All Lyrics
Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats
Are you blind when you're born?
Can you see in the dark?
Dare you look at a king?
Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone?
.
Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
.
When you fall on your head,
Do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense
There's a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind
When you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go to the Heaviside Layer?
.
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
.
Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Familiar with candle, with book, and with bell?
Were you Whittington's friend?
The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus of heaven and hell?
.
Are you mean like a minx?
Are you lean like a lynx?
Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat?
Were you there when the pharaohs commissioned the Sphinx?
If you were and you are, you're a Jellicle Cat!
.
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
.
We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire
We can run up a wall, we can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire
_
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
.
Can you sing at the same time in more than one key?
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss?
And can you (as cats do) begin with a 'C'?
That always triumphantly brings down the house?
.
Jellicle Cats are queen of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from 'The Messiah'
Hallelujah, angelical choir
.
Jellicle Cats are queen of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from 'The Messiah'
Hallelujah, angelical choir
.
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
'Round the cathedral rang 'Vivat'
Life to the everlasting cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful and true to others who do, what...
.
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle Cats sing Jellicle Chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
.
Practical cats, dramatical cats, pragmatical cats, fanatical cats. Oratorical cats, delphicoracle cats, skeptical cats, dispeptical cats. Romantical cats, pedantical cats, critical parasitical cats, allegorical cats. Metaphorical cats, statistical cats, and mystical cats. Political cats, hypocritical cats, clerical cats, hysterical cats. Cynical cats, rabbinical cats!
.
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle Cats
The Naming of Cats
There's a man over there with a look of surprise
As much as to say as to say, well, now how about that?
Do I actually see with my own very eyes
A man who's not heard of a Jellicle Cat?
What’s a Jellicle Cat?
What’s a Jellicle Cat?
What’s a Jellicle Cat?
.
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey-
All of them are sensible, everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-
But all of them sensible, everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond, there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover-
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, Of the thought, Of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name…name…name…name…name…name…name (fade)
Invitation to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
.
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
.
Jellicle Cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball
Where we all rejoice!
And the Jellicle leader will soon appear
And make what is known as the Jellicle Choice
When Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the Cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle life
For waiting up there is the Heaviside Layer
Full of wonders one Jellicle only will see
And Jellicles ask, Because Jellicles dare:
"Who will it be?"
"Who will it be?"
The Old Gumbie Cat
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
Her coat is of the tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots.
All day she sits beneath the stair or on the steps or on the mat;
She sits and sits and sits and sits-and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
.
But…when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
And when all the family's in bed and asleep,
She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep.
She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice-
Their behaviour's not good and their manners not nice;
So when she has got them lined up on the matting,
She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting.
.
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat;
She sits and sits and sits and sits-and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
.
But…when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
So she's formed from that lot of disorderly louts,
A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do-
And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo!
.
For she's a jolly good fellow!
Thank you, my dears!
The Rum Tum Tugger
Meow! Meow!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse
If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat, then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to shout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!
.
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
When you let me in, then I want to go out
I'm always on the wrong side of every door
And as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about
I like to lie in the bureau drawer,
But I make such a fuss if I can't get out
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for you to doubt it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!
.
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
My disobliging ways are a matter of habit
If you offer me fish, then I always want a feast
When there isn't any fish, then I won't eat rabbit
If you offer me cream, then I sniff and sneer
For I only like what I find for myself...No!
.
So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle;
But I'll leap upon your lap in the middle of your sewing,
For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!
Grizabella the Glamour Cat
Remark the cat who hesitates toward you
In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin
.
She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court
She flitted about the No Man's Land
From "The Rising Sun" to "The Friend at Hand"
And the postman sighed as he scratched his head
You'd really had thought she ought to be dead
And who would ever suppose that that
Was Grizabella the glamour cat?
Grizabella, the glamour cat
Grizabella, the glamour cat
And who would ever suppose that that
Was Grizabella the glamour cat?
Bustopher Jones
Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones
In fact, he's remarkably fat.
He doesn't haunt pubs---He has eight or nine clubs,
For he's the St. James’s Street cat!
He's the cat we all greet as we walk down the street
In his coat of fastidious black:
No common-place mousers have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back.
In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!
.
My visits are occasional to the senior educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools.
For a similar reason, when game is in season
I am found, not at Fox’s, but Blimpy’s;
I am frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous for winkles and shrimps.
In the season of venison I give my ben’son
To the Pothunter’s succulent bones;
And just before noon’s not a moment to soon
To drop in for a drink at the Drones.
When I'm seen in a hurry there's probably curry
At the Siamese---or at the Glutton;
When I look full of gloom then I've lunched at the tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton.
.
In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white spats
.
