Almost A Memory Now... Chapter 3

He stepped to the door. "I'll find you later, okay?" He saw Justin nod and then reached to turn the doorknob. His hand went right through. "Whoops... I keep forgetting," he mumbled before he went right through the door.

Out in the hallway, there were more people walking around him than he'd expected. He was about to walk away when he noticed something. There was a man in his fifties standing at the very end of the hallway just staring directly into his eyes.

He froze. What ever happened to 'No one but Justin can see you.'? Scared that someone had seen him and that his chance was over and done with, he stepped back through the door and turned to Justin.

"Someone SAW me!" he said in a panic. "He was looking straight into my eyes, Justin! What if it's over? What if I'm stuck here forever?"

Obviously, Justin couldn't say anything, but the look on his face said it all.

"I know you're scared," JC continued. "So am I. Maybe I should go back out there and see for sure. What if he just happened to be looking in my direction?"

Justin just looked at him.

"Okay, I'm going out again." He took a moment to work up enough courage and then stepped back out into the hall.

The man was still there... and still looking at him.

"Hey, you," the man called.

JC pointed to his chest. "Me?" he whispered.

"Yeah, you." He began walking towards JC. "Where'd you come from?"

"You can see me?"

"Of course I can see you." The second he got close enough for JC to see him clearly, he realized that this man was obviously dead. His transparent form gave him away. "I can tell by just looking at you that you're dead," the man continued. "What happened?"

"What do you mean, what happened?"

"How did you die? Why are you still here?"

"I was in a car accident," JC told him. "My wife and unborn baby are okay... but obviously I wasn't. I'm here to help a friend and hopefully I'll get another chance."

"Things seem to be looking up for you."

"What do you mean? I'm DEAD. How much worse could it get?"

"You've got a chance, but I don't. I'm here forever. It's not much fun... especially when I can't leave this God forsaken building."

"You can't leave?" JC wondered if he'd have to stay in the hospital forever if he couldn't find a way to make Justin happy. Or maybe he'd just wander the roads and highways... where he died.

"No, I can't. I've been here for twenty-two years and counting. Being dead and on earth isn't a fun thing, let me tell you."

"No, I guess it's not," he agreed.

"Well, good luck, kid." the man said before turning around and walking off in the other direction.

"Bye," JC called after him, but couldn't be sure whether he'd heard him or not. His form faded into nothing and the hospital scene went back to normal. Everyone who was alive kept going about their business.

"I've gotta get out of here," JC said to himself. He put his head through the door. "Everything's okay. Don't worry," he said quickly to Justin and then returned to the hall.

"How can I do this?" Maybe if he thought about it hard enough, he could force himself back outside. It had worked before, but he hadn't done anything to make it happen. "Think hard," He said, closing his eyes tightly and wishing himself back in the parking lot.

When he opened his eyes, he realized that he wasn't in the parking lot. He wasn't even in the hospital... he was back in the white room.

Mike sat on his chair reading that same book. He looked up over his reading glasses at JC and smiled. "Are things going well?"

"I'm DEAD. My wife is in tears and my best friend thinks he might be dreaming, or going insane. If you consider that WELL, then there must be something wrong with you."

Mike shut the book. "Slow down. You had to expect all of that. Did you think people would be HAPPY that you died?"

JC shook his head. "No... but this is REALLY hard."

"I understand, but why are you here? Do you have any questions?"

"How do I move myself?"

"You mean from place to place? You got here, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I got here, but I wanted to go to the hospital parking lot."

"But you moved. You'll just have to get better at it. Don't worry. It'll come."

"But I didn't even TRY to move the first time. It just happened."

"Someone else moved you."

"But who?"

"It must have been Justin. He's the only one who knows about you, right?"

"Right..." JC was confused. "But how can Justin move me?"

"Maybe he wished you somewhere. Tell me, JC, when you reappeared, were you with him?"

JC nodded. "So you're saying that just because Justin wanted me with him, I automatically went there?"

"That must be it," Mike agreed. "With every case it's different. Can Justin hear and see you?"

"Yes, he can. He's been able to see me from the second I went back. But... I have another question."

"Shoot."

"Other people can see me too," he started.

