One ring.
Two.
Three rings.
"Hello, Dr. Sibly's office. This is Annah."
Becca pressed the phone closer to her ear and curled up even tighter in her spot on the couch. After Justin had shed way too many tears, she had finally convinced him to swallow the pill.
"Hi," she said softly into the phone keeping her voice down so Justin wouldn't hear her from upstairs. "This is Becca Chasez and I REALLY need to talk to Dr. Sibly. It's important."
"I'm sorry, he's in with a patient right now. Do you want me to have him call you?"
"Sure. Can I give you my cell phone number?"
"Of course."
She gave Dr. Sibly's secretary the number before hearing Justin's feet coming down the stairs. "Thank you. Good-bye," she said quickly into the phone, turning it off and looking over at him. "Feeling better?"
He practically ignored her, shoving his hands into the pockets of his khaki pants and walking toward the door. "Ready?" he asked.
She carefully studied his face, noticing that his eyes were dry, yet they still had a redness to them. "For what?" she wondered.
"Church. Remember? You said you wanted to go to church. Are you ready?"
She jumped up. "Oh yeah! I'm glad you remembered." She slipped on her spring jacket and then her shoes before putting her arm though his and leading him out the door.
Church was practically deserted. Four old nuns sat in the front row, on their knees with various colored rosaries in their wrinkled hands.
"Hail Mary, full of grace..." they continued on and Justin just stared at them until Becca pulled him to a pew near the middle of the church.
Behind them sat a couple with three small children and, there were a few elderly parishioners scattered around.
The nuns started another prayer in the rosary, "Our father, who art in heaven..."
Justin stared down at his hands, carefully studying all of the creases on his palm and then comparing them to those on the other hand. He traced them, over and over until the loud shrill of the church's organ echoed through the high ceiling, and then he jumped. Becca grabbed his hand and they both stood up.
The alter servers, lector and priest walked up the middle isle. Becca squeezed Justin's hand and leaned closer to him. "Are you mad at me?" she asked.
He dropped her hand, trading it to put around her waist. "No," he whispered back. "I'm not mad."
"Then what's wrong?"
He shrugged. "You won't understand now. I'll tell you later."
"Right," she sighed. "In a month..."
He hadn't forgotten that the last time he'd been in church had been JC's funeral, he just wasn't thinking about it very much. "Concentrate on what's good," Dr. Sibly would have said, had he been there.
The priest asked everyone to sit down and they did so. Justin pulled Becca closer to himself. "I'm not mad, I promise," he whispered in her ear. "If anything, I should be thankful that I have a friend like you."
"Maybe it's not really a place..." JC pondered as he stood back at the accident site. "Maybe it's more of an idea... the gates.... they could be wherever I want them to be." He looked around at the trees and out at the never ending blacktop that stretched out for forever in front of him. "Time and space aren't the same anymore." Perhaps they didn't even exist in this new world.
So, he closed his eyes and imagined what the gates would look like. They were pearly white, and reached as far up into the heavens as he could see. They sky was the perfect shade of sky blue and the ground beneath his feet didn't even exist... but it didn't matter in a place where gravity was nonexistent as well.
When he blinked his eyes open, the scene in his mind's eye was displayed before him. "I'm here... I made it," he whispered, making his way to the entrance. Behind the door stood a figure dressed in all lilac purple, her eyes a soft blue and her hair a golden brown.
"Who are you?" she asked, her voice echoing in such a manner that JC had never even imagined before.
"I'm JC. Terrance sent me."
She looked out at him suspiciously. "Oh... Terrance... If he sent you, then where's your pass?" Her hand slipped down the pearly bar.
For a split second, JC was scared that his pass had disappeared... but then he relaxed when he reached into his pocket and pulled it out. "Before I give this to you, I need to know what's going to happen to me. There are still some things that I need to tie up on Earth."
"Then why are you here?"
"Terrance said that I needed to be reevaluated. My guide was a lunatic. He was a fake."
"Who was your guide?"
"Mike."
Her eyes widened. "Oh... Mike."
"But you need to understand that If this pass gets me into heaven, I still need to go back to Earth one more time and tell some people good-bye."
She grabbed the slip right out of his hand and read it. Without even glancing at JC, she folded the note and put it into her pocket. "Guards!" she yelled.
JC froze. That didn't sound too great...
Five men appeared next to her. "Something wrong?" one asked.
"This spirit here," she pointed to JC, "has had MIKE as a guide. Could you please FIND Mike and get the information back from him?"
