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I'm in love with a monkey(not you)
Love

This page is designed to help other young men (and women, hey theres nothin wrong with bein a lesbian) with their love life. First off, I will tell you some romantic ideas to spice up your love life.

1

Next time you're with your girlfriend, out of nowhere just surprise her. A few ideas I came up with are...

pull your arm back..wait for about 5 seconds, look around to make sure no ones watching and slowly and lovingly ...shove your index finger up her ass.. Beleive me, she'll love it.

Next time you're walking somewhere with your man/ woman/ pet monkey named ralph..out of nowhere just slide your foot in front of theirs. After they come back from the hospital for a broken nose, he/she/ralph will be so dizzy and disorientated from loss of blood that you will be able to have sex with him/her/ralph.

Another romantic thing to do is to take your loved one(human, animal..other) some place special for dinner. I tried out a few places to see which would get me laid the quickest.

A dumpster- Now i know it may be a surprise for her to find that shes in a smelly pile of garbage, but its not a good surprise. I tried it with 3 different women and each had their own response.

1 screamed and kicked me.

Another one just screamed. Over and over. She wouldnt stop so I left and locked her in the dumpster.

The 3rd one just looked around. Then she started eating the garbage. I tried to pull her away from it but she bit my arm. Now i think I have rabies. Oh well.

another place i tried is McDonalds. Ok, unless yur a pedophile this will not get you laid. Damn, little girls/boys/monkeys will do anything for a happy meal. Believe me, ANYTHING.

Then theres always your other girlfriends/boyfriends/monkey named bobs house. This never turns out good and almost never gets you laid. I only recommend this for people who do not love their testicles.

Their moms house. This might not get you laid, but she'll be glad you want to meet her parents. So when yur girlfriend/boyfriend/animal sex machine wants to go home, just tell them you want to spend the night and get to know their parents a lot better. The normal response would be for your girlfriend/boyfriend/giraffe to open their eyes wide and go "WHAT?" but i got lucky and my giraffe..er..i mean girlfriend wasn't the sharpest knife shoved in my ass and she said yes. I was hoping for a no, because now i had to have a threesome with her parents and I was tired. I just wanted to go home and mast..icate...cuz i was hungry...u know. Ok I wanted time alone with Carrie(my girrafe). Theres nothin wrong with that.