"This is nuts," Justin mumbled. "I can't go through this... not now. I can't go the hospital. I don't want to see..." he couldn't finish.
"Please, Justin. You've got to be there for her. She's all alone."
"Why are you here? I mean, shouldn't you be... in heaven or something?"
"It's a long story and I'll tell you everything soon, just PLEASE, go to the hospital and help Becca. She needs someone."
Justin straightened up. "She needs YOU."
JC wanted to cry, but he knew that that was impossible. "She can't have me. Not now."
"Not ever! JC, you're dead!"
"Just go, Justin. But you can't tell her that I'm still here. PROMISE me you won't tell her."
"Why?" Slowly, he took a step closer to JC. "I don't understand."
"I don't really understand either, but you just CAN'T tell her. Promise me you won't."
"I promise. Okay?"
"Good. Hurry, I want you to be at Becca's side as soon as possible." He was going to push him out the door, but remembered that he couldn't.
"Aren't you coming with?"
He nodded. "Yeah, but I don't want to go inside. I'm still not sure how this is all supposed to work. I've only been dead for... I don't know. It could be an hour, it could be a day. What time is it?"
Justin glanced at his watch. "Almost eleven."
"What day?"
"Saturday."
"Just to let you know, Justin, you probably shouldn't talk to me when we're out in public," he chuckled as they stepped down the stairs and then walked towards Justin's car. "You'll look like you're crazy."
Justin opened his door and got in while JC just stood there staring it. Justin rolled down the window. "I thought you were coming."
His eyes were focused on the door handle. "I don't know how to get in." He wasn't even sure if he WANTED to get in... after all, he had died in a car.
"Want me to open the door for you?" Justin offered.
"But can I sit on the seat?"
Justin shrugged. "You better figure this out. Can you MEET me there or something?"
"I don't know. Mike never said anything like that. There must be some sort of trick to it. Let me think."
"Hurry it up. Like you said before, Becca is at the hospital all alone." He paused. "Who's Mike?"
JC looked very carefully at the handle. He reached out his hand and touched it. He didn't feel anything, but at least his hand didn't go through the door.
"Pull," Justin told him.
JC pulled and the door opened. "What if someone's watching? Doors don't open by themselves."
"Of course they don't. You opened it. Remember?"
"But that's not what it LOOKS like to someone who can't SEE me."
Justin sighed. "Get in the car."
JC got in and shut the door. "You don't understand," he said as Justin started the engine and then stepped on the gas. "NO ONE can know about me... or it's over."
"What's over? You're dead, right? How much more over can it get?"
"Let's just say that it can."
"Okay. I'll take your word for it."
For a few moments it was silent. Justin kept his eyes on the road, but it was hard to pay attention. "JC?" he asked, turning his head for a quick glance at his friend. JC was barely there.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"How did it happen?"
"Car accident. I don't really remember exactly. It was like... one minute I was driving to the mall and the next thing I knew I was back in the car... only I wasn't really there. I got out, but I was still in there and I couldn't feel anything. Then they took me out of the car. Is this making sense?"
Justin shrugged. "I guess it has to."
"Becca was still in there," JC continued. "She was bleeding and you have no idea how scared I was."
"JC? I just want to say that I'm sorry about this. If you weren't here with me now, I don't know how I'd get through everything. I don't understand why you're here and why I'm the only person who can see you, but I'm really glad that I can."
"I had a choice, you know."
"What kind of choice?"
"Whether to come back. I could have gone to heaven."
"Why didn't you go?"
JC was mindlessly putting one hand through the other... seeing if at any point, they'd hit each other. "I have things to do here," he answered. "And if I do them right, I might get another chance at life."
"And if you don't?"
"I'm stuck here."
"For how long?"
"Well... for forever."
And you chose to come back? JC, that's crazy!"
"I had to. I had to come back. Like I said, I couldn't pass up the chance to live again. Becca needs me more than ever. Justin, she's pregnant."
Justin pulled up to the hospital's parking lot. "My God, JC, what a time to go."
"It's not like I chose. If I could go back in time, I would have never left the house this morning." He paused for a second. "But I can't play what-if games because none of them will ever happen. I CAN'T go back in time."
He parked the car in the ramp. "Maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe none of this is happening. I know! I fell asleep in my office. It's all a figment of my imagination."
"I wish that were the case, but if you were sitting in that car with me then, you'd know that this was real. If you could see what I do when I close my eyes, you'd know."
Justin opened his door, but before he even thought about stepping out, he turned to look at JC. "What did you look like?