All five guards rushed off and once again, JC relaxed. No offense to Terrance, but he never wanted to see him again. Being sent to hell wouldn't be a pleasant thing.
She turned to JC. "You will be notified when a new guide is assigned to your case. However, I suggest you tie up your ends on Earth as soon as possible. You might be getting a BIG wake-up call."
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you."
Everything disappeared and he was back on Earth, standing on the road.
"I'll be right back," Becca told Justin as she headed down to the church's basement to use the ladies room.
He nodded, listening to the sound of her shoes as they clicked down the stone steps. When he couldn't hear them anymore, he dug into his pocket and found what he was looking for. He tightened his fingers around the small object, took his hand out of his pocket and slowly uncurled his fingers until a little, white pill appeared. Then, he closed his hand again.
He was angry at himself. Becca had TRUSTED him and he felt so selfish. He was expecting that she'd check his mouth again... but she hadn't. She trusted him that time. The second she'd turned her back, he'd spit the pill into his hand and shoved it into his pocket.
No matter how many times during church he'd convinced himself that crying wasn't worth it, he still felt guilty and he still felt like a jerk.
"Screw this," he muttered under his breath. Becca trusted him and now it was time for him to trust himself. He took two big steps over to the drinking fountain and popped the pill back into his mouth. He lowered his head to the spout and took a big drink, swallowing the pill. It went down easily. Such a little pill to cause so much grief.
"The pill isn't what's causing you grief," he said to himself. "It's you. You're causing yourself grief."
He heard Becca's feet coming back up the stairs and he wiped the excess water from his mouth before she saw him.
"Everything okay?" she asked, taking his hand and leading him to the door.
"Fine," he lied just as her cell phone rang.
"Sorry, hold on a second." She let go of his hand as they walked through the parking lot to his car. "Hello?" she sad after turning on her phone.
"Hi, this is Dr. Sibly. Am I speaking with Becca?"
"Yes, can you hold for one second?" She looked over at Justin who was turning the key in the lock and put her hand over the mouthpiece. "Justin... do you mind just sitting in the car for a minute? It's my mom and I really need to talk to her."
He nodded and opened the door before sliding into the drivers seat. She turned her back and uncovered the mouth piece.
"Thanks for calling me back, doctor. I just had to get rid of Justin before I talked to you about him."
"I hope everything's okay..."
"Well, yesterday I found out that he hadn't been taking his medication and I made him take it, but it wasn't easy. You should have seen him, Dr. Sibly. Yesterday he went numb on me and then this morning after it had worn off, the tears came back stronger than ever. He was almost inconsolable and I have to wonder... if there there's something going on that I don't know about. Now, I understand that everything he tells you is confidential, but he doesn't seem to be getting much better. Do you have any suggestions about what I could do to help him?
"Becca, I'm not sure what he's told you, but what I can say is that all you can do is be THERE for him. It's obvious that you care, so why don't you tell him that? He needs to hear it. Just keep making sure that he's taking his medication. It should have a weird effect on him at first... the numbness is common, but once he gets used to it being in his system, he'll feel better about taking it. Just let him know that you'll be there for him no matter what."
"Thank you. I'll do that. And I'll make sure that he gets in to see you next week."
"Thanks for calling, Becca."
"Thank YOU, Dr. Sibly. Good-bye."
Justin's eyes flew open and he wiped tears and sweat away from his face. Nights were the hardest. There hadn't been a night without weird dreams or nightmares since he'd started his medication about a week ago.
His body felt like it was burning so he threw the covers off of himself. The window was open and the second the cool air hit him, he was freezing cold. He shivered and pulled the blankets back up, only to be hot once again.
"Justin, there's something you need to know."
He blinked and JC was there. "What?"
"I didn't want to tell you before. I suppose I should have..." he shook his head. "Never mind. That doesn't matter anymore. But THIS does. Something happened last week... while you were sleeping that first night after you started your medication... I went to find help."
"From who?"
"This one guy... his name is Terrance and he sends people to Hell-" he stopped, seeing the frightened look in Justin's widening eyes. "No! It's not that. It's not what you're thinking. I asked for help, he heard me and then told me what was REALLY going on." JC sat on the edge of the bed, putting his face in his hands. "Mike's a fraud," he muttered.
Justin sat up in bed, his fists clutching the comforter. "What?!"
"Just that. He's a fraud, a fake. Terrance told me that he steals clients from the REAL guides, and now I have to be reevaluated."
Justin's fingers loosened up from around the blankets and he let out a sigh of relief. "JC, that's good news. Now we have more time."