So much in this way passes Bustopher's day-
At one club or another he's found
It can be no surprise that under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
He's a twenty-five pounder (or I am a bounder)
And he's putting on weight every day
But I'm so well preserved because I've observed
All me life a routine and I'd say
I am still in me prime
I shall last out my time
That's the word from this stoutest of Cats
It must and it shall be Spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white spats
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, we're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians tight-rope walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation. We make our home in Victoria Grove--
This is merely our centre of operation, for we are incurably given to rove
.
When the family assembled for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!
The joint has gone from the oven-like that!"
Then the family would say:"It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie-or Rumpelteazer!"-And most of the time, they leave it at that
.
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together.
And some of the time you would say it was luck, and some of the time you would say it was weather.
We go through the house like a hurricane, and no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie-or Rumpelteazer? Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?
.
And when you heard a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping!
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming-
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie! AND Rumpelteazer!"-And there's nothing at all to be done about that!
And there’s nothing at all do be done about that!
Old Deuteronomy
Old Deuteronomy?
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
.
Well, of all...Things...Can it be...really?
Yes! No!
Ho! Hi!
Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
.
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time;
He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession.
He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession.
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives
And more-I am tempted to say, ninety-nine;
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of him in his decline.
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy,
When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall,
The Oldest Inhabitant croaks:
.
Well, of all...Things...Can it be...really?
Yes! No!
Ho! Hi!
Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
.
Well, of all...Things...Can it be...really?
Yes! No!
Ho! Hi!
Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
.
Well, of all...Things...Can it be...really?
Yes! No!
Ho! Hi!
Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
.
Well, of all...Things...Can it be...really?
Yes! No!
Ho! Hi!
Oh, my eye!
.
My legs may be tottery, I must go slow
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy!
The Pekes and the Pollicles
Of the aweful battle
Of the Pekes and the Pollicles:
Together with some account
Of the participation
Of the Pugs and the Poms
And the intervention of THE GREAT RUMPUSCAT
.
The Pekes and the Pollicles, everyone knows,
Are proud and implacable passionate foes;
It is always the same, wherever one goes.
And the Pugs and the Poms, although most people say
That they do not like fighting, yet once in a way,
They now and again join into the fray
And they
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you can hear them all over the Park.
.
Now on the occasion of which I shall speak
Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week
(And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke).
The big Police Dog was away from his beat-
I don't know the reason, but most people think
He'd slipped into the Wellington's Arms for a drink-
And no one at all was about on the street
When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet.
They did not advance, or exactly retreat,
But they glared at eachother, and scraped their hind feet,
And they started to
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you can hear them all over the Park
And they
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you can hear them all over the Park
.
Now the Peke, although people may say what they please,
Is no British Dog, but a Heathen Chinese.
And so all the Pekes, when they heard the uproar,
Some came to the window, some came to the door;
There were surely a dozen, more likely a score.
And together they started to grumble and wheeze
In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese.
But a terrible din is what Pollicles like,
For your Pollicle Dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke
.
There are dogs out of every nation
The Irish, the Welsh and the Dane
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian
And even from China and Spain,
The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian
And the mastiff who walks on a chain
And to those that are frisky and frollical
Let my meaning be perfectly plain
That my name it is Little Tom Pollicle
And you'd better not do it again
.
And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters,
And every dog-jack of them notable fighters;
And so they stepped out, with their pipers in order,
Playing When the Blue Bonnets Come Over the Border,
Then the Pug and the Poms held no longer aloof,
But some from the balcony, some from the roof,
Join to the din
With a
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you can hear them all over the Park
Until you can hear them all over the Park
.
When these bold heroes together assembled
The traffic all stopped, and the Underground trembled
And some of the neighbours were so much afraid
That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade.
When suddenly, up from the a small basement flat,
Why who should stalk out but THE GREAT RUMPUSCAT.
His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing,
He gave a great yawn, and his jaws were amazing;
And when he looked out through the bars of the area,
You never saw anything fiercer or hairier.
And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning,
The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning.
He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap-
And they every last one of them scattered like sheep.
.
And when the Police Dog returned to his beat,
There wasn't a single one left in the street.
.
All hail and all power to the Great Rumpus Cat!
The Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle Cats come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
.
Jellicle Cats are black and white
Jellicle Cats are rather small
Jellicle Cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear when we caterwaul
Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces
Jellicle cats have bright black eyes
We like to practice our airs and graces
And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise
.
Jellicle Cats develop slowly
Jellicle cats are not too big
Jellicle cats are roly-poly
We know how to dance a Gavotte and a jig
Until the Jellicle Moon appears
We make our toilette and take our repose
Jellicles wash behind their ears
Jellicles dry between their toes
.
Jellicle cats are white and black
Jellicle cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes
We're quiet enough in the morning hours
We're quiet enough in the afternoon
Reserving our terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon
.
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats (as we said) are small
If it happens to be a stormy night
We will practice a caper or two in the hall
If it happens the sun is shining bright
You would say we had nothing to do at all
We are resting and saving ourselves to be right
For the Jellicle Moon and the Jellicle Ball
.