"Bloody. Awful. Promise me you won't ever look. Don't let Becca look either. That's not how I want you guys to remember me."
"I won't look," he promised as he got out of the car and shut the door behind himself.
JC tried to open his door, but it didn't work. His hand went right through. "This isn't working," he said, but Justin couldn't hear him through since the window was up. He decided to take a shot in the dark and try to walk through the door.
It worked.
Justin took a step backwards. "That was really weird."
"Well, get used to it," JC told him as he started to the entrance. Suddenly, he stopped cold in his tracks, right at the door. "I can't go in."
"I still don't really understand why."
"Shh! You're not supposed to talk to me when people could be listening."
Justin gave him a look as if to say he was sorry.
"I can't go in because... I'm in there. I don't want to see myself."
"It's not you, it's only your-" he stopped talking, remembering that he wasn't supposed to.
"I still don't want to see. And even if I go in there, I don't want to see Becca crying. I couldn't handle that."
Justin nodded in understanding. He put his hand on the door. "You'll be here when I come out, right?" he said softly. "You're not going to disappear forever, are you?"
"Either I'll be here, or I'll come find you before the day is over. Don't worry. Nothing can hurt me, right?"
Justin wasn't sure whether to agree with him or not, but he gave a small nod anyway.
"And remember what I said about not telling anyone."
He nodded again before pushing the door open. "See you later, Jace."
"Bye." JC sat down on the steps and stared out at the street. It spooked him out that this could actually happen. he couldn't believe that his time had come and gone, yet he was still... on earth. Roaming around as a spirit, or ghost, or whatever he was, was unlike anything he had ever known before.
His emotions were skewed. He was so sad about everything that had happened, but it wasn't quite like being sad. It was different. He couldn't feel it the way he did when he was alive. Instead of feelings it was more of a sense. When he thought of things, he remembered what it felt like. That's what it was... it was the MEMORY of being sad.
Justin was shaking so much that he could barely walk straight and it was hard to breathe because his lungs stung with every breath. Now that JC wasn't with him anymore, the reality of it all was starting to sink in. He couldn't imagine what Becca was going through... that is, if she even knew by now.
The elevator stopped at the third floor and he got off, heading in the direction that the signs told him to go.
Finally, he stood weakly in front of room three sixty-eight. His feet hurt and so did his muscles. He had to struggle to breathe as he stepped inside and looked for Becca.
She was asleep on the bed. A bandage covered her wound and Justin watched her chest raise and fall as she breathed. He figured one of two things: either they gave her a sedative to knock her out or she hadn't come around yet... in which case, she didn't even know about JC.
Quietly, he sat down in the chair next to her bed and watched her sleep. Oh, God, how he wished JC were there to tell him what to do and what to say.
Suddenly, a thought came to him. What if JC was never a ghost? What if he received the news and his brain went in shock, causing him to hallucinate?
"God, why did this have to happen?" he asked out loud, still looking down at Becca. "JC, please come back." A tear slipped down both cheeks, but he didn't even bother to wipe them away.
When Becca's eyes fluttered open and her gaze landed on Justin, he could tell that she was confused. She went to sit up, but he gently pushed her back down. "Stay right there, Becca, you're hurt."
"Justin?" she said in a soft voice as she looked around the room. "Where are we?"
"The hospital," he answered.
Her hand flew to her stomach as the events slowly came back to her. "My baby," she whispered.
"I think the baby's fine," he told her. JC had mentioned that she was pregnant, and if he knew that Becca was okay, then he would know about the baby too. Wouldn't he?
"Where's JC?" she wondered, suddenly remembering that JC had been the one driving. "He's doing okay?"
Justin couldn't hold it back any longer and he broke down. "Becca," he sobbed, scooting his chair closer to the bed. "I'm so sorry..."
She let him slip his hand into her own. Tears filled her eyes. "What are you trying to say? He's hurt? He's having surgery?"
He shook his head and held her hand tighter. "He's not hurting," was the only thing he could think to say.
"Where is he?" she demanded. Becca couldn't breath anymore. It was beyond comprehension that what Justin was implying had actually happened.
"I'm sorry, Becca... but, JC... he didn't make it."
She felt an unknown hurt invade her body and then felt the hot tears burning trails down her cheeks. Justin had climbed up on the bed and was now holding her, trying to comfort her, but it just wasn't working.
"He didn't feel any pain," Justin said through his tears. "I bet he never even knew what was happening."
His words weren't helping either. She felt like her life was over, like nothing that happened after this moment mattered because JC was...