Mike's eyes widened. "The living?"

"No! The dead. No one who's alive can see me besides Justin."

"Oh!" Mike exclaimed. "You scared me for a second there! Dead people can see other dead people, that's just the way it is. You're all on the same level... the same frequency, if you will. Just how we can see each other, you can see others who are at that level."

"Wait, all that makes sense, but if I'm on a different level than they are, then how come they can't see me, but I can see them?"

Mike thought about his words for a second. "Well, you see, the levels aren't THAT different. We're lower than they are, though. Think of it like a window. You can look out at them, on their frequency, but when they look in your direction, they see a mirror that doesn't reflect back at them, but reflects what's on the other side of you and makes them only able to see through you. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, kind of, but if Justin and I are on different levels, then how come he can see me and talk to me like... like I'm alive?"

"Because he's who you're helping. However, I've had cases where the selected living could only SEE the dead, but couldn't HEAR the dead. It all depends on that person's senses. It's hard to explain what Justin has in him that allows him to see and hear you, but if he can do both things, then obviously it's there. Let's just say that his mind is... open."

"Okay, now I get it. This is starting to make a LOT more sense."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it." Mike opened his book back up and went back to reading.

JC sat there watching him for a minute when he realized that Mike wasn't going to start another conversation. "Um..." he said quietly. "Is there anything you can suggest for me to do?"

It took a second for Mike to look up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Is there anything in particular that I should know before I try to find ways to make Justin happy? And how do you expect him to be happy three months after my death? That doesn't make sense to me."

Mike slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, JC, but you should have thought of this before you chose this option. There's nothing I can really tell you except that you're his friend and you know him best, so shouldn't you be the one to decide what'll make him happy?"

Suddenly, he became more frightened than he had been all day. He didn't know what to say to Mike and he hadn't the slightest clue of what he should do next. "Well, I... um..." he stuttered. "I guess I'll just have to figure it out."

"I'm sorry, JC."

He looked on as Mike discontinued eye contact and went back to his book. What did this mean? He was SORRY? Sorry that JC had made the wrong decision? Did Mike know that there was no way he could make Justin happy? Did he already know that he was destined to spend the rest of eternity wandering around the earth with no contact with anyone he loved?

If he could have felt hurt, betrayed and disappointed, then that's what he would have felt. "Well," he muttered quietly as he took one last glance at Mike and then closed his eyes. "Good-bye for now, I guess."

"Good-bye," Mike's voice echoed through his thoughts.

He didn't know where he was going and to a certain extent, he didn't even care. Everything within his soul wanted to be upset. He wanted to scream, to knock things over and yell to the world that it wasn't fair. If it weren't for Becca, he wouldn't even care what happened to him.

He slowly opened his eyes, finally wondering where he'd turn up. The sight came in slowly but surely and he realized that he was back in the hospital room. Becca was fast asleep in the bed and Justin, sitting on a chair with his head cocked to one side, was asleep as well.

He was such a fool to think that after dying, he could find a way for Justin to be happy. Who would be happy after their best friend had died? He must have been tricked into it. What was it? Too many people in heaven? Maybe God decided that there wasn't enough room for him, but didn't want to send him to hell, so he plopped him right back down on earth... which would have been just fine... if he were ALIVE!

Suddenly, he wanted to wake Justin up. He walked over and tried to tap his shoulder. "Wake up, Justin. You've gotta get up."

Justin didn't move.

"Can't you hear me when you're sleeping? Is that something else that they forgot to tell me?" JC closed his eyes and thought about moving Justin. When he opened his eyes and went to shake him, he moved him slightly. "Wake up!"

Justin's eyes blinked open. For a second, a look of disappoint flashed in his eyes. "I just... I just wanted all of this to be a dream," he said sadly. "It's not."

"No, it's not," JC agreed. "It's not a dream and I'd give everything to make it one, but I can't." He sat down on the end of the bed. "Justin, there's something I need to tell you."

"What's that?" Justin asked, looking at him with interest.

"I didn't tell you this before, but the reason that you can see me is because I'm supposed to be helping you."

"You are? Helping me with what?"

