giving Gene any opportunity to reply, "no, don't tell me because I don't care!"

Gene couldn't help retorting, "alright I won't tell you then!"

Nick took an angry step toward the dapper young doctor and at once felt Heath's restraining hand on his arm, he shook Heath off and turned away from Gene again.

Jarrod gave his sister's hand a reassuring squeeze and stood up to confront Eugene. His face was stern, "forgive us if your welcome is less than ecstatic, but your absence on this particular occasion has...surprised us to say the least."

The angry light had died out of Gene's normally gentle blue eyes now and his rueful gaze embraced all his siblings, "I know that no apology can be adequate for my not being here this afternoon but nevertheless, I am truly sorry."

Nick started in on him again, "Oh, well you're sorry, that's fine then isn't it?"

Gene's voice was conciliatory, "when you know why I missed the funeral Nick, I think you'll understand," his smile swept the rest of his siblings, "I hope you all will."

Nick jabbed a furious finger in his younger brother's direction, "all I know is that YOU weren't here this afternoon and you damned well should have been..." He would have continued his angry attack but one icy flash of Jarrod's vivid blue eyes silenced him. He sketched a tiny gesture of apology in Jarrod's direction and turned away towards Heath. Sympathetic pale blue eyes smiled into stormy hazel ones and Nick nodded his comprehension of Heath's silent message. The many years of close companionship whilst they ran this ranch side by side had bred in these two men an understanding that needed few words. They could convey whole worlds of meaning to one another with no more than a long look. Now Heath's expression was saying, ease up, let Jarrod handle it.

Nick knew that Heath was right, but he also knew that one more minute in Eugene's company and he would be sorely tempted to flatten the eminent young Doctor with one of his famous right hooks! He spoke in a growl, "I need some air, I'll be back!" He strode past Eugene and out of the front door, shutting it hard behind him. Gene's gaze followed that stiff straight figure for a moment then he turned to the others, "please believe that I thought I had no choice but to miss the funeral today."

Audra's hurt look gave way to one of affectionate sympathy, "well of course we believe that," she said hugging her brother, they were close in age these two and had been compadres from the cradle. Gene accepted the hug gratefully, "thanks Sis, it's good to see you, how are the kids? Will too, are you still concerned about that arm of his?" As his sister nodded worriedly Gene squeezed her hand, "I have to head back to the hospital in the morning but I'll come over first thing and take a look, alright Sis?"

"Oh yes please Gene, I wish you would."

Gene glanced over at Heath, just as Nick displayed his feelings transparently, conversely, Heath hid his too well for the younger man to read his mood.

Gene tried for a light note in his voice, "that is if Heath isn't too mad at me to house me tonight?"

Heath frowned momentarily, "don't be foolish, this is your home," he snapped, then, discerning the vulnerability behind the half-joking question his blue eyes softened, "I guess I'll take enough pity on you to give you a blanket," he said in a warm and friendly voice.

Jarrod's interruption took Gene by surprise, "If you really do have to leave first thing, then you had better come home with me for the night, I can't wind up Mother's affairs without your signature. Your brothers are coming to my office tomorrow morning, but presumably that would mean you missing your train?" His face was stern and his voice was icy and dangerously quiet. The deep stillness of Jarrod's anger disconcerted Eugene as Nick's rage and the initial hostility of Heath and Audra had not.

His clear eyes met those of his oldest brother, Gene deeply loved Jarrod and respected him too and he was painfully aware of how much his actions had hurt the man who was now the head of the Barkley family.

"I'm truly sorry but my Patient needs me Jarrod, I hope you can understand and in time forgive me."

A rueful smile slowly dawned on Jarrod's face, "well I'm about the last man on earth that ought to accuse another man of pursuing a personal goal too vigorously!" He held out his right hand to Gene, "fortunately, I have all the papers you need to see at home, so sleep at my house tonight."

Gene grasped his brother's hand and shook it warmly, "thanks Jarrod, I appreciate it."

The door opened again to admit Nick who stomped back up to the group gathered around the fireplace, he glared at Eugene, "I hope you had a damn good reason for missing the funeral boy!"

Gene was 48 years old and an eminent man in the medical profession but he swallowed being addressed as "boy" without a blink, smiling affectionately at his older brother, "I did Nick, believe me I did."