JC put his hands down, but still didn't even glance at Justin. "But Terrance told me something else too..."
"What did he say?"
"That Mike was lying when he said that I could go back to Earth. That you can't live after you die. It's impossible."
Justin froze. It all seemed like a bad dream... a horrible nightmare, but at the same time, he knew it was real. Life without JC had begun over two months ago... but right then, it was starting for real. He was gone for good.
His eyes filled with tears that stung more than they ever had before. Without even thinking about, he crawled out of bed and made his way to the door. "Bye," he choked out, closing the door behind himself.
The hallway was almost as dark as the silence that surrounded him. As he stepped toward Becca's room, his heart began pounding hard, but the blood in his veins seemed to stand still. He raised his fist to her door, taking in a long, ragged breath before tapping softly on it.
When there was no answer, he knocked harder.
Still, no sound.
Slowly, he reached down to the brass doorknob and turned it, pushing the door open. Through teary eyes, he peered over at her bed and saw her there, with her blankets pulled up to her chin, staring back at him.
"God, Justin," she said, lowering the blankets. "You scared me!"
He was looking at her with a hurt in his eyes that she'd never encountered in him before. "Come here, honey. Tell me what's wrong."
He slipped through the door, turned around and gently closed it behind him. When he turned back around more tears fell down his cheeks.
"Come here," she said again.
In no time at all, he was sitting on her bed with his arms hugging his legs tightly. "He's really gone," he sobbed before burying his face between his knees. "It's true..."
Becca sat up and wrapped her arms around him. Had he just realized that now? "Of course he's gone, Justin. He has been for over two months now."
He lifted his head, looking at her through the tears. "But... but he's not coming back, Becca. Not now, not ever... Becca," he said her name again. "I've been lying to you about something... and I need to tell you about it now."
"Go ahead, honey. You can tell me anything," Becca assured him as she slipped her hand to the side of his face and guided his head to her shoulder.
"I have to tell you before I take another pill and I convince myself that I'm crazy and that you don't need to know." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I've been seeing things lately."
"Seeing what?"
"Something that I'm not supposed to see... something that goes against all the logic I've ever been taught, Becca... and you're never going to believe me, but I've just gotta tell you anyway. Just promise me that you won't send me to some mental institution, okay? Will you promise?"
"I promise. I would never want to send you to one of those God awful places anyway."
"Okay," he gulped. "Remember when I said that I didn't think JC was in heaven yet?"
Becca was confused. "Yeah, but-"
"That's because I know he's not."
"Justin-"
"Becca, sometimes I can see him. He talks to me, Becca."
Her hand stopped rubbing his back and her eyes stuck on the white chair next to the door. "Justin," she finally said. "What are you talking about? How can you see JC when he's dead?"
"He's a ghost," Justin explained. "He's been here with us ever since he died."
Tears stung beneath Becca's eyelids and all she wanted to do was to get away from him. How could he say such things? It was unnerving to think about someone watching you at all times... no matter who it was.
But Justin was shaking and so was she, so she just held him tighter. He couldn't be seeing or hearing JC. That was impossible. Obviously, something was wrong with him. "Justin," she said his name softly. "You can't be seeing him. Maybe you just think that you are."
He pulled away from her. "No!" he cried. "I'm not imagining it, Becca! He's always right there almost as plain as day! I'm not going to let you tell me that I don't see him when I know that I do."
"Then why can't I see him?"
"Because he's here to help me and no one else can see him. That's why," Justin explained as if it were common knowledge and she should be ashamed for not knowing it. "Shh..." she hushed as she pulled him back into her arms. "Why is he helping you?"
"Because his guide said that if he did, he could come back to Earth," Justin answered with a sniff.
Becca's eyes widened. Maybe Justin WAS insane. Everything coming out of his mouth sounded like something he'd made up in his head. However, it seemed to be making perfect sense to Justin, who rested his head heavily against her shoulder.
"Only he wasn't a real guide and everything he's said to JC was a load of lies and... and... now he's never coming back. NEVER."
"Justin," Becca said, kissing his forehead. "Why don't you get some sleep and we can talk about this in the morning when we're both awake."
"I AM awake," he muttered, sounding insulted, but still didn't move away from her. "Can I sleep here tonight? Do you mind? I just..." he let out a frustrated sigh. "I just need to be with you right now, okay?"
Chapter 19
Almost A Memory Now
JC {Fiction}
Justin {Fiction}
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I'll Never Stop {Fiction}
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