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
.
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Moments of Happiness
The moments of happiness
.
We had the experience, but missed the meaning
And approach to the meaning restores the experience.
In a different form beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness
The past experience revived in the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting something that is probably quite ineffable
.
Moonlight
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
.
Moonlight
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
Memory I
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand.
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin.
.
Memory
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
.
Every streetlamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning
.
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Gus: the Theatre Cat
Gus is the cat at the theatre door
His name, as I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus, but that's such a fuss
To pronounce, that we usually call him
Just Gus
His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
Yet he was in his youth quite the Smartest of Cats
But no longer a terror to mice or to rats
For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
For he once was a star of the highest degree
He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree
And he likes to relate his success on the halls
Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls
But his greatest creation as he loves to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell
.
I have played in my time every possible part
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag
I knew how to act with my back and my tail
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts
I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell
When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell
In the pantomime season, I never fell flat
And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat
But my grandest creation, as history will tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell
.
Then if someone will give him a toothful of gin
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne
At a Shakespeare performance, he once walked on pat
When some actor suggested the need for a cat
.
And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned
They never get drilled in a regular troupe
And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
And he says as he scratches himself with his claws
Well, theatre is certainly not what it was
These modern productions are all very well
But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery when I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell
Skimbleshanks: the Railway Cat
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
When the night mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can't start!"
All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
For unless he's very nimble
Then the night mail just can't go!"
At 11.42 with the signal overdue
And the passengers all frantic to a man--
That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van!
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went "All clear!"
They'd be off at last for the northern part
Of the Northern Hemisphere
.
Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
.
You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all more or less
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travelers in the first and the third
He established control by a regular patrol
And he'd know at once if anything occurred
He would watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking
And it's certain that he didn't approve
Of hilarity and riot, so the folk were very quiet
When Skimble was about and on the move
You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks
He's a cat that can't be ignored
So nothing went wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard
.
It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den
With their name written up on the door
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet
And not a speck of dust on the floor
There was every sort of light you make it dark or bright
And a button you could turn to make a breeze
And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze (achoo!)
Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly
"Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?"
But I was just behind him and was ready to remind him
For Skimble won't let anything go wrong
When they crept into their cozy berth and pulled the counterpane
They ought to reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice-
They can leave all that to the Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
.
Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
.
In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright
Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was keeping on the watch
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea
They were fast asleep at Crewe and so they never knew
That I was walking up and down the station;
They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle
Where I met the stationmaster with elation
They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police
If there was anything they ought to know about
When they got to Gallowgate, there they did not have to wait
For Skimbleshanks will help them to get out
And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail
Which says, "I'll see you again"
You'll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
The Cat of the Railway Train
The Cat of the Railway Train!!!
Macavity: the Mystery Cat
Macavity!
.
Macavity's a mystery cat: He's called the Hidden Paw---
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime---Macavity's not there!
.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime, Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!
.
Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin:
You'd know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake;
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake!
.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square--
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!
.
He's outwardly respectable (I know he cheats at cards)
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted--or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing--or another Peke's been stifled
Or the greenhouse glass is broken--and the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!
.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
Whatever time the deed took place---MACAVITY WASN’T THERE!
And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then… Macavity
Macavity
Macavity
Macavity
When a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!
Macavity's not there!
.
We have to find Old Deuteronomy
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
You ought ask the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
The original Conjuring Cat
(There can be no doubt about that)
Please, listen to me, and don’t scoff.
All his inventions are off his own bat.
There’s no such Cat in the metropolis;
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn
And we all say: OH!
Well, I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
And if you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gawn!
But you find it next week lying on the lawn.
And we all say: OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
PRESTO!
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? .
His manner is vague and aloof,
And you would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he’s sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof, of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall
And not long ago, this phenomenal Cat,
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say: OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Magical!
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say: OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
.
OH!
Well, I never!
Was there ever
A cat so clever
As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? .
I give you the magical, the marvelous…Mr. Mistoffelees!
Memory II
Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading.
Roses wither away
Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn.
I am waiting for the day.
color="black">.
Now Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle Life
color="black">.
Memory, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
And if you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
color="black">.
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
color="black">.
Burnt out ends of smokey days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
color="black">.
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes,
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin.
color="black">.
Sunlight, through the trees in the summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading
color="black">.
Touch me, it's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory of my days in the sun
If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun
Journey to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer
.
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
'Round the cathedral rang 'Vivat'
Life to the everlasting cat!
The Ad-dressing of Cats
You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat?
.
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.
.
With cats, some say one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to
Myself, I do not hold with that
I say you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow and taking off your hat
Ad-dress him in this form, "O' Cat!"
.
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
A little token of esteem is needed like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Straussburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He's sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name.
.
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there's how you ad-dress a cat
.
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
.
So this is this and that is that
And there's how you ad-dress a cat
Back
Home