Nick nodded, "just as well! I suppose you're hightailing it back to your precious hospital at the crack of dawn?"

"Afraid so Nick, but I promise to come home again real soon for a proper visit, in fact, I could help with round-up!"

Nick looked at him with exasperation and his reply was withering, "Oh yeah! Great idea Kid, we're likely to let you ruin a surgeon's hands herdin' cattle!" He slapped the young Doctor on the back, "you take care and quit workin' so hard! Well it's high time I headed home, that sounds like my car outside, come on Audra, I'll take you home." He turned to Heath, "I'll see you tomorrow, we have to go to Stockton in the morning before we tackle anything else right?"

Heath shook Nick's hand, "yep, come and have an early breakfast with me here first Nick."

"Alright I will," Nick shepherded his sister out to the car and Jarrod and Eugene also took leave of Heath and were soon driving the short distance between the Barkley mansion and the graceful house that Jarrod had built for his wife Sarah not far away.

They said little in the back of the car, driven at some speed by Jarrod's second son Robert known as Rusty, leaving the conversation both men knew they needed to have until they could be alone in Jarrod's study. When at last they had this desirable solitude, Jarrod poured brandy for them both and examined the tired face of his youngest brother. Nick was right, the boy was weary to the bone, driving himself in his own way every bit as hard as the rancher brothers Nick and Heath did on the ranch, or Jarrod himself did in his legal career. He smiled at Gene, seating himself opposite the younger man, "sorry I was testy earlier, I've been under a lot of strain with the funeral and all."

Gene shook his head, "I deserved a lot worse! I'm surprised none of you flattened me!"

The ghost of a smile lit Jarrod's eyes, "I think Nicholas came close, Little Brother!"

Gene grinned, "none of you have asked me what delayed me."

Jarrod sipped his drink reflectively and smiled at Gene, "well it doesn't take much working out, presumably you had a life and death situation with one of your Patients."

Gene nodded confirmation, "exactly that, I knew if I did the surgery myself I could save her." This was said without vanity, it was a simple statement of truth.

Jarrod's smile was paternal with pride, he had after all raised this younger brother following Tom Barkley's death. "Who was your Patient?"

Gene smiled, "a young woman of no importance in the world, except to the husband and three small children that love her." The dedicated young Doctor's eyes were rueful, "I won't be getting paid that's for sure, they don't have a cent!"

Gene looked earnestly into Jarrod's face, "it wasn't...an easy decision Jarrod, missing the funeral, as a matter of fact..." He broke off, looking a little embarrassed.

"Go on Gene," Jarrod encouraged him.

Gene laughed self-consciously, "well...as a matter of fact it was Mother who helped me make up my mind. It was like I could hear her in my head, wagging a finger at me and saying, now you listen to me Eugene Barkley this young woman needs you! Her children need her, so just you get on and do your work!"

For a long moment there was silence in the study and Jarrod stared into the bright flames of the fire. His mind was filled with a vision of his mother's diminutive but determined figure, at length the lawyer smiled and nodded to his younger brother. "You're absolutely right Gene, that's exactly what the Duchess would have said!" He picked up a sheet of paper from the table at his elbow and handed it to Eugene, "this is a breakdown of the various shares and holdings that Mother left you, all I need from you is your agreement that you've received what she intended from her will, that and your signature and we're done. Oh, I'll need your instructions on disposal of the money too, although I can guess." He smiled at the Doctor, "I assume you want me to realize all this and arrange for you to be able to plough it into your beloved hospital?"

Gene didn't answer him, his gaze was still locked to the sheet of figures in his hand. He re-read the whole thing before finally raising troubled blue eyes to his eldest brother's face. "Jarrod...this...is an AMAZING amount of money, I mean...I never dreamed Mother would leave me this much. Jarrod...I...well...I don't understand this. I mean...I guess I don't know exactly how much money and assets Mother had, but surely this figure represents a large proportion of it?"

Jarrod nodded calmly, he had been prepared for the question, "it comprises about two thirds of Mother's personal fortune. Her charitable bequests and her legacies to the rest of us have all come from the other third."

The younger brother got up from his chair, still holding the paper, he wandered restlessly to the window and back to his brother, finally sitting wearily down again. He looked into the lawyer's understanding eyes, "why did she do this Jarrod?"

