Lonnie Henderson looked through the hole on the door that led to the brig. Picallo lay on the small cot inside, arm over his eyes, trying to rest. She sighed. She had tried in vain since leaving the mess hall earlier that evening to understand how Picallo could have been so stupid, but she hadn't been able to figure it out. They had tried so hard together to push him away from his past, towards a better future, but he had thrown all that away for the sake of an argument. And with Lucas! The two were best friends, or so she had thought. She felt like she needed to know what transpired between them, so she could better understand why Picallo had lost control. She knew Hudson better than to hope he would keep the incident off of Tony's record. It would go down, and haunt Tony for the rest of his career, if he even had one now. He was so damn promising," she thought to herself. Why did he lose control? Why? Damn him! If Captain Hudson made him leave the shipÉ
Suddenly it hit her. Was she so upset because of the ramifications on Tony's career or because she didn't want him to leave? Over the past few months, because of their long work sessions, the two had developed a special bond. It was more than just friendship, but Lonnie was too scared to admit that it was more than platonic. She loved Ford... didn't she?
Nodding to the guard, she heard a buzz and the door clicked open. Picallo didn't move as she entered the room and closed the door behind her.
"Tony?"
He responded without moving a muscle. "What do you want, Lonnie?"
"Tony..."
"If you're here to tell me how stupid I was, get in line. If you wanna tell me how I threw my career away, don't bother. I've already heard that speech. So unless you've got some new material-"
"Why, Tony?" The simple question seemed to break down the barrier he had erected around himself. Maybe Lonnie wasn't here to berate him one more time. Maybe she really cared about him...
"Once I figure that out, I'll let ya' know." He rolled over onto his side and faced the wall so that she couldn't see the tears that were swelling in his eyes like high tide. "It was justÉ Jim's death shook me up, ya' know? It shook us all up. Except Lucas. I mean, he didn't even seem to be bothered by it at all. Yeah, he came to the funeral but he just seemed so... distant. Like he wanted to be anywhere else but where he was."
"I don't think Lucas has been very happy lately, Tony. He never seemed like navy-type to me before, and I think he's having a hard time adjusting. He's a genius and sometimes it's hard to remember that he's only an 18-year-old kid."
"Yeah, well, maybe that's why everyone loves protecting him and doing him favors while smucks like me get demoted and thrown in the brig."
"Tony--"
"It's true, Lonnie!" He turned around and sat up to face her. "Lucas thinks he's all hard done by, but he's got it all! He's a friggin genius, he's 18-years-old and he's already an Ensign; he had Captain Bridger strung around his little finger, and--"
"That's just it, Tony- had. He had Captain Bridger wrapped around his little finger, but he's gone, and I don't know what happened when he came back with section 7, but it shook Lucas up badly. Look, Tony," Lonnie lowered her voice and sat down on the bunk beside him. "We all lost a lot when we came back from Hyperion. Friends, relatives, lovers- all ten years ahead of us and moving on with their lives. We are each other's family now, and this is especially important for Lucas. We've seen him grow up, and we all know that Captain Bridger was like an adopted father for him. I think that he really felt betrayed and lost when he left. We have to support each other."
Tony looked up at her then, his tear-streaked face only inches from hers. "Lonnie, you're the only one on this ship who understands me, and the only one who cares."
"That's not true, Tony. Everyone cares about you."
"Not Lucas; not anymore."
"Lucas is very forgiving, Tony. Give him time."
A few seconds of tense silence passed before Tony decided. For months he had been anxiously awaiting the right time to tell Lonnie how he felt, threats from Commander Ford or otherwise. Now, when he knew the moment was finally here, he hesitated. How would she react? What if he ruined their entire relationship because he couldn't control his hormones? But, looking at her face, he decided to throw caution to the wind.
Reaching up and cupping her face in his hands, he pressed his lips against hers. Taken aback, Lonnie resisted at first but then melted into submission. That one kiss seemed to last for hours. All the cliches popped into Tony's head at once; stars were twinkling, fireworks booming, and even the earth stopped moving.
When they finally parted, he opened his eyes and whispered, "Wow."
Then it seemed that the world came rushing in at once. The guard coughed outside in the hall and abruptly, she stood and moved to the door.
"I, uh, I have to go on duty."
Then, suddenly, she was gone, and Picallo was once again left alone in his cell.
"...so Hudson said that it would be best to give me my own quarters, considering what happened. He said that it should have been done when I signed up anyway, but he'd just never gotten around to doing it."
"That's great. Do you like having your own space again?" Lucas looked down at his hands.
"I did at first, but... I don't know. I guess I just wish that it had happened under different circumstances, ya' know?"
"Have you talked to him, yet?"
