It was a low, pitiful whine that woke Marie from a deep sleep. At first she thought that she was merely imagining it, but when the noise repeated itself, Marie found herself flashing back to her first night at the school. Opening her eyes a crack, Marie peered across the dark expanse of the room at the other bed where Logan lay writhing among the sheets. Torn between wanting to go to him and fear at remembering what had happened last time, Marie opted to chose the less safe route.
Slipping on a pair of gloves, Marie padded silently towards Logan’s bed. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she stared down at him. Logan was so beautiful. There was a shaft of moonlight seeping through the flimsy curtain that stretched across Logan’s bare and sweat-covered chest. Logan’s back arched sharply, a pained cry echoing from his lips and Marie could take it no more.
Kneeling down next to his head, Marie reached out and gently shook his shoulder. She made sure to stay out of range of his claws as she struggled to wake him from the nightmare’s grip. Marie whispered his name softly, the word echoing off her lips in a plea.
With a strangled cry, Logan shot into a seated position, the claws instinctively slipping free of their sheaths. Out of harm’s way and unharmed, Marie slid behind Logan and pulled his heaving body into her arms. With little more than a pained whimper, Logan relaxed easily into her embrace, the claws silently disappearing back into his flesh.
Running gloved fingers through his matted hair, Marie whispered gentling words in his ear. She held Logan close, cradling his body lovingly as the tremors shook through him. It was rare for Logan to allow someone to see him so open, so vulnerable and Marie was touched that he trusted her enough to let her see this side of him.
With a series of movements that Marie would never be able to remember, she found herself lying on her back, Logan sprawled half on top of her. His right leg was resting between hers, his arm was wrapped around her waist and his head was nestled comfortably on her breasts. Logan was completely relaxed, purring slightly, as she continued to run her fingers through his damp hair. His skin seemed to glow as stray moonbeams flittered across it, gilding the hairs on his arm silver.
Up until the day before, Marie would have never expected something like this from Logan. This intimacy was something that she knew full well Logan never participated in. For some reason, though, after she had sung Desperado in a room full of drunk truckers, something had changed inside of Logan. Marie could almost feel it. Her skin tingled when he was around and the lines of Logan’s face were infinitely softer when he looked at her. No one would have believed her if she told them about this.
The night before hadn’t been any different save for the fact that it was Logan who had come to her after his nightmare. He had padded silently across the room they had been staying in, his body trembling violently as he struggled to rid himself of the last vestiges of the nightmare that had woken him so abruptly only a few moments before. Waiting only long enough for Marie to pull on her gloves, Logan had slid into the bed with her. He kept a thin cotton sheet between them, pulling the comforter over himself for warmth. That night he had slept with his head pillowed on her stomach, her fingers gentling him as he struggled to find the peace he needed to fall back asleep.
This night was no different.
The terror from his nightmare still fresh in his mind, Logan clung tightly to Marie as she ran her fingers through his hair and along his neck and shoulders. Marie concentrated on the back of his neck for the longest, massaging the thick corded muscles. When she felt how tense his muscles were there, Marie no longer wondered why Logan was always twisting his neck around to work the kinks out of it.
As she felt Logan’s body relaxing as he began to drift off to sleep, Marie began to sing quietly to herself, both to relax Logan and to keep herself awake. Marie didn’t want to fall asleep until she was sure that Logan was able to sleep peacefully. She knew how hard sleep was in coming to him and it was only on rare occasions that he slept the whole night through without any of the horrendous nightmares that she had been given a brief glimpse at. After a week, the nightmares had started to fade from her mind, but Marie knew that they would never fade from Logan’s mind.
The part that made her the angriest was the knowledge that each and every cruel and savage thing she had seen done to Logan in his nightmares had actually happened to him back in a time that had slipped from his memory. Marie was grateful that Logan couldn’t remember his entire past. The nightmares were bad enough, she didn’t want Logan to have any vivid memories of what was done to him when he received his adamantium laced skeleton and claws courtesy of a group of government sickos.
Sleep was hard in coming for Logan that night. Every time that he seemed about ready to fall asleep, Marie would feel Logan jerk himself awake. Marie could understand Logan’s reluctance to fall asleep again, but knew that he needed to get his rest.