The lawyer smiled, "principally because of people like the young woman whose life you just saved. Mother has always believed that your dedication to the work of your hospital was total and that the work you did there was never going to make you rich! She also didn't want to leave bequests other than to the next generation, she felt the grandchildren could wait for our generation to take care of them!" Jarrod perceived that his brother was still looking troubled and continued, "I don't think you realize just how proud of you Mother was Gene, she admired your devotion to your work immensely and this is her way of showing you that."

Gene sprang up again crossing jerkily to the window and staring out at the dark night sky. His face was working and it took a minute or two for him to regain his composure. At length he spoke over his shoulder, "I gave her so much trouble when I was growing up, hell, I don't have to tell you that Pappy! I was your biggest head-ache too."

Jarrod came and stood behind the agitated Doctor, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We've spoken many times in the past about this, you are always your own sternest critic! If you ever lost your way in your youth, the achievements of your life since then have more than eclipsed your boyhood follies."

Gene turned toward the brother who had stood in his father's place for so long, "you think so Jarrod?"

"I know so Gene!"

They sat down again and drank another brandy together, Gene looked once more at the sheet of figures in his hand. His mother's legacy was going to secure the long-term future of his hospital and more than that it would make it possible for him to expand his activities and help a great many more people. A thought occurred to Gene, "Jarrod, what do the others feel about this? I mean...do they mind?"

The lawyer shook his head, "not a bit! Mother left Audra, Nick, Heath and me substantial amounts too, if you're worrying about your siblings there's no need." He smiled at Gene, "you look about ready to drop, when did you last get any sleep?"

Gene grinned, "I can't remember," he admitted.

Jarrod stood up, "then the rest of this conversation can wait until the next time I'm in San Francisco! Come along Little Brother, it's time to hit the hay."

They had parted next morning in accord with one another but Jarrod was uneasily aware that there was more to be said. Eugene's lack of self belief, quite natural in the youngest scion of a famous house, had been a shadow upon his life and not even his success in the field of medicine had served to entirely banish the youngest Barkley's insecurities. Jarrod would not be easy in his mind until he had visited the young Doctor and told him again that none of his siblings resented Victoria's legacy to her youngest son. Having resolved to do this he could put the problem aside for now and concentrate on getting home.

The day had been glorious, but now in the late evening there was a definite chill in the air and Jarrod could almost hear his wife Sarah's voice in his ear, reminding him it was only six weeks since his last attack of pneumonia. This particular illness had haunted Jarrod throughout his life, almost killing him several times. As Jarrod slipped once more from Shadow's back to let the placid grey horse drink at the waterhole, he began to regret refusing his son Jack's offer to come and fetch him in the car.

However, as Jarrod re-mounted Shadow to ride the last two hours of his journey home, he heard the sound of a car engine and his own limousine crested the rise in front of him. By the time Jarrod had ridden down the grassy bank at the side of the road, the car had stopped and his two sons Jack and Rusty had emerged from it and were sitting on the bonnet waiting for their father to reach them. Both men were darkly handsome, like Jarrod and just now the intense blue eyes of each were sparkling with amusement. As Jarrod neared the car Jack turned to his brother and raised his clear voice to ensure their sire could hear them.

"Yeah Rusty I know what you mean, they sure are a worry when they get older!"

Rusty suppressed his laughter, "Yeah Jack and so stubborn! I guess they get kind of set in their ways!"

Jarrod's lips twitched, "good evening boys," he said calmly.

Jack was through teasing for the moment anyway, "we thought you might like to drive the rest of the way, Rusty will bring Shadow in."

Jarrod dismounted with a sigh, "if either of you are after any sort of a favour from your old man, now would be an excellent time to broach the subject!" He handed the reins to Rusty with a smile, "Bless you Son."

Jack squeezed his father'as shoulder, "can you get into the car on your own or should I help you," he grinned. Jarrod pretended to cuff him round the head and laughing scrambled gratefully into the car to be chauffeured home.