Lucas looked up from contemplating his hands folded in his lap to face the image looking back at him from the vidlink. He was silent for a while until he looked back down. "No. I can't, Juliana. I just... it's complicated. Every time I see him I just don't know what to say. I don't know..." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
"Lucas, I know it's not easy, but you can't work together until you talk to him. It doesn't have to be a huge discussion, but you at least need to be able to carry on a conversation. Am I making any sense?"
"Yeah, I know. It's just... Tony can hold a grudge. What if he still hates me?"
"Lucas, I'm sure he never hated you. Tony was a good friend to you before, and something like that doesn't just go away."
"Yeah. I guess you're right. Thanks."
"Anytime. Look, Lucas, I've gotta run. Nick's been dying to show me this new project of his, and he's going to kill me if I keep him waiting much longer."
"Okay. Well, I'll talk to you later then."
"Yeah. And Lucas- it's great to hear from you again. Be careful; I don't want to lose you twice."
"I will, Juliana. Bye."
"Bye."
Lucas smiled as the vidlink shut off. It had been a few months since the incident in his quarters, and he'd finally gotten the nerve to call his old flame. He'd dialed the number twice before he'd actually let it go through, he'd been so nervous. I mean, what if she didn't remember him? She probably thought he was dead; did he have the right to barge back into her life all of a sudden?
He finally had decided that yes, he did have the right, and he would do it. Now he felt like 100 pounds had been lifted off his shoulders. She had been so happy to see him; it almost made up for the lousy couple of months he had been having. Almost.
Lucas stared at the ceiling, the darkness playing tricks with his eyes and making him see shapes in the metal. Frustrated, he closed his eyes and rubbed them, sighing at his restlessness. He looked over at the chronometer beside his bed. It read "04:30." Damn. He had to be on the bridge in two and a half hours, and he hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep. His phone call with Juliana kept plaguing him. He knew that he should talk to Tony and forgive him, but it was just too hard. The fact that Tony had actually accused him of not caring about Jim and not grieving at his death... the words still stung, and the accusation rang fresh in his mind every time he saw Tony. For it being such a big ship, he sure saw Picallo a lot, too.
He looked over at the swim tube that ran along his room. Thankfully, Hudson had given Lucas a room with swim tubes, a fact that he hadn't just let pass him by. The water played on the opposite wall, the patterns calming him into almost a trance-like state. A knock on the door ripped him back into reality.
He opened the door to an empty hallway. He looked down both sides of it, but it was like the whole ship was asleep except for him. He shook his head and laughed at his obvious insanity until he saw it. The envelope lay on the floor in front of him, left behind like a forgotten childhood toy. He picked it up and, once more making sure that no one had appeared in the hallway, went back inside his room.
Scrawled onto the envelope was his name. He recognized the handwriting as belonging to Tony. Sitting hard in surprise onto his bed, he opened the envelope and took out the note stuffed inside. It read:
Lucas,
This is incredibly hard to write. I'm not sure exactly his to say this; you know how lousy I am at expressing my feelings. It's just... these past few months have been hell on earth for me, and I know exactly why. I think you do, too.
God, Lucas, I was so stupid! I didn't mean what I said that day. I was just hurt and angry and grieving. I know that's no excuse, but it's all I can give. I lost control. I haven't lost control like that since I came on board this tug, and to think that I did it with you... I still cringe every time I think about it.
I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry.
Lucas, you were one of the first people here to accept me. You didn't freak out because of my gills, and you barely complained about having to share your room with a freak- to me, anyway. I want to thank you for that. You're my buddy, Luke, and I hope that you somehow still think of me as yours.
-Tony
"...so Kreig decides to give them to the Admiral!" The table burst out laughing. "Can you believe it?" Tim brushed a tear from his eye as he finished telling the story of Ben Kreig and the infamous glowing fish poop.
"Kreig sounds like quite a character," Lonnie commented, poking at her half-finished plate of food. At least she thought that it was food... "I can't believe that the captain put up with him for so long. What'd Bridger do then?" Freddie and Lonnie leaned foreword instinctively, knowing that Bridger would've come up with an interesting punishment for the lieutenant.
"Well, Bridger decided..." Lucas tuned out the rest of Tim's story, all of his attention focused on the person who had just walked into the mess. Picallo, tray in hand, started toward the table where the senior officers sat, then stopped abruptly when his eyes met Lucas'. He turned away and started towards a table on the opposite side of the room. His heart beating, Lucas held up his hand and waved him over to their table. Their eyes met again, and for he briefest second, Lucas swore he could see the glint of tears in Tony's eyes. Then the moment was over, and Lucas returned to the conversation at the table as Picallo pulled up a chair and sat down.
"...the whole hallway smelled for weeks!" The table erupted into laughter again.
"Captain Bridger liked to give second chances, didn't he?" Lonnie laughed.
"Yeah. He gave everyone a second chance." Lucas smiled at Tony, and he smiled back, knowing how hard it had been for Lucas to forget his pride and forgive him.