Bunny has 2 beautiful girls there name is DezaRaye and Miracle.

DezaRaye was 2 1/2 when her mommy was shot. DezaRaye saw her mommy get shot.

DezaRaye was always very close to me closer to me than she was even to her mommy.

I could never understand why untill about 2 yrs after Bunny died,

I belive that was Gods way of prepairing DezaRaye that she would be living with me and not her mommy.

DezaRaye had the worst temper of any child that I had ever seen,in my heart

I knew that it was more than just being spoiled as I was told repeatly.

I had more than one fight over DezaRaye with everyone in my family except my one sister TT[Trina]

The year she started kindergarden I had her tested she has ADHD & ODD .

After about of 6 or 8 months of changing her medicine we finally got her on the right kind of medcine.

She takes Adderall 20 mg. a day. She does well in school now.

Even tho she takes her medicine everyday she still has the worst mood swings in the world.

One minute she can be just fine and the next noone can do anything with her or calm her down.

When she gets in those moods nothing or noone can get her out of them.

They may last an hour or week I have seen them last 3 to 4 weeks.

I have seen her stomp her feet,kick my walls,hit me ,scream for hours.

I used to say it's a good thing my neighbors know me or the CPS would be at my house everyday.

She still has her mood swings and there are times I can't do anything with her.

She will get in one of those moods and she will say leave me alone and that is just what I do.

When she is so mean to all of us then when she is just wanting something I remind her you said leave me alone.

After she gets out of that mood she can be the most loving child you would want.

When I had her tested she was above average in everything but just barely passing.

She was way above average in math and bringing home c's and d's on her report card.

I was at the school so many times I couldn't even begin to tell you how many.

It was like after they found out she was on medcine then everything that happen was her fault .

If another child said DezaRaye done it then she must have.

Wrong I proved them wrong so many times and that just seem to make it worse for awhile.

I knew I was never going to give up on any of my girls and I wasn't going to let them get pushed a side or made feel like they weren't just like any other child no matter what.

Afte 3 years of this I think they got the message.If my child is wrong then she's wrong and will have to pay the price for it but if she is right then I will defend her no matter what.

I can be your best friend or your worst nightmare when it comes to my girls is what I tell there teachers.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that a teacher doesn't make any difference in there learning they do.

DeazRaye has a great teacher this year from the start of the school year as with every year I talked with her and explaned some things about Dez to her and we have worked together every sinse.

Dez has had a great year this year. When Dez was little my family[all but TT my sister]

made so much difference in the girls,Bunny lived here with Dez while I was still in Fairmont for about 6 months.

My youngest brother and his girlfriend had a baby[Courtney] that is 6 months. older than Dez.

It was no secert that she was all of it and Dez was just here.

Well when I moved backed here that was just not going to get it.

I would not have it. One time my dad,Donna[Courtneys mom]

were in my car going somewhere and somehow the girls came up in the conversation.

Now let me explain I'm a up front out spoken person when it comes to someone I love.

We really had some words that time [dad & me],p>donna never said anything my dad said well Courtney lives with us and she Johns baby [he's the baby]

so what Dez is your first great granddaughter.

No matter what you or noone else is going to hurt a childs feelings in front of me.

Dad said oh they don't know any better there just babies well babies have feelings to.

They are little people with feelings.You know nooone in my family even tried to hide it When Dez would get in those moods they would just say she is SPOLIED I would tell them no there has to be to it than that noone takes taturms for 2,3,or 4 hrs.

When Courtney was mean they thought it was funny.

She would bite the blood out of you hit,kick or pull hair and they thought it was funny.

They would laugh when Dez was 6 mo. old and Courtney would sit on top of her so she couldn't play etc.

Trust me I had plenty of fights with my family over my girls.

Then Donna left for 6 mo. noone knew where she was at anyway she came back this time she was living with me and Bunny.

My family was afriad to get close to her agian they were so torn when she was gone before.

By this time Miracle was born so Dez was still getting pushed a side.

Because of the way Miracle came into this world and she never got to know her mommy everyone felt sorry for her.

It didn't matter Dez saw her mommy get shot and could have died herself and she did know her mommy.

They still tried to puch her a side. My family is funny that way somebody has to always be the pick that doesn't mean they they didn't love Dez they could only have one pick at a time.

When Dez was 3 I'll never forget I was on to her about something and she looked at me

and this is what she said whateber[suppose to be whatever]nannan just whateber with them little hands on her hips.

She still says whatever nannan. She had this thing about cutting hair more than most kids do.

It got so bad we had to hide all the sciours. Dez was always very smart acted older than she was she's 9 going on 19 now.

By the time she was 2 1/2 she was dressing herself picking out her own clothes and shoes.

She could sit down and have a conversation with you just like an adult.

She could tie her shoes at the age of 4,knew her colors,address,count to 50,knew her age and could write her name.

Dez has always said when she grows up shes going to be rich.

She always hides and saves her money.She always feels sorry for the underdog.She has tried to buy her friends if someone didn't like her she can't stand it.

She has taken money to school, jewlery,toys, one yr. she even took some of the Chirstmas gifts to class and gave them away.

But she thinks she has to be the center of attention at all times.

She always wants to be first, her things has to be the best,she wants you to say you love her the most,and she doesn't want you talking to any of her friends because they are hers.

She can only have one at a time she still likes the rest of them but only wants one at a time.

When her birthday comes,or a school play she has a part in,Chirstmas,or when she does something cute I get even madder at David Whittington for taking her mommy from her.

I don't think about it being my daughter at the time I just think of her mommy.

Every child needs it's parents to love them and be there for them.

Dez's mommy is in heaven now for her daddy Bunny told me who he was I have never meet the man.

She also told me he was tall dark skin he was part indian and had a slim built.

After Bunny died I sent word to him that all I wanted was some medcial back ground I didn't want any child support or for him to vist all I wanted was medcial back ground.

He sent word that he wasn't her daddy that he couldn't have any kids.

Now Dez is 9 1/2 she keeps asking me to find her real daddy.

How do you tell a child after what she has already been thur he says he isn't your daddy?

I don't want to put her thur anymore pain she has enough ,don't you think?

My DezaRaye

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DezaRaye you are my first grandbaby,I Love you with all my heart.

I was there when you were born,crawled,sit alone, walked,said your first word and had your first fall.

I remember your first day of school oh how I cried I didn't want you to go.

I wanted to keep you home with me your nannan. Now your 9 1/2 and are so beautiful and smart.

I hope you keep growing and learning. Reach for the stars and the moon,don't ever let anyone hold you back.

Don't ever stop learning and growing. You can be anything you want to be Dez.

You can be a great person,funny,loving.and caring when you want to be I hope this side of you wins your battle you fight with yourself more than anyone else.

My prayer for you is that your wonderful side wins if it does I know you will go far. As long as you try to do the best you can do thats all that matters that way baby your not selling yourself short.

Always remember God is always on your side and he loves us

I Love You

NanNan