The day following his pleasurable but exhausting trek out to the Potter place, Jarrod yielded to wife Sarah's wishes and worked at home. He was pretty stiff, it was years since he had spent such a long time in the saddle and he had been forced to endure a good deal of teasing from Jack and Rusty at the breakfast table. It was nice to be able to stay quietly at home today picking up the threads of his legal work, which had perforce been neglected for Victoria Barkley's obsequies. Jarrod had greatly enjoyed the previous day's outing and felt too that he had been able to think over his quartet of "Funeral Conversations" with his siblings. Yet, he felt a little oppressed today and couldn't quite put a finger on why that should be. He wondered if it was because he had now dealt with the last provisions of his mother's will. Did Victoria seem more lost to him because of that? He wasn't sure, he was aware only of a gaping sense of loss, a giant hole in his life, left by the passing of his beloved mother.

He heard the front door opening and the voice of his servant greeting a visitor, moments later the study door opened and Nick's eldest son Marric came in. Marric Barkley was the eldest of Victoria's grandchildren, adopted by Nick when he was a half-wild maltreated nine year old, he had needed all the nurturing of which the Barkley family was capable. His uncles Jarrod and Heath had played so great a part in his upbringing that he was unusually close to both men, as well as to his father Nick. They had shared the task of raising Marric and repairing the damage wrought in the boy by the miseries of his early life. He used to joke when still a child that he had not one but three fathers and his devotion to all three men was measureless.

Marric was tall and slim, fair-haired and handsome with eerily vivid green eyes. He was shrewd and clever and had a reputation as a ruthless businessman. He ably assisted his Uncle Jarrod in controlling the huge and diverse Barkley interests and was seen by most people as Jarrod's natural successor in due course as the man holding the reins of the Barkley empire. He smiled at his uncle dropping into the chair set in front of Jarrod's desk, "am I disturbing you Uncle Jarrod?"

"No, I could use a break from my work anyway, did you tell anyone to bring us coffee?"

Marric grinned, "of course I did."

Jarrod looked at his nephew, the younger man's green eyes sparkled with mischief , now what was he up to? "Well?"

Marric directed a look of limpid innocence at Jarrod, "well what Sir?"

"What are you plotting?" Jarrod demanded in a voice that would brook no argument.

Marric had a rather serious face in repose, but when he smiled his whole expression was transformed giving him a softer more approachable look, he laughed, "I'm not plotting anything! I just visited Grandma's grave to take her some of her white roses, I was over at Uncle Heath's this morning and they were so pretty, I remembered how she used to love the first roses of the year so I decided she should have them."

Jarrod smiled, "that was well done, the Lovely Lady loved her roses."

He looked searchingly at Marric, to discover that his nephew was scrutinizing him just as closely. "What's on your mind Marric?"

The younger man smiled serenely, I was asked to give you a message Sir."

Jarrod was puzzled, "by whom?"

Marric didn't hesitate, saying blandly, "by Grandma."

Jarrod's brows contracted into a frown of annoyance, "if that is intended as a jest Marric, it's in damned poor taste!"

The fair-haired young man shook his head, "I was never more serious Uncle Jarrod." His voice was quietly sincere and Jarrod subdued the spurt of anger which had twisted his guts for a moment. He turned austere eyes on his nephew, "I think you'd better explain yourself," he ordered.

Marric leaned forward and spoke earnestly, "you know when I was growing up, I used to talk to Grandma a lot, whenever you were in San Francisco and Pa and Uncle Heath were out on the range, she was always there and always ready to listen to my troubles." He smiled reminiscently, "She taught me so much and I meant what I said when I made that long speech on my twenty first birthday, it was her absolute refusal to compromise that ensured I grew up normal! She wouldn't settle for less than my healing totally, I owe that lady a lot."

Jarrod was relenting fast, "I know how much you loved her Marric but..."

Marric smiled, "please Sir, just hear me out. I was missing her this morning and I thought, all right, I used to talk to her when she was alive, why should her death change anything? So I took the roses and I...well...I talked to Grandma. I told her how all your brothers and your sister have been bending your ear this last week, every one of them needing your advice, your re-assurance or your wisdom " Jarrod didn't bother asking how this strange young man knew about these conversations, Marric Barkley had a reputation for being omniscient, he seemed always to know what was going on or what others were thinking. If challenged he would deny that there was anything supernatural about this, saying with a grin, "I just sneak around

and eavesdrop is all!"

Jarrod did not doubt that these tactics were used, but they were not the whole story by a long chalk. There was something spooky about the depth of Marric's knowledge of people and events, his eery green eyes so often indicated the strangeness of his considerable intellect.