Marie pressed a kiss to the top of his head and Logan let out what Marie could only assume was a contented moan. Snuggling deeper into Logan’s embrace, Marie wrapped her arms protectively around his body. She found it completely ironic that someone as tiny as herself could possibly even attempt to protect such a strong man as Logan. Logan was the type of man who put on a front for the world. He convinced the world, and the people in it, that he was invincible. Seeing him in action for herself, Marie wasn’t opposed to believing that assumption.
That was until she had seen this side of Logan. The side that craved comfort and loving caresses. Knowing what she did of Logan’s past, Marie was almost completely confident in saying that she was the first person to see Logan this way. Everyone else saw only the tough, unapproachable Logan that hid his pain from the world that had cursed him with a past that he couldn’t remember and only terrifying glimpses of what had been lost to him.
Hearing Logan’s soft moan and feeling the deep, even exhale of his breath warm against her breast, Marie realized that Logan had finally drifted off to sleep. Glancing down at his sleeping face, Marie was shocked at how completely innocent Logan looked while he slept. The scowl was removed from his features and Marie could have almost swore that he was smiling softly in his sleep. Had she asked him, though, Marie knew that he would have denied it completely. Logan was not the type of man to admit to smiling while he slept. He didn’t even like to admit to smiling when he saw something that amused him.
Confident that Logan had found his peace at last, Marie allowed herself to relax. It wasn’t that she minded staying awake and holding Logan while he fought to find his way to the welcoming oblivion where there were no nightmares. On the contrary, Marie loved the fact that it was her Logan turned to. God knew there were countless other women they had met in the past two days that would have held Logan while he shook and whimpered in her arms. But Marie knew that they wouldn’t have done it for Logan’s sake alone. They would have forced themselves on him in his fragile state like she knew so many had in the past. Some of Logan’s first, solid memories were of women forcing themselves on him when he awoke sobbing from nightmares that he couldn’t understand. There had been others, though, that called him a freak and ran away screaming when they saw the claws extend from his knuckles as an indescribable fear gripped him.
Marie would have none of that.
Instead, she promised to stay by his side until he found what he was looking for. Marie would help Logan in his search for his past no matter where it led them. She would hold him when he woke from the nightmares. Comfort him when others had used his body to fulfill their lust.
It was those heartless, callous women, as much as the sadistic doctors, that had hardened Logan’s heart against the world. They had forced him to turn his emotions inward and allowed them to use him just as he came to use them.
The only time that Logan had let his emotions out was when he fought. He could take out his anger and frustrations out on his opponent and no one would question his actions or motives. Logan had liked it that way. He didn’t have to care about anyone and no one cared about it. It was better that way. Safer.
But then she had walked into his life....
Marie shook her head slightly, banishing Logan’s thoughts from her mind. She always ended up close to tears when Logan’s voice whispered softly within the dark recesses of her mind. Of the three voices in her mind that were not her own, Logan’s was the one that she felt the most connected to.
David’s voice was confused. He couldn’t understand how the girl he had been friends with his entire life had turned out to be a mutant. His confusion led to fear. Fear of her. It was one of the main reasons that Marie had left her home. People who had loved her all her life were suddenly scared of her and she could cope with it.
Erik’s voice was angry. The aging mutant was angry at the world for crimes that it had committed against him his entire. Long before he had discovered that he was a mutant, Erik had been an outcast. He sought revenge, trying to coax Marie into finishing what he had begun. For the most part, Marie ignored his voice. If she listened to Erik, she might start to feel sorry for him and Marie didn’t want to feel sorry for the man who had almost killed her.
Logan’s voice was something entirely different. Logan’s voice sounded lost. Frightened, almost. Like a child that had lost its mother in a vast store and had no clue how to find her again. There was some bitterness mixed in with the fear. Considering what had been done to him, Marie understood his feelings perfectly.
Marie sympathized with Logan the most because he was just as lost and confused as she was. Like her, his life had been turned upside down. The only difference was that Logan didn’t know the reason. He had dedicated the past fifteen years to his search for answers and Marie could only pray that he would get them.
The sky was beginning to lighten when Marie finally fell asleep again, her arms still wrapped tightly around Logan’s body as she fought to protect him from the demons in his mind.