"JC, please," she heard his voice say softly. "We can't take this," and that made her cry even harder.
Outside, JC was standing on the sidewalk and looking up at the tall hospital. He wondered which room Becca was in and if Justin was with her yet. Then, his mind drifted and he found himself wondering where his body was. He prayed to God that no one he loved would ever have to see him in that condition.
People were rushing by him, THROUGH him and every time he saw an ambulance pull up to the building, he remembered what it felt like to be sick.
He had only been standing there for about a half hour when his vision started to blur and a whole other scene began playing out before his minds eye. He tried to look at his hands, his feet, any part of himself that he had been able to see a minute ago to make sure they were still there, but he saw nothing.
Then, suddenly, his vision went back to normal... well, as normal as a ghost's vision could be, and his hands reappeared. Well, they somewhat reappeared, but he had been in a transparent stage for quite some time now, so he thought nothing of it.
He put his hands down and what he saw would have broken his heart if he could still feel things like that. There, on the hospital bed were Becca and Justin sobbing into each other's arms. He hated to be the cause of so much pain.
Justin saw him. "JC, I thought-"
Before he could get another word out, JC put a finger to his lips. "Don't talk to me when Becca's with you," he reminded his friend. "Nod yes or no... did she take the news badly?"
Justin nodded his head painfully.
"Do you think she'll be okay?"
Justin didn't nod. He didn't shake his head no either. All he did was raise his eyebrows slightly as if to say that he wasn't sure.
JC sighed. "I know what you're thinking. You're wondering why I'm here since I said I wasn't coming up, but it was really weird. I didn't walk up here like you did... I sort of dissolved into nothing and then all of a sudden I was here. I'm wondering how it happened." He sat down at the edge of the bed and looked at the beck of Becca's curly head.
"You know, Justin," he started. "You have no idea how much I want to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything will be okay when I'm done here. I want to come back to her so bad... I've just gotta make this work." His eyes fell on Justin. "Will you help me?"
With a sniff, Justin nodded his head slowly. He rubbed Becca's back and gently told her that things would get better later.
"Promise her," JC whispered. "Tell her that you know for sure."
"I promise," he said in her ear. "I know that they will."
Becca was too shaken up to say anything back to him, but she put her arms further around him and held onto him so tightly, he thought he was going to explode.
JC moved a little closer. "Tell her that I loved her more than anything in this world."
"Becca, he loved you more than anything in this world," Justin relayed to her. "I know he did."
"Justin," she sobbed. "It's not that I don't want to hear the words, it's just that I'm trying to not to think about anything right now. It hurts too much."
He couldn't stand watching her in so much pain so he got up from the bed. "I have to go," he said. "I can't stay here and watch this."
Justin shook his head. The look in his eyes was frightening. "Don't go," he mouthed.
JC stood next to the bed. He reached out his hand and tried to touch Becca's curls. When that didn't work, he leaned down so that his face was directly in front of hers. Her head was on Justin's shoulder and her eyes were closed, but he could still see her clearly. "I'm so sorry, baby," he said, putting his fingers as close as he could get them to her cheek. "I didn't mean to leave you and I'll always love you."
He tried to place a kiss on her lips, but felt nothing. He sighed. "I know you can't see me, or hear me... you can't even feel me when I try to touch you, but I wish you could know that I'm here," he gave a sad chuckle. "Well, I'm sorta here."
He straightened up. "Justin, I have to go."
More tears fell down Justin's cheeks. "No," he whispered. "You can't."
Becca pulled away from him and looked through her teary eyes and into his. "Can't what?"
JC crossed his arms. "Justin, you've gotta be more careful! Tell her that you were just thinking about something."
"Ah... I was just thinking about something."
"About what?"
"You don't remember," JC told him.
"I don't remember," Justin repeated. "My thoughts are all scattered."
She fell back into his arms. "I miss him so much."
"Next time be more careful," JC warned him. "She really CAN'T know that I'm here."
"I know," Justin responded to both JC and Becca. "I know..."
"I don't know what to tell you," JC muttered as he walked around the room, just looking things over. "I realize that you won't be able to talk to me a lot since you'll be with Becca." He spun around to face Justin. "You will, right?"
Justin nodded and JC gave a sigh of relief.
"But do you know what? Even if you can't say much back to me right now, it helps to know that you're listening. If no one could hear me, or see me, I think I'd feel... so alone."
Chapter 3
Almost A Memory Now
JC {Fiction}
Justin {Fiction}
My Fiction
I'll Never Stop {Fiction}
Email me