Marric was talking again, "Grandma understands, she thinks your brothers and sister are lucky to have you, she told me so."

Jarrod was sitting rather rigidly, leaning back in his chair, avoiding eye contact with his nephew throughout this peculiar conversation.

Marric continued, "I told Grandma I was kind of concerned about you, I mean who counsels the Counselor right?"

Jarrod's vulnerable eyes met Marric's at last, "she did," he said flatly.

Marric's green eyes smiled lovingly into Jarrod's, "I know Uncle Jarrod, she was your touchstone, am I right? Now you need to know who you can talk to."

Jarrod managed a smile although he was trembling with the intensity of his emotions, "are you volunteering for the job Marric?"

Marric grinned, "I'm afraid not Sir, I'm firmly on your client list!"

Jarrod's expression was bleak again, "who then?"

Marric leaned forward across his uncle's desk, the sincerity of his words robbing them of offence, "the Lovely Lady whose held the job all these years, that was the message she wanted me to give you, and also she asked me to give you this."

He laid on the desk before the distressed lawyer, one perfect tightly folded white rosebud.

Jarrod got up hastily and turned away from the compelling eyes of his nephew. He stood staring out of the window, speaking to Marric over his shoulder, "I'll think over what you've said Marric, but right now I'd like to be alone."

He didn't hear any reply from his nephew or hear him leave the study but when at last he turned back to the desk, he was alone, except for the rose lying on the desk in front of him

Jarrod sat down again, suddenly feeling very weary, alone, that was it, he had been feeling so alone, knowing he would never again have the remarkable lady that had mothered him to talk to, not ever again! No other relationship in his life, not even his wondrous marriage, could fill that particular gap. Unless...no! Marric might believe in that sort of stuff but Counselor Barkley's whole life experience had been founded on the logic of the law, he couldn't communicate with the dead! Not even in the privacy of his own mind...could he? Into his remembrance floated that recent conversation with his youngest brother, what had Gene said? It was as though he could hear Victoria in his head, well good for Gene but I could never do that, thought the lawyer. But for a long time he sat unmoving at his desk his vivid eyes locked to the dew speckled rose.

Jarrod was destined to meet his nephew Marric again the day after their encounter in Jarrod's study. Once a month Jarrod, Nick and Heath Barkley had a business meeting in Jarrod's office in Stockton, during which many different aspects of the family's complex business affairs were discussed. Marric and one or two of the other grandchildren of Victoria, those most involved in the family's enterprises, were also usually present. Jarrod was slightly apprehensive of meeting Marric, he was a private man and had no desire to speak of such intimate matters in front of others, if ever at all.

In the event Marric greeted him with a slight smile and a handshake giving no sign to anyone else present that he had been speaking to his uncle the previous day. The men proceeded with their business and Nick and Heath both warmly praised their eldest brother for his coup in securing the sale of the Potter farm to the Barkleys.

Jarrod smiled, his eyes gently teasing his nephew, "give Marric the credit, it was his idea, though I don't doubt that he thinks I paid over the odds for the place."

Marric smiled and shook his head, which Nick ignored, immediately reprimanding Marric for his supposed parsimony.

"Now see here Marric, old Cyrus was one of Mother's oldest pals, the last thing the Duchess would want is for Jarrod to drive a hard bargain!"

Marric accepted the rebuke with calm courtesy and forebore to point out to his indignant parent that he had not in fact said or thought the price paid too high.

It was much later in the morning that Jarrod caught his nephew's gaze and in answer to the question in Marric's fey green eyes he gave an infinitesimal nod, this tiny acknowledgement was the only further communication the two men ever had on the subject of Jarrod's need for a continuing relationship with his deceased mother. Covertly watching his uncle, of whom he was deeply fond, Marric was satisfied. The lawyer looked a totally different man today, fresh and contented , not bereft and lost like yesterday. All the trouble seemed to have vanished from his face, and Marric was sure that his beloved uncle had in some fashion come to terms with the concept of his mother's continued presence in his life, albeit only in spirit.There would never be a future need to allude to this matter, for Victoria's message to her mourning son had been received and very certainly understood. There was no need for Jarrod to tell Marric so, the proof was clearly visible to the concerned nephew. For Counselor Barkley was today wearing in his buttonhole a flawless white rose, no words could have spoken with greater eloquence.

THE END