JC stood up again. He wanted to cry. "I'm supposed to find a way to make you happy... then if I can do that, I get to come back."

Justin stood up to face him. "JC," he said, more tears streaming down his cheeks. "I AM happy! I swear to you, I am. Just come back!" He went to put his arms around his friend, but went right through, feeling nothing. He fell to his knees and cried.

JC turned around and looked down at him. "I'm so sorry, Justin. I wasn't thinking when I made this deal. I realize what I've done and I'm afraid to say that I think I've made the wrong decision." He got down on his knees next to Justin. "Don't cry over me. I don't want you to cry like that."

Justin looked up from his hands and at JC. "How can you say you've made the wrong decision? This is another chance at LIVING! I'll FORCE myself to be happy if I have to. This has to work. I'll MAKE it work."

"How can you be happy when Becca's so sad? How are you going to walk around my wake... my funeral with a smile on your face? I know you'll be crying, Justin. If the roles were reversed, I'd be in tears too. There's no way around it." He paused with a sigh as he looked down at the shiny, white floor. Justin's reflection was there, but his wasn't. "I was tricked into this."

Justin wiped away a few tears. "Tricked? How?"

"When they were telling me my options. What did they expect from me? I had just died, I was worried about my wife and I wanted to be with her. They KNEW what I would pick."

"But that's what you HAD to pick," Justin argued. "Do you know what life would be like without you? You knew that none of us could bear it and that's why you're here right now. You didn't do it for you, you did it for everyone else. JC, even if this doesn't work out, and it WILL, no one deserves to go to heaven more than you. If there is a God, then He should see that... He should know what you're doing for us and let you up anyway. It's not fair."

"You're right. It's not fair, but this is what I've chose and I have to deal with it. After my funeral, I'm going to make sure that you're happy. We're going to do this, Justin. I can't leave Becca." He looked up at her from his spot on the floor. "Why is she sleeping?"

"The nurse came. She gave her a sedative so she could rest." He looked down at the floor, also noticing JC's absent reflection. "It was horrible, JC. She was so upset... I'm not sure if I'm comforting her as much as I should be."

"You're there for her and I think that's all you can do."

"I just thought about something."

"What's that?"

"Just about how all of this is absolutely insane. Think about it... I'm on the floor in a hospital talking to my dead friend and I believe all of this? JC, your wake is on Monday and your funeral is on Tuesday and I'm going to both... thinking about how I'll never see you again, but that's not true, is it? And just think... If anyone were to be listening to me talk to you, I'd be placed in a mental institution or something. This is crazy, it's absolutely insane and I can't say that I wish you'd have gone straight to heaven because if you weren't here right now, I really WOULD be in a mental institution. But... I want you to be happy too, JC, and maybe you SHOULD have just gone to heaven. I'd miss you a hell of a lot, but at least you'd be safe."

"Justin, just stop worrying about me. I hate seeing everyone so upset."

Justin looked at him as he wiped away his tears. "You're not really here, but you are... and if this were anyone besides you, I don't think I'd believe it. Am I going crazy? Is this all in my head?"

JC just shook his head. "I wish this were a dream. I wish I could wake up, roll over and hold Becca in my arms. Wouldn't that be great if it were only a dream?"

"You mean a nightmare?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant. This whole thing is a nightmare... only it's real."

"Maybe it's not. Maybe I can still wake up."

"I'll just keep saying this until you believe me. It's NOT a dream. I'm here, I'm not real in a physical sense, but it's me.... and I have to do this"

"I don't think I ever asked you if you had a time limit. Do you?"

"Yes." He stood up. "I have a time limit. It seemed long at first, but now it seems like nothing."

"How long?"

"Three months."

"Three months?!" He shot up and JC put his finger to his lips.

"Shh! Someone will hear you! You said you didn't want to be in an institution. If someone hears you talking like that..."

"I know!" He was getting frustrated with the whole situation. Inside his heart, he was breaking up. He wanted answers to his questions, but the closest he could get to the answers was through JC, and JC didn't know either. He pointed to a table in the corner with random items on it. "Would you mind if I went into a mad rage and knocked that over?"

Chapter 4
Almost A Memory Now
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Justin {Fiction}
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